Published at: June 16, 2006, 7:07 p.m. CST by staff
Hey, everyone.
Capone in Chicago here, trying my best not to cough up a
hairball or vomit on the nice carpet as I give you a very quick look at the
second in what I'm sure will be at least an eight-part Garfield series.
The
best thing I can say about the sequel to the miserably lame 2004 Garfield
film is that it¹s not a miserable or lame thanks to a surprisingly capable
upper-tier of British actors providing both acting and voice work to this
wholly unfunny but still more tolerable work. By setting the film in England
and giving Garfield a number of other animal characters to interact with,
this film at least makes something resembling an effort, even if that effort
is to be more like the Babe movies.
Without going into all the unnecessary details, Garfield (still inexplicably
voiced by Bill Murray), his owner Jon (Breckin Meyer), and Jon's girlfriend
(Jennifer Love Hewitt) all find themselves across the pond (what six-month
quarantine laws?), where there just happens to exist an overly pampered cat
named Prince (voiced by Tim Curry) who looks exactly like Garfield.
When
Prince's owner dies, she leaves her vast estate to the cat, much to the
chagrin of her human relatives, namely Dargis (Billy Connolly, the only
thinthat even came close to making me laugh). Through a
series of contrivances, Garfield and Prince switch places, and for a brief
time, Garfield gets treated like the pampered pet he's always wanted to be.
What shocked me most about this laugh-repellant exercise is the talent it
attracted. In addition to Connolly, Lucy Davis (from the UK version of "The
Office") and Roger Rees appear as themselves, while the likes of Bob
Hoskins, Richard E. Grant, Jane Horrocks, Rhys Ifans, Vinnie Jones, Jane
Leeves, and even Sharon Osbourne voice various animals on the estate. The
only whiff of entertainment I got off Garfield 2 was from trying to identify
the various British great who stooped to a new low. My heart leapt when I
recognized Vinnie Jones as a vicious attack dog sent to kill Garfield; I
prayed he would bark out "I'm Juggernaut, bitch" just before locking his
jaws on Garfield's fat neck. Alas.
Director Tim Hill (Muppets from Space) has done a noble effort elevating
thisSgulpSfranchise from the sewers built in the first film, but he still
hasn't gotten this series out from under the manhole.
Garfield: A Tale of
Two Kitties is still free of any laughs beyond the occasional fart joke, so
I'm sure million of children will embrace it. Although with such superior
films like Over the Hedge and Cars in theatres now and still doing quite
well, I can't imagine any kids clamoring to see this sub-par turd.