Harry reports from the Whitechapel FROM HELL sets just outside of Prague!!!

Hello there.... Harry here, again speaking from the future about the past here in Prague. In the time since we last spoke I have been traveling the city, searching for porn sets, trying to find who I trade this box of levis too and finally... PIVO PIVO PIVO!!! There is some most excellent PIVO in this town.

Immediately upon leaving the computer yesterday I began wandering the streets until I found this bloke with a really fancy car with this winged goddess as a hood ornament. Remember the lead singer from THAT THING YOU DO? Well, he looked just like him, but with more color in his face and a slightly more Brady Bunch hairdo. I got in the back seat of his amazing vehicle and gestured for him to drive me around. He looked at me like I was a madman, so I gave him a 1000 of this funny money, I think that's like twenty bucks american... and we went everywhere. He spoke in Czech, but the longer I listened, I had one of those McTiernan moments, where suddenly I understood him completely. This happened as we passed a gothic church from the 15th century and began to enter the Jewish quarter, where.... if you have ever seen the most excellent film, DER GOLEM... well this is where it was set. I sat in awe... the buildings and the girls in miniskirts rule. I mean they really know how to build both in this town.

We drove down by the river (adjusting my pants) which sometimes is underwater... This liquid flows with the Danube, and the way the light dances upon it reminded of Monet. I never did find Kafka's Insurance Company... I'm still working on it. As for whether or not I brought my digital camera... well... Not only did I bring a digital camera, but my DV... Hopefully I'll have some most excellent stuff for y'all when I get back stateside... The multimedia will take a while because, I leave instantly upon returning home to San Diego for the most excellent Comic Con going on there, then almost instantly I go to Spain for a vacation with Dad.

Now... I suppose you want to hear about FROM HELL.

I had wanted to be all sneaky and covert, I had planned to hire a driver, dress in my 1880 period clothing, and wander in with the extras to get on set... BUT... as soon as I left my hotel this car with these two husky non-English speaking dudes muscled me in. Flashing some shoepolished covered soap carved to resemble a lead injector device. I got in. I was already in costume, fake teeth and all (THANK YOU NEW LINE FOR MARKETING AUSTIN POWERS TEETH!).

We had left Prague when I vaguely began thinking of THE VANISHING, the Dutch film, not the American. I was consoling myself with the knowledge that these two bastards were going to have to spend hours digging my grave... at least I'd have revenge somehow.

There was this massive field of about 2 ft high hay looking stuff, and suddenly we turned left. I saw a sign with skulls and crossbones and some words I didn't understand, but knew must have said... CANDY FACTORY or something.

Suddenly, I saw the tell tale signs of a film set... Trailers... brand spanking new ones. As we passed the one that said Mary Kelly, I realized... oh dear... this is FROM HELL. Then I spotted a Trailer with a big sign that said PIMPS... the Hughes Brothers no doubt. I'm not a dead man. Somehow... life abides... it finds a way in. Takes me to my precious it will.

I next heard a bunch of non-vowels and saw my door open. This either meant, "Out of the car fatty" or "Out of the car Tubbo" or "Out of the car zeppelin lad!" To tell the truth, my McTiernan moment was now gone... nothing made sense again.

I get out and see a gigantic amount of 2 by 4s crisscrossing like Bruno Antony's murder plans. Another tell tale sign... movie set. I eagerly made with my escape from the Tweedle bros, and entered the set.

Now mind you... all day, I've been wandering out in what I can only call one of the absolute greatest OLD cities in the world... so when I say that WHITE CHAPEL looked like a REAL place... I mean it. It looked old and lived in. Almost immediately upon rounding reality and entering this shithole side of London... filled with prostitutes and various criminal wankers... I saw the first store: THE HUGHES BROTHERS CREAMERY.... hahahaha... cheese in the window, brie... the like... And as I turned, I saw blocks of White Chapel circa 1880 or so. This... this was amazing. I've been on the backlots of Universal and Fox and Sony and Warner and... ya know what... THIS TAKES IT.

