X reports from the set of HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS!!!
Hey folks, Harry here with our Spy in the UK known only as X... filling us in on that room of secrets filled with Harry Potter stuff. Here's the latest, I know nothing about this book or story, but you probably do. Here's the report...
X, The Man Who Could See Through Time here, your daily reader and infrequent spy. It's been a while since I've had anything for you, but luckily Hollywood has been a longtime lover of Fine Old Universities. Before I knew your site, I was witnessing Matt Damon and Minnie Driver make out through a mouthful of tasty burger in a fine, though now non-existent diner in a certain small town in Massachusetts. Then it was getting woken up by Tia Carrera's swordplay outside my bedroom window every morning, in a little college north of the 49th that's been the Nice Stonework Backdrop (tm) for many a shoot ("Dead Ringers", "Urban Legends", "Superstar", "Relic Hunters", etc. etc.).
Now I'm glad to say I can finally bring you some fresh material from the other side of the pond. The second Harry Potter film, "The Chamber of Secrets" (likely American title: "The Room of Secrets") is shooting right now at Christ Church College, Oxford. Usually the Oxford papers cover such events, but it's Easter vacation for another week, and no one seems to have taken much notice of this sizeable shoot yet.
On-set voyeurism isn't always fun and games, especially for a madman with my specially treated optic nerves. Today's run through Christ Church field almost ended in a collision with a large snowy owl by the name of Hedwig. I came tearing around a corner and nearly ran smack into the owl and its handler. The handler was talking to a little girl with her parents, so I got to have an undisturbed look at the bird. It was beautiful, and seemed completely serene. I heard hooting, and turned to see an open truck with at least three other owls in it.
The crew has been here for a week, setting up a large trailer park on the green grass of Christ Church field. I pass by it every day on my run, and get to see how things are evolving. There's definitely work being done with principals, because on Sunday I ran past a line of trailers with the following character names on the doors. Avid "Potter" readers can go to work figuring out which scenes were being shot:
Fred and George Weasley
Fred and George Weasley (Stunt)
Colin Creevy (Stunt)
Off the top of my head I can't recall who Millicent is; might she be the main Slytherin girl?
Today (Wednesday) the principals' trailers were nowhere in sight. Instead, four expensive-looking buses with the name of an Oxford school on the side were pulled up where the trailers had parked. This probably means a hundred or so little tykes were swarming around in sub fusc (black robes, mortarboards, etc.) during the day. They're probably shooting scenes in the college's dining hall, aka the Hogwarts Main Hall.
Finally, besides my close encounter with a young wizard's mail-owl, I saw a young woman who was probably a principal, though I didn't recognize her, and couldn't imagine who she'd be playing. She was probably in her late teens, but short for her age, and with dark skin and hair. She looked a bit like a young Marissa Tomei. Like Hedwig, she too had a handler with her at all times. I saw her twice; once talking on a cell phone while holding a pink teddy bear, and once walking with her handler, who spoke in an English accent. Of course, I shouldn't assume she was cast, since it was late in the day and things were closing down for the evening. On the other hand, she definitely seemed out of place among the crew, who were mostly men in reflective jackets. When I finished my run the sun was setting, and a number of nice cars were leaving the set after the swank school buses.
Sorry it's not much for you Harry-- but consider it that little scoop of mango sorbet you eat to cleanse your palate between courses. Sorry I missed seeing you in London, too. I liked your book (so you've got the endorsement of at least one Oxford graduate student in literature-- not that that's any measure of taste). I think it goes to show that if you love anything enough, enough to sacrifice your life to it, you can become the best at it. I hope the book makes you some money, after all the time and effort that you've put into your chosen vocation.
Off to wrestle with the Nth dimension. . . later, Head Geek.
Readers Talkbackcomments powered by Disqus
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April 11, 2002, 8:11 a.m. CST
That, my friend, is an absolute classic. Followed swiftly, of course, by Harry Potter and The Convict Guy from The Evil Prison Of Doom. God, you've got to love those Yanks....
April 11, 2002, 8:20 a.m. CST
by Son of JOHN TITOR
Should have put a spoiler warning on that shit. Crazy.
