Cool News
King Conan... Arnold, and True Lies
Well Father Geek's mailbox was flooded with Schwarzenegger info this morning, much of it useless repetition of previous AICN stories, but I decided to post these bits just to confirm some of what we've been saying for quite sometime now on the site. I've read the King Conan script and am very excited about the prospects, just hope they don't cut his (Conan's) balls off in the drawnout development process... Careful boys! Those are fragile jewels you're holding in your hands!
Call me Egoiste if you use my name, but IMDB has posted the following in
their news section:
Arnold Schwarzenegger is returning as Conan
The Barbarian - nearly 20 years after the mystical
warrior's last movie. Arnold broke into Hollywood's big time with 1982's
Conan The Barbarian and its 1984 sequel Conan The Destroyer
- and is now waiting for the script to be finalized for a
third instalment. Writer and film-maker John Milius ,
who directed the first Conan movie, is currently trimming his screenplay
following advice from the Wachowski Brothers, who made The Matrix
.
"I just had a cigar with him the other day,"
Schwarzenegger reveals. "He's rewriting it as we speak, because he has
written it, and it was a 168-page script. One of the Wachowski Brothers
called and told him the script would take too much time and be a
three-and-a-half-hour movie, he should cut it down to 120 pages and take
certain things out. And that's what he's doing right now." Father Geek back... we just received this juicy tidbit here at Geek Headquarters in Austin...
Hey guys, Thomas Chau here from "Cinema Confidential"...
Cindy Pearlman in our "Cin City" column this week talked to Arnold and he talked some about "True Lies 2," indicating that a script was turned in last week.
No lie: The Big Lug is at it again. Arnold Schwarzenegger says that a script was turned in last week for "True Lies II." Details? Schwarzenegger tells this column, "Jim Cameron finished the script a few months ago. But I'm not sure it will shoot this year. I'm going to go away for a long time to do 'Terminator,' and it's not my style to go away again so quickly and do another huge movie. I like to do one movie a year at the most. We'll shoot it next year. We have a good script. There does need to be some changes because it deals with some terrorists act of some sort. But it's pretty much done."
Full article is at: http://www.cinecon.com/news.php3?d=020130&n=1
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Arnold is vom Austria, everybody knows that. Well the point is, I wonder, why is he so popular? His acting is not so good, his dialect is so funny, everybody starts to laugh when he tries to speak English. Do his muscles attract people to go into theaters? I don't think so.....
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Hmmm... a new Arnold movie I might actually want to go see... What are the odds?
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Arnold knows he is yesterday's news just like Stallone so he is desperately trying to regain interest in his career by talking about all of these supposed "great sequels" he is going to be doing of the stuff he is best known for. does anyone even care about True Lies 2?
(although I have to admit, I'd like to see a third Conan film if Milius is directing) -
Am i alone on wanting to see that? Go Pats!!!
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Arnold seems to be competing with himself in a "Most Mediocre Film" contest and the dust is settling on his directorial career. It's been nearly five years since his last effort behind the camera.
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in mentioning the settling dust and the five years and...oh forget it. I'm a dope who can't type. Gimme a Twinkie.
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QUESTION #1. What is wrong with this screenwriter that he doesn't know that a long script equals a long film?? HE'S JUST NOW FIGURING THIS OUT?? *I* don't make movies, and even *I* know that ! Why does this guy need that sort of rookie tip from a Wachowski Brother?
QUESTION #2: Who REALLY believes that Arnold really said the words ' Wachowski Brothers' without stumbling all over them, derailing the interview for at LEAST five minutes? Not I. -
Jan 30, 2002 3:00:42 PM CST
End Of Days was the film that perfectly described the point in w
by kampbell-kid
Times change and so do our films. People like to see a old favorite return for nastalgic reasons, but does it feel the same... for example The Phantom Menace? And WTF? Not to sound whiny but I gotta say this I'm sorry but all this news of Arnold with Terminator 3 and Conan 3, Silvester Stalone going back doing Rocky's and Rambo's again, Spielman doing Indy 4 and starting a Goonies 2 project!?! Are studios that hard up for original scriptment ideas these days? It's cool to see all these characters and stories return but really tho what does this really say? Exception to Spielman, he's always had ups and downs with his films however A.I. and Minority Report both unforunately look like downs. Arnold and Silvester need to just stop, please no more ok, just retire on your dying Planet Hollywood franchise. They even closed down the Planet Hollywood here in Columbus, Oh after only being open less than a year. Both actors action films were just a passing genre phase like Pokemon. A delightful fun film phase we all enjoyed but now outgrown. :)
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I'll be superamalgamated when I do so it.
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I'd like to see a decent Conan sequel, especially after the steaming pile that was The Destroyer.
With Milius directing, a Poledoris score, lush cinematography and brutal violence it could work. This is exactly the right time for epic fantasy revival and film companies are willing to invest big time at the moment. Wait too long and it will be another twenty years before this comes round again. -
I want a long,violent, epic and Kurosawesque movie. This could save American Cinema
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Best damned news about Arnie I've heard in months. Thanks, Father Geek and AICN!
