Live Golden Globes Update

Hey folks, Harry here... I'm over here at Annette Kellerman's Sea-Side Shack watching 2005's Golden Globes... My fave pre-show moment was when that Lucy Liu look alike was interviewing Johnny Depp about what part he's looking forward to trying to tackle and he answered with Mae West and Carol Channing... and that lady had not one iota of a clue what the hell he was talking about. HILARIOUS!!! Now they're doing the goofy fucking song that is NO FUCKING GOOD at all. Anyways - I'll be updating throughout the show, so check back for the latest! It'll be fun to have your comments below as well...

Best Supporting Actor - David Carradine - go... CLIVE OWEN wins. His acceptance is nice, but I can't help but think he's going to throw that knickknack into the front seat of his car and drive off! And he shouldn't win just for doing KING ARTHUR last year.

Tim Robbins on Best Supporting Actress, Cate Blanchett, Laura Linney, Virginia Madsen, Natalie Portman, Meryl Streep NATALIE PORTMAN won for CLOSER!!! First two awards go to CLOSER. Interesting. Now, had they left her topless scene in, I'd agree... But Cate Blanchett was the fucking bomb in AVIATOR and Laura Linney owned in KINSEY! Hmmmm, not sure how if I'm all that happy about this... not that the Hollywood Foreign Press is sane to begin with...

Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Garner his the stage for Best Supporting Actress for a series, miniseries or TV Movie ah hell... ANJELICA HUSTON won - can't get upset - hadn't seen her in IRON JAWED ANGELS - but Anjelica Huston just generally rules for being in Prizzi's Honor

Best Supporting Actor for a series, miniseries or TV movie - Go SHATNER!!!!!! and the winner is - WILLIAM SHATNER!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!! This show rules, only here could Shatner beat Micael Imperioli! hahahaha... SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH!!! SING SING SING... SONG SONG SONG!!! OH MAN!!!! That kinda sucked as a speech, but it's shatner and the pauses ruled! He so needs to play W.C. FIELDS along with Johnny Depp's Mae West!

Now we have a description of KINSEY and a little sequence from the film - or trailers... It's so sad - this little clip is so bad - that's so not the film. It's brilliant and that was lame.

Jim Carrey, "Greetings Human Units" - God - he's funny... oh is this the head of the Hollywood Foreign Press! OH BILL CLINTON - the better president - eek he mentioned Bush - oh, Tsunami benefit. Damn - Bill is looking good these days.

Actress - TV Series - Drama -- So is jennifer wearing red to subtely plug ELEKTRA? and the winner is - Jayne Mansfield's Daughter!!!! NIPPLES!!!! Mariska Hargitay - She doesn't quite have the upfront talents of Jayne, but she's very yummy - LAW & ORDER - boy she looks like an exotic hot Sandra Bullock - oh she's crying - AWWWWW that was sweet!

Best Actor in A TV Series Drama - Go Ben Grimm! Ian McShane is scary - and the winner is DEADWOOD - Ian McShane - MINE!!! Deadwood is pretty damn good, I've caught a couple of episodes, waiting for the DVDs - that way I can just watch it all!

SAM!!!! he kicked the shit out of ELEKTRA! Oh yeah, THE INCREDIBLES!!!

UGH - Meryl Streep - following Sam with her is like hell... Hehehe - ok, she's funny. Best Motion Picture made for TV - AMERICAN FAMILY looks overwrought, IRON JAWED ANGELS already picked up one for Anjelica, GO - THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS - I love that film, but then I saw it in the Paramount theater, LION IN WINTER - something that never needed to be remade... SOMETHING THE LORD MADE - Babyface says it rules - and the winner is... LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS! I love that flick - go Tom Jones! The director of PREDATOR 2 wins! Muahahaha! FOCKIN VOODOO MAGICK MAAAAN!!!! That producer is awfully dry. This film should have been released into theaters!

Best Actor Tv Series - Musical Comedy - Annette Kellerman says this category is about makin weird faces at the camera - and the winner is... JASON BATEMAN - Silver Spoons, It's Your Move and TEEN WOLF 2!!! Fucking A! lol. Dude, Bateman is ass. What the fuck. Tony Shaloub owns his ass! Ahhh, but Richie Cunningham is happy, so that's good!

Halle Berry - your boobs are all fucked up... I mean, did she only have one boob removed? That's the worst dress ever... Oh god - did the costume designer of CATWOMAN volunteer to make a free evening gown.. Ewww...

