“You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!” -- Venture nemesis The Monarch

“Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!” -- a Monarch henchman

I am – Hercules!!

2004’s The Venture Bros. is easily the funniest thing ever produced for The Cartoon Network. It rivals even “South Park” and early “Simpsons” in its genius.

Christopher McCulloch (a.k.a Jackson Publick), whose writing credits include stints on both the animated and live-action versions of “The Tick,” took the characters of “Jonny Quest” and “realed” them up a bit. Where Jonny and Hadji were quick-witted and well-spoken, adventuring preteens Hank and Dean Venture are tirelessly puerile . Where Dr. Benton Quest was heroic and good-natured, Dr. Thaddeus Venture is impatient, short-tempered and prone to fits of despair. Where Race Bannon demonstrated a penchant for overpowering evil spies with a well-placed uppercut, Venture bodyguard Brock Sampson (voice of Patrick Warburton) demonstrates a handy knack for torture, bloodshed and dismemberment.

Alarmingly entertaining supporting players include necromancer-neighbor Dr. Byron Orpheus and his hot goth daughter Triana, the Humanoid Electric Lab Partner Robot (HELPR), stunning yet fiendishly man-voiced Dr. Girlfriend, college rival and tyrant dictator Baron Werner Underbheit, aging hydrocephalitic “boy genius” Master Billy Quizboy, effeminate albino genius Mr. White, Team Venture vet Action Man and even Race Bannon himself. Other memorable characters include superhero/scientist Richard Impossible and the Impossible Four, bionic former astronaut Steve Summers, Steve’s lover Sasquatch, theme park maven Roy Brisby, screaming astronaut-ghost Major Tom, Conneryesque adventurer Col. Horace Gentleman, astronauts Bud Manstrong and Anna Baldavitch, and the conjoined Tiny Attorney.

The first-season DVD set, currently available for $20.99, includes all 13 first-season episodes on two discs, the special "A Very Venture Christmas," the 2003 pilot “The Terrible Secret of Turtle Bay,” deleted scenes, commentaries by cast and creators on the pilot and four episodes, and a look “behind the scenes of the live-action movie.” (Note please that there is no live-action movie.)

To anticipate the question, the second season of “The Venture Bros.” is slated to premiere on the Cartoon Network June 25.

Speaking of “The Tick,” the animated series still isn’t quite available in season sets, but Aug. 29 will bring a Belated 10th Anniversary Edition (not pictured above) that will contain 12 of the 13 first-season episodes. No word on which episode is missing (apparently due to a rights hang-up), but my guess would be the pilot.

Herc’s Popular Pricing Pantry

Today is the day Fox Home Entertainment issues the new “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” slimsets, which contain all the episodes and all the extras in skinnier packaging for a whole lot less. Now you can inexpensively shower friends, family, libraries, places of worship and romantic conquests with the cool, funny and heartbreaking adventures of Willow, Xander, Tara, Giles, Cordelia, Oz, Angel, Spike, Dru, Jenny, Faith, Glory, Anya and the Nerds of Doom. (Herc says it’s the best television series ever forged by humans.) Here’s what the old cardboard sets cost:
$31.99 The Complete First Season
$47.99 The Complete Second Season
$47.99 The Complete Third Season
$47.99 The Complete Fourth Season
$47.99 The Complete Fifth Season
$47.99 The Complete Sixth Season
$38.99 The Complete Seventh Season

Here’s what the keen new slimsets cost:
$27.99 The Complete First Season
$27.99 The Complete Second Season
$27.99 The Complete Third Season
$27.99 The Complete Fourth Season
$27.99 The Complete Fifth Season
$27.99 The Complete Sixth Season
$27.99 The Complete Seventh Season

Fox also continues to lop a whopping 50-percent off a load of its animated titles, including season sets of “The Simpsons” and “King of the Hill.”

And a nice selection of Fox’s non-animated season-sets are still 50-percent off here.

TV-on-DVD Calendar

Last Week
Animated All-Stars Vol. 1
Boston Legal 1.x
Bugaloos: The Complete Series
The Closer 1.x

Deadwood 2.x
The Dog Whisperer 1.x
Fairly Oddparents: Fairy Idol
Fairly Oddparents: Jimmy/Timmy Power
The 4400 2.x
Jim Henson's the Storyteller: The Definitive Collection
Little Britain 2.x
M*A*S*H 10.x
Redwall 2.x
Samurai Jack 3.x
Samurai Jack 1/2/3.x
SNL: The Best of Cheri Oteri
SNL: The Best of Commercial Parodies
Will & Grace: The Series Finale
Wings 1.x/2.x
X-Men Evolution 3.x

This Week

ALF 3.x
ALF Animated Adventures
ALFTales: ALF and the Beanstalk

American Musclecar 2.x

Avatar Vol. 3

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 2.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 3.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 4.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 6.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 7.x ($27.99 Slimcase Edition)

Dark Shadows Vol. 24

The Doris Day Show 3.x

The Dukes of Hazzard 6.x

Fat Albert Vol. 3

Joey 1.x

Kids in the Hall 4.x

Night Stalker: The Complete Series

Numb3rs 1.x

Queer As Folk 5.x

Rollergirls 1.x

The Tomorrow People: Set 3

The Venture Bros. 1.x
Will & Grace: The Series Finale

June 6
Air America: The Complete Series
Charmed 5.x
Cheyenne 1.x
The Chris Rock Show 1.x/2.x
Combat: Best of New Replacements
Combat: Best of the Squad
Def Poetry 4.x
Doctor Who: Genesis of the Daleks
Doctor Who: Revelation of the Daleks
Entourage 2.x
F-Troop 1.x
Godzilla: The Original Animated Series Vol. 1
Godzilla: The Original Animated Series Vol. 2
He-Man 2.x Vol. 1
Home Improvement 4.x
NCIS 1.x
Power Rangers Mystic Force Vol. 1
Star Trek: Q
Teddy Ruxpin Vol. 3
The Time Tunnel Vol. 2
What's New, Scooby Doo Vol. 9
The Wild Wild West 1.x
The X-Files 7.x ($34.99 Silmcase Edtion)
The X-Files 8.x ($34.99 Silmcase Edtion)
The X-Files 9.x ($34.99 Silmcase Edtion)

June 13
America's Funniest Home Videos: Nincompoops and Boneheads

Beavis & Butt-Head Vol. 2
Cheers 8.x
Coach 1.x
The Dead Zone 4.x
Dharma & Greg 1.x
Frasier 8.x
Godzilla: The Original Animated Series Vol. 1
Godzilla: The Original Animated Series Vol. 2
Good Neighbors 4.x
Home Improvement 4.x
Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp: The Complete Series
MacGyver 6.x
Medium 1.x
Mulberry: The Complete Series
Pink Panther Vol. 4
The Rockford Files 2.x
Stargate SG-1 1.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 2.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 3.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 4.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 6.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 7.x (slimcase edition)
Stargate SG-1 8.x (slimcase edition)
This is America, Charlie Brown: Complete Miniseries
Waiting For God 1.x
Walker Texas Ranger 1.x
Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

June 20

The Adventures of Superboy 1.x

The Adventures of Superman 3.x/4.x

Justice League 2.x
The King of Queens 5.x

Krypto the Superdog Vol. 1

Lois & Clark 3.x
Married With Children 5.x
The Mary Tyler Moore Show 4.x Follow aicn