So there I am walking and doing a few girl named Maria spins while soaking it all in. The horseshit on the cobblestones, I bent... sniff sniff.... ACK GAG...yup, real... Discarded onions and varies decayed veggies spot the streets... There's a cattle trough even. Wow, that's right, and as I stood there, I hear a "HAAAAREEE NOOOOLssss! Hey man, welcome!" and "So what do you think?" these were the Hughes Brothers. They instantly begin pointing out that the dirt on the streets is actual dirt bred from the original dirt and scientificly dated to resemble the actual dirt that was in the White Chapel area. And also, that the paint used on the buildings was actually taken from samples of the White Chapel area, and then mixed using the vintage forms of paint creation. And the blood at this one crime scene... that is the actual victim's blood saved from the vials stored at Scotland Yard and stolen specifically for use in this film.

It seems that the Hughes Boys had scene some 'tribute to James Cameron' and making of Titanic thing last night, and well... they were performing caricature. BTW... I must note, I am now on my second PIVO Urquell of the morning... MUHAHAHAHHAAHHAaa... updating in the sunlight... beer delivered to my computer, beautiful non-panty wearing miniskirted babes with accents out my window.... That's it, I'm moving. Hehheeheh

Sorry... I was living the moment for a second there. Back to the story. Suddenly... This beautiful redhead comes up and takes my hand. My fingers press into her palm as I hear Albert or Allen say, "Harry Knowles meet Heather Graham." To which I say, "My dear your beauty dims the light of Prague and makes it plain. Thank you for giving my world a beauty for which to bask in.".... Ok, that's bullshit, I believe I said, "huh huh uh, um, Hi" She looked at me with those Rollergirl eyes and I melted. I was supposed to tell her to marry Moriarty, but all I could do was leak ever so small amounts of clear fluid... Damn runny nose. She said she had to go get in costume. Which meant to me... That the process of touching my hand, immediately made her want to take her clothes off. I went to follow her, but the Hughes' put hands on my shoulders and said, "This way big guy."

As we were walking, Allen would point and say, "Yeah, right there a guy gets a blowjob while a kid watches from over here" and then Albert would say something like, "And right here... this is where Mary comes walking out from between a guy fucking a girl up against the wall, while a guy is bleeding over here." Every step... every corner, nook and cranny of this set had a story according to these two. They'd point to a building and say, "The camera comes down from up there, passing all those windows... and in each window something is happening," and then the other brother would take over, "and as we reach the street we see like a hog wallowing and beggars and..." so on.. They took me on a tour of where all the murders took place. This was the only point where they got a real serious look and tone to their faces. The crime scenes... are exact. As exact as is humanly (and maybe even superhumanly) possible.

As we entered one dark scary alley, one of the Hughes said, "Hold up I have to take a piss," and the other said, "Seriously?" "Yeah" and he disappeared behind the set wall... Man... they are so exact. They even want the alley to smell like the piss it would. I asked if they had been drinking British beer for the exact smell to be right. No answer. hehehe

From time to time, they would point up and say... That's where (insert landmark) will be digitally completed. This should look beautiful. Their DP is Peter Deming (EVIL DEAD II, LOST HIGHWAY) and at one point as we stood in this courtyard/murder scene.... Peter came up to ask about some camera set ups. Excellent. I watched as they began gesturing about the movement, talking about the color of the scene... Great.

"You wanna see the dead bodies?"

I felt like Gordie, Teddy and Chris when Vern told him about where that missing boy's body was found. Oh boy... DEAD BODIES! Oh goody goody goody. I was giddy. I love fake dead bodies. It's like the grown up version of the bloody finger you could order out of the back of BOY'S LIFE.

We went into this strange storage area... very dark.. light coming only from the two or three windows. I believe I was with Albert as he pulled back the plastic sheet to reveal the first body.

