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Rav looks at ICE AGE, BIG FAT LIAR and Comments On His Love Of Dallas, Texas!
Hey folks, Harry here... Rav decided to brave Dallas to check out that ICE AGE screening we were told about. It seems that it wasn't quite what was represented in the advertising for the event, as the film isn't quite complete. Now before you get too bummed about Rav's coverage, the director was showing highlight moments from the film... key emotional sequences... that sort of thing... Though Rav felt unaffected by them. THis could be because they just didn't work... OR HOPEFULLY because they are scenes which really count on all that has come before. That the development of the characters is such that you need to see the rest in order for it to make you go, "COOOOOOOL!!!!" Now, without further to do... Here's Rav...
Ice Age, Big Fat Liar Review, and why Dallas, Texas fucking SUCKS!
Kiddfilm Dallas - That Ice Age Shindig
Well it all started Friday night, sitting around about to start watching "Where a Good Man Goes", yet another Johnny To film I borrowed from a friend, I've grown a fetish for To-films the past week after viewing Running Out of Time and Fulltime Killer. Suddenly the site has been updated with Dallas/Ft. Worth Area Geeks Attention!!! Fox's ICE AGE cgi film plays tomorrow, SATURDAY!!! Details Here!!! hrrmmmmmm Spike and Mike has taken over the Alamo, so nothing much to do tomorrow, fuck it ill go to Dallas and see Ice Age, after all its only a four hour drive, and has the coolest fucking teaser trailer ever. After doing a little more investigative work on this kid film thingamajigger, I discovered they are sneaking that Frankie Muniz flick "Big Fat Liar" as well (insert subdued wooohoo here) and are giving a lifetime achievement award, or some shit like that, to Leonard Maltin following a screening of The Three Caballeros (cool). Woah cool it looks like they are screening this new Christopher Walken flick Scotland, PA in Dallas that night as well, badass. Fuck yes this is going to be so fucking cool.
--------------------------Fast Forward here (Driving at five in the morning, two hitch-hiking transvestites dressed as nuns, a run-in with a trucker named Sal, Big Dick Blaque, Dallas Freeways, and eighteen decapitated seven year olds later)--------------------------------
Wow now I'm at the Anjelika film center Dallas, surprisingly its nearly a carbon-copy of the Houston anjelika except with a second story, wow. They are showing that Cate Blanchett movie Charlotte Grey as well, I hope I have time to catch it before I leave. I still have nearly four hours before tickets go on sale. hmmmmmmm whats there to do for 3 hours in cold-as-fuck Dallas Texas?? Absolutely nothing. Well theres Starbucks or you can wait in line. Needless to say, I found myself camping out in the anjelika for the next four hours. Shit this is getting pretty fucking boring again.
------------------------Fast Forward again (pacing around a few moments, many many bitchy mothers, Scotland, PA is sold out, women with 4,000 kids cut in front of me, Big Dick Blaque makes an encore appearance, bruckheimer isn't dead yet and hes making Beverly Hills Cop 4)---------------------
Now its Ten minutes before tickets are going on sale WOOOHOOO I'm about to see Ice Age this is going to be soo fucking cool, (insert teaser trailer flashbacks here> Orgasmic Smile here). hmmmm that butch-woman that just told me there was no way in hell I was going to get into Scotland, PA tonight just posted a pink paper sign about Ice Age, hmmmm. hrmmmmmm FUCK FUCK FUCKING BITCHES ASSMONKIES DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! The sign says that Ice Age is still incomplete and that they will only be showing a short preview of the movie, and that the co-director Carlos Saldanha will be on hand. After catching my breath, I am able to hold myself back from lodging my car keys down the director's throat for not finishing his movie. I buy my tickets and prepare myself for the Ice Age presentation.
