Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with my massive, massive annual Holiday shopping guide. Well, I say it's my guide, but it's really AICN's guide as the content was gathered with the help of some of the AICN writers and, more importantly, you, the readers. I've received nearly 150 emails with 2-10 ideas each and the ideas have been of great help. So, before I kick this sucker off, I'd like to thank each and every one of you who sent me Holiday ideas. Not every item made it in (usually due to my own personal taste, sorry anime and Joss Whedon fans), but everybody's sure to find something for them or those geeks to them below!

I have a little system worked out. We got CHEAP being items under $20, MODERATE being items between $20 and $50, PRICEY being items between $50 and $150, EXPENSIVE being items $150 all the way to $999 and then, lastly, FOR THE SUPER-RICH ONLY being items more than $1000. You'll notice that most of the links are to Amazon and that's mostly because of their good prices mixed with their free shipping on orders over $25. When you're dealing with books and DVD box sets shipping can get costly, so it's a great feature. I don't see any money from it, but you may butter Harry's bread a little with each click and buy, which makes Harry happy and we all like Happy Harry! hehe

Keep your eyes peeled below, squirts. This year we've actually got some giveaways, so by reading this list you may get your own geek gift delivered to you, free of charge! Anyway, we've got little to do and lots of time to do it in, so let's get going! Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

Since last year's guide, Harry has started up his monthly DVD columns, so in order to not just totally rehash his December picks I'm only going to be touching on a couple of December releases.

CHEAP

I think it's fitting that this guide starts off with one of the best family films of the last decade. The Special Edition of Brad Bird's modern classic, THE IRON GIANT, is out and only $14.99 on Amazon, although I got it at Wal-Mart for just over $12. This disc has commentaries by Bird, deleted scenes and lots of other goodies. I had forgotten how good the movie was until I picked up this special edition and took a listen to Bird's commentary. It's pretty amazing when a film has me tearing up while I'm listening to a commentary based solely on the visuals. When the Giant thinks Hogarth is dead and just looks so helpless, confused and alone... Damn. Great flick!

THE IRON GIANT SPECIAL EDITION DVD

MODERATE

This is where most of the DVD choices lie. Some really great stuff available this year. Let's get the obvious out of the way:

THE LORD OF THE RINGS – THE RETURN OF THE KING Special Extended Edition

Who isn't looking forward to the final Extended Edition to round out the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy? $23.99 at Amazon.

For a slight change of pace, how about something for the Homestar Runner fans? If Trogdor rules your world, then the DVD collection of the first 100 Strongbad emails is a must have. Available for $29.99 at the Homestar Runner website. I haven't seen this DVD myself, but I've seen most of the emails and just based on those alone this is worth having. "Burninating the country side! Burninating the peasants!"

I'd also recommend SHAUN OF THE DEAD for any horror or British comedy geek in your house ($20.99 at Amazon). Actually, SHAUN would make a great companion gift to the wonderful full set of THE OFFICE.

THE OFFICE COMPLETE SET DVD

My 13 year old brother ate this series up, so it isn't just 20-something geeks or the British who enjoy this. This set is frickin' great with the complete 1st and 2nd Seasons as well as the 2-hour wrap-up special, that is a note-perfect final note. If there's someone in your family that likes CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM and hasn't seen THE OFFICE, I highly recommend this set. It's a less cynical British counterpart to CURB, with a lead character that always seems to put himself into humiliating circumstances and just keeps digging himself a deeper and deeper hole. There's also a great romance between Tim (Martin Freeman, who is playing Arthur Dent in the upcoming adaptation of THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY) and Dawn (Lucy Davis, who is also in SHAUN OF THE DEAD). $44.94 at Amazon.

PRICEY

THE COMPLETE MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS MEGASET

In keeping with the British Comedy kick, how about a huge monster of a DVD set: The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus Megaset which you can pick up for $149.96 at Amazon, a full $50 cheaper than retail. Who doesn't want 1472 minutes of complete Python goodness? Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin's classic bits are all there in 14 DVDs!

