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One of the signs of the Apocalypse.... Joe Hallenbeck Reviews.... SCOOBY DOO!

Published at:  Mar 25, 2002 2:14:55 AM CST

Hey folks, Harry here... The first sign of the apocalypse was Opie's Purty Noggin' winning Best Picture, now the once mighty Joe Hallenbeck likes SCOOBY DOO! Oh, and there was that EASY RIDER Diet Pepsi ad... This night we've collectively taken 3 big steps towards the end of existence. Yee hawwww, we'z all gonna dieeeeee.... Here's the neutered Joe Hallenbeck....




During the course of my life four works defined who and what I am as a
person. These four works were dream projects of mine - dreams that I'm
quite sure are shared with thousands like me. The four projects had
never been filmed until recently. Three of these films already came out.
The first was Dr. Seuss' Masterpiece HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS.
This was and STILL is a tale that can melt even my heart of ice. I had
always dreamed of making a feature film version of this story. Alas,
Opie and Company beat me to it. The result was a successful wretched
piece of shit that made me want to take my bat out on Ron and make him
meet Aunt Bee in the great Mayberry in the sky. However, I told myself
that this was the man responsible for NIGHT SHIFT, SPLASH, GUNG HO,
WILLOW and PARENTHOOD, so instead I turned my aggressions on some
Scientologist I met on an airplane . . .

The second of these films I dreamed of making was X-MEN. I was surprised
Bryan Singer didn't fuck this puppy up. I was scared to death that he
would „Schumacher" it up, but thankfully he didn‚t. I only hope that
with the next film he'll have a bigger budget and a longer running time
to fully flesh out all the intricacies of our favorite mutants.

The third "dream" film was none other than LORD OF THE RINGS. We all
know how that turned out so I won't even bother to bore you with my
mountains of praise.

The fourth and final film that I have always wanted to make was more
precious to me than those previous three stories combined. Being born on
All Hallow's Eve, I have always had a penchant for the macabre and
grotesque. One slightly macabre character in particular has always been
near and dear to my heart.

Everyday as a kid I drank out of this cheap plastic cup that had him and
his pals' pictures grafted on it. It wasn't until the cup was so badly
chipped and worn out from excessive use that my Grandmother had to toss
it out. If it were still in good shape I'd be drinking out of it right
now. Remnants of this character can be found throughout my domicile. And
yes, my lil fan-bitches, I even wear a watch that bears his goofy mug.

Who is this kooky, macabre character I write of? Well, it's none other
than SCOOBY DOO.

I'm telling you all this so you can see where I'm coming from. Prior to
this screening the buzz about the net has been nothing short of abysmal.
Both Harry and Moriarty have been feuding with gang of Doo over this
production for a year now. Everything up to this point has made me
believe that this flick was going to be the worst piece of shit since
TPM. Hell, even after watching the trailer this past Friday I told
myself that this movie was going to blow worse than a razor toothed
Tijuana whore. I even wrote up a preliminary review of this film that
included terms like ass-spelunking, intern fucking, and comparisons to
9/11. Before going into this screening I had my claws extended -
Wolverine style - ready to slice the fuck out of director Raja Gosnell
and Company. I SO wanted to write a review that would outrage every man,
woman, child and beast that walks, has ever walked and will ever walk
the face of this earth. Hell, I wanted to write up something so
repulsive that it would even make Larry Flynt blush!

BUT I CAN'T!!! I CAN'T, GODDAMN IT, I CAN'T!!!

I wept for hours on end after seeing this movie. I built myself up so
much over the prospects of this movie being nothing but HORRENDOUS. The
idea of this movie being decent seemed as far-fetched as me going down
on Rosie O'Donnell during a sweltering hot August day in the San
Fernando Valley!

I have been defeated. I fall to my knees and weep! All my expectations
have been shot to HELL! You have no idea how frustrating it is for ME,
THE MIGHTY JOE HALLENBECK, to swallow my own words, admit defeat and say
that SCOOBY DOO wasn't all that bad.

There - I said it! Print that up and post it on your Office Walls, you
Warner Bros. Fuckers! I hate you for disappointing me like this! How can
you actually make a good movie about Scooby Doo? How? Did you actually
watch the cartoons? You must have! Did you do some fan research about
what we have loved and hated about the Doo? You had to have! You
bastards actually did something right for a change. I'm baffled beyond
all belief. Have aliens come down, replaced your brains and taken away
the blowjob-receiving, coke-snortin', Spago-eatin' business grads that
usually make important decisions at the Studio and replaced them with
film and TV-literate fanboys who actually know what the fuck they are
doing and know how to treat the original material with a certain degree
of respect and confidence?!