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Jan 30, 2002 3:10:26 PM CST
TL2, in between Eliza Dushku and Arnold blowing shit up, it coul
by shawneous
Think about it guys, a movie that is somehow centered around the fine Eliza and then has her dad coming to shoot people. Plus being done by old Jim Cameron himself, it could one kick ass movie.
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...just a thought,but with all your personal attacks on Arnold and taking the piss out of the way he talks and asking for him to be deported.......isn`t that,well,rascist?
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Fuck What do you do when you have lost all fan appeal? Try and recapture past glory. Heres a list of stop offs on Arnies global nostalgia tour. Predator 3,
T3,T4 Commando 2 (The Return), Running man 2(The Running Man Runs Again),Total recall 2( Total Deja Vu), True Lies 2 (More lies), Eraser 2 (The Big Rubout), Hercules (returns to the Big Apple), Twins 2,
Red Heat (Living in a capitalist Paradise) -
..is that it is a country and that arnold schwarzeneggers home country. michael haneke is from austria too, our only popular(recent)export concerning cinema besides arnold. a very good director, i hope he wont waste his immense talent doing crappy pictures in hollywood (like arnold does now).
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And that's all I have to say about that
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Jan 30, 2002 3:43:23 PM CST
King Conan must be made with the same lust and violence as the o
by hawq
It's about time for some R-rated fantasy sex and violence. They should use the only Conan novel written by Robert E. Howard as the basis for the story, but I doubt that will happen. I can only hope they will capture some of the opulent sensual fantastic artistry that REH portrayed in his Conan stories. We need to see scantily-clad maidens in ancient jungle-ruins, maybe some nasty Pictish ceremonial unholiness would be nice, along with a wicked and malevolent satan-worshipping wizard that summons Lovecraftesque demons, and how about a lot of fucking bloody barbaric war mongering? I want to see bodies being hewn! We need more BLOOD! And lots and lots of NUDITY!! What the fuck is wrong with hollywood these days, anyway??
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Jan 30, 2002 3:52:51 PM CST
Who the f**k are the Wachowskis to tell Milius what to do!
by cash bailey
Screw these anime-plagarising cock-smokers. Start KING CONAN tomorrow!!!
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Hey Mr. Milius- Hire Frank Frazetta as a production design consultant! And while you're up... fix that fucking joke of an audio track on the Conan the Barbarian SE DVD. How stupid is it to have the greatest sountrack ever presented in FUCKING MONO?! All the sound comes through the center channel! The DVD menu music sounds 10 times better than the movie music! WTF???
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Usually, 1 page of script means 1 minute. If it's Millius with heavy fighting, you can expect less than 1 minute for 1 page describing how Conan beheads some badass. And even, a 3h30 Conan would rule. So why dumb it down to a mere 2-hours action blockbuster lame flick :o I mean, do what you want with Matrix, but why come and mess with THAT?
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Arnold is the biggest has-been in tinseltown. His movies over the last ten years have sucked nuts and bringing back stale franchises isn't going to change that. True Lies was interesting (despite Tom Arnold) and Terminator 2 was a classic ONLY because Cameron knows how to stage action sequences. Therefore, True Lies 2 could have promise with Cameron attached, but Terminator 3 is going to be a poo fest and weaken our appreciation of the originals. Bah humbug.
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Hollywood needs some well-oiled writhing harlots...well on screen anyway.
I want to see grand vistas, spired cities, ancient ports, black magic cults, debauchery on an epic scale, warriors weilding unweildy clubs, skimpy metal bikinis, lavish production design, decadence unrivalled.
OK we can get some of that from Gladiator and LOTR...but not enough. -
Jan 30, 2002 5:32:54 PM CST
I'm ready to go see Arnold movies again, but only if they ar
by ralph cifaretto
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the script has to be revised for "terrorist acts"?!! isn't that what the whole concept is about?
he's supposed to work for "omega sector", apparently the country's "last line of defense". i expect they'll release a "special edition" of the first true lies with the terrorists airbrushed out!!
is it really worth bothering! -
Or was that Hicks? By the way, if anyone here has not read any Conan stories by Robert E. Howard, get your ass into a used book store right now. They kick serious escapist ass. Don't bother with Conan by any other author.
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Jan 30, 2002 5:52:32 PM CST
:The Sixth Day" was honestly one of the funniest movies I've
by silenceoffreedom
I seriously laughed my ass of at all of his lines. The scenes with TWO Arnolds were just too fucking much for me. Let me know if anyone agrees.
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Wow, another movie to actually be excited about. Everything hints that T3 will suck ass, don't know about True Lies 2 and don't care either, but Conan with the right man in the lead and the right man directing really sounds rather cool.
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However,I did think "The 6th Day" was a disapointment.But still, I would love to see Arnold make a comeback...I'm not joking around here people.The man's still got it!
