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Published on Friday, July 1, 2005 - 1:48am |
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Statham, Sobieski, Perlman, Gimli & Burt Reynolds have all gone insane!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with an announcement... more of a warning, really, but it appears that the good Dr. Boll has somehow tricked a fairly decent cast into working with him on his next atrocity, DUNGEON SIEGE. The trailer for BLOODRAYNE was, predictably, laughable and the poster just confirms that Uwe's dream project is to remake Paul WS Anderson's RESIDENT EVIL.
Now he's gathered Jason Statham, Leelee Sobieski, Ron Perlman, John Rhys-Davies, Matthew Lillard, Kristanna Loken and Burt Reynolds for his next attempt... Now, I love Perlman, but he'll do damn near anything, so that's no surprise, even though I still think Perlman's too cool be in a Boll KG film. Lillard and Boll were destined to work together... Statham I like and wish he wasn't headlining this film, Rhys-Davies will eat a phonebook if you pay him... the only one that I'm truly sad to see do this film is Burt Reynolds... Remember how promising it was when he gave that great performance in BOOGIE NIGHTS, that feeling that we were going to see a new era of Reynolds... Now he's doing a Uwe Boll movie... Sigh... I guess this means STRIPTEASE won't be the worst film he's done.
So, HOUSE OF THE DEAD ($12 million budget, even though it's listed as $7 million... Boll said this himself when I saw him introduce HOUSE OF THE DEAD at AFM back before I knew better than to watch one of his films and expect anything of any quality) loses money, ALONE IN THE DARK (budget $20 million before marketing, which grossed just over $6 million WORLDWIDE) is one of the worst reviewed movies in the history of film and loses money, BLOODRAYNE ($17 million budget) can't find a US distributor... yet he's still pulling together casts that would be promising in any other director's hands and huge budgets.
I'm just wondering when the rug is going to be pulled out from under Boll. He has a talent for finding money and pulling together decent people... if he'd just stop directing and trust some decent writers he could be a great producer... maybe. How the fuck he got $60 million to make this movie is beyond me, but hopefully it'll put the final nail in his coffin when it makes two dollars and seventy-six cents at the box office...
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Reader Talkback
Quasi-Celebrity Boxing on
Fox!! by docfalken | Jul 1st, 2005 02:53:17 AM | Its not who you know ... by GILFHunter | Jul 1st, 2005 03:00:14 AM | FUCK IT!!!! - LET MANUTE BOL
DIRECT IT!!!!! by ChickenGeorgeVII | Jul 1st, 2005 03:13:05 AM | Really...how in the blue hell
of St.Trinians does this guy
get f by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 03:28:11 AM | Unsolved Mysteries - We need
someone of the calibre of
Robert St by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 03:37:15 AM | P.S - Do these people not have
agents? by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 03:40:07 AM | If you wish to make a comment
direct to Uwe Boll himself ... by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 03:56:22 AM | How Uwe Boll keeps getting
work and money by godoffireinhell | Jul 1st, 2005 04:02:09 AM | MY GOD!!!! THIS MAN HAS
