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Images of STAR WARS EPISODE 2: ATTACK OF THE CLONES Toys Up!
Hey folks, Harry here... GunsBlazing sent in this note with some pics of some toys from the upcoming episode of STAR WARS called ATTACK OF THE CLONES. The Wilma Deering / Natalie Portman / Amidala figure looks fun, but that Master Blaster Sand Mommy and Kid is just... Kinda funky. I like the blasted AstroMech toy... pretty groovy. And I hate seeing the Reek via a cheap badly painted toy prior to seeing it ala ILM. But heck... these things happen. Apparently the pics were first posted at TheForce.Net prior to the location that GB sent them from... But go to either place to check them out. Can you believe that this next year brings us a new film gettting filmed by Tarantino, Spike Jonze, David Fincher.... A new Star Wars flick, a SPIDER-MAN by Raimi and THE TWO TOWERS? Hehehehe, gonna be a good year.... I hope....
Hey Geek,
Here are some action figure scans from the upcoming Star Wars prequel Attack of the Clones. Padmé (with ripped shirt and tied to a pole...yes!), an Astromech Droid, a Tusken mother and child and a Reek. I don't know if these are custom made or the real thing but all of these characters make an appearance in the movie. Go to PegWarmer.Com to see where I found these pics.
Cheers,
GB
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McFarlane toys to do these toys.
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As Gollum bitch-kicks Yoda!
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Remember when they had midnight sales for the Episode 1 toys? People were actually paying full price for Jar Jar's and little Anakin's!!! Sheet, even Darth Maul's choking the shelves nowadays.
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LOL... oh man, can Lucas hit just ONE mark for Chrissake? I'm glad he's approving these STATUES...lol. Has anyone SEEN the Toybiz Fellowship of the Ring figs? The KING decrees them to be 17x's better than HasBLOWS latest attemps...lol....lol. Save your pennies, bitches, and pick up somer Lord of the Rings material. Afterall, do you want the merchandise from the DEAD, TIRED series of Twatty Nelson flicks, or do you want it from the new and FOREVER ruler, aka, Lord of the Rings, aka GENERAL JACKSON. And you have just been SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback! WHIP-TASH! (The Balrog's bullwhip, to signal my departure)
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I would kill to see a McFarlane version of Giger's most horrific cinematic creation (SPECIES doesn't count) facehuggers and all!!! Anyway, I know as well as the rest of you that the 'Episode I' toys have been collecting dust at the bottom of the discount bins at your local Toys R' Us (I think they are actually throwing them at people as they leave the store) but I'm pretty sure I'll end up buying them and giving in to the dark side. I'm a sucker for movie tie-ins and collectibles.... THAT REEK IS MINE!!! PUT IT DOWN OR I'LL DESTROY YOU WITH MY URUK-HAI CROSSBOW SET!!!!
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you've gone one step to far you rabid little fuk monkey. Had to have a pop at the figs didn't cha, couldn't leave the ickle figs alone without sploshing them with your evil man paste. You're mean and horrible, and probably smell of poo. I've had enough. I'm going home. I'm too upset for words.
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Does the fact that you couldn't remember that YOU said "Fuck Star Wars" as soon as YOU typed it in make you a low-watt lightbulb??? Indeeeeed it does!!! LONG LIVE STAR WARS.-LONG LIVE COOL ACTION FIGURES.-LONG LIVE COOL STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES.
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Dec 27, 2001 1:40:10 AM CST
I'm tired of action figures that are stuck in battle poses.
by sgt. bilko
Jeebus!
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Dec 27, 2001 2:13:23 AM CST
Mercier is that demented piss-bum found in every municipal park
by cash bailey
Everybody hears you but noboby's listening.
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I've got a bad feeling about this. Seeing the Tusken figures takes me back to the controvesy of "Does Anakin slaughter Tusken raiders for what they did to his mother?" debate. *shudder* Now, I don't mean to open up an imperial garbage compactor of bad blood on this, but you don't suppose we'll actually see the once and future Lord Vader wack out a kiddie Tusken, do you?
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Still, one really has to wonder about the quality of the Trolls these days. I mean, damn, this self-proclaimed "king" of Talkback is to Trolling what Soviet-era computers are to Intel! Subtlety, man, subtlety--it'll do your game some good.***********Anyway, as to the Toys, they're O.K. I guess. Like I've said before, I'm giving Lucas one more chance with AOTC but I really can't get all that excited about it like last time around. All I want is to catch FotR and AMELIE this weekend and see what real movies look like. I want my imagination to soar.
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And I got those chills of anticipation all over again. Only 5 months to go. Oh, and I really liked Fellowship too... yet I still want to see Star Wars. Isn't that AMAZING? A message from me and all others who have brains - FUCK ALL YOU HATERS. You're not cynics. You're not anarchists. You're not rebels. You certainly aren't too cool for the rest of us. You're just dumbfucks who reveal your stupidity in the sorriest ways. This goes for Fellowship haters who can't see past Star Wars either. Love FILM, not franchises. Let love rule, baby.
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Hmmmmmm. Anyhoo, did anybody else happen to notice that the female Tusken Warrior with the kid bears more than a passing resemblence to Khan when he first makes his appearance in "Trek 2 : The Wrath of Khan" ? Tday's game will be to sit back here as check how many people can condemn Ep 2 based purely on bad scans of toy prototypes. (Sad, I know, but the alternative is to go to the other room and speak with my in-laws.)
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This is crap - for better Star Wars matieral I go to http://www.geocities.com/buttbackender/ButtBackender.html - at least thats HONEST ABOUT the CRAP that comes OUT
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hey harry, why are the titles SPIDER-MAN & TWO TOWERS in capitals yet Star Wars isn't?
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I can't wait for Doogie Howser Boy Jedi. Smells like Teen Spirit.
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Somehow I wouldn't go looking for stuff about Star Wars toys on a site called Butt Back Ender.com. Uh, I probably wouldn't normally visit that site anyway, its name giving the impression of catering for those who prefer their bread butter side down, so to speak. Aw shit...I'm trying to be polite, but WTF...That sounds like a gay site. If so what are they doing carrying stuff about Star Wars toys.....oh...I get it, it's those telescopic toy lightsabers & a jar of KY, ain't it ? Anyhow...if I put "Star Wars Toys" in a search engine like Google for instance, would it actually come up with www.buttbackender.com ?? I may actually get bored enough to try that in a few minutes.
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In Episode II, Anakin has a BEER and CHEETS on his TIRE IRON. The there is a SAD SONG and he CRIES at the END. I would tell you more, but I saw this talkback last week and left half-way through it.
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Then I bought a Pokemon T-shirt and a mini-backpack. Seriously, did you see that little Tusken? He's a baby, for the love of sweet Jeebus! How far can Lucus really go with that? Certainly, it's a mark of innate evil, but in the last film we had various goofy kid-shit like fucking Jar-Jar helping Shimi Skywalker make dinner and Boss Nass's juicy deliveries. Nothing scary. This new movie seems real un-kid friendly, which is great, but he can't expect to market it the same way. How can you slaughter a mother and child, even if they are Tusken, and then try to sell an eff-ing Thermos off of it?
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Finally a SW TB. Save us Peter Jackson, you are our only hope.
http://www.petitiononline.com/dgkomxpq/petition.html -
Bitches, bitches, bitches... I see the KING has worked you into a creamy Lando-like lather of fear and paranoia over HASBLOW's TPM II toys, huh? LOL... SCHOOL IN SESSION! You bitches want MORE of this plastic feces? Oh, LOL, I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Twatty Nelson who have come via the Low-balled Incoherent express to hear the KING speak - you already made wedding plans with that Padme figure, RIGHT BITCH? LOL... Don't worry, bitches, someday Lucas and HASBLOW will give you that VR Padme to complete your basement collection of insignificance and wasted youth....lol...scratch that, adult-hood - SCHOOLED! Of course the KING will buy a fig or two. Will they be making "Disgruntled and Catastophically Dissapointed Ewan Mcgregor (In Spy Photo Gear)"? LOL... how about "Anakin (In Boy Band Bitchy Bitch Gear)" LOL... SIGH...why must it be so easy? Why is SCHOOLING you bitches so simple, yet complete? LOL...you have just been SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback. WHIP-TASH! (The Balrog's bull-whip, in my honor and to signal my departure)
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hey wait, I heard that on THIS site...!
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When this movie comes out I'll be 27. My sister will be 29. We'll be at Toys R Us at midnight when the shit goes down, dragging whichever bf/husband/baby wants to come right along with us. And I can't fucking wait. Why? Because I am a loser. Or, in the (kind of) words of Mr. Al Bundy, "every morning that I wake up and don't put a gun in my mouth makes me a winner!"
