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MEET RON JEREMY IN CHICAGO!!! Capone Reviews OCEAN'S ELEVEN and PORN STAR!!!
Hey folks, Harry here... Our trusty brew smuggling racketeer Capone decided to watch a right wonderful double-bill of OCEAN'S ELEVEN and PORN STAR! What more could a hoodlum ask for? How about the money from Ocean's and the gals of PORN STAR? That's a good start. Read up and enjoy...
Hey Harry. Capone in Chicago here with two reviews for you. Two very
different but equally entertaining film.
OCEAN’S ELEVEN
I deliberately managed to avoid the barrage of cocky interviews with the cast
of OCEAN’S ELEVEN that have been flooding our T.V. screens for the last
couple of weeks. I’ve even heard people say they refuse to see the movie
because these hipper-than-thou actors won’t leave us alone. It’s easy to
distrust a film that packs so much raw talent (Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Carl
Reiner) and star power (George, Julia, Brad, Matt, Andy Garcia) into a
single two-hour package, I know. If that many cool people are involved, it
must suck, right? ‘Fraid not. For one of the few times in recent memory, a
blockbuster, star-studded movie event lives up to every expectation. I know
people have been excited all year for the first chapters of the Harry Potter
and Lord of the Rings films, but this year my nipples got hardest when
thinking about OCEAN’S ELEVEN. Why? For one reason: the reteaming of
director Steven Soderbergh (who did a double whammy on us last year with
TRAFFIC and ERIN BROKOVICH) and George Clooney. Their last pairing (also
with Cheadle) OUT OF SIGHT is one of my favorite movies of the 1990s and is
one of the very first DVDs I ever purchased. As a bonus attraction, Julia
Roberts haters can rest easy: she’s barely in the movie, and her trademark,
extra-large smile is nowhere to be seen (actually, one of the films best
jokes comes during her screen credit at the close of the film).
In this reimagined (man, I hate that word) version of the classic Rat Pack
showcase starring Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy David Jr., George
Clooney takes on the Sinatra role of Danny Ocean, a masterful con artist
recently released from jail (this movie could almost be viewed as a sequel
to OUT OF SIGHT since Clooney plays exactly the same character). Within 24
hours, Danny has recruited his regular partner Dusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) to
pull of the biggest job in Vegas history: the simultaneous robbery of three
casino’s mutually shared vaults the night of the biggest prize fight of the
year. Since casinos are legally required to have enough money in their
vaults to cover every chip and bet in their casino, Danny figures there will
be at least $150 million on hand. Of course to get to it, you have to get
through more security than most nuclear power plants. Not coincidentally,
all three casinos (the Bellagio, Mirage, and MGM Grand) are owned by the
same scary man, Harry Benedict (Garcia), who just happens to be dating Danny
ex-wife, Tess (Roberts).
For me, the best part of the film is the recruitment of nine other criminals
to pull this off and the preparation for the job itself. As he did in
TRAFFIC, Soderbergh beautifully interweaves multiple stories that all
coverage several hundred feet below the desert behind some of the most
elaborate security measures ever built. He doesn’t give away all the details
of the job during the prep time, leaving many clever surprises for us to
discover as the flawed operation is under way. But don’t think that the film
takes itself too serious. There is a lot of humor along the way, especially
when the crew is forced to improvise when mistakes occur during the theft.
Pitt is particularly good as the guy who just knows how to get things done
despite the fact that Ocean seems distracted knowing his ex-wife is around.
Don Cheadle is great as the British explosives expert Roscoe; blackjack
dealer Bernie Mac is the gang’s inside man at the casino; Casey Affleck and
Scott Caan are a pair of brothers who act as sort of multi-tasking
con-artist; Reiner is the ailing Saul Bloom; Elliott Gould is Ruben, another
casino owner who finances the operation; and Matt Damon does a terrific job
in the low-profile role of Linus, the great pickpocket in Chicago. And wait
until you see the Chinese acrobat member of the team; he’s amazing.
For that matter, the whole movie is amazing. A complex story that is easy to
understand; sexy without any sex; as far as I could tell, not a single
special effect to be found; a tight script; funny without being a comedy;
and pacing that made this two-hour film feel like 20 minutes. Forgot about
who is in this movie (I’m sure you have a bias against someone involved).