HBO has a great culty/geeky series out that Harry recently creamed over in his December DVD pics. CARNIVALE is a beautiful example of why HBO is the tops. This series is off-beat, eccentric, weird and shot more like a film than a mini-series. If you got an old-time carnival lover, David Lynchian material lover or just plain weirdo in your family Season 1 of CARNIVALE is perfect at $69.99 with commentaries on at least 3 hour long episodes and a Making Of. I've personally seen this set and it has my seaman stamp of approval.

I've gotten many suggestions for the Wong Kar Wai DVD collection. I've had very limited exposure to Wai's films, but what I have seen is beautiful and hypnotic. The set includes Chungking Express, Happy Together, Days of Being Wild, Fallen Angels and As Tears Go By. $79.96 at Amazon.

BOOKS

CHEAP

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction is a wonderful book. Jon Stewart and his cohorts (Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert, Samantha Bee, etc) made a hugely fun book that is modeled after a high school text book, complete with end of chapter questions, quizes and extra-credit opportunities. It's a history of America as told by the Daily Show folks, so it never, ever gets dry or boring. It's a big book with lots of laughter for only $14.97.

This next recommendation comes from a friend of mine, who I'll just call JM. I'm recommending this book based on JM's love of it and because I know the author somewhat. I have met his wife, kids and did a really fun interview with him a few years ago (which I hear he mentions in the book). I haven't picked up my copy yet, but that's only because I've been so blasted busy lately traveling the world and my reading time has been taken up with the conclusion of one of my favorite book series. But I'll get to that in a minute. Right now it's about JUST A GEEK by Wil Wheaton.

JM told me that this book is one of the best of the year and provides an insight into one of us, one that just happened to star in one of the best films of the last 30 years (STAND BY ME) and play a character on Star Trek. Wil's a wildly funny guy, a super nice guy and, strangest of all, a real guy. JUST A GEEK is $16.47 at Amazon.

Speaking of wildly funny guys, I have to also suggest George Carlin's newest book, WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORKCHOPS?, a collection of ideas and comedic bits much like his previous book BRAIN DROPPINGS. I've flipped through this sucker and found myself laughing out loud... in the bookstore. Carlin is a living legend and is always hilarious, although I may be a bit biased since Carlin was very gracious and kind to a 14 year old geeky high school freshman who asked for an interview for his school paper. I was so wet behind the ears it's not even funny and Carlin gave me his time and put up with my inexperience and adoration very kindly. Bias or no, the book's only $14.37. If you like Carlin, you'll love this book.

The next book is one that I have not read, but it comes highly recommended by Moriarty. It's called JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL: A NOVEL by Susanna Clarke at $17.61. It's a fantasy tome set in the 1800s and is damn near as big as the Bible. I'm gonna pick up a copy of this and give it a read as Moriarty really seems to have flipped over this one. Give Amazon a click and read the summary and the very positive reviews to know more!

The final book I'm gonna mention that's in the CHEAP price range is Bev Vincent's THE ROAD TO THE DARK TOWER: EXPLORING STEPHEN KING'S MAGNUM OPUS. This book is a must for any Dark Tower fanatic, like me. In the pages of this book you'll find out how Roland came about, what King's inspirations were and a detailed play by play of the series that underlines early foreshadowing and even clarifies some questions one may have after finishing the series. At 10.17 this book is a must buy for the Tower junkie in your circle.

MODERATE

As mentioned previously, I'm a huge fan of Stephen King's DARK TOWER series and the final 3 books came out this year. The 7th and last book (aptly titled THE DARK TOWER) is a fantastic read and a great end to the series. Amazon has it at $23.10.

If you're not familiar with the series yet, why not hit Amazon's Dark Tower store where you can get some of the earlier books in this unique mixture of western, sci-fi, fantasy and horror. I know there's a package deal of books 1-4 in paperback. Go ahead and check 'em out! And if you want the absolute perfect gift for the Dark Tower fan in your circle, scroll down to the ART section for some great stuff!