April 11, 2002, 8:29 a.m. CST
The first two books were simply for the kids. Rowling only bothered to appeal to the adults with the Prisoner of Whereveritwas and that big chunky one. The first film was at best average - I doubt I'll bother paying to see the second, not that that means anything. I'm just bored...
April 11, 2002, 8:32 a.m. CST
by Lance Rock
April 11, 2002, 8:39 a.m. CST
by Chilli Kramer
U.S title: Harry Potter and the hot cup. I'm so glad Haley Joel has no part in this franchise. 'I see dead career'.
April 11, 2002, 9 a.m. CST
can't believe it! Room of secrets??!! Although it doesn't surprise me from American Hollywood productions.
April 11, 2002, 9:11 a.m. CST
by Chilli Kramer
The 'room full of secrets' thing was a joke by the reviewer. Also, are you JK Rowling? Just this suspicion I have...
April 11, 2002, 9:16 a.m. CST
Hit that return button too soon. Room of Secrets? Fucking priceless. I love these books, and I can't wait for the rest of the movies. I live in the USA, and please folks, don't think Americans are stupid. They just have stupid marketing people who are convinced the average American can't read. Wait, that may be true. Whatever. The truth is, EVERBODY's heard of the books. Whatever it's called, it's the "Harry Potter" at the front of the title that will draw a crowd, not whether or not it says Sorcerer or Philosopher. Or Room of stuff we don't know. Blah.
April 11, 2002, 10:02 a.m. CST
Mr. "X" - have you even read the books? Millicent Bullstrode (not Bullstrade) is a minor character - Pansy Parkinson is the main Slytherin girl. And when the heck are we going to see book five??? I'm a huge Harry Potter geek, and I'm dying here!
April 11, 2002, 10:31 a.m. CST
Excuse me, but the word "philosopher" is not a mystery to Americans, we just wouldn't get the connection to alchemy is all. We use the word to describe somebody who loves knowledge and one who studies the principle of thought, ethics, logic, and the metaphysical. We think "teacher," we do not think magic. If you need to be angry at something, be angry that the publishers chose to avoid forcing young readers to reconsider the word by simply replacing it for marketing purposes. Sad. But attack us for being different from you proves how stuffy you Brits can be. If we renamed fish and chips to fish and french fries, would you get pissy about that too? ***** Meanwhile, as sub par as I thought the movie version was(I hate that Columbus took out all my favorite parts from the book like Harry's meeting all the kids on the Hogwart's Express--particularly his first meetings with Malfoy--and the general unpleasantness that came with his relationship to the other Hogwart students during his first year), I'd like to see the kids continue in the roles as long as possible, mainly because I'm afraid it will be forgotten by the studio that Harry AGES in these books. He is NOT a little boy from about the fourth book on. The bit with Moaning Mertle in the boy's bathroom reads pretty kreepy if Harry is supposed to be a little preteen. I can see the studio doing it though--thinking that it can only appeal to little kids if the main characters are little too--and so at age fifteen Harry looks twelve again. If they recast the parts to seem younger with Goblet of Fire, then they'll probably have to recast for every movie after that given how kids grow in their teens. Lord knows they get 30-year-olds to play teens over here in the states all the time, they should keep this kids as long as possible--until they run out of books to adapt. Rowling isn't going to finish her series by the time the movies catch up with her. ***** Although I would not object to recasting Dumbledore. My apologies to Richard Harris fans, but he lacked the warmth of that character. If I didn't want Sir Ian McKellen to avoid being typecast(and besides, he's perfect for Mad Eye Moody) I'd say beg him to do it. Peter O'Toole would be great, but good luck getting him.
April 11, 2002, 10:51 a.m. CST
Gee whiz! The scooper was joking about the film's title. In your rush to show how knowledgable and intelligent you are (at least where H. potter is concerned), you totally missed the joke. For shame...
April 11, 2002, 10:52 a.m. CST
Just tell us what you saw. Leave out the encounters with The Green Goblin, Jar Jar Binks, and Hedwig.
