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Published on Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 6:40am |
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Moriarty Reviews PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2: DEAD MAN'S CHEST!!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
A few weeks ago, I had a chance to visit the editing room and take a look at about forty-five minutes worth of footage from one of this summer’s most anticipated films, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2: DEAD MAN’S CHEST. I wrote about that experience here, and at the time, I was very optimistic about the film.
That’s a little dangerous, though. I’ve been fooled before. Remember my visit to the editing room for TOMB RAIDER? I sure do. And I also remember my reaction to the finished film. See a bit of a disparity there? It’s possible to take 20 or 30 minutes of a film out of context and show them to someone, and you might be able to make that film look like the greatest movie ever. But then when you see things in context, suddenly you get a better picture of what you’re seeing, and suddenly, that 20 or 30 minutes doesn’t look so good. It’s embarrassing, and it’s one of the trickiest parts of agreeing to take an early peek at a part of a film. You can find yourself hung out to dry easily.
Thankfully, that’s not the case here. PIRATES 2 is one of the best summer entertainments I’ve seen in a while, and it manages to improve on the first film in every way. It’s smart, it’s funny, it plays out on an epic scale while still putting character first, and it builds to a conclusion that will have audiences twisting in agony as they have to wait for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3: AT WORLD’S END next summer. Basically, it’s everything fans of the first film hope it will be, but it’s also good enough to win over people who were unconvinced by that first movie.
I’m going to try to tread lightly about spoilers for this one, because I would have hated to have had some of the film’s surprises ruined for me.
Basically, this follows a bit of the EMPIRE STRIKES BACK formula, where our main characters are all sent in different directions to do different things that eventually bring them all back together, along with a hearty dose of illicit romance, backstabbing, and supernatural tomfoolery. If you’re using the EMPIRE model, then I guess Orlando Bloom is the closest thing to Luke Skywalker. He’s got the slightest of the roles this time, but he makes the most of the screen time he does have. Thanks to the dark magic of Davy Jones, Will Turner is reunited with his father, Bootstrap Bill Turner, who was only referred to in dialogue in the first film.
Stellan Skarsgaard plays Boostrap Bill with a sort of grim resignation, a man cursed who doesn’t want his son to make his same mistakes. Bootstrap was thrown overboard to drown by his crewmates, but he was suffering from the same curse as them, so he couldn’t die. He was bound, held in place, alive but alone at the bottom of the sea. And he couldn’t take it. He begged Davy Jones to take him, to make him part of the crew of the Flying Dutchman, and that’s exactly what happened.
That’s what happened to everyone aboard the Dutchman, and they’re all kept alive by the mercy of Davy Jones. The longer they live as part of his crew, the more they become one with the sea, so everyone of Davy’s crew is crazy and mutated and unique. One of the unsung heroes of this film appears to be Crash McCreery, a designer and production artist whose work has always blown me away. He’s got a wicked imagination, and if you keep your eyes open and look at all the pirates in all the Davy Jones scenes, you’re going to see some crazy stuff. Even if you hate the rest of the movie (and I can’t imagine you would), the Davy Jones sequences are masterfully staged sequences of imagination, great horror movie mood pieces. There’s a wager that takes place between Will, Davy Jones, and Bootstrap Bill that is all about character, and in that moment, I really wasn’t thinking about “Wow, that’s really great ILM special effects make-up work, with remarkable texture mapping and a pretty ballsy lighting set-up, and I’m impressed by the way the performance capture paid off, particularly in the way his eyes and his mouth work.” All of that is true, but what I was thinking was about the characters... about the stakes for Will... the chance for Bootstrap to do something good. It’s involving, and it transcends just being good special effects.
Bill Nighy plays Davy Jones, and as soon as you see the first sequence in which he appears, you’ll see how fully-realized and iconic a movie monster he is. I think he’ll terrify kids, but in the way they like to be terrified. They’ll scream at points, and they’ll want more of it. Nighy seems to have embraced the potential of performance capture fully, and he’s really helped create a showcase for what’s possible if an actor is in the hands of the right artists. It’s a perfect marriage of performance and effects, and it’s impossible to say where one ends and the other begins. It doesn’t matter if he’s in a violent rainstorm or harsh daylight... Davy Jones looks real to me. Absolutely real, and Nighy hits every note right in the same way that Depp does.
