QT QUATTRO: ALL NIGHT HORROR MARATHON - Japanese Toho Monsters and Italian Horror and a Mexican Vampire flick!!!

It is now Day 2 at QT QUATTRO.... I was up until around 5:45 in the morning of the Saturday.... writing... At 9:30 this morning Father Geek came in to awaken me... You see, there is an early Saturday Morning Kiddie Matinee... that is one of those Co-Branded SATURDAY MORNING FILM CLUBS for Kids presentations that I do every last Saturday of the month.

Now originally, this particular morning I was supposed to present JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS for these kids... but when Quentin announced the time frame for his latest festival... I deferred to having him pick the film and do the introduction... to give the kids a change of pace. And the film that Quentin has chosen to present... DESTROY ALL MONSTERS.

Now, this film is also part of the all nite marathon tonight... but you see... for me, there’s a couple of different layers to why I have to be here this early.... ONE: It’s my event and I have to introduce Quentin... tell folks about Jason & The Argonauts being moved to next month. AND TWO: Watching this movie and watching Quentin introduce the film for the kids will be COMPLETELY different from his intro for the adults at around 3a.m. tomorrow morning. and then THREE: Father Geek, Quint and I have never missed a single showing of a single film in the entire run of Tarantino film festivals. No matter how ludicrous the time frame was... we always managed to make it. Even Quentin has missed 2 of his kiddie matinees.... as a result... this is a matter of pride.

We arrive at the Drafthouse as a flood of under 9 year olds and their parents fill every nook and cranny of the old dame, and we notice.... Quint is missing. He’s broken the chain.... Now there are but two.... Only two that have been there for everything. Father Geek and myself... THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE... Perhaps I will have to leave early and abandon Father Geek... there by forcing my own quickening.

I get up and begin the process of introducing Quentin... Now one of the things I do is to not kiss the ass of the person I’m introducing... I hate it when someone introduces someone by their list of accomplishments... I mean... the key thing that Quentin is going to of done for these kids is... SHOW THEM DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!!! These kids will be warped forever.... they are certainly on the path to film geekdom.

Quentin draws out tickets so kids can win some free ALIEN toys from HOG WILD... a local uber cool store in Austin... And then sets about introducing DESTROY ALL MONSTERS... I’m going to... not discuss this intro in detail because... later... at the beginning of the ALL-NIGHTer... Quentin was hit with one hell of a muse. I’m talking seriously classic introduction.

However, as noted previously in other kiddie matinee coverage I’ve done for the other film fests of QT’s... This is a nearly completely different Tarantino.... no foul language... no lurid details... but the energy... the pure excitement he gives off to these kids... electrifies them. He gets them in the mood to cheer everytime that GODZILLA appears... buildings being crushed... millions dying... children applauding. It is beautiful....

There’s a series of trailers... Then the cartoons... And folks... I wish I could remember the name of this one Pepe LePew cartoon... but it had the world’s greatest lover line ever in it. I howled with glee. Penelope (the unfortunate stalked kittycat) has just been launched off the ski ramp.... She’s shivering and scared upon her one plank of flying wood.... when suddenly... Pepe is alongside upon two skis... He is acting as though he was attempting to shoot her down... his two paws in front of him.... tracking to her with an invisible machine gun going... “ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK” in machine gun fashion.... Then... using your best Pepe LePew imagination... imagine hearing this line... “I will PIERCE you with my ACK ACK of loooove!”

I will pierce you with my ack ack of loooove!

Has love ever been so clearly defined... For love is truly when you must pierce that person with your own ack ack of love. Delightful... Beautiful.... Beware my love... for I will soon pierce you with my ack ack of loooooove! I love this. hehehehe

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS began and the children... died. This one kid in front of me had two Godzilla trendmaster toys that he was fighting with during the movie... Everytime a monster appeared on screen these mostly under 9 years old in age audience shrieked in glee... Arms raised high... whistles and clapping... And as the film went along... the adults got into it as well... The energy in the room was wonderful.

After the film... Quentin went out to the lobby and spent about 2 hours talking with the kids... crouched down low... listening to what they thought was ‘neat’ and ‘cool’. Quentin chatted with their parents and ya know what? He was really and truly into it. I get the idea that more so even than the other more ‘adult’ audiences... that Quentin is most pleased at watch his kid-film prints through the eyes of these kids. He was sooo jazzed by their reaction... So parents... take note, show your kids them old GODZILLA movies... kids love em still!