FANS???????????????????????? by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 04:04:56 AM | I'm the greatest director
ever!!! by Dr_Boll | Jul 1st, 2005 04:07:46 AM | But seriously... by Dr_Boll | Jul 1st, 2005 04:12:54 AM | From what I understand, he
opened the site himself ... by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 04:30:19 AM | I should add ... by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 04:32:43 AM | You guys do know that House of
the Dead 2 is in post
production, by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 04:38:06 AM | "...Now, I love Perlman, but
he'll do damn near
anything..." by Eugene O | Jul 1st, 2005 04:49:46 AM | Reynolds's logic: "Hey, I
initially hated Boogie Nights,
too by SalvatoreGravano | Jul 1st, 2005 04:50:57 AM | Nah, Caine has now paid the
bills on various houses and
cars so by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 05:20:31 AM | Video game movies will never
be taken seriously until these
bast by ALUCINOR11 | Jul 1st, 2005 05:36:05 AM | I'll bet... by koosbane | Jul 1st, 2005 05:43:38 AM | Their managers are telling
them that video game
adaptations are by FrankDrebin | Jul 1st, 2005 06:11:05 AM | Jesus, I thought I was in some
bad movies.... by Ribs | Jul 1st, 2005 06:12:01 AM | Hypnotism by uwe bolls talent | Jul 1st, 2005 06:13:40 AM | PG-13 or R? by godoffireinhell | Jul 1st, 2005 06:39:49 AM | Oh god, I just visited
www.bollfans.com/us. He's
developing by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 06:52:50 AM | It's an elaborate money
Laundering scheme set up by
German B by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 06:53:40 AM | Boll fucks the system - he
should be your hero by Darth.Ratzinger | Jul 1st, 2005 07:04:57 AM | Bavarian New World Order by droog | Jul 1st, 2005 07:05:59 AM | TheReturnOfHP... by Ribs | Jul 1st, 2005 07:12:16 AM | I loved Dead End by bigcheckonthat | Jul 1st, 2005 07:17:21 AM | Michael Caine by Shan | Jul 1st, 2005 07:47:25 AM | Ribs by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 08:08:39 AM | Alucinor11 by Killah_Mate | Jul 1st, 2005 08:08:47 AM | that's fucked up guys, by PVIII | Jul 1st, 2005 08:12:46 AM | The Uwe Boll system: by Killah_Mate | Jul 1st, 2005 08:13:21 AM | I've never seen an Uwe
Boll flick... by Darth Busey | Jul 1st, 2005 08:25:18 AM | Well considering they've
just announced a game version
of th by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 08:32:12 AM | sucks by calami-shami | Jul 1st, 2005 08:49:23 AM | You lost me at Statham by Groggy | Jul 1st, 2005 08:59:12 AM | If KING KONG makes lots of
money ... by godoffireinhell | Jul 1st, 2005 09:02:50 AM | I can't believe I'm
saying this..... by sith-vol | Jul 1st, 2005 09:07:24 AM | godoffireinhell is right,
it's all about the tax
laws by moviemaniac-7 | Jul 1st, 2005 09:08:03 AM | MANUTE BOL LIVES!!!!!!! HE
LIVES!!!!! HE CAN DIRECT
THIS!!!!! by ChickenGeorgeVII | Jul 1st, 2005 09:09:32 AM | ahhh christ im calling
christophe gans a genius
brotherhood of t by ALUCINOR11 | Jul 1st, 2005 09:16:14 AM | Groggy by Killah_Mate | Jul 1st, 2005 09:20:04 AM | 'Uwe Boll will make a
DONKEY KONG flick' For
the love o by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 09:22:56 AM | I played this game... by Childe Roland | Jul 1st, 2005 09:30:47 AM | Ben Kingsley and Burt both
doing Ewww Bowl Movies? by Aves | Jul 1st, 2005 09:50:21 AM | What kind of pull does Dr.