I’m not a big Kiera Knightley fan, but she’s got a good role here. Elizabeth, after all, was the first character we saw in the first film, and in many ways, she’s the lead of the entire trilogy. She was infatuated with pirates, with the romantic notion of them. In her heart, she sort of wanted to be a pirate. Her realization in the first film that real pirates are scary and dishonorable and to be feared was sort of the point of the film. In this movie, Elizabeth has to confront something ugly about herself, the realization that she might be a pirate at heart... that she might not be a good person when all is said and done. Ironic, since she spends most of the movie trying to convince Jack Sparrow that he is more than just a pirate... that he is, in fact, a good man underneath.
Oh, excuse me. That’s Captain Jack Sparrow. Let’s answer the big question: is Johnny Depp as much fun this time as he was in the original? Is it still fresh? The answer is an unreserved yes. Again, the EMPIRE model applies. Remember how cool Han Solo was in STAR WARS the first time you saw it? And then remember how much cooler he seemed when EMPIRE came out? This is that big a jump, and you can tell right away when they manage to come up with an introduction that is just as fun as the way Captain Jack was introduced in the first film. Depp’s marked in this film, cursed and on the run, doing anything he can to save his own skin. It’s a great dilemma to give him, and Depp really rises to the occasion.
I’d run, too, if someone was using The Kraken to track me. Davy Jones can command the beast using a summoning device onboard the Dutchman, and he does so on three separate and spectacular occasions. Again, though... as great as these sea monster attacks are, they each do something very different for the story and to the characters. That last Kraken attack ends up being the most emotion sequence in either this film or the first one. Everyone finally shows their hand, and for a moment, everyone gets a look at everyone else’s true face. It’s pretty great, and it changes the rules for part three next summer.
You’ve got to give it up for the supporting cast. Jack Davenport tears it up as former Commodore James Norrington, the guy who was destroyed emotionally when Elizabeth chose Will Turner over him, and when he was sent after Captain Jack Sparrow and failed to find him, his career was destroyed as well. He’s a wreck when he shows up in this film, and then he goes all Lando on everyone. It’s a nice role, and he makes the most of it. Lee Arenberg and MacKenzie Crook make a nice comedy team through most of this, the sort of R2D2/C3PO combo. Kevin McNally is Chewbacca to Captain Jack’s Han Solo, a big bear of a guy who always has his back and who helps keep the ship on the water. Jonathan Pryce is good, but barely in the film. Tom Hollander makes for a slimy villain as Lord Cutler Beckett, playing it just right, never overselling it. Naomie Harris is pretty great and strange as Tia Dalma, the fortune-teller who they go to visit early on. Everyone plays it just right, and the script gives them something to do, a rarity in blockbusters of this size.
I just plain like Gore Verbinski as a filmmaker, and I think every time out, he seems to be getting more confident, more daring. This reminds me of the crazy pre-PG-13 days of the MPAA, when stuff like POLTERGEIST or RAIDERS was getting a PG. He maintains a pretty rough and tumble dark adventure tone for the entire film, from the opening scenes at a nightmarish prison for pirates all the way to the final scene in the home of Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris). He’s managed to work in some more of the imagery from the classic “Pirates” ride in a few clever nods, and he keeps the film rolling forward in a way that feels a little like a Disney ride felt when you were a kid and you went on them. There’s definitely an episodic nature to much of this script, and in a few places, transitions are played down to the point of haiku. Still not quite sure how Johnny Depp ends up with the natives and how he knows their language, but that’s fine. The entire sequence works so well and is so funny and thrilling that you won’t care about one or two little gloss-overs. The second half of the film works better than the first half, and it feels like the difference is as simple as set-up and pay-off. PIRATES 2 expends a fair bit of shoe leather getting where it’s going, but once it gets up a head of steam, there’s no stopping it.
