Roswell 3.9 FAQ

What’s it called?

”Samuel Rising.”

Who’s responsible?

Teleplay is credited to super-talent series creator Jason Katims.

What does TV Guide say?

“In a heart-tugging Christmas-themed episode, an autistic boy approaches a startled Max (Jason Behr) and speaks for the first time in years, prompting Max to question whether the child is a link to his own lost son. To find out, he involves himself in the boy's life. In other events, Isabel (Katherine Heigl) is intent on making her first Christmas with Jesse (Adam Rodriguez) as perfect as possible while also trying to shepherd the annual holiday festival to success. To that end, she recruits Maria and Liz as elves to help Michael, who's playing the part of Santa. In addition, Kyle meets his father's new girlfriend for the first time.”

What is TV Guide not telling us?

Jim Valenti’s new girlfriend is barely 21!

Jim Valenti is really dating a girl half his age? Or is Kyle just making a misguided assumption?

Oh no. The former sheriff, it turns out, likes ‘em young and hot. Young Shelby Prine attended high school with Isabel.

The big news?

The episode is riddled with ambiguity, and it turns out the autistic kid may not actually be channeling Max’s boy. Yes, the tot calls Max “daddy” in the Crashdown and – though we are told the kid cannot draw - draws Max a picture of a flying saucer. But, disappointingly, this is pretty much everything the kid wants to convey.

Max haunts the Crashdown again? Does this mean Liz’s dad has forgiven and forgotten?

It does not mean this! Max reveals in the teaser that he’s still banned from the diner. He’s visiting Liz in defiance of Mr. Parker’s edict.

Speaking of grown-ups, does Max’s dad continue to close in on the kids’ big secrets?

This particular storyline is not pursued this week.

Did Michael and Maria really break up in 3.8?

They did. Their breakup does not, however, prevent them from traumatizing many local moppets, who come to witness Santa humping his blonde elf in the toyshop.

Who is first to call Iz “The Christmas Nazi”?

That would be Michael.

What’s good?

The way the Michael quietly mocks Jesse, who thinks he’s going to be able to watch Christmas-Day football while cohabitating with his new, pageant-obsessed bride. Jim’s manly turkey-stuffing technique (if you know what I mean). Isabel’s campaign of tight, indulgent little smiles. Maria and Liz’s tight, indulgent little elf outfits.

What’s not so good?

This episode isn’t nearly as great as last year’s “Roswell Christmas Carol,” which saw Max nearly kill himself to heal a ward full of cancer kids. (But, really, how were they going to top that?)

How does it end, spoiler-boy?

We bear witness to another New Mexico snowfall.

Herc’s rating for “Roswell” 3.9?

***1/2

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:

• ***** better than we deserve
• **** better than most motion pictures
• *** actually worth your valuable time
• ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
• * makes you quietly pray for bulletins

I am – Hercules!!

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