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MORIARTY Reviews LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!!

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

So this morning I saw New Line's highly-anticipated LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, right?

I cannot stress this strongly enough: do not see this movie.

If you do, it will ruin you for everything else.

Films you've seen before, films you're waiting to see, films you have on DVD... it doesn't matter. All will pale by comparison after you finally lay eyes on Peter Jackson's visionary masterpiece.

As the credits rolled sometime around 2:00 this afternoon, I sat motionless, shell-shocked. There were about ten or twelve other people in the Chaplin Theater, but I couldn't tell you what they looked like or what reactions they had. It feels like my eyes have been seared by three hours worth of raw imagination somehow burned into the emulsion by the sheer force of Peter Jackson's will, like there are images etched there now that I cannot shake, that I do not want to shake. I close my eyes and I see a rush of moments, little details that pulled me into Middle-Earth with an intensity of belief I haven't felt since I was seven years old. I have called friends up out of the blue, emotional today, dying to tell them about the movie. I feel like Jimmy Stewart at the end of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE running down the streets of Bedford Falls, screaming and hollering like a crazy man because of the joy that fills me up. I am spilling over, drunk and delirious because my faith has been restored. FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS isn't just as good as you've heard; it's not just as good as the hype says; it's not just a brilliant movie.

With utter confidence, I can say that FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS is one of the ten finest motion pictures it has ever been my pleasure to see.

Okay, I can already hear you rolling your eyes and getting ready to dismiss this as fanboy ranting.

Hold on a second, okay?

Let's go back over my record here on AICN. I've been rabid before, no doubt about it. One of the most effusive reviews I've ever written was for the first rough cut I saw of Brad Bird's THE IRON GIANT, in January of '99. I stand behind that completely. I think that film's a classic, the best of that particular year, and important in terms of American animation.

Never once did I say that I considered it one of the ten best films ever made. Never even suggested it.

I went completely apeshit mental when I saw the first EPISODE I trailer in the theater. I read that piece now and I blush. That's freakin' love you're reading there. But that was for a trailer, and I certainly wasn't the only person who went nutty for it.

My review for the actual film was far more tempered, cautious even. I started it by saying, "I feel a great disturbance in the Force tonight." I had misgivings about much of the movie, and I admired some of it as well. My feelings about it are pretty much the same now, and many people who went ballistic to one extreme or another have found themselves somewhere in the middle on the film now. I never had that moment where I proclaimed the film was some towering shining perfect thing. I never gave in to the hype.

I was excited about FIGHT CLUB before anyone I knew because of the Jim Uhls script that I read. Even when I heard miserable buzz about it from crew members who had moved on to other films, I was convinced there was something special en route. Early reviews got me very excited, and my two FIGHT CLUB reviews (it's one of the few films I went back to discuss again) still sum up my feelings on the movie. They're passionate, totally heartfelt. It's not for everyone, but it certainly was for me.

And in all these moments that I've liked a film or loved a film while writing for AICN, I've stayed away from certain hyperbolic traps. My infamously unfinished '90s lists made room for me to talk about any number of films because I believe that each year produces more than ten films worth talking about and remembering, and I hate limiting myself, shutting out interesting pictures. I've always been nervous about going too crazy about something, worried that I might hype it to a point where it couldn't deliver for an audience member.

For the first time, I don't have that fear.

I can't hype you up too much for FELLOWSHIP. It's that good. It's dense with detail, richly imagined, beautifully performed. The casting is exquisite, down to the smallest role in the film. The design of the thing is breathtaking. I found myself lost in the corners of the screen this morning, marvelling at the depth of Middle-Earth. This isn't some set, some backlot invention. This is a place, a real point in time and space that Peter Jackson has somehow managed to invade with his cameras and his actors. Actually, even that's not true, since these don't feel like actors. The faces may be familiar, but that's Gandalf the Grey. That's Frodo Baggins. That's certainly Samwise Gamgee. Who else could they be? I spent three hours with them, and I certainly believe they are who they claim to be. And those locations... I didn't realize half of those towers and castles were actually standing in New Zealand. Hell, I didn't realize the Shire was real. But I saw the evidence of these things with my own two eyes today. Rivendell... Lothlorien... the Mines of Moria... these are remarkably preserved, all things considered. I'm fascinated to learn more about the animal wrangler that had to handle the Ringwraith's horses, the Cave Troll, and the Balrog. Must've been a tough gig. Still, getting to visit such amazing places in the flesh is an adventure I envy each of the cast and crew, whether they're indigenous like Gimli and Legolas and the Hobbits, or just visiting like Boromir and Aragorn and Isildur.

What I'm trying to say in my own muddled and overexcited way is that the Age of Diminished Expectations is over. We may not have even realized we were living in it. Being a fan of modern film sometimes feels like living in THE MATRIX. There's this truth we try not to acknowledge, and we go out of our way to talk around it, to rationalize it away. But after sitting through FELLOWSHIP, it's impossible to keep up the charade.

Blockbusters suck.

God love 'em, the modern blockbuster is pretty much crap. Right across the board. Oh, sure, there's moments of glory in them. That's why they're blockbusters. And there are classics of the genre. STAR WARS. EMPIRE. RAIDERS. JAWS. These are great movies, movies that require no rationalization, movies that deliver on every level every time you watch them.

But somewhere along the way, the dream died. The Indiana Jones sequels suck. Yes, they do. Yes, they really do. Stop arguing. They do. And so does JEDI. Oh, sure, it's STAR WARS. And the Vader/Luke/Emperor stuff is great. But Ewoks? Jabba's palace? The drunk and surly Han Solo who seems to have replaced EMPIRE's charming rogue? Please. Don't try to sell me that.

See, we've all gotten used to diminished expectations, and we've made the adjustment. We accept a certain level of suck in our blockbusters. We just take it for granted. We will forgive a hell of a lot, it seems. JURASSIC PARK is a great example of a movie that, for the most part, sucks. But that T-Rex scene in the rain and the Raptors in the kitchen and that first shot of the Brachiosaur... that was magic, and it made us feel so good that we forgave. BATMAN is a piece of crap. It's claustrophobic, it seems almost completely retarded in terms of character, and there's not five minutes of film that feel like they were shot anywhere BUT a soundstage. But people liked Nicholson. And the suit was groovy. And that was enough. And we forgave.

When I saw RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK for the first time, there were at least ten moments that skewered me, that shot me in the forehead with the golden light of knowledge. Those moments were so right, so perfect, so glorious, that I would have forgiven anything. The reason RAIDERS stays high on my all-time list of films is because I didn't have to forgive anything. In addition to those ten moments, all the characterizations work. All the locations are perfect. All the set pieces deliver. Indiana Jones is flawlessly imagined as a character, instantly iconic. It's magic. It's lightning in a bottle.

We shouldn't have to forgive.

We shouldn't have to set our sights lower.

We do it every day with entertainment. We allow ourselves to be easily entertained. We watch bad TV because there's nothing else on. We buy shitty music because it's packaged well. And above all else, we swallow the hype over and over and we watch bad movies. We don't just watch them; we flock to them. We help them break box-office records. We give people entire careers making bad movie after bad movie. All because we have gotten used to it.

And then this mad little Kiwi invites this amazing group of actors and artisans to spend a few years at the ass end of the world, and everything changes. Three hours of film runs by, and you realize that miracles are possible. You remember what it meant to be in true awe of someone's ability to create. You see real magic performed right in front of your eyes, and your first reaction is disbelief because you simply can't be seeing what you're seeing.

I thought I'd spend the first part of the film adjusting, getting used to Jackson's version of things. I was sure there'd be a million little idiosyncratic personal things about the film that would make it too quirky for the mainstream, too cultish to ever cross over.

Instead, from the opening frame to the last, I believe FELLOWSHIP is an example of flawless, intelligent storytelling that can be understood and appreciated by anyone, anywhere.

I honestly can't imagine why anybody would be anything less than overwhelmed by what's here.

Galadriel's voice, haunted and sad, speaks of the change in the world that she feels as Howard Shore's score starts, soft at first, and we see the title for the first time: LORD OF THE RINGS. What Galadriel says may well be one of the most important things in the entire first film, as it hints at something that Peter Jackson also alludes to in the press notes for the movie.

"I am interested in themes about friendship and self-sacrifice. This is a story of survival and courage, about a touching last stand that paved the way for the ascent of humankind." - Peter Jackson

This is a story that is about not just one race, but all races, setting aside their differences in order to stop evil in whatever form it takes. There is something truly doomed about the elves and the hobbits and the dwarves, and it took me until the middle of the movie to figure it out.

Middle-Earth is not some other planet.

Middle-Earth is not meant to be fantasy.

In the work that Tolkien wrote and the film that Jackson made, Middle-Earth is a point in the real past of our world. Middle-Earth existed. These things we're watching are not fables meant to teach some simple moral lesson. These are the events that led to the rise of man in the world. These are the days in which all these amazing creatures and beings gave themselves so that we might pick up the pieces and continue on.

And they all knew it was happening.

And they did it anyway.

There is a profound sadness to the film, a sense of a permanent autumn rolling in. Jackson is wise to start the film with history that has already passed into myth as far as most of the denziens of Middle-Earth are concerned. He shows how easy it is for truth to become past, and past to become legend, and legend to become myth. The story of Sauron and the forging of the One Ring is explained in crystal clarity with a startling glimpse of battle on a level we've never seen on film. No one has ever marshalled film armies of the size we see here. The way the Ring passes into the hands of Isildur, the heir of Gondor, and the way it escapes him, finds Gollum, and eventually ends up in the possession of Bilbo Baggins, it's masterful visual storytelling. At no point is there a crush of information that's impossible to digest. Instead, Jackson and his co-writers Philippa Boyens and Fran Walsh have done a remarkable job of boiling this all down and laying it out. Things are repeated. Peter gently prods at just the right moments, connecting things, underlining the significance without drawing attention to his own directorial hand. By the time the prologue ends, I believed completely in the world and in the story. I was ready for anything.

And when we find Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) leaned up against a tree, reading a book, not a care in the world, it is enough to take my breath away. Here is the last second of real quiet before the storm, the last moment of innocence. This is when everything begins. This is that first step out the door that Bilbo spoke of. And it all starts with a hobbit reading and the sound of a wizard singing on the afternoon wind.

Gandalf (Ian McKellen) rolls into the Shire just in time for the 111th birthday party of Bilbo (Ian Holm), and as he's joined by Frodo, we see him ride across Hobbiton, giving us a look at the place and the people who live there. It doesn't feel like a place that was built for a movie. It feels lived in. It feels like a place you could go and visit, like a location they found. The Shire is achingly beautiful. Gandalf is a "disturber of the peace," according to most of the good hobbits in the area, and Gandalf defends himself against the accusation by Frodo, making mention of "that business with the dragon." It's one of many subtle allusions to THE HOBBIT, Tolkein's original novel, and it adds to the sense of history as things begin. I love the scenes of Bilbo at his birthday party, telling the story to a group of adorable hobbit children. Holm is remarkable in his brief time onscreen, as is most of the sprawling cast. Peter Jackson seems to apply actors to roles the way Van Gogh applied paint to a canvass; there's a sort of madness to it when first viewed, but there's a perfection that is revealed upon closer scrutiny. The birthday party is a wonderful set piece to open the film with. Jackson finds grace notes in almost every shot of the film, always giving us some revealing detail, some perfect touch, some reason to keep watching. When Gandalf and Bilbo come face to face after the party in Bag End, it's our first hint at how emotionally powerful the film is going to be. Visual power is well-established by this point, but during this scene, there is such remarkable work by both actors that all thoughts of effects and editing and makeup and such disappear. Suspension of disbelief is something that you are sometimes required to work harder at, depending on the film. Here, there's no choice. These actors believe it completely, and they draw you into the world. Bilbo is corrupted by the Ring, but on a subtle, personal level. Only when he tries to leave it behind does the Ring's grip finally reveal itself.

And Jackson has made The Ring a character, no doubt about it. The Ring has a will of its own. It has a hunger. It grows and shrinks depending on whose finger it wants to fit. It can find its way onto a finger at just the right moment. There is a sense of malice to its behavior over the course of the film. It is constantly trying to escape Frodo after he accepts the quest to destroy it. It tempts everyone it comes in contact with. It has a voice, a whispered hiss, the sound of seduction. Frodo's relationship with The Ring is played out with an almost eerie grace by Elijah Wood, who steps up as one of the finest actors of his age working today with this film. As good as he's been in the past, the work he does here is transforming. He is an astonishing avatar for us, the viewer, a hero worth following. Much of the film is defined in the way he interacts with the rest of the cast, and it's the support they offer to Wood that makes each of them great in their own way.

Shall we talk of McKellen first? He is a marvel, the very model of a great film actor. I've never been lucky enough to see him onstage, but he's considered a genius in terms of live performance. That does not always make someone a good film actor. McKellen has done wonderful work on film before, but in this particular role, he comes to full and vivid life in a way I've never seen. He conveys the full range of emotion in the smallest of gestures with those incredible, expressive eyes of his. He uses his smile to precise effect at several points in the film. Gandalf's love of the hobbits is very strong in the film, demonstrated in any number of gestures and looks, and when he stands up against a threat, whether it be from Saruman, a cave troll, a wave of goblins, or a Balrog, he is imposing, a genuine power. There are a number of moments where we see Gandalf thinking, where we see him make connections with information, and McKellen lets us in, behind his eyes. He is the glue that makes the insanely complicated first half of the film work so well, seem so effortless. And his exit from this particular chapter of the series is iconic, a moment of such pure and perfect cinema that even now, I can't believe I saw it onscreen. When I saw the Mines of Moria sequence on the Cannes reel earlier this year, some very clever edits had been made to it so as to preserve some of the best moments for the final theatrical experience. The Balrog we see in this film, this creature of shadow and fire, is truly unique in the annals of film. It is as epic an image as Harryhausen's Talos, but detailed in a way that even Harryhausen wasn't able to accomplish. When it inhales, and its insides seem to light up with flame, or when it produces a whip made of flame, this is an entirely new and convincing form of Hell made real, a nightmare sprung to terrifying life. And McKellen faces it down in a way that is believable. He makes us fear for him because we can see it in his eyes: this thing is real. This threat is serious.

And speaking of eyes, what of Viggo Mortensen? How is his performance as Aragorn, also known as Strider? At first glance, he seems to be playing the familiar scoundrel/warrior archetype we've seen before, the Han Solo figure sitting in the pub, taking it all in. But Mortensen, an actor I've been hypnotized by ever since his explosive work in Sean Penn's THE INDIAN RUNNER, is determined not to play what we expect, and as a result, Aragorn is no film hero I've seen. He has a heart open enough to confess his love for Arwen, a sword arm powerful enough to face down five Ringwraiths or a small army of Uruk-Hai by himself, and a sense of duty strong enough to resist the siren call of the Ring when sorely tempted.

Sean Bean, on the other hand, is a revelation here because of the brilliant way he captures the conflict that rages inside Boromir. No easy bad guy, Boromir is a good man who stumbles. He believes in the glory of Gondor, and his description of it is one of the film's best quiet moments. His redemption at the end of the film leads to one of the most wrenching film deaths I've seen in quite a while. Each arrow that is shot into Boromir, I felt deeply. The sound design during this scene is one of those little details that makes me giddy about Peter Jackson. The performances between Mortensen and Bean in those final moments are electric and quite moving. I've always hated Sean Bean's work in the past. Quite literally, I've felt that he ruined films in the past with his mere presence or lack thereof. Here, though, I found myself weeping bitter tears for this weak man who finds unexpected strength at just the right moment.

There were two other moments that sent tears down my cheeks. There's a moment of powerful beauty when Frodo first sees Bilbo in Rivendell, sitting on a bench, THERE AND BACK AGAIN open on his lap. It hit me somewhere deep, and I can't even explain why. It just suddenly felt so real to me. And at the end of the film, there is a moment between Sam and Frodo that convinces me we are going to see them rewarded with Oscars in 2003 as Best Actor and Best Supporting. I had lunch with Sean and Elijah about two weeks after they returned to the U.S. after shooting the movie. It was me, Mongo, Harry, and Sam and Frodo. Sitting at that table, what I saw was a pair of tight friends, guys who had shared some amazing adventure and had reached that point where they had a private language. They spoke about the unique nature of the shoot, and they spoke in glowing terms about the rest of the cast and Jackson in particular. I've talked to a lot of actors over the years, but I don't think I've ever seen anything like the obvious love and faith they felt towards these films, and seeing the final result here, I can understand why.

I've been dying to know about Christopher Lee in the film. I'm an admirer of his from childhood, and I was thrilled when he was announced as part of the cast. Now that I've seen his work as Saruman, I am in awe of Jackson. He cast Lee perfectly, and he gets great work out of this legendary actor. When he and McKellen face off against each other in the wizard's duel that has purists worried, it is a terrifying display of what Saruman is capable of. It's even more frightening when you think back on it. We see Gandalf do some amazing things after escaping on the back of an eagle, and we see some amazing displays of strength from him. When you remember how easily Saruman threw Gandalf around, you get a real sense of how big a danger he can be. He breeds the Uruk-Hai at the request of the Eye of Sauron, and there is an unholy pride in his work that makes him one of the most memorable madmen I can remember in any film.

Then there's Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys-Davies, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Cate Blanchett, Liv Tyler, and Hugo Weaving. Literally all of the major speaking cast does wonderful work at some point in the film. Astin's Sam is a faithful and courageous fellow, played to perfection by an actor I feel is highly underrated. I hope people finally start to appreciate how generous a performer he seems to be. Bloom and Rhys-Davies are appropriately badass, stalwart representatives of their respective races. There are hero shots of Legolas that will make any sharp-eyed viewer giddy, and I have no idea how they managed to pull off the height trick with Gimli so consistently and gracefully. Boyd and Monaghan are not just comic relief as Pippin and Merry; far from it. They are drawn into events in a comical way, but when things become serious, they reveal hearts every bit as stout as those of Frodo and Sam. Merry in particular has an ability to focus, to really make a difference. Blanchett's Galadriel is quite wondrous, and her moment of temptation when facing the One Ring is both rapturously beautiful and very upsetting. When she resists the temptation and speaks of her plans, saying, "I will allow myself to diminish now," it's achingly sad. Like the rest of the elves, she knows their days in Middle Earth are ending. Liv Tyler speaks in sheer music as Arwen, her lilting Elvish dialogue being one of the most direct sensory pleasures of the film. Hugo Weaving is precise and hypnotic as Elrond, and when we see him in the opening sequence fighting Sauron or in a flashback as he tries to convince Isildur to destroy the One Ring while they have a chance at the lip of Mount Doom, he is impossible to look away from.

Trying to name a favorite moment from the film is an exercise in futility. So many images and incidents come rushing up at the same time, each of them enough for me to recommend a film by itself. There's the first shot of Gollum we see, or the way the world looks when Frodo slips on the Ring, or the sight of the Black Rider at the side of the road, so close to the Hobbits, its presence causing the very worms to boil up out of the earth in fear, desperate to escape. There's the moment when Arwen faces down the Black Riders and they try to cross the river. There's the sequence with the moth. There's the Watcher in the Water heaving its massive body up onto the shore of the lake in pursuit of the Fellowship. There's Gandalf sitting on the back of an eagle, soaring across mountain peaks. You may think I'm spoiling things, that I'm giving too much away, but I've barely scratched the surface.

I could go on and on, and I might. I might have to see this film again and just pick up where I left off, praising that which has just begun to sink in. But right now, after this first viewing, I have a feeling that I've only had a few times in my life. I have found that elusive first high all over again, and I am positively sodden with the possibility of film. If I could embrace Peter Jackson tonight to say thank you, and if I could shake his hand, I would. I would commend him on having become a world-class filmmaker, a giant. Then I would jump him, wrestle him to the ground, and eat his brain in an effort to absorb his knowledge. This guy has just upped the stakes for everyone else. After the movie today, my buddy and I went to Mel's in Hollywood, right across from the new Hollywood & Highland project. We sat and ate and talked about LOTR, trying to absorb everything, trying to come down from the experience. As we stood to leave, I checked my pocket to make sure I had my keys, a nervous habit more than anything. I've had the same keychain, an oversized plastic Darth Maul, since about March of '99. It's been impervious to all harm. Yet today, of all days, as I checked on my keys, the keychain simply snapped, and Darth Maul fell to the floor, landing face down.

I looked up at my buddy, and an impish grin lit him up. "I'd call that symbolic. Definitely."

I'd like to close with a quick heads-up to New Line: the print that you showed Wednesday at the Chaplin Theater at Raleigh Studios at 11:00 AM should be pulled from circulation. There were horrific soundtrack problems on two different reels. One was at Rivendell, and one was just after leaving the Mines of Moria. I'm sure this isn't an overall mastering problem. It just sounded like the soundtrack itself was encoded wrong for those particular reels. The rest of the film was breathtaking in terms of sound design, so I have to assume I just lucked out and saw a bum print for that 40 minutes or so. It was frustrating, but even something as glaring as that couldn't derail the incredible work that was unspooling before my eyes.

I am impatient now, worse than every before. I want THE TWO TOWERS. I need RETURN OF THE KING. I want to take every step of the journey with Frodo and Sam and Gandalf and Aragorn and Pippin and Merry and all the others. I want to meet Wormtongue and Treebeard and Shelob and more.

And in the meantime, I vow to quit settling. I have decided that I am done forgiving. I have seen that it can be done, that real perfection is possible in film, and I am not willing to settle anymore.

Peter Jackson, you magnificent bastard, you have broken my heart and given me more hope than you can possibly understand all in one fell swoop. I am in love with your movie. And for the record, the ten films I love most are:

1. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA

2. BRAZIL

3. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

4. 2001

5. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

6. FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

7. THE ROAD WARRIOR

8. DUCK SOUP

9. TAXI DRIVER

10. MANHATTAN

That's not hyperbole. That's not oversell. That's the instant recognition of something that will be part of my life from now until I am no longer watching movies or drawing breath, whichever comes first.

Thank you, Peter. Thank you, New Line. Thank you, cast. Thank you, crew. Thank you, Jack.

I am exhausted now, but I know that I will not sleep when I close my eyes. I will see this movie play out again on the dark screen of my sealed lids. I will play the score and I will lay in bed, and I will see the movie again.

So you see what I mean?

Don't see this film.

You'll just ruin yourself for everything else.

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Not first :(

    by Typing Dutchman

    Damn :( I want to see this movie...now.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:13 a.m. CST

    OK Mori says it's good

    by MGTHEDJ

    and he's one of a few I trust around here. too bad i have to work the 19th. Will see it on the 20th.----later-----m

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:14 a.m. CST

    Ok, so FOTR is the greatest movie ever! Now that that is out of

    by xavier masterson

    I theorize that Rocky was responsible for the downfall of his multi-million dollar empire when he got Paulie the robot for his birthday. This simple act would have repercussions that would not be fully understood until Rocky V.------------------- --------------------------------- -- From the first moment the robot is revealed it immediately shows signs of being far more advanced than any robotic creation of its time should conceivably be. It also displays all the signs of artificial intelligence! How can this be? Could Rocky have mistakenly purchased a top secret military experiment in A.I. soldiers? Could lightening have struck the robot producing an "artificial soul" within its mechanical innards? These are questions we may never know the answer to. Perhaps Rocky VI will shed some light on this subject.----------- -------------------------------- --If Rocky had just payed more attention to this robot monstrosity he brought into his home I think things would have turned out much differently. The signs were visible from the first moments the robot began to interact with Paulie. The chilling, emotionless voice emanating from it's insectoid head might have been proclaiming it's love for Paulie but any reasonable human being knows that all robots are essentially evil. The conflicting love Paulie/hate mankind programming would have caused serious malfunctions within it's neural net causing the robot to display severe schizophrenic reasoning. It is here that the seeds of Rocky's downfall were planted.----------- --------------------------------- ---The robot loved Paulie. What better way to show it's love than to help Paulie get out from underneath Rocky's shadow. So just before leaving for Mother Russia to train Rocky for the bout with Ivan Drago The robot secretly suggested to Paulie that he invest Rock's millions in hopes of doubling Rocky's already massive bank account while amassing Paulie a fortune of his own. No longer having to depend on Rock for his livelihood the robot felt Paulie would then devote himself entirely to her. In it's twisted artificial mind this would finally allow her and Paulie to fulfill their wildest dreams together. But as I stated earlier all robots are inherently evil so it could not help itself when it gave Paulie horrible investment advice.--------------- --------------------------------- --Rocky's celebration of being victorious against the Soviet's "superman" was short lived when, upon returning from Russia, he learns that Paulies bad investments have cost him his entire fortune. In the aftermath Paulie couldn't bring himself to tell anyone that it was the robots idea so he told Adrian that he had unwittingly gave the money to Rock's accountant and he had lost it all in the stock market. So Forced to retire due to brain damage and now broke Rocky and his family return to their humble beginnings in the slums of Philadelphia not knowing that it was a robots love that had been their undoing.---------- --------------------------------- --Apollo, Clubber,Ivan, none of them could defeat Rocky. In the end it was a machine that brought down the champ. If there is a more terrifying allegory of man against machine than the Rocky saga I can't think of one.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:15 a.m. CST

    second or third or twentieth...

    by darth sars

    can someone make time go faster? shit... i don't even have tix for the first day! i'm seeing it on the 22nd. it's going to be UNBELIEVABLY hard not to crazy hearing everyone's reaction those first few days...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:26 a.m. CST

    here is the deal

    by khaotik

    we will chase the moriarty till apocalypse if movie sucks.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Great!

    by SDHTF

    I can't wait.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Interesting

    by talbuckin

    I find interesting how in all reviews, in a way or another, Lucas turns out. And usually in a despective way. as if LOTR, (which will be a masterpiece, i am positive) has the need to surpass Star Wars, or empire or jedi.... To me, the fact that you say the "indiana jones sequels & jedi sucks" and stops all chance of arguing just makes me feel about your review in the very same way. Because I happen to love "Temple of Doom", and actually as I said LOTR will be great. But is it great because jedi, doom or crusade sucks? Then this movie must be pretty bad and not because the other movies are bad, it is because it needs other movies to stand out. I frankly dont think that Lucas next movies, no matter how good or bad they are, no matter if they are Star Wars related, will be compared to LOTR. And frankly I believe that the Epidose II trailers are better than the LOTR trailers. But please, lets talk about LOTR.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Hallelujah

    by Clare Quilty

    For decades - nay centuries - to come 19. december 2001, will be remembered as the day, when all of humanity cast aside their petty quarrellings, and in unity praised the magic that is Lord of the Rings. Judging by the recent 100+ reviews I'd say, that anything less will be a disappointment.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Xavier, what the HELL was that all about ?!

    by SilenceofFreedom

    Please don't speak again. P.S. - Theres no way "Vanilla Sky" will be better than "Open your Eyes". That movie is phenomenal

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:34 a.m. CST

    this is one time and place i wouldn't expect someone to brin

    by Jon L. Ander

    but what the hell, it's been to long. I think i'm going to have to be at fucking work when this movie comes out, which is mildly annoying.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:38 a.m. CST

    Moriarty's Finest Film Review Yet

    by Brian 2000

    And that is saying a lot.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:38 a.m. CST

    great stuff, but..

    by europop

    ..that review is surely worthy of best film of all time! How can 5 other films possibly receive more gushing reviews than that? If I don't prefer the film to Empire Strikes Back I will be disappointed.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:39 a.m. CST

    6th?????

    by 19th

    Moriaty, Is your top 10 list in any order? If so the why is FotR at No 6, if it is THAT good?? Just Curious ....:)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:48 a.m. CST

    It's 6th Because...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I've just seen it. I've had a chance to live with the other films, but this one is still new to me. Who knows what spot it'll hit once I've had a chance to see it again and again and really digest it?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:49 a.m. CST

    Now THAT was funny

    by Clare Quilty

    Thanks Xavier. You just saved my day with your post.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:51 a.m. CST

    and

    by talbuckin

    the fact that 7 samurai is not on that list and the road warrior (which I love) is, just puts this review in a very delicate place, in my opinion, of course. And obviously not even a single Vincent Dawn film in that list. now thats a real problem.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:52 a.m. CST

    Out of Place product placement...

    by Sgt. Bilko

    Did the blatent product placement in this film bother anyone else? I mean, I'm sure Lenders Bagels are delicious, but do we really need to see Gandalf and Frodo splitting one over dinner? Seems out of place to me...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Fellowship of the Ring

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    So it really is quite good then?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Yay!

    by Guitarman555

    It's that good, eh?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:58 a.m. CST

    what the?

    by bluemartini

    Pleeeaaasseee! 2001 AND Lawrence of Arabia? Surely these can now be recognised for the over-blown, pompous, unitelligable POS that they are. And don't feed me that crap about breaking new ground... while that's a good thing, it's just a shame that it had to happen with such shitty movies. I'm sorry Dave, I can't allow you to say that. Other than that I agree whole-heartedly, hope this movie kicks the shit out of ep2.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:03 a.m. CST

    sacrifices

    by reni

    I should have read this at home Mori, this almost brought tears to my eyes....

