Quint's Part II of the BUBBA HO TEP Adventures! See the King Play The King!!! Click Here!

Ahoy there, squirties. 'Tis I, everybody's favorite ol' sea salt and totally crusty seaman, Quint, here to fulfill the promise I made last week. OK, so I said I'd try to make the Bubba Ho-tep set reports a bi-weekly thing... Well, I did say "try." Hey, before you start bitching, I got a new girlfriend... my mind has been elsewhere. So sue me.

At any rate, I'm currently typing this on Harry's laptop in the Radisson Hotel in Minneapolis-St. Paul, as CONvergence is exploding all around me, while Harry's on a panel discussing Science Fiction. I have about an hour to get this thing started before the Big Man returns and we all go out to eat. So, here goes nothing:

When we last left off, director Don Coscarelli was having difficulty finding the pacing on a fight scene involving Bruce Campbell as a 70 year old Elvis Presley and the mummy, Bubba Ho-tep, played by stuntman Bob Ivy. When I got on set this night (shooting started around dusk) Don was in the process of shooting inserts with Bob as the mummy. He had decided to cut the scene up into pieces and then play with the pacing in the editing room.

Anyway, the shot called for the mummy to be creeping around a tree, sneaking up on Elvis. So, Don got lots of close ups and medium shots of the mummy sneaking about and let me tell you, they looked freaky. The lighting was note perfect, setting a creepy and menacing mood. Now, I was watching this on Don's dinky little video feedback monitor, which was black and white. I can't guarantee you that it'll look as good in color just because I haven't seen any color playback. BUT I can assure you that all the shot composition I saw during my visit was professionally approached and executed. Adam, the DP, was always calling for more light here or a slightly darker filter there, tweaking each light to get the perfect atmosphere for every shot in the film. But haven't those color stills looked great?

After getting all the mummy stuff shot, they retired Bob for a bit and called Bruce to set. Still outfitted in his studded white jumpsuit, cape and sunglasses, Elvis entered the set and immediately got in front of the camera. He and Don talked a bit about the shot, which was to follow the bit of action mentioned above and in the previous report. Elvis, walker in hand, is attacked by the mummy, they struggle and by the end of the tussle Elvis ends up on his back, flat on the ground. What they were shooting now was Elvis getting up and defiantly striking a kung fu pose... which isn't too totally out there. Elvis was well known for studying the martial arts. Except you have to remember that this is 68 year old Elvis. He's got a big old man belly, a bad hip and he just got thrown on the ground by a 2000 year old Egyptian.

So, you can imagine what Bruce was doing... the journey of getting to his feet alone... good god almighty... then his pathetic karate chop and kick... the entire crew was holding in their laughter, squinting as their faces turned red. After cut was yelled, everybody cracked up. Bruce did this a few times, varying up the amount of kicks and karate chops and occasionally throwing in an ad-lib, mumbling something about Richard Nixon appointing him as an honorary Federal Agent. I don't know what version of this Geriatric Fu you fine folks will witness, but all were hilarious, so you're pretty well covered.

Now, I want to sidetrack a bit here and go into a bit of detail about this location that Don picked for shooting his epic horror adventure. He found this abandoned medical/rehab facility in Downey, California. This place is run down, but has an atmosphere that is undeniably creepy. He did 95% of his shooting in this place. I was there for most of the outdoor scenes, which were in this little grassy, wooded, park like area in this huge compound that Don had the run of.

Well, I say Don had the run of this compound, but he didn't have complete control. He shared it with two other groups. The outdoors, which meant the park area, the parking lot, the streets, etc., he shared with the Downey cops, who were using the compound as some sort of training ground. There were cop cars all over the place, all the time. There were drills going on every night. One night you'd be walking down to set and you'd pass a regular looking guy, nod a greeting and just as you walk by, a cop car would come screeching up behind you, lights blazing and the cop behind the wheel would jump out, weapon raised and would shout, "Freeze! You're under arrest! Hands in the air!" The passerby would put his hands in the air, the cop would insist he get on the ground, face down with his hands behind his back. The cop would then handcuff the regular guy. At this point, he'd undue the handcuffs and would get notes about how he did.

Pretty odd. But, not as odd as the second group Don had to share the compound with. While the cops used the outdoors as their training grounds, another group had control of the indoor areas. Well, only in one specific building, called the "Casa," which you guys got a glimpse of in the last set report in the pic of the mummy walking down the hall in shadow. Don and the crew had to share that building with ghosts.

I'll fill you guys in on some of the stories I've heard about that building and its supernatural inhabitants as these reports continue, but I will say that having been in that building I can attest that something does indeed feel off. It felt like something bad had happened there. It didn't necessarily feel evil or dangerous being in there, but there was an offness you can't deny when spending any amount of time there.

Anyway, back to the night's shooting. After getting the Geriatric Fu down, they shot a few more little scenes, including one that involved Elvis jumping into a runaway electric wheelchair. During this shooting, a car alarm went off, delaying everything. Don decided to go MOS (which means he shot the scene silent, without recording sound) for this little bit and got what he needed. It was time for lunch. And after lunch, it was going to be a hot time in Downey indeed!

At this point in the writing of this report, I am interrupted by the Big Man and his dad, back from Harry's panel. I end up picking this up many days later, when we're all back in Austin.

