Harry eats up THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING!!!

Growing up in Austin, Texas… Leatherface is the reigning bastard of movie slashers. Our bbq culture has had Leatherface as the patron saint of finger-licking good meat. Anyone here that has driven out into the country for a taste of Taylor or Elgin or Lockhart’s seared flesh… Has thought about being broke down in the middle of nowhere and served up on a plate with some beans and potato salad.

That’s the way we think of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s our “rural myth.” That somewhere… outside the city limits, there was a spot back in the 70’s where a family of cannibals ate and served the transient population for a couple of years. For those that took an idyllic summer afternoon drive, it became a nightmare. The events of those days were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. That’s the fun of it.

The remake that New Line released three years ago wasn’t a great film, but it was a handsome Hollywood version of the original classic. It was better than most of the sequels in the franchise, and I have enjoyed it on home video. It doesn’t hurt that I get to see my head in Leatherface’s domain, but I liked much about the film. The weird characters, specifically R Lee Ermey.

Well – if you liked Marcus Nispel’s TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE – prepare to love Jonathan Liebesman’s TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING.

Liebesman was the director of DARKNESS FALLS – a film that felt as though it had too many cooks in the kitchen, but had moments here and there that looked damn good. A film about an evil tooth fairy is a tad ridiculous right from the get go, but there was some legitimate atmosphere there… it was just filled with bland characters and Wal-Mart custom scares.

When I went to see TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING – it was with the hope that perhaps Liebesman would turn in a passable Leatherface flick.

Well – he does a damn sight better than that. He made one hell of a grisly bloody flick. One that dares to add to the legend of Leatherface, but does so with a steady and guarded touch.

You will see the birth of Leatherface. It is a thing of legend, like John Henry’s birth. Like an evil blue collar John Henry. He’s shaped into a folk legend, and it is an origin that evil uncles would tell their nephews about where Leatherface came from. I love his baby “blanket” – just classic.

More so, you’ll see the origin of R Lee Ermey’s Sheriff Hoyt. Not just that – but where the family got its “particular” rapacious tastes for Hill Country Anthropophagy. It’s awesome. There’s a horrific twist on GRAPES OF WRATH here in this Hewitt family. A real, “us against the world” vibe. In fact, Sheriff Hoyt reminds me a tad of Scarlett O’Hara…. For he and his will never go hungry again.

This is a very dark and fun satire. That “splatterpunk” originator – David Schow has story credit, shouldn’t be surprising. After all, he’s responsible for “The saw is family” take on the third film of the original series, and with Sheldon Turner’s screenplay work here… I have to say, I’m very curious to read what he’s done on MAGNETO. He’s done a good job at making a sadistic twisted family that kinda makes sense. It’s not all screaming lunacy. Sheriff Hoyt has a dream and a vision for his family. He’s a force to be reckoned with just inside the insular family, not to mention how he is with hippies and bikers. Obviously – the Hewitt family is the main focus here – as this is “their” story.

That said… The “teenagers passing through” have more going on than any of the other “teenagers passing through” before. The film takes place during the existence of the Vietnam war. Matthew Bomer’s Eric is a one tour Vietnam vet, who is going back, and is going back with his little brother, Dean – played by Taylor Handley – who is just about to tell his brother that he and his girlfriend, Diora Baird are going to make a run to Mexico – because he doesn’t believe in the war – or being drafted into service. Now – this plotline could have been it’s own movie – and before it got too developed, well… shit happened.

This was an argument, a battle of wills, that simply wasn’t meant to be. What I love about that is… it felt like an interrupted life. Like they weren’t expecting on being a meal for Hill Country rednecks. Bomer’s Eric perhaps thought he’d die soon, but most likely at the hands of “Charlie” halfway round the world, but certainly not in the teeming metropolis of Fuller, Texas. What these two brothers are expecting is a confrontation upon the issue of the Vietnam War… not being filleted alive.

The two ladies… Diora Baird and Jordana Brewster. They’re beautiful, full of life – and concerned about the men in their lives. They’re not flippant bubbleheads – they’re worried about whether the men they love will be around much longer, if the upcoming fight is going to forever drive a chasm between them – breaking up the bond these two brothers share… And then… shit happened.

This film is brutal. The horror that happens here is brutal in the same way that it is in the roughest of gore films, the only difference is that you know you’re in a franchise, the iconography of Leatherface is hard to escape – and as a horror fan, no matter how much you may like these teenagers – you want to see them torn apart by Leatherface. It’s something that’s hard to escape. We want Leatherface to grab the tools of his trade and use them on innocent men and women. Why? Well, obviously because we’re all sick fucks. We’re horror fans. And if you’re not a horror fan, there’s just no explaining it to you.

Seeing a pair of lovers separated by a butcher’s table. As one is chainsaw’d and chopped up alive – as their blood rains down about the powerless lover beneath… well, it’s the stuff of nightmares, yet for a horror fan – there’s a sadistic voyeuristic glee. The “kills” in the film are outstanding. Leatherface is a force of nature – and in this film he’s never “unmasked” for us. So don’t worry about some embarrassingly shitty “Leatherface face”.

The preserve the integrity of our dear Leatherface, with only one moment that made me go, “BULLSHIT” – but the pay off to that moment is so good, that while I still say the one thing is bullshit, it was definitely worth the bullshit for the follow through.

However, the real thing to talk about here is R Lee Ermey and Jordana Brewster.

First – let’s talk R Lee. His Sheriff Hoyt is a joy to watch. He carries everything we know about R Lee into the character – and here… there’s just something unmistakably blissful about seeing R Lee getting his hands on a Draft Dodger. Ok – think about it. We know how tough he is on “not even fucking human beings” that are trying to become Marines – can you imagine how tough he’d be on a Draft Dodger? Well – there’s a push up scene. A scene where he gives Dean a chance to walk away free… if he can just do 10 push ups. 10 push ups. Impossible for a fat-tard like me, but to a guy in Dean’s shape… simple. Right? Heh. The scene is brutal as hell. It’s cruel. Humiliating. Awesome. Sure to be a fave of R Lee fans.

Then there’s Jordana Brewster. When I first met Jordana on the set of THE FACULTY – everybody on that set was intimidated by how beautiful she was in person. She’s just one of the most beautiful women in the world. The years have been so kind to her, as she’s matured, she’s just become more stunning. Here… covered in blood, there’s a level of pure shock on her face, not the constant sense of cunning, some of that’s there… But she isn’t immune to the horrors around her. They touch her. They affect her. When she comes out of the basement, it’s a look, not unlike that of the images of the survivors of Hiroshima… every pore of her body is repulsed, the look in her eyes… trauma. And as she reaches the front open door of the Hewitt house… there’s a frozen moment. It’s THE moment of the film. The one where you’d probably make a different decision, but then… you know about the Hewitt Family. You know their story and you know that this… this is just the beginning, and for this story – that’s a terrible place to be if you were young, beautiful with a whole life ahead of you.

But then horror isn’t a kind place, and neither is this movie. This is a brutal film. It is also extremely entertaining and exactly how it should be.