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Why OCEAN'S ELEVEN was Father Geek's most disappointing film of 2001, and the 19 Vegas films he enjoys more

Father Geek here. After reading Harry's list of film disappointmets in 2001 I got to thinking about my own cinema let downs of the year. You don't see 300+ movies in theaters in a year without catching some very bad ones, lots of them, but you hope that the ones you've been following the progress on will at least make up for all the real stinkers... the totally unwatchable ones that when you're in a job like mine you have to watch all the way through anyway.

OCEAN'S ELEVEN was my biggest disappointment. Now its NOT a bad movie, its just a... a... an ordinary movie. And a big letdown for ol' Father Geek. Like Harry I loved the original script. The director is one of my absolute favorites. Annnnnnd I enjoy everyone in the cast nearly everytime they have appeared on screen in recent years. Unlike Planet of the Apes, AI, Driven, Pearl Harbor, Ali, and other disappointments for me this year, going into the theater to see this flick I felt that I would be "totally satisfied." I had no reservations. I thought this cast had a very good chanch to pull off the magic that the original Ratpack had in the 1968 motion picture. And since that flick wasn't the best directed, or anywhere near the best caper film ever made I just had faith that this cast and crew, and modern film effects and editing and sound whould just propel this new version into my Top Ten list for the year. My faith was sorely misplaced. I was bored almost to the point of tears. Everyone appeared to be sleepwalking through their roles. The only thing more mediocre than the acting range was the terribly tired plot for the caper itself. Yawn!!! The impossible heist flick has been done alot and nearly everyone I can think of is pulled off better than 2001's Ocean's Eleven. Its not that the movie is a really bad flick, that at least would make it conversational, or laughable, or controversal. NO, this film is "just so so,"... "Ho hum,"... "plain vanilla." It has thus landed at number 20 on my list of fave Las Vegas motion pictures...

1. Machine Gun McCain, 1968, with John Cassavetes, Peter Falk, Gina Rowlands, Britt Ekland, and as Joby Cudo... Jim Morisson of The Doors in his only non-singing film role.

2. 3000 Miles to Graceland, 2001, with Kurt Russell, Ice T, Christian Slater, Kevin Costner, David Arquette, and Courteney Cox. It kicks ass!

3. Las Vegas Story, 1952, with Victor Mature, Vincent Price, Jane Russell, and Hoagy Carmichael, classic noir.

4. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 1998, What can I say? Depp and del Toro are simply outstanding here.

5. Casino, 1995, Scorsese at his best with DeNiro, Stone, Pesci, and Woods all exceptional.

6. Leaving Las Vegas, 1995, With Nick Cage, Elizabeth Shue, and Julian Sands. There's more acting range shown here by the worst of these three than in the total of this year's Ocean's Eleven cast.

7. Perdita Durango, 1997, Alex de la Iglesia's masterwork of terror , with Rosie Perez, Don Stroud, and Screamin Jay Hawkins. Incredible!

8. Six-String Samurai, 1998, 10000 times more fun than Oceans 11.

9. Godfather 2, 1974, Not really a Vegas flick, but enough of one that it lands here on this specialized list.

10. The Night Stalker, 1972, There's a 1000 times more "cool" in this than Ocean's Eleven.

11. Very Bad Things, 1998, With really strong performances by Jon Favreau, Cameron Diaz, Christian Slater, and Daniel Stern.

12. Viva Las Vegas, 1964, Elvis and Ann Margret, very yummy!

13. Bugsy, 1991, With Beatty, Bening, Keitel, Elliott Gould, and Bebe Neuwirth.

14. Ocean's Eleven, 1968, With the real, original, uber cool Ratpack. These guys were real life buddies and it shows here, the magic comes out.

15. The Amazing Colossal Man, 1957, A classic terror of the atom flick, low production values, but loads of fun.

16. The Grasshopper, 1970, With lovely Jacqueline Bisset, Jim Brown, and Joseph Cotten.

17. Hell's Angels 69, 1969, "Real" Hell's Angels rob Ceasar's Palace.

18. Ebony, Ivory, and Jade, 1979, A racially mixed Charlie's Angels. High kicking fun!

19. Showgirls, 1995, Not the best written or acted flick... but, it did have it's finer "points," ones that are missing from Ocean's Eleven.

