Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a little look at what to expect from Ice Cube's attempt at xXx... Reading below this could be very mindlessly entertaining... I mean, ninjas and futuristic lawnmowers and Sam Jackson batting down flying robots that look like they come from BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED? I don't know about you guys, but this sounds like the most amazing thing ever! Oh and there's Ice Cube wearing his "bad" face, which is a big stretch for him as an actor, and for a change of pace there's lots of rap music. Thanks to Wierzbowski for sending in this report. Glad to see you survived Hadley's Hope, dude!
Hey Harry,
Long time fan of the site, first time... blah blah blah. Anyway, not sure if you (or anyone for that matter) will be interested, but I've seen the first five minutes of the Triple X sequel, xXx: State of the Union. It was made by Revolution Studios as a promotional thing. I never saw the first film, so I really can't judge this against that. The FX were almost complete, and the music was temp.
The film starts on a farm with seemingly peaceful shots of horses in open pastures. Cut to inside a barn where a "farmer" is doing farmer stuff (he isn't really a farmer, as the whole setting is a cover for a government operation). The horses inside the barn become agitated, and for good reason, the farmer soon realizes that all his partners are dead. All of a sudden, a ninja (ninja!) appears out of nowhere and stabs poor farmer in the back with a big knife, which sticks out through his chest.
Several ninjas, dressed in all black with masks and red goggles, throw what look like round futuristic lawnmowers on the grass. They start spinning and shoot down into the ground about 100 feet, leaving long tunnels. Cut to inside the government facility, the lawnmower-gadjets break through the ceiling with sparks flying everywhere. Then all hell breaks loose.
The ninjas start shooting everyone and they release these little flying robots that look like miniature versions of the robots in Batteries Not Included. The ninjas are winning the battle. We then see Sam Jackson who fights for a moment, bats down one of the flying robots, and then takes an elevator up to the surface to escape. He's met by another agent, some comic relief ensues, and then Jackson and the agent get into a pimped out 70's car. The headlights slide open and rockets shoot out and blow out the whole side of the barn they are in. Jackson hits the gas and the car jumps out of the barn and escapes down a road.
Now for some of the most forced and hilarious dialogue I have heard in a long time, I can't remember it word for word, but here's the gist of it:
JACKSON:
They attacked our facilities, we need a new triple X. Not a skater or snowboarder, we need someone with more attitude.
OTHER AGENT:
More attitude?
JACKSON:
Yes. This new triple X has to be badder.
OTHER AGENT:
Where are we going to find that?
Cut to a prison where Ice Cube is walking to his cell in chains, apparently showing us his 'bad' face with lots of attitude. A rap song begins to play and the opening credit sequence begins (which was the best part, it had a great design).
So, yeah, that's that. Lots of things blowing up, lots of FX (which look good), and lots of action...in the first five minutes. I wasn't to thrilled, but I'm sure the masses will lap it up. From the Director that ruined Bond with the cinematic abortion that was Die Another Day, don't count me in line whenever this turd comes out.
If you use this, call me Wierzbowski