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Attention UK Ringers!!

    by 19th

    Thanks for your answer Moriarty, I hope it hits your No.1 spot soon. BTW, UK residents make sure you tune into BBC1 (23.45) tonight for Film 2001. Special Report from London Premiere. There is something sad in knowing that PJ won't be able to enjoy the film on the same level as us. Just a thought.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Moriarty .....You disappoint me.

    by sparticusmaximus

    The moment Moriarty brought up SW, the review lost alot of creditability in my book. I'm sure the FELLOWSHIP is a good/possibily great movie.....and compared to what Hollywood churns out.....MINT. But you had to bring up SW Moriarty....You had to bring out your worst qualities as a fanboy. You made it clear on a number of occasions that you want to distance yourself from AICN goon talkbackers...but you had to do this "despicable thing". You had to add fuel to this stupid competitive thing going on between these two mythic tales. It's bullshit and beneath your talents as AICN's swiftest writer. I'm ashamed for you not having confidence that your pure unabashed love for PJ's opus would be enough to convince us this film is SPECIAL. No you had be a whiner....WHAAAAAAA....Lucas raped my childhood....and PJ saved it......DESPICABLE Moriarty....Despicable.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:12 a.m. CST

    That wasn't a review.

    by vroom socko

    That was The Word. That went beyond a review and came out the other side. I'm not even seeing this movie until 4:15 pm pst on Dec. 19th, and I'm already feeling the power of The Word. Let Moriarty's words become our battle cry; We will not settle.

  • That means it's worth 7/10 in my books, because neither of those two films deserves more. A New Hope deserves 8/10.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:20 a.m. CST

    No, No, SpartacusMaximus...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I think you misunderstand. Look at that top ten list again. See where EMPIRE is? See where FELLOWSHIP is? Does that look like someone who's crying about "Lucas raped my childhood"? RAIDERS is up there, too. I credit Lucas with awakening my imagination as a child. But it's been a long dry spell, and Jackson is being welcomed to the table as one of the greats. I'm not knocking Lucas from his perch... I'm making room for someone new. Read it again. You'll see that you flew off the handle for no reason.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:21 a.m. CST

    MY TOP-5 FILMS EVER

    by thx777b

    1.2001: A Space Odessey 2.Blade Runner 3.Star Wars Original Trilogy 4.Citicen Kane 5.Close Encounters of the Third Kind ================================== 6.thx1138 7.Fight Club 8.The 7th Seal 9.Rider of the Lost Arc 10.Apocalipse Now

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Moriarty.

    by sparticusmaximus

    And I'm not saying Moriarty is not being honest about FELLOWSHIP. But he is known to embellish. Check his reviews for the STORY OF US and THE MESSENGER. He's a good writer, but don't expect everything he expressed to be the way we all experience this film. He is not an AUTHORITY. Go in level-headed and I'm sure PJ will knock our socks off. But don't BELIEVE THE HYPE.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:31 a.m. CST

    MORIARTY:It was wrong.

    by sparticusmaximus

    Moriarty, it is wrong because this "FANBOY WAR" over these two tales is bad enough, without AICN writers (especially one as respected as you)adding FUEL TO THE FIRE. Sorry but you were being passive-aggressive...which is even worse in my book.##################### And look I'm not trying to be a party-pooper shithead. I'm just disappointed.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Ease down, ease down

    by Toshlines

    What's wrong with the man placing this film in context? I mean hype and expectations for this film are reaching rather silly levels on this site. A lot of people who use this site have more than a passing knowledge of Star Wars. For them the issue is something to be considered. Rivalry seems to have only come from ignorance and immaturity which, funnily enough, is also a key feature of a significant number of people who use this site. I certainly wouldn't think that by declaring ROTJ sucks, then ranking TESB as a better film than FOTR Moriarty has fanned any particular flames. It looked a lot like diplomacy to me. I mean, have a sense of perspective on this - Tehanu from TORN has not exactly sworn to get medievil on Josh from TFN, has he? I see no drive by lightsaberings. If anything the 'rivalry' has been for the most part friendly and even where it has degenerated into slanging, there has usually been someone with enough wit and articulation to make it worth a read. Stand up Wilko and Kubrick, I salute you.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Excellent review, as always.

    by EvilNight

    I'm going to enjoy this movie. I suspect I'm going to enjoy the sheer chaos these films cause at the box office and in hollywood almost as much as I enjoy the movie itself. We have the best fantasy film ever, the best book to film translation ever (obviously), and a movie capable of shaking up everything that has come before it all in one film... and top top that off, it's LOTR. Never was there a more deserving work of literature chosen for such an honor. If this thing shakes everything up that much, I suspect even Tolkien would have liked it (grudgingly), regardless of the minor changes.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Moriarty's reviews have been meaningless since his whiny "A.

    by Indiana Jones

    That whole episode was hilarious! Ever since that review, I have known not to put too much stock in anything Moriarty reviews.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:46 a.m. CST

    To Believe or Not To Believe The Hype

    by Ambient_Noise

    Moriarty, your review brought tears to my jaded eyes. Now, as a previous Talkbacker said, if this movie doesn't deliver like you said it would, I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you for manipulating the emotions of your readers.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:47 a.m. CST

    monkey

    by buster29

    i'm a monkey

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Geez, Mori cried at A.I.?

    by Ambient_Noise

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Thankyou Moriarty, and a question

    by bluelou_boyle

    You expressed what I have been feeling for years : We have been accepting at best mediocre hollywood blockbusters and shrugging our shoulders. If we had Lucas and Spielberg 20 years ago, why cannot we have similar filmakers today ? It looks as though we have now. Have you read Alexander Walker's negative review ? (He who raged against Fight Club as a dangerous facist film). I sent it to Harry, and have posted it in the'final FOTR reviews' talkback. Interested in your opinion on it. Thanks

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Someone who cries at A.I.

    by Ambient_Noise

    Now I see where Mori is coming from. If he can cry at a lameass flick like A.I., I'm sure he'd go apeshit over LotR.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:50 a.m. CST

    What Shall I Do?

    by Miss Aura

    Great Review Moriarity, and nice to see Lawrence of Arabia as your fave film. I am in a pickle, I was fortunate to see the film at the Uk showing and having not read TTT or ROTK, I have a question. Do I read these books or wait for the movies? Having read FOTR, I have to say that Peter Jackson has made it better than Tolkien's classic, and I am worried that reading the books would spoil the journey which is told in the imagination of Mr Jackson. All I can say to people who havent read FOTR, please dont until after you view the film. The film is so much better and I am thinking that this is the same outcome if I read the next 2 books. I dont want to spoil the enjoyment of the visually stunning world which Jackson has laid down to us and reading these next 2 books would take a bit of glamour off the screen. I just wish I had never read FOTR in the first place, so I think I have the answer myself. Peter Jackson is a god and has laid the gauntlet down for other movie makers. Is it worth watching the Oscars? This is going to clean up and if it doesnt it will be the biggest cock up in Oscar history. If McKellan doesnt win, then I myself will never watch them again.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Hey, Ambient...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I'm trying to be friendly about this stuff, but comments like yours bug me. Did you read my A.I. review? Obviously not, since you misread someone else's interpretation of it and have decided that I "cried" about the film. I shed no tears for that confused, muddled work of mediocrity. The angry poster above is upset because I didn't like A.I., not because it made me cry. If you're going to be outraged about my opinion, at least check to see what my opinion was.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Ooops, my bad

    by Ambient_Noise

    Sorry Moriarty. Just read your review in the archives. I feel like such a jerk...<smacks head with rolled-up newspaper, repeatedly> Sorry, man.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Dammit, that wasn&#39;t your A.I. review!

    by Ambient_Noise

    Feel so stoooopid.....

  • Over the years certain movies don&#39;t hold up over time and multiple viewings.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Miss Aura

    by Toshlines

    Read the books or not read the books and rely on PJ&#39;s imagination? READ THE BOOKS. Give yourself (and Mr Tolkien) credit. Reading and using your imagination will always be better than the film. If anything, the film will spoil the enjoyment of the visually stunning journey, Mr Tolkien laid out for ME. Sorry if that sounded patronising. Mind, Hannibal was probably a dead heat; both versions were rubbish.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Theory of Relativity

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    I suppose all three should really be considered as one movie, rather as the book is considered to be one book. And I agree, it is naive to talk about a big geek event like LOTR as if Star Wars never existed. Relativity is context in this case.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Theory of Relativity

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    I suppose all three should really be considered as one movie, rather as the book is considered to be one book. And I agree, it is naive to talk about a big geek event like LOTR as if Star Wars never existed. Relativity is context in this case.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Oh hell......

    by NUXX

    Just....Cant....Stay.....Away!! Well, First - Thank you Moriarty. I knew that your review would be every bit as insightful as this was. Even with whining little bitches like Spartacusmaximus & Indiana Jones lurking in TB, who like overblown turds, are impossible to flush down the toilet. They just lay there, looking at you. But in the end - They

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:27 a.m. CST

    And so starts the name-calling

    by Clare Quilty

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:28 a.m. CST

    To read or not to read, that is the question...

    by EvilNight

    Look, you&#39;ll have to decide for yourself if you want to read the books first. I wouldn&#39;t, but that&#39;s just my opinion. If you read the books beforehand, you risk runing the movie by nitpicking every little detail and because your imagination of ME will not jive with Jackson. If you watch the movie first, you&#39;ll probably enjoy it more, but then you run the risk of having the movie change the way you would envision the works on the books, and possibly ruin the books for you on some level. I&#39;d watch FOTR, then go read the whole LOTR trilogy, because believe me you&#39;ll be dying to know what happens... waiting three years to find out is going to be painful. You really must read the books at some point because there is more in them than can possibly be fit into a film, and because Tolkien&#39;s writing style is unique and interesting enough that it should be experienced... much like Neal Stephenson or Douglas Adams, Tolkien&#39;s got his own style.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Im with you mori!!!

    by ANGELS-EGG

    Well im convinced im gonna like this film now.Im a freelance animator I reckon Iron giant still is the best american animated film in years (yes, better than Pixars efforts in my opinion)severly underated at the box office (no justice!!). ESB is the best star wars film (With ROTJ I always forward to the end when I watch it because the final duel between luke and darth mixed with THAT music sends shivers down my spine!).Laurence of arabia is a masterpeice n&#39;uff said! Your tastes are similar to mine.. On george lucas...hmm You know that the ORIGINAL trilogy is going to be butchered dont you? Look at how uneven the look of EP1 is to ESB.On the Ep1 dvd he was demonstrating a cut and paste technique with the actors (a good example was terance stamp "I never met natalie portman" but there he is WITH natalie portman!) When hes finished on ep3 expect the old gang pasted on new CGI landscapes maybe a new CGI chewie,yoda...whatever in a new special edition.I aint jokin no sir! IT MAY HAPPEN! george HAS lost the plot seriously! Dont be fooled by the AOTC trailers it looks just like TPM.I beleive van gogh once said that the true artists KNOW when to quit,not to over paint.The same applys to lucas hes gone too far already.Its a shame that I had to resort to getting the pirated dvd to enjoy the ORIGINAL trilogy.But its the ONLY way!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Thanks Toshlines & EvilNight

    by Miss Aura

    I&#39;ll read the books and yes EvilNight you are right when it comes to wanting to know what happens next. I think I will treat myself to an early Christmas present courtesy of Tolkien.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, This becomes the Great.....

    by JAGUART

    You&#39;re one of the few reviewers I actually trust. Good to hear good news from you.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Rocky Rings?

    by RooBarb

    OK - I&#39;m seeing the film (THE film) next week. I&#39;ve read the reviews and tried with little success to avoid feeling &#39;hyped&#39; - but now the adrenalin is kicking in and I&#39;m in the dreading/drooling phase of expectation that LOTR is going to work, and work really well. As a film lover I&#39;m excited on many levels - not least because this was/is such a *amazingly* difficult piece to tackle. I&#39;m certain that PJ&#39;s courage and vision is what is tearing up the screen for people. I hope the Academy recognize this. ----- So predictions for box-office are all over the place - however, I think that the three-film-cum-one-masterpiece theory could well mean that LOTR in it&#39;s 9hr rep version could well become a feature of cult cinema. Much as the Rocky Horror Show runs in cinemas and has become part of film lore. Looks like LOTR will do for film culture what the book has done for literature... most important film of the 21st Century anyone? --- Ultimately we as a collective of Geeks weened on the &#39;promise&#39; of the blockbuster (eg: Star Wars) have in a generation watched the films we loved dissolve under the corporate pressure to make &#39;faster, better, cheaper, bigger&#39; (chanted as a mantra by the galle(r)y slaves flanking Hollywood) - and Lucas whether you love him or loathe him, is more responsible for the direction of film (at times very cool, at times miserable) over the last 20 years than any other person in film. If Mori is right, and I do trust his opinion, than LOTR will be remembered as something MUCH bigger than simply a &#39;on the money&#39; transliteration of Tolkien. I can&#39;t wait. --- RooBarb the High, Hard and Mighty!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:41 a.m. CST

    HO, HO! Me pipes are playing merrily!

    by AOTCFacesmasher

    Moriarty&#39;s review has me drunk with anticipation! Although, as I have been drinking much ale, I didn&#39;t have far to go! HO, HO, HO! <<<<Drunken Fifes playing>>>> Ah, my friends, is it not a glorious time? Let us dance and make merry as if tomorrow may never come! But it will and when it does, we will travel to Middle Earth and make our homes in the Shire! I say to all, we must round out this week in high fashion. Come to the Squire&#39;s table and warm yourselves by the fire! There is much ale, much roast beast and me missus will prepare you a Shepherd&#39;s Pie and Toad-in-the-Hole! Ho, Ho, Ho! It is a time where magic is real! RING OUT, SOLSTICE BELLS!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Jedi, Jones Sequals

    by Ewan

    FUCK YOU HATERS

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Miss Aura...

    by Huneybee

    Sounds like we are in the same situation here...Having read FotR, I wonder if I should read T2T or just wait. The book was "okay", but what I have seen of the movie far exceeds anything I imagined. I will see FotR on the 19th and make my decision regarding the remaining books afterwards. I have the feeling, if my reaction is similar to yours, that I may just wait for the cinematic versions. I have only preferred one other movie to the book in my entire life, so this is quite an experience for me and has raised my anticipation to almost unbearable levels.____Excellent review, Mori, and congratulations on your trip to Middle Earth!____Bee

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Ahhhhhhhh

    by MinasTirith

    Thanks Moriarty! Wonderful. But before I read the TB, that I am sure I will enjoy, I would like to pass along this link. An online petition to get Peter Jackson to write and direct SW-EPIII. Yes, you are correct, it will never happen. But it&#39;s the symbolism of it all, much like Maul falling from the KeyChain... http://www.petitiononline.com/dgkomxpq/petition.html

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Lord of the Rings Holiday Special (2004)

    by JAGUART

    Aragorn and Gandalf battle evil Sauron forces to help Frodo reach his imperiled family in the The Shire - in time for Life Day, their most important day of the year!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:17 a.m. CST

    LOTR Holiday Special

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Featuring washed up comedians and over-exposed musicians in unfunny, non-related situations! You know, I saw the Star Wars Holiday Special on TV when it first aired, and as the years went by, the amount of people that even believed it existed when I told them about it grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller... it just seemed impossible to them that such a hidden, awful thing could exist. Thankfully StompTokyo stepped up to the bat and verified my sanity: www.stomptokyo.com

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:18 a.m. CST

    I&#39;ll be looking forward to that, Jaguart!

    by Lardass_Hogan

    Especially the segment with Bea Arthur as the barkeep in the Prancing Pony. After Sauron closes it down, she sings a song to all the patrons, including special guest star Harvey Korman! The whole special ends with Arwen singing a song about "Life Day" to the tune of "Concerning Hobbits." Truly touching.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:19 a.m. CST

    by Maceox

    Top Five Movies: 1. Lawrence of Arabia 2. The Mission 3. Ghandi 4. Fight Club 5. The Adventures of Baron Manchuason

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Huneybee

    by Miss Aura

    I am with you, I found that FOTR was an Ok Book. This is why I am asking this question and having read your post, I find myself in a situation which could ruin the experience of watching the trilogy on the big screen in all its glory (and what a vision this is). I have the feeling that I did wrong in reading FOTR and I dont want to make the mistake in reading the others. To go into this film without any knowledge of the story wouldve been a life changing experience. It is that, but not on the epic scale that it wouldve been. Choices, Choices!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:27 a.m. CST

    LMAO

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Wow... in what Universe do you advise people *not* to read Tolkien? And just watch movies? Even good movies? Look, Tolkien rocks. The start of FOTR is a bit slow (that said, I dawdled over it last time I read it and loved it) but still, the books kick major arse! And unless you want to wait a year to find out what happens next, I suggest you read them. There&#39;s nothing wrong with being familiar with the source material, I&#39;m very familiar with it, but you have to have the mindset that it will spoil the movie for you in order for it to spoil the movie, like the purists do. Read the damn books, maybe don&#39;t start FOTR before seeing the film, but read them. They are cool. I have spoken.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Moriartytack!

    by Kraven

    Ah, bliss from the best writer at AICN (or several other places come to think of it). Loved the anecdote about the Darth Maul key chain. Ignore those diehard Star Wars trolls, let them rot, locked in the past that they have made their prison. All of a sudden, the future looks bright today, crystal-clear and full of hope; after such a terrible year in the real world, it is apt that a fantasy should bring us so much joy and solace. There were other gooid movies released this year, but so much crap. Let the makers of mediocre garbage beware, for we shall have no truck with them; we now have one film to rule them all, one film to find them, one film to shame them all, and in the darkness bind them, in the land of Hollywood, where the Suits all lie.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:34 a.m. CST

    SW Holiday Special

    by Monster Rain

    To quote Boromir, "There is evil there that does not sleep." What a steaming pile of Bantha poo-doo that was. I too, thought that I had feverishly dreamed it after a particularly heady night at Chuck-E-Cheese&#39;s. However, my nightmare came true when a friend produced the tape for me. Seven hours into it (it IS that long, isn&#39;t it? It sure feels like it), I had lost all control of my faculties. My sneakers were stained with lunch and my underwear looked like a shoeshine rag. The sheer awfulness cannot be adequately described. How about the 25 minute opening segment done ENTIRELY in Wookie-speak? Or the wretched Jefferson Starship musical number? OR the quasi-porn VR segment with Diahann Carroll? For me, the lowest point is Han Solo&#39;s moist-eyed professions of love for Chewbacca. When he says goodbye on Chewie&#39;s balcony, I was bracing myself for a liplock. Anyone who thinks that "The Phantom Menace" is the nadir of the "Star Wars" saga, think again. "The Holiday Special" makes that film look like "The Empire Strikes Back" by comparison.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:34 a.m. CST

    books

    by MinasTirith

    It&#39;s hard to say, I have already read them about 7 times, I know what&#39;s gonna happen. And what happens is truly awesome and takes you on journeys least expected. There is so much coming that it&#39;s hard to just tell someone go read it. Cause then the movie will be kind of ruined for ya. I wonder what it will be like for those that have not read the books? So many friends who I have been pestering have that advantage of going into the movie as Virgins of Tolkien. I think after the first movie that if you don&#39;t pick up the books, just through temptation, then something might be wrong with you. Like the ring, the books will draw you in.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:35 a.m. CST

    "Should I read the books? Well, DUH!

    by Shai-Hulud

    For Bob&#39;s sake, people! OF COURSE you should read the books. "I read the first one, should I read the second?" Of course you should! The books are not like the Star Wars trilogy--they are not sequels to each other. They are not separate entities. They comprise one long story--one which is simply so large that it takes three normal-sized books to accomodate it. It&#39;s like asking whether or not you should read "Grapes of Wrath" or just see the movie. We are not talking some tossed-off D&D fantasy novels here, folks. We are talking masterpieces of twentieth-century literature! Tolkien is up there with Hemingway, Steinbeck, Faulkner, Fitzgerald, Ferber, etc. as one of the GIANTS of modern lit. He should be read (and in good schools, is read) along with Shakespeare and Dante. He is probably the greatest fantasist of our times. The Ring trilogy, along with The Hobbit and the Silmarillion, are the single most fully-realized fantasy world ever to have existed. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, pales in comparison. The only thing that even comes remotely close is Herbert&#39;s "Dune" series. Everything else, in science fiction or fantasy, is but a wan imitation of Tolkien. All modern fantasists--ALL OF THEM--Piers Anthony, Terry Goodkind, M Z Bradley, Pratchett, Gaiman, Cherryh, Tanith Lee, Anne McCaffrey, all the way down to the miserable hacks who pump out Star Trek and Forgotten Realms books (especially the latter) owe everything they are to Tolkien. The Ring Trilogy should be on the shelves of every home in the civilized world, right next to Moby-Dick and The Scarlet Letter. To those of you who claim fan status but have never read the trilogy, I say you are NOT fans. Nor are you truly educated. No true SF/Fantasy fan can have NOT read the trilogy. Even if you don&#39;t like fantasy, you should read them if only because of their place in literary history. It&#39;s rather like claiming to like Shakespeare having never read Hamlet, or claiming to be a christian whilst never having read the Bible. As for those of you who complained about spoilers, GET OFF YOUR DUFFS AND READ THE BOOKS! Life is more than movies! If you have time to read the latest Grisham potboiler or the latest Star Trek toilet-paper-in-book form, then you have time to read the Ring Trilogy. I cannot overstress the importance of these books to twentieth century literature. Tolkien is spiritual godfather to us all, to all who love fantasy and storytelling, to anyone who ever rolled a twenty-sided die or thrilled to a lightsabre duel or marvelled to the adventures of a young magician named Potter. That said, thanks for the great review, Moriarty. You have never failed me in the past, and to know that you feel this strongly positive about the film gives me great hope. I&#39;ve been worried ever since I first heard of the project, but you (along with the other glowing reviews posted hereon) have set my mind at ease.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Thanks For Making Me Feel Puny, Mori

    by mrbeaks

    Now, *that&#39;s* a review! I still don&#39;t know if if it&#39;ll rank in my ever-shifting, all-time Top 10, but I have a distinct feeling that THE TWO TOWERS or RETURN OF THE KING just might end up in such vaunted company. And if you guys are having trouble dealing with a rave this effusive, please note that the Headgeek is seeing the film this morning.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Someone get me a bucket to puke in

    by Stuart

    I have tried to read the books, but they just don&#39;t pull me in. However, I&#39;m sure this is a fantastic movie that I&#39;m looking forward to seeing on the opening weekend. BUT I sure do wish everyone on this site would quit vibrating on such a high frequency. This is why so many of you aren&#39;t getting any; too much of yourselves and your own well-being invested in a movie. A MOVIE. I can just imagine a theater full of bearded 27-39 year old borderline obese men dressed to go to a Renaissance fair sobbing when they see Gandalf on the screen for the first time. On second thought, maybe I&#39;ll wait for video for this...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Great review Mori,

    by RenoNevada2000

    Though I don&#39;t know how you can keep Best Films list down to ten. Somehow, Maltese Falcon, Thin Man and a few others would be fighting for inclusion. Oh and Ewan. Nice post, well thought out and inteligently argued. You putz.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:49 a.m. CST

    It&#39;s quiet, too quiet.

    by Venture

    All the naysayers eem to have disappeared in the last week. I miss statements like, "This movie will gross $200 mil max."