Focus on the film as a whole. Focus on the genius of Steven Soderbergh.
Focus on what may be the greatest con film since THE STING. Absolutely one
of the best films of the year.
PORNSTAR: THE LEGEND OF RON JEREMY
The first time I ever remember realizing that I kept seeing the same fat,
hairy, hideously ugly guy running around Hollywood b-movies was when I saw
ORGAZMO. I’ve never seen a porno starring Ron Jeremy, but I’ve seen him
dozens of times over the years in some of the worst movies ever made (and a
couple good ones too, including DETROIT ROCK CITY and his wordless cameo in
KILLING ZOE). Regardless, the man is a film legend, but what about Ron, the
man behind the man (or should that be behind the woman)?
PORNSTAR opens with a four in the morning confession of sorts. Ron is talking
to the camera, presumably after one of his countless personal appearances or
a party, and he admits that he dreads going home to an empty house. Jeremy
lives his life to be surrounded by people, preferably celebrities or people
eager to praise his name as the king of porn. It seems like every film I’ve
seen about porn stars’ lives ends up being terribly depressing (SEX: THE
ANNABEL CHONG STORY, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR about Stacy Valentine, or WADD about
the late John Holmes, just to name a few). And while PORNSTAR hardly brought
tears to my eyes, it does present a touching and very funny account of the
life and career of a man has sacrificed a normal personal life. The film
doesn’t want you to feel sorry for Jeremy, but you kind of do (as much as
you can feel sorry for a guy who estimates that he’s slept for more than
4000 women in his lifetime).
The best thing about the film is that we learn that, in many ways, the
history of Ron Jeremy is the history of the porn industry. He came up in the
ranks during the late 1970s, when porn was still shot on film and had
stories and a budget. But he managed to make his career continue and
popularity grow despite the introducing of the AIDS virus to the scene and
the fact that the guy ballooned and grew hair in places no human should have
hair. A lot of adult films have Ron in them just for the name recognition,
and he loves it. We see Ron running around to parties peppered with
mid-level celebrities (and a couple A-list ones too). He has hundreds of
photos of himself and other famous people, an eligible binder of phone
number that you have to see to believe, and the largest fan base of any male
porn star working, maybe ever.
PORN STAR is a comprehensive work that also features interviews with family
members, who all seem ridiculously proud of Ron’s accomplishments; great
stories of Ron’s youth; dozens of the silliest film clips you’ll ever see;
and naturally, tons of sex. This film is unrated, but we don’t see anything
that Cinemax wouldn’t play late and night. At the center of it all is this
funny little clown of a man whose very existence (let alone popularity)
seems to defy logic. He’s a man of the people, and he’s made it his life’s
work (whether he meant to or not) to make those of us who aren’t body
builders feel like we could have sex with some of the most beautiful women
in the world. Of course, most of us aren’t blessed with Jeremy’s 10-inch
schlong, but we do what we can.
SPECIAL NOTE!!!: For those of you in Chicago, the film opens this Friday at
the Landmark Century Centre Theatre, and Ron Jeremy will be attending
screenings of PORNSTAR Friday night and the first show Saturday. My only
regret about attending Butt-Numb-a-Thon 3 will be missing this chance to
meet Ron. Another lifelong dream dashed upon the rocks.
Capone (I love you Ron Jeremy, Teach Me Oh Master! Click here to E-me Ron!)
Or see my collected reviews at just click on
Steve@theMovies.
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+ Expand All
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I can't wait...
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He must wear the bat-cowl in shame for every film he does for the rest of his bachelor-livin' model screwin' life.
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must have a bigger dilznick than I don't know what.
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Look, I know the guy is a porn star, but Jesus Christ.
Someone get out a calculator. -
That's so dissapointing for this site, now I have nothing to bitch about.
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Waht a ridiculous euphamism, highlighted by the opening remark, that Jeremy doesn't like going home alone...It seeks to make an essentially selfish, carnal act seem more important. the only time i had sex, without sleeping with my partner, was the only time I had bad sex...still, it's a fairly dismall whinge from a man whose deposited his baby paste over that many surgically enhanced chests...