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A REALLY BIG SWORD FOR CONAN WILL WORK ALSO.
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...he kerschmacked me vun und said, "Be ein man!" I vill be CONAN in ein hardbeedt! Hell, ad dis schtach ob der game, I'd vear der PREDATAH schuit meinschelf! Dis guy, Bozz Mahvreich pitched me ein schtory I'm considuhing (aldo I vowt to nevah vork mit him again aftah oah abohted schitcom AHNIE in vich he vas goink to hab me as ein fomah circhus schtronk man roomink mit ein homosegschul vhile raisink ein broot ob multi-razial kinder) callt JUNIAH PREDATAH abowd der fuhst pregnant male Predatah, playt by me. Zo, as you can zee, KINK CONAN loogs sehr gut to me.
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Jan 30, 2002 6:24:32 PM CST
I Went To Visit Milius To Confirm The Truth Of This Bullshit...
by buzz maverik
"Don't shoot!" "Maverik! Is that you?" "Put the gun down, John." "Ah, I know you, Buzz. I know you. You put your gun down first." "Okay. Let's not even bother with the let's-put-our-guns-down-together crap because we both know that isn't going to happen. Let's keep aiming at each other." "Fair enough. So, Maverik, the rogue warrior returns, eh? What are you after this time, you thieving bastard? My cuban cigars or my Purdy shotguns?" "If I had to pick, I'd take the cigars because Purdys are custom made for each shooter. One day, they will make one for me." "You think you're ready to step into the glory, Buzz?" "Oh, I'm ready. I wanted to ask you about CONAN." "The iron hand that weilded the sword!" "Right. So are you doing it?" "Whatever the Four Winds decree." "I'll take that as a yes. Now, between us, you really didn't need Matrixchowski's to tell you to cut the script, did you, John?" "I can do a great deal with less than nothing." "That's what I figured. Give me a cigar. You realize of course that maybe one person in eighty billion will get this post." "They need to get fired up about something, Buzz." "Right, but I mean they won't know how close to reality this probably is."
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Jan 30, 2002 6:26:20 PM CST
Don't forget, the Wachowskis also did the nearly brilliant B
by lenny nero
That's an awesome movie that shows an incredible understanding of plotting, characterization, and suspense.
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What the hell is that about?? This is John Milius we're talking about here...why would he need help from the Wachowskis? They made a cool movie (movies I hope)and started an already irritating visual effects trend, but no way in hell The Matrix is at the level of the original Conan. I mean come on here..that makes me think the story is a fake. Either that or *rising dread* they are thinking of using a WHOLE shitload of cgi that really doesnt need to be there. PLEASE HOLLYWOOD...PLEASE DONT FUCK THIS UP!! THATS ALL WE ASK...GIVE US THE GLORY THAT IS CONAN!!
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Arnold of all people shouldn't be making a film about the life of Conan O Brian. Who the hells doing the casting? They should be fired
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Jan 30, 2002 8:53:47 PM CST
Attn. Troma Fans - Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger 4! L.A. PREM
by jessie_stvincent
i swear i'm not getting paid my troma to post this - i'm just a fan who wants to let other l.a. fans know about seeing toxie iv on the big screen. i cut and pasted this from http://www.troma.com/news2/appearences/screen/content.html
February 8, 2002
Where: Laemmle's Sunset 5
8000 Sunset Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA
323-848-3500
Flagship University Village 3
3323 S. Hoover,
Los Angeles, CA
213-748-6321
For more info contact andre@troma.com
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You're not alone Boston, I too think this would be cool and it would be good for Belushi to get out of Direct To Video schlock. Think about it now that the Cold War is over Belushi could track a suspect to Russia and get Arnold's help. That'd be great.
Harry Lime: Using the internet as it was originally intended to be used - for the further research of pornography and pipebombs. -
Crom is good.
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...if another actor had been cast
in Arnie's part. No offense to his fans, but he just didn't work
in that movie...at ALL. And is
there a commentary track on a DVD
that is more boring than that on
End of Days? Haven't heard it. -
LOTR had two of those components and hopefully it's success will allow the production execs to give King Conan the go ahead. Every cinema-going American needs to see gore and tits and gory tits - and wouldn't it be great if Arnold gave another performance with very little dialogue and a lot of dismembering and pagan screaming? Having grown up on Conan the Barbarian, I need this now. The Wachowski Bros have no business telling Milius to tighten his script after The Matrix, which was to Bound what Conan the Destroyer was to Conan the Barbarian. I'm not trying to make COB more than it is, but having recently rewatched it I'm surprised at how well it's aged and how fun it is. Milius needs to just go balls out and take Arnold with him into pure Frazetta-visualized insanity. The script reviews a few months back made every old fashioned fanboy do a jaw-drop double-take and the more bits and pieces I hear about how up in the air this project is the more I want this to happen. Say what you will about where Arnold and Milius are now, I still have confidence they can deliver something kick-ass with just enough of a philosophical influence to elevate the material above the usual action tripe. And the less CGI the better - there's nothing wrong with utilizing the still-growing advancements in practical special effects and actually shooting in real locations. That's what's wrong with the Star Wars movies - they just reek of artifice and don't ask me why but I don't want falsity in my fantasy. This could be very good and it should happen.