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Irony

    by SpacePervert

    y&#39;know, for years and years every new hack piece of fantasy trash that dared to feature a bloke with a sword, and every APPALLING trilogy about a kitchen boy with leprosy chasing a magic maguffin aided by a short guy and a pointy-eared jessie has had a different hack writer on the back claiming "This is better than Lord of the Rings" or "Move over Tolkien" (usually Roger Zelazny). All the Star Wars guff is just repaying karma. Miss Aura, if you didn&#39;t like the book that much, fair enough, hang on for TT. I prefer the mirror of my imagination, but that&#39;s just personal taste. The books don&#39;t get better, they stay just as good (except no Tom Bombadil!) IMDB score 9.6, still rising. Must be all the press screenings.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:55 a.m. CST

    fluffygreycat and moriarty

    by quiscustodiet

    FGC- So,you&#39;re saying that at their heart all movies are about a Boy&#39;s Quest, and I quote " I think the simplest answer to your question, sir, is: Because there&#39;s no other story to tell." What about a crime movie like "Reservoir Dogs" or a comedy like "Duck Soup"? They don&#39;t seem to fit in your a Boy&#39;s Quest theory. I&#39;m not being a dick, here, I&#39;m just curious as to why you think that is the only story to tell. I&#39;m sorry Moriarty, you can ban me from the site for this if you want, but I cannot take your reviews seriously anymore. I like the site for some of the scoops you get but you, Harry and the rest of the gang seem to have become no different then Premiere or Entertainment Weekly. This site now depends too much on the big names to stay in business and to get the good stories that I think it may be too difficult to give bad reviews and the good review suddenly become orgasmic. Bottom line: I love the stories and the scoops but the reviews I have to take with agrain of salt.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:58 a.m. CST

    PETER JACKSON RAPES TOLKIEN&#39;S CORPSE THEN TURNS AROUND AND L

    by rev_skarekroe

    Nah, I&#39;m kidding. I just didn&#39;t think there was enough bile going around on this talkback. BTW, speaking of holiday specials http://modernhumorist.com/mh/0112/frodo/

  • No, I kid because I love. Mort, I enjoy your unabashed enthusiasm. The urge one gets when you see a movie that just fully clicks with you and you want to immediately run out and tell everyone is one of the greatest feelings in the world, ain&#39;t it? Just the sheer joy expressed in this review almost made up for the fact that this site is in dire need of an editor. Six days to go!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Wonderful review....remember when movies were entertaining?This

    by artie_fufkin

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:02 a.m. CST

    harry has a beer and cheets on AICN lovers

    by KneelBeforeZod

    you know... there is A LOT of other news to cover. is this "Ain&#39;t It Cool Lord of the Rings News?" No... now you&#39;re missing scoops on the X-Men sequel, Dark Horizons has refuted your Elektra story, and also all the details of an A.I. March DVD release are out... wow, i found none of that on this "cool movie news" site. but what i did find was a review by drew mcweeny. thank my stars and garters.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Sexual activity of SW vs. Tolkien fans

    by Chocky

    Someone should do a survey of SW and Tolkien fans to see who&#39;s getting the mostest. I&#39;m a Tolkien fan and I get laid on a regular basis, but I can&#39;t speak for the rest of my compatriots out there.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Giving up on the book, still planning to see the movie

    by zzyzx

    I tried. I really tried. Just get past the first half people said. I struggled, but I did. Now I&#39;m at the Council and it&#39;s not getting any better. This isn&#39;t a case where the universe is illuminating the story; the universe is the story. There&#39;s no character interaction at all after the birthday party. 200 pages of walking and they don&#39;t talk about anything but the history of Middle Earth and their quest. I can&#39;t take one more history of an object or character geneology. Fortunately, the movie might make Middle Earth more palatable for those of us who just don&#39;t care that much about who the oldest creature in Middle Earth was. Instead of endless pages describing the territory they&#39;re walking on, it&#39;ll be on the screen. All of the songs will be gone. It will just be the story, left to stand on its own. Maybe then I&#39;ll be able to see what the fuss is about.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Liv on Letterman tonight

    by Chocky

    According to the page at http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/ Liv Tyler will be on Letterman tonight. Early on I thought Liv would be the weak link of this movie, but it sounds like she did a good job. She was on Conan many months ago and spoke a line of Elvish, and so sweetly and expertly did she say the line a lot of my doubts were put to rest.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:14 a.m. CST

    A collection of AICN Tolkien haters

    by Venture

    I agree, the bile has been missing for two long. I&#39;ve repackaged the AICN greatest hits since the LOTR bashers have gone into hiding, hoping this movie will go away. My favorites: Nobody, I mean NOBODY has heard of this movie. This movie is too long for short-attention span Americans. Tolkiens misogynist work won&#39;t be seen by women. Tolkien&#39;s racist work won&#39;t be seen by anyone other than 14 year old white males. Peter Jackson&#39;s directorial style is not right for a mainstream movie. You LOTR faggots will cry when you see the piss poor box office revenues. Harry Potter will suck the audience away from LOTR. Star Wars Episode II will kick LOTR&#39;s ass! On a separate note, as a Tolkien fan, I have sex with women quite a bit. I&#39;m also a Star Wars fan though, so I have lots of sex with little boys as well.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:17 a.m. CST

    *chuckle*

    by EvilNight

    Lookit all the Tolkine haters whining like babies. Damn that makes me feel good. Humble pie is good for you, eat it now or eat it on the 19th, makes no difference to me ;)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:19 a.m. CST

    All of it.

    by The Mauve Frog

    I don

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:24 a.m. CST

    It&#39;s okay

    by SpacePervert

    I know lots of intelligent people who just don&#39;t have the attention span to read the century&#39;s greatest masterpiece. It&#39;s not their fault. The images to do not take flight behind their eyes. The songs remain flat on the page, the richness and depth does not draw them in, and Bombadil is just a tree-hugging embarrassment. They are to be pitied, not mocked or bullied. Peter Jackson deserves a knighthood, a sainthood and a mojo for bringing this story to all who have previously languished with lesser tales. Now here&#39;s a tip. If you can&#39;t face reading the books, get a copy of the radio play, which is still F***ING EXCELLENT.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Mixed feelings

    by Miss Aura

    Having heard most of you say that you must read the books, I am in 2 minds. On the one hand I read FOTR and the book is not one bit as interesting as the movie. The movie grabs you in, while I found with the book It was very very slow. I am not joking here, Jackson has outdone Tolkien. I am glad that I have not read the other 2 books, but I will AFTER the movies and only then. If FOTR: THE MOVIE is better than FOTR: THE BOOK which it is, in my opinion, I could see the other 2 being the same. IMO I feel sorry for people who know the rest of the story, because I have something to look forward to for the next 2 years. If a good movie is not released next year, then I know by around Christmas time, I get all the good movies rolled into one with The Two Towers and with me not knowing anything about the story it will be an offer too good to refuse. So I will put off reading the books until after the trilogy ends in cinemas. I am putting all my faith in Mr Jackson outdoing the books once again. I thank god I havent read them, as Mr Jackson is about to spoil me. Tolkien&#39;s book is for the 20th century, Jackson&#39;&#39;s movie is for the 21st Century. Whats that sound? Oh! Its James Cameron soiling his pants while he comes to terms with WHY he put Titanic on film only for it to be destroyed by a far superior piece of art. Like the boat itself, Titanic will never be seen again R.I.P. Long Live Peter Jackson.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Loving it or Hating it - Just like the book

    by RedCapitalist

    Folks, most of the reviews out there are head-over-heels in love with LOTR:FOTR, yet the ones that aren&#39;t completely trash it. This is exactly the same way it was/is with the book! I think people are either going to absolutely LOVE the movie, or they will absolutely HATE it....

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:31 a.m. CST

    MST3...huh?

    by Clare Quilty

    Who is this "Books" I keep hearing about? Anyway: Mauve Frog, what on earth is MST3K: The Movie? It&#39;s late, I&#39;ve been working for the past twelve hours and this abbrieviation is too much for my tired, worn-out brain. Please...help.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I don&#39;t need your pity

    by zzyzx

    I have my own books that bring me joy and happiness, books that have characters that I can relate to, books that make me think about humanity, how we relate to others, and what we could be doing. This one just doesn&#39;t happen to be one of them. My "lesser tales" are written by people who actually have an ear for dialogue and character, even if their universe building skills aren&#39;t as good.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Franz Lizt

    by Kraven

    1. The Searchers 2. Zulu 3. The Man Who Would Be King 4. Curse of the Demon (1957) 5. Goldfinger 6. North By Northwest 7. It&#39;s A Wonderful Life 8. The Third Man 9. The Seven Samurai 10. The Duellists. Just thought I&#39;d share.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Quality Street

    by reni

    Bottom line is people are finding The Lord Of The Rings a really great film. There&#39;s still plenty of room for Star Wars, Moriarty isn&#39;t using it as a whipping post, he&#39;s using it as a benchmark.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:37 a.m. CST

    TB and movie

    by The Mauve Frog

    I want to say how nice it is to actually be able to refresh my TB in less than three minutes. It&#39;s good to get in on it early. ______ Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie is a big screen version of the teliviosn show where some guy (named Joel or Mike) sits around with a couple of robot buddies (Crow, Tom Servo and once Gypsy) and watches a really bad movie to make fun of it. MST3K makes fun of a cut down version of This Island Earth.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Best movies of all time

    by Lardass_Hogan

    1. Mac & Me 2. Cloak & Dagger 3. D.A.R.Y.L 4. The Dirt Bike Kid 5. Electric Dreams 6. Garbo Talks 7. Hero at Large 8. The Razor&#39;s Edge 9. The Quest 10. Thrashin&#39; How "Fellowship" is going to find its way onto this list is beyond me. I mean, "Mac & Me" is TOTALLY original. Hell, Jackson probably got a lot of his special affects ideas from that flick! Cloak & Dagger? I mean c&#39;mon! Dabney Coleman in TWO roles? That plus a pack of Twizzlers makes for a Happy Hogan! The rest of the films on my list are equally brilliant. It&#39;s going to be tough, but as long as I have a big tub of buttered popcorn, it&#39;s all good.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:45 a.m. CST

    zzyzx

    by MrMsty

    Try reading "The Hobbit." It leads into Fellowship of the Ring nicely, and it&#39;s a quick, fun read. -- You know, Peter Jackson has everything he would need to make The Hobbit right now. I think every character that appears in both Fellowship of the Ring and The Hobbit would look about the same age in both movies. And so much of the design work could be reused.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Spoiler

    by WFCall

    DAMN! Not everyone out there has read the books Moriarty. Please post spoiler warnings about the death of major characters! Still excited about the film, but now I get to go into it expecting Sean Bean to die, Oh well....just please be more careful.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:48 a.m. CST

    L. Hogan,

    by The Mauve Frog

    You actually think that all those movies are better than Citizen Kane, Fight Club or any number of others (including King Kong)!? Where&#39;s the objectivity? _____ The Quest. Please.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Bunch of Guys of the Ring

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Book Review: Malexandria Age: I&#39;m not sure. Get back to me on that. BOOK: JK Tollen&#39;s "The Bunch of Guys of the Ring" Book Review: It was okay I guess. Ring Dweeb gets a Ring that does random evil stuff and has to go to Australia to destroy it or something. He meets a bunch of different guys and they spend a lot of time in dark places fighting stuff, which made it kind of hard to see what was going on. The Bow Guy ruled. Then they split up and go different places. Assessment: It was okay I guess.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:53 a.m. CST

    So, did he like it?

    by PKD

    I can&#39;t wait.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:53 a.m. CST

    books/trolls

    by Z of X

    As for the books...Whenever someone asks about them I always say READ IT! But there&#39;s no getting around the fact that there are parts of it that are difficult. Like any truly great work of literature, it takes patience and dedication to read it. Although, as it was said earlier, many modern D&D adventure novels have germinated from LOTR, they are merely watered-down instant gratification pulp compared to the one true book. If that&#39;s what you&#39;re used to reading (as I have over and over so I know what I&#39;m talking about here, Dragonlance,Pools of Radience, etc.) then expect to be bogged down with details that go way beyond simply being "descriptive." If you truly love fantasy, then at least read it for the historical value. As with Beowulf and Mort d&#39;Arthur, it is a clear and undisputed fore-father of this genre that we love so well. D&D would not exist if it were&#39;nt for LOTR. ********* There are some TB&#39;ers out there that really should come out and fess up. If they still insist on bashing this movie in the face of Mori&#39;s amazing review (thanks Mori) then they&#39;re either up to their eyeballs in denial or clinically insane. Either way, they&#39;d be entertaining. Ciao!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Tollen&#39;s books

    by The Mauve Frog

    Alice, how does the sexual tension between Axe Dude and Elf Bird&#39;s Granny work out in the book, does the review say?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Best Movies, you say?

    by Toshlines

    In no particular order: 1: The Swarm 2: Jaws IV: The Revenge 3:Alien Resurrection 4: Hook 5: Batman and Robin 6: Deep Blue Sea 7: The Postman 8: Judge Dredd 9:The Swarm 10: AI.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Mavue Frog

    by Lardass_Hogan

    Hmmm. Let&#39;s see: "Fight Club" was a manifesto for repressed homosexuality and a call to arms for the feminization of men. "The Quest" features Henry Thomas at the peak of his fame in a film with mystery, action and intrigue. Which one gets my $8.00? NO CONTEST. "Citizen Kane" was a run-of-the-mill love story. I mean, he meets this girl Rosebud, then you never find out who she is? I guess that was supposed to be for the sequel which Kane NEVER got made. The remake was better. "King Kong" was OK, but I&#39;m not the biggest Jessica Lange fan. Dino&#39;s produced better movies. Sorry, Mauve. I stand by my list. Quality films, all.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11 a.m. CST

    Frog

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    I don&#39;t know how that worked out, I had to go to the bathroom.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Did anybody see Elijah on Letterman the other night? -- What a P

    by Sloppy Slacks

    Don&#39;t get me wrong, I am a STRONG supporter of this movie, but Elijah just got on my nerves the other night. I was never even close to being the class bully, or bullying anybody years ago in high school, but when I saw and heard Elijah the other night, all I wanted to do was hang him up by his tighty whitey&#39;s to one of the clothes hooks in the locker room and steal his lunch money. The guy had a wimpy little voice, and granted, he was over in New Zealand for 16 months, but had an overdramatic accent like he had been there for 10 years of his life. Maybe it&#39;s because I was half-asleep when I saw him, maybe it&#39;s because I had a few Yuengling Lagers in me, but he seemed a bit feminine to me. I am the last one to care whether someone is gay or not, so don&#39;t get me wrong, I&#39;m not going in that direction. It&#39;s just the way that he carried himself walking in, sitting down, talking -- I was expecting that when he got up to leave he would skip off the stage singing "Tra-la-la". Oh, and I just wanted to slap the guy when he picked up his water from Dave&#39;s desk and said, "Cheers, mate." Anyway, I don&#39;t know, maybe I was just the product of a mother doing crack when she was pregnant, or maybe it was all of the paint chips I ate when I was younger, but this is the impression I got when I saw the interview. Anybody else see it?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Bin Laden

    by Z of X

    GOD DAMN THAT MAN! The "Smoking Gun" tape is airing right now. Unbelievable. SO ANGRY! FUCKING A!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Pax

    by SpacePervert

    Thanks for biting, zzyzx. I&#39;m just taking the pi$$, that&#39;s all. I&#39;m in agreement that PJ has improved the narrative, especially by giving Arwen more to do. For the record, fantasy fiction did quite nicely before Tolien with William Morris, Lord Dunsany, Robert E. Howard, Lovecraft et al but he did rather define the genre ever since, by infusing the folkesy British Isles fairy tale tradition with some good old Norse blood and guts.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:06 a.m. CST

    The Gods of Cinema love you, Moriarty. And so do I.....

    by Smugbug

    Damn fine review. Plus, I mostly agree with yer Top 10 list - however I have Excalibur in the slot where you have The Road Warrior. Oh, and I also include The Right Stuff in my Top 10. BUT, Lawrence of Arabia is and will always be my all time favorite movie. I do also believe that on December 20, after seeing FoTR, it will be my number two. I&#39;m so happy right now - because I think that I finally can end this cynism of H-town that has been growing inside me. Especially after this last summer. Oh, and I agree with Moriarty on his comments of the movies named in his review. TOTALLY.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:07 a.m. CST

    And The 10 worst are...

    by Kraven

    1. The Swarm "The bees. The bees!Why the bees? They have always been our friends!" Super Mario Bros 3. The Babysitter (despite Alicia Silverstone in the tub) 4. The Avengers (I&#39;ll bet Michael Caine is grateful now that they turned him down in favor of Connery) 5. Ishtar (Beatty and Hofman are not exactly Hope and Crosby) 6. The Phantom Script...er Menace. 7 Dungeons and Dragons "now is your time-ah to die-ah!". 8. The Hound of the Baskervilles (the dreadful Peter Cook and Dudley Moore version). 9. Plan 9 From Outer Space 10. Battlefield Earth

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:10 a.m. CST

    IHBT IHL HAND

    by zzyzx

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Oh Jerk Me Off!

    by Edward Rooney

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:12 a.m. CST

    CRAP-DAPPA-TASTIC!!!

    by twan_deeth_ree

    Holy shiiite! I keep having these spastice moments where I just really neeeed to see this movie. I&#39;ll be sittinG in my car on the way to work and have a minor freak-out! Great review, Moriarty!! I told myself about 3 weeks ago that I wouldn&#39;t read or watch any more about this movie until I saw it, but I had to read your take. I&#39;ve even been averting my eyes whenever a TV spot comes on for it (which has been increasingly frequent, as of late). SIX DAYS!!!! I can wait no longer!!! THIS IS TOTAL BS!! I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW!!!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Yeah..

    by Toshlines

    I had the Fifth Element in their at first (which represents the biggest let down I&#39;ve ever had from a film) but I used AI as I knew I could get a reaction out of someone. I say the first half hour of AI is brilliant. It feels like someone else&#39;s (i.e Kubrick&#39;s) movie. Then either because Kubrick had not worked out how the film was going to progress or becuase of increasing Spielbergisms, (I prefer to think of the latter) the film has a fall off in quality leading to a terrible end sequence. Just don&#39;t defend the Fifth Element.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Moriarty DO NOT PUSH IT

    by Kitan

    I

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Worst movie...

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Not quite, FluffyGreyCat, for I saw "Town and Country". Oh, and what the hell happened to Harry? Has he seen it yet?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:21 a.m. CST

    PLANT!!!!

    by MercilessMing

    Sorry, it wouldn&#39;t be a LOTR review talkback without one.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:24 a.m. CST

    harry

    by Z of X

    According to his countdown in his Gathering of Reviews last night, Harry should be seeing LOTR right now. Anyone know what time he&#39;ll be back to post?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Shall we make a pact, Miss Aura?

    by Huneybee

    <grins sheepishly> I must admit it will not be too difficult for me to comply. Despite all the sly insinuations that we are illiterate, unimaginative cretins for not being enraptured by Tolkien&#39;s writings, I have concluded that I would prefer to see T2T as a Tolkien Virgin. After watching T2T, I may change my mind and read RotK, but, by then, will be able to ascertain which method works best for me in relation to these movies.____I have read extensively over the years, including a great number of authors mentioned in previous posts and I do not believe a lack of appreciation for Tolkien will greatly inhibit my development as a person. It just means I did not like FotR OR The Hobbit, which I also trudged through, but am still quite capable of comprehending Shakespeare, Dante, Hemingway, Poe, and countless other acclaimed writers. Not only do I comprehend these authors, but I truly enjoy their works. In other words PFFFFTTTT <gives &#39;em a big raspberry>! =)____Bee

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:29 a.m. CST

    You are all a bunch of bum lookers!

    by MC Lovecraft

    Here&#39;s the ultimate Top 10 List of ALL TIME!!! 1. The Sword and the Sorceror (anything with Lee Horseley is A-1 material, baby). 2. Ice Pirates (I cried; touching, beautiful in its honest portrayal of a downtrodden people). 3. Hawk the Slayer (Jack Palance was robbed of Academy recognition for this masterful work). 4. The Dungeonmaster (Blackie Lawless redefines acting, the W.A.S.P. tune rocks, too, dude). 5. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (Kari Wuher proves her abilities, her maturity as an actress is astounding). 6. Breakin&#39; 2: Electric Boogaloo (a movie that bridges the gap between the races--the I Have A Dream speech by MLK didn&#39;t come close to this masterpiece). 7. Heartbeeps (Andy Kaufman, who would later go on to portray Jim Carrey in the moving bio pic Rubberface, is here at the top of his game). 8. Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (Molly Ringwald is a sci-fi Evita as the sassy Niki the Twister in this great work). 9. Laserblast (I can&#39;t believe they made us wait seven years for the sequel to this awesome film about teenage alienation). 10. Leprechaun in the Hood (brutal honesty about life on the mean streets--touching). And there you have it, the best of the best.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:32 a.m. CST

    sly insinuations

    by Z of X

    No offence meant on my part fellow citizens. LOTR is a great book, but I guess it all boils down to opinion. Regardless, the movie rocks, and it&#39;s great day for fantasy lovers everywhere. Shade and Sweet Water to all!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:36 a.m. CST

    I can&#39;t believe it

    by Toshlines

    Stuff like: "Make a wish" - "It just came true", the voiceover at the end, Robin Sodding Williams. I can&#39;t believe Kubrick had a hand in those. I just can&#39;t. The fact the film sets up a really interesting premise and fails to deal with it adequately. The sly in-jokes/homages to Kubrick. The END OF THE FILM. I know Kubrick had created thousands of images and notes for the film. I know that many of the images in the film are pretty much identical to the original concept art. <Draws deep breath> OK, whoever is responsible - I think the film declines as soon as we enter Gigolo Joe territory. I&#39;m sure that the story was tightly mapped out by Kubrick, but I can see Steve&#39;s paw prints all over the film. They increase as the film progresses. I felt this leads to inconsistency in tone and thus spoils the film for me. If I&#39;m wrong then I&#39;m wrong. I&#39;ll be annoyed for different reasons. I still won&#39;t enjoy the film any more. Sorry.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Easy there Frodo...

    by Sloppy Slacks

    Ha, that line was truly the best. I laughed out loud when Dave snapped at him and said that. Another memorable moment was when Elijah was talking about his Elvish tatoo on his upper thigh, and he mentioned that every day when he gets out of the shower he looks down and admires it in the mirror. The audience laughed at what he said realizing it totally sounded sexual (that he was looking down checking something else out), but Elijah didn&#39;t have a clue. Ha. Anyway, he is a priss, but admittingly a good actor too. One last thing, funny that you (Bigger) picked up on the overuse of "Fellowship" as well. Heh.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Lardass hogan

    by Daegor

    I assume you were being sarcastic with your summary of Citizen Kane, but heres an interesting tidbit about the origins of Rosebud I got from Kenneth Anger&#39;s Hollywood Babylon book. Apparently Rosebud was WR Hearsts nickname for his mistress&#39; clitoris. Welles named the sled that as an "in" dig at Hearst.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Best Films & Worst Films.

    by Miss Aura

    Going along with all your Top 10 films of all time, I thought I would add my own.____ BEST: 1. The Godfather II, 2. Lawrence of Arabia, 3. The Godfather, 4. Star Wars, 5. Raging Bull, 6. Gandhi, 7. Dr Strangelove, 8. Apocalypse Now, 9. The Producers, 10. Monty Pythons Life of Brian. ______ WORST: 1. Jaws 4, 2. Dude Wheres my car, 3. Freddie got fingered, 4. Titanic, 5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, 6. Lost Souls, 7. The Phantom Menace, 8. The Giant Spider Invasion, 9. Ghosts of Mars, 10. Broken Arrow. ______ Most will not agree but its my choice so there.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:39 a.m. CST

    A Tour de Force of exceeding expectations.

    by rabid_republican

    Moriarty&#39;s review of FOTR has easily been the best thus far. He gave me everything I wanted to know and then some. I suppose one could accuse Moriarty of waxing poetic on expectations, but the further I read, the more I was inclined to agree with him. In far too many a TB we have both individually and collectively, bemoaned the steady, yet unending decline of the blockbuster, with rare exception. This review uniquely sums that sentiment on both a simplified ("blockbusters suck") but qualified explanation (as he sited more than a few examples). If I wasn&#39;t excited before, rest assured I am now. All this aside, to the naysayers and defenders of mediocre film lurking, I suggest we at the very least give Moriarty&#39;s advice a try and be demanding as an audience, rather than settle and forgive. Thanks, Mori.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I&#39;ll shut up about AI, now

    by Toshlines

    My fave this year was Moulin Rouge, closely followe dby Requiem for a Dream and oddly, Almost Famous.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Well done that man

    by Silver_Joo

    This is one film I have never doubted, and Mori, your review, albeit slightly gushing and sentimental hints at how I know I am going to feel when I see this. For that guy pondering the books, you should read them, yes, you really should read them. The Two Towers is astounding, as is The Return Of The King, certainly upto the Battle of Pelennor Fields. The build up and the battle just jump out of the page, every moment designed to engage you, and make you react. If Jackson can create this on screen, then I will be impressed. FOTR is simply a group of people wandering, closer to the Hobbit in feel, this was the easy one to make. The next two instalments are when it really begins. I expect the film to be a series of beautifully shot landscapes with actors wandering past, and then we get to Moria... this is the sequence that counts.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Middle 5 movies of all time...

    by BilboFett

    15.) Solarbabies 16.) Bring it On 17.) My Giant 18.) Back to the Future 3 19.) Buckaroo Bonzai. Wonderful review, and thanks to the person that posted that StompTokyo link.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:44 a.m. CST

    top 10 lists

    by Daegor

    There have been some great top 10 lists on this TB, but I would have to throw Naked Lunch (I&#39;m a William S Burroughs freak) and Trainspotting into the mix too. Trainspotting will probably get a lot of flak on this TB, but I loved it and really related to it at the time of its release.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:47 a.m. CST

    NEWSFLASH!!! Mel Brooks to direct BORED OF THE RINGS (2011 relea

    by JAGUART

    Word has it that Mel Brooks has acquired the film rights for the 1969 Harvard Lampoon classic "Bored of the Rings" Mel states in an interview that the "technology will soon exist to bring formerly deceased actors digitally to life onscreen to play their roles and by using stock footage and forced perspective". He also states that to appease Beard and Douglas purists Tim Benzadrine WILL be in his version of the epic satire and played by Stephen Wright. I guess there&#39;s some people pissed off about the role of Arwench going to upstart Melissa Rivers. Here&#39;s a rundown of the exciting cast that has signed on so far: Rick Moranis .... Frito Bugger Mel Brooks .... Goodgulf the Greyteeth Bill Pullman .... Arrowroot/Stomper Eric Allan Kramer .... Spam Melissa Rivers .... Arwench Joan Rivers .... Lady Gladwrapiel Digitally recreated John Candy .... Gimlet Dom Deluise .... Pepsi Mark Blankfield.... Moxie Leslie Neilsen .... Legolam Harvey Korman .... Bromo Gene Wilder .... Dildo Bugger Digitally recreated Cleavon Little .... Smeagma/Gotham rest of cast Amy Yasbeck .... Eleanor Gangrene Richard Lewis .... Sorhed Stephen Wright....Tim Benzadrine Roger Rees.....Serutan Mel Brook.... A Narc Avery Schrieber........ A Boggie

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Objectivity

    by The Mauve Frog

    What I&#39;m trying to say is, that there is nothing wrong with subjectivity. It can eaily lead to later objectivity and it&#39;s fun. But when you say that such-and-such is the best movie of all time, and then say that you wouldn&#39;t pay eight bucks to go see some other movie, or that just because it&#39;s got a hot actress in it, you&#39;re missing the point. I *might* pay to go see Citizen Kane, but it awfully long and a little dull in spots. I don&#39;t know that I&#39;d buy the DVD. That doesn&#39;t keep it from being the best movie of all time! My opinion is irrelevent. By stating a movie is the best of all time, you are trying to say that it is better objectively than any other. There nothing wrong with liking, say, Freddie got Fingered more than any other movie. But saying that just because you liked it best, it is the best, is like saying that you like the Minnesota Twins better than any other baseball team, thereforem they are the best. It is an egomaniacal point of view. You are not the center of the world. _________ Kinda wish I was, though sometimes, heh heh.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Keep the faith with Peter Jackson Huneybee.

    by Miss Aura

    I myself will not read T2T or ROTK, I am putting all my faith into Peter Jackson. Let his eyes guide you through middle earth, you wont be dissapointed I am sure. I will read the books after I view all 3 movies, until then I will wait patiently for the next installment like a child waiting for christmas day to arrive. But as the ring itself is tempting to others, so are these stories. If you dont read them Huneybee, I can only see the final outcome of these movies to be a pleasure. Temptation will be there to read them, but dont give in. You are guaranteed a good movie each year for the next 2 years if you read them, if you dont you are guaranteed a life changing experience for the next 2 years. I opt not to read them, but it is up to you whether to. I only know that Jackson&#39;s film making skills wont dissapoint.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:52 a.m. CST

    NEWSFLAS!! Mel Brooks to direct BORED OF THE RINGS (2011 release

    by JAGUART

    Word has it that Mel Brooks has acquired the film rights for the 1969 Harvard Lampoon classic "Bored of the Rings". Mel states in an interview that the "technology will soon exist to bring formerly deceased actors digitally to life onscreen to play their roles and by using stock footage and forced perspective". He also states that to appease Beard and Douglas purists Tim Benzadrine WILL be in his version of the epic satire and played by Stephen Wright. I guess there&#39;s some people pissed off about the role of Arwench going to upstart Melissa Rivers. Here&#39;s a rundown of the exciting cast: Rick Moranis .... Frito Bugger , Mel Brooks .... Goodgulf the Greyteeth , Bill Pullman .... Arrowroot/Stomper , Eric Allan Kramer .... Spam , Melissa Rivers .... Arwench , Joan Rivers .... Lady Gladwrapiel , Digitally recreated John Candy .... Gimlet , Dom Deluise .... Pepsi , Mark Blankfield.... Moxie , Leslie Neilsen .... Legolam , Harvey Korman .... Bromo , Gene Wilder .... Dildo Bugger , Digitally recreated Cleavon Little .... Smeagma/Gotham , rest of cast.... Amy Yasbeck .... Eleanor Gangrene , Richard Lewis .... Sorhed , Stephen Wright....Tim Benzadrine , Roger Rees.....Serutan , Mel Brook.... A Narc , Avery Schrieber........ A Boggie

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Books

    by The Mauve Frog

    The question is, will any of you who say you are going to wait to read the books going to be able to. ********* SCENE: INTERIOR: MOVIE THEATRE: OLIVE EWE has just seen LotR for the first time. She panics. OLIVE: I can&#39;t believe I promised not to read TTT for another year! What happens to Frodo and Sam? Will Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli catch up to Merry and Pippin or will Saruman give them over to Sauron? What if talking trees come up? What if Isengard gets attacked? What if at some place called Helms Deep Gimli and Legolas have a orc killing contest? I have to wait a year!! OLIVE breaks down weeping.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Dammit

    by Toshlines

    Must... not...rise......What I meant and I&#39;m sorry if this was unclear is that AI feels like two films. One is an examination of the nature of love, identity and creation and plays out like a messy, ill-thought out, badly conceived melodrama as it increasingly gets smothered in the another deeply confused, hackneyed film about a future world that plays like a remake of Mad Max&#39;s travels with the Fifth Element. I still think it starts well, though.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:12 p.m. CST

    sk&#39;s top 5 movies of all time

    by rev_skarekroe

    5-"Mary Shelly&#39;s Frankenstein" - Kenneth Branagh dancing with a corpse. Brilliant! 4-"Hannibal" - The serial killer is the GOOD GUY! 3-"Flesh and Bone" - A movie so good it completely wiped itself from memory! 2-"Buffy Malibu&#39;s Nasty Girls #5" - The pinnacle of lesbian filmmaking. 1-"Nothing But Trouble" - Dan Ayckroyd, John Candy, Chevy Chase, and Demi Moore in the same movie? How could you possibly go wrong? sk

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:16 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m a little disappointed in you, man

    by St Buggering

    Moriarty, usually you avoid the timeworn fanboy traps, and manage to be very straightforward in your reviews. To be frank, I&#39;m sick to freakin&#39; death of "Lord of the Rings" being primed by fanboys to be the Star Wars killer. There is no comparison. They&#39;re not in competition. It&#39;s not a one-or-the-other situation. The success of one does not preclude the success of the other, creatively or artistically. I don&#39;t want to sound like an old man here, but it used to be that the fans were excited when multiple big genre projects were coming. Now it means that battle lines are drawn, and everyone is expected to take sides and bet on "the winner". It&#39;s bullshit, and I refuse to fall into it. I&#39;m excited for both, and for "Spider-Man" as well. I pity any of you who feel otherwise.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:16 p.m. CST

    What would happen if...

    by BilboFett

    All three movies were in theaters at the same time? I know it is not possible, but just think about that for a second...OR what if they were spaces 3 months apart? I am just too excited. This anticipation is more delicious than was the desire to see the Star Wars franchise renewed.

