QT4: Spaghetti Westerns

And on the Seventh day we did not rest... We continued to watch as Quentin introduced from his pulpit here at the cinematic chapel known as the Alamo Drafthouse.

This days sermon would be upon SPAGHETTI WESTERNS. That’s right, Italian six-shooter flicks... The stomping grounds of Sergio Leone, Lee Van Cleef and Clint Eastwood... But ya know what folks... The Spaghetti Western was more than just that.

There were more players. Heck, it wasn’t even the sole domain of Ennio Morricone... though he did rule. Beyond the Leone pasta pistolero flicks, you might be familiar with the Terence Hill TRINITY movies. Before the film began... before Quentin took the stage, he told my father that this first movie was kinda like Trinity... My father grimaced (he does this often), and Quentin responded with... “well, it isn’t quite Trinity either.”

When I next saw Dad he had the fear of subpar Trinity in his noggin.

Quentin took the stage and didn’t really go on too long this time out. He reminded us of Giuliano Gemma, who was fantastic in THE MASTER’S TOUCH earlier in the fest, and how Giuliano was one of the players, one of the stars in the world of Spaghetti Westerns. He said if we like this film, we should definitely check out A PISTOL FOR RINGO and I believe the other title was THE RETURN OF RINGO. Though... I have to say, looking at Giuliano’s filmography I was intrigued by a title... KISS KISS...BANG BANG. I just like the title... And after seeing Giuliano Gemma in two films... I know damn well I’d give it a chance.

Before the film began ran a whole slew of Spaghetti Western Trailers... and folks... the trailers for the Sergio Leone films... they just get the blood boiling. FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE and THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY... I mean, Morricone’s music... Leone’s utterly badass shot selection and the sound of the guns... that sound just pierces right through ya. By the end of the trailers... the audience was already in a whooping and hollerin’ sort of mode.

They wanted a good Spaghetti Western, and Arizona Colt was that Western.

First off, Guiliana Gemma is a damn STAR in the film. He comes across with sooooo much charisma that you just can’t believe it. He isn’t as gag driven as say... Terrence Hill, but at the same time he isn’t as stoic as Eastwood. Instead he falls right smack dab in the middle.

It is known to us that he’s a crack shot through some bullet ballet work he engages in, we also know that he’s a god of card cheating. BUT what I love... LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE about his character of Arizona Colt is the fact that he’s got the best hero scam going in the biz.

You see, he stays completely hands off... let’s bad shit happen to good people. He picks this girl that likes to keep her legs crossed... targets her as his conquest. He tries flirting with her... but those knees are tied with hogwire, they are not coming apart. Tragedy strikes... she’ll want revenge... he offers his services for hire... the price? A ton of money... PLUS a night in the sack with Ms Prude. And he does this very publicly. EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOWS.

So as he is off on his mission, the town is buzzing about the impending price tag for his deed. And how he handles it at the end... PRICELESS. He’s just a wonderful bastard of a man. I soooooooo could see George Clooney pulling this type of role off. In a way, OUT OF SIGHT had a tad of this kinda feel... in terms of his lead character.

BUT then there was even more fun to be had. You see there’s this one character called WHISKY, he’s supposed to be the old drunk cook fella (aren’t all old cooks... also drunks?) for a gang of ruffians and bandits. He takes a liking to ol Arizona. BUT MY FAVE DETAIL to his character is the fact he has like 30 canteens on him filled with a highly explosive alcoholic beverage... with fuse corks in place just in case he has to kick ass. He uses the strap to fling the ignited canteens and... folks... It is just cool.

And then you have my favorite coincidence of the entire festival. The bad guy in ARIZONA COLT looks exactly like THE DUDE, Jeff Dowd... legendary walker of the Earth.... El Gordo as played by Fernando Sancho... just reminds me of The Dude for some reason.

This is a very very entertaining Spaghetti Western.

Up next was THEY CALL ME HALLELUJAH, and this is everything that WILD WILD WEST could have been had their been one brain in that production.

I really don’t want to spoil to much about this film.... it is really something that you should just... track down. But I will say this.... When you see the nun straddling a telephone pole, pulling a telegraph device out of her garter belt.... When you see the Russian Imperial Guard on special mission in Mexico do his tradition Russian Dance of Doom.... When you see the coolest sewing machine in history.... and lastly when you see 30 men with bowel problems... You’ll realize this isn’t your typical film. This is something entirely different and surreal and cool as hell.

It plays like EL TOPO meeting up with DANGER DIABOLIK meeting up with the television show of WILD WILD WEST. VERY STRANGE. A must see for lovers of bizarre cinema.

The next night was BIG PIMPIN FRIDAY... Oh yeah baby...