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I agree strongly with what Hawq and others have said: let's see and R-rated fantasy flick with half-naked slave girls in metal bikinis, demon-summoning mad-wizards and lots o' violence. No apologies. It would be cathartic (ask Aristotle). I think that this is one of the few films left that Arnold could pull off in his old age. After a successful "King Conan", he should quit film-making and go into politics, so as to keep from making more bad movies. King Conan could be a winner, and he should go out a winner. Please keep him away from Doc Savage. Conan is a perfect role for Arnold...he can play a barabrian convincingly..Doc Savage is a genius, amonsgt other things...I like Arnold, but he doesn't convey "genius". At all. Anyway, hope they make this flick and do a good job of it.
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Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the vymen!
First off, what the fuck's up with y'all givin' Arnie a hard time about his English? He's been in the States for 30 years now, and he can speak competently. I'm sure his English is better than your Austrian. Ya goddamn Nazi fucks...
Now, Arnold is a bad actor. I think we can agree on that. But the beuaty of the Conan role is that he doesn't need to act. He just has to look like a badass Cimmerian warrior. Unfortunately, I imagine an aged monarch Conan might require a bit more deft skill, but I think he can pull it off.
I'm uneasy about the Wachowski involvement. I can appreciate the Matrix, but I don't want that visual style ruining Conan. I want dwelling panoramas of the wide Russian steppe. I want horned mountains anchoring the Earth. I want painted skies. And I want hot barbarian sluts in metal corsetts. Hopefully Milius will preseve the artistic integrity. And let's hope that Poledorus will be back to do the score, which was one of the primary strengths of the original film. -
The ONLY goddamned sequel that should EVER be made!! If it's even half as cool as what Moriarty reviewed here--http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=10000--then it will BLOW LORD OF THE RINGS OFF OF THE FUCKING SCREEN!! And that's from a LOTR fanatic! Just don't A) gut/water down the script or B) go for anything less then an R-rating and Arnie will be back on top again. YES!!!! Oh, and by the way--anyone know how to change the e-mail address in your login? My current one doesn't work. Thanks.
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Jan 30, 2002 11:23:45 PM CST
Anyone else imagining ol' Arnie pronouncing WAH-KOOW-SKEE wh
by fitzy funk
A couple points to address here:
1. Schwarzenegger is done making any movies of merit (not that he really had that many: Conan, Terminator, Total Recall, Predator, and to a lesser degree T2). End of Days was his last-ditch effort (a la Stallone in Copland, although Sly did do a more convincing job) to be taken seriously as an actor, and it failed miserably. His recent dealings (agreeing to star in Conan 3, Terminator 3, and now True Lies 2) just back up the fact that instead of looking forward to making future projects, he's really just desperately stretching for the past back when his body actually meant something.
2. What is James Cameron doing?? True Lies 2 as a follow-up to Titanic? I'm starting to wonder why he turned down Terminator 3, if he was already planning on doing a sequel. Say what you will about Cameron's narrative deficiencies (and they aren't lacking), but the guy is a craftsman and he still knows how to put high-powered entertainment in theaters when it's on the line. Somebody please find him a project that plays to these strengths... -
yeah, seriously cool news, but how long are we talking here? T3, True Lies2, and how many more before Conan? He's gonna have to be Grandpa Conan. I agree though, they've gotta go hard R and throw bucketloads of t & a and lots of body parts being hacked off. Violence and kick ass music. Amen brotha!
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Finally talk about the greatest Fantsy movie of all time and a possible sequel. Arnold do this now!!! Why doesn't MILIUS talk to Oliver Stone about the sequel? They wrote Conan the Barbarian and what else has STONE done worthy of note lately? To make a kick arse Conan they need Milius to direct and Poledouris to compose the score. Also bring back MAKO to ensure this movie rules, (if he's still alive...) Cheers.
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"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."
Oh yeah, Conan would definitely kick his candy-ass! And maybe cut off his head with his father's sword for using his music in his bitch-ass trailer. -
As is Gerry "Subotai" Lopez, at least last I heard. They both need at least cameos in this thing. But for the rest. . .yeah, hard "R" is the only way to go. And as I said before, they *really* need to focus on the script. Film this bitch the way Robert E. Howard wrote the novels--epic, full of vast plains, towering mountains, T&A and gore and cold steel. And what the hell--since fantasy seems to be the Next big Thing in the wake of LORD OF THE RINGS' success, why not make a film or two out of Charles Saunders' "Imaro" books? They'd look great on the big screen, too--if done right. Oh yeah, and Buzz Maverick rulez.
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MAko is the voice of the villian on Cartoon Network's Samarai Jack.