  • you don&#39;t want to read the book in case it ruins the film? what is this shit? it should be the other way around. the entire trilogy is a masterpiece. it is literature. jackson outdoing tolkien? is this some sort of fucking joke? this is completely INSANE. if you don&#39;t understand the book then i hope you enjoy these films. i&#39;m be blatant and say that in this case books are BETTER than films. if you need to rely 100% on a film-maker to imagine something then something is very very wrong. at the end of the day... i have this book... so FUCK THIS MOVIE.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Top 5 movies:

    by Gul Shah

    1) Red Dawn 2) Road House 3) Stone Cold 4) Battle Beyond the Stars 5) Megaforce Although, I must warn you, I am extremely high right now.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:26 p.m. CST

    OK, a question nothing to do with A...<gags>

    by Toshlines

    This is on the books so sorry if anyone deems this excessively dull: Two elves have been reincarnated from the halls of Mandos. Glorfindel is one, who is the other? This isn&#39;t a quiz. I genuinely don&#39;t know the answer and its bugging me. Anyone, Anyone...Bueller?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Koob, so true....

    by JAGUART

    "SW Episode I: Sesame Street and we&#39;re about to get Episode II: Naboo 90210". At one time Lucas was a genius, I&#39;m sure we&#39;ll all agree. But this is the guy who made the Politically Correct Special Editions. His whole approach and attitude is now way off. He&#39;s a boomer parent. He no longer has the maverick touch.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Goddamn I love talkback...

    by BilboFett

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Elijah Wood has become very feminine...

    by BigTuna

    Anybody else notice that? He has a real girly voice and dresses and acts like someone who would hang out with Richard Simmons. I think he&#39;s grown up loving to pitch n&#39; catch if ya know what I mean. Doesn&#39;t bother me though good for him it&#39;s just an observation.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:40 p.m. CST

    where&#39;s harry?

    by Z of X

    I can just feel the review coming. We&#39;d all better take cove from the jizz!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:41 p.m. CST

    for Toshlines

    by kcole16

    Luthien Tinuviel returned from the halls of Mandos.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:44 p.m. CST

    St Buggering is COMPLETELY RIGHT! Why rag on other franchises?

    by Brock Landers

    Right now my biggest pet peeve is reading FOTR reviews in which THE ONLY WAY the reviewer can get his point across is to RAG ON OTHER FILMS. How short-sided. How tacky. These are not well thought out reviews. For instance, I read one review for FOTR which COMPLETELY ragged on Harry Potter. Harry Potter was a fine film. Why not critique FOTR based on your observations on THAT film alone. Damn, it pisses me off! And now Moriarty feels the need to RAG on Return of the Jedi and TPM! And to compare to Star Wars? This is totally apples to oranges, man. Like ST BUGGERING said, we are all the winners seeing these bad-ass movies. And after the attacks of September, I think it is just what our country needs: to see heroes battle evil. This is what ALL these movies are about. These franchises just have the story dressed in different costumes, is all.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:46 p.m. CST

    They had movies pre-1960?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Get outta here! sk

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Koob, I agree

    by JAGUART

    I did like the Special Editions better as well. I just felt the whole "Greedo firing first" deal is indicative of Lucas&#39;s attitude and approach towards the type of tale he wants to tell now. I&#39;m very skeptical about his ability to make a darker film because I think he no longer desires it. When I think back on Greedo firing first, I&#39;ve concluded that its a resonable price to pay for all the other cool additions in the SE&#39;s.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Cheers

    by Toshlines

    Thank you. I&#39;m an idiot. AND I&#39;m reading the Silmarillion for about the first time in a good few years at the moment, to boot. I had wondered about the two Glorfindels and done some research as to whether it was the Noldrian equivalent of &#39;John&#39; or something and discovered some stuff about Tolkien&#39;s developing theories about reincarnation. You&#39;d have thought I&#39;d have twigged about Luthien. I&#39;m hoping I might have seen the light at the relevant bit (Beren&#39;s death), but hey ho.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Fluffy....

    by CordyFan

    ...I have to disagree about AI. First of all, who says what David is experiencing really is love. I happen to think it isn&#39;t. The thing that makes the story work for me is how sick society would have to be to create a robot like David. Spielberg got me to root and emotionally identify with an artificial being, and root against and hate society, or, in other words, myself. Human beings, myself included, are mean, cruel, selfish creatures, and creating something that will love only you, knowing full well it won&#39;t get that love returned, smacks of the worst sort of God-playing.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Moriarty sucks and other observations....

    by Tripp Averon

    He started to drift with "One of the ten best films ever made." Straight up lost it FOREVER with Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Jurassic park suck. Well, if you do truly believe then you have lost absolutly all of your already infinitely small credibility. The way to review a movie is on it&#39;s own merits, not by trying to put down films. Not a fanboy raving huh? I think you just reinvented the term. Moriarty, wait another twenty years and see what people will be still wactching and falling in love with all over again.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:58 p.m. CST

    noisefloor... lets get a few things straight...

    by RAGE

    i posted my original comment because i take exception to the idea that peter jackson can communicate the story and world of middle-earth better than the man himself. i repeat "the entire trilogy IS a masterpiece." one more thing... OF COURSE ITS MY FUCKING OPINION! WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE?!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Leaving the stratosphere

    by Oberon

    Moriarty - Thanks for the review. Of all the AICN reviewers I invariably place most stock in your feedback - so far I&#39;ve yet to catch you wrong (or should I say different) on anything, And having read your lengthy and laudatory review I have to say that my expectations are no longer in the stratosphere. They&#39;re in lunar orbit.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 12:59 p.m. CST

    "It&#39;s not enough, I need more, nothing seems to satisfy..."

    by XTheCrovvX

    Ahh, dear Moriarty...so passionate do we seem, yes? I mean, how rare is it that everyone unanimously proclaims a movie the second coming of Christ?? Unfortunately the rest of us poor schlubs still got another week to wait to find out for ourselves. But there&#39;s that one part of Moriarty&#39;s gushing review that I&#39;m gonna dare to be the odd man out with. A piece of fundamentals I&#39;m gonna dare to invite the wrath of the movie-obsessed elite, and I&#39;m gonna beg for it, and be willing to stand up for it like every good devils advocate.... A man has ocd....for inexplicable reasons, he eats but once a week, having dinner every saturday night at a local diner about a mile from his house....they have a nice selection of stuff on the menu, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, fries, cheesecake, fried chicken, pizza, etc, etc, etc....it&#39;s all good enough, nice tasting food, the people are great, good price....he eats there, religiously, no problem....then all of a sudden, one wednesday night, a friend comes by, and with much coaxing, takes him somewhere new...they serve steak, champagne, truffles, exotic pasta dishes, lobster, cordon bleu, topped off with a lemon souffl

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:01 p.m. CST

    why ??

    by Damien646

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Whatever you do...

    by CordyFan

    Don&#39;t read! It rots your brain. What&#39;s the point now, when everything will eventually be turned into a movie anyway. And who wants to ruin the movie experience....This thread of posts is absurdly ridiculous. No offense, but society is really going to hell if you think reading should take a backseat to a moviegoing experience. I&#39;m currently two chapters into TTT, having just finished Fellowship, and the experience has been profound. I&#39;m sure the movies will be excellent, but when I read Frodo&#39;s line at the Council of Elrond ("I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way"), I was stunned. A book has never hit me as much as that one line did. Seeing the movies first ruins that experience for you, and I&#39;m of the mind that the source should always be respected. Perhaps PJ has transcended the source, but I am glad my father convinced me to pick up a copy of Lord of the Rings.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:03 p.m. CST

    With this review Moriarty has brought some of my faith back in s

    by superhero

    You&#39;ve brought that standard back in a way Moriarty. Let&#39;s just hope you remember that Hollywood is crap most of the time and that you guys at this site can call &#39;em like they SHOULD be called and not dilute your reviews because you wanna still be invited to all the junckets and screenings and the movie sets. BLOCKBUSTERS, nay, HOLLYWOOD MOVIES IN GENERAL suck and it&#39;s time all movie fans, lovers of cinema, started taking the studios to task for the crap that they make and support.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:04 p.m. CST

    why ?

    by Damien646

    why is it that all the talkbacks, regardless of the subject matter, always end up as debates over the merits of "A.I." ??...i just do not understand

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:04 p.m. CST

    kubrick...

    by CordyFan

    ...I only said that&#39;s what makes it a great film for me. And I personally don&#39;t think there&#39;s enough evidence to convince me that David truly was a boy, but again...some other time, some other TB.

  • The Best: 5) that one where they have to escape that guy; 4) all those guys in their neighbourhood; 3) thingymajig where they think he&#39;s - y&#39;know - but actually (not wanting to spoil the movie for anyone) let&#39;s just say &#39;he may or may not be&#39;; 2) that one that was basically like a love letter to it all; 1) just that little kid one, man that is amazing, just delighful - every moment pure delight. Oh shit, I forgot the Rigsby space one. Damn. The worst: 5) That fucking cgi plasticky one. Ugh; 4) the fucking one with all the dancing (not Red Shoes - shit, another one I forgot for the best five)except actually there wasn&#39;t really much dancing when you think about it; 3) the fucking one where that guy "presents" even though he didn&#39;t direct it and it was about that old proverb except with boring deaths; 2) that awful thingy one with the new guy after they got rid of the proper guy who does it even though they had him back again later; 1) My Dinner With Andre

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Why?? Because...

    by CordyFan

    ...AI will be recognized as one of the finest filmmaking achievements of this decade. Mark my word, this one will only get better with age. And I hate people talking shit about it to justify the merits of another movie.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Are Orcs and Goblins the same things in LOTR?

    by Elrond_Hubbard

    Just curious...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:10 p.m. CST

    i have a question for kubrick101.....

    by Damien646

    kubrick101, are you "Ronie" from the chatroom ??

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Crusade is better than Raiders......by a lot!

    by JackLint

    Temple of Doom sucked ass, but Last Crusade?! my god- that really upsets me. It is a classic. I like it soooo much better than Raiders. why? Sean Connery is brilliant. The father son relationship is beautiful - there is nothing of the sort in Raiders. LC just has so much more to love. but anyway LOTR will rock.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:16 p.m. CST

    like it matters

    by TestGiver

    Like M is more of an expert than any other fanboy. It&#39;s just one guy&#39;s ( far from humble) opinion.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Oh, and P.s....

    by XTheCrovvX

    While we&#39;re jerking ourselves off trying to start a new trend on these "Top" 10 movie lists, why don&#39;t we go right ahead and name Manos: The Hands of Fate the best film of all time while we&#39;re at it, huh? Give the Oscar to the fertilizer salesman, poor underrated bastard! Alan smithee&#39;ll be proud! Now quit it with the lists, dammit!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:20 p.m. CST

    toshlines, only two reincarnations?

    by wilko185

    Where&#39;s it say that? I assume lots came back. It is specifically pointed out Feanor never did, as if he&#39;s a special case. eg. When Finrod dies, it is said he "walks with his father beneath the tress in Eladamr" (Finarfin never left Valinor), which I take to mean he came back "over there" (IIRC Glorfindel was reborn in Valinor also - he came back to Middle Earth in the second age from Valinor). _____ ___Yeh Goblins=orcs. Tolkien used goblins more in the Hobbit, but phased it out in LOTR, probably because it has too many "fairy-story" associations (ditto he used to use "fairies" for elves in very early versions of Silmarillion) _____ [This has been a Tolkien-geek moment. Sorry for straying off the topic, whatever it was ;-)]

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:20 p.m. CST

    star wars holiday special

    by Elwood Blues

    speaking of the special, anyone know where I can download it or view it at? I just have to see for myself how bad it is. I need a good laugh.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Best: Part II

    by Lardass_Hogan

    1. Gleaming the Cube 2. The Park is Mine 3. Avenging Angel 4. Love at First Bite 5. The Disorderlies 6. Tex 7. Project X 8. And God Created Woman 9. Light of Day 10. Satisfaction. Each of these films are great examples of American cinema. All I know is, PJ&#39;s got a tough road ahead if he wants to bump any of these babies off the list! How he&#39;ll match the affects of "Love at First Bite" alone will be quite a challenge. When George Hamilton turns into a bat? Humph! If Soron looks HALF that good, I&#39;ll be impressed.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:23 p.m. CST

    scrolling

    by Damien646

    there has got to be a better way ....how come one must scroll all the way to the top of the talkback to respond to what the other talkbackers are saying?? i mean, i do have a life!! i do not wish to spend half of my life "scrolling".....is there some trick-of-the-trade that i am not aware of ??? can anyone assist me on this matter ??

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Suspicous about AOL/WARNER and LOTR

    by Gordo27

    This is just my theory: AOL/WARNER clearly wants to fold Newline into it&#39;s empire, and nothing will do this faster than FOTR. If it does not have mass appeal, New Line is as good as gone as of the end of the fiscal year 2002. It&#39;s been reported on numerous times. Additionaly, as all three LOTR films have been sold to foreign distributers (recouping some $200 million of the films budget)the Warner group is really not going to be seeing a huge profit margin from the trilogy. New Line, however, stands to profit much more from a phenomenal success. Additionally, while Harry Potter has been a success by any standard the cost of that movie and the overblown promotial campaign is now well over $200 million. Again Warner was expecting bigger domestic numbers more akin to TPM. Warner was also expecting Potter to run strongly enough to capture a good slice of the Christmas market and while this remains to be seen it seems that Potter has run out of steam much to everybody&#39;s surprise over at Warner. Meanwhile LOTR is garnering massive applause, sometimes unfortunately at the expense of the mediocre Potter flick. Now as it is Warner stands to gain much more if Potter can weather the lull up till Christmas and get a second wind. Unfortunately LOTR has arisen as this potential massive blockbuster which could ,and by all accounts should, bury Potter. Lets not forget that Warner has committed to at least 3 more Potter flicks maybe all seven I&#39;m not sure but we&#39;re talking huge production numbers here folks, which will only rise with each successive film. Now the rule of thumb is that after the first flick of a series you get diminishing returns. So if Potter 1 is anything less than TPM we&#39;re looking at potentialy disasterous situation for Warner. So the combination of Warner wanting to cut costs by folding New Line and protecting the more profitable of their two babies we have a clear situation. Has anyone seen a commercial for LOTR on CNN yet Potter trailers are still playing on that station three weeks after release. Under normal circumstances, TIME magazine, would surely want to do a big piece on the film translation of one of the most popular works of literature of all time. However due to the war and the favourite son syndrone at Warner they have not. Sorry for the long post and although it seems far fetched I think my line of reasoning has some merit to it.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:28 p.m. CST

    ass-end of the world?

    by TestGiver

    Funny, I have it in my mind that strip-mall land America is ugly and imagine that New Zealand is quite a bit more beautiful.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:29 p.m. CST

    "beneath the tress"?

    by wilko185

    under the trees, not the hair. ____ Re the Star Wars canon, am I the only one who saw Caravan of Courage in the cinema? Did I just hallucinate it, because it seems no one ever mentions it.....

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Damien, re scrolling

    by wilko185

    Just press the Home key to got to the top (End to the bottom). If you think AICN&#39;s forum needs improving (who doesn&#39;t?), have a look at http://www.compnetco.com/aicn/login.jsp

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Elwood: Star Wars Holiday Special

    by Monster Rain

    Try ebay first. There&#39;s always a copy floating around there. If you live in or near NYC, check out Kim&#39;s Video. I know for a fact that they have it. Kim&#39;s also has a website, or call 1-800-617-KIMS. However, I must warn you: watching the "Star Wars Holiday Special" will rob you of a piece of your soul. Your humanity will never be quite the same. But, it is an experience, that&#39;s for sure. So if you don&#39;t mind ending up in a puddle of your own vomit, urine and feces, then watch away.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Boy, you&#39;d better be right, Moriarty...

    by LesterB

    Because if you&#39;re not, I personally will have a hard time giving anything you say a shred of credibility ever again. If this flick is half as good as you say it is, then not only is Lucas in deep shit, so is most of Hollywood.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Gordo27

    by RedCapitalist

    I hadn&#39;t thought about it before now, but what you said frightens me.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:43 p.m. CST

    my offer still stands

    by Eryndur

    As Frodo.Lives, JoeMama, Silvo Dante, and I have been doing in the last couple of LOTR talkbacks, I&#39;ll answer any questions you have about the film. I saw it 2 days ago, and I am very knowledgeable of Tolkien&#39;s works. I&#39;ll put spoiler warnings in the subject line for those who wish to see the movie pure. Ask away!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:45 p.m. CST

    H

    by Typing Dutchman

    Designed to destroy all doubts anybody can have about this movie! I just hope Harry&#39;s review will be the last or else they should change this site into aintthesecoollotrreviews.com. I&#39;m still a bit sceptical. I&#39;ve never read the books (i now have the trilogy and i will read it after i&#39;ve seen the movie) and i don&#39;t know much about the story (or knew, untill i read all the spoilerish reviews). I&#39;ve only seen a few pictures on the net and a few (very good looking) clips on tv. However, the whole "guerilla"/high risk nature of making these movies alone is enough to get me excited. Elves, orcs, dwarfes, wizards...i&#39;m just not into that kind of stuff. I have nothing against it either. I&#39;m still a geek. So i don&#39;t mean to offend any Tolkien fans. I&#39;m sure this movie rules. Too much good buzz going on. I&#39;ve never seen that before. --- I think it&#39;s interesting: most reviews by LOTR (book) fans are gushing, but the reviews from other people are more "realistic" (again, no offence). Some of these people seem to have some problems with the dullness of the first part, the "and then, and then" nature of the second part, the not so realistic special effects in some places, the dissapointing ending....and some people just don&#39;t seem to get involved in the story. The Tolkien fans on the other hand are pointing out all the subtle hints at stuff in the books, the fact that this guy IS Gandalf, or that place IS Moria, or which parts of the book have been left out. I guess LOTR fans may appreciate this movie more than people who haven&#39;t read the books. Or maybe not... -------- Anyway, i&#39;m going to see this movie and from what i&#39;ve seen and read about it so far i think i&#39;m going to like it a lot. And if i don&#39;t, i might come back here and bitch and whine about it not living up to the hype. (on the other hand, maybe not. Too much bitching going on in the talkbacks anyway). Now bring on Harry&#39;s review. I hope he hasn&#39;t blown his load all over the poor bastard sitting in front of him ;)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:46 p.m. CST

    If It&#39;sThis Good, Then The Mainstream Audience Will Hate It.

    by The Founder

    I&#39;m serious, when a crap film like Pearl Harbor can rake in the bucks,it makes you wonder that people have lowered their expectations to the point where anything good comes across as being boring(it&#39;ll have to much character development for people)and not enough FX(in Hollywood today a movie where the story isn&#39;t written around the Fx is a sin), and guys like Bay and Brukhaimer will attempt to rip it to shreds, and the america may just believe them. I&#39;m pretty sure I&#39;ll enjoy it, but i know that casual moviegoer will hate it. It&#39;s the American Way, what&#39;s good is bad, and what&#39;s bad is good, don&#39;t believe me, just look at MTV.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Hollywood gets scared.

    by BilboFett

    In light of the magnificent perfection of the first installment of the Lord of the Rings story, Hollywood has decided to steal a page from the American automobile industry. With Peter Jackson representing the new "Tucker", Hollywood will stop at nothing to keep this film from the viewing public. While Jackson, along with New Line has revolutionized the process for film making with his attention to detail and embracing of fans, the indusrty fears for and clings to it tried and true method of making films that either pander to the lowest common denominator or make it clear that we are seeing what they want us to see. While plans are in the works to supress Jackson&#39;s masterpiece, insiders report that talks are in process to rush production on "Pearl Harbor 2".

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:53 p.m. CST

    JAGUART--are you mad?

    by Shai-Hulud

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Hitchcock, Ford, Hawks...

    by VincentSpain

    remember them

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 1:57 p.m. CST

    untitled

    by Damien646

    Thank you, wilko185, for the advice.....By the way, Harry must be writing his review right now, since the headlines have shifted on the news page

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Over-excited and in need of a sit down and a cup of tea...

