Hey folks, Harry here with a look at Shane Black's directorial debut with KISS KISS BANG BANG! Shane is one of those writers that made gargantuan gobs of dough in the days of enormous spec pick-ups... and wrote many great action scripts - As well as being one of the PREDATOR badasses following Arnie into that hot as hell jungle. Well, here's his first original screenplay in ages - and he got to direct the damn thing and it sounds like it is cool as hell! I'm there! After all, he fathered the character that gave birth to the meanest most dastardly spy we ever had here at AICN. He'll always have a warm spot here on AICN. Beware, there are spoilers in this review - and they are marked in advance. So read till that moment, then abort. The reviewer LOVED the film. Can't wait to see it!
Back from an extremely productive Cannes festival and I didn't see any Kiss Kiss reviews on your website - although I didn't search very hard. So, I got to go to the screening of this film. The main cast were indeed there along with the shaven beauty Portman who stole the red carpeted steps from just about every single living being. How is it possible for someone to get better looking with age without even trying? Anyway...
So, I got the tickets and put on my suit and travelled to the Lumiere Theatre and walked up those steps and sat myself down on the balcony seat. Didn't know a single thing about the flick. The Giant poster in Cannes looked shite. Didn't know who this broad was who gets third top billing and although I'm a fan of Mr. Jr, I didn't know what to expect of him doing a lead role. And Val Kilmer has always just been Val Kilmer to me. BUT, Shane Black... 'hold me back I'm fucking gasping for air' I though when I found out he had directed this! New to me, this info was! He's a fucking legend. Now, the only thing I did know was that of a picture i saw of Robert Downey Jr hanging from a coffin. THAT'S IT.
And now to the review. I'm not going to go through the whole movie - just bits... Minor Spoilers from here on in:
I have seen this film before. I have never seen this film before.
The last time I felt this way was for Reservoir Dogs. Know what I mean? And Pulp Fiction... What I mean is, the film is instantly recognisable but immediately original. Any...and I repeat ANY slightly stale moments are pumped with fresh energy.
It starts at the beginning... how unique in films these days. No middle introduction and then a flashback or shit... this starts when our boy Harry Lockhart (Robert DJR) is just a boy and is doing a magic trick for a group of kids watching on as their parents mingle at a lunch garden party. He has a wee girl in a box with her ickle head sticking out one end and her teeny feetsies out the other. He gets his assistant to fire up the electric chainsaw and cut into the little girl. He does. She screams. Fucking BLOOD spurts out! Fuck me! These cunts just killed a kid(or did they?)in the pre credit sequence! Excellent!
We then move on to the amazing Saul Bass inspired credit sequence which really sets the tones nicely.
We then meet Harry as a man. As RDJr. And from his first shot you just have an inkling... a fucking intuition that he is going to end up being the biggest fucking star by the end of this decade. He just fucking is, ok? And for the rest of the movie he doesn't let up. His flashback - running from cops after his thief partner is shot dead during a robbery and Harry does what nearly every real actor claims to have done and accidentally ends up in an audition room giving the fucking performance of his life to ensure his safety - is done with real flair. Audience cracking up so hard. We find out that he's now an actor. He's at a part and introduced to Perry Van Shrike (Val - I'll get back to this guy in a bit) or as he's known "Gay Perry". Harry sees a stunner at a party - Harmony Faith Lane (the newcomer Michelle Monaghan) being chatted up by a dick and walking off with him. He looks in a room at this party and sees her passed out on a bed with the dick about to molest her. He walks in and honestly, with the coolest swagger announces that he will beat the living shit out of this dick if he even considers touching her. CUT TO a moment later as Harry is being pounded unmercifully into the lawn by the dick who then spits on him. Class!
THIS is the way the movie is from here on out. Full of surprise and even if you can see what's going to happen a mile off, you are excited about it when it happens. Harry narrates and it is THE best narration a film has ever had. Don't even argue this with me... you won't be able. THE BEST. It's natural... feels like an ad lib most of the time. It's as if a friend is guiding us through the best fucking story ever.
