Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Somewhere near Atlanta right now, Ronnie Dobbs is being held prisoner, convicted on the tough new "No Strikes, You're Out" policy, awaiting his execution by electrocution. Yes, he wanted to jump out of a flaming plane into a shark tank full of razor blades, but the state has no imagination. It's to be electrocution, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Except maybe some terrorists. And the Governor's son. And Ronnie's good friend Terry, who also happens to produce the smash hit show, RONNIE DOBBS GETS ARRESTED.
Confused? You shouldn't be by this point. I've written about RUN, RONNIE, RUN: THE RONNIE DOBBS STORY, A MR SHOW MOVIE several times now, and I get more excited the further they get into production on it.
For one thing, I've been talking with Nick Nunziata over at CHUD about doing joint coverage of the film. It's shooting in Los Angeles and Atlanta, after all, making it the perfect picture for our sites to cooperate on. Nick's been lucky enough to visit the set several times already, and the photo at the top of the page was snapped by him when he was shown the makeup trailer where Bob Odenkirk and David Cross are transformed into the various characters they'll play in this film. Look for CHUD to file stories about this film, as well as AICN, as the production moves forward.
For example, I'm pleased to present to you today a spy report from the development of RUN RONNIE RUN, written by none other than Bob Odenkirk himself. I hope this is just the first report we'll be seeing from Bob and David as they give us a look at just how serious a process it can be to make a comedy...
On July 14, 2000, we handed in our final draft of “Run, Ronnie, Run: The Ronnie Dobbs Story, A Mr. Show Movie”. David Cross and I then went home to bed. Separate homes. Separate beds. One of us jerked off. I am married, so you figure out which one. (Answer below*)
The next morning we woke up to read the following in the “break-downs” sent to agents for “roles to be cast”...
Ronnie Dobbs – COMIC LEAD; An energetic, loutish, white-trash character, early-30’s, with stringy black hair in mullet cut. Looking for David Cross–type: bean-pole skinny, goofy looking, hyperactive, the butt of the joke, tolerated by women / no threat to men, grating voice, with improv skills to build on weak script, burning with attitude but slow on the uptake, frazzled, odd patches of bodily hair, stickly, agitated, able to transform pity into laughter, an uber- Don Knotts – but surly, troubled, chip-on-shoulder, but likable. For low budget feature.
And right under that...
Terry Twillstein – COMIC CO-LEAD: A fey, delicate, hi-energy pitchman/svengali character. Need Bob Odenkirk type: stiff, broad, spits when he talks, handsome to the near-blind, pale skin, small gut, but otherwise shapeless, chip-on-shoulder, terrible british accent that mutates from syllable to syllable, able to improvise to bring logic to otherwise nonsensical script, will pester director, repellant, self-hating, unforgiving, judgmental, yammering nincompoop, over-acts with little or no prompting, difficult, somewhat but not “particularly” likable. For low-budget feature.
We were stunned. Yes, we wrote the movie for ourselves. Yes, we played most of the major roles in our TV series, and yes, David was the original Ronnie, and I the original Terry in the show. But Hollywood is hungry for stars in its movies, and no one gets anything easy.
We called our agents and tried to set up auditions. David got his because of his recent blockbuster appearance as a faux-retard on “The Shoot Me Show Starring David Spade”. I also got an audition. But when I showed up, having learned the part of “Terry” from the script I had helped write, the casting agent looked at me with disdain and, also, pure hatred. “I thought you were here to read for ‘Crowd Member #3’?” she said. I searched for that part, and saw that it didn’t have any lines, just the stage direction: “Crowd Members 1-6 act disinterested”. I tried to act disinterested, and I guess I did a good job because she spat, “You obviously aren’t even interested in this small part!” As I was being ignored I told her I’d love to have a shot at “Terry” and she giggled snidely.
David fared better. He was allowed to read for the part of Ronnie, but was told he was “too right for the part” and asked if he would be willing to coach a more famous actor in it. He stormed out, but later, through his manager, agreed to the coaching gig.
In the end we got the parts because of those last few words in the description; “For low-budget feature”. Those beauties did the trick, turning every viable name actor off and giving us a chance.
Special thanks to Nick, Virginia, Bob, and everyone at Dakota Films for their work on this and future reports. Until then...
"Moriarty" out.