April 11, 2002, 10:59 a.m. CST
You know...I hate marketing people. Bill Hicks said it best when he told them to take themselves out for the good of humanity. The average american would have no trouble with the idea of a Philosopher's Stone over a Sorcerer's Stone..but for some unknown reason, the marketers are convinced that we're highly trained monkeys without a grasp of language or the ability to learn. Advertisers and marketing types make careers out of dumbing things down for mass consumption, yet it is precisely those movies which challenge our intellect and imagination, that cause the most excitement and talk. Look at the Sixth Sense. Smartly marketed for a change, not spelling everything out for us. Result: box office smash. Memento; smartly marketed and a hit. If a major studio had trusted the intelligence of the audience, they could have had something akin to "sixth sense" in terms of buzz. What about the Matrix? That movie is an intellectual/philosophical, kung fu/cyber fantasia. Audiences ate it for b'fast, lunch and dinner. I'm tired of being talked down to by ads that assume I have the attention span of a five year old kid. I'm sick of marketers thinking they can just throw a hot gil into a movie, regardless of acting ability (see: the woman in Blade 2, for specific example) because all we want is a nice ass. I want more, dammit. I want respect for my intelligence. And I want people in other countries to understand that the American people are smarter than our businesses would have you believe.
April 11, 2002, 11 a.m. CST
If you know what I mean, heh heh heh. Ahem. sk
April 11, 2002, 12:28 p.m. CST
Licence to Kill was changed to License to Kill for american release.
April 11, 2002, 12:34 p.m. CST
What are you waiting for, all seven movies to be done?
April 11, 2002, 12:43 p.m. CST
by Gul Shah
In France, "Jaws" was known as "Les dents de la mer" or "Teeth of the sea!" Genius!
April 11, 2002, 12:43 p.m. CST
Gamegal should be flogged.... I REALLY hope SHE was trying to use irony too! Otherwise I see no hope for our youth. Please people, voice your views on GAMEGAL'S inane comment!!!!
April 11, 2002, 12:56 p.m. CST
by Mr. Wednesday
Title of the last book. Really. By this point, harry is tired of wizardry and finds new things to experiment with. Hmm....."The Time" is the musical guest on this old rerun of SNL. It's funny.
April 11, 2002, 1:09 p.m. CST
by Almost Sexy
Hope you're not holding your breath on the next book. The people at the dirty british publishing company wanted to hold off on releasing the next book until 2003, as it didn't make sense for them to distribute it before the Chamber of Secrets movie is released. They believe that fan anticipation for the next movie will drive up sales on the first four books, and they don't want to lose any of that extra revenue due to releasing Order of the Phoenix concurrently. They originally slated release (I think) for winter or spring of 2003, but have recanted and said it'll be out in 2002. If this is the case, it'll probably coincide with the release of the movie. Oh and Gamegal: I don't think your comments were inane, although I'm not just gonna go right ahead and assume you're a woman (or even a "gal"), as there's some very strange people on the internet, not to mention this talkback. Speaking of dirty, dirty, crusty brits: I just saw Kenneth Brannagh's new film (starring, not directing), called How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog. I quite thoroughly enjoyed it.
April 11, 2002, 1:14 p.m. CST
by Almost Sexy
As for strange translations of film titles in otha countries: Demi Moore's tantalizingly salacious Indecent Proposal (starring Robert Redford and Woody from Cheers as well) was called "Peach Colored Transaction" in Japan. What I would or wouldn't give to live in such a thrice-blessed land.
April 11, 2002, 2:16 p.m. CST
by Thelma Scumm
"Cop Gives Waitress $2 Million Tip" (great title!) became "It Could Happen to You" (yawn) and "Basil of Baker Street" became "The Great Mouse Detective" -- the changing of Harry Potter's film title to dumb it down is not new. (Heck, for that matter, blame the publishers, not Hollywood, because the BOOK had the title change first)......The comment about "king George III" reminds me of the fellow who didn't want to see "Malcolm X" until he could see "Malcolm I" through "Malcolm IX"...
April 11, 2002, 2:33 p.m. CST
Why is it that every single time there is a story posted on one of these pictures, Harry needs to make a point that he hasn't read the books? We get it already.
