I am – Hercules!!

The 28th season premiere of “Doctor Who” hit the BBC today and the limey Britishers are here to regale us with rundowns!

“Doctor Dan” says:

Season 2, Episode 1: "New Earth"

Director:
James Hawes (Sea Of Souls, Holby City)

Writer:
Russell T. Davies

Cast:
David Tennant: The Doctor
Billie Piper: Rose Tyler
Noel Clarke: Mickey
Zoe Wannamaker: Cassandra
Michael Fitzgerald: Duke
Lucy Robinson: Clovis
Dona Croll: The Matron
Adjoa Andoh: The Sister
Anna Hope: The Novice
Sean Gallagher: Chip

Synopsis:
The Doctor takes Rose to visit mankind's new home, in the far future. But once there they discover a sinister hospital run by cat-like creatures and meet their old enemy Lady Cassandra...

DOCTOR DAN'S DIAGNOSIS:

Doctor Who returned to our screens with a new face in the TARDIS, self-confessed Whovian David Tennant. Freed from the expectations and massive publicity of Who's return last year, the second series has a lot to build upon. Series 1 was undoubtedly a huge success story for the BBC, but more discerning viewers were quick to note the show's failings. Can Who 2 fill in the cracks?

New Earth is written by executive producer Russell T. Davies, whose scripts last year became notorious for their, well, relative mundanity when compared to the rest of the series. Unfortunately, Davies story is again typical of the new Doctor Who simply going through the motions, with little thought for logic and anything approaching originality.

Essentially, the story concerns The Doctor discovering that a futuristic hospital in New New York (yes, a gag stolen from Futurama) has erradicated all disease -- but of course there's a sinister downside to the apparent utopia. Elsewhere, Rose is again unrealistically split from The Doctor and has her body inhabited by Cassanda (the "last human" supposedly destroyed last series).

Russell T. Davies indulges himself in his own mythology, with two returning aliens to the series appearing in New Earth. Unfortunately, this really just reminds viewers that there's nothing new to see here. The structure of the story is meandering and the comedy elements somewhat forced (although Rose/Cassandra gets a few good lines). It's also a little tiring that so many episodes limit themselves to stage-bound "satellites", "space stations" and now a "hospital". All such shows have a restricted and stagey feel that never goes away, no matter how many CGI greenscreen you stick in every window.

David Tennant has already proven himself a worthy successor to Christopher Ecclestone in The Christman Invasion last year, but it's a little disappointing that New Earth doesn't give him much opportunity to expand on the role. The only new impression we get from this episode is that he's more of an action-man (would Ecclestone's Doc have slid down an elevator cable with Rose on his back?)

Elsewhere, the only really memorable aspect to New Earth was some fantastic make-up effect for the cat-like inhabitants of New New York, and some pretty good CGI buildings. Zoe Wannamaker is always good value, no matter how ludicrous her character's return is at heart a ludicrous turn of events.

Overall, by the time New Earth devolves into a zombie movie, the plot turns get more silly and unlikely (the over-used Cassandra body-swaps, the Doc's solution being a silly disinfectant idea, etc). Typically of a Russell T. Davies script, it just screams old-hat throughout and didn't offer anything of any real interest or meat for audiences over 10 years of age. Just another half-decent children's adventure, basically. If this is what you expect from Doctor Who, that's fine -- but for those of us who believe children's imaginations deserve to be stretched more, New Earth is just a silly run-of-the-mill adventure...

The Good:
1. Some good CGI buildings
2. Really excellent cat-people make-up
3. Some humorous moments when The Doctor and Rose are "possessed".
4. The hospital interiors are quite good, considering.

The Bad:
1. The plot is just full of holes (how do the zombies know how to speak/walk?)
2. Some crappy CGI spaceships and elevator shaft greenscreen
3. Did I spot some reuse of sets from last year's finale of "Rose"?
4. Chip. God, I hate those generic Doctor Who henchmen!

The Geeky:
1. The Face Of Bo - a cult character if ever I saw one - and just what will his message to The Doctor be at the time of his death? My guess is that the Time Lords aren't all dead...
2. Those cute little "robo-spiders" from "The End Of The World" make a return to the show!

NEXT WEEK: The Doctor and Rose travel back in time to meet Queen Victoria and protect her from a frightening werewolf!

RATING:2.5 / 5.0

“Celtican” says:

What's it Called
'New Earth' by Russell T Davies

What's it about?
The newly regenerated tenth Doctor takes Rose to a planet called New Earth where a sisterhood of feline nurses harbour a horrific secret, they also meet an old friend and an old enemy. On visiting an alien hospital, patients are being healed at a remarkable rate from some pretty terminal illnesses. Rose gets separated from the Doctor and comes face to face with Cassandra O'Brien, the 'last human'. The Doctor is summoned (via his psychic paper) to meet the Face of Boe. When they reunite they unlock a terrible secret that Sisterhood have been understandably keeping quiet.