Mako's best work was as the angry samarai who worked with Magnum P.I. to find out who was making knock-off vases! I know I am not the only person waiting for Tom,
and his stache, to return to save Higgin's estate in a top of the line tv movie. -
"Kindergarten Cop II: Attack of the Pederast" and "Sixth Day II: Clone, Clone on the Range"
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Jan 31, 2002 1:52:44 AM CST
Conan the barbarian... Conan the destroyer... King Conan?? NO!!
by theginger twit
Hear that? yeah you bitch.
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You should take a shot at John McTiernan's one for THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR. The guy sounds like Steven Wright for fuck's sake! Mind you, my vote for the most baffling DVD commentary ever goes to Darren Stein, writer\director of JAWBREAKER. You won't find a person more oblivious to what an utter piece of shit their movie is. He goes on and on about every little detail like he's Orson Welles making CITIZEN KANE. He only talks about the subtext of every scene, neglecting the fact that the actual text of the scene is garbage. Now I do have cut the brother some slack because he's obviously very honestly proud of his appaling flick, but there's a very thin line between pride and delusion. And don't even get me started on the URBAN LEGENDS commentary...
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FUCK THE WACHOWSKIS!
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I only hope that if they make a Conan The King movie, that Arnold won't wussify the thing for a broader appeal and larger ticket audience.
Robert E. Howard's stories are dark, bloody and full of wenching; all ingredients for the pulp readers of the day. The first Conan film followed this style, for the most part, and was very successful even with an R rating. The second film went campy and silly with a PG rating and pretty much stalled the franchise. DUH! Way to go boys; when will you ever learn?
If Arnold goes into "family film" mode, or takes the edges off for concern of his political and family friendly image, then the film will suffer and I see a potential disaster in the making.
By Crom, screw the kiddies and p-c police; make it an R-rated film with all the blood, guts, wine and whores that Conan deserves.
Alas though, I have a feeling we'll see something closer to Hercules' Incredible Journeys or some similar lame shit. If Arnold isn't up to the task, bring on a different actor. If an unknown Austrian actor can do it, then why not a current unknown (or unproven) actor do it as well? Start the franchise aknew and this time don't fuck it up by making it PG and kiddie friendly. Hunter Helmsley would be a badass Conan and I don't think he'd shy away from the required carnage like governor-to-be Arnold would. -
Trying to make a name for themself, and they have no control over a film.. but when they become 'big' or what not, they feel as if they should take certain precautions over their films, and end up ruining what could have been a decent film without their intervention in the first place.. Actors should just stick to acting, let the directors and the writers make the film.. Producers aren't much better...
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Since it is now common knowledge that everybody from Scott to Spielberg is trying to get rich using the same old franchises, let us have BLADE RUNNER 2 then, before all this hype ends up in a remake of Howard the Duck!
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YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY???
I HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF BEING IN THAT MOVIE :) -
Arnold is not the best choice for the obvious reason because of his age and also he's not the strongman he used to be. He can't body build like he could 20 years ago, especially after the heart surgery he had a couple of years ago.
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I fear we won't see another like the uncompromising brute quality of Barbarian. Arnie is too old now to appeal to the Angry Young Man audience, and the film is going to have to be a banker.
That means there'll have to be something for the ladies, and for us old married blokes (because we have to *pretend* to not just want to see 2 hours of Arnie smiting the FUCK out of stuff). So there will have to be, you know, dialogue, and Conan will have to learn an important lesson about, I dunno, the value of being kind to puppies or such.
But as to the smiting... it really is true that old age and treachery will defeat youth and vigour every time. Arnie has the authority of age now, and while he can't do the pose-SMACK-pose-SMACK of his earlier years, he can still do the Old Man trick of winning through sheer intimidation and not giving a fuck about fighting fair. There are few things more unexpected than the frontal assault without mercy.
I'm not expecting to see another Barbarian, but then I wouldn't want to. I'm happy to see Conan the King as a grizzled old bastard, winning through treachery and deceit and backstabbing.
What I *don't* want to see is a Rocky. Old Conan, beaten by younger bloke, mystic vision quest, yadda yadda, big comeback, get the girl, off into the sunset.
Screw that. Watch Crouching Tiger, or Depardieus's Cyrano, or read Beowulf. Make us care, make us cheer for him, then END Conan in a rush of pathos. Give us something worthy and legendary - and bitter sweet - to remember him by. This is Arnie's last chance. I'd hate to see him waste it. -
And this story shall also be told...
Nothing wrong with bringing back Arnie in this. When you see Conan at the end of both the Conan films he is visibly older (with Beard) and so you can't say that in this case (unlike Terminator 3 which is entirely unnecessary) he is unfit to resume the role.
Conan The King *should* thanks to John Milius's writing be a return to Barbarians more adult themes.
I mean I enjoy Conan The Destroyer but it did entirely throw most of the good things that Conan The Barbraian stood for - Frankly its more closely related to Red Sonja than its prequel.