Ice Age presentation
Being the top-notch (*Groan*) organization that the USA Film Festival is, it was no suprise that 95% of the seats for ice age were "reserved for festival staff or VIPS" which all happened to be under 12. All of these kids who still did not know they were not going to see the feature, instead they had a video projector set-up ARGHH!!! Hundreds of babies are crying, the co-director takes stage, babies are still crying. The director seems nice, this is his first movie, so he's a little bit excited, and he seemed to love telling kids about animation. He showed us Blue Sky's academy award winning short Bunny, which was really cool. Then he started getting into Ice Age, he talked about how they were really happy with the teaser trailer, then he started explaining the clips we were going to see and explained a bit about their relevance to the movie. It was roughly around twenty five minutes of footage.
The Clips: SPOILERS
- the first clip he played was the full intro of the film, which is basically not that much different than the first teaser trailer, there was just a little bit more acorn stuffing to it really.
- the next clip he showed was the introduction to manni, the mammoth voiced by Ray Romano, and Sid the Sloth, voiced by John Leguizamo. Heres basically what happens, the scene opens up with two rhino's putting together a salad with what is possibly the last dandylion left in existence, Sid walks in and eats it, ruining their "salad," they chase him this is where he finds Manni, who he hides behind his leg near a cliff ledge. Manni tries to bluff them telling them there is a puddle of quicksand in front of them, well then sid is dumb enough to ruin the bluff and throw a stick to prove it, GULP oh shit that was a bluff! What follows is Manni kicking their ass with his cool tusks.
- next is the director's "favorite scene" a group of dodo-birds are practicing what seems to be a Doomsday Cult, fearing an impending Ice-Age they are stocking up on melons. Except they wind up with only three melons, Manni and the gang wind up catching up with them. Well manni and the gang try to take a few of the melons, most of the dodo birds wind up falling off cliffs or into holes and dying trying to get the melons back, and the other two melons wind up being destroyed. Except in the end Sid winds up with the last melon, does a celebratory in-zone dance and winds up smashing the melon like a football.
- the next scene the director tells us shows off the drama of the film, this is where they see a group of hieroglyphs of Wooly Mammoths being killed by humans, (they are bringing a little baby back to its parents), this is supposed to be really touching or something but all in all it really didnt seem to have any effect on me, hopefully it will when I see the entire film. They also see a hieroglyph of a Sabertooth killing a sloth, this makes sid freaked out by the Sabertooth now.
- Next is a sequence where they are walking around in an ice cave, seeing many frozen creatures inside, a couple of humorous moments happen, like a UFO is frozen, and you get to see the evolution cycle of the sloth frozen in place. Then the baby falls down through an Ice slope and they all jump down the Ice slide for what is supposed to be a fun and thrilling sequence.
- Next is a sequence that is supposed to be really near the end of the movie. The group is walking across a few ice bridges and run into trouble with a river of Lava. Here Manni saves the sabertooth, this is another one of those supposedly touching scenes that just didnt seem to work here.
End of Clips
John Leguizamo's voice is pretty cool as usual, you wouldn't recognize it as Leguizamo unless you knew already. Denis Leary gives a real gruffy rough weird take on the sabertooth's voice, and Ray Romano well he's just well it's ray romano.
Overall I was very disappointed by the clips, the film's story was described by the director as "The group is bringing the baby that they found back to their mother, cause well they just felt that was the right thing to do." The baby seems like they ripped the baby from monster inc. out and made it a Indian. The clips gave off a very big Land Before Time meets Monsters Inc. vibe, but honestly I'd rather watch those films. Ice Age could still be very good when its released in March, and I'll still see it, but it's fell pretty low on my list of films im looking forward to. Seeming to be just a cheesy kids film, with okay CGI. Although the CGI will surely look much better on film and hopefully the final score will be much better.Big Fat Liar
God damn people are going to think im psycho after reading this. I have a bit of a soft-spot for films Paul Giamatti is in be it Duets, or big fucking momma's house, he's one really fucking cool character actor. So to see him with top billing in a movie is really fucking cool. So now I say, I really enjoyed Big Fat Liar. (You can start chunking old fruit at my head in 3...2....1). It's a really good live action family film, unlike shit like Snow Dogs. The film is about Jason Shepherd (Frankie Muniz), a kid that winds up having his English paper stolen by evil film producer Jerr*cough*Marty Wolf (Paul Giamatti), while he is in his home town filming a cop/dog buddy movie starring Jaleel URKEL White. When trailers begin surfacing for Big Fat Liar, Jason tries to tell his parents but they dont believe him......So what does he do? using money hes saved up for a long time he and his girlfriend (Amanda Bynes) fly to LA to confront this producer and get him to call his dad and confess.
