ROAD TRIP review

Hey folks, Harry here. Now that every human in the United States has seen MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2 and is sitting there in a confused state of bliss and pissed-off-ness, wondering... what went wrong, why couldn’t it have all been as right as the right parts were, and wondering what to see now...

Well, Today I’ve posted my reviews of SHANGHAI NOON and Disney’s DINOSAUR. And both of those will bring you quite a bit more joy and happiness than MI2.

And I have two more to share with you. ROAD TRIP and CENTER STAGE. First I’ll share with you about ROAD TRIP...

Did you get to see Todd Phillips’ fantastic documentary, FRAT HOUSE? Probably not, but if you did... then his name alone would’ve gotten you into the theater to see ROAD TRIP.

Then.... If you are like me and you have had innumerable friends subject you to repeated fellating of marshmallows by Tom Green, then... well you’ve become a closet fan of Tom Green. For those familiar with Tom, there is a two-fold reaction to this strange man. First there is that, “Oh he’s a really funny funny guy!” and then there is that “Keep that man as far away from me as is humanly possible! Let him be funny on the moon!” I mean, any man that is willing to exploit his own cancer operation for humor will not stop short of making fun of anything available on the planet. Noone is safe from Tom Green.

Now, other than Todd Phillips and Tom Green... I really had no interest in seeing this film. In fact, I had completely written it off... until fate dealt me a hand that had ROAD TRIPS firmly placed in hand.

Remember on May 20th, I was going to have the Sister Satan Baby Shower? Well, it was supposed to rain that day, so the day before I canceled it, and moved it to this coming Saturday June 3rd. Well, lo and behold.... God decided not to piss on Austin that beautiful day.

Thus making me feel like a complete idiot for canceling, but since food and decorations are so not water proof... I moved it.

Went to sleep firm in the knowledge that everything was going to be ok, and that my Saturday would become one of relaxation, and not a day of mindless mayhem.

At 12 noon, my father awoke me. I looked at him as though he were some damn fool. “Leave lone, sleep more, tired am I, begone!”

That’s when he said, “There is a fella from Missouri/Arkansas in our living room. He drove all the way here to meet you. Deal with it!”

What? I so know I didn’t hear that right. So I got up and waddled into the living room to find Karl Childers sitting there sharpening this odd knife thing.

Turns out that Karl Childers had gone to the Alamo Drafthouse and cut 4 fingers off of a waitress the night before until they gave him, my home address and he had been waiting all night to meet me. He had slept in his car, his breath was that of a man who had devoured 4 boxes of Fig Newtons.

He was a bit stunned to be sitting in my living room. It’s not quite like any place you’ve been before. And as he felt the edge to his blade he began to talk about driving non-stop from Arkansas. How, when he got in town he checked the site out at a mall, and saw the delay. He apparently flipped and began hunting me down. He had that... I’ve been sleeping in my car-red impression of the door lock pressed into his left cheek. His hair was all array, and he hadn’t shaved in hours and had that... axe-murderer look to him.

Turns out that Karl Childers was in college. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, and he journeyed to his personal Mecca to seek answers and paths for the future of his life.

My god, this did not like put any pressure on me, like whatsoever. So, I offered him a chance to see ROAD TRIP, then a scope print of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK Original Edition and dinner. He apparently just wanted a brief talk and a handshake... but he started talking about ‘Golden Tickets’ and put his blades away.

Ya see, I felt ROAD TRIP was the only possible movie to see with this stranger from Arkansas. I mean... here was a guy that just one day, picked up what he was doing. Said... “What the fuck!” didn’t tell a soul what he was up to and he filled his car with soda pop, fig newtons and maps.... and decided to hit the road. I mean... what was he gonna do.... Study?

Yeah.... rrrriiiiiiggggghhhhhtttttt.