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Dec 27, 2001 10:25:22 AM CST
What?? No Colt 45 Lando? No Anakin/Wookie love stud 2 pack?
by silentbob x
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Dec 27, 2001 10:32:13 AM CST
I was wondering how many people would leave posts before the fir
by darth ranik
Two.....................By the way, Mercier or King of Schlong or whatever your name is.....your gay arn't you? You know it's ok if you are. But it's sad to see you living a lie.
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I sure hope there are some cute looking aliens in this film. I also hope there's some more deep and philosophical dialouge like in the Phantom Menace. "Qui-Gon what are Midichlorians?" "Well Annie, Midichlorians are..," Every time I hear Annakin's ethuthiastic "Yipee!" I get a shudder.
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And for that reason George Lucas has earned a place in our hearts and deserves a Viking Funeral. Right now, he should be selling Paul Masson wine and Bird's Eye peas. How can ANYONE look at that AOTC trailer and get excited? If its good, I'll be the first to sing its praise, but oh man, the trailer looks terrible. Who did the costume design? Ambercrombie and Fitch? By the looks of it AOTC will be worse than TPM.
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As of December 19, 2001, STAR WARS IS DEAD...What the KING would like to know is - WHAT in the trailers exactly are worthy of my ROYAL eye? LOL... is it the scenes where "Ani" (LOL and PUKE!) and Padme look like they're ready to join the band in The Heights? Does Anakin have a best friend named Brandon in TPM II? Lol... Or maybe it's the stiff, canned, animation of the clonetroopers entering their ship that has one and all so excited? No, I know - it's the witty, playful banter "Ani" and Shannon Doherty share in front of that waterfall? You can tell Lucas' kids are getting older -- for TPM they wanted teddy bears, loli-pops and bobby-socks, now, they're probably getting a little boy-crazy, so we get "Ani'snyc" as the star... LOL...maybe all hope isn't lost, though, right BITCHES? I mean, maybe his kids will read some Poe in high-school, get a little self-possessed and depressed, listen to the Cure, and have daddy reflect it all in TPM III. SCHOOLED! No, I think my favorite scene in the trailer is McGregor hanging on for his life, flying through Coruscant, screaming "GET ME OUT OF THIS FILM! I DIDNT KNOW, I SWEAT TO GOD, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE THE OLD ONES!" Lol... Sorry Ewan, we'd love to help ya, you deserve it, but Lucas no doubt has got you by the contractual balls... and on December 27th, 2001, you bitch, were SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback! THWAP! (Legolas' arrow, hitting its mark - next to Lucas' head as he sits writing the script to TPM III with a note attached. Lucas looks at it: "YOU LOST" - to signal my departure)
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Dec 27, 2001 11:32:20 AM CST
Section 4.3 of Harry's New Line contract stipulates : "I wil
by togmeister
That should be Spiderman and Lotr in small caps and STAR WARS, not the other way around.Relax dude, that's a joke. JOKE. I'm kidding. AREN'T I? Makes you think though - some people might get suspicious of that article on Xmas Eve focusing around a family gushing over Fellowship. Some people might think Harry's New Line paymasters (gotcha - kidding again)ordered that article to be written. Some people might think it's over their concern that the movie lacks the same kid appeal that Potter has. But hey - certainly not me!!!!!!! I don't believe for one second Harry has been bought by New Line. I mean, it's not like he's been given first-class tickets to visit the set, or that he's best buddies with the leading man. Wait a minute........
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1. LOTR related stuff 2. SW related stuff
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ROTJ. That is when you saw the true usurping of the franchise to a pure money making venture. Ewoks? Give me a break, hated them then and still hate them. A couple of people have said that George can
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why are you rambling on about SW and it's kiddie plots within plots? not only that you being the fan you are, don't you have any respect for Lucas? I don't but at least you should. TPM was the worst fo the series, you call it 2nd best? Ok then, we know where you stand on your ratings of movies. let the Hype build for EPII, then let the hype pop you in the face and fall apart once you see AOTClowns in action. Oh Annie, I luv you!!
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You have to wonder about someone who still uses the term "schooled", not to mention "LOL". He reminds me of the bespectacled UberDork who walked out of last week's midnight showing of FOTR at the Vista in Los Angeles (I know you're on Talkback, loser) and said to his friends: "Episode 2 is going to be the worst movie of all time!" Sad that people use their enjoyment of one thing to bash another. And by the way Mercier, "disappointed" has one "s". And "catastophically" isn't a word. Now correct and repost, you wretched excuse for a student! You have been SKEWLED by the King of Vocabulary. THWACK! (the sound of my ruler against your masturbatory knuckles, to signal my departure).
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All you bashers are out of your minds how can you compare movies and franchises why hate one and not the other. LOTR sucked PM sucked a little more. THATS THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT.
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The orcs were about as powerful as the RogerRoger robots in TPM, sure there were a lot but nothing totally bad happened. At least though Boromir died in LOTR and gandalf died as well. Darth Keith your over enthusiam will ruin AOTC for you. TPM was the worst movie of them all. Yet I guess you are easily satisfied. FOTR had an ending, but it didn't have a parade and a party like the SW movies do. The love plot in AOTC will be about as inspired as All My Children or 90210, with even fewer caring about it. I love in TPM where you have this ring ship in space and once Annie deystroyed it all the RogerRoger robots suddenly died. How original Lucas, right out of LOTR. Did the RogerRoger robots kill anyone? Even those jungjung aliens?? Oh, and those Trade Ambassadors using such phrases as 'Brain Dead'. AOTClowns, I'm laughing already. I will see this movie for free or weeks after release at the cheap theatres. But I expect nothing but the worse in AOTClowns. Nothing like watchin a Jedi jump out a window and hang on to some spy droid. Sigh, how kidde will AOTC be? We shall see, we shall see. Not muh TB for SW, I think I will stick to the LOTR TBs. 2 more years worth!
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Dec 27, 2001 3:13:31 PM CST
"The orcs were about as powerful as the RogerRoger robots in TPM
by iamlegolas
Well it's kind of the point, the orcs aren't supposed to be powerful, they are battle fodder in a sense, but there real strength is in their numbers, that's why you don't see them too often by themselves. Plus most of the members of The Fellowship, to put in DnD terms, are high level characters. Of course they are going to kill orcs with one blow, but when there are too many of them, then there is trouble i.e. Boromir's death. Notice how Aragorn vs the Uruk-Hai he uses the environment to his advantage i.e. the ruins he runs up and down on to thin out the ranks so he only had to fight one or three at a time.
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But I was talking to a SW fan who hates LOTR, Darth Keith, so I have to put it in his perspective. And yes the fellowship is made up of some of the strongest and deadliest memebers of all ME.
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ok, sure, but gosh almighty, EPII will be lucky to show that
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1 - the site is updated EVERY DAY
2 - they don't take this shit so seriously
3 - EVERYONE gets equal treament!!
4 - FANS HAVE A F****G SAY IN WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
5 - Butt Backender is WAY cooler than Qui Gon Jinn
6 - That pansy playing Annie deserves to be "manhandled"
7 - Yoda behaves like a bitch in these new films, and thus deserves punishment
8 - THE JOKES ARE FUNNY
9 - NO JAR-JAR
10 - no HORRENDOUS "Annie, is that you?" DIALOGUE!!!!!!!!!!! -
Dec 27, 2001 3:40:41 PM CST
The little tusken kiddie..looks just like *Gort*, from Day the E
by horus
I kinda expected female and young tuskens to look like the male ones , with slight changes.These look like some other race entirely.And why has no one mentioned THE REEK? It looks like a cross between a rhino with a couple of extra horns and something cut from Willow!Weak designs were something that let PM down, and this one seems to be going the same way.
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I ain't no flamer, but this shit is funny. Maybe Luc-Ass could learn something from those homos who write that stuff!