Will Ferrell lost an eye - Best Actress Musical or Comedy winner is - ANNETTE BENING - She's awesome, but damn I was rooting for Kate. And Warren is looking dapper tonight. BEING JULIA was a pretty great movie. She's so damn poised. Classy as hell. And Warren takes her to Pizza Joints. Cool!!!

Best TV Series Drama - 24 - heard it's ok... DEADWOOD - know it's great... LOST - well, I'm waiting for the DVD set, but Paul Dini writes for it, so it must be brilliant... NIP/TUCK - ewww her face is all fucked up. THE SOPRANOS - the aggressive Flintstones. And the winner is... NIP/TUCK - fuck that. CARNIVALE should have won!

Yes the Desperate Housewives give the award to GEOFFREY RUSH for Best Dramatic Actor TV - and I love that he thanked his makeup team first, as they're the key reason he's there. Their makeup transformed him and gave him the basis for that role to be amazing.

Now it is Best Dramatic Actress - not interested in seeing these first two, now, Julianna Margulies in THE GRID is pretty fucking awesome. I checked out the upcoming DVD the other day and holy shit it rules. Just watched Miranda Richardson in CRYING GAME special edition. Hilary Swank - maybe if they give it to her here, she'll lose for MILLION DOLLAR BABY. and Pacino gives it to... GLENN CLOSE for the second best version of... God, she's everybit as scary as she was boiling bunnies. Ewww

OHMYGOD - Glenn Close is still there... oh... oh, she's introducing CLOSER - Johnny Wadd is cracking up that Glenn CLOSE is introducing CLOSEr... ugh...

The stars of the next Michael Bay movie... SCARLETT, EWAN - I want both of you. Foreign Film - THE CHORUS from France (Nice little film), HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS from China (Fucking Brilliant film), MOTORCYCLE DIARIES from Brazil (Love this) THE SEA INSIDE from Spain (great film), A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT from France - Wonderful... THE SEA INSIDE wins - probably the most tearful of the films and tenderly made. AMENABAR is on stage - god damn he's young looking.

Driver goes all gaga over PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - nice clips

AHA - Matthew! - Best Screenplay, Charlie Kaufman GO, John Logan, David McGee, Patrick Marber, Alexander Payne..... WHOA - SIDEWAYS won! Alexander and I got to hang out on a plane leaving Heathrow for Berlin, and he was very quite nice. He's cut his hair since then. Wow, his agent nearly always returns his call, he must be famous. Heh.

BEST ACTRESS - TV SHOW - COMEDY... Seems like a lot of Desperate Housewives are winning. And the winner is... TERRI HATCHER - Desperate Housewives... I'd give it to the Redhead, but she's too yummy. She's been drinking a bit... yup... I think Herc loves this show. She should always be locked naked out of her house... I might be persuaded to take her in. Wow, she's toasted. This is adorable. Heh. Ok, that was enjoyable.

The Badass co-star of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 introduces HOTEL RWANDA! For consideration of Best Film - Drama.

Whoa - Lisa Marie is insane looking tonight. Best Score - MILLION $ BABY, FINDING NEVERLAND, AVIATOR, SIDEWAYS, SPANGLISH - go AVIATOR -- YES! Howard Shore won for THE AVIATOR!! And while I love that score, THE INCREDIBLES was the best score of the year in my estimation. But - Howard rules as does his music for THE AVIATOR, where he got some tuneup work for Biplane music. Heh.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG - Shrek 2 -BLEH, Polar Express - BLEH, Phantom of the Opera - that new song was ass, Hotel Rwanda - ok, that song is at least cool. The ALFIE song, Mick Jagger... well, Mick would be the most entertaining award speech... HAHAHA... MICK WINS! OLD HABITS DIE HARD! God damn that man is cool! That suit rules... Music is like a pushup bra for us, pushing us back up into the lime light. LOL! Everyone that WAS working at Paramount. Ohmygod, he rules! Ok, highlight of the evening. Mick owns!

Whoa - PRINCE - He's intro-ing RAY - and damn - it's cool that he's there, but it rocks. BOOGER!!!! Yes, BOOGER rules!

Ron Howard on Best Directors Motion Picture. Eastwood, Forrester, Nichols, Payne and Scorsese... go Martin... the winner is FUCK ALL!!! Goddammit! Clint Eastwood. I love Eastwood - but not this movie. Fuck - Scorsese so should have won... But I can't get MAD about this - Eastwood is Eastwood. I just wish it would have gone to any of the other 4.