What's Good?
The episode is a follow up last years 'The End of the World' set some years later. New Earth has a New York or should I say New New York (so good they named it twice) with it's own NNYPD. There are some funny moments including the elevator decontamination scene, the 'Doctor' dancing a samba and the aftermath of the kiss....David Tennant owns the role and is extremely watchable, it will be interesting to see what he does with the role. Billie Piper shows that she is more than just a pretty face as she plays two roles in this episode with aplomb.

What's Bad?
It's not the greatest episode but it has it's moments. There's a bit of obvious set redressing (from the episode 'Rose') if you keep your eyes open. Considering this is billions of years in the future, a lot hasnt changed. They still have modern day lifts/elevators mechanisms, telephones and their kiosks, fire alarm buttons but hey I'm nitpicking. There are a few sci-fi cliches (borrows) in the episode (think TOS's Turnabout Intruder meets the Matrix in Dawn of the Dead..you get the idea). All in all thought it's a good opener for what's to come.

How does it end? *(Spoilers)*
The Doctor lives up to his name and saves the day, the Face of Boe leaves an enigmatic message and an old enemy passes on....or do they?

“Sprigga” says:

Evening...This is Sprigga from Liverpool, UK commenting on the brand new Dr Who series which is upon us at last.

I sat down hoping the show's creators had picked up from the best of last year and built on what they had. Unfortunately they haven't. This episode borrows heavily from one of last seasons stinkers, the one set on the Space Station overlooking a dying Earth, the one with the variety of silly gay aliens, the one I hated for it's OTT campness.

What's it Called :
NEW EARTH

What's the gist :
The doctor receives a psychic call from a hospital in New new new new new new new new new new new new new new new York city, year 5 billion and 23. The hospital is run by a race of human-sized cats (no pussy jokes I swear) who seem able to perform miracle cures. But while roaming the grounds the Doctor and Rose become seperated and the latter runs into a dermitological enemy of the past.

Is there a sinister secret :
Does a timelord shit in a tardis?

So, what's Good :
The Back to the Future-style rendition of Earth with a distant jetstream of flying cars is good for a TV show. The makeup on the feline surgeons that run the hospital is first rate, but they do very little. Rose gets to sex things up a little, so if she is your thing then you have something to look forward to. The Dr is good too, a little more intense that his predecessor.

What's Bad :
The look, the feel. Dr Who is in danger of becoming a Sci Fi show dressed up in a pantomime dress. The Hospital story is not strong enough to sustain a whole episode on its own so a side story exists. But as the episode progresses the two stories don't compliment each other; in truth its the opposite. As one part becomes sinister or intense the other part becomes camp and silly: Dr acting like a woman, Rose acting like Dick Van Dyke, all this while being chased by a hord of purposely plagued humans.

How does it end Spoiler boy :
The Doctor was summoned to New Earth because one of the oldest species living (basically a massive head in a jar) has some special wisdom he wishes to pass on. But he will only tell it to "A mysterious traveller, one without a home". Who could that be? Unfortunately 3 is the magic number with this guy. Having already met the Doc twice Meathead says he'll only spill the beans the next time they meet. He pisses off before he says anything else.

Rating :
* * out of * * * * *

Next week's looks better with A CG werewolf stalking Queen Elizabeth.

“Amir” says:

New Earth.

But is it really a new Doctor Who? The show starts off well, despite ripping-off Futurama (New New York, or more appropriately New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York), with the Doctor and Rose in the year 5 billion and something or another. The first thing my mum said was "That's just like Dubai!" While I didn't think so at first, when we see the hospital that the Doctor and Rose go to visit, it is clearly modelled after the Burj-Al-Arab (the world's only/first (not quite sure) seven-star hotel, shaped like a sail). The special effects for New New York are pretty good for the BBC, and the make-up on the Cat Nurses in the Hospital is pretty good too. There's a lot of flirting between the Doctor and Rose to start with, though they soon part ways in the hospital. Rose stumbles across the reborn Cassandra, that skin-only lady from the 27.2, whose brain survived and now has new skin gathered from her... uh... Well, as Rose puts it out "Now you're talking out of your ar-!" Well, that skin doesn't last long as thanks to a handy-dandy new machine Cassandra (with help from her creepy helper) transfers her mind into Rose's body. Cue an amusing scene with Billie Piper admiring her own body, only to cry out "Oh My God! I'm A Chav [Brit slang, equivalent of "white-trash"]!" Meanwhile, the Doctor is taken aback by how all these Cat Matrons manage to cure supposedly incurable diseases. Hmmmmmmmm...