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    I don&#39;t know about you guys, but I&#39;m now getting to the over-tired, querolous stage that five-year-olds get to when they start crying for no reason and defying their mother&#39;s orders to put their mitts on. Nothing to do but wait. Bah. Though, soon, we may get to see a big Ginger guy weep out a review full of ellipses. That could be worth hanging around for. Then again, maybe not.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Are ants just stupid? OT

    by JimmyTheHand

    Last night I had a glass of orange juice, I didn&#39;t finish it, and accidently left it out. When I woke up this morning, the whole surface of the orange juice is convered by those small piss ants. Most of them look dead, and there are a couple trying to keep afloat by walking on the dead ants. What the hell possessed them to take a chance and dive into the orange Juice, I would think after the first ten of their buddies died, they would at least be smart enough to leave it alone. Stupid, stupid, stupid.... Damn I need to see LOTR!!!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Father Geek

    by Tenacious_G

    I don&#39;t know if anybody in this TB has noted this yet, but in his AICN Down Under report, Father Geek called FOTR the greatest movie he has ever seen. Unless I misread his comments.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Too much is never enough

    by Justicer

    I hate this guy, Moriarty. Who does he think he is, messing with my emotions like that? My sanity is only slightly contained by my own feeble attempts to drown out Middle-Earth and its inhabitants till the 19th, and in this guy comes with The most riveting Review of any Movie I&#39;ve ever read. I hate him for his heartfelt genuinity and his unblemished honesty in delivering the experience of a phenomenon too large and too epic too be defined as a "movie". Why? Because regardless how many times anyone says it, the truth just won&#39;t go away people. FOTR is being released on the 19th, and we are STUCK on the 13th. No matter what, WE WILL ALWAYS BE STUCK ON THE 13th!!(Probably not, but it sure frickin&#39; feels that way!) And no matter what I do to purge these thoughts to keep my sanity(i haven&#39;t read the books b/cause some people on this talkbalk told me not to) Some literary genius/film lover like Moriarty infects me with his Euphoria. Now,...Why He Go And Do Dat? This "movie" needs to be here Now. Now NOW NOW-I&#39;ve turned into a blithering LOTR hungry fanboy w/o any prior knowledge of the books except for a sophomoric bakshi Hobbit &#39;cartoon&#39; thanks to the overenthusiastic Bastard- Moriarty. The Hype Has No Choice but be believed. Justice must be done. This Movie NEEDS to be seen. So everybody go and Piss your pants in wet anticipation b/cause the 19th can&#39;s come any SLOWER!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Stop it, you&#39;re going to make me shit myself.

    by Sepulchrave

    That&#39;s it. The final nail in the coffin of doubt, before the actual film, of course. This will make up for the Gormenghast fiasco two Christmases ago.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:09 p.m. CST

    First Credible Beef with LOTR - Quote From Aragorn Kills the End

    by RedCapitalist

    I just read a new review by Quickbeam from TORN, and he says that he would have given the movie 10 out of 10, but he only gave it 9 1/2 out of 10! Do you know why??? Because of Aragorn&#39;s last line of the movie...Do you know what he says??? "Let

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:10 p.m. CST

    My underpants look like a Rorschach Test!

    by Lardass_Hogan

    Anticipation too much!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:12 p.m. CST

    JAGUART--are you mad?

    by Shai-Hulud

    Sorry--hit RET instead of TAB (ahem)As I was saying...Steven Wright as Tim Benzedrine? WTF? This role was tailor-made for Tommy Chong! No one else could pull off the subtle nuances of the role of Tim B. Rick Moranis is wayyyy to old to play Frito. How about lil&#39; Leo DeCraprio? I hear he needs work. Maybe we could digitally recreate Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilley (he *is* dead, isn&#39;t he?) to play Serutan. How about Jerry Stiller as Dildo? And Patrick Warburton (late of The Tick) as Arrowroot/Stomper. Mel Brooks could be Goodgulf, but I&#39;d rather see him played as a horny old California beach bum than as a wizened old Borscht-Belt comic (cf Yogurt, Spaceballs). How about Richard Harris instead? I think Rowan Atkinson should be in there somewhere as well. I don&#39;t know where, just somewhere. And the guy who played Screech. I don&#39;t see nearly enough of him. Maybe he could play Moxie and Pepsi? Michael Flatley could play Legolam. Just a thought...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:17 p.m. CST

    HUZZAH!

    by AOTCFacesmasher

    Ha, HA, me friends! The talkback merrymaking continues! Indeed, it warms the Squire&#39;s heart to spend the hours in such good company! I drink a pint of ale for each man and wench here! <<<quaffing ale>>> HO, HO! Me magic pipes shall now play for ye!!!! <<<<Pipes playing>>> AH, HAHA! Soon the Fat One will post his review and we shall all adjourn to that board to share in MORE happy times together. Ah, friends, if only we could all travel to Middle Earth together as one on the 19th. But fear not, I, Squire McWindbag will be with you all! I raise my goblet to ye all!!! <<<<<Drunken Fifes playing>>> HUZZAH!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:18 p.m. CST

    So I guess when Sauron flies, he takes a red eye...

    by BilboFett

    Sorry.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Sorry, i simply don&#39;t agree that the Indy sequels suck. Last

    by togmeister

    Quite astonishingly for a third go around the block, it was actually in many critical quarters accepted as the BEST of the three. I also watched TOD again a while ago, and was grinning like a Cheshire cat all the way through in a way i never did through any blockbuster of recent times. This is a lovely piece of writing Morty, but i do wish you would stop making these naive, sweeping statements. That&#39;s no better than the talkback-jerks (&#39;TPM sucked ass!!&#39; &#39;Matrix is a FLAMING turd of a movie!!&#39; and so on)that you profess to despise. Keep it balanced. It is far to early to say for sure whether FOTR is indeed one of the best movies ever, you need to give these things time to ferment. How many people in 1998, for example, were prepared to say that SPR was Spielberg&#39;s best ever movie? Many. How many people today? Much less, i&#39;d argue. Ditto for James Cameron and Titanic / Aliens. Did in 1997 i think that Titanic was a classic? Yep. Do i think it&#39;s a classic now? No freakin&#39; way.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:25 p.m. CST

    credits and other stuff

    by Eryndur

    I gotta be honest here, the opening credits almost brought tears to my eye, mostly because I&#39;ve waited so long and with so much vested interest in this being put on screen. It was sort of like seeing the "long time ago" plate come up in front TPM. Chills running up your spine sort of stuff. IIRC, you get the New Line logo, then blackness. In the blackness, Galadriel begins to relate the "story thus far". Then we see images of the rings being forged, and after she talks about Sauron&#39;s treachery and the forging of the One Ring, "THE LORD OF THE RINGS" appears across the entire screen, in a style different from both versions we&#39;ve seen of the official title, with a grand swell of music. Then we proceed through the prologue with no other credits. When the prologue ends, we begin the story proper with an opening shot of Frodo sitting underneath the tree. This shot is overlaid with the smaller title, "The Fellowship of the Ring". That&#39;s it. No other credits. Straight into the story. And no, no locations are given titles. The only other titles during the film are elvish subtitles. As I said before, we do get a good long look at a ME map, though. As for May It Be, the actual song by Enya doesn&#39;t start until AFTER the last image appears. It does not lay on top of the story at all. We see Sam and Frodo start to head over the Emyn Muil, with the walls of Mordor in the distance, fade to black, and "a film by Peter Jackson" (or could have been "Directed by Peter Jackson", I can&#39;t remember) appears on black, followed by "Based on the books by J.R.R. Tolkien". Boo-yeah! Hope that helps.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:26 p.m. CST

    I&#39;m just gonna say it...

    by LesterB

    I held my tongue in my last post, because I didn&#39;t want to dash anyone&#39;s hopes, but look: FOTR simply cannot possibly be as good as this. We&#39;re talking about the guy who directed "The Frighteners" and the kid who starred in the horrifically bad "Flipper", okay? I&#39;m sorry, Moriarty, I usually respect your opinions, but your fanboy enthusiasm has gotten out of control. Now if it really is as good as you say, if it really is going to revolutionize Hollywood, if it really does pose a threat to the Bruckheimer-Bay contingency, then I&#39;ll be eating some serious crow, but I&#39;m pretty sure I&#39;m right about this. I&#39;m sure it&#39;s a fine film, but what you&#39;re doing, indirectly, is branding it the next "Citizen Kane" in terms of how it will change the movie industry, and that I simply do not believe. If that were the case, we&#39;d have already heard it. The mainstream reviews I&#39;ve read have all given it three, three-and-a-half stars. Solid, fun movie, but nothing special. In short, no one would be more thrilled than me if this review were accurate, but I&#39;m certain that it&#39;s not.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Peter Jackson isn&#39;t God.

    by DannyOcean01

    I&#39;m looking forward to this film as much as the next drooling Tolkien fan, but we have to remember that this film was a collaboration, just as other films are. I know Jackson will have stamped his own personality upon the film and I love him for that, just as I love his early films like Bad Taste (Can&#39;t do that mate, i&#39;m a Derek, Derek&#39;s don&#39;t run) and Brain Dead. But hauling this man onto a pantheon next to Jesus Christ could spoil him for future films. Look at all the other ego-maniacs that were spawned by similar plaudits- Spielberg and Lucas anyone. I&#39;m not saying Jackson will become like them, his general demeanour doesn&#39;t suggest so, but there might come a point when he really starts believing he&#39;s as good as Lean or Kurosawa, and quite frankly he couldn&#39;t be. Moriarty places the film amongst his best ever films. Wow how fickle he must be. What was the film it replaced? One that had been made a long time ago, and had the power to induce that special feeling even over the years. Then along comes Fellowship and it gets booted. A film is the best when it can continue to make you go wow year after year. What happens when the next big event comes? Will it be Fellowship that gets booted this time? Fellowship was a huge undertaking that involved a huge crew. Think about the number of units filming while Jackson was doing his own scenes. These people contributed hugely to make their sequences part of the whole tapestry and it&#39;s times like these big event movies where the &#39;little people&#39; can be forgotten. Before you say anything, i&#39;m not one of those &#39;little people&#39;, i can only dream to have a career in the biz, what I&#39;m saying is that this is a wonderful movie that should be celebrated in the minutest detail and not just through one conduit- Peter Jackson, as great a director as he has turned out to be.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Total Agreement w/Moriarty (SPOILERS, too)

    by JoeMama420

    Hello to all...I&#39;m here as well to answer questions with Eryndur and offer perspective for the many among us who are still starving for the 19th. I must say I was in total agreement with just about everything Moriarty said. He took every feeling I had while writing my review and extrapolated them in a very excited yet coherent fashion. His talk about rationalizing the shittiness of previous movies is dead...good analogies, too. Anyways, I just wanted to touch on the "Let&#39;s go hunt some orcs" lines. I thought it sucked at first, too, and I&#39;m still not completely sold on it as I still think it&#39;s the one line, if any, that stands out as more Hollywood than Tolkien. But after some reflection, the Fellowship has just been broken, all the hobbits are gone (two have been captured by orcs) and they are left with themselves. Rather than sitting there and brooding, they turn to the one course of action they have left: hunt downt he orcs and get Merry and Pippin yet. "Let&#39;s go hunt some orcs," as cheezy as it may sound out of context, is sort a rallying point for Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas because they sure as hell are good at it and that&#39;s pretty much all they have left. Eryndur? Thoughts?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:34 p.m. CST

    oops! no spoiler warning!

    by Eryndur

    Sorry, I forgot to put in a spoiler warning for my last post! Anyway, here&#39;s one: SPOILERS AHEAD! I&#39;ve read Quickbeam&#39;s review on TORn, and though I&#39;m in total agreement for most of the review, I gotta disagree about the Aragorn line at the end. It didn&#39;t faze me one bit, and I thought it fit well. In my mind (and I was very leery about pop-culturish dialogue), it seemed a natural thing to say at that moment. The three hunters are clearly frustrated, and Aragorn give his speech about how Frodo is out of their hands, and they have to go help Merry and Pippin. Leg and Gimli see the wisdom in this, and Aragorn says the line. A fire lights in Leg and Gimli&#39;s eyes, and their faces set in determination, and they head off into the woods of Parth Galen. Heck, it worked for me. I haven&#39;t heard any other complaints about this, so I don&#39;t think anybody should work themselves into a lather about this. I&#39;m worried now that everyone will be looking for this line now, and hate it because you single it out. Just let it roll over you. It works. Trust me.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Books always dick on films

    by Silver_Joo

    I agree with an earlier post,if you cannot imagine this world without visual aids and just the text to guide you, then a) the author sucks or b)you are brain-dead. Why do you all think fan boys get upset, it is because they have a cosy lil map of how Middle Earth or Dune should look. It is great that there is a film for the fans of the book, but hopefully it will just get more people to recognise JRR as a literary giant rather than the guy that wrote "The Hobbit". Peter Jackson is just the lucky fan boy that gets to piss the world off with is vision. Go Peter!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Read the book!

    by Eowlegree

    YES, read LOTR. Dammit, READ IT. WHEN you read it is your choice. I&#39;ve seen excellent film adaptations of books, enjoyed the films, and then was able to read the books and enjoy them too. I don&#39;t think a film has ever spoiled my enjoyment of a book. Besides, they&#39;re different art mediums. The books are awesome. Read them more than once to really understand them, I beg you! If necessary, skim the history-laden parts the first time, they&#39;ll be more interesting in latter readings. But get off your butt and read them! (Even if it&#39;s in 2004) +++++ And comparing LOTR to SW DOES have relevance. Not in terms of pitting two teams against each other (hell, I like em both), but just for sheer phenomenon and social impact. LOTR looks to be "the next Star Wars" in this sense +++++ And what&#39;s with the attacks on Elijah? Lay off, guys. I have several female friends who think he&#39;s a total hottie. Fakie English accent? Have you ever been to Britian? Apparently not. He sounds 100% American. And it was so refreshing to see the cut backs to him after the clips and just see him absolutely enraptured about the film. Usually talk show guests just look bored when shown their film clips. (Also, he seemed to have a lot of energy for someone who saw the London premiere Monday night then flew to NYC and did 4 talk shows in two days - must have been on vivarin or ssssurge!!) Damn, these movies will RULE!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:40 p.m. CST

    I have a brown Picasso in my plus-size briefs!

    by Lardass_Hogan

    Taco Bell and LOTR excitement. Not a good combo.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:41 p.m. CST

    OH MAN!!!!!

    by LordDark

    I just won tickets to the 17th advance showing of FOTR!!!! I am sooooo pumped. Sorry, not trying to rub it in!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:45 p.m. CST

    I just don&#39;t get it

    by Darth Melkor

    Why is there this uncontrollable need for LOTR fans to attack Star Wars? I remember back before TPM came out Star Wars fans made ripping on Titanic their pastime. What&#39;s the deal with attacking other films? Especially with singling out other films? Are LOTR fans somehow threatened by Star Wars or jealous of it&#39;s popularity and feel the best way to cope is to bash? Star Wars fans were threatened by Titanic&#39;s huge gross and how it knocked ANH from the top spot so used the belittling as a way to deal with it. The Leo DiCaprio Anakin rumor fed the fire as well. But as far as LOTR fans go, what do you expect, a movie will always be more marketable and widely recognized than a book. Now that the LOTR films are coming maybe it will get the same acclaim as the SW series. But no matter how good FOTR is it will not ever surpass TPM or ANH in box-office gross. It doesn&#39;t have the fanbase. I bet Harry Potter&#39;s fanbase is as big if not bigger than Rings&#39; and it will finish about $100 million short of TPM. A Hobbit will never be as beloved as a Wookie. The One Ring will never be as powerful or used in the English language as the Force. Gandalf will never be as wise as Yoda. Now, I&#39;m a fan of both SW and Rings. Fans need to quit tearing down George Lucas, he has done more for filmaking and is more successful than Peter Jackson will ever be. George Lucas created Star Wars and Indiana Jones. Peter Jackson is taking the works of Tolkien and making them into movies, and very successfully at that. I would place Tolkien up there on the same level of genius as Lucas, maybe even highter, but not Jackson. Now, don&#39;t get me wrong, Jackson is one of the best as far as directing and execution goes, but doesn&#39;t have the creative vision of others that came before him and that&#39;s just fine. Sorry, it&#39;s just my opinion and you don&#39;t have to agree, as I&#39;m sure you won&#39;t so let the angry replies begin.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 2:59 p.m. CST

    The debate

    by spunaround

    The reason that Star Wars gets mentioned in the same breath as LOTR so often is that SW is the standard that we judge movies by, it is the film that changed movie geekdom. If people feel that this movie, FOTR, equals or comes close to the highest standard then there is worth in mentioning that standard. There is a fear in the air for SW fans. *** Lawrence of Arabia happens to be the best film ever. I agree. Others obviously don&#39;t. It was not shot for the short attention span theaters of today. A story about the interior of an man developed on an epic scale.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Yes, Shai-Hulud, I am mad.....

    by JAGUART

    Apparently Mel Brooks&#39; casting of "Bored of the Rings" has come into question again, for which he has been taking a lot of flak in the press for of late. I believe in Mel and have faith in the fact that he has had several successful spoofs under his belt. He knows what his doing. In response to your concern that Rick Moranis is too old for the part of Frito, the effects team are using a combination of digital manipulation and forced perspective to make Moranis appear younger and taller than he actually is. Although some of your suggestions are certainly intriguing, I feel they are more in line with a John Waters production. There&#39;s also the rumor that none other than Lucas&#39; ILM group are doing the effects and they plan on one-upping Jackson&#39;s WETA fx shop in every detail. Should be fantastic come 2011, right when LOTR fever will hit its peak.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Can you feel it?

    by Spacekicker

    I know that fat red head is crying on his keyboard in elation from just having seeing that film. I bet he has to keep changing keyboards because he&#39;s typing to fast. I can feel it...he&#39;s going to post soon...the great geek.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:05 p.m. CST

    This Review

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Regarding the review: I agree on the call to arms regarding shit Hwood blockbusters. They simply aren&#39;t as good as they were in the Lucas/Spielberg heyday. They&#39;re just fucking not. They&#39;ve got porky, fat, badly-written, lazy, cynical "Pearl Harbor/Godzilla/Wild Wild West/Planet of the Apes" arses that deserve a good kicking. And, I think its appropriate to compare the event this movie is with the Geek Freak-Out that was the original SW trilogy, even if it&#39;s to point out it falls short of it (if it does fall short, I don&#39;t see it for another six days). I don&#39;t think Moriarty was slagging off the Original Staw Wars. But I do disagree with the notion that the first JP and Last Crusade were shit. In my estimation, Last Crusade is only a hair&#39;s breadth behind the original Raiders, which ruled. I will, however, concede that Temple of Doom was crap - the heroine was so fabulously annoying it was almost camp. Regarding AI and Fight Club, I really liked them both, because at least they had *ideas* in them. You could argue the toss about the end result of those ideas... hey, that&#39;s the whole reason the movies were good! You had to *think*. Think about *stuff*. "Fight Club", in any case, remains the only movie I&#39;ve ever been engrossed in while seeing it on an airplane. I couldn&#39;t do "Sleepy Hollow" on a plane, and I liked it the first time in the cinema. No repeat value whatsoever. And maybe people are hyped about LOTR cos they liked the book. I mean, the book, believe it or not, has done some tidy business. People remember the book. And also, there are some of us over 30s that remember being dicked over so violently by the Bakshi version, and are looking forward to getting vindicated 20 years down the line. I mean there&#39;s a lot to talk about here, other than the fact that someone may have dissed George Lucas. He&#39;s a big boy. He&#39;ll get over it. His empire is not going to be collapsing overnight, I promise you that.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:08 p.m. CST

    star wars

    by oorat22

    i will never attack the original trilogy. ever. even with its flaws(or at least the ones that others see that i havent) but when we attack sw, we attack the new one. or well, tpm. thats not star wars, thats just some old guy, wanting to make money&#39;s creation. a bastardazation of the the entire star wars universe, if any other name wouldve been attached instead of lucas, then everyone wouldve hated it. like say, m. bay&#39;s star wars. it wouldve been a travesty. thats what i hate, and thats what im sure lotr will be better then, for me. i dont care if you like it more, i know i will. i hope ep2 is good, im still not gonna pay 8 bucks for it, 5 maybe. but hell, theyre doing reshoots in march?(is that true?) my god, a little late in the game to fix problems. but then again, lucas doing reshoots, come on, why else do you think he&#39;s doing that? cause lotr. cause i for some reason dont see why he would care, he&#39;s perfectly happy with the tpm movie. meesa cant see why. i just hope that lotr is has good for everyone who has seen it, good for me, and good for everyone else. jackson is what lucas and speilberg once were, dreamers with visions of fantastic things. and the ability to bring them to us. so heres to lotr, aotc, in the hopes that starting this xmas, we get a year with great movies. one can only hope.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:09 p.m. CST

    SW & LOTR

    by JoeMama420

    I too think that comparisons are futile, but unfortunately, they are inevitable. Star Wars is one of the greatest stories ever told on the big screen (with or without TPM) and LOTR is one of the greatest stories ever written. Both attract the same kind of rabid followings and thus, when Tolkien is about to take the big screen hostage via Peter Jenkins, it&#39;s the nature of the game that verbal battles will ensue. Star Wars has been the pinnacle, the measuring stick for so long. Once TPM came out, it was knocked off it&#39;s pedestal a bit (I don&#39;t think ANY rational human being will debate that) and a lot of the settling that Moriarty spoke of occurred just so people didn&#39;t have to face the facts that TPM does not belong in the upper echelon of great films with the original trilogy (yes, I like ROTJ just as much as the others). Now that Lucas finally has some worthy compeition coming from the New Line camp, his detractors are simply using FOTR as a vehicle for predictions of his downfall and further verbal abuse of Star Wars. I, for one, am all about mutal coexistance. Any member of the film-going public benefits from a quality cinematic experience, even if it is just uber eye-candy (as was the case with TPM). Hopefully this will get Lucas&#39;s attention and he&#39;ll realize that he no longer is the one that determines where and how high the bar of excellence is placed. I don&#39;t understand why one film and/or its director has to take on all these other fatalistic qualities towards the other. I suppose what it boils down to is petty fanboy egos feuding with each other under the guise of "film discussion." Without sounding too judgemental or critical, get a life. I can&#39;t imagine what kind of torture these people will be going through next year when EP2 comes out the same year as TTT. Or how about 2003 when X-Men 2, both the Matrix sequels, The Hulk, Terminator 3, Harry Potter 3, AND ROTK come out. I hope all of their heads explode and we never have listen to their pointeless bickering again.

  • Great you saw it, but most of us haven&#39;t, so not all of us wan tot know that Sean Bean DIES. bY GIVING US THESE STUPID LITTLE SPOILERS YOU HAVE NOT GIVEN US THE FAIR CHANCE OF GOING IN TO THE MOVIE THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DID. Where is the awe that we have when we look at Sean Bean and all we can think of is "well is this fight his death scene?" Or how can we care abut Frodo&#39;s friends when we know that in the end they will just sacrifice themselves? This is not a suprise then. And i&#39;m coming the standpoint of not having read teh books. When a movie is reviewed we don&#39;t want to read everythign that happend in the Movie, we want to read what was good and what was bad about it. Likes and dislikes. At least out a spoiler warning right before you say it. And none of that shit of "this review contains spoilers" say it right before the spoiler happens. Would ESB have been the same if before you saw it you knew Vader was his father. Sorry MORIARTY but because of this i think that you are not a true fanboy but actually a prick that doesn&#39;t care about other fanboys. Or maybe just ecause i&#39;m in a bad mood i picked you to rail against. I don&#39;t know.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:10 p.m. CST

    If I were Harry...

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    I would post a review totally slating FOTR. That would be funny - well, I&#39;d laugh. But I bet he doesn&#39;t.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:13 p.m. CST

    A good laugh

    by ChestRockwell

    I went out to RottenTomatoes to see if there were any negative reviews of LOTR. Well, there was one. It was given by Ross Anthony (from Ross Anthony&#39;s Hollywood Report Card, of course). Anywho, I even though his review seems to be negative, he still give the movie a B+ (kid&#39;s grade) or B- (adult&#39;s grade). So I look at his other grades to see what kind of movies he likes. Vanilla Sky, Donnie Darko, and Amelie all get higher grades with an A-. Hmmm, he doesn&#39;t seem to mind non-mainstream films, so maybe I should take his review of LOTR seriously. Here comes the punchline... Also getting an A- are Black Knight, Corky Romano, and Max Keeble`s Big Move. (pause) Ahahahahahahahaha. Now I admit that I haven&#39;t seen LOTR nor Black Knight yet, but I&#39;m willing to bet my soul that LOTR is better than Black Knight. Call me crazy. (all in unison, "you&#39;re crazy") Thank yooooooouuuuuuuu.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:13 p.m. CST

    A coiuple of points

    by qweniden

    Probabablly no one will read down this far but....I love the first part of fellowship....Return of the Jedi is a great movie....My fav top 15 in no particular order: *Empire Strikes Back *Shawshank Redemption *Bravehart *Matrix *Dark City *Toy Story 2 *Iron Giant *Fight Club *12 Monkeys *Millers Crossing *Harold and Maude *Star Wars *Trading Places *Rushmore *Gods must be crazy *Grounhogs Day

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:14 p.m. CST

    E R Y N D U R - script question

    by RedCapitalist

    Does Aragorn really say "Let&#39;s kill some Orcs" at the end of the movie??? I NEED TO KNOW!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:16 p.m. CST

    SPOILER FREAKS

    by Iced_Raktajino

    Wahhh...don&#39;t tell me what happens... Read the book first.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Red Capitalist

    by JoeMama420

    Yes, he does say it, but scroll up a bit on this talkback and check out my post and Eryndur&#39;s post regarding this issue (which we both agree on).

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:19 p.m. CST

    No, he says...

    by MikeSal222

    Yippee!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Soul Suckin Jerk&#39;s Top Ten List...

    by Soul Suckin Jerk

    eh, what the hell, everyone else is doing it...1. It&#39;s A Wonderful Life 2. Full Metal Jacket 3. A New Hope 4. Dumb And Dumber 5. Dancer In The Dark 6. Rob Roy 7. Ben Hur 8. Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade (MORIARITY, I CAN&#39;T BELIEVE YOU THINK THIS SUCKS! DIE! j/k) 9. Seven Brides For Seven Brothers 10. Magnolia (cringe...flame on). I anticipate that FOTR will bump one these off. I can&#39;t believe how consistantly good the reviews are (excellent review MOR). they&#39;re just pouring in. im frightened by it.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:21 p.m. CST

    why do we have to read the books first?

    by 14byit

    why can&#39;t we just go into the movie fresh? Please enlighten me.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:23 p.m. CST

    There is still one out there...

    by MinasTirith

    That can create magic on the screen and enthrall me. That&#39;s the Shandyman guy, Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. His next one with Mel Gibson about Crop Circles I am really looking forward to. He is simply a great creative writer. No matter how much we bitch about SW though, and rightfully so with TPM and ROTJ kind of too, it is an icon of all our lives. Yet still ESB was not directed by lucas, so if you wish, sign this petition, yeah, it&#39;s a shamless plug. --- So us even thinking this is the NEXT SW pays homage to the SW universe, but it&#39;s time has come. Lucas didn&#39;t grow like everyone else did. And we all love to tear down what we love, especially those in and around Hollywood. ---- http://www.petitiononline.com/dgkomxpq/petition.html

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:26 p.m. CST

    LOTR Review

    by google1

    Hello All, Some idiot posted an edited copy of my review on is going on other message boards posting under my UID. Just to be clear, so people will stop with the email flames. That wasn&#39;t my official review and I did not post that on IMDB, Corona or anywhere else. I will post my official review on my site at http://www.eclipsemagazine.com , IMDB and a few other places, including here on Tuesday. I posted a rushed copy of my review on my website last week, and five minutes later I took it down, it&#39;s been spread all over the Internet and people have been editing it to make it even worse and posting it on a bunch of Tolkien related messageboards under my name. Just because hey, I guess SOME Tolkien fanboys have nothing else better to do with their pathetic lives. I&#39;m sorry for the confusion this has caused, but I can&#39;t control all the idiots out there. Isn&#39;t the anonymity of the internet grand? And if you see posts on other messageboards and forums out there from people claiming to be me, it isn&#39;t. I can barely keep up with the with the wonderful hatred on my own Tolkien forum that alone go on a bunch of others to flame about a film, I could care less about. Michelle

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Aragorn&#39;s final line

    by Eowlegree

    I&#39;m getting conflicting reports. Is it "Let&#39;s go kill some orcs." or "Let&#39;s go kill some orc." ???? There&#39;s a big difference. The first sounds like the choice for a course of action. The second sounds like an Ah-nuld line. Someone, can you tell which it is?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Don&#39;t go to Eclipse.com

    by MinasTirith

    Just don&#39;t do it, she is only here looking for hits. The bitch took down her review cause it was false as she never did see the movie. Don&#39;t give her any hits please, I beg of you. Rip her apart right here. DON&#39;T GO!!!!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:31 p.m. CST

    TTRL

    by JoeMama420

    I tried this yesterday, but the post order was so fiznucked that it never worked out. I think The Thin Red Line is easily one of the best films ever and that Terrence Malick has as good a visual sense as anyone working today. Not to mention the Soderberg-esque (or is Soderberg Malick-esque?) ability to glean amazing performances from an all-star ensemble cast. I know this isn&#39;t sci-fi, but I think it ranks up there with some of the best visual storytelling and visceral cinematic experiences of all time.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Get the fuck out of here you soulless cunt

    by JAGUART

    Before I really lose my temper.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Hey how do we know that was malexandria?

    by Gordo27

    Hmmmmmmmm........

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Malexandria

    by FrodoLives

    "I can barely keep up with the with the wonderful hatred on my own Tolkien forum that alone go on a bunch of others to flame about a film, I could care less about. Michelle" ------- Errrrrmmm.....if this is the case, then how the hell did you know that it had been posted all over the place? And why are you here now? I agree with the others in that you&#39;re just trying to drive traffic to your site.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:34 p.m. CST

    the Aragorn line

    by Eryndur

    Don&#39;t sweat it folks. Really. I love Quickbeam, and I think his articles on TORn are great, but this is a true nitpick. I&#39;m just pissed it got brought up, because I didn&#39;t even think about it until Quickbeam&#39;s review. Cleanse your mind of that line, because it&#39;s right at the end of the film, and I don&#39;t want people&#39;s enjoyment of the film to be clouded by a perceived anachronism in the last few seconds. When I heard the line, the only thing that popped into my head was, "I must see TTT NOW!!" Actually, now that I&#39;m thinking about it, isn&#39;t the line something like, "Now we hunt orc."? Maybe I&#39;m just forcing a good spin on things. JoeMama, can you confirm or deny? I really can&#39;t remember the exact dialogue.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Aragorn&#39;s line

    by JoeMama420

    If I remember right, I think he says "Let&#39;s go hunt some orc." I&#39;m not sure if it&#39;s hunt (or if orc is singular or plural, but I&#39;m pretty sure I&#39;m remembering it right). The only reason I think he says hunt is because that would make it a vague reference to a chapter title, wouldn&#39;t it? (The Three Hunters or something like that)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:35 p.m. CST

    semantics and parsing

    by Kizeesh

    I&#39;m sorry but I think "Lets go kill some Orcs" sounds more Arnold. I read that it was &#39;Orc&#39; Anyway He&#39;s using it in a sense of lets go kill some (of that race) In the manner a hunter might say, "Lets go shoot us some rabbit." (bad analogy) Or some Jocks saying "Lets go grab some Pussy!" (Ok this is getting worse by the second) Or maybe Michael Caine saying "Lets shoot some Zulu!"