The film ends with two pretty big shocks to the system, and you should avoid reading anything about them or how they play out. Suffice it to say, it’s all about how well those two events pay off in next summer’s final chapter of the trilogy. The gauntlet’s been thrown down now, and it’s a pretty big cliffhanger on a couple of fronts. I loved the ending, and if you’ll stay all the way through the credits, you’ll get a surprise just like you did in the first film. It’s a great one, too.
Hans Zimmer’s score is pretty damn rousing, and Dariusz Wolski’s cinematography is candy in all the right ways. In many ways, this feels to me like a sort of summation of everything that Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott have written so far. As writers on ALADDIN, SMALL SOLDIERS, both of the ZORRO films, TREASURE PLANET, and THE ROAD TO EL DORADO, they’ve had plenty of experience warming up for these films. The first PIRATES was co-written with Stuart Beattie and Jay Wolpert, both writers who worked on the movie before Ted and Terry came aboard. This time, they were the only writers on the film, and the same thing’s true of the final one next year. This movie really does do everything they’ve done before, but with a grace that only comes from experience. They’ve given Verbinksi a hell of a blueprint, and he seems to have responded to what they wrote, almost like he’s answering a dare.
So, yeah... I think I sort of loved this movie. And considering how I was of mixed opinion on the first one, that’s a pretty nice feeling. I’m ready for next year already, and I’m willing to be you will be, too, as soon as you get a look on July 7th.
Right now, I’m off to work on this week’s DVD column, some more DVD reviews, and my reaction to a little indie movie I saw called SUPERMAN RETURNS. Until then...

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Reader Talkback
Hell yes!! by simongarth2001 | Jun 25th, 2006 06:56:34 AM | Can't wait! by Amy Chasing | Jun 25th, 2006 07:07:53 AM | And yet again, I trust
Moriarty more than any other
wri by pfizzle | Jun 25th, 2006 07:21:00 AM | I can't friggin wait for
this movie by 025577680 | Jun 25th, 2006 07:30:55 AM | Thank ya very much Moriarty by seppukudkurosawa | Jun 25th, 2006 07:31:53 AM | Ruh roh Raggy! by TheJake | Jun 25th, 2006 07:35:09 AM | so Moriarity wrote this on
Eisner's lower back fat? by ChileanSeaBass | Jun 25th, 2006 07:37:49 AM | More than likely I'll get
flamed for this but... by b3mike | Jun 25th, 2006 07:40:36 AM | Prosthetics AND digital
makeup? by half vader | Jun 25th, 2006 07:40:54 AM | The tagline should've been
by chrth | Jun 25th, 2006 08:56:31 AM | Nighy said it was mostly
motion capture by Terry_1978 | Jun 25th, 2006 09:03:07 AM | Will I am your father by hokey pokey elmo | Jun 25th, 2006 09:03:55 AM | Also agree about first one by chrth | Jun 25th, 2006 09:05:09 AM | As long as it doesn't
follow the Scooby Doo 2
formula.. by Retrace | Jun 25th, 2006 09:19:48 AM | goddamn 2006 is a great year
for iconic movie roles by mikey mike | Jun 25th, 2006 09:32:43 AM | Pirates of the Correllian 3:
At Star's End by Karl Hungus | Jun 25th, 2006 09:43:28 AM | Oh YES. Bring it on! by performingmonkey | Jun 25th, 2006 09:48:21 AM | No thanks by Banditmania | Jun 25th, 2006 09:58:47 AM | Why change a formula that