This film might be really stupid at times and really cheesy at other times and the plot is well absurd, but its fucking fun so so-what. It also puts the nail in the coffin on some jokes, I hope, like the Asian director shooting the film is a John Woo-ish guy who only will shoot his scenes with Twelve different cameras and a bunch of flying doves or the scene in which she puts Steven Sodebergh on hold and asks him how do you spell your name? Shit I think I even misspelled it up there. It's Payback for kids.
It might be dumb but I liked it alot.
Well lemme hurry it all up before this drags on. Went to the maltin (guy from forgotten silver=cool) thing, it was pretty cool and had Donald Duck gone "girl crazy." Back to Austin, oh and I fucking hate Dallas Texas :)
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WATCH OUT!!!
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It's gonna have to top Shrek and Toy Story in terms of humor,though.
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First, this article reads as if it were churned out by a dyslexic
spider monkey. Try less caffeine, chief. Secondly, when is it cold in Dallas? Maybe a couple of days in Feb.?? Lastly, it sounds like this guy's troubles relate to kids edging him in line....here's a thought--grow a set and stand up for yourself. -
Also, the Angelika is in the heart of Dallas. Nothing to do?? Try Deep Ellum or Greenville Avenue which are both 5 minutes away. Oh, both of those places require interaction with the female variety of our species, which, from reading the article, would be quite difficult for this cretin.
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Jan 22, 2002 7:08:32 PM CST
Rav, the power of CHRIST compels YOU! The power of CHRIST COMPEL
by lordhoban
*wards off the evil spirit of Rav with a copy of Secret of N.I.M.H., Land Before Time, The Dark Crystal (among other TRUE family film classics)* -Big Fat Lyer, damn, that is low.. about as low as a live action Rocky and Bullwinkle, worse even.. I have to squinch my eyes whenever that crap preview comes up (same with junk like Snow Dogs).. Good family film my ass! Normally, I don't speak out about such things, but in this case, I can't help but! And honestly, did you think ICE AGE was seriously going to be that great? Anything beyond the first teaser is evidence enough of what a rip it'll be.. if you want to good inspired CGI, go to Pixar, otherwise, let it alone.. just back up and let it alone..
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He did mention in the article that he was spending 4 hours in the early morning waiting. Deep Ellum clubs and other area attractions are mainly evening hangouts. Not early Saturday morning spots. And honestly, what is there to do in Dallas in the early morning on weekend mornings? I grew up there, and there was a reason why myself and everyone else I knew slept in until at least mid-day on Saturdays and Sundays. Nothing better to do on the town. Other than shop... and if you don't dig shopping, then what else you going to do besides Starbucks? Read the Dallas Morning News and... well... not much else. Just sticking up for the other side of the argument. Let a Houstonian have his opinion.
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Dallas was kinda cold saturday. I can sympathize a bit. But damn, RAV stop doing whatever it is youre on. Your prose is like artifacts from a ADD mind, but worse.
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It doesn't sound like it would have been worth the 15 minute drive from the swanky Addison, TX!! About the "cold as fuck Dallas" it was 71 today... uh, brrrr!
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Sounds like he was just another baby in the audience that day. Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
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As much as I hate to speak ill of my own area, Dallas does suck big donkey balls. Full of uppity sons of bitches and not much more. Austin really is more of my kind of place. I can't believe that I'm in a film school up here and I never heard about this screening until I read a day too late about it. Oh well, Dallas sucks.