April 11, 2002, 2:40 p.m. CST
thanks for your report X. i know the security conditions of POTTER are pretty high but couldn`t you try to get much closer. wouldn`t it be thrilling for you too? but however i don`t want to bitch about your report. you just wanted to tell a lil bit on an interesting and maybe adventerous way it`s ok and it sounds trustable.******************i`m glad i`m not the only one who hasn`t read any of the books yet...
April 11, 2002, 2:45 p.m. CST
April 11, 2002, 2:47 p.m. CST
undoubtedly be called Harry and the Secret Chamber Pot by confused senior citizens taking their grandchildren to the show. Much like the senior citizens who order "Fajinas" at Mexican restaurants.
April 11, 2002, 3:28 p.m. CST
I lived in Wales for a little while and it always seemed like the Brits were dumbing stuff down that we sent over there. The most glaring example I can think of this is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Over there they are "Hero" Turtles! Just doesn't sound right ey? They even re-recorded the theme song and everything!
April 11, 2002, 4:20 p.m. CST
was changed to "Midnight Thunder" for its Australian Release. And "Renaissance Man" w/ danny DeVito was changed to "Army Intelligence!"
April 11, 2002, 4:36 p.m. CST
No, I am NOT JK Rowling.... If I was, ... pardon me if I didn't get the joke.
April 11, 2002, 5:01 p.m. CST
by EL Duderino
April 11, 2002, 5:07 p.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
Imagine it, Fanboys: Jude Law or Orlando Bloom as Tintin. Yes, make him British, not French (can you imagine ANY Frenchman being that brave?) and DEFINITELY not American. Ricky Tomlinson or Fred Ward as Captain Haddock, Geoffrey Rush as the Thompson twins and Steve Buscemi as Professor Calculus. Keep it period, get Elliot and Rossio to write it and keep Stephen Sommers, Simon West and Chris Columbus the fuck away from it. Recipe for success if ever I've heard one.
April 11, 2002, 5:45 p.m. CST
by Buzz Maverik
INT. CHAMBER OF SECRETS (ALSO KNOWN AS THE PLACE IN THE CASTLE OF STUFF YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT) -- NIGHT. Harry, Hermione and Ron look up in awed silence at the wonders before them. RON:"Crikey!" HARRY:"What is that in the jar?" Hermione picks up a jar containing a gray, lumpish object pickled in formaldahyde. HERMIONE:"It's J.F.K.'s brain." RON:"And look at this. It's a kit for making crop circles!" HARRY:"Look at this! It's the missing volumes of Dr. John Dee's Enochian sessions with Edward Kelly!" HERMIONE:"Oh, my God! I thought this was supposed to be sealed in the Vatican!" HARRY & RON:"What?" HERMIONE:"The final prophecy of Fatima." RON:"Hard to believe the Virgin Mary wasted her time telling those peasant girls which guy Rachel would end up with on FRIENDS." HARRY:"Look over here! No, past the Roswell saucer! It's the formula for Coca Cola written on the front cover of the KILL BILL screenplay!" HERMIONE:"What's that underneath?" RON:"I think it's Joyce DeWitt from THREES COMPANY!"....
April 11, 2002, 6:14 p.m. CST
a perfect example of blandness and a cop out american ending "you go ahead Harry, your the best of us... etc" ------- good books though, especially the last one. I cant wait for the next book. Now if only someone does the Subtle Knife.....
April 11, 2002, 6:42 p.m. CST
I think everyone who's posted something on here about how we have to dumb things up for Americans, or people who have responded calling the posters "crusty brits", are being quite childish. It's just a movie, and the title was a joke from the poster, obviously. So, don't downgrade your integrity by making some childish comments that really don't make a difference in the end anyway! Harry Potter is awesome, and although the post doesn't sound altogether too trustworthy, it was interesting to read it.
April 11, 2002, 7:08 p.m. CST
The report sounds pretty grnuine to me. Only an Oxford student would use the phrase "sub fusc" to describe robes, or gowns as we "'Tabs" like to call it. Robes to everyone else. ANd Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles was retitles from the original as the BBC thought any reference to Ninja had too violent connotations. Shame about the boat race, but at least a very recent Cambridge alumnus is playing Tom Riddle. Christian Coulson, saw him in a student production of Cabaret 2 years ago as the MC. I've been in the equivalent productions of 42nd Street and Copacabana in 2001 and 2002, but Chris Columbus still hasn't come calling.