That guy who plays Annie really does look like a fag, though...maybe he become Darth Vader because of confused sexuality? -
WHUT? I'm outta here ... zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
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LOL...well bitches, looks like the DECREE FROM ON HIGH that the KING made WAS prophecy - this film will DESTROY the box-office of TPM, aka, Ewan McGregor's Greatest Regret Pt. I...lol, lol... SIGH.... So BITCHES, have you shat the proverbial golden brick yet? I mean, lol, the KING doesn't think that a Best Picture and Best Director Oscar will hurt the box-office, either, do YOU, BITCHES? LOL... Oh bitches. Bitches, bitches, bitches... SCHOOL! IN SESSION! LOL... 100 million in a week, huh? That's what, bitches, 27 less than Duck Tales In Space, isn't it? LOL...and that had about what, 8.3 billion times more publicity...lol, but NO word of mouth and NO critical respect...SCHOOLED! Then WHIP-TASH! You are bitch-slapped by GENERAL JACKSON marching through Skywalker Ranch and burning it to the ground...lol... You see bitches, with word of mouth, Oscars, and GENERAL JACKSON behind it all, play time for Lucas and ILAME is OVER....AS the KING hath decreed...FOTR will still be in theaters to brow-beat TPM II like a nickel bitch wearing a Gabe Kaplin wig and holding a double-bladed saber. LOL... wasn't that pretty much the ONLY advancement in Ewan McGregor's Greatest Regret Pt I? LOL... I mean there were NO Jedi, no sense of their majesty - NOTHING - the only new idea Lucas threw into the pot was a double-bladed saber, and lol, he probably didnt even think of that. And you have just been SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback. THWAP! (Legolas' arrow, hitting its mark, in my honor and to signal my departure)
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Dec 27, 2001 5:45:19 PM CST
Every geek in the country went to see LOTR last weekend, and STI
by togmeister
How's it feel, fanboys, to get your 'movie of the century' have it's ass handed to it by BRETT RATNER and CHRIS TUCKER? Heh, heh, heh. And before anyone mentions length, let me just point out the following per-screen averages : Potter 21k, Pearl Harbor 17k, Rush Hour 2 14k, LOTR...................13k!!!!!!!! How's it feel, geeks, how's it feel? For the most hyped and media-saturated movie of recent years, even you must admit those numbers are a SERIOUS DISAPPOINTMENT.A Beautiful Mind posted an average of 33k at the weekend too. And still the LOTR geeks are claiming the movie's got legs! Heh heh heh. Once the greasy ponytail brigade have had their fill, do you reckon the airhead crowd that made LEGALLY BLONDE a hit will be flocking to a three-hour flick about pixies with pointy ears? (Geek : "Women? What are THEY, exactly?)If Blanchett and Tyler got fifteen minutes of time between them, i'd be surprised. Reckon the kids are flipping over it? Have you SEEN the size of the LOTR display in Toys r Us relative to the size of the Potter or Monsters Inc display? Exactly. Forget the kids. Jocks? What so many geeks tend to forget is that elves, dwarves, goblins, castles etc. are the dictionary definition of NOT COOL. Spaceships, lightsabers, blasters and stormtroopers are COOL. Period. Stop arguing. Forget anyone who washes regularly and/or is into sports. If anyone is shitting a brick here, it's the New Line execs whose OWN RESEARCH leads them to the conclusion that almost half the people paying to see this movie don't even know it's a trilogy. How's it supposed to help the word of mouth if almost half the auds are spluttering 'Is that it??!' at the end. The day after Christmas don't count at the box either - you'll know when grosses collapse next week even faster than Potter's did that the movie is a RELATIVE commercial failure. Respect is due to PJ though for creating a beautiful, lavish, loving and utterly uninvolving movie, so at this moment King George is a bit like Fedora to Jackson's Young Indy in Last Crusade : 'You lost today kid, but that doesn't mean you have to like it...........' Star Wars is still very much around and will continue to be so. And as for dissing the acting in AOTC - let me just point out that two of the movie's stars (Mcgregor and Christensen) have just received Globe noms (which usually lead to Oscar noms), and personally, i'll take Obi-Wans 'You haven't learnt ANYTHING Anakin' or 'good job'any day over yet ANOTHER close-up of a dwarf with a Dudley Moore haircut and an ickle tear on his cheek. Awwwww....
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Dec 27, 2001 6:25:45 PM CST
togmeister : it's pretty sad that you rate how good a movie
by iamlegolas
yep, that's how I feel
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How in the world would you know that they think? Been working on your ESP powers have you. New line was only exposed to 20 million dollars. So, anything over that is a success. That can not be said of harry potter or peal harbor the latter not making near any money for the studio. Little more facts and less fantasy would be great.
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some more pointless arguements over whether Star Wars is better than Lord of the Rings...Just cant get enough...(sigh)
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You pretty much covered EVERY BIT OF DIALOGUE IN THE TRAILER!!!!!!!!!
OH, EXCEPT FOR THE TITLE!!!!!!
And those are probably the BEST, MOST SIGNIFICANT LINES IN THIS UPCOMING RAPE of moviegoers!!!!!!!
I tell you, Butt Backender and the Flaming Jedi reflects the future of SW!!!! (http://www.geocities.com/buttbackender/ButtBackender.html) - THIS CRAP MAKES ME SICK!!!!!!!!! -
Dec 27, 2001 8:27:11 PM CST
They should make a figure of Annie on all fours about to GET REA
by jaxx man
What the hell, make it a TARGET EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!!!! SCALPERS BEWARE!!!!!!!!!
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The dialog is the worst. The only interesting line is where annie whats to lie. This at least shows him starting down the path. But, oh my god does this dialog suck. But, in all fairness SW, ESB and ROTJ had its share of lines to. What what does it say when the trailer is god awful.
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It's a great film! I saw it! Don't let New Line cut it! It's a masterwork! Preston Sturges territory! Post my review!
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...and to all you other Star Wars haters, FUCK YOU!!! FUCK ALL YA'ALL!!! You all are the sorriest bunch of nerds I've ever seen. Collectivley none of you have any of the talent and imagination Lucas has(or Tolkein, for that matter.) I saw LOTR and thought it was a great film, the best film this year and it should win Best Picture hands down. But it's not the greatest film ever made, nor is it better than ESB. The film is a box-office hit but most likely won't make it past $250 million. Does that make it a failure? Hell no, but don't be dissapointed if it doesn't pass SW in all-time box-office. You punk-ass SW haters want LOTR to beat SW so badly. Why? I know you're all fat, pasty virgins who couldn't get a date on the street corner if you tried but that doesn't mean you have to belittle the GREATEST FILM FRANCHISE OF ALL TIME. LOTR is a great, Oscar-worthy film. STAR WARS was and still is an experience that, like the Beatles, changed the face of popular culture and was a turning point for an entire generation. I look forward to AOTC with all my heart, then I will look forward to THE TWO TOWERS. Try enjoying both franchises, you stupid motherfuckers. And Merceir? You're an asshole, plain and simple. Fuck you. I dare you to respond so I can embarrass your sorry ass. Look for your balls under that beer belly and gather enough courage to respond. BITCH.
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And I agree with SLJ. Lucas gets one more shot with 'Attack of the Clones' and if he doesn't payoff big time he's going to loose his most die-hard fans who've stuck by him all these years. I'm not saying he owes us anything, he doesn't. But we don't owe him anything either. I love the original Star Wars trilogy to death and I always will. I'm just afraid Lucas doesn't have it in him to do another 'Empire' or even ANH. After doing a great job IMO with Young Indy and all the super high hype I thought TPM would be a brilliant masterpiece. Instead it was an OK film for the teletubbie loving kiddies with cool effects and SOME neat stuff it in but nothing more. Oddly enough I went into 'Fellowship of the Ring' with the same sky high expectations yet unlike TPM I was paid back those expectations ten-fold. I've long tried to like TPM and even defend it from bashers but after seeing LOTR AND Harry Potter I now realize just how poorly written and conceived TPM was. The banal lifeless dialog, the lack of any real sense of evil (Darth Maul sadly just mugged for the camera and acted cool), the lack of the warmth and friendship we felt in ANH and ESB (not to mention FOTR and Harry Potter.) It's a shame, a damn shame. Worse yet is how all of Ani and Jar Jar's actions in the final battle where accidents. Oops I shot a battle droid, oops I blew up the ship... Yadda yadda yadda. If Han had accidentally shot Vader off of Luke's tail and Luke had accidentally blown up the Death Star no one would have really given a rat's ass. Had Jar Jar acted heroically during the final battle I could have forgiven his character. Just as if Anakin would have taken out the Droid Control Ship on purpose it would have made a sizeable difference. In Harry Potter all three kids managed to behave heroically when needed as did the little hobbits in FOTR, even Merry and Pippin heroically jumped on the Cave Troll to protect Frodo. For me a fantasy adventure needs great visuals, great action, cool characters, really evil villains and a strong feeling of friendship among the heroes. The original SW trilogy had all of the above, as did 'Fellowship' and Harry Potter. TPM only had the great visuals and action scenes. While I really loved Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan we didn't have nearly enough interaction between them to fully understand or appreciate their relationship. Jar Jar was a ditz, Anakin acted like a typical American kid not The Chosen One, Amidala/Padme was too aloft as the queen and too generic as the handmaiden to be really interesting. She lacked Princess Leia's fire. The nimodians where buffoons as where the battle droids. Both Darth's where suppose to be evil yet we never see them or anyone DO anything evil. In the first few mins of ANH we see Vader strangle Captain Antilles and see the stormtroopers gun down a whole bunch of Leia's troops... Then later the stormies kill Luke's Aunt and Uncle... Then Tarkin destroyed Leia's peaceful homeworld! Lucas gave us much reason to hate Vader and the Empire. In TPM we have no one to hate, if we have no one to hate then we have no reason to root for the heroes. Amidala talks about the suffering of her people but we see no suffering. For all we know the Naboo where spending the whole movie having tea and cookies. Maul does nothing evil until he kills Qui-Gon and even then it was in a straight fight. Since Lucas seemed to be reluctant to show any evil acts in TPM I have a hard time believing he'll pull of the plot that is rumored for AOTC. Heck we don't even see any Gungans get killed during the Gungan Droid battle! Even in ROJ we saw at least a couple Ewoks buy the farm. Heck I even remember some Ewoks getting killed in the TV movies. Not to mention the entire Towani family except for Cindell where killed in the first few mins of the second Ewok film "Battle for Endor". Now I remember how that shocked the hell out of me. Now that I think of it, even that film was much better then TPM. I seem to remember critics saying that movie and Willow where "too intense" for the kids they where made for. I guess Lucas took that to heart and made a 100% kid safe movie finally. I just wanna know why the hell he had to do it with an official Star Wars Episode... So either AOTC and Episode 3 will be the same way or TPM is gonna stick out like a sore thumb and be the black sheep of the saga. I hope for the latter but I won't hold my breath.
