I am – Hercules!!

November sweeps ended almost a week ago, and the energy has been sucked right out of primetime. “Smallville” is a rerun, “24” is pre-empted, “NYPD Blue” still isn’t as fun as “Hill Street” and “Frasier” will never be half as funny as “Cheers”.

May I suggest!

At 9 p.m., UPN is repeating the “Roswell” pilot for the first time ever, and the installment? Far better than we remember! Funny, and dramatic, and bursting with the teen romance, it continues to demonstate how “Roswell” out-Smallvilles “Smallville” and reminds all of the giant talent that is series mastermind Jason Katims. Plus, there are surprises:

* “Alias’” twitchy SD-6 tech guy turns up in tonight’s teaser as an unshaven witness to Max’s resurrection of Liz. (IMDb reveals the same actor played Glory’s memorable henchman Dreg on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” last season.)

* Richard Schiff, who was just starting his first season as “West Wing’s” Toby Ziegler, plays the seemingly obsessed Sheriff Valenti’s rascally government accomplice.

* "Twin Peaks'" own Deputy Hawk, half-Swede Michael Horse, plays Valenti's trusty deputy! And how cool is that?

Unaware at first that it was a repeat, I plugged “Roswell” 1.1 into my VCR and found myself unable to switch it off.

Herc’s rating for “Roswell” 1.1?

****

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:

• ***** better than we deserve
• **** better than most motion pictures
• *** actually worth your valuable time
• ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
• * makes you quietly pray for bulletins