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Thin Red Line

    by MikeSal222

    I agree, TRL was one of the best films of the 90&#39;s. I wish it would have been possible for audiences to see the original 6-hour director&#39;s cut of TRL. The theatrical edition cut out 50% of the story, which is why some viewers were confused. But, even in it&#39;s truncated form, it is a haunting film.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Eclipse

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Are those bad Tolkien boys still tormenting her? Throwing stones through her virtual windows and ringing the virtual doorbell on her messageboard and running away? I wouldn&#39;t know, myself, as I refuse to go there. Mind you, the whole cafuffle has made her almost an internet celebrity. In a notorious kind of a way.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Aragorn&#39;s line

    by MikeSal222

    If it&#39;s "Let&#39;s go kill some Orc", then that DOES suck big time. But, "Let&#39;s go hunt some Orcs" isn&#39;t too bad. Either way, it won&#39;t bother me too much. Let&#39;s face it, this movie won&#39;t be flawless. But all of these glowing reviews can&#39;t be wrong (I hope).

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Thin Red Line!!!???

    by CordyFan

    Overrated and boring. Not trying to start a flame war, but I couldn&#39;t stand that movie. It might be that I saw it at a midnight screening, which was pretty brutal, but I remember really despising it.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Aragorn&#39;s final line (SPOILER)

    by ns1crr

    At the end of the movie Aragorn does indeed say (and I quote): "It&#39;s time to kill orcs and chew lembas, and I&#39;m all outta lembas..." I felt that this line really took me out of the movie, especially when Aragorn puts on sunglasses and pumps his pump action shotgun.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:43 p.m. CST

    keep in mind

    by Eryndur

    that Quickbeam knocked a whole half a point off the film for that line, and he still gave it 9.5 out of 10.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:47 p.m. CST

    A.I. DVD gets a release date!!! March 5th 2002

    by JimDaniel

    Saw so many A.I. posts on here, I just thought I&#39;d relate that to all the debaters out there. Personally, I thought A.I. was just under E.T. as Spielberg&#39;s best film, in some ways OVER it as a work of art. There are still images from that film burned into my head. Haunting, unbearably haunting is how I&#39;d describe it. Why? Not because it deals with a robot who is programmed to love, but because David&#39;s journey mirrors a basic human flaw, our need to have love even when that love is not reciprocated, or possibly never exsisted to begin with - Read: God.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:50 p.m. CST

    ns1crr

    by Spacekicker

    That was damn funny. They Live kicks ass!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Duke Ring&#39;Em 3D

    by Kizeesh

    I likesd the bit where Aragorn finds the chess set, picks up the King and says "Don&#39;t have time to play with myself!" .......Or Not.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:51 p.m. CST

    That one line ruins the whole trilogy for me

    by wilko185

    ;-) Ahem. In TTT Aragorn tells Eomer something like "My name is Strider. I am hunting orcs." then goes on to boast about how good he is at it. "Let&#39;s *kill* some orc(s)" does sound incongruous though (for Aragorn, anyway. Gimli could probably say it, and Legolas would reply "How many, short-arse?") ____ [There&#39;s an edited version of malex&#39;s review being played for laughs? Deary me, why bother. BTW the original is pasted right here: http://www.aintitcool.com/tb_display.cgi?id=10936#373719.]

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:53 p.m. CST

    even now....

    by Kizeesh

    Do you people realise that at this very second, Harry is probably either mentally composing.....or writing.... his FOTR review.....and he&#39;s taking his time......and making us WAIT.....Cheeky Bugger.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 3:53 p.m. CST

    MinasTirith

    by BilboFett

    For some reason I laughed out loud over your plea to not visit her site and to rip her here. That, my friend (I call you a friend because of our mutual like for the very subjusct that we are all here for) made my day...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Orc(s)

    by Eowlegree

    Nothing against Quickbeam, but docking .5 off for ONE line seems a bit extreme. Does he give .5 for each good line? Wouldn&#39;t that make up for one little line? Dang, now I&#39;m interested to see exactly what that line is... Maybe it&#39;s the inclusion of "some" if you&#39;re going to use the singular version, "orc". It&#39;s like saying, "Let&#39;s go kick some ass" rather than "Let&#39;s go kick their asses". Aw, what the hell am I saying? I dont&#39; know... ass, asses... I just hope the line isn&#39;t blatently modern and cliche. That&#39;s what I&#39;m trying to say. Not that Shakespeare ever talked about going out to "kick their asses" in those words. Well, Quickbeam is the first I&#39;ve heard mention it. not even Malex said anything about it. But then, she probably didn&#39;t see it. Yeah, like hell she&#39;s actually here posting...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:09 p.m. CST

    WOW.. Moriarty.. WOW!

    by PR_GMR

    Moriarty... amazing review!! I haven&#39;t read such a passionate take on a film in a long long while.. and I agree with you wholeheartedly:We have been living in the sad age of lowered expectations for far too longs.Blockbusters have been sucking for ages...and the masses have been eating them up,thinking there was no other alternative. Alas, on Dec 19th I will be sitting down at my local movie house and relishing every minute of Peter Jackson&#39;s visionary film.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:10 p.m. CST

    made in new zealand..

    by Chris_NZ

    i&#39;m a kiwi (new zealander) and for one am proud of Peter Jackson as a fellow new zealander and what he has been able to achieve and accomplish for himself and our country, especially in an industry so heavily dominated by hollywood and all its suits. in saying that credit must also go to new line cinema to trust peter jackson in his wishes to use new zealand landscape and to use new zealand special effects company that quite frankly put ILM and other such outfits to shame. like posts before, i think the bar in general is going to be raised when this movie comes out. i havent seen it yet, but i&#39;ve read a tonne of reviews and never in my life have i ever come across a film with reviews so overwhelmingly positive from people across the board, newspapers, fans, hard-ass critics, everybody. this could be the film that says to hollywood that the public is no longer going to tolerate below-grade, piss poor movies. and hype.. there seems to be a lot of negative views on hype, its as if people dont want to get &#39;hyped&#39; by the coming of this movie out of fear they will be disappointed. this is probably because of years of disappoint, years of promised blockbusters that consistently fail to deliver anything at all. there has been the odd gem amongst them, but generally you can expect these movies to be a failure. but people like to by hyped up, people like to get excited and pumped up by the joy that can be created by a truly great movie. its what we&#39;re all waiting for. so i know that hype has burnt many a movie fan in the past, but i say allow yourself to get swept up in this movie, give yourself grand expectations.. because sooner or later one movie will come along that lives up to that hype and then surpasses it beyond anything you could ever hope to imagine, and thats when you are truly profoundly affected and touched for the rest of time. anyway thats my rant.. i dont usually partake in these things but i thought i&#39;d give it a go. i&#39;ve never read tolkien, so i&#39;m not a fan of his, but i can clearly see he has many admirers. and may i say that i&#39;ve never been more proud in my life to be a new zealander then i am right now. i&#39;m so happy that the rest of the world will get a good look at my country, and what its people are capable of doing.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Don&#39;t worry if you don&#39;t like Tolkien - yet

    by codex

    I first read the trilogy when I was in middle school. Hated it, really. It was dark and disturbing, and dreadfully tedious. Tried to force myself through the Silmarillion as well, but I couldn&#39;t get past the first page without risking a brain hemorrhage. Fastforward several years to my freshman year in college ... just reread the Hobbit in my &#39;Monsters and Morality&#39; freshman writing class and decided the time was ripe to give the trilogy a second shot. Didn&#39;t hate it this time, but it was still awfully boring. Fastforward again to after graduation. I&#39;d taken a course in mythology and realised that the Lord of the Rings wasn&#39;t really Tolkien&#39;s magnum opus ... it was the whole cosmogony, the whole mythology that he created for this very Earth. That was a revelation. I picked up the trilogy yet again ... and gosh, how I loved it! The plot was decent (not incredible or anything) but the richness of the history and the language and the vibrancy of the whole mythology that he created just drew me in. My favourite Tolkien book is now the Silmarillion, btw =). BTW, to those people complaining about spoilers ... there&#39;s a spoiler sign right above the link to Moriarty&#39;s review. Secondly, it should have been quite obvious near the beginning that he was going to go into lurid detail about everything - you didn&#39;t have to read all of that. I just skimmed quickly over that and started reading again near the end when he was done.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Competition

    by jallan

    Why talk about competition between Harry Potter and The Fellowship of the Rings. A lot of people will see both. Perhaps more than once. If The Philospher&#39;s Stone had not just been released, would that make any noticeable difference in the number of people who would see Fellowship? If Fellowship had not been released, would that make any noticeable difference in the number of people who would see Harry Potter? Neither film hurts the other. Indeed they may help each other. If someone who doesn&#39;t think fantasy is his or her thing, is totally sucked in to Fellowship, then maybe that person is more likely to give Harry Potter a try. As to reading the books, Tolkien&#39;s The Lord of the Rings has been a best seller since it went into paperbacks in the 50&#39;s. This doesn&#39;t mean it is for everyone. Nothing is! Personally, I love the book, the evocative prose style, the descriptions, the delightfully slow buildups. And it was written, to some extent, as a childrens&#39; book, though it grew beyond such parameters as Tolkien worked on it and it. But how can a book that is, in fact, often read by young teens and enjoyed, be a HARD read? Well, some who try are, to be blunt, poor readers, unable to take in anything beyond the simplest action tales. Atmosphere and description are beyond them. They don&#39;t like anything much that has literary merit, and what they do like they appreciate on the most superficial level only. Others find it, honestly, not to their taste. Perhaps it&#39;s Tolkien&#39;s style, or perhaps their suspension of belief cannot accomodate creatures like Tom Bombadil or Treebeard, or perhaps, on the other side, they find Tolkien too simplistic and too unliterary a writer for their tastes. There are literary types who look on Tolkien&#39;s work as little more than pulp literature. There are readers (or viewers) of schlock fantasy who can&#39;t stand Tolkien&#39;s books because they are too literary. But one thing all the reviews by those who have read and loved the story agree on is that the film is not, like some adaptations, essentially a new work inspired by but very different from the source text. Instead the film, we are told in review after review, truly brings across the essence of the story, of the characters, and of the themes in the book, interpreting them in a way that fits the book. It is not a new creation I say "book", becasue The Lord of the Rings is indeed one book, divided into three volumes, or more rarely into seven volumes, for reason of size only. It is not a trilogy of three partially independant novels. The book is the raw material. And it has been the raw material for imitators and imitators of imitators for over forty years. It&#39;s where D&D comes from. No heroic fantasy of its kind before (and yes! there are previous similar works) or after has had the same critical and popular success. It&#39;s foolish not to at least try to read books that have given so many others such pleasure, if you feel any kind of liking for the kind of thing they are about.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:19 p.m. CST

    18th?

    by poor tom

    I was just on LOTR.com and I purchased tickets to a showing on the 18th at 12:01am. Is that possible or just a typo? someone please help

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Well jallan if you&#39;re going to get all snooty

    by zzyzx

    Some of us like characters in our books. It takes more than an elaborate history to make a good book.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Poor, poor Tom

    by Almost Sexy

    Any chance you&#39;re named after a very underrated LZ song? Anyway, I have to tell you that your ticket is for a Wednesday show. I know it says 12:01 12/18, but it&#39;s definitely the first Wednesday showing of the movie (i.e., starting at the first minute Wednesday mornig). I have midnight tickets here in seattle, and the Cinerama does the same thing. I heard it&#39;s because most movie theaters have a first show of the day matinee policy, and they wanted to charge for full price tickets if they were gonna be open in the middle of the night. To re-iterate: Your ticket is for the midnight that falls between December 18th and 19th, not between December 17th and 18th, which is where one would expect to see 12:01 am, December 18th. I hope that makes sense.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Amen, Moriarty.

    by Hagrid1

    Glad you got your enthusiasm back brother. It&#39;s a good thing to share...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Stupid question

    by JimmyTheHand

    "skin color is white! how come there arent any asian, black or hispanic looking hobbits, elves, or dwarfs" Because the story focused on a cooler region of Middle Earth. There wouldn&#39;t be any blacks in that part of the region, they would be further south. Also, How can there be asians and hispanics in Middle Earth when there is no Asia or Mexico?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Okay, listmaking and other topics

    by Billy Talent

    Well, it seems like we&#39;re in for a hell of a movie. For perspective I&#39;m going to spend the next week (six days, whatever) looking back at some of the greats and also a few of the worst - so here I offer up my humble best and worst lists, in no particular order, not necessarily top tens. It&#39;s all subjective. 2001 A Space Odyssey (Okay, the rest of the list is in no particular order and is by no means authoritive, but this is indisputably the greatest movie ever made.) Godfather I & II Star Wars IV & V 400 Blows Ran Barry Lyndon Taxi Driver Notorious Citizen Kane Alexander Nevsky City Lights Beauty & The Beast (Cocteau) And many many more. And now for the worst - Jailbait - This is the last worst movie I&#39;ve seen. Movies like &#39;Fight Club&#39;, &#39;Die Hard&#39; and &#39;A Clockwork Orange&#39; don&#39;t make me want to hurt people. This movie did. Directed by Allan Moyle (Pump up the Volume), this movie was made here in Vancouver, and I&#39;m acquainted with some of the cast. This movie made me not want to know them. I can&#39;t remember the last time I was so angry at a movie. Sideshow - This is the first movie I&#39;ve seen in quite a while from Producer Charles Band and his once wonderful Full Moon company. There was a time in the early nineties when they churned out a movie a month, and me and my friends couldn&#39;t devour them quickly enough. Some were better than others, but they were almost always good fun. So I was very excited to spot &#39;Sideshow&#39;. Unfortunately, it is in every way one of the worst movies ever made. A bunch of impossibly stupid teenage punks fuck around with the circus freaks, and terror ensues. It sounds good. It&#39;s not. Getting Lucky - I saw this a long time ago and I don&#39;t remember it that well. It has something to do with a leprechaun helping a nerd to get the pretty girl (and she is very pretty.) Again, I remember this film, seventeen hours long, making me very angry. Space Girl - I think that&#39;s the title, again it was a long time ago. This is a sixties softcore movie with a Buck Rogers theme. Some of the girls are hot, however the film is beyond incompetent. All of the dialogue is overdubbed, and the actors do not move their lips at all. Very strange. Very very bad. Troma Wars - I liked &#39;Toxic Avenger&#39; but I have otherwise learned the hard way to avoid the Troma label at all costs (although recently they&#39;ve released a few interesting imports.) I&#39;ve never seen &#39;Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid&#39;, but I&#39;ve been assured that it&#39;s the most god awful thing ever. Maybe, maybe not. &#39;Troma Wars&#39; is pretty bad. Pearl Harbor - I&#39;m being a little unfair here. On many levels, this film is no worse than any other Hollywood piece of crap, and it is a lot better (though far from good) in terms of acting, script, and production than the rest of the films on this list. However it really is an ultimate monstrosity of Hollywood cynicism. Imagine the climax of &#39;The Phantom Menace&#39; had Jake Lloyd and Jar Jar Binks screaming &#39;Yippeee!&#39; whilst hot dogging an airplane into the World Trade Centre, and you get the idea. Few films are so completely wrong. She&#39;s Outta Control - What did I just say? This &#39;comedy&#39; about Tony Danza lusting after his teenage daughter is as grotesquely wrong as any film has ever been. This ain&#39;t &#39;Lolita&#39; or &#39;Happiness&#39;. It isn&#39;t &#39;Spanking the Monkey&#39; or &#39;American Beauty&#39; either. This is &#39;She&#39;s Outta Control&#39;, and it is truly shocking. Frankenhooker - The name says it all. Hail Caesar - A stunningly awful vanity project, written, directed by and starring Anthony Michael Hall as a rock singer with dreams of stardom. Judd Nelson and Robert Downey Jr. appear. It really must be seen to be believed. Myra Breckinridge - I kind of think of &#39;Moulin Rouge&#39; as being the &#39;good&#39; version of this, &#39;Xanadu&#39;, the Bee Gees &#39;Sgt Pepper&#39; and others. Actually, Rex Reed has a very peculiar kind of charm in this film, partly because he clearly wishes he was somewhere else. A very strange, very bad movie. Anyone know what ended up of Alan Sarne? Oh but there are so many more. Good and bad. So I will leave you now.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:01 p.m. CST

    The case for attacking other franchises.

    by rabid_republican

    Okay. A topic all too familiar here has been raised. Just why do we (lowly fans) see it fit to attack other franchises or even individual films for that matter? This relates directly to Moriatry&#39;s argument neatly. For far too long, mainstream movie goers have been too willing to accept by his definition, sub-par film. What&#39;s worse, these crimes of celluoid are not only beating more artisticly viable films at the box office, but are being rewarded with little gold statues they clearly do not deserve. The best examples of this are Titanic taking Best Picture over L.A. Confidential and the collosal insult of Shakespeare In Love taking the Oscar that BELONGED to Saving Private Ryan. Now I&#39;ve used these as what I&#39;ll term "elite examples" of dumbing down taste.____________________________ Which brings us to why exactly we through a fit when films that should be dismissed become a "phenomenon" or "must see", due to clever marketing. This is precisely why we rail against the likes of Bay and Bruckheimer. And yes, this is why we hold certain people *cough Lucas cough* to higher standard. Now while I can certainly attest I don&#39;t have Mori&#39;s standards, I can say I agree that we&#39;re all too often cheated by crap that&#39;s largely uninspired systematicly beating films with far greater depth. So whatever you may think of my Oscar "injustices", before you flame, remember that this happens all the time, in lower rung flicks that only see Oscars for special effects. This is the pure essence of why the LOTR crowd is feeling its oats. Because if they&#39;re right and the critics are right, then it can&#39;t go wrong and we&#39;ll have something really worth worshiping as much as we did SW back in the day, pure n&#39; simple. Ironicly, I write this as an SW fan, with only passing knowledge of LOTR. This has always had a lot more to do than just having our childhoods "raped" (which I think is overstaing the case). It always has.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:03 p.m. CST

    My major concern?

    by Smugbug

    Is that AFTER the last credit has rolled up and I&#39;m left there in my theater seat realizing that this movie is over. That the wait was over. I had finally seen FoTR. And what then? What&#39;s left? Will there be anything else WORTH MY TIME? Will there be anything else in my DVD collection or video collection that could satiate my movie pallate until the next time I see FoTR? Oh and another movie in my Top 10 All Time Best: Kurosawa&#39;s RAN. Goddamn that movie is STILL brilliant. And while I&#39;m at it, throw in Excalibur.

  • Why do so many elitist snobs think reading a book is such a great indication of culture and intelligence? How they prefer to "use their own imagination" and read the book. Well, IT&#39;S NOT YOUR FREAKIN&#39; IMAGINATION, IT&#39;S THE AUTHOR&#39;S!!!! You are merely visualizing what the author has imagined. If you&#39;re so cultured, shut your refined mouth, get off your high white horse, and go create something yourself. Even if films can&#39;t go into the same detail as books, you can certainly still THINK about the ideas and themes when they are presented, and you may even get MORE out of it by experincing the interpretation of some of the best artists in the world! (especially in instances like this LotR production.) Sorry for yelling back there, I have this anti-elitist condition from dealing with fucking asshole art snobs in college, with all their fucking politics and love of fucking BAD art, simply because it&#39;s something they haven&#39;t seen before, and everyone other fucking art-clone likes it. What a bunch of fucking sheep. I apologize for the rant, but these cultural elitist snobs will label a true work of art (like this movie will surely be) as being "simple childish fantasy". The same people will visit an art show the next day and swoon over what a "great" and "important" work of art it is they&#39;re seeing, when in fact, it&#39;s just a fucking mannequin with a cast of the artist&#39;s gentials glued on the crotch... well, I officially say "Fuck you" to all these people! I understand art is supposed to be a matter of opinion; but really, it&#39;s not- there&#39;s a shitload of politics in art, mostly influenced by insecure people who just want to appear more cultured than others. In fact, I would say modern "art" is more politics than art.**** Ok. Rant off. I feel better now. By the way, I think film is the highest form of art.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade did not suck...

    by Sgt. Bilko

    And if you think it did, you can say so with out talking down to us, you know.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Where are the white folk in CTHD?

    by General_Patton

    Wah! Ang Lee is a racist! BTW, Harfoot hobbits have nut-brown skin. I suppose someone is going to kvetch about the dimunitive black guy stereotype now.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Woah, Woah, Woah

    by Justicer

    Jimmy Hand- Aint no way there&#39;s white hobbits cuz its cooler there. Aint half as cool as it would be if there were Asian/Black/Chicano/Samoan hobbits-word? Bring in Da Funk of the Black Elves!

  • How on Earth could you say that Burton&#39;s creation was crap? It is the finest comic book movie to date. Oh yeah, better than Superman or X-Men. Keaton was the coolest Wayne, and the darkest Batman. The sets were masterpieces. I love the other films you mentioned but please...take a Valium and get a grip.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Batman

    by AliceInWonderlnd

    Gotta say, I agree that "Batman" was rubbish. Jack Nicholson ran away with the film, but didn&#39;t take it anywhere good. "Batman Returns" was better, back in the days when Tim Burton was patchy but good.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:14 p.m. CST

    A.I., books, and, because I&#39;m bored, my list

    by XTheCrovvX

    Ok...except for The Crow being my all time favorite, I have no numbers for these. XTheCrovvX&#39;s Top Twenty(cuz 10 aint enough)....The Crow, Dancer In The Dark, Akira, Ghost In The Shell, Perfect Blue, Terminator 2, Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Dark City, Pleasantville, Blazing Saddles, A Clockwork Orange, Back To The Future, Interview With The Vampire, Face/Off, The Untouchables, The ENTIRE Indiana Jones Trilogy(YES, that includes Temple of Doom AND The Last Crusade....feck off, Moriarty....)...and Magnolia...there...now go away....oh, and next...the A.I. thing...most of what A.I. great, you can attribute to the notes of one Stanley Kubrick...but, its a joint effort...much as Kubrick acted as a guide beyond the grave, Kubrick probably wouldnt have pulled off certain things, emotionally, in the way Spielberg did, which is why it *is* one of his best, Spielberg&#39;s, that is. And, now having had time away from the film, i can say this: I&#39;ve come to appreciate the ending. And a quickie about books-turned-movies.....from my movie-going experience, there have been 5 movies as good or better than the book...Psycho, A Christmas Story, Fight Club, The Shining, and The Exorcist. But what is the key to those movies is that they *don&#39;t* require you to have read the book...which is, as far as I&#39;m concerned, where I&#39;m not quite convinced yet with LOTR....i haven&#39;t heard that many "uninitiated" reviews yet....as I stand, i started reading the book about 3 weeks ago, but because Ive been just a busy sod(Note-I&#39;m not British... I just like their curse words...), I have only gotten as far as the meeting in the bar with Aragorn/Strider....So while I&#39;m not totally ignorant of things, I&#39;m not going in, expectations & fanboy obsession blazing either, thereby deftly avoiding the hype....I&#39;ll either be supremely impressed, or i&#39;ll walk out with the same indifference i had going in. But the one thing i know is this...i WONT be nitpicking..I&#39;m done here...now where&#39;s the Unsinkable Mr Knowles&#39; review?? Revolution is my name...

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:29 p.m. CST

    First negative review on Rotten Tomatoes

    by modalman

    Ross Anthony (who the hell is that?) has the dubious distinction of lowering LOTR tomato meter rating from 100% to 93%. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/click/movie-1108476/reviews.php?critic=columns&sortby=default&page=1&rid=272489 Here is what he says, "Bounteously bold, gorgeous, video-game-esque battle sequences are placed like decadently rich chocolate chips in this huge sugarless cookie of a film that over bakes the pan. Threads made of board-game rules, special effects and the backbone of Tolkien&#39;s successful book of the same name sow this "hobbits & wizards vs. evil" yarn. Surface deep dialogue offers little for more mature audiences. And while kids may be entranced with this journey that never seems to end both figuratively and literally, they may nod off between bouts. Forged many hundreds of years prior, a set of golden rings were given to rulers of the land; however, one ring was made in secret ... the ring to rule over all the others. A satanic like being used the ring&#39;s strength to win war after war ... but then, somehow, the ring got lost. (That gone-missing bit is rather glossed over.) Anyway, soon enough a young hobbit named Frodo from the Shire (a woodsy place of hyper-happiness) inherits the ring and its burdens already boiling near. Elijah Wood (oddly reminiscent of Michael Landon in "Little House on the Prairie") is Frodo. Then, with the spirit of the slain ring forger becoming strong enough to almost take form, the evil beings, neither dead nor living (but pretty intimidating with swords and horses) set out to nab that ring back. Frodo, forced to journey out of the Shire, battles the bad guys (of free style evil form) with his own band of mystically medieval allies: an archer, a wizard, a warrior elf, etc. Occasionally taking pause to banter about strategy, half of the film displays this "fellowship of the ring" journeying about vast landscapes encountering undefeatablely evil beings and then defeating them. In fact, the &#39;journey, encounter evil, destroy evil&#39; sequence loops often enough to dilute itself. Among the onslaught of computer effects, some very impressive ones grace screen. Fireworks explode into the skeletal image of a flying dragon then dive inches over the heads of ducking hobbits, water horses create a raging river, an awesome octopus attacks, Gollum&#39;s eyes glow alluringly, a good wizard stands against a huge carbon beast on a precariously brittle bridge. These are all visually spectacular, but, like high sugar candy, won&#39;t sustain the viewer through a 2.5-hour plus production. Some substance takes hold in the ring&#39;s desire to be found by its master. Now, there&#39;s some drama. Further, while longing for the master, the ring is perfectly content to draw any wearer into the darkside of its master&#39;s reign. Hence, whenever the ridiculously innocent, pure as snow, Frodo slides the ring onto his own finger ... bam, he disappears from reality and enters the surreal world of darkness (created hauntingly well here). It&#39;s definitely an epic undertaking, long with intermittent brazen fight scenes, sort of an "Apocalypse Now Junior." Unfortunately, and unlike Coppola&#39;s masterpiece, the most profound thing about LOTR is its length. I had to use the restroom at the two-hour mark, and frankly enjoyed the break. Nor does LOTR deliver a payoff to its patient audiences." This guy sounds like a mental case, and I&#39;m not saying that because I&#39;m a LOTR fan. I mean, he says the movie is "sown" from "board-game rules", among other things. What is he saying, that they use D&D rules when they fight??