After the film and the crowds left, Quentin, Johnny Wad, Dad, Film Society leader Rebecca Campbell and I all stood around shooting the shit for like another hour or two. Telling mutual Dildo humiliation stories about the sleeping and the horrors they’ve awoken to... We discussed theory of all-nite film programming... and just regular... Have you seen.... conversations. A good time.

Father Geek and I left to return home so I could finish my coverage of the first night... and to prepare for the All Nighter...

Upon returning... we settled into our 2nd row center spots and awaited a ton of Japanese Monster Movies and Italian Horror Films. The line up was to be.... THE MYSTERIANS, THE PSYCHIC, MOTHRA, SUSPIRIA, DESTROY ALL MONSTERS, GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER and the Mexican vampire film THE VAMPIRE’S COFFIN.

This night is almost a complete... I’ve seen it night for me. Though last time out when he screened THE THREE MUSKETEERS, THE FOUR MUSKETEER and ZULU DAWN.... well... I was a happy camper even though I’d seen them. Plus with the exception of DESTROY ALL MONSTERS... I hadn’t seen any of these on the big screen.

When Quentin took the stage... I was suddenly hit with the single most brilliant introduction for a genre of film I have ever seen. Quentin’s TOHO FILM introduction... was just... it was just the stuff of magic. He found his groove and rode it through to that scratchy center of this hit record. Now... Now I have to somehow explain it to y’all...

I’ve decided that at some point I’m going to try and bring you this intro in it’s complete glory on video... I can’t do that right now... but to break it down to it’s essentials... Quentin started off talking about how he is a personal fan of alternative universes... like in Comic books where the WHAT IF occurred... and in particular he’s a huge fan of the alternative universe of TOHO... It’s the universe where not only is Japan THE superpower... but they apparently won the space race. Not only that... but they are a benevolent super power. Now... never mind the fact that everytime in history that Japan set out to RULE the world... they were never benevolent. But here... here they are. They are fighting the monsters to save the world... they are negotiated with and attacked by alien visitors... and through it all... They are the primary country of power in the world. Some of the other countries may claim to lend a hand... but JAPAN rules... Quentin went into vast detail which was HILARIOUS in what was a 45 minute introduction that... I was completely enraptured by. I mean folks... Quentin had this rap down to a fine tooth...

It turns out that his print of MYSTERIANS is missing the last reel... but he promises to show us the last reel later in the fest... He called this the MYSTERIANS serial.

Now... the thing that most impressed me about THE MYSTERIANS was the dramatics. The last time I saw this film... I was just a little kid... I remembered the giant robot, I remembered the radar dish guns... but I sure as hell didn’t remember the dramatics being this good. This isn’t “AHHHHHHhhhh GOJIRA!!!” This is some really tense stuff. With the exception of the Mysterians needing to breed with earth women... which is just a contrivance of the Aliens on earth storyline.... The film plays as a pretty scary flick. The opening battle sequence had real people being affected.... Massive citizens fleeing across the countryside... the military helping them... trying to get them out of the way of certain death.... The aliens using propaganda tactics to try and sway regular citizens into forcing their government to obey... FANTASTIC... And... when the film stopped about 20 minutes early... It felt perfect. Now, I don’t remember what the big deluxe laser cannon looks like... but I’m hooked... I want to see how this winds up... It’d be a perfect break between a couple of the WALKING TALL films later in the fest....

Next up, Quentin introduced Lucio Fulci’s THE PSYCHIC... Now, I’ve been under the delusion that Fulci was merely a gore-hound.... and Quentin said in his introduction that this is a typical misperception regarding Fulci... There was a more artful side to him... and in THE PSYCHIC... which Quentin said is his fave Fulci flick... you see that.

The film stars a beautiful Jennifer O’Neill and was originally titled SEVEN NOTES IN BLACK. The other thing is... this is one of the films that Quentin plans on possibly remaking some day. And he even knows who will play the Jennifer O’Neill part... and she knows it too. Bridget Fonda. The earliest this would be made would be at least 4 years from now... possibly longer and possibly even never. Bridget is dying to do the film, and Quentin loves the movie.

Now... for me, I most remember Jennifer O’Neill from the classic horror great... SCANNERS... and this was one of the only films that I haven’t seen that is showing tonight. I was expecting dumb gore... and some atmosphere... What I got was a really compelling thoughtful film that... had the dialogue been snappier and had the film a tad better supporting cast (although the secretary had an almost Thelma Ritter steal the show quality which was adorable) well I thought it could have easily been as good or better than DON’T LOOK NOW... one of my favorite psychic/suspense films. And the ending of this film is just wonderful. The score and the atmosphere really really work.