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Because I was somehow able to watch THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING without coming home and destroying my STAR WARS videos, laser discs, and DVDs. I was able to watch and utterly love Peter Jackson's fine film without deciding that I could no longer appreciate EMPIRE. And, for some reason that may forever remain a mystery, I enjoyed Weta's first major foray into cinematic visual effects without declaring that ILM's work is now and has always been just slightly more advanced than the FX in those old Super-Marionation shows. Just what the HELL is wrong with you people? Why the line drawing and the pissing contests? Why the mindless, sub-mongoloid sports mentality? Why is someone who likes FELLOWSHIP expected to denounce and loathe all things STAR WARS? Why is someone who likes STAR WARS expected to denounce all things Tolkien? Why the versus mentality? Why the utterly pointless loyalty to fantasy factions in a non-existant war? For goodness' sake, like a movie or don't like a movie, but don't do it based upon another movie's mertis... or upon how much a movie makes. Or feel free to continue with your mindless prattle- the sane among us will sit back, enjoy, and be glad that we're not you.
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Good to see Darth Siskel and Lazarus Long making a welcome comeback though. And don't worry about Mercier - he'll be changing sides again in May - you'll see. My points for today : The whole 'geek war' LOTR vs. SW is missing something vital, i feel. LOTR is a geek property. SW is a geek property and something else. The name 'STAR WARS' is also a hugely recognisable and trusted brand name in the field of family movies. Perhaps only the 'WALT DISNEY' brand name carries more clout than the name 'STAR WARS' in terms of movies that parents and kids know they can trust. I believe 'LORD OF THE RINGS' does not and never will possess anything like the same clout for families or children- which is the main reason Fellowship will not do much over $200 mill domestically and will never challenge Lucas's box office supremacy. It's got nothing to do with how much we geeks like one movie over another. As i've said before - how much product is LOTR shifting in Toys r Us relative to the Potter or Monsters Inc (Disney)product? Exactly. Like it or no, that's how the family event movie game is played. It's no coincidence that the five highest-grossing movies of the last two years (Toy Story 2, Shrek, Grinch, Potter, Monsters Inc) were family movies with identifiable brand-names ('DISNEY', 'SEUSS'), AND that they shifted merch in numbers that LOTR cannot hope ever to do. Which is why, incidentally, the SW toys are not handled by Macfarlane. Macfarlane cater for niche collectors ('geeks', if you will), and could never mass-produce numbers in the way Hasbro can. Having said that, the only AOTC toys i'll be buying are Jango and Slave 1 (i've wanted a Slave 1 since i was six!). Second lesson - it seems to be de rigeur to trash the dialogue in the AOTC trailer. I'm assuming here that most of you assume 'Titanic' is cheesy as hell in terms of dialogue. Fair enough - but there are many, many non-geeks who think the exact opposite. It wasn't us geeks that got Titanic up to $600 mill domestic, remember. If i'm George Luca$, who am i going to try and hook with a teaser trailer? The geeks (whom i know will be there no matter what), or the non-geeks who loved Titanic's equally corny romance enough to send it into the stratosphere? NOT a tough call, i would think. I consider that the romance in Titanic worked in spite of the cheesy dialogue, and i think that the romance in AOTC will work for the same basic reason - BECAUSE WE ALREADY HAVE THE FOREKNOWLEDGE THAT IT'S DOOMED. Try watching that scene by the waterfall with the knowledge of what ultimately happens to Anakin and Padme, and it throws a somewhat different complexion on things. The trailer encouraged me, because it seems that the inevitability of Anakin's fate is there right from the start (as it SHOULD have been right from the moment he walked down the stairs in Watto's shop). His master, the love of his life, the Jedi council, all treat him like shit. Another encouraging thing about the trailer was what it DIDN'T contain - on reflection the TPM trailers contained something from damn near every scene in the movie. The AOTC trailers have not shown anything of the battle in the arena, Sam the Man getting medieval on Jango Fett, the assassination attempt in the Senate, Portman blasting away in a ripped shirt, the Reek, the fate of Anakin's mother, and virtually nothing of Dooku or Zam Wessel. If Chinsack feels he can keep more things up his sleeve this time, that is good news for all of us.
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There is no ending... because the story is still unfolding. You are aware that two more films are on the way, right? Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing EPISODE II just as much as everyone else here (don't lie... you know you are) but FELLOWSHIP had heart, drama, a good story, great acting, wonderful special effects, beautiful music, excellent cinematography... need I go on? PHANTOM MENACE was all spectacle and no soul (I won't even go into how much I hate the entire species of Gungans because that is now considered a low blow) and I'm pretty sure Peter Jackson delivered the movie of the year in my opinion. Your comments about Frodo and Sam, the lack of women and male elfs appear to be taking jabs at something,... am I sensing a little homophobia? Don't worry, I doubt that you run the risk of being penetrated by a Nazgul blade on your way out of the theater.
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I'm a bit a newbie here....follow alot of TB. I love LOTR and have always enjoyed SW. I saw TPM and thought GL made some mistakes (trying to appeal to 7 year olds) but I thought he would have learnt from that...that latest SW trailor is ABISSMAL !!! WTF ??
whats up with all the "days of our lives" stuff...
this is where people in Hollywood have lost touch with some reality of what people are wanting/liking in the fantasy genre...
oh well....if AOTC flops in May, there will only be 7 months to wait for The Two towers.....oh yeahhhhh... -
Boogey, boogey! The Boogey Orcs are coming to get you! It was DARK. And the geeks like DARK. DARK = COOL. DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK DARK. My god. Any way you slice it, LOTR is going to have it's ASS handed to it by TPM. The general public had to love TPM, because it made so much goddam money! It was a box office phenomenon. The only thing to even rival it in many years was Titanic. AOTC is going to be even better! Lucas doesn't have to cater to a bunch of depressed and depressing Hobbit huggers with all that DARK shit. I like FOTR as a three hour journey to nowhere. The audience I was with had no idea what happened at the end, or should I say didn't happen. FOTR, the movie with no beginning, no middle, and no end, but damn it, it was DARK! How about that Dildo Daggins!? And what about Frodo! Every time he put on this ring, it was fucking Hobbits on Acid. Fuck Tolkein, you miserable rip-off Old English manuscripts from the tenth century hack! Bring on the clones! I can't wait to kick back and hang with my old pal Jar Jar again.
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Hi. If anyone out there would like to purchase any of the action figures featured then please contact me. As you can clearly see I made them in my shed last week with a glue gun and some gloss paint I had left over from sprucing up the back porch. The Reek was somewhat trickier and required three strawberries and a melted Rancour Monster from the Return Of The Jedi bargain bucket in Woolworths. Coming soon is Wan Bolo, aide to Obi Wan Kenobi along with his trusted companion Mewflacca in their custom built Killennial Kestrel. See them first on Pegscratcher.com. Oh and the $5 interative Yoda is still up for grabs on there if anyone is interested. Anyone?