Before the movie, he wanted to stop in on this house of babes to drop off a picture he had taken with two gals in Japan/Hong Kong (can’t remember which). On the drive we talked about his dreams... What the 4 year old Karl had dreamed of doing. I noticed a Guitar in the back seat. Turns out that he likes to play street corners for tips as a hobby, much to the chagrin of his mom, but it brings him his center. He talked about filmmaking/acting dreams. Saying how he wished there was some sort of middle-class way to get into film. I suggested a good half dozen paths he could follow, and he kept spazzing about how friends back home wouldn’t believe he had me in his car.

Finally after the adorable women, we arrived at the Highland Ten theater to catch the afternoon screening of ROAD TRIP.

Now Karl had no idea that the ROAD TRIP in question was actually a journey from up North to right here in Austin, Texas.

And here I was with the living embodiment of a ROAD TRIP. I wish I had taken a picture of his car... it was soooooo ROAD TRIPPED OUT!

When the film started, it held our utmost attention.

Ya know, this isn’t that great twentysomething generational film for which all twentysomethings will herald as being the defining film of their generation.

This isn’t AMERICAN GRAFFITI or DAZED AND CONFUSED or FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH.

This is a different animal. It’s a Road Trip.

First let me tell you what I really really disliked about the film.

Breckin Meyer/Josh... the lead in the film. He’s the guy that is the instigator of the road trip. He is bland, boring and completely unworthy of having the characters hanging with him.... hanging with him. Having Josh lead this expedition would be like putting Zeppo in charge of the Marx Brothers. WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT? Josh is nothing but a whiney little bastard that I wouldn’t even give the time of day to. And the idea that his meek little ass is the beginning for this story is the primary flaw of the film. I’m actually positive that this reaction is coming directly from Breckin Meyer’s blandness. He just has zero charisma or leadership power. To understate it... he just isn’t OTTER cool!

Other than that major flaw, which knocks several points off my overall enjoyment of the film... I really dig this flick.

Now don’t get me wrong... there is not one comparable moment to “FOOOOD FIIIIIIIIGHT!” or “HAIR PIE!!!” ya know.

This is one of them guilty pleasures. Tom Green is doing the Belushi bits. He’s the wild insane man. And I have to say, I don’t believe I’ve seen someone that holds that magic Belushi spell so well as Tom Green has. I mean... everytime he appears in a shot, you are just waiting for him to do something you haven’t really seen before.

But he’s not all... There’s the ‘horniest guy around town’ guy that is all about being laid... and in the course of this film, when he discovers a hilarious new way to have an intense and uncontrollable spontaneous ejaculation... well, I guarantee that you will PROBABLY not run home to try it out. It’s just a bet on my side.

Then there is the pothead intellectual. Sure, he’s underdeveloped, but his scenes with the physics of a car and a jump, his hotel clerk conversation, his “I can’t die young, I have a feeling that the people of earth are going to need me.” I just loved that line. His stoner scene is also quite funny.

And then there is the strangest weird looking character I’ve seen in a while. At least since the last time I looked in a mirror. D.J. Qualls aka Kyle. He’s a bit of a discovery. He is a living breathing special effect. He’s the virginal geek that noone ever associates with, but has a car and daddy’s credit card... so he’s an essential member of the Road Trip squad. His love scene made the movie for me. It was... incredibly funny.

On top of these 4 guys, we have various babes/foils/and roadside characters along the way. The all-black frat house was a bit too much like the all black club in ANIMAL HOUSE, though nowhere near as funny... but... there’s Kyle’s love scene which saves it.

The film is juvenile, and if movies like PORKY’S and H.O.T.S. is considered BENEATH you... stay away. But if you’ve been a fan of the college/high school dweebs conquer storylines... then you’ll most likely dig the film.

I’ve paid to see the film twice now. I had to take Tom Joad to it, after he told me a story about his roommate taping a porn of himself(the roommate) and his girlfriend on their last night of being together. Believe it or not... the events in this film are not so strange afterall.

Like I said... it’s a guilty pleasure, not the sun and moon.