I would imagine that Arnie, judging by his commentary on the SE DVD would also appreciate lots of R-rated violence and many busty wenches at hand. I certainly would!!!
Nowt wrong with the Wachowski's input - John Milius is da man, but he hasn't exactly produced many films recently and Arnie needs input from young directors in order to connect him with that particular age set.
From the earlier AICN article it did look like a good script that dealt with the themes that Milius intended to do in his proposed trilogy of which this can be argued is the first true sequel.
Bring back Basil! We love his score! And True Lies...hmmm so long as Cameron stays involved and Arnold/Lee Curtis return it should be dum - but fun. Like the original!
I would rather Arnie did sequels to his best films (excluding Terminator as he already did that) than be in dross like Batman & Robin, End Of Days, The Sixth Day and Collateral Damage. -
This post is classified GMDCUCS - generally meaningful, does contain unrelated cheap shots. ( hey I'm human - every mofo on this board is getting their licks in at the expense of the Grazman ). Firstly, Fluffy Grey Cat is 1,000,010% right. To achieve the cinematic orgy of brutal horror and perversion that so many await with glee maybe we should perhaps turn to a creative mind that is (heh heh) "sensitive" to such virtues. Therefore I propose that Paul, your favourite dutch sadist and mine, Verhoeven be the swinging dick at the helm of "Conanfest" or whatever. Just think about it - there's been so much speculation on the other t.b.s about what he might commit himself to that it just seemed obvious to me. Imagine the preproduction boardroom negotiations :
Interchangable Studio Exec ( speaking in carefully measured tones ) - " Just follow your instincts, Paul. Think of pretty much everything else you've directed only more GRATUITOUS and UNCONSCIONABLE."
PV - " I don't know if I can pull it off but I'll do my best."
( big smiles and firm handshakes all round )
Actually rather than "Conan" the Arnie-vehicle I'd most like to see reprised is "Commando", a sublimely risible piece of Golan-Globus-ey plop-plop. Of all the 80's movies I've ever seen that was truly one of them. I always loved the idea of a guy the size of a semi-trailer prime mover "disappearing into the background" of an island little bigger than your average skate park. Arnold ( or John Matrix- ho ho yes - this is the MATRIX sequel the world needs ) WAS the island's outstanding landmark for godsake!!! Not to mention as fleet-of-foot as congealed oatmeal. Ah, the glory days when pseudo-South/Central American baddies were threatening the free world. (Seems so quaint now - "ooh look honey, a terrorist...and he's NICARAGUAN" ).I confess that I have an ulterior motive for seeing this film made. Rather than being a fillip to Arnie's rapidly deep-sixing career it would allow another flatliner of 80's video bait to rise Phoenix-like from the ashes and bring hope and joy to a whole new generation of schlock-monkeys. Of course I refer to none other than VERNON WELLS - or BENNETT- whose appallingly nasal Aussie accent must have tortured the eardrums of many an unsuspecting Yankee teen back in '85. Vernon Wells, who burst across the big screen as mohawked psycho-biker WEZ in "Mad Max 2/ Road Warrior", then travelled across the waters in search of fame and duly found it by playing the porn-moustached nemesis to ex-special agent John Matrix, who sanctified him with a steam-pipe through the chest. Many a young man grew up in the hope he would have a steampipe punched through his ribcage -Vernon Wells lived that dream!!! (He also was a heavy in INNERSPACE and had a walkon in WEIRD SCIENCE, for anybody who gives a shit). Do not be fooled! When you're watching the Oscars, lulled into the false belief that Australians seem to have an uncanny predeliction for the thespian arts, remember these words - " Vernon Wells was Australian, He played Bennett in COMMANDO " - remember his brave struggle to be a convincing villain and demand that a sequel be made. At least do it so that old fogey Matrix can cut off old fogey Bennett's prick, dangle it under his nose and say "throw this on the barbie, shrimp!". The world needs this now! If it doesn't happen the next Arnie flick we'll see is "Look Who's Terminating". p.s. everybody should demand that any film Arnold makes should co-star Rae Dawn Chong, Governor Jesse Ventura, Sonny Landham, David Patrick Kelly and that African-American gentleman ( whose name I can't remember ) who is impaled on the chairleg in the motel room fight in COMMANDO and whose head explodes in PREDATOR. He's good. -
... www.thearnoldfan.com
It's a great place to go if you want to know everything about Schwarzie. To all of you, and specially to the Arnie-bashers, I strongly suggest to take a look, not only at this website, but also at Collateral Damage, which opens soon. Then you'll be in a better position to judge correctly the current condition of the Oak. -
hell yeah !!!! love that idea of yours, how about a sequel to the running man...closely following the richard bachman / stephen king book, with the game spread out across the US or even the world !!! Bring back Yaphet Kotto, his charatcer didn't die !!!
