Hey folks, Harry here... I suppose, for me the reason I just did not dig this movie at all would be a hodge podge of these 10 reasons. I love Clint and Morgan as actors, personalities and icons... but I hate seeing them regurgitate tired cliched characters that they did to perfection 5 times prior. This isn't like Cagney in WHITE HEAT or John Wayne in THE SEARCHERS where he took the cliche and turned it on its ear and completely and utterly redefined not only the character but the entire genre related to the character. This is just going through the motions to me. Anyway, here ya go...
TEN REASONS WHO MILLION DOLLAR BABY IS A PIECE OF JUNK (no spoilers)
1. Clint Eastwood is playing the standard aged Clint Eastwood role - again! Loner, divorced, estranged, haunted by his past mistakes.
2. Morgan Freeman is playing the Morgan Freeman role - how original - why is he narrating the film? Because he did in Shawshank Redempton? Why do there have to be two wisened old codgers in the same film? Isn't that one codger too many? If you took out Morgan Freeman's character would anything in the movie change at all?
3. Hilary Swank is playing the Hilary Swank role - pretty impressive that Clint can turn her into a cliche when she's only been \in a few movies- androgonous, determined, moves to a new town to start a new life, girl with a heart of gold.
4. The sloppy direction - See that "title fight on HBO"? The one that looked like an outtake from BACKYARD WRESTLING. And how about the contender for that fight who up until that point was training in some dingy gym and who is swept away by another "big time" manager who seems to like to hang out at dingy gyms. Really? Is that how it works? Oh, and now we're in London. How do I know that? Stock shock of Big Ben. Thanks, Clint.
5. We learn nothing about boxing other than a few stale metaphors. Oh, and you have to breathe.
6. If aliens from outer space landed and only watched MILLION DOLLAR BABY and Mystic River they'd think that Earth's atmosphere is covered in a thick film of pukey green. Just because a movie is ugly to look at and underlit doesn't mean it's "gritty."
7. How about those supporting characters? Subtle, huh? The gold digging family? The forced banter at the gym between the other boxers. Subtle.
8. Some cliches are cliches created from other hack movies, not "truths" from real life."
9. Nobody in this movie is interested in a romantic relationship with... anyone? Ever? Not even years ago? One character with a mysterious and vague past, intriguing-- ALL characters with a mysterious and vague past... lazy. Oh, and the three leads, are all PERFECT PEOPLE. Not a bad thought in anyone's head. When was the last time you met someone as saintly as these three?
10. The last 30 minutes. Ugh. The "shocking twist" is a variation on 80% of all boxing movies. Take a guess what happens. Okay, not quite, but you're damn close.
Bonus reason- and this applies to almost all Clint Eastwood directed movies - just because a movie is slow and humorless and depressing and badly shot doesn't mean it's art. It means its slow and humorless and depressing and badly shot.
You can call me The Unforgiver...
