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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

Father Geek here with Elston's 1st Weekly Review of Hollywood's work week for 2002, and guess what? He doesn't have a 10 Best, or Worst, or Medium Flicks list for us to wade through and bitch at each other about. I guess "List Season" is offically past here at AICN, sooooo here's Elston's report on what little work came out of Tinseltown the last few days, because now its time for...

The WEEKLY RECAP...

Happy New Year, guys. Just a quick recap of the news from the holidays. Not a lot of stuff, but a few good tidbits here and there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAKEN FROM VARIETY AND HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

* Dimension Films has picked up SCARY MOVIE 3: EPISODE 1 - LORD OF THE BROOMS, written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It's about an orphan who goes on a magical journey around the world to fight evil. Production begins in March.

* Erik Jendresen will adapt material from Sebastian Junger's nonfiction book FIRE for a bigscreen feature by DreamWorks. The book chronicles the fight to contain raging forest fires in the Western U.S. as well as Junger reporting from the front lines in Kosovo, Afghanistan and diamond-smuggling networks in Sierra Leone.

* Peter Segal (NUTTY PROFESSOR II) will direct Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson in the comedy ANGER MANAGEMENT for Revolution Studios.

* Matt Schulze will star opposite Jason Statham in the action movie THE TRANSPORTER for Luc Besson's Europa Corp. Besson and Robert Kamen wrote the script to be directed by Corey Yuen. It's about a man whose job is to deliver packages without asking any questions. Things get complicated when he breaks those rules. Hong Kong actress Shu Qi also stars.

* Steven Culp and Dina Meyer join the cast of STAR TREK: NEMESIS for Paramount Pictures and director Stuart Baird. Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, Whoopi Goldberg, Tom Hardy, Majel Barrett, Kate Mulgrew and Wil Wheaton star.

* Michael Madsen is in talks to play a rogue CIA agent in MGM's latest James Bond film as well as join the cast of Miramax's KILL BILL for Quentin Tarantino. The actor also will star in the indie pic BLUEBERRY, based on the French comic books of the same name, for director Jan Kounen (DOBERMANN).

* Ray Park has joined Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu in Franchise Pictures' action pic ECKS VS. SEVER for Thai director Kaos. Alan McElroy (SPAWN) wrote the script. Park will follow that pic with IRON FIST, based on the Marvel Comic, for director Kirk Wong.

* Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez (THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) will write and direct THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT 3 for Artisan Entertainment.

* Ellen Pompeo (upcoming BABY'S IN BLACK) is in negotiations to star in Todd Phillips' comedy OLD SCHOOL, starring Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell. The actress is also in talks for a role in CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks.

* Rapper Eve will star alongside Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson and Asia Argento in the spy thriller XXX for Revolution Studios and director Rob Cohen.

* Dennis Hopper, Donnie Wahlberg and Deborah Unger have joined LEOPOLD BLOOM, starring Joseph Fiennes, Elisabeth Shue and Sam Shepard, for director Mehdi Norowzian. It's about a young mother plagued by a tragic mistake that results in her alienating her little boy. Meanhwhile, a brilliant writer is released from prison after serving a 15-year sentence and begins working at a diner. The stories meet as the man must overcome his to save the little boy as well as himself.

* Elizabeth Mitchell and Spencer Breslin will star opposite Tim Allen, David Krumholtz, Judge Reinhold and Wendy Crewson in the Disney pic SANTA CLAUSE 2. Shooting begins next month for a planned holiday 2002 release date.

GUNN SHOTS

(NOT from the trades)

* Visit This Site for info on producer Curtis Hall's Civil War film WICKED SPRING, "the most ambitious Civil War film ever made."

* For locations/showtimes and info on Ivan Rogers' film FORGIVE ME FATHER, visit This Location.

* Heard of the new online series that may be going to the Sci Fi channel? If Not, Click Now!

* Rubbergash Productions is announcing Sick Puppy Festival 2002 taking place February, 15th 2001, San Francisco, California. Check it out My Just Clicking for more info.

* Panorama Entertainment's David Mamet/Joe Mantegna collaboration LAKEBOAT now has a website: Click here to visit it.

Happy New Year. Hope the theaters are fun in 2002. Until next week...

Elston Gunn

elstongunn@hotmail.com

Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 6, 2002, 11:33 p.m. CST

    First

    by forward_deploy

    Yeah, Baby!