By the way, the gentleman who got spiked in Commando and whose head exploded in Predator is Bill Duke, now a director. (Also was in Payback). -
It must be nice. Gotta' go my Stupidvisor's coming!
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If anyone has Aimster, type in Arnold Schwarzenegger and download the prank calls made by people using random lines from Arnold's movies. Absolutely hilarious. Arnold calls the Gateway hotline and keeps saying, "You son of a bitch!" and "I'm detective John Kimble." What's funnier is that the lady buys it and keeps talking like it's a regular call. As far as this news, bring on King Conan. For all you fonzanoons who say he can't act, well, don't worry because he doesn't have to act as Conan. He barely has any lines. And even if he does talk, it's okay because he sounds like a barbarian anyway. I could also handle the True Lies sequel, minus Mrs. Tufnel. Also, Terminator might be good if that wicked rumor about Vin Weasel turns out to be false. And I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm gonna ram in your stomach and break your g@#damn spine.
-
Hmm...I don't know how the brothers fenagled their way into helping Milus edit his script. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one. Regardless, I'm anxious to see if this will turn out as solid as that "Crown of Iron" script Moriarty reviewed awhile back. That script had EVERYTHING one could ever want in a Conan sequel and then some. At last we yet see Arnie sit upon a throne, his crown resting over a troubled brow...
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I'm not sure the first Conan film
would have worked as well if
Arnie hadn't been an unknown. We
know too much about the guy now.
He's made too many other movies.
And we're going to bring all of
that baggage into King Conan with
us. The Arnold I'm familiar with
just doesn't ring true as Conan
any more. -
Jan 31, 2002 1:21:15 PM CST
Why The Wachochowski's Are "Helping" Milius or Why The Real
by buzz maverik
I like the Wachowski's work. BOUND and THE MATRIX both good movies, nothing I'd get into a fist fight over but pretty damned good (if you don't like 'em, fine but I don't care). They're talented guys. But they had a fairly recent, big,colossal, trendy hit (no matter which movies YOU liked better). So they have clout right now. They can get movies made. Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, ver-you get the idea few fucking people can actually get movies made. John Milius is definitely one of the greatest screenwriters in the history of cinema and is an excellent director as well. He is a man of courage, his own morality, great humor and great depths, who rarely takes the popular position -- DO ANY OF YOU SEE A RELATION TO THE CHARACTER OF CONAN HERE? As a matter of fact, he is my idol and a great deal of this Buzz Maverik persona is based on what I've seen of Milius is interviews. He's the rare filmmaker who cares about art and honor. Which is why he's been making films for cable lately. If I liked the Wachowski's before, they have gone way up in my estimation (like my estimation matters, but it matters to me so fuck off) because they clearly idolize Milius and love CONAN and are using their power in Hollywood to do something excellent. I'm assuming they'll get producer credit. They are creative guys (not geniuses but remember children, shades of grey, shades of grey) so they would have some input. They want this movie made. Milius wants this movie made. Shortening the script cannot even be considered a compromise. It's just good writing.
-
Jan 31, 2002 1:21:54 PM CST
Mako, Samauri Jack, Valeria, Pouledoris Yes!! and the Wachowskis
by elegant mess
First, let me ask, who invited the Wachowskis to this party? Don't they have some films to be finishing? Lord knows I don't wanna see no "dagger time" flying wire dodging in Conan. Secondly, they need to bring back Sandahl Bergman as Valeria. Conan and Aku, I mean Mako, need a visit to the underworld and snatch her from the right hand and proceed directly back to Earth to kick some ass. They also need the archer side-kick dude from the first Conan and maybe Tony Todd to round it out. All of this done to a sweet Basil Pouledoris score. I've owned the original Conan soundtrack twice and it's been stolen both times...bastards!
-
Sorry, I meant they need to snatch Valeria from the right hand of Crom.
-
Am I the only one who remembers "Conan the Librarian" from UHF? Thats what they should make. It was everything you guys wanted: a big sword, a geek getting chopped in half, and of course, the line "Don't you know the dewie decimal system?". How can you get better than that?
-
Jan 31, 2002 2:34:34 PM CST
Not Every Film The Wachowski's Make Is Going To Be Like THE
by buzz maverik
Didja see STAR WARS and AMERICAN GRAFFITI? Except for the growing up theme, were they anything alike? Didja see JAWS, E.T. and SCHINDLER'S LIST? Both well made, but were they alike? Didja see TAXI DRIVER, the CAPE FEAR remake and GOOD FELLAS? Same director, different stuff. Didja see SUPERMAN II, LETHAL WEAPON and MAVERICK? The argument breaks down when we bring up things like BAD BOYS, ARMAGEDDON and PEARL HARBOR but I think you get my drift.
-
"There are few things more unexpected than the frontal assault without mercy." Great reference to a great film, "Little Big Man." Spoken by the pompous and delusional General Custer before he rides into his own death. Great stuff.