works? by Luggers2000 | Jun 25th, 2006 10:05:50 AM | Great review by ManosTHOF | Jun 25th, 2006 10:14:04 AM | Stellan Skarsgaard by MartinBlank | Jun 25th, 2006 10:21:39 AM | So, its better or worse than
Superman Returns? by Wonderboys | Jun 25th, 2006 11:34:22 AM | Hooray! by blackwood | Jun 25th, 2006 11:34:50 AM | blackwood, speaking of the
pirates vs. ninjas... by grillskill | Jun 25th, 2006 11:56:21 AM | Johnny Depp is dreamy.... by Doom II | Jun 25th, 2006 12:06:45 PM | PIRATES WILL BE AWESOME by isildur29 | Jun 25th, 2006 12:11:18 PM | u sat in editing w/
Bruckheimer, of course you by AWDH | Jun 25th, 2006 12:21:45 PM | Moriarty's Superman review
must be a negative one. by Thumper2k1 | Jun 25th, 2006 12:25:58 PM | Can we get through one
talkback.... by DrifterSage | Jun 25th, 2006 12:32:24 PM | heres a notion by zooch | Jun 25th, 2006 12:32:27 PM | JOKER CASTING NEWS!!! by wolack22 | Jun 25th, 2006 12:34:22 PM | Nawww, Mori just wants to be
the first review by LaudnerGomez | Jun 25th, 2006 12:35:38 PM | Running time = 150
minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Dr_Zoidberg | Jun 25th, 2006 12:35:52 PM | what i liked about the first
movie.... by jig98 | Jun 25th, 2006 12:36:50 PM | I LOVE CLIFF-HANGERS!! by JohnGalt06 | Jun 25th, 2006 12:49:36 PM | A 1 year
cliffhanger...I'll pass... by Rupee88 | Jun 25th, 2006 01:17:10 PM | Why the ESB cliffhanger
didn't work... by ZsAsZz | Jun 25th, 2006 01:38:48 PM | But do we see...his
*locker*??? ;) by Doctor_Sin | Jun 25th, 2006 01:39:10 PM | SUPERMAN by THE KNIGHT | Jun 25th, 2006 01:43:52 PM | "Mori sucks off Bruckheimer" by blackwood | Jun 25th, 2006 01:46:28 PM | ChileanSeaBass, Eisner's
been gone for nearly a Year by Atomica | Jun 25th, 2006 01:49:18 PM | I want a guybrush threepwood by emeraldboy | Jun 25th, 2006 02:07:21 PM | I agree with the earlier
posts... by DoctorWho? | Jun 25th, 2006 02:12:27 PM | I saw it last night at the
premier! by CerebralAssassin | Jun 25th, 2006 02:12:52 PM | Oh and um.... by DoctorWho? | Jun 25th, 2006 02:13:10 PM | Does this site ever post
negative reviews? by Elmore Rigby | Jun 25th, 2006 02:17:31 PM | You're seriously asking
who's Guybrush?? by cinemaniac06 | Jun 25th, 2006 02:30:24 PM | Actually, Elmore Rigby by JumpinJehosaphat | Jun 25th, 2006 02:36:03 PM | When the hell are they going
to announce whether Keef by half vader | Jun 25th, 2006 03:03:54 PM | Half Vader by _Kayser_ | Jun 25th, 2006 03:24:11 PM | SkARRRsgaARRRrd? by Shermdawg | Jun 25th, 2006 04:05:37 PM | Kayser by half vader | Jun 25th, 2006 04:08:49 PM | POTC=the new star wars? by JudgeNXcutioner | Jun 25th, 2006 04:19:34 PM | Like Empire Strikes Back? by screenweekender | Jun 25th, 2006 04:54:09 PM | "I'm not a big Kiera
Knightley fan" by Sicuv Uyall | Jun 25th, 2006 05:02:03 PM | Keith Richards already
confirmed for POTC 3! by ranting_dude | Jun 25th, 2006 05:14:39 PM | There will be pigmy people in
the 3rd one for Ewoks by wolack22 | Jun 25th, 2006 05:22:01 PM | errr kills davey jones... by wolack22 | Jun 25th, 2006 05:25:16 PM | bullshit, another movie that
doesnt... by s0nicdeathmonkey | Jun 25th, 2006 05:30:00 PM | Mori, is there.....? by Bobo_Vision | Jun 25th, 2006 05:36:40 PM | The first pirates by Lovecraftfan | Jun 25th, 2006 05:59:14 PM | He's says he will try and
