Egads! Moriarty has given birth! What is it' Is it human' To find out these fascinating details and more - CLICK!

Hey folks, Harry here! Many of you have probably been wondering why I've been up all night posting talk backs on my FANTASTIC FOUR review. Most likely - there's several conspiracy theories about this going right now. However, none of them are true. Unless...

You happened to know that I was staying up all night to find out the details on the birth of that evil genius, James G Moriarty's munchkin. A child destined to be reared in evil arcane geek ways. Sure to be loved by his parents, loathed by talkbackers everytime his dad mentions him... and let's face it, we all know Moriarty - he'll be mentioning this kid like he was a comma.

So - what on this earth has Mr & Mrs Moriarty spawned?

That's right - a bouncing evil baby boy. At 4:45am (p.s.t), 195 years after the birth of P.T. Barnum and on the Italian Stallion's 59th Birthday - weighing in at 8lbs 2 ounces came:

Yes... Moriarty really did name his kid after Toshiro Mifune and George Lucas. Yes, he is in fact that geeky. Also of note. Exactly 3 hours after the birth of this kid, John Carpenter starts the first day of shooting on CIGARETTE BURNS written by Drew McWeeny (somehow related to this event) and Scott Swan! So...

I would say that this is a pretty damn great day for Moriarty. Why don't y'all show some class - treat the boy and his boy with the appropriate well wishes and congratulations. He has just proven beyond the shadow of any doubt that he isn't a VIRGIN!!!!!

FYI - I, Harry Knowles, was the first non-mother/father/doctor/nurse to know of this! Muhahahahahaaaa... You other Moriarty friends... He loves me mostest. Well, other than that evil child and wonderful wife of his!