-
Jan 31, 2002 3:29:57 PM CST
ARNIE SHOULD HAVE A SITDOWN WITH MATT GROENING AND MAKE A REAL "
by lt. torello
MENDOZAAAAAA!!! Three other quick things: 1) John Milius is a fat asthmatic war nut who claimed his asthma kept him out of the service (this at the height of the Vietnam War, when they were taking everybody) and can't be engaged in normal conversation without bringing up his gun collection. Going to USC gave you a deferment, lardass, so quit trying to glom the hard won glory of the guys who went. 2) Eliza Dushku will be the ONLY reason to see "True Lies 2" as Arnie is no longer near enough to shell out $8.00. 3) To the poster who complained about bad DVD commentary ("Thirteen Days," anyone?), I'll steer you towards a great one; "Nurse Betty's" features Neil LaBute, Chris Rock, Morgan Freeman, Greg Kinnear, and the incredible Renee Zellweger. It's informative and funny as hell. Plus you can hear Renee's real sexy Texas-accented voice.
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Milius has also been one of my idols for years now. Like Cameron, Milius would rather NOT make a movie than make a bad one. His films have always been fearless and his principles uncompromised. My only fear is that the Wachowski's will let their power go to their head and change Milius' vision. Those two are in a tough bind- they will either been seen as the ones who allowed Milius to be or got in his way. Rest in peace Aaliyah.
-
Do not forget William Stout's contribution to the Conan films.
www.williamstout.com/generic/filmdesign/Filmography.html -
...stop assing around and make this movie!
-
This movie needs to take itself seriously if it is to have a ghost of a chance at the box office (or anywhere else). They should follow Peter Jackson's lead and make a movie that is true to the origional source material--Howard's books--while still making the necessary changes to bring it to the big screen. The script Moriarty reviewed looked like a great step in the right direction. Damn, if I had Bill Gates money, to hell with crap like building mansions or libraries or buying sportscars--I'd fund films like *this.* Fuck, he's worth what--45, 50 *billion* dollars? Even going all-out, a Conan flick would take maybe 1/100th of that amount. I'd walk up to Millius, drop US$250 mil. on his ass and say "Here--make your movie. No strings attached." Then I'd distribute the mofo myself if I had to. And after that? Ellison and Asimov's "I, Robot" script. Same deal: Funding out the wazoo, top-flight script and actors, acres of SGI "Octane2" and "Fuel" b0xen for the rendering. . .ah, a guy can dream, can't he?
-
Sandahl Bergman still looks fine for the role of Valeria, judging by her appearence in the interview on the SE DVD.
Like with Arnie, her maturity will feel natural in the film. Makos return is essential, and it would be great if Subodai (Thief and archer!) made a welcome return.
Just so long as Grace Jones and Malik (that guy was soooo crap) stay away, I'll be happy. -
Milius just basically ripped off a bunch of Robert E. Howard (Conan's CREATOR) stories, stapled them together, slashed and hacked other pieces out, and essentially butchered Conan. Milius' Conan is NOT THE REAL CONAN!
Sure, the first movie was decent, but it didn't represent Howard's Conan. Conan is not supposed to be some stupid, slow oaf. Conan is SUPPOSED to be intelligent--he can speak, read and write dozens of languages, he's wily in combat and intrigue, and he's basically an unstoppable, fast, brutal force of nature. For Croms's sake people, Milius wanted to have The Frost Giant's Daughter, whom Conan was 2 steps from RAPING in Howard's story, send Conan on a frickin' QUEST for her.
MILIUS IS THE LAST PERSON WHO SHOULD BE WRITING CONAN SCRIPTS! -
I heard he had a glass of prune juice with Danny DeVito and is thinking (sic) about a sequel to BOTH "Twins" AND "Junior" . Hasta la Vista.
-
Though John Milius has written and directed some wonderful films (The Wind and the Lion, Red Dawn, Rough Riders, etc.) His version of Conan the Barbarian remains the height of mediocrity, and his script for Conan Crown of Thorns (or whatever the heck it's called nowadays) is, in a word, purile. (John, Robert E. Howard's Conan does NOT have a son, and to make him a family man completely demistifies the character. I know everyone who is middle-aged in Hollywood is having babies, but who the hell wants to see Conan's kid?) Milius seems hellbent on NOT understand Robert E. Howard's character or the author's intent in creating him, nor does Milius seem able to lift himself above the "Conan vs. The California Lifestyle" theme of his first less-than-stellar Conan film. The mood in a Conan film SHOULD resemble the high adventure frenetics of an Indiana Jones movie more than a mournful evocation of some savage age of violence (King Kull is Howard's brooding, depressive character with a horrible childhood--NOT Conan, who is happy and well-adjusted and has a family who is alive and well and living in Cimmeria--despite what Milius would have you believe). Seeing what Peter Jackson could do with a much less interesting property only makes me regret that Mr. Milius has anything to do with this new Conan film. I only console myself with the knowledge that, quite literally, dozens and dozens of Tarzan films have been made, but no one has got Edgar Rice Burroughs character right yet!
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