Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

Heh heh heh... I knew I could smoke him out. Yesterday, I ran a tip from a reader that said Frankie Muniz might be playing the lead in Patrick Read Johnson's upcoming comedy 5-25-77. The scooper said Johnson wanted Muniz, and that several other roles had been cast. And then tonight... whattaya know? PRJ shows up in our chat room, looking for me, joking about wanting to kick my ass.

At least... I think he was joking. At any rate, he once again refused to tell me who is playing the lead in his film, but he sent along the following e-mail for you guys that clarifies a few other things about who Patrick is and what film he's making. I root for Patrick because he is a Hollywood survivor. He's been burned on things he really cared about. He's made a few films he's proud of. He's pretty much had every experience a writer and director can have in this town except seeing something personal really connect with a mainstream audience. 5-25-77 could change that. It's a sweet script with a big heart, and it's interesting to me to see a Hollywood survivor who is still so in touch with what it was that first made him want to make movies. You can take shots at his resume all day long from the safety and the anonymity of the Talk Backs, but Pat's still in there, still writing things he cares about, still fighting every day to make a film he loves. If you can't be optimistic about a guy like that, then I give up on you. Besides... I don't need to defend PRJ. He does just fine on his own in this letter to AICN:

Okay... Before this gets out of hand.

I can neither confirm nor deny the identity of my LEAD for this film at this time.

Well... I COULD... but it's more fun to drive Moriarty crazy.

I CAN confirm...

Carrie Fisher as Janet...

Joe Pantoliano as Dr. Johnson...

Christopher Lloyd as the owner of the Genesee Theater...

Bob Balaban as Herb Lightman, Editor of American Cinematographer Magazine...

And Sara Tanaka as Linda Augustyniak...

There are a bunch of other cameos, most of which will be confirmed in the next month or so... Though 2 or 3 of them will NEVER be confirmed. They'll just... be there...

What else... hmmm....

Alan Parsons will be doing the original score.

John Knoll will help out with FX...

Now, for those of you who haven't cared much for my previous films... There's probably not much I can do to change your mind about me other than to try to do better next time. Films are alchemical creations. Rarely do they turn out exactly as you envisioned them. The reasons that some films work and others just plain don't are far too many and far too complex to go into in a post.

But if you choose to believe that, in every case, the fish stinks from the head, you probably haven't seen much more of a real motion picture production than the heavily edited, studio approved "behind the scenes" looks delivered by Entertainment Tonight. The writer is not always the writer. The director is not always the director... And even when they really ARE allowed to do their jobs... There are countless agendas and countervailing forces threatening to rip a project to pieces throughout its birthing process. In order to save one aspect of a picture, one sometimes has to kill another... It's an exhausting sometimes heartbreaking struggle that's as close to all out hand to hand combat as I ever want to get.

Dragonheart is a heartbreaker for me... If you want to know why... go to Moonwatcher.com, click on FILMS and then click on DRAGONHEART... There's an old story from Sci-Fi Universe magazine that tells THAT sordid tale better than I can muster up the strength for now.

Baby's Day Out? Not really my film. The result of what happens when a very talented writer/director (John Hughes) is too busy to direct a film he really wants to direct. So instead takes on the positions that would typically be directly above and below the director in the normal film food chain. Specifically Producer and Writer. Only when it's John... Those positions are most definitely BOTH ABOVE the director. The result is a film made by two directors trying to be really nice to each other while fighting over one movie. A mistake. Compounded by 20th Century Fox actually believing they could rush Baby's Day Out through post-production in half the time it was scheduled to have in order fill the gaping hole in the studio's summer release schedule when it was learned that TRUE LIES would not be READY to fill those THOUSANDS of theaters that Fox had booked to compete on opening day against THE LION KING.

Was any of it my fault? You bet. Not a scene goes by in that movie where I don't wish I'd spent more time turning up the speed control on the PACING... I was so wrapped up in just getting the babies to do THEIR THING, the rest of the film was more the result of hurried attempts to get SOME kind of coverage with what was left of each working day. Still I shot the script I was required to shoot. I TRIED to put some genuine laughs in places there had been few before. Sometimes the material failed me... Sometimes I failed the material. It happens.

For those of you who hated Spaced Invaders... I'm sorry... I did the best I could with 1.75 million dollars in 30 days. It's very easy to attack someone's flawed, but earnest, work from the other side of the screen. But you're not just attacking MY work on the film, you're also attacking the blood sweat and tears of hundreds of other young people who banded together to do the best THEY could do with 1.75 million bucks in 30 days. People like John Knoll, Sanja Hays, Ariana Richards, Jim Carter, Kenny Myers, Scott Lawrence Alexander, Greg Aronowitz, John Criswell. None of us had ever previoulsy held the jobs we took on for this film. We were all first-timers in our new upgraded positions. Was what we did with that money and time brilliant? No way. Was it art? Not a chance. Was it funny? Sporadically. Was it too long? Absolutely. Was it profitable? It made 1000 percent of it's money back. Why? Because some people... just enjoyed it for what it was. Others hated it. I landed somewhere in the middle... Knowing how much was on the page versus how much we managed to get to the screen... Would I do a thousand things differently if I had a chance to do it over? You bet. Would YOU do a thousand things differently (or better?) if YOU found yourself in exactly the same circumstances with exactly the same cast, crew, and producers? Maybe.

I know I am still sometimes tempted to think I could have done a better job on some project I passed on that another director ended up doing. But the moment passes when I consider my own failings. I would suggest to the harshest of my critics that they sit in the chair at least once before deciding how bad I really am at my job. Now I know there are few EXTREMELY witty and incisive types on these boards who will no doubt take great pleasure in skewering everything I've just said. Good. Go for it. It's guys like you that make guys like me... and others in here... dream of someday rising above the quicksand of quietly raging desperation which our race, as a whole, seems intent on sinking further into with each passing day.

5-25-77 isn't a film about Star Wars. It's a film about a young man who was a lot like many of you... People who dream about what they would do if they got a shot but often think... "Shit, I live in Iowa... A million miles from Hollywood... That's not ever gonna happen."

Well... I lived in Wadsworth, Illinois... Population 750... And I got my shot. What I ended up DOING with it will be judged when I'm DONE doing it. (For some that moment can't come too soon... for others... including many who've actually READ the script for 5-25-77, that moment can wait a bit longer.

If any of YOU would care to read the script, to form an opinion based on awareness... Feel free to e-mail me. And I'll make sure you get a copy.

Good luck to us all.

Indeed, Patrick. And I'd advise any of you who are interested to take him up on his offer. It's a good read.

"Moriarty" out.