This is actually a perfect type of movie to remake. The idea for the film is fantastic. The way psychic visions are portrayed and then... followed through upon are great. You see... in most films, Psychic Visions have motion to them... they are entire series’ of events... that play out as though edited for a movie from multiple perspectives that take place... out of body. Here in this film... it’s a jigsaw puzzle made up of images from the past and the present... all jumbled up.. all images that are related but years and years apart.

The way the images play through... how the pieces come together... there is a terrible doomed destiny feel to this movie. You get the idea... that things are going to go terribly wrong. As a result... the idea... the story idea... they are completely dead on with... But the dialogue doesn’t move you along to a modern audience sensibilities.... the film is partially dubbed... and the majority of the supporting actors are.. just adequate. And that’s fine here. But imagine if DON’T LOOK NOW had only Julie Christie... and everyone else were unknown performers. As a result it’s a flawed brilliant film which could very well use a modern take on it. I really hope Quentin gets around to remaking this.

This was my favorite film of the night... as it was a complete surprise.

Next up was a film I’ve seen maybe 30 times in my life.... MOTHRA. I know Mothra so well I can sing the Mothra chant song in perfect high pitched wee person voice and in Japanese. Most people stare at me like.... “DEAR GOD WHAT A FREAK” while I do it, but.... ya know what.... when giant monsters strike out to rule our world... you’ll wish you could tame a 200 ft flying moth to help save your city against the radioactive fire breathing giant lizard thing.

When Quentin went up to introduce this film... he asked the audience how many people had seen Mothra... I was shocked to see about 20 hands go up in an audience of over 250 or so.... FOLKS?!?!?!?! How could you of not seen Mothra? I mean... Dear God... I can understand not having seen MYSTERIANS (can’t agree with the concept, but I understand), but this is MOTHRA.

Quentin then pointed out that not only is MOTHRA a lady... but that in the 4 cinematic confrontations with Godzilla.... Mothra has kicked Godzilla’s ass 3 out of 4. I mean... think about that.... The KING OF THE MONSTERS gets his number clocked by a woman.... Quentin then said... “Not only that, but Mothra is always GOOD. I mean, even when she’s killing millions and destroying Tokyo... She has her reasons... they may not make sense to you and me, but she has her reasons.... Like all women.”

Watching MOTHRA this time out, something new struck me.... It’s a long damn time till something happens. I mean, it feels like nearly an hour goes by before Mothra even hatches... and ya know what... the movie works... Unlike most Godzilla films which have an opening destruction scene... a middle destruction scene and the big finale... Well here... The film is actually a bit structured after GORGO meets MIGHTY JOE YOUNG as an insect.

I’m wildly passionate about Mothra as a big monster.... also I’ve always laughed a bit that the female monster is a long phallic ribbed writhing creature that spews white stuff that sticks all over the city.

I often wonder... Me sick... or Toho sick... a question which will never be answered.

Next up was SUSPIRIA... Now... this is where Quentin and a lot of you folks are going to yell and scream at me... but I loathe SUSPIRIA as a horror film. I think the opening... through the first deaths is masterful... perfect.... great... After that, it’s just tedium to me. I prefer DEMONS or BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE.... any number of FULCI films...

My main problem with SUSPIRIA is that it’s way style over substance. I don’t care about these characters... and this is unforgivable for me, because I absolutely love Jessica Harper in the real world... and to find her so bland and unappealing and devoid of life.... crushes me. I’ve had a film crush on her since PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE which I have seen nearly countless times... And in her Woody Allen films... she’s a jewel. And... God knows I love ballet and women in leotards... SO what the hell?

I agree with every single stylistic point made about the film. It is one of the sheerest nightmares ever brought to the screen in terms of dream luridness.... But I don’t care for the characters... so I don’t buy them. And as soon as the whole witch sub-plot comes into play... I just felt it had officially become lame. NOW... On video I loved the razor wire room scene with that one girl... but on the big screen, I noticed that it really isn’t razor wire, but just coiled wire... and that it isn’t really cutting her... or made to look like it’s cutting her... so basically you have this girl writhing about within a room filled with dysfunctional SLINKYs.

I’ve also always felt that GOBLIN over scored this film and that it lost soooooo much there.

Now having said my piece... Quentin loves this movie. Most of the AICN staff... from Moriarty to Quint to Tom Joad and so on... they all LOVE this movie... and as a mood enhancer, the film works... it’s more impressionistic than it is story... but I like my scary stories to... weave like the greatest of campfire ghost stories...