Laterz,
Elliott -
As a girl from Dallas, I feel it's necessary to say that, yes, this town does suck serious ass. i can't frickin wait 'till i turn 18 and get out of this hellhole and into Seattle, Boston, NYC...hell, anywhere. anywhere but here. ice age kinda looks cool. this report sounds kinda discouraging, though. i'm actually looking forward to big fat liar. frankie muniz isn't bad looking. he and amanda bynes probably make a great comedic pair. here's hoping on ice age, though. i'm so sick of seeing shitty animated films.
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Dallas is not that bad! Sure, people here can be sucky, but in general its a good town.
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I'm currently going to SC film school in L.A. (specifically Watts) and I'm from Dallas. When I lived there, I hated it because everything's a chain. Being in L.A. is fun as I pass Calista Flockhart in the parking garage of Virgin music, or closer to school see two guys try to pull a knife on my girlfriend at a Mobil. But say what you will, Dallas is nice and homogenous, and is a good breather, if only for a Christmas break or two. I'm going to Austin for the first time this spring break to visit my friends at UT. I hear its cool, but my sophomore friends say they've done everything in its small radius already. But hey, we all have to love Dallas. Wes Anderson hails from Houston, but he and Owen wrote Rushmore at the Cosmic Cup in Big D. Oh and I was surprised to learn Austin had a film school at UT.
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Blow me! I used to hate Dallas/Fort Worth too...until I moved here. There is shitloads to do and, MY GOD, it's scads better than Austin. Austin is 6th Street and a couple of other places that are minor in comparison. After hitting 6th Street a few times...there is nothing else to do. Let's see...Dallas, what to do?
*Deep Ellum, Greenville Ave. (upper, lower, lowest), West End (little too touristy), Addison, Denton. CRAP LOADS TO DO. As for cold...dear God man, we haven't seen snow in years. So it's a little cold here sometimes. Austin is a fucking sauna during the Summer. No place is perfect, but don't be throwing stones, glass is a pain in the ass to replace. -
Why is it that everyone from Austin has to hate Dallas? Too much live music and political bullshit that they have to wade through, I guess. I'm originally from Dallas, I left, and now I'm going back. Yeah, there are parts of Dallas that suck, and when I lived there, I didn't think there was anything to do. Guess what? I just wouldn't get off my ass and find things to do, kinda like RAV. "Let's see, I can explore this new city that I find myself in, or I can sit on my ass in a Starbucks and bitch about how much I hate this town. I'll go for choice #2" Do they not have Starbucks in Austin? I think they do, I remember seeing them there. Hey, Austin's not a bad town. Neither is Houston or San Antonio or Denver or St. Louis or Memphis. If you think a city sucks, then you're only seeing the bad part of it, or you're in Arkansas. If you think a city sucks, try living in a small ass Texas town 2.5 hours from Dallas, 2 hours from Houston, 2 hours from Austin, where the closest big city is Huntsville (where the prisons at) and that doesn't have a movie theatre or decent video store, then you will appreciate any place that has theatres that show movies that aren't the run-of-the-mill Hollywood product, and also where you can get a decent cup of joe.
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Just a note about Dallas. I grew up here and I loathed it. I really wanted something else, so I moved to California for school. The truth is, I missed it so much. I think it was just missing the whole atmosphere of the South period. I personally just love TEXAS. Austin is a great place, I do love it whenever I go down there for SXSW or QT or whatever...mmm Salt Lick!!!! It has a great film community that Dallas lost years ago.
Now Dallas really is a great place to live because there is everything and anything to do. It is very diverse in all aspects. Sure while your standing in the parking lot of a theater you wont see too much to do. Try taking a walk down the street to the cool lil pubs or hopping on the train to catch some Big D Downtown. Or better yet head on over to Sundance Square where there is a wealth to do and where there isnt manufactured strip malls. Which lets face it, are popping up all over even in Austin... yuck I do hate suburbia.
But not to offend RAV or anything... don't be so fucking close minded about places that you dont know about. We are both Texans and that is all that matters. -
I hated that fucking show. I don't give a flying fuck who shot JR.