YOU FUCKS! YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! I want to lay waste to you but I can't
because you have actually done something right for a change! YOU
DICKS!!!!! I FUCKIN‚ HATE YOU!!!

FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

I don't have the will power to delve into the usual review I write. I'm
just so goddamn angry with these fuckers for making a decent movie that
I honestly don't know what to write, so here goes. . .

Scooby and Shaggy are downright awesome! I never hated the idea of
Matthew Lillard as Shaggy, but I was never sold on it. . .until now. His
Shaggy is so dead on perfect it's scary. Harry. . .Moriarty. . .or any
of you other fucks out there who beg to differ I'll have to beat you
with my Hallen-Bat?.

Velma. . .just come out already. They hinted upon her desires for the
same sex, but toned it down from the initial screening that took place
up in Sacramento a few weeks back. What was left in the movie are some
great laughs for adults and fans alike, but not as many as I had hoped.
Linda Cardellini really needs to be spanked . . .badly! Boy, would I
love to put a glaze on those glasses!

Fred - for those of you who think that George W. or Michael Bay are the
anti-Christ I'd say think again. Freddie Prinze Jr. has them beat by a
mile. How someone with absolutely no talent whatsoever rises through the
ranks of the Hollywood Regime is beyond me (then again, look at Keanu).
Is it his smarmy looks, his 3-inch dick or his uncanny knack of
delivering a line with complete incompetence? Whatever the reason I do
have to say that casting him in the role of Fred isn't as bad as I
expected. As portrayed in the film, Fred is an empty-headed, egotistical
pompous ass who wears tight pants and an ascot. You add in talentless
hack and you've got Junior to a "T!" Now, this is not to say that Junior
is great in the film. Far from it. I've seen better comic timing on a
Jerry Lewis telethon . . . and I'm talking about one of those kids they
feature every 20 minutes! Advice to Junior - retire, bang the shit out
of Buffy, mooch off her residuals and leave the acting to people who can
actually deliver a line without sounding like a Mongoloid on Quaaludes!

Daphne - I want to bite your ass. That's all.

The overall plot - its fuckin' Scooby Doo! As long as you have Shaggy
pot jokes, Scooby acting like a pussy and Velma taking her top off I
don't give a rat's ass what the fuck the plot is.

Oh, and one more thing - That cancer upon the Hanna/Barbera legacy,
SCRAPPY DOO, GETS HIS COMEUPPANCE! That's all I'm going to say about
that!

Understand one thing - this is NOT a great movie. However, it's not the
wretched piece of shit you are all expecting. It's an amiable piece of
fluff entertainment that will please fans and entertain the kiddies. My
only advice to those putting the finishing touches on the flick is this:

1. If David Newman is doing the score have him heavily borrow
elements of Hoyt Curtain's masterful tunes.

2. Put ALL of the Velma-lesbo stuff back in. Adults will love it. And
besides. . . kids won't get it anyway.

3. Take out that stupid fuckin reggae version of the Doo theme in the
beginning and put back the original!

One more thing - ATTENTION ASSHOLES AT WARNER HOME VIDEO:

RELEASE THE ENTIRE COLLECTION OF DOO EPISODES IN AN AWESOME 3 DVD SET!
Don't you think it's about time?

Email nude drawings of Velma and Scooby-Dum to:

Matt Lillard, PayPal my payola by clicking here!

T.T.F.N.,

Joe Hallenbeck



    + Expand All

    Readers Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 2:40:51 AM CST

    Man...

    by kid_ego

    I still think this is gonna suck balls.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 3:55:20 AM CST

    Geez....

    by kid_ego

    still no talkbacks on this? I can't believe Opie beat out LOTR on all that...guess that's what he gets for blowing all those judges...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Right . . . whatever you say dude.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 6:27:52 AM CST

    How the mighty have fallen...