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 5:31 p.m. CST

    A bad review

    by General Sarcasm

    Has anybody seen this bad review of LOTR??? http://www.rossanthony.com/L/ltrfellowship.shtml This guy gave Corky Romano an A- and LOTR a B WTF?!?!?! WHAT A LOSER!!!!!!!!!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6 p.m. CST

    Eryndur, Joe Mama, Frodo.Lives anyone who&#39;s seen it

    by Silvio Dante

    The Aragorn line has caused a lot of concern, but what about the Gimli&#39;s little quip in Moria when he&#39;s being assisted at those crumbling stairs? Do you know what i&#39;m talking about. I&#39;m pretty sure that wasn&#39;t in the book...I might be wrong, it&#39;s been over a decade I read Fellowship

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Morty trashes A.I. and Unbreakable, praises The Mummy returns an

    by togmeister

    Now he says Fellowship is near as dammit the best thing to happen since mankind first crawled out of the primordial soup. WHATEVER.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:14 p.m. CST

    The general public...

    by General Sarcasm

    ...go to movies to be entertained. That&#39;s it, that&#39;s all they want. They don&#39;t treat it like they are going to an art show. A great story and great acting are just a bonus but not necessary for them to be happy with the $7 they spent. This is why there will always be loads of crap at the theater, becuase the general public does not see it as crap. On another tangent, there will always be "event" movies and they will always be successful at the box office. Look at Titanic or Pearl Harbor. Why do so many people go to these movies? Becuase curiosity is human nature and they want to see what all the "fuss" is about. Plus, they don&#39;t want to be the only person in a crowd that says "I&#39;ve never seen Titanic". We can complain about bad movies all we want but we are few and they are many. I guess this is pesimistic, but I don&#39;t see it ever changing.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Why read the books now?

    by Dr. Retard

    I&#39;m as big a book-lover as anyone, but I see no reason to read Tolkien before seeing these movies. The main reason: "Heavenly Creatures" is undoubtedly my favorite film; moreover, it&#39;s the only film I&#39;ve ever loved and the winner of the &#39;thing that has most drawn my obsession&#39; prize. I&#39;m not a huge movie buff, but this one film threatened to make one out of me, by dint of sheer engrossment. And Peter Jackson&#39;s other movies are also cool as hell. I put a lot more stock in Peter Jackson than Tolkien. Sorry, but thems the facts. Perhaps, and for all I know, Tolkien offers a far more rewarding experience than does Jackson. But I really doubt it, considering that Jackson was responsible for my personal height in being emotionally and mentally invested in a work of art. And these reviews certainly don&#39;t undermine this judgment.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:31 p.m. CST

    paaaaaaaaLESE

    by gorkamorka

    After Mor went and insulted Jedi, Raiders, Batman and Jurasic Park i&#39;ve lost respect for that man. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Can you imagine what "The Storming of Isengard"...

    by Skyway Moaters

    ... is going to effing look like ?!!! Moriarty got me to thinking about the second two films and about what&#39;s yet to come before I&#39;ve even seen FOTR! And that&#39;s just one of hundreds of scenes that leap to mind after hearing Moriarty&#39;s discription of some of his favorites in FOTR: Shelob&#39;s Lair?, The Dead Marshes?!, The Ride of the Rohirrim?!!, and on and on?!!! AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! Anticipation/imagination overload! These three films are going to feel more " all of apiece" than any other series of films in history. All the actors went through the journey together for 18 to 20 months straight, (not all of them all of the time for you nit pickers out there). They didn&#39;t split up and get back together every couple-three years as people that were literally different people each time they came together to work on a "franchise". T2T and ROTK will not feel like sequels at all, they&#39;re already in the can! Post production proceeds apace with only a short break at the release of FOTR. More than in any other movie "Shudder" TRILOGY, T2T and ROTK will seem/feel like chapters 2 and 3 of one grand epic. Wow, got to stop babbling now, happy FOTR viewing all. Namarie an&#39; Trubba Nod, Peter Jackon is a God! SM{;-0

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Gimli&#39;s Line

    by FrodoLives

    You know, I really liked the line. It was one of the funnier in the movie and, frankly, a little humor was a very good thing at that point. You&#39;ve just gone through the whole fight with the cave troll and now have this giant, fiery....THING chasing....just off-screen...just around the bend. The walls are literally coming down around you. It&#39;s a very tense series of scenes. Gimli&#39;s line got the entire theater to laugh perfectly on cue. You realize at that point just how firmly PJ has you hooked. You&#39;ll jump when he says jump....cry when he says cry....laugh when he says laugh. I even liked Aragorn&#39;s line at the end. Just 6 more days....then you&#39;ll see ;-)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Yeah Gandelf I checked out this cat Ross Anthony&#39;s site...

    by Skyway Moaters

    ... and have come to the conclusion that the guy is pretty much a shallow moron who doesn&#39;t read much. His film opinions are bland, middle of the road, jump on the Tom Clancy bandwagon, the "Oh but it&#39;s an acknowledged &#39;Art&#39; film", or, whatever is generally acknowledged as "hip" at the moment. He describes FOTR as a bad episode of the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon: Strictly for the kiddies (along with ANYTHING animated)and not to be taken seriously by adults no matter how slickly executed. He gave FOTR a B-. I checked out a bunch of his other letter grades and a couple of reviews, and they&#39;re all pretty uniformly superficial, boring, and thoughtless. He gave American Pie an A- minus for Smeagol&#39;s sake.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Blowing this popsicle stand

    by Senary

    Makes me sad, such a damnfine review, reminding me how much I&#39;m going to miss Moriarty&#39;s thoughts on film. But as long as this site has that stupid popup ad for Movie Networks that insists that you should load its software (not even once, but fucking twice!), I think I shall get my cool movie news elsewhere. Intrusive, irritating, and Harry is too damn busy to even respond to an email and tell me sorry, but what can he do, he&#39;s gotta make money.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Artificial Womb

    by JAGUART

    As I write this I am completely naked, my waterbed temperature has been set to 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, and filled with a combination of amniotic fluid and cattle blood. I&#39;ve plugged all my orifices with hunks of foam rubber and I now suck oxygen through a SCUBA regulator. The room humidifier is on eleven and I&#39;m covered with a thick layer of uncooked hot-dogs. There will I incubate for the next six days and nights. On the morning of December 19th I shall emerge anew, have my girlfriend at the ready slap my ass, shower up, and head to the theatre, Reborn Once Again.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Frodo Lives

    by Silvio Dante

    I liked it too. Actually, the screening I was in it was the first time there was a real, collective response from the audience. And I think that laughter broke a lot of ice.

  • 1. "The Godfather" 2. "The Graduate" 3. "A Clockwork Orange" 4. "All About Eve" 5. "Boogie Nights" 6. "The Philadelphia Story" 7. "From Here to Eternity" 8. "Raiders of the Lost Ark" 9. "Goodfellas" 10. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo&#39;s Nest". Note the conspicuous absence of "Citizen Kane". It was technically brilliant but lacked anything even remotely resembling heart. And the race issue: let&#39;s bear in mind, folks, that Tolkien never specified the race of any of the characters in his books, so let&#39;s not set the blame on HIS shoulders. He didn&#39;t realize that Hollywood would be such an unknowingly, unintentionally racist entity. If he had, he might have written a part for Denzel Washington or Morgan Freeman or something (by the way, wouldn&#39;t Morgan Freeman have made a badass Gandalf? I think so too). "Shakespeare in Love" is the best romantic comedy of the nineties and "Saving Private Ryan" was a great half-hour that turned into three hours of very strong, but very limited filmmaking. I think "SiL" deserved the award in the end (please don&#39;t flame me).

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:20 p.m. CST

    MAlexandria - your 15 minutes are up.

    by Doubting_Thomas

    Just what I needed - here I was innocently working my way through the talkback, when MAlexandria pops up AGAIN and spouts her neverending bullshit about visiting her site. "It wasn&#39;t me, really, trust me, go to my site ...". It seems to resemble her previous posts, "I hated the film, really I did, go to my site ..." and "I really really did see the film, trust me, go to my site ..." Well I&#39;m sorry MAlex, I WON&#39;T go to your site. ############## Harry, surely there is some sort of rule about ADVERTISING on these talkbacks? The bit on the RHS right now says "NO BLATANT ADVERTISING" - doesn&#39;t this count? ############## As for you MAlex, please just go away, we don&#39;t care anymore. I hope you have enjoyed your fifteen minutes ################# And, once again, DON&#39;T VISIT HER SITE.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:23 p.m. CST

    Behold STRY-dah...the RAN-jah!

    by Andy_Christ

    Ugh

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:25 p.m. CST

    What? Titanic did not make the Top 10 List?

    by DufusyteII

    What? Titanic did not make the Top 10 List?

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Gimli&#39;s Line

    by JoeMama420

    I thought that Gimli&#39;s line was perfect, too. It was my one (sorry to use a heavily-borrowed critical term) laugh-out-loud moment of the film. There are other, well-placed moments of comic relief, but this one definitely takes the cake. He actually has two back to back in a matter of thirty seconds on the Bridge. Definitely don&#39;t want to spoil this one, though!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Well this WAS cynical film geek ranting, Mori

    by Drath

    Glad you like the flick, and a million curses on your evil ass for getting to see it early! But really, you just HAD to turn your love for a movie into unforgiving venom against other films. Don&#39;t hide behind a great film, you&#39;ve loathed Hollywood for this year&#39;s rediculous celebration of Pearl Harbor alone. Sure, this year&#39;s crop was mostly shit(except for AI). But I&#39;m sorry, you&#39;re just wrong about Temple of Doom. Yes, you are. Stop arguing. You are. I hope I love LotR and get that high you&#39;re under the influence of, but I do not accept your cynical view of ALL event movies. Ever since you&#39;re terrible review of AI, I just don&#39;t know what&#39;s going on in your evil mind. You were just wrong about that movie. You were. Stop arguing, you villain! I&#39;m sure you&#39;ll work out your new impossibly high movie standard. Otherwise you&#39;re liable to be arrested for assassinating George Lucas(extra fine for going on the Ranch from which you are SO banned!) ****** Now a point of real love, about the movie&#39;s score. I have resisted listening to my CD until I&#39;ve seen the movie. Soundtracks don&#39;t work for me unless I see the movie first(well, maybe they do, but I prefer it this way). So my question, does LOTR have a signature theme? The music seems to be the one weak link in the chain, with many people saying it&#39;s forgettable. Damned with faint praise, the score has me a little disappointed. What little I&#39;ve listened to(the Ring goes South, May it Be) backs up its critics. All great movies have one thing that is, for me, vital to movie going: A musical signature that at once conjurs the movie when you hear it(or hum it). Lawrence of Arabia is a perfect example, or Gone with the Wind, or the Godfather, or 2001, or the Hidden Fortress, or Back to the Future, or almost anything by Williams(even that souless mess Harry Potter!). Music alone won&#39;t make a movie great, and some movies even avoid having an easy to hum theme(who can hum the Matrix theme, or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?) So does Lord of the Rings have it? It should. It just should. It doesn&#39;t need a motif for everything, and a bombast Ark theme would be too much for the One Ring, but the lack of a strong musical theme is a tragic shortcoming for a movie like this. I hope my fears are unfounded. (You&#39;re still wrong about AI, and you can&#39;t change what I love! Nor can you say I&#39;m dumb for loving it! Well you can, but you&#39;d be wrong. You would be. Stop arguing!)

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 8:32 p.m. CST

    Those damn unreasonable expectations

    by Skylewalker

    Seriously Moriarty, I&#39;ve defended you a great deal in the past, but you&#39;re going a little overboard on this one. I am sure Fellowship is a great film, but don&#39;t you think you should see it a second time or perhaps even sleep on it before declaring it one of the greatest films of all time. This has to be more than an instinctual reaction, it has to be well-reasoned and your explanation as here doesn&#39;t quite do it. Furthermore, trying to score points for Tolkien by bashing the Indiana Jones series is a pretty weak endeavor. Though I respect your opinion, you are not the FINAL WORD on great films. Your review has me even more excited than ever to see what Peter Jackson&#39;s accomplished, but I am a bit sickened by your horribly pretentious approach.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Some LOTR and movie observations

    by Caine

    First of all, the fact that this is TB has so many entries in it already tells me there is a HUGE number of fans out there that will see this movie. Some to laud it, some to revile it. I am one of those that is going, and will probably be in awe after I see it. **** Second, this is one person&#39;s opinion. It is not the gospel truth. No one has that. Just because one person likes a film does not mean that everyone will.Personally I thought 2001 was ok, but not a masterpiece. It seemed LONG- drawn out, and uninspiring. YES, I DID read the book. I know many hail that as his masterpiece, But I personally preferred Paths of Glory. My point is just because someone likes it doesn&#39;t mean anyone else will. So if no one else likes what you like, or if you dislike something everyone else likes, that is ok. It is, really... **** Third. Star Wars is Sicence Fiction. But it was lauded as one of the first modern Myths. A chicago tribune Article quoted a major studio executive in 1997 who said it was "The Holy Grail of Merchandising." That is a very large part of how Lucas made his fortune. He is responsible for ILM, Skywalker Sound, LucasArts, etc etc etc. Star Wars has always been a shameless marketing empire. I bought into it as well as many other SW fans. yes I had the figures, the games, the coloring books, the toys, etc etc etc. (I never got one of the original 12" Boba Fett Dolls, but oh well.......) Many have said TPM was a marketing whore. Well they all were, and how many movies SINCE Star Wars have done the same???? How many did that BEFORE Star Wars? Lucas was not the first to market and sell stuff based on name recognition from a movie or TV show. Deal with it. **** Fourth. Are The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars both rip-offs, yes. When I was in film class, we learned that there are only so many original plots. Every movie, cartoon, or even RPG session for those of you that play - all of them is one or a combination of these plots. Yeah, everyone HAS been ripping off everyone since we first started telling stories and using myths to explain things we could not understand. Some are just more blatant about it than others. **** Fifth. Star Wars is Science Fiction, but could very easily be a fantasy fiction story. Jedi Knights --> Warrior priests that use magic. Lightsabers --> Magical swords that each knight must make. The Force --> a special kind of magic only certain people can use. The old republic in the galaxy --> A large kingdom on a planet. the Death Star --> A devil/dragon/magic beast. The parallels can go on and on. **** Sixth. I have said this many times before, and I will say it again. There is NO competition between Fellowship Of The Ring and Attack Of The Clones. They are coming out almost 6 months apart. They can be compared and contrasted, but they are not competing for the same audience. ewhich leads to my next point... **** Seventh. You CAN like Star Wars Movies, even The Phantom Meance, as well as The Lord of the Rings movies. Honest. You really really can. If you really like one, that does not mean that you cannot like the other. You are not a traitor or heretic for liking both. There is no such thing as a TRUE Star Wars fan or TRUE Lord of the Rings fan. And being a fan does not mean you must exclude all other forms of entertainment, and that nothing will be as good as the story, characters, movie, books, or music you are a fan of. **** Eighth. The disappointment you feel in any movie should never have "raped your childhood." Betrayal by a trusted loved one raped your childhood. Death of a family member at a young age raped your childhood. Being the victim of a violent or heinous crime in your youth raped your childhood. A movie didn&#39;t. If you put that much emphasis on movies, or any one movie or series of movies, I sincerely believe you should seek some kind of counseling to help you realign those priorities. **** Last, but most certainly not least, they are movies. Processed pieces of celluloid or digital tape or video tape (3/4", VHS OR BETA) or DVD. They are not the be all and end all of existance. I like reading about movies, I like finding out the latest news about upcoming movies, that is why I am on this site. However, I do not see these movies as the reason for my existance. I do not care about these movies more than my real family, my friends, or people I meet in the real world. Yes, it IS just a movie. "BEST" is a purely subjective term, and "most popular" must be clearly defined based on specific criteria (most number of tickets sold, gross Domestic Profit, Gross theater profit on first release, Gross Theater profit overall, etc). how much it made will never really be known, because we are talking about an industry that has prided itself on double and triple-entry bookkeeping. How else can you explain how a movie like Batman, which when released in 1989 grossed almost $300 million in the US, yet failed to make a profit (from an article in Entertainment Weekly some years back). But these movies - Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Fellowship of the Ring, or another title you can think of - are just that, movies. Stories meant to entertain, possibly to teach, and to make money for those that helped to tell and convey the stories. That&#39;s it. ***** Having said that, Am I excited? Yes. Am I eagerly waiting the 19th of this month? Yes. Have I bought my tickets for the 12:01 showing on Wednesday, Dec 19th and the AMC South Barrington 30 multiplex, with stadium seating and Digital sound? Yes. Do I expect to enjoy the movie? I hope to. Will See it more than once in the theaters? Quite possibly. Am I obsessing over it, focusing my whole life on it, hinging my hopes and fears on it? Ready to sing its praises as the greatest movie/cinematic experience EVER??? Of Course not. Its only a movie. ******************** But that&#39;s just my opinion.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:17 p.m. CST

    bee! aura! keep the faith

    by kojiro

    Didn&#39;t take long for the Tolkein fundamentalists to come out to play, did it? Don&#39;t let the blandishments or enticements of others convince you to read the remainder of LOTR prior to the next two movies if you don&#39;t want to. It sounds like the two of you just didn&#39;t mesh with Tolkeins&#39; writing style. Neither did I; neither did many other people. If the movies are as good as nearly everyone seems to think they are then I suspect I will miss the opportunity to be surprised by the twists of the story. Here&#39;s to hoping that Tolkien&#39;s bland writing style will continue to result in my forgetting further details of what comes next!Frankly, I envy you two.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 10:27 p.m. CST

    gotta take issue caine

    by kojiro

    Star Wars is not science fiction, it is fantasy. The defining element of science fiction is not that it occurrs in some future time period. Science fiction is speculative fiction, often about future events, but not always. It generally questions the nature of humanity and the consequences of our actions and negative tendencies. 2001, the Road Warrior movies, and even the Terminator movies, are science fiction. Fantasy set in a future time or more technologically advanced time period is as much fantasy as that which is set in more primitive time periods.

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:22 p.m. CST

    THE MOVIES

    by RU486

    I&#39;m a dark mass of ambivalent dreams. What is happening here, am I lossing my mind! Secret codes embedded within the media-sphere. Why are you all laughing at me? Why are the elites testing me? Just let me in!

  • Dec. 13, 2001, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Read the books? Not to sound like a heretic here....

    by Jimmy Jazz

    but I think this film could improve on the book in many ways (Fellowship, especially). I read LOTR in it&#39;s entirety last year, and although I found it somwhat entertaining, I fail to see what the pseudo religious awe surronding this work. Greatest novel of the 20th century? Get a freaking grip. Frankkly it too m several false starts to finish it, due to Fellowship&#39;s endless expositionary dialog and setting descriptions. The Two Towers and Return of the King really picked up the pace (thankfully) but Tolkien seriously needed an editor to reign him in. If Jackson did his job, he gave a visual representation of the storyline sans the lugubrious, self indulgent prose. I dont&#39; think that people would be missing much if they just see the films I&#39;m apologize to all the true believers, but that&#39;s how I feel.

  • I mean really, c&#39;mon now.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 1:42 a.m. CST

    My Top Ten even though nobody asked! ...or axed! for the brothas

    by spiderblood1969

    1.Mannequin 2:On the Move (Why?Because I like to have sex with mannequins okay!!) 2.Police Academy 6 (The others just don&#39;t have the same emotional depth) 3.Jaws 3D (Who doesn&#39;t want to eat Lea Thompson?) 4.Bio-Dome (Pauly Shore is the greatest actor ever...named Pauly Shore!) 5.Cannonball Run 2 (With the first one they were just getting the hang of it but with the second one...PERFECTION!) 6.Striptease (You will believe big plastic breasts can act!) 7.Rocky 5 (Starring the great Tommy "I don&#39;t need no condom" Morrison) 8.Friday the 13th part 8:Jason Takes Manhattan (Jason in New York=Brilliant!) 9.Orca (Who wouldn&#39;t want to eat Bo Derek?) 10.Star Wars:Episode One:The Phantom Menace (Jar Jar Binks=GENIOUS!)

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 1:45 a.m. CST

    Dudes, please...

    by PoopsMcGee

    First off, Xavier&#39;s piece on Paulie&#39;s robot was hilarious. Loved it! Second, hey guys, you know...it&#39;s OK to like both SW and LOTR. OK? Now, come on, dry those tears and we&#39;ll make you a grilled cheese. Now and forever, Poops McGee

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Regarding my best movies, worst movies, and your hatred of TITAN

    by Joey Stylez

    My Top 10 films...1)STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE 2)KING KONG 3)RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK 4)THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK 5) SUPERMAN 6)GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS 7)JAWS 8)RETURN OF THE JEDI 9)THE PHANTOM MENACE 10)GHOSTBUSTERS.------------------My Worst 10 films...1)MANOS, HANDS OF FATE(not even the boys at MST3K could make me watch this) 2)BLANKMAN 3)BATMAN & ROBIN 4)PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE 5)TOMB RAIDER 6)BATTLEFIELD EARTH 7)THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL 8)KING KONG-1976 9)PSYCHO-1998 10)AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS Honorable mention goes out to ROBOT MONSTER, an atrocious film that is so bad it&#39;s funny.--------------I can&#39;t wait to see LOTR. I&#39;m 99% sure this film will kick my ass 6 ways to Sunday. Alas, I&#39;m a Star Wars geek and am counting the days til AOTC.----------------- Finally, what the fuck is up with so many of you guys hating TITANIC? Cameron attempted something on the grandest of scales and for the most part pulled it off. Sure it has some lovey-dovey moments, but guess what, IT&#39;S A LOVE STORY! It&#39;s suppossed to have those parts. It&#39;s a damn fine film. What exactly do you so-called "fanboys" have against it? Is it b/c Cameron DARED to do a serious film and not another fanasty-themed one? Or b/c you hate Leo DiCaprio? Whatever the reason, you all need to check yourselves and see this film again. Spend some time with a woman, that always helps. As always, my opinion is the truth.

  • That was a great review, can&#39;t wait to see the film. I agree totally with the diminished expectations that the viewers have for movies now a days. Its sickening. Planet of the apes made so much money! Anyway, my true hope is that jerry bruckheimer and michael bay get tar-and-feathered for being the idiots they are. Those jokers need to pack-up their shit and leave filmmaking forever. I can&#39;t wait, i just can&#39;t wait ofr Peter Jackson to shame all those comfortable half-ass no talent hacks in hollywood. Time to clear out all the dead wood!

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 3:30 a.m. CST

    This is my first time so I&#39;ll be good.

    by amarea

    Hi! Well I&#39;ve been reading here for the last week just soaking in all the LotR stuff. But I started reading all the conversation about reading the books yesterday and I just had to put in my $.02. My father read the Hobbit to me when I was 4, he started reading LotR to me around the age of 7. I read them for myself starting in the 8th grade. I have never been prone to nightmares, and if I ever got them it was not from movies or books. But I have gotten nightmares from the black riders on countless occasions. I am scared crapless by the Nagul. I have spent nights hiding from Gollum. But the same thing that made those terrors so vivid and intense also made the trees in Lorien and the house of Elrond places that I still think about in a positive way. I have been known to keep a copy of FotR with me because I LOVE to read the description of the fellowship walking in Lorien for the first time. This long descriptions of where they walked and what they saw are what make Tolkein such a master. I think PJ&#39;s movies will be STUNNING, but they will not be capapble of doing justice to the world that has lived in my imagination as far back as I can recall. The thing that makes the books what they are is that Tolkein gives you exact descriptions, and yet does it in such a way that what gaps he does leave let you put in what will make the loveliness lovelier and the horror more horrific for you. Now except for those people whose only use for their brain is to keep their ears from touching, I think that your own imagination will always win out over someone elses imagination, no matter how amazingly they&#39;ve managed to translate it to screen. What made the Nazgul scary for PJ is not necesarily what made them scary for me. And what made Lorien beautiful for PJ might not be what made it beautiful for me. THAT is why I think that everyone should read the books, but read them like a small child. I think that&#39;s one reason why they are as amazing for me as they are, because they are so much a part of who I am as a person. Now just so you know, when I have the money, you can&#39;t drag me out of a movie theatre, I LOVE movies, I hope to be a screenwriter someday. But I understand the value and glory of books. SO that was more like $1 not $.02 but now I&#39;ll get back to studying for my Western Civ final!!!!! ps sorry for an spelling errors. I&#39;m a writing major, and yet the spelling thing seems to escape me!!!