Lunch with Don was speedy that day. He needed to be onset as quickly as possible, talking with the stunt guys and effects guys involved in this scene. Now, there is a slight spoiler here... So... Do your counting thing if you need to... I want to make it clear that this is just one part of the final fight scene, not the conclusion. So, this is just tellin' ya how one of the characters gets a momentary upper hand. You have been warned. No bitching later will be tolerated.

With that having been said, the scene involved Elvis setting the mummy on fire with a zippo. It was a big scene and a dangerous stunt. Given the fact that the budget for this movie topped out at around $4 Billion Dollars, of course most of that goes towards the sequel rights to Bruce as Elvis, it was quite a big scene indeed. The chain of events was as follows: Bruce throws a lit zippo at the mummy, the zippo hits the mummy in the chest immediately setting ablaze the dried up, ancient being. The fire will burn the upper body and head of the mummy, causing him to stumble about a bit, walk 15 feet or so and fall.

They rehearsed like there was no tomorrow, folks. Don had to make sure Bob knew the right beats for the character and Bob had to make sure Don knew what he could do as a stuntman. From that a scene was blocked, the cameras were setup and the hour or so of pure rehearsing came in.

One of the problems of being set on fire from the chest up is that you can't see shit. So, Bob and Don mapped out the scene, counted the steps and practiced the beats of that scene. Bob did this always with his eyes closed, having Rosa, the A.D., call out "LEFT!" "RIGHT" whenever he started straying from the predetermined path. So, when it came to getting everything set up, the cast and crew knew the scene backwards and forwards.

Content with the rehearsals, Don sent Bob Ivy back camp to get the burn makeup attached as the crew finishes all last minute lighting and technicalities. It was balls ass cold, folks. I learned my lesson the night before and had come to set wearing 3 layers... I was still freezing my nuts off. Don wanders over to me, gives me a sly look and hands over a small cloth bag saying, "Don't say I never gave you nothin'."

I turned this oddity over in my hands... What the fuck could this little cloth bag be? It looked like catnip. What's Don trying to tell me? Then I found out what this mysterious Godsend was... Heat pack... This ingenious little piece of cloth is actually filled with some sort of natural substance that puts out warmth. I found out later it's sold in sporting goods stores, with skiers being the target buyers. So, my hands were warm for the rest of the night.

It was around this time that one of the crew members approached me. I was sitting in a little blue, plastic chair alone and shivering, watching my breath evaporate into the night to pass the time as this stunt was being set up. It was the boom operator, Mike. I was introduced to him the day before. He was a 19 year old looking to get any job on a film and Don gave him his shot on Bubba.

He came over and said, "Are you Quint?" Don had introduced me with my real name, see? I said, "You bet yer barnacles, squirt!" He proceeded to tell me how much he loved the site and I asked him how he got the gig of booming Elvis when who should appear but the King himself. Bruce pops up onset, shouting, "Finally, it's gonna get warmer out here," which gets him a spatter of laughs from all of us freezing people.

Then up came Bob, in full mummy costume, except for his head which had to be greased up with fire retardant jelly before getting the mask on. There was a couple more rehearsals as the last cameras were finally ready to role. If I remember correctly, Don had 3 cameras set up to get this scene. The pyro guy was ready, the local fire department was onset and ready, Bob was ready, the King was ready... Everybody was ready. In the words of Martin Landau, "Let's shoot this Fuqua!!!"

Hushed anticipation filled the set as the principles take their marks. Don gets all the cameras rolling and we all wait for Bob to give his signal that he is ready. The Mummy hyperventilated for a second, took a few deep breaths, let them out and gave the thumbs up. Bruce threw the zippo, it hit right in the middle of Bob's chest which immediately bursts into flames. Bob flailed for a second, then started stumbling away. Rosa had to yell "LEFT!!!" "RIGHT!!!" once or twice, but everything went perfectly. Bob got to his spot and Don yelled "FALL!!!" The fiery mummy obeyed and collapsed. Don yelled "CUT!!!" and 3 crew guys ran in with fire extinguishers and put Bob out.

Everyone was quiet as Bob is checked. He was A-OK! The crew applauded. Don was happy, Bob was happy, Bruce was happy, the DP was happy... everybody was happy. Bob was allowed to go home at this point. Slacker. hehehehe

The sun was coming, so Don shot some reverses of Bruce throwing the zippo at the Mummy, which was shot over a standin mummy's shoulder. Bruce did some great expressions during this string of takes. In this shot, Elvis is revealing to the mummy that he has a zippo. He went from "Oh, looky who has fire," to "Don't know who you're fuckin' with," to "Oh yes, I am the coolest motherfucker on the planet." Again, I have no idea which take they're going to end up with, but they were all jewels.

The night was wearing down at this point and I got a ride back to my little crappy hotel. Again, I blasted the heater and crawled into bed, falling as deep into unconsciousness as I could without ending up in a coma.

So, there you have it, squirts. Bubba Ho-tep set visit: Day 2 is now known to the world. Go check out www.bubbahotep.com for a really cool little flash teaser set up by Don and Silver Sphere Prod. I'm heading off to bed. I'm plumb worn out. Again, I don't wish to leave you all alone, so here's that pesky mummy again... except this time he's a little bit closer... "He's coming to get you Barbara..."