    by mcgooo

    Seriously, though. Had this been anyone else's report, I would have to question the validity of it. I still think there's a twisted cry for help within it, though. SMG; no explanation required, but Lillard as Shaggy was dead on perfect?!! Freddy looks like a cocker spaniel!Granted its Linda Cardellini underneath, but Velma as a sex object?!! Christ on crutches! I expected to lump this into the "bad-movies-I'll-never-ever-watch" pile like The Flintstones. I can't believe this, but I'm actually waiting to see this now. It feels sort of like slowing down to look at a car accident, just plain wrong! Hallenbeck, buddy, I'm starting to think an intervention is in order here. PS - I'm still pissed you ruined the end of LA Confidential for me! ; ) Ciao for now.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Yup. There's one for the one-sheet.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 7:36:11 AM CST

    And the Oscar for angriest review goes to .....

    by dalius

  • So instead of Freddie Preutzel 2, get someone who won't drool on the expensive costumes.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 8:00:14 AM CST

    You must think us ALL as vacant as GW Bush..

    by vonspark

    ..if you expect us, Hellen, to believe that an individual capable of that amount of profane spew could possibly hold an opinion that mattered.---------------------------------Perhaps, some folks will believe that this review is somehow insightful or amusing(and early on you seem to stand alone in that regard). Please do not confuse those virtues with histrionic meandering which limits whatever "shock value" you intended. The reason this review falls flat isn't because of it's opinion but rather it's insidious self-congratulatory tone. ----------------------------------No suprise that a review for a movie based on what we all know is WEAK source material to begin with should be conducted in the most banal, even agressively offesive manner. I've nothing against profanity; I drop 50 f-bombs every day.---------------------------------But if your intent was to get people to actually want to see this money-making machine and climb into the lap with you and dance, you missed by a wide marigin.-------------------------------- Instead, I will be gladdened that my original assessment IS correct: only a foolish, middle-american (so stuck on themselves they actually THINK they aren't) cow with no intellectual curiousity or orignality would like this mid-talent showcase.---------------------------------

    Reply to Talkback

  • Hallenbeck has gone bye bye, ladies and gentlemen. Now what do we do? Revolution is my name.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 9:28:45 AM CST

    Yep, it's TEOTWAWKI.

    by wardog

    Somehow WB synthesized the endorphins peculiar to Joe's brain from enjoying Scooby Doo as a child and infused this movie with it. Eeeuuuwww. I am SO GLAD I wasn't growing up when that cartoon was popular, I might have had it warp my widdle mind too. Of course, if Sarah Michelle Gellar gets nekkid in this, even just topless, I might go see it. Oh hell, I'll just wait and rent the DVD, go to the topless part and mute it. No point in subjecting myself to more utter stupidity.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 9:34:53 AM CST

    Wow, calling Ron Howard "Opie," how original and fresh!

    by sanc_reunion

    Since that 'joke' is about 20 years old now, can't you at least start calling him Richie Cunningham when you feel like being 'clever'?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 10:09:49 AM CST

    "It's an amiable piece of fluff entertainment that will plea

    by cosmo politan

    All of you fags and feminazis here please just repeat that to yourselves over and over and over and over until you get it through your thick skulls. And for anyone with the audacity to think they are the arbiters of high art, let me just remind you that you're not reading a book, or watching a play, or IFM, you're posting to this site which tells anyone all he/she needs to know about you.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 10:19:42 AM CST

    no subject

    by leescoresby

    "I even wrote up a preliminary review of this film"......................You know, that pretty much hits the bullseye for me. The people writing reviews for these movies seem to spend more time coming up with pithy quips and hyperbole than they do thinking about the film they've seen. This review could have talked about a lot of things...the sets..the script..some choice humor...the CGI on Scoobs...Rowan Atkinson as the baddie...all interesting to read opinions on. Without any sort of introspection or analysis (and yes, I know it's Scooby Doo. No analysis required...but the point is still valid) we have empty fluff articles that spray obsenity and leave you less intelligent than you were before.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 10:47:21 AM CST

    I don't know that "wasn't all that bad" is glowing prais

    by darth tj mackey

    As for Howard and ABM, one of the funnier things I've seen lately in TBs was the poster who proposed a sure-fire Oscar winner about a unit of mentally disabled soldiers in WWII...covering all the bases...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 11:20:36 AM CST

    Hmmmmm

    by kid ab

    I think John needs some ganga. That's all.