20. Ocean's Eleven, 2001, Just your average middle-of-the-road, safe Hollywood "product." Nothing to write home about!

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Reader Talkback

WTF?
by selectd
Jan 2nd, 2002
03:56:29 PM
My father's opinion:
by The Colonel
Jan 2nd, 2002
03:58:34 PM
3000 Miles to Graceland was absolutely terrible!
by metsrulein2k
Jan 2nd, 2002
03:59:39 PM
WHAT?!
by goonie
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:00:12 PM
How in the hell can you put 3000 Miles to Graceland in front of
by Marek
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:04:42 PM
Father Geek, How can you have SHOWGIRLS ahead of Oceans 11 2001?
by Marek
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:06:14 PM
Holy Cow!
by Mr. Little-Jeans
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:09:40 PM
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
by Dr.Midnight32
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:12:03 PM
everyone is entitled to their own opinion....
by shaggy-g
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:24:35 PM
Machine Gun McCain not available
by spoits
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:25:35 PM
3000 Miles of agony
by Enax
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:25:46 PM
....and another thing
by shaggy-g
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:27:34 PM
The original Ocean's 11 is just horrible!
by BigTuna
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:29:22 PM
Yeah! Six-String Samurai!!!!
by Smugbug
Jan 2nd, 2002
04:36:13 PM
You should really write your column when sober!!!
by Joel Goodson
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:10:51 PM
the good father has sinned against you oh lord!
by jonnyaction
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:11:01 PM
SHOWGIRLS deserves to be ahead of Ocean's Eleven....now excu
by Mully4Ever
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:15:46 PM
I aint no GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH, You better think about it bab
by SamBlackChvrch21
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:27:05 PM
stop being a spolied sport Oceans 11 Rules
by JJRoxusa
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:28:37 PM
3000 Miles?!! W.T.F.?!
by rubycanoe
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:30:29 PM
Okay, we get the point that O-11 isn't loved in the Knowles
by Rufus_T_Firefly
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:42:46 PM
I NEVER Talkback, but....
by bunglebb
Jan 2nd, 2002
05:54:48 PM
Wow that was thunderously pointless and dumb.
by ItsOver
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:07:45 PM
Gotta agree
by AshFett
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:13:50 PM
drugs (that's gotta be it)
by trentonkyle
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:24:23 PM
Where's the love for Vegas Vacation??
by 14byit
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:26:25 PM
Sauron
by Sultan0fSwat
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:38:24 PM
OUTRAGE! WHERE IS HONEYMOON IN VEGAS??
by NotchJohnson
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:42:05 PM
A racially-mixed Charlie's Angels?
by Darth Boner
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:45:30 PM
YET AGAIN A RIDICULOUS COLUMN AT AICN THAT MAKES YOUR EYES BURN
by Big Dumb Ape
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:47:35 PM
"Showgirls" just blew (pun intended) your credibility.
by HateThaNet
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:51:17 PM
3000 Minutes to Debasement
by NiceMarmot
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:52:25 PM
A Las Vegas perspective
by Redbeard_NV
Jan 2nd, 2002
06:52:48 PM
I don't think people "got" the point of the Ocean's Elev
by superhero
Jan 2nd, 2002
07:19:10 PM
3000 Miles To Graceland is complete and utter BALLSACK.
by Black Jesus
Jan 2nd, 2002
07:57:32 PM
Sultan
by Znosaro
Jan 2nd, 2002
07:59:17 PM
does anyone here...
by seacaptain
Jan 2nd, 2002
08:29:37 PM
Ocean's 11
by Billy Talent
Jan 2nd, 2002
08:39:31 PM
I played Showgirls at the at Midnight for my new years eve party
by MentallyMariah
Jan 2nd, 2002
09:09:01 PM
Don't quit your day job, Father Geek....
by CoolDan989
Jan 2nd, 2002
09:13:39 PM
OCEANS 11 sucks but.......
by mooncake
Jan 2nd, 2002
09:14:21 PM
Is there a planet where 3,000 miles to Las Vegas is a better mov
by CorranHorn
Jan 2nd, 2002
09:31:25 PM
I haven't posted in 2 years, but I just threw up
by Spacey
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:03:16 PM
I'm still so distraught about this article I'm never com
by Spacey
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:09:51 PM
