I am – Hercules!!

Those wondering how America – with The WB and UPN merging into The CW next season – will survive with only five broadcast networks? They need wonder no longer.

Fox claims to be launching a NEW sixth network – dubbed My Network TV (MNT? MNTV?) – this summer. (It will suck up a lot of the UPN and WB affiliates not sucked into The CW.)

Though it will program 12 hours weekly (two hours more than UPN but an hour less than The WB), it will fill the majority of those hours with only two shows, “Desire” and “Secrets,” five-days-a-week hourlongs fashioned after the Mexican telenovelas.

I don’t habla the Espanol, but – Gott in Himmel! - have sampled an unseemly number of telenovelas. Because some of these Mexican actresses make Americans like Eva Langoria look like wildebeests. And these Latin enterprises look to me a lot like … “Days of Our Lives”! If someone can explain how the foreign telenovelas differ from the American soaps, I am one gringo keen to be educated!

Look! A press release!

FOX TO LAUNCH MY NETWORK TV

New Station-Friendly Primetime Option Set for September

Primetime Dramas “Desire” and “Secrets” to Inaugurate My Network TV Debut

NEW YORK – February 22, 2006 - FOX will launch My Network TV, a new primetime program network scheduled to debut this fall. Fox Television Stations, Inc., and Twentieth Television will operate the new venture. The announcement was made today at a press conference in New York by Peter Chernin, President and Chief Operating Officer, News Corporation; Roger Ailes, Chairman of Fox Television Stations; and Jack Abernethy, CEO of Fox Television Stations.

Upon launching on Tuesday, September 5th, 2006, My Network TV will feature quality primetime programming from 8:00-10:00pm (EST/PST) Monday through Saturday, totaling 12 hours of original content per week. Providing broadcasters a viable and station-friendly option for primetime, involving no reverse compensation, My Network TV will position stations with operational flexibility through an appealing affiliation term and attractive inventory split, further building asset value.

Fox Television Stations’ WWOR/New York, KCOP/Los Angeles, WPWR/Chicago, KDFI/Dallas, WDCA/Washington, D.C., KTXH/Houston, WFTC/Minneapolis, KUTP/Phoenix, WRBW/ Orlando and WUTB/Baltimore will serve as anchor affiliates of My Network TV, representing 24% of the United States. Supported with powerful branding and marketing initiatives that tie-in locally, the service will maintain and strengthen affiliates’ community brand recognition with a complete look and feel of a national network that empowers localism.

Regarding the announcement, Mr. Chernin stated, “No other media company comes close to Fox when it comes to launching new networks and gauging audience appetites. Over the past 20 years, we’ve proved it time and again with FBC, FX, Fox News Channel and National Geographic Channel among many others. And with My Network TV, we think we’ve come up with a unique format that will resonate with today’s consumer and a model that can be profitable from day one.”

Mr. Ailes added, “Backed by the strongest media company in the world, My Network TV is a viable alternative brought to you by proven winners who know quality programming. Independent stations are in need of a solid option for primetime and we believe no other company is providing this service to the market.”

Commented Mr. Abernethy, “We’re thrilled to be launching My Network TV this fall. We consider this to be a station-friendly alternative that will deliver more local inventory to its affiliates, uphold each station’s localism and feature quality programming supported by strong branding and marketing. We are looking forward to signing additional affiliates in the coming weeks.”

Twentieth Television’s new hour-long scripted dramas “Desire” and “Secrets” will inaugurate My Network TV. Structured in a 65-episode story arc stripped Monday through Friday for 13 weeks, “Desire” and “Secrets” are based on the worldwide success of the telenovela format. “Desire” chronicles the destruction of a family and the bonds of brotherhood take center stage when two brothers on the run from the mafia find themselves in a heated battle of passion, betrayal, deceit and murder over the woman they both love. “Secrets” goes deep behind-the-scenes to focus on the glamorous, yet sometimes brutally ruthless fashion industry, in which greed, lust and blind ambition surround a violent corporate takeover of the business’ hottest company. Principal photography on the dramas will commence early March.

Twentieth Television is aggressively developing additional programs and proven formats spanning reality, drama, comedy, game, news, movies and talk for My Network TV as the network develops, while also exploring opportunities with its sister companies. The company is opening its doors to all other major Hollywood studios to negotiate future programming concepts. Programs currently in development include:

• “Catwalk” (Twentieth Television) -- The ultimate search for the next “It” supermodel begins by crossing the country to discover 30 of the hottest, hippest and freshest faces who will compete for the once in a lifetime opportunity to be catapulted into stardom.

• “Celebrity Love Island” [Granada (“Nanny 911”)] -- Six gorgeous celebrity and six non-celebrity singletons are thrown together in a fantasy island setting, where a star-studded search for love takes place.

• “On Scene” (Fox News) -- This crime investigative series will cover all angles, examine all of the evidence and trace every single clue of the most compelling crimes committed today.

• “America’s Brainiest” (working title) [Celador (“Who Wants to Be A Millionaire”)] -- This quiz show, based on the hit British program, will find the country’s smartest individuals and reveal them in an exciting format.

• In addition, Twentieth Television is in advanced negotiations with FremantleMedia North America (“American Idol”) on an international format.

The Fox Television Stations group, one of the nation’s largest owned-and-operated network broadcast groups, comprises 35 stations in 26 markets, covering nearly 45% of U.S. television homes. This includes five duopolies in the top 10 markets, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas and Washington D.C., as well as duopolies in Houston, Minneapolis, Phoenix and Orlando.

A leader in the U.S. program production and distribution arena, Twentieth Television is a unit of Fox Television Stations, Inc., which is headed by chairman Roger Ailes while CEO Jack Abernethy oversees day-to-day operations. Twentieth Television provides a wide array of first-run and off-network programming, as well as feature film packages, to the syndication and cable marketplaces. First-run programs distributed by Twentieth Television include “Geraldo at Large,” the news strip hosted by Geraldo Rivera, and the popular court shows “Divorce Court” and “Judge Alex,” the number one new first-run program of the 2005-06 season. In addition to “Desire” and “Secrets,” the company is set to launch the new court show “Cristina’s Court,” hosted by Cristina Perez, in Fall 2006. Twentieth Television also oversees the domestic sales of one of the most extensive libraries of off-net programming in the entertainment industry. Last fall, the company launched the groundbreaking drama “24,” starring Kiefer Sutherland, and The Peabody Award-winning sitcom “The Bernie Mac Show” in off-net syndication.

Fox Entertainment Group, a division of News Corporation, is principally engaged in the development, production and worldwide distribution of feature films and television programs, television broadcasting and cable network programming. The unit’s studios, production facilities and film and television library provide high-quality creative content, and broadcasting and cable networks provide extensive distribution platforms for the Company's programs.

The extra-cheap “Buffy” slimsets (all the episodes and extras at a fraction of the price) ship May 30!!

“Buffy” pricing if you must have your season-sets now:
$29.99 The Complete First Season
$44.99 The Complete Second Season
$44.99 The Complete Third Season
$44.99 The Complete Fourth Season
$44.99 The Complete Fifth Season
$44.99 The Complete Sixth Season
$39.96 The Complete Seventh Season

“Buffy” pricing if you can order now but wait three and a half months for delivery:
$27.99 The Complete First Season
$27.99 The Complete Second Season
$27.99 The Complete Third Season
$27.99 The Complete Fourth Season
$27.99 The Complete Fifth Season
$27.99 The Complete Sixth Season
$27.99 The Complete Seventh Season