    Reply to Talkback

  • That's one of my top 3 all-time favourite SOUTH PARK episodes, the other two being the musical "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" (with the dead-star-studded "Christmastime in Hell" and Mr. Garrison's insensitive "Merry Fucking Christmas") and "Chinpokumon", both of which are already available on DVD. ____________________________ As for SCOOBY DOO on DVD, I presume that by 3 DVDs, you're just talking about the original, Scrappy-less, SCOOBY DOO, WHERE ARE YOU? What about some of the other DOOs of our childhoods, like Celebrity SCOOBY DOO and 13 GHOSTS OF SCOOBY DOO (with the voice of Vincent Price as "Vincent VanGhoul" and the two token Hispanic kids)? I'm prepared to watch the movie with an open mind; what I'm curious about is how they made Australia look like America, or was it all shot on sets?

    Reply to Talkback

  • I wonder why Kevin Smith cut out "Scooby's" erection? The MPAA sure are wussy sometimes...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 12:23:16 PM CST

    Ranks Roe ror rhe reat review! Runt a rooby rack?

    by regis travolta

    Roe is right! Ry rovie is really rood! Reveryrone rill rove it! Ry Roscar for rext rear rive it to me row! Ri reserve rone!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 1:11:42 PM CST

    Boy, it apparently doesn't take much to be a reviewer for AI

    by jettison

    Here's Joe Hallenbeck's rules to writing reviews:
    (1) Swear - it will absolutely make you sound cool, without exception ever. People will read in awe wishing they could form those words too (2) Write lots and lots and lots of words, because more is more. (3) Write as if every sentence is a headline all by itself. You don't need supporting statements. People will accept your opinion ergardless because you can swear so much.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 1:23:34 PM CST

    Enigma... Scrappy is "ethnic"?

    by kiyone

    How so? He never struck me as particularly ethnic; I always, even when I was a little kid, thought of Scrappy as the SCOOBY DOO version of Robin from the MUPPET SHOW, who was like a younger version of Kermit, probably to appeal to... eh, exactly to which demographic are Scrappy and Robin meant to appeal? If Scrappy is "Ethnic", what ethnic group is he? What about Scooby Dumb (Scooby Doo's pale cousin)? And even if I accepted the premise that Scrappy is ethnic, he wouldn't be the only ethnic character on the show... I already mentioned the two token Hispanic kids on 13 GOSTS OF SCOOBY DOO; let's see, there were also the Harlem Globetrotters on one episode and, umm... uh... Well, at least Scooby was actually created by Iwao Takamoto, a Japanese-American, and Shaggy was voiced (originally) by Casey Kasem, an Arab-American, so the show was never quite as lily white as it first appears.

    Reply to Talkback

  • I'd me mighty pissed if Scrappy appeared but Scooby Dumb didn't have at least a tiny cameo.

    Reply to Talkback

  • http://www.yoinks.com/friends.htm

    I think most of these characters must have appeared in the lamer SCOOBY DOO series... oh pardon me, I hit the M key when I meant to hit the T key to spell "later".

    Reply to Talkback

  • Oy Whitehater. What the fuck do you mean that Scrappy Doo was meant to be an ethnic representation? And if you hate him it must be because I'm whitetrash?? WTF? Its a fucking dog!! Is that your positive role model in Scooby Doo? Well it explains why you turned out the defective Murfur you are! Fuckin Ethnic my arse

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 4:07:11 PM CST

    So, uh, what day in August, is your date with Rosie O'Donnel

    by kodiak_j

    HAAA! Poor Schmuck. Just down a tube of Ambisol and go for it. Loser....

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 5:40:53 PM CST

    cursing

    by someoneelse

    it is hard to believe that someone can post an article on here laden with curse words and bad jokes,spending the first part only talking about how they feel and then giving no semblence of a review,we don't get to see the rough cuts ,we can't even see the finished project until it is out.all you did was curse and promote yourself with very little unbiased input on the movie it self,next time just title the article "my thoughts" in stead of movie review

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 7:12:22 PM CST

    Gee, that's funny....

    by skinny bastard

    ... that review dropped more F-bombs than any Outlaw Vern contribution, and yet everyone always calls his conversational tone 'profane.'

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 8:35:12 PM CST

    All confused now.....

    by savinifan77

    Well, now I don't know how I feel about this film....was so positive it was going to be like sucking down rancid monkey turds...but now not so sure. Oh well, at least I can feel happy about WETA winning best a best Makeup oscar last night for LOTR....