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Hey Dallas by itself can be kinda boring so try to visit Arlington and Ft. Worth. The DFW area as a whole is a pretty interesting place. And it was 70 degrees here today. What was the weather like in your neck of the woods???? -
I went to school at UT Austin for 4 years and now I live in Dallas, and I like both towns for different reasons. I doubt that this reviewer really has fun in Austin either-"Ice Age" I guess looks sort of cute, but driving 3&1/2 hours to see it???
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I've never read such a rambling, incomprehensible piece of shit in my life. Harry, I thought you were 'Editor' of this site. Why don't you edit then? Jesus, this guy cannot write and spends most of the time spewing out stream-of-consciousness stuff that makes for utterly miserable reading. You could have just quoted his stuff about the movies themselves and cut out all the juvenile crap. Just a thought........
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Dude, I grew up in the Metroplex as well, northeast Tarrant county to be exact, and there's not much of a difference between the cities aside from size. Austin has a far better film community, the Metroplex has the best clubs and amusement parks. That's really the big line there. Which one you like better? In the end, I chose to live in Austin for that film community. Once you get in, it's like a big family. That, and the size of Austin as opposed to the Metroplex attracted me. Up north was too big a city (and honestly, DFW is just one big city now), and Austin is small enough that it feels homey. Plus, I became addicted to the Drafthouse, and if I ever leave it for more than about a month, I'll end up withering. Heehee. Honestly, which town you like better depends on your taste. There's no saying one is better or one is worse. It's all in the head.
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Jan 23, 2002 9:58:26 AM CST
How did the "Ice Age" talkback turn into a Dallas tourism conven
by fatty boombalaty
Have I accidentally stumbled onto the Texas AAA website? Who cares about the city?
Anyway, the reviewer did not see the entire movie. He admits to seeing only a few segments. He's factually flat out WRONG about several observations he makes. I've seen the film and it is powerful.
The child in the film is not taken from "Monsters, Inc" as the reviewer accuses. The baby in "Ice Age" is a much younger boy (not a girl) and his performance is fitting of his age, not a clone of someone else's movie.
As far as the animation. They won a frickin' Academy Award for "Bunny", you fuck. They don't give those away.
If you liked the first trailer for "Ice Age", see "Ice Age". Don't listen to the ramblings of the reviewer who claims to have this great review of the "movie", but then says he has seen only a few segments (which amount to maybe 15 minutes of footage, tops).
Return to your Pokemon on the WB, child. This feature animation stuff is way out of your league!!
FATTY BOOMBALATY HAS SPOKEN!!! -
Okay, we've heard from the Dallas Hater and the Dallas Berater but I have to agree with the folks who say, it's not just Dallas. It's Dallas/Ft Worth. There's a whole bunch of stuff in between and downtown FW blows away DT Big D. HEB for me stands for Hurst Euless Bedford which is a suburb city right in the middle. But you know, it's not a bad place to raise a kid. (I could never figure out why they had their own grocery store until I realized they weren't related). I guess that means I'm married and gainfully employed unlike a number of previous posters. Anyway, any truth to the rumor they are going to have to CGI Mathew Perry and Elizabeth Hurly for the ending of Servicing Sarah?
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No anti-semitism implied...
geez, I really need to spellcheck next time.
PS- I changed my ID from Toddster to Topcad. That's why it's different. -
Houston is the true shithole of Texas. Dallas kicks ass. DFW has the best looking women (and easy too), tons of things to do, great weather (outside of Jun, Jul & Aug) and killer live music. Lay off of Dallas geekboy until you know what you're talking about.
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Jan 23, 2002 10:40:13 AM CST
Wanna know why Houston doesn't break off from Texas and fall
by nordling
...because Dallas sucks.
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...It can't be anywhere near as bad as Appleton, Wisconsin. This place is the hind end of the universe. Don't believe me? Come for a visit. After one day, you'll have done everything there is to do and still have time to catch a flight home.