Next up was DESTROY ALL MONSTERS... Now, you may assume that because I had seen this movie about 16 hours previously... that I probably would just doze off like Cesare’... But you would be wrong. For only mortals need to close the fleshy curtains...

First off... Quentin’s print of DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is.... gorgeous... all the colors are pristine... and for a 16mm print... it really deserves to reside in my home.

Second, when Quentin took the stage to and began enacting out the Rodney King/LAPD giant monster finale... “Oh yeah, you want to fuck with me, fuck you Ghidorah.... Take this... Come on... get up... What I thought!!!” Had the audience howling, and ya know what... it is pretty darn accurate too.

DESTROY ALL MONSTERS is the showstopping super duper whiz wham bang pull down the curtains, we’re tearing down the stage flick of all TOHO time.

This is... legitimately one of my favorite films. I first saw DESTROY ALL MONSTERS at the Texas Union theater here in Austin when I was a very little kid and it warped me. You see... Unlike most little kids that watched Godzilla movies... My parents had a full body adult Godzilla costume. When I was like 4 and 5, they would have a friend dress up inside the costume, which was... perfect, and they would go to various Strip Clubs in town and win their $100 to $500 costume contest. I remember sitting with dad, while uncle Bob or Frank (not real uncles... they are the magical kind) did the Godzilla dance on stage with various jiggling breasts. So in my young mind... MAN IN SUIT.... and..... DANCING TITTIES were associated.... So... GODZILLA RULES!!! And in particular... DESTROY ALL MONSTERS truly rules because unlike any of the other films... D.A.M. proves that Godzilla really is the King of the Monsters... They follow his lead, attack at his behest.... I mean... Godzilla is the monster man, man.

Now... Having said that... you had to then shake yourself for the tonal difference between DESTROY ALL MONSTERS and the next film.... GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER.

This film is something... different. If you have never seen GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER... you haven’t truly lived yet. You know those Alex Ross/Paul Dini... Superman “PEACE ON EARTH” and the Batman “WAR ON CRIME” books. Where the superhero takes on a bigger issue... something more than just supervillains? Well... In GODZILLA VS THE SMOG MONSTER... Godzilla is fighting pollution and working to save our environment. He’s a radioactive activist for a cleaner and safer planet.... No... No... REALLY!

The Smog Monster takes bong...ahem, Water Pipe hits from smoke stacks as his eyes become drowsy and bright glowing red. The Smog Monster is actually made of sludge and shit... and the entire film... you are repulsed and fascinated by the creature.

Then there is the gore factor.... The Smog Monster uses this Sulfuric Acid mist to completely dissolve people... It’s pretty freaking disgusting looking. I mean... there’s that oily slimy look... there’s the diarrhea consistency flow... It’s just friggin disgusting.

Then there is the “SAVE THE EARTH” pop song which is sung no less than 3 times... possibly 5 times during the movie by a Japanese lady in a psychedelic leotard.... And lest we forget the student’s LSD club trip of everyone developing fish heads... It comes right out of FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS... classic.

Then there is the bizarre trombone Godzilla theme which gives him all the menace of clowns coming out of a Volkswagen. A truly DIFFERENT Godzilla film which some of you will hate and some will love.... BIZARRE.

And then the last treat was this old ‘El Ataúd del Vampiro’, aka THE VAMPIRE’S COFFIN... it’s just a short little bizarre Mexican Vampire film from 1957 starring the Mexican Christopher Lee.... Germán Robles. I saw this film through a series of slide show like images.... I was beginning to fade... I would be watching as Robles would disappear approaching walls or doors... a very cool vampirey thing to do.... and as he was biting a neck. I would then see him doing it again. The story seemed to be about a Vampire..... a pair of wacky folks trying to at one point help the vampire, then fight the vampire... From what I could tell, the movie had quite a bit of charm... but at the 27 hours of consciousness level.... I began to lose all of my senses.... I wanted only to cuddle with my little pillow known to me as Salma.

As the film ended... the audience of the remaining 125 or so arose like some strange... bizarre monster zombies... and groggily fell down the stairs and to the ambulances outside. A fun fun night of monsters and mayhem. And at the end... Tobe Hooper and Amanda Plummer were still there. They survived the entire marathon. So... from this point on... Tobe Hooper and Amanda Plummer are full fledged honest to goodness film geeks. Way to go!!! The next night is Heist Night.