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 9:15:29 PM CST

    Again With The Cunnilingus!

    by jollydwarf

    Now, within a matter of days, I have been tainted and traumatized with images of "Hairy" Knowles lappin' away, and a sweaty, stank-ee Rosie O'Fat digging her sausage-plump fingers into the back of an AICN reviewer who is being forced to wear a Madonna mid-nineties boustierre while spelling "T-O-M-C-R-U-I-S-E" with his tongue. Alright, alright! I went too far!! But (blee-ah!) you get the idea. All I's cans says is this: you knew that after the deification here of Wesley and Guillermo last week, that "Blade II" could only be perceived as a letdown by most people. And after months and months and MONTHS of ceaseless bashing of this film, you know that it's going to get a lot of "it ain't so bad" 'reviews'. C'mon, you see Velma and Daphne in the flesh and M-Lil as Shaggy is actually great...you know you're going to be weak. I assure you that Freddie Prinze Jr and a shitty script alone will not be enough to tip the scales towards the 'Con' side. Actually, I see most people rushing to a mixed-feelings judgement because they don't have the patience to wait for the scale to stop teetering. And this is one of those films that can play the "It's Supposed To Be Bad/Schlocky/Campy/Chee-zee/Lowbrow" card ANY FUCKING TIME IT WANTS. I don't condone that behavior, but I can't deny that it's a losing battle to try to fight in, especially here. So, kids, what I'm saying is, get ready for the Equivocation Nation this summer, as Harry and Friends try to pick 'n' pan this film and others simultaneously. "ROINKS, RAGGY!! RARRY RACTUALLY DOESN'T RATE ROOBY-ROO!" Feel free to use the previous review title.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 9:49:53 PM CST

    Shut up, Joe

    by fd resurrected

    Go away, you dickwad. I thought I was going to read an insightful review, but as predictably you went into screaming rants with "Fuck, fuck fuckity, fuck me, fuck you". What the hell is this Scooby-Doo review all about, you admit it's mediocre? You're trying desperately to grab attention by going overboard as if you think it's funny. It's like watching a Paul Thomas Anderson movie or a bad Martin Lawrence movie, only without a purpose or point of what the hell the film's all about. Get your points straighten up. If you don't like TPM, which you take way too personally (I don't, though it's still a piece of shit - nothing to go raving mad about that) then you're outta your mind. See what films are: MOVIES. AICN is all about discussing movies, be it debate and ripping and praising and shilling. You praised one of the greatest overbudgeted and lowest common denominator piece of shit films churned out by Hollywood: ARMAGEDDON. Which you sung so much praise about I suspect you were given either free escort service provided by Disney PR with a half dozen babes to make a porn video or a blowjob from Michael Bay in exchange for shilling his wretched excess. Oh, I'm sorry to hear ya got busted by MPAA cracking down on piracy - try your luck bootlegging more shitty work prints like Mighty Joe Dong, you wanker. If you're so fucking smart, dissing movies that you think are bad (and Armageddon isn't one of them), then why don't you go make an independent movie and see if your talent is up on par with established writers and directors who CLEARLY know how to make movies, even marginal piece of shites. Let's join Vincent Gallo's coke-and-vodka party for a circle jerk to see who gets to make whining self-indulgent movies. Flip off, you melonfarming dorkwad!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 25, 2002 10:24:13 PM CST

    The real Hallenbeck is still in prison

    by nflrefugee

    Though everyone at AICN will deny that.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 12:37:53 AM CST

    Well. Now that we got that out of the way...

    by heywood jablomie

    .....solving world hunger should be a snap.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 2:35:06 AM CST

    F**K This Review.

    by redfive

    1st of all it doesnt take a genius to get shaggy down perfect.Friends of mine have been doing shaggy and scooby for years and have more talent in there left nut sack then the whole scooby gang in the flick.2nd of all scooby doo looks like a CGI dog=nothing more.3rd FRJ and Buffy are the worst possible ideas sinse walkie talkies in the new ET {which just came out}.Who cares if those scream kids got the scooby gang down perfect,like the rest of us im sure they've seen every episode 100,000,000 times over.It doesnt take talent.The only way any of us want scooby doo to be good is if they scap the movie and put actors who actually look like the gang in the cartoon and maybe most of us would forgive the oooh so lame WB.F*ck the WB and the scooby movie,i wouldnt go see it for free.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 11:52:19 AM CST

    FUCK ALL YOU TALK BAKERS

    by golden

    Why cant any of you fuckers accept a review when you see it?! NO.............INSTEAD you all hassel Mr. Joe and pretend he is in prison. Or dead. Or an Alien--he can no way be the author of this review. Well GUESS WHAT- He was and he liked it!!!!!!!!!!!! All you pussies just want to hear a bad review for this movie and cant accept that it might be good! If he thought this movie was crap you would've praised him like hell.o suck it up and be the geeks you are!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 12:42:02 PM CST