April 11, 2002, 7:09 p.m. CST
Horrible, almost plagirized, stilted writing, cribbing every fantasy cliche into a non-threatening goulash of sluch pile authorship. A conspiracy to foist banality on the cookie cutter masses. JK Rowling had the image rights sold before the first book even went into trade paperback. The whole thing is mass market, corporate driven drivel masquerading as something worthwhile. I'm an idiot for even taking time to comment.
April 11, 2002, 8:45 p.m. CST
by Tokyo Joe
But the absolute most bemusing name change of all time had to be Evil Dead 3:Army of Darkness. Which in Japan changed to...Captain Supermarket! :()
April 11, 2002, 8:49 p.m. CST
by Tokyo Joe
Oh yeah! There was that stupid rock music playing knight story from last year "A knights tale"? in Japan it's got the much more suitable title "Rock You!"
April 11, 2002, 9:32 p.m. CST
The girl in her teens sounds like the description given to a ghost called Moaning Myrtle (who plays a big part in this story, and a helpful part in "Goblet of Fire"). Spoilers in ROT13: Fur unq gur hasbehagngr yhpx bs orvat Ybeq Ibyqnzbeg'f svefg ivpgvz.
April 11, 2002, 9:33 p.m. CST
by Almost Sexy
I wasn't calling anyone in this talkback a crusty brit. I only referred to a british publishing house and Kenneth Brannagh as such, and I was being entirely disingenuous in regards to the latter. I'm actually a big fan. However, I won't try to debunk any charges of childishness leveled against me, as I really am. Hey Tokyo Joe, I got another one for you. Those kooky Japanese movie distributors do love the occasional titular augmentation. In the proverbial Land of the Rising Sun (not to be confused with the House of the Rising Sun, natch) James Cameron's Arnold Schwarzenegger-starring flick is known as Devil-Emperor True Lies. Those wacky kids.
April 11, 2002, 10:28 p.m. CST
by Tokyo Joe
Everyone in Japan thinks Apocalypse Now! is a really stupid title since they have the much cooler "Apocalypse of Hell". Then there's Van Damme's "Death Warrant" which for obvious reason translates as "Blue Jeans Cop". But the most interesting thing is that the title of the first Harry Potter film translates as "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone".
April 12, 2002, 12:28 a.m. CST
According to the staff at my local Barnes and Noble, HP5: OotP is slated for middle-summer or early fall. As to who can play Mad-eye Moody, Peter Sellers is a good choice, other than him, and since it's got to be a Brit... Tom Baker, aka the Fourth Doctor Who might not be a bad choice either. He can easily do the "dark side" easily. As for Barty Crouch (the son), I'd go with another actor that I've seen from Doctor Who, Mark Strickson, though I think he might be too old, IIRC, Barty is in his early 30's or so.... Plenty of casting to go around... Cornelius Fudge for example... I had the actor's name on the tip of my tongue... and I promptly forgot it... Sirius, Lupin, Bagman... oh well, I'll speculate til the cows come home!
April 12, 2002, 1:18 a.m. CST
im a harry potter fan myself and i get board and surf the movie sites. well i hate to say it but moaning myrtle is being paid by like a 30 year old. www.imdb.com if you look at the cast list for CoS and click on the person playing moaning myrtal and then picture gallerys you will see that she dose kinda of fit the discription but other then being really old compaired to the charactor shes playing. i swear i saw her in a movie mad in the late 70's
April 12, 2002, 3:57 a.m. CST
April 12, 2002, 5:49 a.m. CST
by Buck Teeth Soh
No other choice makes sense oh and DrKodos - so getting kids off nintendo long enough to read a book and use their imaginations is "A conspiracy to foist banality on the cookie cutter masses". You said it yourself, you're an idiot.
April 12, 2002, 12:40 p.m. CST
Am I the only one amused that a british book/film is accused of being "american"?
April 12, 2002, 1:28 p.m. CST
The description sounds much more like Penelope Clearwater.
April 12, 2002, 4:46 p.m. CST
by Dr. Sid Schaefer
I remember seeing a poster years ago for the film "Heaven Help Us", which was called "Tutti Frutti" in France. God knows why.