Now Diane Keaton - goddess - hits the stage - Best Actor - Musical/Comedy - Jim Carrey (should win), Jamie Fox (will probably win), Paul Giamatti (also should win) Kevin Kline shouldn't be here, nor should Spacey. The winner is - JAMIE FOX ray! And you can't really argue with that. Jamie was amazing in this and Collateral. Oh, he's having fun up there. Getting the echo-game going, and Fox wants to tamper with the world's water supply. Homeland Security should be picking him up any second now. Booger makes that movie sing! And now - he just dropped the bomb on that audience... jesus that silenced every room it was playing in.

Pierce Brosnan comes out wanting to have sex with MRS DOUBTFIRE - Oh - he's doing the Robin WIlliams tribute -- POPEYE! FUCKING A! POPEYE! Best movie he ever made. Good Morning, Vietnam didn't suck... heh. DEAD POETS SOCIETY which was sold as a comedy, but whoa... certainly wasn't one. Wonderful film. OOOooooh - THE FISHER KING - brilliant movie. Ungodly brilliant film. Then THE BIRDCAGE - whew... that's insane. MRS DOUBTFIRE - can you spot the downward spiral? C'mon show ONE HOUR PHOTO.... then GOOD WILL HUNTING - man he does great Affleck dialogue. INSOMNIA - pretty damn good... Ewwwwww PATCH ADAMS. But no ONE HOUR PHOTO - fuck that. Mike Nichols takes the story - oh, he's about to illustrate Robin's goodness. And does it earnestly. FRIEND LIKE ME plays ... HOOK... whoa sneaked ROBOTS in there eh, subtle. Now it's time for Robin to hit stage and chastise them for no Garp footage. LOL - Pia Zadora. STAR TREK THE MUSICAL set... omg - lol.... TRUE AMERIKAN... hahahaha... If it's not one thing, it's your Mother. LOL - Goddamn he's a martian.

Ah, now Orlando Bloom, soon to be seen in ELIZABETHTOWN - Intro-ing AVIATOR...

Now Charlize hits the sage looking YUMMILICIOUS - BEST ACTOR - Drama Film - and the winner is... LEONARDO DICAPRIO for THE AVIATOR - So - what's Best Pic going to be? Jesus. This is a up in the air type of year. All over the place. AVIATOR has picked up this and Score. Martin looks so embarrassed.

Best TV Series - Comedy - Arrested Development, that Herc show DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, Entourage, SEX IN THE CITY and WILL & GRACE... the winner is Herc's show - DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES! That Redhead needs to do a sex scene in a film real soon. Satire is bad, SOAP OPERA is good! Words to live by.

droool - Kate Hudson... talking about SIDEWAYS - ya know

Dustin hits the stage, Best Actress - Drama - Scarlett, Nicole - wow its remembered, Hilary, Go UMA! - Winner is.. Hillary Swank - pulls a double! Wins for MILLION DOLLAR BABY. She's real good in the movie, I just don't care for the movie. I just think... Karate Kid: THe Next Generation. As does most in this Sea-Side Shack.

And now for the AB KING moment of the night - Stallone comes out to introduce MILLION DOLLAR BABY - cuz he is Rocky. A FAR FAR FAR better boxing movie. FAR FAR FAR FAR BETTER movie.

Goldie Hawn BEST PICTURE - Musical Comedy - Sunshine, Incredibles, Sideways - and the winner is SIDEWAYS. I love SIDEWAYS - but ETERNAL SUNSHINE and INCREDIBLES are far far far better films in my book... of course ETERNAL SUNSHINE shouldn't be in fucking comedy to begin with. I just feel it was a drama with laughs, not a comedy with drama. That film hurt more than anything else.. Having said that, this is what happens when you put together films that are all awesome.

Nicole Kidman - BEST PICTURE - Drama - AVIATOR (go), CLOSER, FINDING NEVERLAND, HOTEL RWANDA, KINSEY, MILLION DOLLAR BABY - YES!!!! For THE AVIATOR!!! God, I was terrified that fucking Boxing movie had it!!! Now Let Scorsese talk! LET SCORSESE TALK!!! Man, Producers can be so rude. Another guy I didn't want to talk. Give it to Marty!!! Fuckity fuck.

Well, that was fairly schizophrenic.