Wow
by AsgardTex
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:14:08 PM
Only thing worse then seeing 3000 miles...
by JdRavnos
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:55:10 PM
stupid
by marlonv
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:57:14 PM
stupid
by marlonv
Jan 2nd, 2002
10:59:23 PM
PLEASE say that this is a joke.
by Homer Jay
Jan 2nd, 2002
11:05:36 PM
WORST...LIST...EVER
by Homer Jay
Jan 2nd, 2002
11:16:43 PM
I hate to bring back painful memories of "3000 Miles", but what
by Elgyn6655321
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:09:15 AM
Harry your old man been taking his medication?
by spidermanfreak20
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:22:12 AM
Gotta Chime In
by Mr.Klaw
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:24:16 AM
Godfather II & Las Vegas
by Brother Putney
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:27:22 AM
SWINGERS is the best Vegas movie ever.
by Cash Bailey
Jan 3rd, 2002
01:22:52 AM
PEOPLE!! CHILL OUT!!
by spiderblood1969
Jan 3rd, 2002
01:32:22 AM
I'm with Spacey
by shaggy-g
Jan 3rd, 2002
01:38:45 AM
Ocean's 11 vs F.G. - My First Post EVER
by MrFire
Jan 3rd, 2002
01:42:47 AM
Machine Gun McCain
by candylegcoat
Jan 3rd, 2002
03:28:58 AM
Hittin' that crack, are we??
by SLASH0723
Jan 3rd, 2002
04:32:55 AM
This is the funniest non-PeteyWheatstraw-affiliated TB I can rem
by Almost Sexy
Jan 3rd, 2002
04:35:20 AM
Jim Morrison - NOT in Machine Gun McCain
by Glenn69
Jan 3rd, 2002
05:30:32 AM
And these.....
by Spacesheik
Jan 3rd, 2002
05:58:56 AM
Ri-Goddamn-Diculous
by IHateThisSite
Jan 3rd, 2002
06:52:08 AM
Laughs and laughs...this has to be a joke....right? Please? Ha
by chiknfriedelfsac
Jan 3rd, 2002
07:47:32 AM
Laughs and laughs...this has to be a joke....right? Please? Ha
by chiknfriedelfsac
Jan 3rd, 2002
07:51:58 AM
3000 Miles kicked ass!!!! in a silly way.
by Plissken73
Jan 3rd, 2002
08:34:22 AM
yes!! Vindication
by bluemartini
Jan 3rd, 2002
08:38:41 AM
3000 Miles kicked ass!!!! in a silly way.
by Plissken73
Jan 3rd, 2002
08:45:11 AM
1) Casnio kind of sucked and 2) IHateThisSite guy, are you Ron W
by ItsOver
Jan 3rd, 2002
08:52:14 AM
april 1st isn't for another 3 months, dickless.....
by thegoldencalf
Jan 3rd, 2002
09:03:55 AM
oh yeah and....
by thegoldencalf
Jan 3rd, 2002
09:15:14 AM
Plisken76 (sorry is that's wrong)
by bluemartini
Jan 3rd, 2002
09:27:37 AM
Um, well, at least it wasn't a "Lord of the Rings" article
by Uga
Jan 3rd, 2002
10:54:23 AM
Hehehehehe...
by wasp
Jan 3rd, 2002
11:26:51 AM
3000 Miles to Graceland
by AutomaticMachine
Jan 3rd, 2002
11:39:59 AM
This Idiot List
by Keyser195
Jan 3rd, 2002
11:42:30 AM
Ah, Father Geek, what a joker you are...
by wasp
Jan 3rd, 2002
11:54:31 AM
What about Cool World?
by Redbeard_NV
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:19:41 PM
funny
by Juggernaut125
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:22:33 PM
Are you Crazy????
by Soldier_
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:38:46 PM
I repeat: THE FREAKIN' AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN?!? Madness, I s
by Big Dumb Ape
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:57:47 PM
Perdita
by VincentSpain
Jan 3rd, 2002
12:59:13 PM
Father Geek
by rickrza
Jan 3rd, 2002
01:03:24 PM
I had diarrhea in zero-g
by Lardass_Hogan
Jan 3rd, 2002
02:17:02 PM
How can someone drink this early in the morning?
by Obi1Balony
Jan 3rd, 2002
02:20:23 PM
bluemartini - I saw "3000 Miles" and "Freddy Got Fingered". "30
by Elgyn6655321
Jan 3rd, 2002
02:32:02 PM
What about Swingers!!!
by Halloween68
Jan 3rd, 2002
02:38:57 PM
One of the funniest talkbacks ever, and 3000 Miles
by Darth TJ Mackey
Jan 3rd, 2002
03:06:37 PM
this is what it has come down to...
by Goose42
Jan 3rd, 2002
03:42:21 PM
this is what it has come down to...
by Goose42
Jan 3rd, 2002
03:42:39 PM
What about MUSTANG, the 1970s brothel documentary?
by Electric Tsunami
Jan 3rd, 2002
09:37:10 PM
I quote the Dude......
by Homer Jay
Jan 3rd, 2002
09:38:49 PM
Senility is not kind!
by Scatchard
Jan 4th, 2002
10:19:07 AM
Please tell me it's April 1st...or are you trying to make me
by Sloppy Slacks
Jan 4th, 2002
02:28:22 PM
Help my site's been hijacked by a terrorist posting horrible
by corvette63
Jan 4th, 2002
08:04:38 PM
The problem with other people's opinions is
by Drath
Jan 5th, 2002
08:33:25 AM
Ass.
by KILLAVANILLA
Jan 5th, 2002
10:20:57 PM
SHOWGIRLS?!? Are you out of your effing mind?
by Zippo
Jan 6th, 2002
04:33:36 PM
ain't it a dumbfuckin review
by chow-the-killer
Jan 6th, 2002
09:12:46 PM
ocean's 11
by DEACON DAN
Feb 1st, 2002
09:21:28 PM

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