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That's why people went crazy over that little hush-hush project "The Phantom Edit" which toned down the craptacular qualities only George Lucas could instill on film! Moriarty was SO right in his idea that we need to STOP ACCEPTING MEDIOCRITY NO MATTER WHAT THE GODDAMN BRAND NAME SAYS!! This is including: bantha shit slipping, alien face-farting, jackass tongue-numbing, evil sith "yippee!"-ing, cue-card reading, midachlorian-ing, roger-rogering, two-headed announcering, Shmi Virgin Marying HOLY JEBUS ON A CROISSANT **BULLSHIT**, along with 1500 other reasons fans have evacuated in droves from. Face it Lucas fans, we were enchanted, we were excited, we were pissed off and now we're being ignored (Bitchy "Ani" and COMPLETELY WOODEN DIALOGUE in AOTC *AGAIN* anyone?) -- Let's face it people, we all want to remember the original trilogy as it was and pretend Lucas's new and crapified versions NEVER HAPPENED. If Lucas had stayed true to his now *gasp* ADULT fans, he wouldn't have lost the respect and love (and profits) that are going to other nameless franchises --
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Thanks Hiplingo...I thought I was the only one who noticed that the Reek looked a bit like a strawberry!!!?? Though I thought, less rancor and more Strawberry Rhinoceros!Theres a touch of the shit ,men in monster suites from Doug Mccluires At The Earths Core about it as well.I hope the final thing looks better than this{Yes I know it's just a toy..I'm talking about design} Strawberries have never been frightening.I'm surprised any company is brave enough to make AOTC toys, after the PM experience .Several lost their asses ,trying to flog shit from that movie.
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....Gandalf: My king, this land 'tis not safe! Many bitches be in sight!-----Samwise: He's as sure as can be, master KING, and that's a fact. Why me old gaffer taught me to smell a bitch, and many are in the air, sir, that I promise...------ KoTB: No - steady friends, we have reached our destination. ----- Gandalf: I speak no ill-respect KING, but many bitches are near... -----KoTB: Gandalf, my oldest friend...lol...be steady, no bitches shall overtake us this night, for look, here for STAR WARS IS DEAD.... And you, bitch, on a late December eve and or morn, were SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback! WHIP-TASH! (The Balrog's bullwhip, snapping the grave in half, in my honor and as I lead the Fellowship to exit, stage left)
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Samwise: Master King, sir , bitches be near, and that's a fact! KotB: Draw your weapons, boys, it's bitch season. ---- Gandalf: No, it's Twatty-Nelson season. ----KoTB: Bitch seasn. -----Gandalf: Twatty Nelson season. -----KoTB: Bitch season -- damn you, Wizard, enough foolery! Lurtz, draw your bow, Gandalf cast him light, there! Samwise: Let's root some bitches, sir! Body: Please! Have...have mercy! ------Gandalf: It's Ewan McGregor!------ Samwise: A bitch all the same to me, sir! Let's cut him silly! ----- KoTB: No, steady your hands gentleman, Mr. McGregor has obviously been brow-beat and left for dead. Ewan McGregor: Please, KING, don't hurt me! Please, I beg you, take me with you! Please! Look...look what they've done to me... I didn't know. I only saw fragments - script fragements. I thought, I thought it would be like the old ones... Gandalf: I sense this man no bitch nor Twatty Nelson, KING. I advise...we bring him along. ---- KoTB: Hmmm....have you a weapon? ----Ewan McGregor: I have this, KING . --- KoTB: Very well, come, bitches abound, and it's a three day journey to Bree. THWAP! (Legolas' arrow, hitting its mark - a "Blue Harvest" cap won on Ebay for a week's pay by some bitch, in my honor and to signal my departure)
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Don't bother e-mailing me with the answer because unfortunately my e-mail addy doesn't work. Anyway: unless you are a movie exec yourself or a stockholder in a film company, why would ANY of you care which film makes how much at the box office? I mean, sure, I hope my favorite films are financially succesful, so they will make more in that vein. But some of you seem to be beating each other over the head with ""X" movie is gonna make NINTY SKAZILLION DOLLARS OPENING WEEKEND and "Y" WILL TANK HA HA HA!!!" as if you have some sort of emotional investment in it.
It's um, well, weird. And what's with this "STAR WARS vs DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING" contest? Sure, I though TPM was seriously flawed but it didn't actually *suck.* That lofty designation I reserve for such screen masterpieces as LOST IN SPACE and EVENT HORIZON. And I'm hoping Lucas will have learned his lesson and give us all a much better film next time around. I hope ATTACK OF THE CLONES is at least 2,000,000 better then PHANTOM MENACE and rakes in the PHAT sacks of ca$h m0ney. Likewise with FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, which I'm seeing tomorrow: I hope it becomes a massive success story both critically and financially. In any case, all I'm really hoping for is a kick-ass time at the movies, whatever the film in question may be. Feh. Maybe I'm being to rational for a STAR WARS talkback. . . -
I've been watching you for about a month now and I have to say your defensive stance in the name of everything Lucas is really, really pitiable. For God's SAKE just let it get through that LUCAS FUCKED YOU IN YOUR BANTHA PUSS, dude! By saying that the Phantom Menace even comes CLOSE to ANY movie in the original trilogy should automatically ban you from even calling yourself a Star Wars fan. I've realized that that's exactly what I am: A Star Wars fan.. whereas you've become a Lucas WHOREBAG at the Moulin Cantina - You gotta realize that now it's like dealing wit the fat, alcoholic, slightly retarded uncle who used to be SO COOL when you were younger, and now you just realize he's fucking crazy as a nut-crusted buttloaf and has unexpectedly started touching you naughty places! Buddy, before Unkle Georgie goes all the way with you, you'd better wake up and realize that Jar Jar isn't cool. Bad BAD acting isn't cool. Shitty dialogue isn't cool. Throw-away characters aren't cool. Whining that all the "mistakes" made in Episode 1 will be "corrected" as the trilogy continues IS NOT COOL! Wake up, man, you have absolutely lost it. Long Live Star Wars, but please stop letting Lucas anywhere near his sexually abused, malnourished, bastardized new triplets! (Episodes 1 - 3)
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LOL...Look at GUNS run and backpeddle like the bitchy-bich Lucas boy he is! LOL...I think we got GUNS by the Twatty-Nelsons, boys... He's the type of bitch that backpeddles as soon as the cool kids let him know his opinions are worth squat. LOL...you see, this is why it's so EASY for the KING to school these Star BORES bitches -- they put up a fight, but as soon as we give them one good "HELLO MCFLY!" they give us "No, no, I didn't mean it, I don't like it, I'm cool like you guys!" LOL... Oh GUNS, go back to your site that Lucas and Crew stomped a mudhole in...lol. No, no, don't worry GUNS you're not losing any "cred," you didn't have any to start, no many how many alternative 90's band records you own, nor how many times you thought Conan O'Brien was "Right on the mark! Damn that guy's good!" LOL... Twatty, Twatty-Nelsons, why must I always school thee? And you, GUNAkindaSMOKING were SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback on December 29th, 2001. WHIP-TASH (The Balrog, snappig his bullwhip to let GUNS know he has to get back in line, which he does so apologetically, and in honor of my departure)
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LOL..hey GUNSkindaSMOKING, I just checked out your DUCK TALES IN SPACE post above ...LOL! You know what the KING LOVES? How GUNS gives a Master's level breakdown of TPM, then a post later, after he's slapped around by one of the KINGS subjects, he recants and notes he's not even watched the TPM DVD! LOL! Yeah, GUNS, is that we need TPM Cliff Notes to understand your break-down? LOL...yeah, dude, sounds like you have NO IDEA what goes on in that flick, can tell you're WAY TOO COOL to have ever watched that piece of shat, huh, Butter-Fries? LOL... Oh GUNS, please, for your own sake, just renounce ALL THINGS ILAME AND LUCAS and you will be forgiven. GENERAL JACKSON is willing to take many for his new army, afterall, we're going to march on Skywalker Ranch and with one mighty WHIP-TASH of the Balrog's whip, burn that bitch to the ground! And GUNSkindaSMOKING was given EXTRA CREDIT and SCHOOLED yet again. THWAP! (Legolas' arrow, hitting its mark, a Colt .45, shattering it in half. Upon it's break, we discover, it wasn't a Colt .45 to start - it was just a toy gun - SCHOOLED AGAIN! in honor of my departure)
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Who would have thought old Mercier would be right? In fact, GunsBlazing is backpedaling so fast he's going back in time without the El Dorado!! What happened to the "Episode One is great for what it is.. it's not as bleak as Empire Strikes Back, but it's good!" GunsBlazing we used to know and laugh at? Now it's "H-h-h-hey, I'm just like you guys! Now that I think about it, I've ALWAYS shit on the Phantom Menace since it came out.. no, since I heard the first rumor! Yeah, that's the ticket! I actually FORGOT this movie was so bad and guess what.. i haven't even seen the DVD even though I blab about Episode 1 like I held it in my bantha puss for 9 months!" Even worse, this guy is on every Lord of the Rings talkback trolling around, defending Pork Lucas like a concubine in jabba's palace. Goddamn, Gunsblazing, get Lucas out of your man-cooch and turn the lights on! Phantom Menace SUCKED!!! No, it didn't have to be bleak or sad or dark like the other flicks, but goddamn, it should have had actors that cared (Ever heard Ewan's and Ray Park's ideas on Lucas and his film? Try google.com), characters that weren't pure shit (Jar-Bitch, Queen Whogivesafuck, Senator SnoozeN'Yawn, Darth 10-Minutes of Screentime, Qwi-Gon WhyDidITakeThisRole, Anakin "Yippee!" Skywalker, Boss Nass (bumbling down's syndrome tribal chief), The Blessed Virgin Shmi (Fuck, that's the whole cast already).. etc etc etc etc etc etc...... and didn't cater to kids still shitting in their scooby doo underoos and My Little Pony panties -- He forgot about the true fans that made him rich, Gunsblazing - drop the facade and quit coming off as like a true (in Mercier's words) Lucas-Bitch. It's beneath you.. but barely.