Major spoilers ahead - - - - - MAJOR FUCKING 'FINGER LICKING - COCK SHOCKING' SPOILERS.
Moments like the fight between Harry and Harmony from a hallway and her room. She slams the door hard and opens it immediately after realising that she has.... only fucking cut his fucking finger fucking off! Fuck! And not only that - but after a gruesome stitch up by a doctor, the finger is ripped off again and as Harry comes home he places it in a fruit bowl only to have his fucking finger fucking chewed up by his fucking dog! Priceless! A lot of 'fucks' for a review, right? The film is littered with them. And even remarks upon it, too. And I'm from Dublin which gives me a certain privilege
End Of Spoilers...
Look, it may seem like I've given away the best bits (maybe I have) but there is just so much more to this movie that I do NOT want to tell. If you can get to see this without seeing a shred of clips/info/pics you are in for some fucking ride. But I'm sure if you know exactly what's going to happen next, you're in for some fucking ride also. I had so much fun at this motion picture, man.. October is too long to wait for this baby. And it won't be gracing my DVD for close to a year? FUCK THAT!
SO - the players.
Michelle Monaghan - What a star. She will be big. Bigger than big. Is beautiful beyond words. Has amazing timing, acts so damn well, curses like a truck driver and gets her baps out! Sorry, what more is there for me to say to get you to just fall in love? Nothing? Right. Google her and get some PC wallpaper. Just fucking do it. If you're a girl? Get some fucking surgery and become her... you won't regret it... I promise. Trust me.
Val Kilmer - Well this fucker has found his feet. After years of shitty shite he is now going to be back on top. No doubt. He plays gay amazingly in that he doesn't camp it up. Well, ok, he does a couple times but all for laughs. His comedy timing is perfect and his whole fucking thing is so believable. And my god he has some super human spunk! You'll see what I mean. Note to his agent - no more shit for Kilmer. Kilmer is an amazing actor who id now owed to do films of this calibre only from now on. But change his haircut - not his hair in Kiss Kiss but rather the cut he had at the screening which looked like his daddy put a bowl on his head and went for it. Only the bowl was lob sided. Nasty.
Robert Downey fucking Jr. - You know... who doesn't love him? Who never wanted him to make a film like this? A film which is easily his best since Chaplin? Nobody. I think everybody has been on his side.Knowing that in there... in that drug mart he called his body was something special to come out. Now maybe he was just never given materiel of this standard before. But maybe now... now that he can see that the drugs just didn't work... that now... NOW, RDJr. is going to give us something special from here on out. Just pray that the praise, the admiration, the constant work he'll get from here on out will not lead to him calling upon Uncle Charlie and his cousins. Don't do it Robert... you're a star. An inspiration, dude. You are from here on out going to be the top of many a persons list of all time favourite actors. Himself and Val are the best pairing in a long time.
Shane Black - Cannot wait to see what he has cooked up for his next gig. My god. Now, he doesn't have his own style yet. It's a mix of others... sometimes, fuckit, most times... it's better than those he takes from. You know, maybe that is his own style only those other fuckers got there before him. This is his best screenplay ever. Full stop. Maybe one too many in jokes for the Hollywood elite but everything in this - the dialogue, action, set ups... EVERYTHING... is done with flair and originality. No flashy camera work in this. Very simple. Maybe four crane shots. All done with tongue in cheek. You see, this is a piss take. Almost a 'shaun of the dead' for action (sorry Edgar - you have a lot to live up to with your action/comedy I'm dying to see) only never once do you come out and realise that the whole crew are just having a laugh.
Joel Silver - Fuck your matrix, my man. THIS is the baby you are going to hold at the top of your list for pride. You have a winner here. This will be disliked by nobody but the begrudgers. And as we all know... fuck the begrudgers, Joel. Fuck em in the ass.
Well, that's it. What a film. Go see it. Go see it again. Then buy the DVD. Then, when it's on cable after that... just throw in the DVD again. Coz... you know... better quality and stuff.
Sam Early