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I was born in Houston, lived a few years in San Antonio (still have family there that I visit every Christmas), have lived in Dallas for 20+ years, and have hung out with my friends in Austin more times than I can count. Being a "Dallas is my home" kind of guy, I have a little bit of the "I can make fun of it but you can't" kind of attitude. Houston is too dirty...Dallas is too snobby...and Austin is too fucking crowded and full of the "we're hip and you're not" kind of attitude. I can't really think of anything to say about San Antonio at the moment. I think the real point of this is that some dork drove FOUR HOURS to sit in front of a movie theater and then WAIT some more to see a freakin' movie...then has the nerve to complain about the town that he is in. Jesus H Christ....get a life. Maybe if you have done something....anything...except sit in front of the movie theater, you would have found SOMETHING to do. OR maybe if you would left you geek-ass back in Austin ...where things are SOOOOO much better and cooler...you wouldn't be sitting in Dallas and complaining. BTW almost every person that I know who went to Austin because it was so damn hip; is leaving because it is becomming an over crowded, commercial, hell-hole. Oh well...that's life in the big city. As for the chicks...Austin has my vote...'cause they have more raver-girls, goths, and punk rock chicks. MMMMMMMMM....freaks.
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Alright, Dallas sucks. Fine, whatever. But suck on this movie lovers: with the new Magnolia theater just opening, I'll bet that Dallas has more choices of independent/art films than just about anywhere other than NY/LA. Here's what you can see right now: Amelie, Band of Outsiders, Brotherhood of the Wolf, The Decalogue(!), The Devil's Backbone, The Endurance, Final, Gosford Park, In The Bedroom, Kandahar, The Man Who Wasn't There, Mulholland Drive (it's even at the UA now, whiner!), Rififi, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Shipping News, and Snow Dogs. OK, just kidding about that last one! Think about that while you're trying to decide whether to see 'Orange County' or 'Not Another Teen Movie' you jerks!
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It goes like this--Houston on the bottom. Then DFW, then Austin. End of story. However, when you realize that when you look outside the state that the next step up on the quality ladder is like, Little Rock, then you have it in perspective. That's when you decide to move the hell out of Texas.
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Maybe if junior knew his way around, he'd enjoy Dallas more. We have better theaters, comic shops, coffee houses, bars, and women! We are just about the only place that screened Battle Royale (at the Deep Ellum Film Festival)! If you want it, Dallas has it. All Austin has is 6th ST., that bridge with the bats, and an attitude. Sorry Harry!
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Look, lets put this in terms normal people can understand. Houston has the best restaurants in Texas with the exception of San Antonio, who has better mexican food. Houston happens to have the best Asian food in Texas and possibly the entire southern United States, however. Houston also happens to have the Medical Center, which just happens to be the largest and most esteemed medical center...ON THE PLANET. Houston has the superior arts program, with a superior symphony orchestra and ballet, and superior museums such as the Museum of Fine Arts Houston. Wanna talk about traffic planning? Houston is easily navigable as a series of loops in which everything is accessible in twenty minutes. Dallas is a sprawling ghetto in which streets rename themselves every ten blocks or so and in which getting lost is not only inevitable, but a crucial emotional component to making any trip to Dallas complete. Hell, Dallas doesn't even have the best FOOTBALL team in Texas (Say what you will, but as of right now the Houston Texans are still undefeated, besides we're not owned by Jerry Jones), and the Rangers suck and always have. Dallas has the better basketball team, but at least the Rockets have won a world championship before (twice). Finally, Houston is an hour away from the beach (as well as Moody Gardens). Dallas is an hour away from...Oklahoma?
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I hear Dallas is a lovely place as is Austin. BOTTOM LINE: if you want to break in to show biz, you need to MOVE!!! TO Los Angeles. Then once you make it you can buy a home in Austin or what ever is the trend at that time, and pretend like you live there, cause I personally see Matthew McConaughey on a weekly basis at Baja Cantina in Venice Beach. And for the USC basher, your right, it's in the Ghetto..UCLA is in Bel Air, so my question to your dumb ass is why are you GOING THERE IF YOUR SO RACIST?? I'm sure you could of got into UCLA film School? Or Chapman down in OC, or LA Film School, or Columbia College Hollywood..Cause let me tell you, going to LA Film School or Columbia, which are STRICKLY FILM SCHOOLS, not University's will probaly get you a better job!