tread lightly on spoilers... by Warcraft | Jun 25th, 2006 05:59:37 PM | No Negative Reviews by seanny_d | Jun 25th, 2006 06:03:09 PM | Why everything comes back to
Star Wars: by Doc_Strange | Jun 25th, 2006 07:08:10 PM | Tha Box Office Trea$ure by KabutoKoji | Jun 25th, 2006 07:25:50 PM | Thanks go out to... by Ribbons | Jun 25th, 2006 07:26:43 PM | "my reaction to a little indie
movie I saw called..." by Womb2dooM | Jun 25th, 2006 08:26:05 PM | They shouldn't get
side-tracked trying to... by workshed | Jun 25th, 2006 08:26:13 PM | This sounds like good, clean,
unpretentious by superninja | Jun 25th, 2006 09:03:35 PM | Look behind you, a
three-headed monkey! by Sam Raimi's Car | Jun 25th, 2006 09:47:24 PM | Didnt anybody else by Lovecraftfan | Jun 25th, 2006 10:11:05 PM | Sure, it had a good
screenplay. by superninja | Jun 25th, 2006 10:30:21 PM | superninja by Ribbons | Jun 25th, 2006 10:34:26 PM | Pirates and skeleton pirates
are cool. by superninja | Jun 25th, 2006 10:38:39 PM | Seriously, whenever I watch
the trailer, by superninja | Jun 25th, 2006 10:39:56 PM | Pirate Jokes by Lamerz | Jun 25th, 2006 11:54:43 PM | You are without a doubt the
worst pirate I've heard
of! by Zeke25:17 | Jun 25th, 2006 11:55:27 PM | Sooo... by Shermdawg | Jun 26th, 2006 12:15:47 AM | doc strange by happygolucky | Jun 26th, 2006 12:21:01 AM | Captain Jack = Han Solo by AlwaysThere | Jun 26th, 2006 12:49:33 AM | Fuck all you Moriarty
naysayers by Killah_Mate | Jun 26th, 2006 01:14:50 AM | At the risk of ruffling
feathers... by Ribbons | Jun 26th, 2006 01:16:32 AM | Ribbons by Killah_Mate | Jun 26th, 2006 01:22:58 AM | This will own summer and kick
supermans ass by RangerLee | Jun 26th, 2006 02:27:56 AM | Moriarty superman review by RangerLee | Jun 26th, 2006 02:29:47 AM | RangerLee by Ribbons | Jun 26th, 2006 03:04:59 AM | HANS ZIMMER'S SCORES ALL
SOUND THE SAME!!! by Red Raider | Jun 26th, 2006 06:10:18 AM | Ted and Terry are good
writers... by JohnGalt06 | Jun 26th, 2006 07:45:14 AM | "So, yeah... I think I sort of
loved this movie." by ikkyu | Jun 26th, 2006 08:14:00 AM | hell ya by lofe101 | Jun 26th, 2006 08:18:14 AM | How accesible if I've
never seen the first one? by Engineer_at_peac | Jun 26th, 2006 08:40:17 AM | I did not really go crazy over
Pirates 1.... by Mr. Profit | Jun 26th, 2006 08:41:49 AM | According to highly unreliable
Wikipedia... by JohnGalt06 | Jun 26th, 2006 08:54:11 AM | Why "Dead Man's Chest?" by Engineer_at_peac | Jun 26th, 2006 09:05:00 AM | Quite excited by this. by brycemonkey | Jun 26th, 2006 09:16:27 AM | I haven't been this
excited since Shrek2! by amazingegg | Jun 26th, 2006 09:33:28 AM | The first one is a great movie by vwvoyager | Jun 26th, 2006 09:59:43 AM | MartinBlank, that cracked me
up... by Roguewriter | Jun 26th, 2006 11:22:56 AM | SUMMON THE KRAKEN!!! by JohnGalt06 | Jun 26th, 2006 11:41:01 AM | Great to hear, I hope it's
really this good. by minderbinder | Jun 26th, 2006 12:10:18 PM | Re: Star wars is not an
original movie by I Dunno | Jun 26th, 2006 01:35:41 PM | Keith Richards by DarthFloyd | Jun 26th, 2006 02:06:22 PM | what's a paradygmie? by samsquanch | Jun 26th, 2006 02:20:39 PM | The characters and concept