Boll have? by Lost Skeleton | Jul 1st, 2005 09:52:26 AM | uwe boll to remake citizen
kane by Soma Imp | Jul 1st, 2005 09:54:30 AM | 'This guy has to be the Ed
Wood of our generation'
Yeah by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 1st, 2005 10:07:23 AM | Seen 'em an forgot 'em by Groggy | Jul 1st, 2005 10:16:54 AM | I'd Say Every One of His
Movies is "Boll Shit..." by hipcheck13 | Jul 1st, 2005 10:25:18 AM | In Stathams defence by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 10:25:42 AM | Oops I meant bollocks by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 10:27:26 AM | "A three-hour running time is
envisioned." by JudiciousHooker | Jul 1st, 2005 10:39:58 AM | I've been think... by Man Juice | Jul 1st, 2005 10:58:20 AM | A four minute trailer for
Bloodrayne by moviemaniac-7 | Jul 1st, 2005 11:15:36 AM | God damn you Boll by The Heathen | Jul 1st, 2005 11:28:56 AM | Layer Cake is a good movie... by Killah_Mate | Jul 1st, 2005 11:40:48 AM | What's the big deal about
the cast? by Gheorghe Zamfir | Jul 1st, 2005 12:18:38 PM | Ya know Leelee Sobieski.... by CyberBeavis1326 | Jul 1st, 2005 12:30:10 PM | I'll pay John Rhys-Davies
$200 to eat a phone book by Big Bad Clone | Jul 1st, 2005 01:46:32 PM | What is happening... No
seriously, what in the good
holy FUCK is by chickychow | Jul 1st, 2005 01:47:55 PM | Mmmmm.....Leelee Sobieski by Jimmy Jazz | Jul 1st, 2005 02:13:19 PM | Leelee Sobieski is the young
Helen Hunt by Killah_Mate | Jul 1st, 2005 02:37:29 PM | http://www.uweboll.com/ by roy_g_biv | Jul 1st, 2005 02:44:19 PM | roy_g_biv thats some clever
shit right there by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 03:07:14 PM | It'sa gonna be another
"Bol Movement" by DinoDeLaurentiis | Jul 1st, 2005 03:08:29 PM | Uwe Boll drinks a beer and
cheats on his wife.... by manga junkie | Jul 1st, 2005 03:11:27 PM | Boll is the antichrist! I can by MrFloppy | Jul 1st, 2005 03:17:18 PM | Actually, Killah.... by Jimmy Jazz | Jul 1st, 2005 03:18:15 PM | John-Locke... by Ribs | Jul 1st, 2005 03:26:39 PM | John-Locke: nope by roy_g_biv | Jul 1st, 2005 03:34:30 PM | Uwe Boll's next project
should be the "Krypto the
Super Dog" by Bachalon | Jul 1st, 2005 05:07:39 PM | I'll pay John Rhys Davies
200,000 to eat Uwe Boll by chickychow | Jul 1st, 2005 05:24:56 PM | Re uweboll.com by John-Locke | Jul 1st, 2005 06:20:56 PM | Have you guys played Dungeon
Siege? by antonphd | Jul 1st, 2005 06:49:44 PM | Leelee's career is over. by deadguy76 | Jul 2nd, 2005 02:05:42 AM | I seriously doupt that
Leelee's career will be
over after th by thunderboy | Jul 2nd, 2005 03:49:29 AM | This is a travesty! Especially
when there are as yet
undiscovere by Lezbo Milk | Jul 2nd, 2005 04:05:53 AM | Imdb works on contributions
from all of us. by Shan | Jul 2nd, 2005 06:14:50 AM | by napalm68 | Jul 2nd, 2005 06:53:32 AM | Some German films I liked ... by Shan | Jul 2nd, 2005 07:53:27 AM | Sobieski by El Borak | Jul 2nd, 2005 02:29:35 PM | As long as he sticks with
video game movies... by Hamtaro_Hentai | Jul 3rd, 2005 12:16:25 PM | "Rhys-Davies will eat a
phonebook if you pay him" by fiester | Jul 3rd, 2005 04:29:27 PM | He's carving a niche by hamo455 | Jul 3rd, 2005 04:33:03 PM | Leelee Sobieski, from
(supposedly) distant
descendant of royalty by SalvatoreGravano | Jul 3rd, 2005 05:58:16 PM | www.uweboll.com.......very
funny!! by Big_Bubbaloola | Jul 4th, 2005 08:24:38 AM | Just imagine the same cast and
director doing Moorcock's
"El by Fred | Jul 4th, 2005 12:19:24 PM | It's official...there IS
no God. by cherrycola | Jul 4th, 2005 05:44:39 PM | LOL....you people have to
check out www.uweboll.com by cherrycola | Jul 4th, 2005 05:48:46 PM | i just saw this and it is
terrrible by Jubba | Jan 7th, 2008 08:55:00 PM |
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