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GunsBlazing, you couldn't school a handicapped bag lady. Your teary-eyed acquienscence in this classroom is proof that no matter how anybody tries to convince themselves (and others) that the Phantom Menace wasn't anything but a moldy plop of baby dung, you will fail miserably! Lucas, you triple-chinned crazy motherfucker, get your dirty paws off of our films - or at least get actors who give a shit.. stop pretending CGI can replace a good plot.. realize that fans aren't going to take your insane **BULLSHIT** anymore - and proof of your waning reign is your garage full of talking jar-jar dolls and Amidala with "Awkward Smiling Action"! Star Wars: Attack of the Pretty Teens With Everyday Problems, here we come!
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KoTB: Bitches! Lurtz, do you smell that? Samwise: Bitches be near sir, and that's no doubt! Gandalf: Bitches, 1 o'clock! Ewan: Yes, there! Let's strike him down! GUNS: Uh...hi...hi guys. ----- Gandalf: Up, you Twatty-Nelson! Gandalf: Look, there, KING! The Twatty Nelson was watching his TPM DVD! Samwise: Let's bring the bitch to GENERAL JACKSON and let him do as he pleases! The Fellowship exits, stage right, leaving GUNSkindaSMOKINGifyalookatitfromacertainanglesorta alone on his bed, in tears of confusion, as a joyous Anakin and baby Greedo prance about on screen behind him>
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LOL... poor GUNS...lol... here he sent this little toy ad in, too. LOL... brow-beat like a nickel bitch with bone-spurs, bleach-blonde hair and a subscrption to TEEN People; all in his own backyard... LOL...lol... Oh bitches. Bitches, bitches, bitches... SCHOOL! Lurtz: IN SESSSSION! That's right bitches, pay up, pay up. Here's GENERAL JACKSON's ca$h-box, it's got a picture of GUNS momma on it, YOU DAMN RIGHT! Lol, lol...no, I'm just shitting you GUNSkindasortaHADAPOINTonceuponatime lol... Well, GUNS, thanks for playing, BITCH, the funniest thing about it? You pretty much SCHOOLED yourself, over and over. Neither the KING nor his subjects were needed (notice NO OTHER Star Bores fans could repair the damage you did? They all threw their hands up in the air and headed for TFN...lol). LOL...seriously, I love how GUNS is STILL going on with all the facts and figures for Lucas and ILAME, but, oh yeah, he's never even practically SEEN the movie. Right GUNS? Wink, wink...lol, lol...sigh... LOL...and, basically every waking moment for the last few days, GUNSkindaSMOKING has been SCHOOLED repeatedly and BROW BEAT like a Twatty Nelson over and over by the KING and his LOYAL SUBJECTS. WHIP-TASH! (The Balrog, finally able to crack the bullwhip in honor of my departure - he had been laughing his flaming ass off at GUNS 'logic')
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You know, I got over the fact that George Lucas raped my childhood a couple of years ago. I have a tough, resourceful childhood that responded well to counselling. What I cannot seem to get over at the moment though is that this troll has been desperately trying to rain on everyone's fucking parade on the FOTR boards, either before the release with his "Why cut Tom Bombadil" schtick even though
claiming not to really like the book, or after with his "I didn't think it was that great, and here's why... and here's the same post again... and again... and guess what, I'm going to keep posting that this movie is not all that as long as there are FOTR TBs to post to". Hey, you know, all that is fine, and cool, and dandy, its not a movie for everyone - however... HOWEVER... no WAY do I come here to find that after all his serious textual problems with the
adaptation of LOTR that he's justifying ANY of the writing choices in The Phantom Menace. Get over your bad self. It was badly written, poorly structured rubbish - the unfunny humour and
blatant within-movie merchandising was just the icing on the cake. It wasn't Jar-Jar that saw Star Wars off, (he's a symptom, not the disease) but the absolute contempt the whole thing had for its audience - you know, all those dumb fuckers like
me that turned up in droves to see the Special Editions in the cinemas, which then went to pay for TPM. THIS kiddie-shit was meant to be Darth Vader's backstory? Oh, all the old wounds are re-opening! Curse you,
GunsBlazing, curse you and all SW trolls to death and darkness! P.S. The only special edition worth seeing was ESB, because of the cool stuff they added to the windows and vistas at Cloud City, which DIDN'T actually INTERFERE with the story (yeah, Star Wars had story at one point,
who'd've thunk it?) like the other kiddie-comedy bullshit
did in the other SEs where the little CGI animations actually ran over the top of a lot of the dialogue (Mos Eisley in ANH, anyone?). Regarding these toys which are the ostensible reason for this shitfest, I may actually be bothered to check them out when George bothers to pique my interest in his next movie. I'm not holding my breath here, guys. -
It's like seeing an ice sculpture made of wookie piss and lucas cum just melting away.. meltinggggggggg (oh whattaworld whattaworld!).. the fans are migrating in droves after realizing that Star Wars really did die in the 80's! It's been replaced with borderline racist "aliens" (meesa don' undastand how theysa can say dat, massa! How wude!), and exciting extraterrestrial senate storylines that come out of nowhere (everybody knows governmental senate disputes RULE!) and end up somewhere between the West Wing and Pokemon. As for your flaccid replies: I don't have to stalk you, Jar-Bitch you're on every single Lord of the Rings Talkback trying to rip Jackson a new asshole, when you just come off like a jerk - LOTR is succeeding, it has a 95% approval rating from both fans and critics (Phantom Menace is at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes' Cream of the Crop)and all you can do is piss and moan because ya can't get Unkie Lucas's lightsaber out of your crusty bung. Dude he made them for us, otherwise he would have kept 'em to himself so he could stay at Skywalker Ranch and jackoff to Padme's cleavage while fucking himself with his bankbook. He didn't make them for himself you silly bitch, he made them for his fans and his bank account - he's not a goddamn philanthropist you know. He should have stopped at ROTJ or kept his piece of digital loaf to himself and poor, poor family. As for the DVD.. haven't you been listening? I hate that tubby, bearded bitch! You think I'm going to shell out 20 more bucks to torture myself and bring Jar-Bitch into my HOME? You're stupider than your illogical posts. You stupid bitch, I'm seeing figures that were out in 1999 and I don't have one fucking single figure!!!!! He saturated the market with his force-feces and most of that shit is still there. I saw a Queen Amidala doll at KayBees that has slowly gone down from 25 bucks to 5 and people still aren't buying it.. WAKE UP YOU LUCAS-SLUT! Like fuck if I'm going to spend another dime on Lucas's bullshit antics.. he's made a farce of our trilogy and he's not getting another dime. We'll see if people are lining up like they did for PM.. hell no - wise up jackass. And yes, Mercier did school you, so suck it up and open Fellowship of the Ring to page 1...
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Angry Alien Queen is right on. I think LOTR tb'ers are SO tired of seeing GunsBlazing's (I'm still convinced Indiana Jones and GB are the same) repetetive ass on the LOTR forums. I'll admit I got "trollish" today but it's only in response to Gunsblazing and his hypocritical stance on movies. He sure as hell shouldn't be complaining about Peter Jackson when he can't even admit Lucas has simply gone Kenny Rogers Moonshine CRAZY! Angry Alien Queen I would kiss you if I wasn't afraid you would implant babies in my throat later to explode bloodily out of my chest... TRUFFLE SHUFFLE
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...AICN TBs are clearly the place to score. Truffle_Shuffle, I'm sure that our joint hatred of the mouldering pile of bantha dung that was TPM will enable us to work past our interspecies biological differences and discover true love, and I promise not to impregnate you until at least the third date. Maybe we could see FOTR together and hold hands, (though due to my three razor sharp sets of teeth kissing is probably out).