  • Jan. 6, 2002, 11:58 p.m. CST

    Battle Royale

    by juwamba

    Why is everyone metioning their favorite scene from Battle Royale? Is phrase in the same vein as "Can't Wait, such a huge fan!" and "X has a beer and cheats on Y." ? Someone please explain to me what is happening.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 12:35 a.m. CST

    Blair Witch 3?

    by Zarles

    Oh boy... After the debacle that the second one was, I'm really very skeptical of this.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 1:15 a.m. CST

    What A Brotha Know. (2002 Edition)

    by Public Enemy

    Aloha all you good folks in AICN land I am BUZZARO, the WALMART version of BUZZ MAVERIK. This is my supergroup of talkBackers, also 3rd rate Buzz Rip Offs, we go by the name of PUBLIC ENEMY. Anyway before I let my REGULAR "WABK" Co horts report their news, I must address the "GEORGE LUCAS PUTTING NSYNC IN STAR WARS" thing that has so many in an uproar. I have a theory that will put this whole thing to bed. The BUZZARO THEORY on this is that George Lucas and his Step Daughter that had "mind transfer thing" like that Kirk Cameron/Dudley Moore film. So Lucas' daughter has his mind, and probably now does very well in her 8th grade astronomy class. But as a result George Lucas, now with his daughter's mind in his rather bloated, flannel covered body, insists on making things like 'Jar Jar' and putting him in a movie with NSYNC. So that is my theory, I think it's true, at least if it is, it'll take the pain away. Here's CHICKEN BONE JONES. "Hey CBJ here live from CALI...anywy took some time and caught up on some PORN this holiday. Saw the Pamela/Tommy Lee tape finally, man that Tommy Lee has one big weenie, be sure and call him at 818 721 2162 and say 'wow man, how do you carry that thing around'. Also don't know if you've all heard about the 'Christina Aguilera Sex Tape' that's been circulating. I think it's bullshit because I've seen the tape, I'd post the free link to see this but I fear that I'll corrupt some of the youngsters on this site, but if you e-mail us at 'What A Brotha Know' headquarters (MrG@Hollywood.com) we'll send you the link. You be the judge whether it's a fake or not. Either way it gave me a boner.By the way what was up with FATHER GEEK'S LAS VEGAS LIST? I bet he downed a few before he wrote that, I'd like to do a couple shots with the Father Geek." Thank you Chicken Bone Jones. Unfortunately our other correspondent Mr Gwieves is still away on HOLIDAY but will return next week with some scoop. Until then, sleep tight all of you sweet princes and princesses.Until next week-Regards--PE "Grey cell green or is the green cell grey?"-Neds Atomic Dustbin.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Wow. I'm psyched. And it's a western, of all things

    by Silvio Dante

    Jan Kounen and Michael Madsen doing Blueberry. Trust me on this one: COOL.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 3:06 a.m. CST

    Corey Yuen's doing a film for Luc Besson?

    by Ambient_Noise

    This does not bode well. Yuen has directed many fantastic kung-fu flicks but these tend to have shallow and silly storylines. Unless he can put more substance into this latest project, I'm afraid it'll just bomb and sound a death knell for kung-fu directors in Hollywood. Also, his previous stars have included Jet Li and Shannon Lee (daughter of Bruce), both renowned martial artists. Without a martial artist on the wires, the action sequences may just look cheesy and fake. I worry for Matt Schulze (whoever he is) and Jason Statham, fresh from his "The One" debacle.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 3:35 a.m. CST

    Attack of the two nemesis

    by Crazy Fresh DJ

    With all the fanboys who either grow long rubbery ones over Lord of the Rings or tweak their nipples thinking about Attack of the Clones, Here comes Nemesis for the Star Trek geeks' turn. Just when talkbacks couldn't handle anymore: "It's Lucas' baby- he created a whole universe, N Sync will only be in it for a second and Fellowship was too boring" versus "All hail General Jackson!He'll never put a boyband in his movies and Jar Jar is a tool"- now the Star Trek fanboys are going to explode their Klingon undies over....whatever the hell happens in Star Trek films. What was the name of the one which made me fall asleep? oh, all of them. Except the one with the evil flying cube. CRAZY FRESH DJ- AND I'M OUT

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 9:18 a.m. CST

    what was left out of the recap

    by durhay

    Redman, Method Man, J-Lo, and Martin Lawrence team up in THE LORD OF THE BLINGS. Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson star in the movie version of THE PATTY DUKE SHOW, playing "cousins two of a kind." No one will be admitted during the "Jack eats a hotdog, loses control" scene.