    A tempest in a teapot

    by mickfinn

    You know, if we could channel all this hostility and rage into an aenrgy source, we wouldn' t have to rely on fossil fuels, folks.
    it's been said before and I'll say it again-LIGHTEN UP! it's a goddamned kids' film. A blip on the pop culture radar that you people are paying too much attention to. Christ, when a race war erupts over Scrappy-Doo's ethnicity, then I think it's time we pulled back for a little perspective, don't you?Don't like it? don't see it. Apparently, Hallenbeck did and now you guys act as if he's betrayed you.
    "He's sold out", "Warners paid him off"... is it possible that a positive review means just that. Seems the only criticism among the cerebrally challenged troglodytes on this site is negative criticism.
    "We all KNOW it's gonna suck?" Please, then, share your gifts of precognition with the rest of the world. NOBODY knows if this movie is going to suck, not you, not HArry, not Drew! Joe's seen it, he put in his two cents' worth and that's much more than you armchair critics have in your ammo clip. When the hell did fandom become so un-fun?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 2:58:10 PM CST

    RE: YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTARD!!!

    by mrmaxx

    "... but your still a complete bastard"
    English 101: "you're" or "you are", not "your"

    Since you don't even have a clue as to what sort of reference he might have made... your (correct usage you'll notice) comments are a little off.

    Good review... I was completely expecting the movie to blow chunks. Now I at least think it will only suck.

    "Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck"
    What a great line....

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 3:25:01 PM CST

    Harry is Halenbeck

    by zubalove

    This was kicked around a few years ago and it made sense to me. Halenbeck is a persona Harry uses to either bash movies that he has already given glowing fanboy reviews for, or he uses it to bless a movie that he's been crapping on since before it went into preproduction, such as this one. See you all in hell.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 26, 2002 5:34:02 PM CST

    Down with Lillard!

    by calvinthefish

    Check this! Lillard roasts Harry! What is up with that? http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/art-film.html?2001-08/17/12.00.film

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 27, 2002 1:50:19 AM CST

    Hallenback Licks Scooby's Nuts!!!!

    by sir mo

    It is true! You must have been turned on by the Great Dane's ding dong in the Jay & Silent Bob DVD cut scenes in order to give it such a one sided review.
    Have fun going down on the "Dutchess of Dykeness", Rosie O'Donnell.
    Later, Fatty.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 27, 2002 5:42:05 AM CST

    hooray for Scooby and his funny friends!!!

    by winky

    This sounds like so much fun for everyone who likes a good, funny movie to enjoy with there kids. I don'y like the filthy language but Im happy that the reveiwer liked the film so much! Why everyone is always so negitive is beyond me. Enjoy life, kids, its too short by a long shot. At last a film that I and other parents like me can take our kids to enjoy! and we can BOTH enjoy it! Now theres 2 movies for us all to be excited about, right, gang? Star Wars and Scooby Doo! Hooray for George Lucas, the king of Hollywood! and Scooby Doo too! PS. I heard a rumor that Insync was going to be in Scooby Doo too is that correct? Just like in the Star Wars? I hope so. There the greatest!!!! Please write and say if you know.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 27, 2002 6:13:41 PM CST

    Fuckity?

    by dukewallymondo

    I thought I was the only one who used the term "Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck"!!! This makes me have to rethink my proper place in the universal scheme of things.

    And, HEY, Velma takes her top off?!?!?! I always wish she had done that in the cartoon, y'know? She struck me as someone who would be naturally busty. Inhale...Exhale...That's nice.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Mar 27, 2002 9:14:41 PM CST

    HEY SCOOBY!

    by tomvee

    Sleazy G, you might be wrong. The BRADY BUNCH movies put a modest, adult-oriented satirical spin on the TV series and it worked very well. There's no saying the same thing might not work with SCOOBY, although this is a movie I will never ever see. I somehow cannot believe it will be any better than the SCOOBY sequence in JAY AND SILENT BOB. That was perfection!

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  • Apr 07, 2002 10:13:41 AM CDT

    The king is dead

    by chuck palahniuk

    Joe what happened to the guy who showed me a way to love Urban Legend by reviling it? Oh, and your B-Day revelation finally gave yourself away -- Peter Jackson! And all you 15 year old newcomers to the site get off the legendary Joe's back.

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