Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Well... it’s a little bit of both.
I didn’t much like the original FINAL DESTINATION. I thought it had some good ideas in it, but didn’t get out of its own way, and I really, really dislike Devon Sawa as a lead in anything. When it made money, I was surprised, but it wasn’t the sort of film that I actively disliked or anything. I would tell people, “There are about five really cool moments, and about an hour and a half of film around them,” if they asked what I thought.
Then when the second film came out, I had just started dating my now-wife, and there’s no better cheap date than a free press screening. I took her to see FINAL DESTINATION 2 with zero expectations, so when it turned out to be a smart and funny horror ride, I was pleasantly surprised. David Ellis, who directed that film, is a genuinely talented guy, and a great co-ordinator of mayhem. The highway traffic accident is a tremendous sequence, and it woke me up in the theater, made me pay attention. Each of the deaths in that film were really expertly built, and the film seemed to know exactly how seriously we were going to be able to take the premise and the characters and the situation in general. It played the deaths like elaborate Rube Goldberg inventions, elaborate set-ups that, when finally sprung, made you laugh at the inventiveness.
I can’t honestly say I gave a shit about a single character in either of those first two FINAL DESTINATION films. Not even a little bit. Not even in that superficial way you sometimes invest in a nothing stock character if it’s played well enough. Nope. Because character isn’t what the FINAL DESTINATION films seemed to have on their mind, in even the slightest of ways. These films were built around their set pieces. I have no doubt that’s what sold the first film to the studio, and it’s certainly what was remembered. Same thing with the second film. It’s all about the set pieces. That guy who almost dies in his kitchen only to finally succumb to a ladder from a fire escape? That’s entertainment.
And this brings us now to FINAL DESTINATION 3, opening today. I can say with a fair degree of certainty that if you enjoyed the first two films, you’ll get your money’s worth out of this one, whereas if you take your horror films seriously and you want a movie with characters you care about and that you relate to... well, these might not be your cup of tea. In fact, I’m fairly certain that I didn’t like anyone in FINAL DESTINATION 3, and I didn’t care if they lived or not. In fact, I found myself rooting for everyone in the movie to die, and, well... if you go see the film, you’ll see if I got my wish or not.
This is probably my second favorite of the films now, falling right in between the first and second ones. There’s nothing in this movie that tops the best moments of FD2, but it’s got a manic, frantic energy that I think I like more than the first one. I wish the opening rollercoaster scene was better directed, because it’s a great idea, and it sort of works, but it trades coherence for confusion, which is a shame. The individual deaths are much better, and there’s one in a fast-food drive-thru that is pretty great, and another in a pair of tanning beds that comes together with fiendish precision.
If you’re shocked by how short this review is, it’s because this isn’t a film that would withstand any sort of in-depth analysis. It’s just not that kind of movie. This is going to play best with crowds on opening weekend, in packed theaters, with people who probably have a few drinks in ‘em, and who are just there hoping for some crazy violent moments. People will jump, girls will scream, and there’ll be a lot of laughter. And you won’t remember any firm details of it a month from now. And it really won’t matter at all, because this does what it was built to do, and it does it with just enough efficiency that I can recommend it to people who know what they’re in for. I fully understand why Quint didn’t like it very much, because he takes his horror seriously, and I do most of the time. It’s just that the first two films set the ground rules, and this one seems to live up to the admittedly-low standards this series has previously set.
So many of you have written to me regarding the question I asked at the start of the DVD column the other day that I’m going to hold the new release column I’m working on for this coming Monday, when the brand-new version of my DVD shelf is launched. This weekend, though, I’ve got a review of the Focus Films release BRICK, and I’m also going to be premiering the first of my AICN’s 10th Anniversary articles, which I hope you guys are going to enjoy. Until then...
"Moriarty" out.