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if its at all like Out Of Sight i can't wait.Clooney was the slickest man alive in that film(that trick with the lighter).any word when we will get to see it here in Europe?
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The Hedgehog would have made a great addition to the new rat pack.
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Oh come on the guy made one really bad mistake. That doesn't change how cool he was in Out of Sight, Dusk till Dawn, Three Kings, etc. -------------------------------------------------------------O.k. I've just remembered the Return of the Killer Tomatoes. Make that two mistakes.
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The mullet he sported in that TV series "Sisters".
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...street hawk? they should never have killed him off...he would have made an excellent returning character, and he was by far the best thing they had in the entire sorry 13 episodes...
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Learn something new everyday... well, Batman 4 was a mistake for all involved, not just Clooney, but it's over.. the mistake was made, can't be unmade at this late stage in the game, so just let it go.. No one's perfect!
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does that include men? i mean has anyone seen ron jeremy do gay porn? i mean i saw a vid of him stick his pickle in a woman older than god, so obviously "the hole doesn't matter". just my sick twisted curiosity in effect.
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Over at IMDB they list over 600 porn films for Ron in his just over twenty year history. That means that, if his shagging is just in the flicks alone, an average of around 6 different women per movie. I have no idea about the porn industry, but that seems a little excessive - I would imagine most porn stars have one or two 'scenes' in a film, and that might mean two or three women involved for Ron. But maybe there are 'auditions' too (I dread to think), and the fame-bonks and normal bonks added in there too. I do recall several articles about the poodle-head metal scene where Ron was an active procurer and participant in the sex sessions of a number of metal bands with groupies and female porn stars (I am sure he was involved with that Rob Lowe fiasco). So maybe 4000 is not too extreme a number. Doesn't always mean that he is a discerning fellow though ...
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If you do get a chance to meet the Hedgehog, have him sign your boob. (And I know some of you fanBOYS have boobs too!) He has signed so many bodies that he can write it clearly in its mirror image so you can read it in the mirror. Pretty cool. I was able to spend some quality time with him when he was in Austin for SXSW and Ron is a genuinely warm person. And to the person that said, "do the math", apparently you don't watch much porn. If you did, you would realize that one scene might have 2-4 girls in a 15min. session. This is a hard working (pun intended) man and he does more than one scene a day, so you do the math.
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But I don't plan on shaking his hand.
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"i mean i saw a vid of him stick his pickle in a woman older than god,"
That's gonna keep me going for the rest of the day. -
I heard Ron Jeremy was on Conan the other week, either during the opening or mid-show "desk bit". What did he do? Was it a "Jeremy Secrets" segment (the way there have been "Shatner Secrets", "Takei Secrets", "Slash Secrets", "T Secrets" etc... recently)? I liked a one-shot character he played on Conan this one time, a few years back, "Suitcase Ron Jeremy", which was his head and arms (though not anything else) sticking out a giant suitcase. That was the entire joke. I also like the time OPEN MIKE WITH MIKE BULLARD (the Canadian late night show) picked Ron Jeremy as their "Man of the Milennium", as he was about the most famous guy they had stock footage of.
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I had a chance to hang out with Ron in Atlanta a few weeks back, and he is one of the nicest, funniest guys Ive ever met. And I have to say, there was no lack of women vying for his attention. he may be pudgy, furry and pushing 50, but he still has it.
http://images.fotki.com/photos/2/23376/41432/joeandron-vi.jpg -
Where have you been hiding these days?
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it's all been downhill since then, well, except for O'Brother, and Frodo Owns Joo!!!!!!!!!
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Dec 05, 2001 9:08:30 PM CST
Ron Jeremy HAS 4000 WOMEN AND CHEETS ON DANNY OCEA>>>oh, fuck it
by artie_fufkin
But nice review though
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on the Ron Jeremy flick. I'm a fan of his stuff (4000? WOW!) and can't wait to see this bio-flick. Had a friend meet Ron and he even got the picture to prove it. Why these cool things happen to me?