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Dec 29, 2001 10:45:21 PM CST
"He's telling the story he wants to, and he doesn't care
by angryalienqueen
Clearly he is - since his story sucks lately. I think that's something that EVERYBODY here agrees on, especially you that can't even bring yourself to watch the DVD (allegedly). Shoulda done what *I* did, and not buy the fucking thing - it only encourages him to make more movies. Twenty notes richer, how smart am I? I'm sorry, I forget... what are you defending here? Oh yeah, your right to be a troll and then post your shit in "Here's GunsBlazing walking back and forth slowly with a big fucking TARGET painted on his chest" style. Come here baby and let me kiss you... with tongues... P.S. As for my world view, it does tend to exclude extraneous characters in movies that don't advance the plot, like Jar-Jar, and pains me to say it, Bombadil. It's very sad for me, but I'll get over it. Whew. Got over it just then.
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oh you can bet that Truffle chunks and King of Back Peddlars are one and the same. Truffle chunks gives Mercier a chance to gob off without the restrictions of his 'whoop-tash-bitch' caracature. And seeing as Mercier is just having a laugh, cos y'know, this anonymity thing rawks - I wouldn't bother with him. Roll on Attack of the Clones, should clear the bilious stink of a miasmic pus bubble that was FotR. Any differing opinions are void and shall be laughed at :]
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LOL...Trust me, bitches, the KING has NO aliases. LOL...of course, that's all besides the point, as are all of GUNSisascaredlittleBITCH's other ramblings... Ugh, GUNS, like one of my subjects has asked, what exactly are you defending here? Or not defending? LOL...See BITCH - SEE BITCH backpeddle. SEE BITCH get snapped in the ass and riled up, then backpeddle (REPEAT). LOL... Oh bitches...you know how we know GENERAL JACKSON is in charge? The N'Sync thing... I mean, I dont even know if thats a joke or confirmed. That's how far ILAME and Lucas have sunk - they are hereby DECREED self-parody. NO - CHECK THAT - Self Prophecy. Afterall, what did the KING just DECREE the other day? TPM I: Lucas kids like candy-cones, space-frogs and loli-pops --- TPM II: a little boy crazy, so as I said, we get ANI'SYNC, and now GUNS steps in a day later and tells us N'SYNC is in the picture! LOL! Yes, the KING does give prophecy! But, don't worry bitches...as I finished that PROPHECY, I said, Lucas' kids will hit some Poe and Plath, mix in some Cure and The Queen is Dead, and guess what? There'll be a brooding tone to TPM III, just wait. Oh sure, we'll have to put up with Fat Bob as a removed, self-loathing Sith-Lord, but it's as close to to STAR WARS as we'll ever get again...LOL...and you have been SCHOOLED by the KING (note bitch THE as in SINGULAR) of TALKBACK! THWAAAAAAAAAAAP! (Legolas' arrow, hitting it's mark to signal my departure - thank you, fair Elven Lord)
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You're the new bitch of talkback. In fact, talkback is no longer talkback in your prescence. It's "Bitch-back". I've seen over ten posts from you on a single article. Most of which was trivial bullshit. You have nothing interesting to say. YOU yourself are not interesting in any way. I don't care why you feel the need to blindly defend your film of CHOICE. You post as frequently as a Buzz Maverick or a Cormorant (who I haven't seen in some time), but you say NOTHING. LEAVE. I'll say it nicely...please...
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*wheeze* cos vaan SOOOO NEEDS a 'leader' to teach him how to WIPE HIS BABY ASS!!! a 'KID' leader at that!!! Hey vaan I hear Two Towers is gonna be the one where your NEW PIMPLY KID teaches his pimply subjects how to beat their maggots into a scaaaary Balrog shape so as to frighten their grandmas. Good Christ you spotty little fool,get your butt back over to the Howard Whore talkback and stick to chatting with fellow hobbits about which track gave you Elijah Wood. FINAL ROUND FOR FANS THAT DON'T REQUIRE A LEADER : LUCAS 1 JACKSON NUFFING
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Dec 30, 2001 10:09:44 AM CST
You could have at least asked me something difficult...
by angryalienqueen
Okay, no swearing, no trolling, no insults. In terms of the challenge, they are unnecessary, a lot like TPM. The straight story - The Phantom Menace should have known what it was a movie about. It had no real heroes, and no real villains. It should have picked a lead character and tried to represent their main viewpoint - NOT Anakin - because we all KNOW what happens to him, unless we've spent the last twenty years living on MARS. Anakin should be presented as slightly dangerous from the very start - and that means no ending galactic confrontations with slapstick accidents. Anakin should be presented as 1. cool, but 2. someone a little lonely, a little freaky, a bit OFF. Luke was lonely and a little off, and it didn't do him any harm. Needless to say, the virgin birth should go. Anakin's dad could have died in some war against the Hutts, that could be why he and his Mom are slaves. Cus here's another thing - I found it morally repugnant that the Jedi tolerated slavery in the old republic - I thought that was an Imperial thing. They had the ship parts, what was wrong with just taking his Mom with them when they left? Watto has no moral right to keep her - or maybe he does in this bizarro universe, I dunno. It struck me that she got left behind purely for something to happen to her in the next movie. Someone like Obi-Wan, or Padme should be the hero - but you never get to the good stuff with Padme because she's part of Lucas' "Woman in disguise" schtick, so you never really get to know her, especially with the weird voices and horrible costumes. So, pick a viewpoint, any viewpoint - let's go with Obi-Wan. He's a good bet. He's played by Ewan McGregor, who is talented. He goes with his master to Naboo - and how about instead of rowing over trade agreements, which isn't even important enough to kick off major war on this planet usually, they could argue over territory. Or that Amidala is a usurper and Darth Maul ought to be king - or anything at all EXCEPT TRADE AGREEMENTS. Obi-Wan bonds with the queen, disguised as one of her handmaidens to escape. Maybe even a nascent sexual tension there, she could have a crush on him. They can even keep Jar-Jar, just cut at least half of his annoying CGI comedy routines. See, I'm generous. They go to Tatooine. Instead of hiding in the basement of the ship fiddling with midichlorian charts (midichlorians... threw me right out of the story with a bang... they should go) Obi-Wan should be getting to know Anakin, who is cute and lonely, but also a little SCARY. Bad things should happen to anyone that seriously tries to cross him, as well as good things to people he likes. He's supposed to represent Balance in the Force, isn't he? NO-ONE should call him Annie, unless they want Omen-type accidents happening to them. Plus, this would then give CONTEXT to the Jedi Council's decision to not let him be trained, making it look like training him would be a bad idea, instead of just making them look like a bunch of prissy, sneering assholes out to victimize poor "Ani", which is how they came over in the movie, (including YODA). Qui-Gonn trains him secretly, though, because loose cannon Anakin is clearly more dangerous than not, but also opening himself up to the sins of deceit and disobedience. Meanwhile, Darth Maul has been following Padme on Tatooine, sees that there is something special about Anakin, and tells Darth Sidious. Sidious tells him to capture the boy at all costs, and bring him back alive. So Anakin stays out of the final space battle and is part of the Jedi standoff at the end, about to get dragged off to an evil Dark Side fate after Qui-Gonn josses it and is rescued by Obi-Wan, who promises to train him in Qui-Gonn's honour. Credits roll. Its not perfect, cos I'm not a well-paid Hollywood script-writer, but it covers the basic relationships and plot points, or all I can be bothered to on a Sunday afternoon. Anakin should be morally ambiguous and in danger and DANGEROUS, (as you could expect from Darth Vader) and slightly distanced from the viewer, but nevertheless cute and winsome. He doesn't mean to make stuff happen in a way that alienates him from his peers. Also, as a fatherless slave child, shouldn't he be a little angrier about that? Obi-Wan installed as the main narrative viewpoint... that'll do. For a first pass. And little bullshit touches like Anakin building Threepio and R2 appearing should go. They are meant to provide continuity between series, when they just provide plot holes. Well, this is old news and the movie is out now, and rewriting other people's original stuff is lame anyway, but it was fun as an exercise. You know, I REALLY wanted to like this movie.
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when you fell out the idjit tree and hit every idjit branch on your idjit way down, not only did you climb back up for some more of that thar idjit fun, you decided it would be a GREAT IDEA to POST YOUR SORRY LITTLE EXPERIENCE!!. Lord save us from these dull cliche-ridden anti Lucas assault-by-numbers posts. FINAL ROUND FOR FANS THAT DON'T REQUIRE A LEADER OR HAVE TO RELY ON SILLY BILLY CLICHES : LUCAS 1, JACKSON 0
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I know that my comment has been said many times, many ways, but some movie fans need to GET A LIFE. Yeah, TPM was no masterpiece by far, but it's not GL's fault if so many losers based their entire reason to live on upcoming 'Star Wars' films. It seems that the only people who enjoyed TPM were those that allowed themselves to have fun. I'm a casual SW fan. I own some figures, some stuff, the movies, etc., and when I saw TPM, I bought popcorn, bought a Pepsi, and just sat back and watched. I didn't try to liken the experience to the Second Coming of Christ, like so many empty-lifers wanted to do. No wonder some of you can never be satisified. You're looking for some grand movie experience to fill other empty spaces in your lives.....and it ain't gonna happen! Notch saying, ride the big one....