Now, I've always had a Jack the Ripper film fetish. It falls into that Tales from the Crypt giddy morbidity of my soul. I've seen A STUDY IN TERROR, HANDS OF THE RIPPER, TIME AFTER TIME, MURDER BY DECREE, JACK THE RIPPER, THE LODGER, etc. But in all of the films, Jack's modus operandi was basically a scalpel insertion and a rip from the gut to the neck or a slicing of the throat. That will not be the case in FROM HELL.

To anyone familiar with Alan Moore's source material.. you know that Jack the Ripper was performing very... religious/Masonic rituals in the killing of these women. A nose would be cut from the face, another's face was sliced till it resembled something close to Jack Goodman... you remember... David Kessler's friend. The abdomen was sliced completely open, skin peeled back... inner thigh cut open, muscles and sinew laid bare. This is brutal. These murders are of the HELLRAISER variety. The nose being cut off the one girl... hidieous... and just when I thought it couldn't be worse... "and here's what you won't see because of the MPAA." and he lifted the skirt up.... And there was the vagina, about an inch to right, an incision was made, and cut up to about mid chest... flesh torn... terrible... gruesome... I want this for my house.

Next I was taken over to the instruments of the Ripper. A box... Masonic symbol by the latch. Inside, red velvet lined. The blades and saw and things I can't even know the names of... all Cronenberg Chromed. These are not really real insturments... think... DEADRINGERS... Some look like weird deadly penis like death instruments.

This is a very very dark film. When I asked them, what this feels like to make... "We really don't have anything to compare it to, we've never really done anything like this before" Btw... I think somewhere in there one of the brothers took over. You have to understand, when talking to the Hughes Brothers... it can be a bit of a BORG experience. They finish sentences, jump in to complete thoughts... and constantly in tandem. It's amazing to watch.

I met the Production Designer for the film... a Martin Childs... he served similar positions on MRS BROWN and won an Academy Award for his work on SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE. This set, should garner some further attention from the Academy. I still can't believe they built WHITE CHAPEL. I mean... wow. After the walkabout with the Hughes'... I told them I wanted to wander. And I did... I wandered the streets... Imagining the fog, the gaslit streets, the clacking of the hoofs upon the cobblestones.... This is London, White Chapel, 1880. Death is walking the streets preying upon unsuspecting women. I would go to a grocer's window and look in.... Canned plums, rice and grain... beans in bags... A tobacco shop with pipes and canned tobacco, cigarettes in boxes the size of a mint tin today. Everything with intricate engraving styled labels. Posters on walls... little handouts really... advertising a magician performing somewhere in town, wanted posters.... Announcing auctions, etc... Everything was a bit wet as it had rained this morning... A slimy sheen to it all. I asked if this would be foggy. A Hughes brother informed me, that while every Ripper film before had had fog, that the reports at the time had it merely misting. So they have a misting machine that creates this.... half rain half fog like atmospheric.

In about four hours, I am off to begin checking out A KNIGHT'S TALE, which according to the FROM HELL producer, Jane Hamsher (producer on FOR LOVE OF THE GAME, APT PUPIL and NATURAL BORN KILLERS) the A KNIGHT'S TALE sets are very amazing as well. So.. it looks like quite a treat. Now, you might have a question... Why, if the Hughes Brothers' production built the 6 block area of WHITE CHAPEL from scratch in a field... why then did they just not shoot in the USA? Well... it all comes down to costs. This set cost $1.5 million to build. In the U.S.... It would have cost upwards of $5-$8 million. The costs are simply that much cheaper.... and the workmanship is beyond reprouch.

There is also a chance that I might get to visit the set of a film called AFFAIR OF THE NECKLACE which is shooting here in Prague as I type and stars: Hillary Swank, Christopher Walken and Adrian Brody... But I won't know till late tonight, early tomorrow if that is a reality. No matter what though... Between FROM HELL, and being here in Prague... this adventure is very worthwhile as I've lived it thus far. Well the streets are filled with the wailing of sirens.... The sun is beaming and more PIVO is to be had.... So long my friends....