(http://www.angelfire.com/sk/echosquad and you'll see what I mean). He said that he is the fuck'n coolest person in existence. -
Dec 06, 2001 12:09:34 AM CST
Ron Jeremy has a beer and rapes George Clooney up the butt!
by spiderblood1969
Ron gives us all hope.If a fat,smelly guy with 14 inches can get all these women then surely I can with my adequate 6.177659 inches.
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Well I sure never logged on this afternoon to talk about some porn stars sex life that's for sure.
To the people doubting how many people he's been with you people seem to be forgetting some things.
1.)Porn movies are just like Hollywood movies, sometimes, well alot of the times, a sex scene gets shot, it doesnt work that well, and like a cut scene in a movie, it doesn't make it into the final movie. That happens as much in the porn industry as it does in the mainstream movie industry. Another words, 600 films? Rank up a couple hundred there at least for scenes cut out.
2.) Sometimes the scene doesnt work cause the girl just isn't good enough if she's an amateur. If shes not responsive, if she doesn't bring the right erotic feel to the scene, and yes they do worry about that kinda thing, then she gets replaced... add a few there too.
3.) His personal life, he's a porn star, I think it's safe to say he has attended orgies and porn conventions. If you want proof this kind of stuff happens at the conventions hire out the Ali G comedians videos, the uncut one, he goes to one and you see all these people getting down and dirty. Add a few hundred there at least.
4.) His personal life. Porn stars have their groupies just as mainstream stars do. Hey if I was single and had groupies from being in the industry, I'd do them? I'd have to say add quite a few hundred there. That's pretty reasonable. And seeing as a lot of females know how well hung the guy is... that's a major draw card in itself.
5.) His movies : 600 films released. And usually the guy does at least 2 - 3 sex scenes per movie. BUT those scenes... dont forget threesomes, foursomes and all that kinda thing. Thats where you can add a few thousand at least.
On a realistic level ok I admit 4000 might be ambitious, but he ESTIMATED. Which means its either below or over 4000. But I'd say it's damn close.
One of my friends is in amateur porn here in Australia, and despite the porn being banned in each state except our glorious (laughs, cries and chokes) capital city (Note every state its censored... except where the politicians are in Canberra hrrrmmmmmm) it's indeed a thriving business. He himself has made around 20 or so films in the past year, and estimates from those movies alone he's slept with around 90 women.
I'm not trying to sound preachy and I'm sure as hell not saying I want to sleep with Ron, but half us men out there wish we could be this guy, admit it, 99 percent of you have at some time wished you could have slept with some of those women in those movies, I know I have and Im sure many of you have too.
So it's not really unbelievable, its just basically the fact that fame can help in every way. Especially in sex. -
I can't believe I wrote a piece on Ron Jeremies sex life lol. That comment was probably about as long as his..... ego.
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They actually made a film about this Gorilla? Don't get me wrong. I'm not an avid collector or watcher of porn, but almost every Porn flick i've seen, his hairy arse pops up. Why I don't know. It's not like he's hung like a bull. And it's certainly not for his looks. And I'm screwed if he can act. He's just proof that some people have all the luck. But then again... you should see some of the chicks he's done. If you can call them chicks.
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I have to agree with you on that comment about seeing the chicks he's boned. I mean god... I found out he was in some Granny gangbang movie.... christ that is gross. I guess as I said, he prefers quantity over quality.
You can bone 4000 beautiful as hell women, but do 1 granny... I can tell you the world will remember you for that granny and not the others... gross.... -
that stupid graphic that opens on every page everywhere you go.
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Did you say "Granny gangbang movie?"
I'm throwing up in my mouth right now. -
i hate ron jeremy, he ruins every porn movie for me.
i have to say though oceans11 is not julia's film so stop mentioning her if all you'd do is insult her -
...is Edward Norton. He would be amazing as...well...anything, but especially someone opposite Brad Pitt (Fight Club was too good not to put them together again). Actually, this film could also use the elder Affleck, seeing him and Damon in the "Dumb and Dumber" roles would be pretty awesome.
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I was watching Jerry Springer the other day and this porn star on it said 'Granny Gangbang' was one of the highest selling porn videos of the last few years.
Disgusting hey. Then I heard he'd starred in it...
Just gotta wonder how the hell the guy gets it up with that kinda situation...
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