  • And then I figured it out.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Buzz Maverik's Weekly Non-Adventure, Just Makin' Fun O&#

    by Buzz Maverik

    TAKEN FROM A STRING OF HOOKERS I'M RUNNING IN HOLLYWOOD... Sean Astin, who has expressed interest in directing a big screen version of THE HOBBIT, will instead star in and direct BAGGINS NINE from a screenplay by Charles Pogue and Lem Dobbs. The film has Frodo Baggins (Astin) reuniting with his old unit from the war and knocking off three Rivendell Casinos owned by Saurman of the Many Colors (Jude Law) who also stole his girlfriend Rosie (an airbrushed Jamie Pressley). Casting: Ben Affleck as a Pixie; Josh Harnett as a Martian; Ben Stiller as a Misfit Toy; Stephen Dorf as a Satyr; Marlon Wayans as a Fethish; Vin Diesil as an Ogre; Leonardo Di Caprio as an Imp and Cuba Gooding Jr. as Stan....Michael Bay will direct ACME FACTORY, reteaming with Josh Harnett who will play Wyle E. Coyote. The screenplay by Ray Campanera and Bill Levin centers on a scenario in which Coyote chases the Road Runner (Winona Ryder) and Bugs Bunny (Tara Reid) into a booby trap factory and things blow up a lot...Producer Don Murphy has acquired the rights to GO TO HELL, the sequel to the acclaimed graphic novel by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Skeet Ulrich and Meena Suvari will take over the lead roles and the Wayans Brothers have signed on to direct...Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci will further confuse those of us who can't tell them apart by co-starring and co-producing the latest in the chick-flick subgenre "chicks with issues" flick ANXIETY DEBS based on the memoir by Sandy Tappawicz. Tony Scott will direct...The Walt Disney Corporation has declared a jihad against screenwriter Richard Tollhouse for his latest unproducable script BURBANK MUNICAP PLUNGE. The screenplay, set in the early 1960s, chronicles a real life incident in which Disney contract player Tommy (OLD YELLER; THE MONKEY'S UNCLE; SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON) Kirk was caught having sex with another teenage male in a public pool in Burbank, CA. Walt Disney desperately flings cash everywhere to avoid a scandal. "What really pisses us off is the scene where Mr. Disney is reported to kick Tommy Kirk in the ass," a Disney spokesdwarf said. "It is a proven fact that out of the thousands of people Uncle Walt kicked in the ass, not one had a mouse ears shaped mark on their buttocks afterward."...See you...uh, back here.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Seagal and Vandamme in a fight to the finish!

    by stormtrooper

    NO MORE WIRE FU FOR GODS SAKE! Its a plague to the movie industry! I blame the matrix! THE TRON OF THIS GENERATION! You read it first here. And since we must include a Battle Royable Spoiler in every post, it seems, Sickle Girl does NOT dies when Kiriyama guns her down in the shed, since theres a ? after the usual body count.

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 3:14 p.m. CST

    My Favourite scene in Battle Royale...

    by The Feral Kid

    ...is where the bastard son of Walt Disney flings a pair of mouse ears at Jet Li who somehow manages to jump into a nearby tree top, disposing of the most annoying of the children on the way up, the ones that we never really noticed were there (considering they got shitty weapons like potato guns and pressure washers). Jet Li smiles says something I didn't understand - even if it was in subtitles - but I'm sure it was witty and suddenly at the bottom of the screen flashes this URL ---> http://www.aintitcool.com/tb_display.cgi?id=11151. And that's where it basically began even though there were a few other postings before...Spoilers: Jet Li uses a coconut bomb the Professor made and after killing Walt Jr., goes and says a lot of romantic gibberish to Ginger and Aaliyah's ghost - and this is the part where we smile...

  • Jan. 7, 2002, 5:25 p.m. CST

    First Of All, Sleazy, I Don't Make Up Any Of These Stories..

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...I just report entertainment news. But Tommy himself told this story in MOVIELINE years ago, so I guess that was Richard Tollhouse's inspiration for his script, which I hope gets made. I see Tobey Maguire as Tommy Kirk and Eric Roberts as Walt Disney. Tommy said that the studio made him go on publicity dates with Annette and other girls under contract but THE SHAGGY DOG just didn't swing that way. Kirk seemed like a really nice guy in the interview and should have been treated better.

  • Jan. 8, 2002, 1:40 a.m. CST

    BURBANK MUNICIPAL PLUNGE Isn't The Only Project About Walt T

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...there's also Alec Baldwin's directing debut, still unreleased, called DISNEY GO HOME. Haley Joel Osmet plays a young Kurt Russell who refuses to star with Fred MacMurray in FOLLOW THAT MONKEY so that he can lead his baseball team to the Pony League championship. Disney (Billy Baldwin) offers the team a free campout night at Disneyland to show there's no hard feelings. Almost immediately, the boys are attacked by armed mercenaries and scatter. While hiding out on Tom Sawyer's Island, Russell meets a young Goldie Hawn (Kate Hudson) a struggling actress secretly living in the park until she gets her big break. After losing his virginity to her, he summons up the gumption to sit down and negotiate with Disney. In exchange for Disney not trying to kill the team and for buying a new scoreboard for their field, Russell agrees to star in THE SPUTNIK WHO WORE BRACES.