were in the first draft by GuyLombardo | Jun 26th, 2006 02:21:10 PM | Good: Rave for pirates 2 by minderbinder | Jun 26th, 2006 02:21:20 PM | Kiera... by Lou Stools | Jun 26th, 2006 02:46:34 PM | Moriarty's review of
Superman may be not a glowing
one by Wonderboys | Jun 26th, 2006 05:35:32 PM | *sigh* by TheRealMoriarty | Jun 26th, 2006 06:09:16 PM | Ignore the seething fanboy
ire, Mori... by Roguewriter | Jun 26th, 2006 06:11:59 PM | Wonderboys by MattmanReturns | Jun 26th, 2006 06:17:01 PM | What's "agitas"? by Wonderboys | Jun 26th, 2006 06:21:15 PM | Re: 'What is a
paradygmie?' by Bobo_Vision | Jun 26th, 2006 06:23:15 PM | Eccleston still not cast as
The Joker... by lynxpro | Jun 26th, 2006 06:25:48 PM | is Keith Richards even up to
being in POTC3? by lynxpro | Jun 26th, 2006 06:29:03 PM | Pirates by Ky-El | Jun 26th, 2006 06:36:06 PM | My favourite underwater
scene... by Bobo_Vision | Jun 26th, 2006 06:36:08 PM | i think you're in the
wrong place buddy by Bobo_Vision | Jun 26th, 2006 06:59:37 PM | "paradigms", happy spelling
Nazis? by I Dunno | Jun 26th, 2006 09:48:20 PM | 'you people'? by Bobo_Vision | Jun 26th, 2006 10:05:46 PM | POTC3 script leak by IMofPOTC | Jun 27th, 2006 12:57:47 AM | Moriarty touched me in my
private area by Bob of the Shire | Jun 27th, 2006 12:58:06 AM | Moriarity Missed A Better
Comparison by Lloyd Braun | Jun 27th, 2006 03:40:04 AM | Uh, so what happened at the
end of the credits? by Monkey Butler | Jun 27th, 2006 05:57:26 AM | Pirates was a funny movie, and
that by CuervoJones | Jun 27th, 2006 08:50:02 AM | Yes, what did happen at the
end of the first credits? by Samuel Steamer | Jun 27th, 2006 09:31:06 AM | Why THIS Mori review might be
trustworthy by Ringwearer9 | Jun 27th, 2006 10:20:04 AM | On second thought ... by Ringwearer9 | Jun 27th, 2006 10:22:37 AM | Mori's Superman Review by Gordon Bombay | Jun 27th, 2006 10:39:46 AM | Maybe Mori disliked SUPERMAN
RETURNS even more... by JohnGalt06 | Jun 27th, 2006 11:16:25 AM | I am probably the only one
here by Ingeld | Jun 27th, 2006 11:20:34 AM | David Poland's review is
up, another rave. by minderbinder | Jun 27th, 2006 12:04:20 PM | Well Moriarty, it just looks
bad. by Thumper2k1 | Jun 27th, 2006 12:10:22 PM | dialogue by MaulRat | Jun 27th, 2006 03:08:03 PM | If you own the first PIRATES
dvd... by JohnGalt06 | Jun 27th, 2006 03:13:18 PM | Another very positive review
from Emmanuel Levy. by minderbinder | Jun 27th, 2006 05:55:25 PM | Just saw it... by TELF | Jun 27th, 2006 06:16:56 PM | I dream't Johnny Depp went
down on my sister. Tis true by missmichigan | Jun 27th, 2006 08:09:57 PM | May Baby Jesus bless us, every
one. by 'Cholera's Ghost | Jun 27th, 2006 08:27:00 PM | Keira Knightley is a true
star..... by Jimmy Jazz | Jun 28th, 2006 01:55:57 AM | RE: Star Wars Dorks by www.valiens.com | Jun 28th, 2006 11:29:16 AM | Help me out here... by abcdefz7 | Jun 30th, 2006 12:46:00 PM | oops by abcdefz7 | Jun 30th, 2006 12:46:41 PM | Coda after the movie by SpideyMan | Jul 13th, 2006 01:50:52 PM | after the end of the credits
from the third movie by sparrow747 | Jul 13th, 2006 04:00:13 PM | FIRST by THE KNIGHT | Mar 7th, 2007 12:53:59 AM |
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