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Jan 23, 2002 3:36:00 PM CST
Number one these movies sound boring number two Mike Tyson was p
by brooklyn bred
n i don't care what anyone says
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instead of discussing the movies that were screened in Dallas everyone is sounding off on their hatred of Dallas and the hometowners are rallying to its aid. Get serious, first of all is there any city in the world where you can do something in the wee hours of a weekend morning? Unless you know your way around a city you aren't going to find anything to do, much less something early in the morning. Let's just consider the whole city bashing thing moot, Dallas isn't the greatest city in the world but it is better than a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere where the best thing to do is shoot cans.
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In Dallas' defense our symphony hall has the best acoustics in the world and we have the Stars. The Cowboys suck, Jerry Jones is a bastard, and I can't imagine a city thats easier to get lost in(though it can be fun if you've got time to spare). I don't doubt that Houston has the best restaurants in Texas, it is the fattest city in America. Sorry, had to point that out.
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Another nugget from Cracked.
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While I agree with Fatty Boombalaty that this is stupid to bicker, I must say that Vegas makes me laugh. Does he know anything??? Let's see...where do I begin...how about with his comments on food. Who cares about food?? It's something we eat only because we have to. Next..the fine arts...D/FW has the Bass Music Hall. We have the Kimball Art Museum. Next, the beach. You're an hour away from it...AWAY FROM GALVESTON ISLAND! Wow, I'm not too keen on beaches around the world, but I'm pretty sure that people don't flock to Galveston for the beach. If I wanted to get tar and oil all over me, I'd probably take a bath in it right here in D/FW, then drive 4 1/2 hours to do it. Now, football. The Cowboys aren't so good now...but when were the Oilers ever as good as the Cowboys in the early 90's? The Stars...oh wait, you don't have a hockey team. The Mavericks...were horrible in the 90's, but how about in the late 80's when we were in the Western Conference Championship? The Rangers will kick ass this year. And about colleges...hmmm...Now I know that the University of Houston KICKS ASS! (note sarcasm), and so does RICE! Dear God, I'd rather watch high school football than those Division 1 teams. In conclusion, for those that don't live in Texas and really have no clue about the cities...don't believe Vegas about what he says. He builds up Houston like it's a mecca for everything great. And just so everyone knows, I now reside in Lubbock, Tx, which is a shithole, but I go to Texas Tech. Can't wait till we might face off against Houston or Rice in basketball...oh wait, those teams don't even play in the Big 12 (the best conference for sports in college). I'll shut up now.
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Ahh man.......can ya'll see the trailer now? Austinite, Houstonite, Dallas..er..-onian alike can enjoy the pure guilty thrill of Payback II: Brotherhood of the Cookie, starring Haley Joel Osmant as Harry, the 12-year old kindergardener, and Sally (Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen) as his lady friend/cootie harborer. Experience Harry's betrayal at the hands of Jack (Sean Astin), the evil non-graham cracker-breaker, who takes the whole delicious snack treat for himself (*despite* the easily dividible pieces), and knocks Harry unconscious with a rolled-up foam mat. See Harry's revival amongst a mass of sleeping kids (most notably a victorious Jack on a cot next to Sally across the room) and the cold realization all women are floozies, *especially* for Toll House products. Witness Harry's early entry to man-hood as he rubs the Barney Band-Aid on his chin and gruffly remarks to himself (skillfully voiced-over by Tom Waits)...."Not many kids know what their naptime is worth......I do. 70,000..er, One graham cracker." This trailer should end with a bock of Play-Dough on the wall with Japanese script imprinted into it (next to crayon etchings of pseudo-dogs and giraffes), with the title of the movie in English subtitles underneath. Honestly, if anyone of you ten gallon hat-wearin' Texas oil-magnates can pony up the producing money outta yer boots, it'll make LOTR look like an silly art-house flick by comparison. :)
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do you people have anything better to do than talk about how much Dallas, TX sucks? Honestly...
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