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Just read his last couple of posts, totally his style. WHIP-TASH (the sound of the Balrog's whip blinding those fools who think TPM was a GOOD movie)! KA-CHING(the sound of money ringing in New Line's cash registers, despite the idiots claiming it has "no legs")! LOL, bitches, bitches, BITCHES...
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AngryAlienQueen, that was a good insight into how TPM COULD have been. Good plot points, focus on the characters and villains, a better feel for the universe that existed before the Empire...I liked what you had to say. I think there is still hope for the series. Parts of TPM I really liked, including even some of the senate scenes etc...I still felt that elements of the Old Republic were on display and I liked that. I just regretted (in addition to all the kid-pandering crap) that we didn't see more about how the old order was. That would have made the future events much more tragic. I'm not terribly excited about AOTC anymore but will still happily see it in the hopes it will surprise me, and it may well.
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guess I've just been schooled. :)
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According to Dark Horizons, who in turn got the info from Nsync-land.com and Prequel-Spoilers, the musical group "Nsync" will appear as Jedi Knights in the upcoming Attack of the Clones.
(Insert your own joke here) -
LOL...so this IS true? Bitches, bitches, bitches... did ye not see the DECREE the KING made in recent days? That Lucas' kids were behind ANI'SYNC for TPM II? LOL! And now we get confirmation that N'SYNC are JEDI KNIGHTS! LOL! Now bitches...really...LOL...there is NO DEFENSE around this one. I don't care if they dont have any lines, if you can barely make them out (lemme guess, they're on the Jedi Council, right? LOL..I mean, it's obvious his KIDS are making these movies, so I'm sure they WHINED until 'the boys' got the best spot available...lol), or whatever -- this confirms it STAR WARS IS DEAD. It'll be great in 10 years when boy bands and all things current are of the day as 1983 is today. Y'know, BITCHES, when a decision like this will be even MORE laughable (yes, BITCHES, with time and distance, this will look even LAMER...lol, or is that ILAMER?). Seriously, GENERAL JACKSON needs to brow-beat Lucas and crew and get TPM III out of his hands! "Save us GENERAL JACKSON, you're our only hope!" SCHOOLED! Oh bitches...silly Twatty Nelson bitchy-bitches, how does it feel to be SCHOOLED not only by the KING and his subjects, but to be SCHOOLED by Lucas himself? LOL...of course, Lucas wasn't TRYING to school you, he's just now become walking, talkin self-parody, so it seems every decision for future Ep's of DUCK TALES IN SPACE will result in your bitches wearing ten years of doubt, confusion and anger, all with Lucas special "I thought it was good idea," special sauce all over your chops. LOL... As my loyal subject VAAN said, GENERAL JACKSON (along with the rest of us) just have to wonder - How many TIMES can Lucas push the self-destruct button? LOL...He had US ALL by the SACK! All he had to do was make a STAR WARS MOVIE! That was it! LOL! Oh, bitches. Bitches, bitches, bitches...don't worry, it's a new year, a new century, even... Yes, there is hope - it's called GENERAL JACKSON and LORD OF THE RINGS. You, BITCH, we're SCHOOLED by the KING of Talkback...but moreso, you keep getting SCHOOLED by your Daddy! LOL!! "Please George, Don't Hurt 'Em!" ---George (taking a break from TPM III script): "What d'ya mean? Cory Haim can act, and I see no reason why as a young Han Solo he couldn't have been a dancer." G'nite, Lucas, G'nite, ILAME, thanks for playing, but Regan ain't in office anymore, and all you're doing is making Ewan McGregor a confused man - LEAV HIM ALONE and give him to GENERAL JACKSON. LOL...there's gotta still be a part of some kind they can film in put in the flicks, even if just rehabilitation as a man of Gondor. LOL... SCHOOLED! WHIP-TASH! (Lucas, beating you bitches with the Balrog's bullwhip, thinking it'd be a good idea)
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I'm really sick of people saying that weak dry boring movie is gonna be the next star wars has the world lost their dam minds I mean think about it frodo(aka michael jackson is on a journey with his gay friends to destroy a plastic wedding ring. and you call that the next star wars, lord have mercy.
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Scene: Anakin has inadvertantly crashed his fighter inside a ring-shaped Commerce Guild starbase. Surrounded by Clones, he accidentally fires a proton torpedo, blowing up the Spacestation's shield generator and saving Naboo.
Anakin: Oops, I did it again.
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Scene: Amidaala and Anakin are alone in her chambers.
Amidaala: You are a jedi, Anakin, pledged to your order. If they hear of our relationship, you would be cast out.
Anakin: We could keep it a secret.
Amidaala: We'd be living a lie. I couldn't do that. Could you Ani?
Anakin: Quit playing games with my heart! -
...a friend of mine is one of Christina Aguillera's dancers and hangs out with her a lot. She says Christina is working on a song for the AOTC Soundtrack, called "I'm A Jedi In A Bottle".
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Jan 01, 2002 11:30:50 PM CST
Lucas brings on AngryAlienQueen to fix craptacular elements of n
by truffle_shuffle
You have tons of great points, AngryAQ: First off, picking an interesting leading hero was, I feel, paramount to a "beginning" for SW. Come to think of it, where are all the heroes in this movie? You have two very bored and boring jedi (who really accomplish nothing except get killed and tolerate Jar Jar), a Queen who mumbles a lot and pretends to hold power (And she isn't even the damn queen after all..WHAT?!), Jar Jar (nuff said), the Gungan leader who spits a lot and ebonics his way into idiotically helping a kingdom that would have put them in concentration camps and torutured them if they knew where the gungans were hiding, blah blah blah - etc etc.. and then you have Anakin.. sorry, "Annie". He has a girl's nickname. He screeches "yippee" a lot. He has all the evil qualities of "Rudy" from The Cosby Show. Fuck that, he has all the nasty qualities of Miss Good Ship Lollypop Shirley Temple tapdancing for Jesus! They even look alike! What does Anakin do?: TOTALLY by accident, he blows up an entire space station. He befriends Jar-Bitch. He abandons an SW God C-3P0 like he was a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll.. He has ZERO (actually, Negative 8) acting ability and comes off as a Brian Bonsall/Macaulay Culkin knock-off with more midachlorians than you can shake a stick at! Where is our Darth Vader? Where's the ominous foreshadowing? Is it in the scene where baby greedo and abused orphan #1 do the Amazing-Gay-Super-Prance while Annie glides to the pod race finish line? nope. Is it in the scene where Annie pisses his pants as Yoda tells him he really IS a worthless slave-boy and should go home to his Virgin Mary mama? Nope. Is it the scene where he uses the force to tear Watto's ass off and make him wear it like a hat!!?? NOPE, BUT I WISH I'D SEEN IT SOMEWHERE! He's an orphaned SLAVE with a mom who tells him he's the son of God who lives in squalor and hates everything about his condition!! So what does he do?? He gives cute smiles for the camera and shits out one-liners like a lost olsen-twin.. the boy lisps his way into the hearts of blind lucas whores, 5-year-olds and golly-gee soccer moms around the world! Sick sick sick.. !There are four (main) things that ruined this movie: Jake Lloyd, Jar Jar Binks, boring/bored actors and total lack of interesting plot. Unfortunately if I made my own Phantom Edit it would consist of the pod race followed by the credits.. And no, I'm not Mercier but I feel oddly proud someone said that! To further support AAQ's points: Trade Agreements = Rediculously boring.. Midachlorians = Rediculously STUPID and unnecessary.. AAQueen's amateur script is 600x more interesting than billionarie Pork Lucas's shitfest, and she only took a few minutes to write her post. Proof that Lucas needs to get co-writers and a replacement director for EP3 as quick as possible. Hopefully Angry Alien Queen is hired instead of 4,000 yes-men and a half-retarded 5-year-old girl with a tinfoil pirate hat.
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Jan 02, 2002 11:32:48 AM CST
Now he has finally lost the plot...what did the humble fan do to
by the red avenger
I am sorry - but NSYNC in AOTK as JEDI's???????? If I had read it on the Talkback I would have dismissed it as simple rumour and laughed my head off - but I didn't. I heard it on National Radio in the UK - and it's not a rumour.
Thanks George for killing the magic.
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RA -
LOTR = ownzorz
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bitch
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can't believe all you fan boys missed this one - on the TPM DVD - "the Begining" documentary, Lucas says that the film should be able to be told with just visuals and music - so shouldn't bad dialog be considered part of his legitimate artistic vision?
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wazzup!
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