Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with my take on the first midnight movie of Fantastic Fest's history, the now legendary (thanks to the most entertaining season of Project Greenlight ever) FEAST directed by the man, the myth, the legend Mr. John Gulager. Spoilers below, so beware.
Even knowing the history of Project Greenlight movies being ass, I found myself... I wouldn't say excited or anticipating the movie, but before the film I had a good feeling. Just a hint, something in my gut that told me it was going to be fun. Maybe really stupid fun, but fun. Of course that was helped by the vibe at Fantastic Fest and positive word from some test screenings.
What can I say? It seems I'm in the minority here, but I really, really didn't like the movie. Sure, I can look at Project Greenlight and understand how hurried the production was, how much it strained against its budget and try to use that knowledge to excuse how poorly shot it is, or how poorly executed 80% of the gore is (think Ridley Scott shaky cam after it got into Tony Scott's stash). I know that stupid bitch of a casting agent worked really hard to fuck up the casting (not that Gulager was doing himself any favors by trying to cast his family in all the leads), but I can't forgive some of the downright awful casting for the film.
I know Harry loved it and even my friends sitting around me who tend to be... say... a little more critical on movies seemed to like the movie more than I did. I don't know, maybe it was because I went in with a little bit of hope when my friends went in thinking it was going to be complete shit or maybe I just have a stick up my own ass, but this movie really rubbed me the wrong way.
And I like me some shitty horror movies. I'm a big fan of '80s cheese and can find little pieces to love in some movies that'd make most people scratch their heads. In my DVD collection (these are bought, not free, mind you) I have such gems as CHOPPING MALL (aka KILLBOTS), SLEEPAWAY CAMP, NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, DEAD HEAT and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT... Granted it's now cool to like SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT because of Tarantino raving about it on Jimmy Kimmel, but I've had the DVD for a long time. And I will say that NIGHT OF THE DEMONS and SLEEPAWAY CAMP both have been spun about a half-dozen times each.
I like me some really strange movies and there are moments in FEAST I like. However, to me the film is a collection of a few really good moments in an otherwise uninteresting movie.
For those not in the know, FEAST is a horror comedy about a group of people in a bar deep in the middle of nowhere who are besieged by a family of creatures wearing roadkill for clothing. These people are named "Heroine," "Hero," "Tuffy," "Beer Guy," "Boss Man," etc. All are supposed to represent typical horror/action characters, but in most cases the image is turned on its head.
The writers seem like nice guys, but I have to say a lot of the reason I didn't like the movie can be put on their shoulders. The script is so self-aware that it'd make Kevin Williamson blush and tries so, so hard to be smart. It works in a couple of instances (there's a kid killed which was truly unexpected and worked well), should have worked if it was executed better by Gulager and the actor hired (there's a big Sam Jackson moment where we meet a character called Hero who gives a rousing speech and sets himself up as the leader, only to get his head ripped off... unfortunately, the actor they got to do this, Eric Dane, gives a direct to cable worthy reading), but most of the time their writing just comes off as self-aware, trying to be much cooler than it is.
As much grief as I give the writers, a lot of what I didn't like about the movie falls to Gulager. I realize he didn't get enough time to pull off some of the big gore moments, but there's not even one that is built up and well staged. It's always cut so quick there should be an epilepsy warning before the movie or the camera was shaking so much that you couldn't really get a fix on what was happening. I know there's a fanbase for this kind of work and there are some people that can do it well (Thinking Spielberg and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN or, more recently, the way Lexi Alexander used it in GREEN STREET), but I'm not impressed by it.
Most of the acting is just "okay," some of it is terrible (both HERO and HEROINE are A Sci-Fi Channel Original bad), some of it is pretty good. I like Mewes in the movie (all 3 minutes he's in it), Balthazar Getty isn't bad, Judah Friedlander has some of the best "Eewwwwww" moments in the movie and Henry Rollins chews the scenery as an inspirational speaker trapped with the group. I know there's a lot of love for Krista Allen, but I didn't think she was all that great in the movie. Matter of fact, I look at her and all I can think is, "She's cute, but she must be miffed that Evangeline Lilly is becoming popular." They both share a similar look, but Lilly is much younger and has done far better work on LOST than I've seen from Allen.
Strangely enough, Gulager's girl who he forced into the movie, Diane Goldner, was one of the better characters (as "Harley Mama"), however I thought his dad, Clu Gulager as "Bartender," wasn't very good. It seemed he was playing at playing the character, not really becoming the character, you know?
There is enough good in this movie to keep it from being a painful watch (the "Monster's cock" sequence, or Jason Mewes' title card), but I can't give it a recommendation. It's a "trying too hard" script done under pressure with little visual flair by Gulager.
I have to say, though, that my favorite part about seeing the movie was watching the Q&A with Gulager after the movie. Seeing him up there you can totally see why they picked him to be the focus of a documentary series, even if you can tell he wouldn't have made the best film. He had this kinda nervous energy and zero filter, which was hilarious.
Someone in the audience asked about how actors never seem to play too far from their own personality and referenced Krista Allen, saying she came off "slutty" in the movie, of course insinuating that she's a slut in real life. The audience "ooohhh"'d and then laughed. Then we got to hear Gulager say most actors do play characters that aren't a far stretch from their real life persona (to a gasp from the audience, no less). He talked more and I thought he was going to circle around and say something like, "But in Krista's case, she's really a sweetheart and just fit the attitude of the character." But what I got was, "So, yeah. She's probably a slut." Zero filter.
Gotta love Gulager. I might not like his film, but boy is he fun to watch speak.
-Quint