April 12, 2002, 6:33 p.m. CST
so i doubt he could really play mad eye moody. professor lupin i think should be soemone like tim roth, although replacing the guns with a wand and using spells instead of expletives. barty crouch should be played by simon callow, he a fantastic actor and the potter films were made for him. ben kingsley i reckon should play he who must not be named at the end of the fourth one. yep. as for fudge i reckon terry jones
April 12, 2002, 9:29 p.m. CST
I'm not really familiar with all too many British actors, so I can't give a really good opinion here. But I think that they should keep the guy who's doing Voldemort for all the movies. I can't remember the actors name, but I absolutely LOVED him in the 13th Warrior.
April 12, 2002, 11:26 p.m. CST
Well, I am American. And I don't take offense to the 'dumbing down' of products sold to Americans. Because really, it isn't dumbing it down. It is changing the title so that is better fits our culture. I supose you could say it is like the Webster dictionary. This guy named Webster went out after we kicked Birtan's ass after our fight for independence and made a dictionary that was very different from Brit's dictionary. He changed spellings (that's why it's 'color' not 'colour') and things like that. He Americanized the English language... just like publishers did with Harry Potter. And to be honest, many Americans don't know the legend of the philosipher's stone (I know that's spelled wrong... but please excuse me; I'm American) Secondly, a lot of Americans are 'dumb' and do need things 'dumbed' down for them. I mean, look at our test scores! The only thing that makes Americans special is their money. And we only got that because we were/are allowed to think freely. So I'm glad they changed the title of the first book. I probably wouldnt have read it if it was titled 'Harry Potter and the Philosiphor's Stone' because I would have thought it had to do with some ancient guy who was really smart and made some breakthough in the musings of language. And well.. who really wants to read a book about that?
April 13, 2002, 12:31 a.m. CST
I was thinking that since as another talk-backer pointed out, Peter Sellers is pretty DEAD, Eric Idle wouldn't be a bad choice for Mad-Eye Moody... dunno how well Idle handles being a bad-ass like Moody, but it might be interesting. For Lupin, hr might be too old, but Jeremy Irons might not be a bad choice.
April 13, 2002, 7:10 a.m. CST
I am British, Americans shouldn't feel bad about the change of name from Philosopher's Stone to Sorcerors Stone. British Broadcasters treat British people as if they were stupid just like American Broadcasters. SMALLVILLE was remamed SMALLVILLE:THE EARLY ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN (or something like that) LOUIS AND CLARK became THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN. TOPCAT was renamed BOSSCAT (the name TOPCAT was already being used by a cat food maker) The BBC renamed TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES because they thought NINJA was too violent to TEENAGE MUTANT HERO TURTLES. However when the movie was released in the UK they used the original title.
April 13, 2002, 3:44 p.m. CST
Lupin has to be someone who looks about the same age as Alan Rickman so NOT Ewan McGregor as has been rumoured even though the Star Wars trailers show that hes quite good at playing older than his years he's young enough to be Rickman's son. I was thinking perhaps Sam Neill even though he isnt British, and Gabriel Byrne as Sirius Black. Fudge should be Ronnie Barker (even though he's retired.) Mad Eye Moody, I confes I'm stuck. Perhaps Billy Connolly or Malcolm McDowell. Damian Lewis should be one of the adult Weasley brothers.
April 13, 2002, 3:47 p.m. CST
Ben Kingsley should be Mad Eye Moody and Simon Callow should be Fudge. Disregard my earlier suggestions. I liked the idea about a Tintin movie but Brian Blessed would have to be Captain Haddock (hed have been a good Hagrid, actually)
April 13, 2002, 7:06 p.m. CST
Once again i must, like one talkbacker from above, must quote the french. Its not a major film but that doesnt stop the changing of the title of 'The Horse Whisperer' being amusingly long. Try 'Le homme qui parle dans les orreilles des cheveaux' or 'The man who talks in the ears of horses'. B-Zar.
April 14, 2002, 6:16 a.m. CST
In Germany (where else) Welles' A Touch Of Evil became 'In Der Reich Des Bosens' - In The Realm of Evil, so , no real re-interpretation there, then...
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