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Talkbackers

    by Pan_Ziege

    Um, first post. LoTR good. SW, um, used to be good. Wondering about the ammount of bile, venom, and geek comments thrown about.....Am I nuts or is it really fucking odd to have such a minority of the &#39;geek culture&#39; (a subculture, if you will) who drink, smoke weed, have regular sex (or are married/seriously involved), and are utterly unidentifiable as &#39;geeks&#39; and co-mingle with other &#39;stealth geeks&#39; on a regular social basis, posting here? I catch a few comments here and there that may identify these mythical "stealth-geeks", but the majority of goo spewed here seems to be of the "Internet Anonymity==Absolute Authority" type. Isn&#39;t the whole point of this site to disseminate information that the conventional media might ignore/cover at their leisure on a slow news day? So why the angry-pissant-geek vibe? Not to sound like a peacenik (cuz the elitist black-metaller in me would find glee in sacrificing 80% of you Yahoos to Satan), but shouldn&#39;t there be more of a community thing going on, aside from a zillion dumbshits over-analzying and butting heads concerning what is intended to be gleefully enjoyable? (The usual coproate dreck aside, there&#39;s been a lot of movies in the last 20 years that have been just plain fun, hell in the last 5...) So, shit, can&#39;t we all just get along, Stealth-Geeks and their purebred brethern together? I mean, shazam, fuckin&#39; relax. -P.z ps - the next SOB to say bad things about 5th element will wake up with pustulating sores courtesy of me, Luc Besson, and Le Messe Noir...... pps - Anyone who started reading comics after the line "Ps. Elf, bring beer" (going by memory here) doesn&#39;t get to have an opinion......christ, if McFarlane was a &#39;big star&#39; when you were cutting your 4-colour teeth, do us all a favor and read without moving your lips.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 5:10 a.m. CST

    Pan ziege, amarea

    by wilko185

    Just thought I&#39;d do what no one usually bothers doing here: "Welcome newbies! Nice posts!" ___ <ahem> No really, they were. __ PZ, you&#39;re correct, of course. The infighting of a few may seem loud and strong, but most folks here ignore the pettiness (I hope). Anyway, I expect you to breed peace and harmony amongst the geek tribes henceforth. Good luck ;) ___ Amarea, I never tire of reading about people&#39;s LOTR impressions. It&#39;s amazing to me how critics accuse JRR of being self-indugent, poring over minute details, and yet he really only gives us the essence of each scene. So, every reader&#39;s vision of Lorien, the balrog etc can be subtly different. I am personally extremely curious to see what PJ&#39;s vision/interpretaion is like. It won&#39;t destroy the originals in my mind, but it just might add to them.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Yes, Mori, but how does it compare to Planet of the Apes?

    by darthflagg

    And did you really have to bash Batman and Jurassic Park? Compared to 99% of today&#39;s blockbusters, those films were fucking masterpieces.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Inflammatory

    by SpacePervert

    Anyone still reading this? I doubt it.. **chuckles evilly** Anyone who thinks Tolkien is bland and tedious and can&#39;t give depth to a character is clearly a Piers Anthony fan. Go back to your Xanth books, you philistines! PS Batman was piss poor, given the source material. Jurassic Park? The dino in Super Mario looked less rubbery, but I did like that toilet gag. Titanic was fun and enjoyable, but I&#39;ve had more dramatic bathtimes.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Wow, n00b friendly posters......

    by Pan_Ziege

    Chuckle, Thanks wilko for the welcome. A bit of an anecdote now....My wife and I celebrate our 4 year wedding anneversary on the 19th, and my wonderful better half _decreed_ several months ago that we WOULD be spending our special day seeing FoTR several times, feasting on barbecue at &#39;Famous Daves&#39; (a spectacular Minnesota based chain &#39;straunt), and busting out with the phat nookie. "Stealth-Geeks" as we are, I dare even the most hardened SW nutcase to craft a more wonderful day. I&#39;ve been an on-and-off JK Tollen fan since about age 10 (I had a roomie who was a serious Fanatic, which put me off it all for a while, which is good that he&#39;s a former roomie, since he&#39;d be staging a Jonestown re-enactment with those fucked up Burger King glasses. Light-up cyanide, yay). So i&#39;m as assed-up as the rest of you ninjas about the impending descent of PJ&#39;s mad experiment. After catching "A journey to Middle Earth" on the Sci-Fi channel with the little woman (who thought the orcs were the cutest things, esp. the uruk-hai) i&#39;m even more anxious. I say, Fuck valley forge, the 13-19th december &#39;01 has gotta be the longest days in memory. Chuckle, Hail Geeks/Nerds/Etc. If you&#39;ve got half a brain, unite and shit. -PZ Ps. Hobbits still suck, but I can forgive JRR for them. We&#39;ll see how PJ handles the &#39;scourging of the shire" and us Hobbit-haters will cackle with glee. PPs - If you&#39;re bitching about spoilers relating to the LoTR talkbacks/reviews....I hope the weather on mars has been nice for the last 30 years you silly bastards.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Time to tune down the hype a tad..

    by BladerunnerSwede

    I saw the movie at a press showing in Stockholm on thursday. And I liked it very much and tought it was very powerful and beatiful (got teary eyes a few times..). But since the hype is so big i&#39;d like to help you guys tone it down just a little bit.. I thougt the photography was beatiful but the picture quailty was a bit to grainy. The picture and colours looked to sharp and have a too high contrast fo my taste. First I thought it would only be like this during the ring-history telling in the beginning but the film had this look all the way through.. It felt a little bit like I had to see the movie, that I liked very much, with a pair of strange and coloured glasses on that I coulden&#39;t take off. You guys rememeber Maximus dreem sequences in Gladiator, this whole movie looked like that.. Then there&#39;s the fighting.. I love good coreographed fighting in movies, and this movie surely had the potetial to have that. The fights are cool but would have been three times cooler if they had not used so fast cutting and the close tight framing. They should have used better coreography, longer cuts and a more moving camera instead. they think they are gonna fool us and blow us away cheating with fast cutting but not me ;-) But I guess this is how they solve things when they don&#39;t have Jackie Chan in all the roles. Excuse the english..(I&#39;m swedish) /Daniel B

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Hobbit on toast

    by SpacePervert

    I too used to hate hobbits as podgy, unhealthy little dweebs, until my 3rd reading, when I realised that Sam is one BAD MUTHAF***KER and not to be messed with. Just recall - Sam hurls himself bodily at the gates of Cirith Ungol and tries to headbutt his way through. Sam squares off against Shelob shouting "You and me, bitch! Outside, NOW!" well sort of, and Sam faces down Smeagol with a flinty stare. For me, the real hero of Fellowship is Boromir. The real hero of Return of the King is Sam. He&#39;s the only character with complete, unshaken integrity.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 11:07 a.m. CST

    There is no "Scouring of the Shire"

    by Silver_Joo

    Peter Jackson said in an interview that this was a chapter the films would not deal with. I am not 100 per cent, but I am sure that is what the guy said. Is Tom Bombadil mentioned in the film at all? He is a very powerful figure in Middle Earth, similar to Treebeard. I can&#39;t wait for the Ent assault on Isengard in TTT. Hell, FOTR is piss poor compared to what is coming... Helm&#39;s Deep, Shelob&#39;s Lair, The Ride of the Rohan, The Battle of Pelennor Fields.. wowee zowee.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Great review, Moriarty

    by Moonwatcher

    Well said, Moriarty. If what you saw was half of what you described, then it is certainly time to stop and take stock of what we&#39;ve been exposed to in the last 10 years. Perhaps our expectations have been lowered gradually over the years, and now we get to see again what a true artist can do when he has the vision (and yes, the money) to see it through. And, how about this for a list of films to fall in love with? Wizard of Oz, Casablanca, 2001, Star Wars, E.T., Fantasia, The Deer Hunter, The Seventh Seal, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Myyyyyyy, preeeeaaaashesss ( coolest sentence in the history of

    by Evenstar*

    Anybody seen the Lord of the rings special on film 2001? It was fantastic, this movie is going ring in a new era.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 4:31 p.m. CST

    What can I say...?

    by Suverlo

    Goddam. I&#39;m sittin here on my own on a Fri nite, nursing the flu and havin just finished reading the reviews for the forthcoming FOTR. And all I can think is ... Hell, I can&#39;t even think. I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I don&#39;t think I&#39;ve looked forward to a movie this much since The Phantom Menace. And yeah, it was pants. But the anticipation was something in itself. Hype? Sounds justified to me. Soon as I heard they were making this film I thought that Mr Jackson has a real job on his hands. But having read these reviews, I think we can all rest easy. The Tolkien purists out there are surely gonna find some fault, be it literary or otherwise but from what (little) I&#39;ve seen trailer-wise, I don&#39;t think anyone should complain. The new millenium&#39;s Star Wars? I really f**king hope so... In fact, no, I&#39;m pretty f**cking sure so. I just can&#39;t wait man. Wanna know how strongly I feel about seeing this film? I read the book in 2 weeks just so I could base it on the epic I&#39;m about to go see. And wanna hear something even more nuts? I reckon I&#39;m gonna enjoy the film more. Okay, so I ain&#39;t read the other two parts of the triology, but rest assured, as soon as I walk outta FOTR I&#39;m getting straight back into that paper brick of a book. Sorry guys. Don&#39;t normally get this enflamed about films and talky bits on the net, just hope that maybe someone reads this and I can add to the glorious sense of anticipation, and like for me ... they love the film every bit as much for it. And to think us Brits are getting carried away about Harry Snotter? Jedi Schmedi. If I was you Mr Lucas, I&#39;d settle for 2nd place NOW. Hobbits, rings and classic all-round film-fantasy history? Bring it on Mr Jackson. Please. Bring. It. On.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 4:45 p.m. CST

    It better be good...

    by Andrew

    I have read too many exstatic reviews for it to be less than brillant. BRILLANT. It&#39;s got to be the best thing I&#39;ve seen in 5 years. Better than FIGHT CLUB, better than SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, better than AMERICAN BEAUTY. It&#39;s got to be pure magic. If it&#39;s not I&#39;m gonna run amuck. AMUCK. I&#39;ll never log on to this poorly designed site ever again. I love Harry&#39;s ramballings but I&#39;ll get over it. I will. It&#39;ll be tough but I can take it. Okay? You better not be messing around. You hear me? Do you? God... I can&#39;t wait... I&#39;m actually skipping my FILM CLASS to go see it. You hear that? If it&#39;s not the coolest thing I&#39;ve ever seen I&#39;m gonna blame you for causing me to miss important FILMMAKING information that will help me make a movie that THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING should have been. I&#39;m not saying it&#39;s gonna be bad... I just wan&#39;t you to be warned. I really need some serious entertainment. I&#39;m watching SPACE COWBOYS on Digital Cable right now and it&#39;s not helping. I&#39;m going to see VANILLA SKY tonight. I have high hopes but I don&#39;t think Tom and Cameron will delever the kind of entertainment I need right now. The Spider-Man trailer has left me a little high but it&#39;s wearing off fast (maybe I&#39;ll take a hit of Spielberg&#39;s MINORITY REPORT teaser to get me through the afternoon). I&#39;ve got a trash load of DVD&#39;s but most of them are blockbusters and according to Morariaty (SP?) they are basically pieces of crap. My hand hurts...

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 8:20 p.m. CST

    NO FUCKING SPOILER WARNING

    by Anti-fanboy

    Thanks for ruining the fate of Boromir for me, who the fuck ever put this up without a spoiler warning. God damn. Thanks again.

  • Dec. 14, 2001, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Now THAT is a review!

    by denmonx

    Especially compared to Harry&#39;s, which was more of a travelouge of his life than anything at all to do with the film. Grats Moriarty.

  • Dec. 15, 2001, 1:39 a.m. CST

    HUNT not KILL HUNT not KILL and another eyewitness account

    by EjectButton

    Yes, I&#39;ve seen it too. And I&#39;ll see it again. The Line is "Hunt some Orc (or Orcs, can&#39;t remember exactly)." Apparently our TORn friend wasn&#39;t really paying that close attention, and put what was in his own mind into the mouth of Aragorn. Next ... You people neet to get OVER the Boromir spoiler! Over 100 million copies of the books have been sold and clueless-you expects no one to talk about the plot. Don&#39;t read the reviews on a site like this if you don&#39;t want some spoilers to slip through. What can I say about it? I saw the first Lord of the Rings movie when I was 12 (one year after I first read the books . . . twice) and I was dissappointed. I&#39;ve been waiting 23 years for someone to do it right. Jackson and Crew did indeed capture all the awe in Tolkien&#39;s world and the struggle and the loss and the questions, etc. in a condensed plot that keeps moving and each scene is so full of action, detail, and nuance you&#39;d need 40 eyes and 20 brains to process it all in one sitting. Plus if you like monumental, breath-taking scenes, freakin&#39; amazing swordplay and the occassional pointy ear and weird-ass snarling creature which you can just about smell the stench of. Well. Then this is your movie. If you like a movie with guts and theme and wit and moments which move even geeks to spout the kind of sentimental stuff about nobility and sacrifice as we&#39;ve been hearing. Well. This is your movie. It&#39;s beautiful, gorgeous, and too short. About 15 minutes more of character development would be fabulous. But that&#39;ll happen in the sequals, so what am I complaining about? I&#39;m complaining because I have to wait until 12:01 a.m. (yes, there are midnight showings, for whoever was doubting their advance ticket purchases) on the 19th to see it again. If you haven&#39;t read the books, see the movie. You don&#39;t need the books to follow the story. But then you&#39;ll want to read the books to get the missing character development (and figure out who&#39;s who a bit easier). And the books are worth reading to matter what. But if you aren&#39;t the kind of reader whose picked them up by now, you aren&#39;t the kind that can get through them in a week. If you have read the books, know that Jackson and the other writers took a few liberties with the story but none with the characters. The worst ones he took keep the plot moving at a decent pace, and the best ones he took brought tears to my eyes. See the movie. It may be the first time in the last 5-10 years you won&#39;t want to bitch about the price of a movie ticket. My only true gripe is a couple of points where the shot goes out-of-focus (no, not in a pre-raphaelite sort of way). Don&#39;t know if it was the print, or the projectionist. I definitely hope it isn&#39;t a problem the next time I see it. Oh, and anyone who can bash a film which is getting decent reviews without seeing it probably shoots blanks in all arenas. For an audience of one. Or two if they use a mirror. TTFN

  • Dec. 15, 2001, 3:08 a.m. CST

    Help me...Please!

    by archonprimus

    One of the posts I just read spoke of getting teary just reading this review, and I believe it. I&#39;ve been misty-eyed and salivating for over a year now just thinking about some of the earth-shattering moments I&#39;ve been reading and worshipping for twenty-two years finally, finally, FINALLY brought properly to life. I&#39;ve reread Tolkien&#39;s masterpiece about every 18 months since the time I was ten. So what is my major malfunction? Why am I sitting here now, almost weeping at your descriptions? Because, as much as I want to actually taste this world, I don&#39;t know now if I can pull myself to go see JRRT&#39;s life work butchered so that Jackson could (for instance, in the case of Arwen) "...have a chance at creating a meaningful screen romance." Humph! I don&#39;t believe the original author intended to make this a romantic vehicle. Contrary to popular internet postings, Jackson did NOT create this world, Tolkien did, and I feel that Jackson, in many ways was out of line. Many, many of the scene changes I have read of (I&#39;m West Coast. I still have 5 days to decide), supposedly to streamline the exposition of plot and reduce screentime, were totally unnecessary in both regards. Some things can wait to be explained, or not explained at all. Put a banner in the movie just before the closing credits that says "Now read the book!" If I go, I will take my son and daughter. In another year or so when they might start reading the books, am I going to hear a cry of: "Hey, Dad, Tolkien changed the part where Arwen single-handedly fights off the Nazgul."? If anything like that ever happens, I will weep. But they won&#39;t be tears of joy or love or breath-taking beauty. They will be tears of heart-breaking anguish. And I will blame Peter Jackson.

  • Dec. 15, 2001, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Ego post redux: I thought I&#39;d post this again here, and who

    by Almost Sexy

    anal-na-thrack: There is no, I friggin repeat no Peter Travers review of lotr fotr up at R------S----.c--. God. All I know is if it only comes out on the print edition of the "magazine," I&#39;ll have to hope someone puts it up in here. Oh well. However, there is a delightfully puerile review up at DarkHorizons.com (and a quick thank you to this website for eating my previous post so that I have to type the whole fudgsicle-sucking thing twice. Double grrrrrr!!!!)! Anyway, the review is mercifully short, so I&#39;l just give you the "highlights." The reviewer&#39;s main complaints are as follows: that LOTR FOTR fails to follow the example of better "popcorn" flicks like the Mummy series, takes itself way too seriously, and doesn&#39;t make the slightest concession towards a girl-on-girl scene (guess he&#39;ll just have to rent Heavenly Creatures). Anyway, here goes: (in reference to the Mummy Series) "There are so many rewindable moments like the sexy girlfight between bikini-clad gold-sprayed hotties Rachel Weisz and Patricia Velasquez which I call the Yummies Return. The Lord of the Rings doesn&#39;t have such wanna-see-billion-times memorable scenes, I can&#39;t single out any. Even the babes are nothing to write home about, very anaemic like they&#39;re dying of tuberculosis, dressed from their heads to their toes, totally unorgasmic." The horror. Imagine women on screen with dialogue and clothes! (Be sure to include an abbreviation for the words "What" "The" and the "F-word" here, to drive home the point that you think the reviewer&#39;s comment here is somewhat questionable). It is certainly a strange move on Jackson&#39;s part to portray thinking, human characters on-screen as also being female. Verily, "unorgasmic" seems to be an apt description for such a decision. Well, maybe Butt Sluts from Outer Space will be out soon. Maybe the reviewer would have appreciated the Bridge of Khazad-Dum scene if the Balrog had had a CGI-enhanced rack. Well there&#39;s always the director&#39;s cut. I didn&#39;t really like the review from the Irish Times either. Only about a third of the text involves having seen the film, and that only just. Well it&#39;s not as if we haven&#39;t seen enough reviews. I did want to read Travers&#39; though.

  • Dec. 15, 2001, 9:53 a.m. CST

    ArchonPrimus is a Grade A #1 Jackass

    by RedCapitalist

    It&#39;s a movie dangit - a MOVIE! It could not have remained 100% true to Tolkien&#39;s orginal work. As for you whine about you poor pitiful children (who I hope to God are not as snobbish as you), I hope you have the heart to read them The Lord of the Rings BEFORE you let them anywhere near the movie. But even if you don&#39;t, what in the world were you talking about when you said you were afraid of your kids saying "why did Tolkien change that part in the story?" Um...I don&#39;t think you are giving your kids very much credit - CHILDREN ARE SMARTER THAN THAT!....ugh, I&#39;m sick of this...

  • Dec. 15, 2001, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Oversized Darth Maul Keychains

    by LabRat

    Touching review, but the Darth Maul keychain thing was a bit much...don&#39;t you think? You only need so much syrup on your pancakes...

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 2:45 p.m. CST

    SEX!!!

    by horrorfan

    Now that i got your attention, a few things. One, I was in the process of reading fellowship when a number of reviews spoiled the death of a major character. (no, not Gandalf!). I know it doesn&#39;t matter to most of you who have read the books, but next time, Moriarty, at least write [SPOILER WARNING!]. I know it takes a lot of effort, and dampens the pompous "beauty" of your review, but consider it for next time. Two, i&#39;m thinking the Darth Maul Keychain Incident is a little overkill. Don&#39;t search for meaning in a broken keychain; i think it just means get a new one. Three. A lot of people are upset about comparing this to AotC. Look, Phantom Menace wasn&#39;t the horrible film everyone thought it was (I enjoy it to death, though I don&#39;t think it&#39;s quite on the level of the other three). Jar Jar got annoying, but deal with it. ATTACK looks to be pretty kickass, and so does FELLOWSHIP. Why already take sides, especially when you people haven&#39;t even seen EITHER ONE OF THE MOVIES???? Fourth, Moriarty, you are wrong. TEMPLE and CRUSADE are both wonderful films (not quite as good as RAIDERS, but still a sight to behold). ROTJ doesn&#39;t suck. It&#39;s awesome. I don&#39;t disagree that hollywood gives us a lot of crap (Scary Movie 2, anyone?), but you may be overreacting. Besides, it cost $300 million to make these apparently "flawless films." How many studios are willing to make that kind of gamble. FIFTH, here are some recent films that underperformed at the box office, but better than most of the crap that Hollywood releases: Magnolia, A Simple Plan, Best in Show, Boogie Nights, Dark City, Requiem for a Dream, Being John Malkovich, Office Space, Pleasantville, Fargo. SIXTH (i know this is more than a few, by now). Best Films I&#39;ve Ever Seen (top twenty, in no specific order). Star Wars, Dawn of the Dead, Vertigo, The Godfather, Shawshank Redemption, 2001, Magnolia, Empire Strikes Back, E. T., Rear Window, Close Encounters, Raiders, Jaws, Return of the Jedi, Nosferatu, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Forbidden Planet, Halloween, Evil Dead II, Psycho. SEVENTH. I can be nothing but underwhelmed when I see this movie. In addition to knowing about Boromir&#39;s fate, the hype-machine machine&#39;s making me ponder this as the messiah of cinema. If you recall, a similar thing happened with TPM, when i expected a flawless experience, and also prematurely found out about a major character&#39;s death. EIGHTH. Guys, chill out. In the end, of this is a defining moment of your life, you lead a very sad life.

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Nitpickers fuck yourselves

    by Messyjoe

    All you guys that are finding fault with "graininess" or "fast cutting" or the sound, or that goodness was not as well done as evil can just eat shit and die. This movie will be great and many of us have waited forever to see it. Nothing is perfect. I will go to see this a dozen times, buy the DVD when available, and do the same for the next two. And I&#39;ll be happy I had the movie experience of a lifetime.

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 7:08 p.m. CST

    Hey guys, LAY OFF Malexandria!

    by The Bow Guy

    I know for a *FACT* that she did not post her own review at IMDb. The AICN Talkbacker who did so knows who he is. To the numbskull who said how could she know where her stuff was posted on the internet, here&#39;s a one word answer "e-mail." That is, all of the e-mail that is sent to her from angry or bemused LoTR fans. This woman has suffered *A LOT* of malignent taunting, some deserved, viz her original post here, most of the rest undeserved, viz people copying her first "review" and posting it hither and yon without her consent, and sometimes under false pretenses. No, this is not a satiric post.

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Killer Elf

    by Kraven

    I guess Lucas was correct to make TPM for eight year olds. Judging by killer elf&#39;s grammar, he is the perfect age to enjoy it.

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 10:26 p.m. CST

    Oh, how the mighty have fallen

    by Doubting_Thomas

    Isn&#39;t it funny how the naysayers are scrambling to find new ammunition? Killer_Elf has slipped from "LOTR will tank and bankrupt its studio" to "LOTR will not make as much as TPM". Big difference there, eh? Soon it will be "LOTR will not make as much as Titanic", blah blah blah. Killer_Elf, who cares? You&#39;re preaching to the converted here. If you want to find like-minded souls, look for the "TPM was not a bad movie" forum, it&#39;ll be more to your liking. And just to keep you happy - POO-POO!

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 10:57 p.m. CST

    FOTR Box Office

    by MikeSal222

    Elf, most of us don&#39;t measure the quality of a movie by it&#39;s box office take. Pearl Harbor made $190 million and Memento made $30 million. By your reasoning, Pearl Harbor is six times better than Memento. I don&#39;t care if FOTR makes $100 million or $500 million at the box office. TPM made $400 million and I hated it. So what good does the $400 million do me if I&#39;ll never watch the movie again? Most of use will judge the movie on its merits, not on its revenue. Sure, we&#39;d like it to do well at the box office, but it&#39;s not the be all and end all. The bottom line is: either FOTR is a good movie or it isn&#39;t. The box office will be what it will be.

  • Dec. 16, 2001, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Box office figures ...

    by Doubting_Thomas

    Once again, who cares? Does it really matter how much money this film makes? What matters is that PJ has made a good film. I have never thought it will make more than TPM - what would that prove? But if it has even an ounce of character, pace, tension, heart, passion or excitement, then it will be an infinitely better film than the sterile, dead-on-arrival TPM. This is the reason that LucasDrones make such a fuss about (a) special effects and (b) box office dollars - because this is all that TPM had going for it, and they know it. Which film will make more money? Who cares. Which is a better film .....?

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 12:05 a.m. CST

    the reviews in general

    by the wanderer

    it is wonderful to hear peoples impressions of LOTR:FOTR, as with you all I am eagerly waiting for the movie to arrive and be shown here. however i am awaiting it for a completely different reason to you all. For though i have read the books (including the hobbit and the silmirallion) I go to the movie to see New Zealand, and though it will be idealised in other minds as middle earth, it will always be home to me. I like others hope for success however the first three movies i ever saw when i was five or six were Star Wars, Superman and Grease so good luck PJ keeping my attention. Keep the reviews coming, good or bad because knowing that PJ reads these he will learn from them both and next time improve sound arrangements and what ever else he can. Also as you all know a good or bad review is an opinion but not yours ultimately you yourself must decide whether you truly like something, just take the time to do that.

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Star Wars?

    by Kraven

    Whats the point of comparing a little kiddy flick like the Phantom Menace with LOTR? LOL it&#39;s like comparing See Spot Run to War and Peace! Give me a break!

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Great

    by BoBaBrain

    It&#39;s fine reading all these gushing reviews. Maybe the film even deserves them. I would like to read a bad review of this film though. It doesn&#39;t have to be fair and even-handed, just accurate. At this point we need a hate filled rant to bring some balance to popular opinion. Can anyone point me to one?

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Box office

    by Daegor

    What is the hang up people have with how this film will perform? Why do we really care as long as we like it. Will FOtR make a lot of money? Obviously yes. Will FOtR break box office records? who cares? Titanic broke box office records and that is 3 hours of celluloid dilaudid. Does the fact that people swell theatres to record proportions make a film good? Certainly not! If it did then old Mark Hamill would have won best actor back in 77 (absurd). All that box office means is that a film is popular, it has nothing to do with its quality. Having said that I think it is ridiculous to expect this film to fail; it most definately will not. I will not be surprised if it does break records, but I will not care one bit if it doesn&#39;t. Popular opinion has never been my guage of quality. If it was then I would love grisham novels, stupid sitcoms, and badly acted Sci-fi epics with thin plotlines.

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Richard Marquand&#39;s "The Fellowship of the Ring"

    by gracedog2

    I disagree with Moriarity -- who I think is otherwise a toweringly smart reveiwer -- but I&#39;m actaully going to try to post my response through Harry, since it ended up being real long. But everyone should get the problems with the problems with the movie just from the subject head.

  • Dec. 17, 2001, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Top 10 and....

    by Samwise Gamgee

    My top 10 movies, 1)The Professional 2)Lawrence of Arabia 3)Deer Hunter 4)The Arrival 5)Shawshank Redemption 6)Planet of the Apes (Remake) 7) Sleepy Hollow 8)Arlington Road 9)Top Gun 10) Blow I know what you thinking, 7 and 6, I like Tim Burton and they are GREAT movies in my opinion. Sam

  • Dec. 18, 2001, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Road Warrior?

    by J.R.R. Tolkien

    Why can&#39;t you refer to films by their correct title? It&#39;s called "Mad Max". Oh, and let&#39;s not forget the more recent example of "Harry Potter and the PHILOSOPHER&#39;S Stone". I don&#39;t understand why the studios deem it necessary to alter perfectly good titles for the American audience. Damn it, damn it, DAMN it! I&#39;m turning in my grave. What next:"Frodo and the Nasty Ring"? Aaaaarrrggh.

  • Dec. 18, 2001, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Road Warrior

    by Daegor

    I don&#39;t know the post you are reffering to, but there are three films in the series, the first being Mad Max the second The Road Warrior.

  • Dec. 19, 2001, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Moriarty was right! I saw FotR last night and now, I no longer

    by Basic Alias

    I saw a midnight screening last night and the whole audience was in awe for the entire 3 hours! This film is one of the best adventure movies I&#39;ve ever seen in my life. I&#39;ve never read any of the books. Now I wanna read them all. Screw George Lucas! Let him slap his hard-core fans in the face with his poorly written, soulless two-hour ads for toys! Let him make a hundred, a thousand, I don&#39;t care anymore! When I left the Phantom Menace, I wanted a better movie. When I left Fellowship of the Rings, I wanted to HUNT SOME FUCKIN&#39; ORCS! And I want to thank Peter Jackson and every single person who worked on this film. I feel like I&#39;ve just been converted. And it&#39;s all because someone gave a damn about the movie he was making. Thank you.

  • Dec. 21, 2001, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Amen, Moriarity...amen.

    by ewem

  • Dec. 31, 2001, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Thank you...

    by Dr. B. Quest

    Best damn film I have seen in a long time. Best, though as to favorite, that has yet to sort itself out (Saving Private Ryan being my current top film). I just wanted to thank you for your words, Moriarity, in that the confirmed what I felt at seeing the movie. It was a great experience, something that really does ruin you for other films... I really hated Return of the Jedi, and Ep 01 was more of the same tripe in a prettier package. But SW did fire people&#39;s imaginations, like foew other things have (all the little films on Starwars.com), But hopefully LOTR will firee imaginations as well, but not only the fans, and amatuers, soon to be making their tiny digital epics, but also the Hollywood moviers and shalkers to either lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way. LOTR really does make other films feel like half assed marketing excercises. Once again, Moriarity, thank you.

  • Jan. 24, 2002, 1:46 a.m. CST

    LUCAS DID NOT RAPE YOUR CHILDHOOD

    by Cajun Lightning

    God, this talkback is a month old but I am posting because I am so sick of that phrase even being uttered, whether in seriousness or not, that I want to strangle the lot of you!!! I have NEVER gotten that pissed at people I&#39;ve never met before! How is it that someone making a bad film when we are in are 20&#39;s, 30&#39;s, and 40&#39;s constitute raping your childhood? How can any movie rape your childhood?!? What the fuck does that even mean!? Does anyone else realize how insane that phrase it, whether you are being serious or not? Christ all mighty. Oh. And Lord of the Rings is probably the best and most spot on book adapatation ever, and in every possible way. But it seems silly to cream ourselves over this one when the best is yet to come.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 4:29 a.m. CST

    Last

    by Kristian66

    !

  • July 11, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    for less than a year Kristian66...

    by just pillow talk

    where art thou now?

  • Oct. 14, 2007, 12:21 a.m. CST

    THE KNIGHT IS HERE

    by THE KNIGHT

    just leaving my mark. great review as always! PJ RULES!

  • Dec. 18, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST

    and knight has fallen...

    by just pillow talk

    I will agree that it was an excellent review..

  • April 13, 2008, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Just watched the EE version this weekend and sill holds up very

    by PsimonSez

    Great movies, all of them.