Well, after testing her new body by snogging the Doctor (ummm, I guess that's French Kissing across the Atlantic, and I don't see why fans are uppity about this, since technically it's not really Rose, though Tennant's post-kiss squeak was hilarious) Cassandra/Rose and the Doctor find that the Cat Matrons have created new, full-grown adult human bodies, referred to as the Flesh, to infect with every disease known to man (they all look like they're suffering from old-school syphilis or a really bad case of herpes). This seemed to me to be Russell T Davies presenting his views on stem cell research and playing God, with the Doctor verbally assaulting the Head Matron for initiating the project. A bit preachy for my liking, though the Flesh soon become Doctor Who zombies, as Cassandra/Rose blows up some shit and frees them all. "Help Us... Uhhhhhhhhh... Help Us..." There's a lot of running about, culminating with the Doctor disinfecting the lot of them by mixing all the cures kept in drip bags around the hospital (reminded me of the Rocky creation scene from the Rocky Horror Picture Show).

Now this is where I find fault. I think R T Davies is a good writer, just he's decided to cop out with another "Cure everybody/God, isn't the human race wonderful?!" ending. Oh well. Not a bad episode, but I just felt that the ending was far too happy. Cassandra even manages to inhabit the body of her helper, who's dying away, and go back in time and tell herself how beautiful she is. Personally, I would've thought that would have affected the old Cassandra somehow and would have f**ked up that whole space-time continuum thing, but hey, it's sci-fi, not science fact.

The best part about this episode? Apart from the mentioned one-liners and the special effects, it had to be the preview for the next episode. I'm not a fan of episodes where the Doctor travels to the past, but with baldy Brit Shaolin monks with staffs in Victorian England and Werewolves with better CGI than Harry Potter III (which isn't saying much normally, but for a BBC TV series is an amazing feat), and the following making-of on BBC Three, Doctor Who Confidential, offered us brief previews of Anthony Stewart Head (!) chewing scenery, Cybermen, more flying-dragon type things (though different from the apocalyptic dragons of the last series), more Doctor Who in lady-killer mode and more bald Brit shaolin monks, now flying through the air! Woo-Hoo!

“Kelvington” saw it early:

Dear Herc,

Here is mostly spoiler free review of Doctor Who's second series opener called "New Earth".

Doctor Who – Enters it’s second season (minor spoilers)

There are few shows in the history of television UK, or American that would dare to introduce it’s new leading man on Christmas day. Hell, most networks show little more than test patterns during the entire week from Christmas to New Years. But Doctor Who dared to introduce us to David Tennant on Christmas, with an episode centered around events happening Christmas no less! Not very PC is it? The audience watching was huge! This was just a taste of that which was to come.

For few among you that didn’t know, “Doctor Who” is about to enter it’s second series of the twenty-first century tonight night. If this is news to you, you’re probably not living anywhere within a ten thousand miles of the UK. Because every television news broadcast, or morning chat show has been overrun with interviews, B-Roll, and coverage of everything that is Doctor Who.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the show, but too much promotion can lead to disastrous results. Now having seen this first new episode called “New Earth” I can tell you, it does lives up to the hype. I’m not big on spoilers but I will give you a little taste.

The episode takes place in the far, far future, a few years after the destruction of Earth, you probably remember that from last year. On a planet called “New Earth”, where the doctor runs into the ultimate flatlander “Cassandra” and another big face you’ll recognize turns up as well, and we run into some very matronly feline nurses.

Now the idea of cats running a hospital is very scary too me, how could you NOT think they are evil? Cats aren’t known for the kind works, when was the last time you heard about of a cat pulling someone one out of burning building? So take me to the planet where DOGS run the hospital then I’ll know it’s safe!

While the Doctor gets all caught up in trying to figure what’s going on, Cassandra has some plans of her own for Rose, which I regret to say involves some snogging between Rose and The Doctor. I have to say I’m very old school here, I hate when the Doctor is linked in any way romantically with one of his human companions. Romana sure, she’s a fellow timelord, and it’s perfectly acceptable. But I digress.

Much has been said about the upgraded effects this year to that I respond “WHO CARES!” The show isn’t about the effects, if you want great effects watch re-runs of Firefly or BSG. “Doctor Who” has never been about the effects, it’s been about good story telling on a level that children will enjoy. Yes, they are a tad more flashy this year, but the Doctor still travels around in what amounts to a wooden box. Not very hi-tech is it?

In the world of “Doctor Who” the script’s the thing, that’s what really matters, and Rusell T. Davies has delivered a wonderfully entertaining story in “New Earth”. They have really mastered the concept of show me something which should horrify me, then give me a bit of a chuckle to ease my mind. Tomorrow night’s show is no exception. While it’s not Dalek scary, there are still some moments that might give little kids a bit of a fright. Plus there is more than enough laughs to make every “Doctor Who” fan smile.

From the script, to the direction, to some of the best acting from Billie Piper we’ve seen since “Father’s Day” tonight's “New Earth” takes us to a new series, a new Doctor, and new set of reasons to enjoy this classic series.

Just my 2¢,
Kelvington

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