This book is gorgeous and perfect for anybody that loves THE INCREDIBLES (ie 99% of the world's population). The evolution of the characters' looks (especially Dash) is damn interesting and the design work is just beautiful. It's $40.00 usually, but you can get it at $25.20 at Amazon.

If you want an Art Of book for a more... say, mature friend or family member, you can't go wrong with THE ART OF FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY for $25.17. Miller's art is iconic, violent and erotic all at once. I have this book and can't tell you how cool it is. Once the movie comes out next year, you'll be hunting for this book to revel in the greatness of Miller and to compare to the literal translation Rodriguez and Miller are bringing to the screen.

PRICEY

50th ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS

With a $100 price tag, this is a very pricey book, but if you head over to Amazon you can get the 50th Anniversary Edition of THE LORD OF THE RINGS for $60.00, 40% off for those who hate math. It's a massive tome with all 3 LOTR books in one volume. The reviews on Amazon say that it's the finest edition of LORD OF THE RINGS ever published. I don't have this edition, but the pics make it look very desirable. Fold out maps, fancy paper and that pretty gold edge-stuff all included.

This next item is the only repeat item from last year's list and that's due mainly to me growing up on The Far Side and the fact that I just flipped through a copy at Borders today. THE COMPLETE FAR SIDE by Gary Larson . This two tome full color complete Far Side has every Far Side ever created and is priced at $135, but you can get it for $81.00 at Amazon.

ART

PRICEY

Over at SIDESHOW TOYS website, they have a few posters for sale. Let's start with this one:

Drew Struzan's beautiful (and stupidly not used) one sheet artwork is available to buy, signed by the man himself for $100. For a Hellboy freak or a movie poster lover this is a great gift.

EXPENSIVE

You'll see the ART category dominated by these Dark Tower prints from Michael Whelan, who illustrated the first and last books in the Dark Tower series. I'm a Tower Junkie, so you'll have to bear with me a moment. All prints, save one, are $175 and limited to only 500 pieces each. They're signed by Whelan and amazingly beautiful. I have this one:

It's absolutely gorgeous, but needs a frame (any suggestions on a good inexpensive frame store?). For any Dark Tower fan, any one of these prints would be a perfect Holiday gift... These are the rest of the $175 prints:

Of the 4 DT prints, this is the only one that's $195...

All prices not including shipping and the prints are available at Whelan's website. And if you want to send a poor seaman who loves Dark Tower one of these prints (especially the doorway or DT7 cover ones) you can drop him an email here. Anyone? Anyone? Hello?

If nearly $200 is too small-time for you, how about this beautiful Struzan limited edition SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION poster signed by Frank Darabont and Struzan? It's a whopping $650 from Sideshow, but damn if it isn't a beautiful poster. Limited edition of 100. Check this bad boy out:

TOYS

CHEAP

Strangely enough, there's only a few entries into the CHEAP category for Toys this year. It may be that after the Christopher Lee STAR WARS ULTIMATES there hasn't been a regular Star Wars toy that really got my juices flowing. McFarlane also has put out some sadly lacking movie toys this year (though the RoboCop movie maniac ain't bad... but why did they make their Hicks figure look nothing like Michael Biehn?)

So, TV toys have the Cheap category exclusively to themselves. Let's start with a figure of a man who means a lot to me and my childhood.

Over at Palisades Toys they have a special edition Jim Henson toy in the same style as their Muppets line. THE MUPPET SHOW, DARK CRYSTAL and LABYRINTH ruled my childhood and Jim Henson's death was the first celebrity death that meant anything to me as a child. This figure is $20 plus shipping from Palisades Toys' website.

The other toys on the list are from the TV show FAMILY GUY, a series that got untimely cancelled, but is coming back to TV thanks to incredibly high DVD sales. Before the new episodes start to air, you can grab Peter, Lois, Stewie, Brian and Chris (complete with the angry monkey that lives in his closet) and create your own Family Guy shows! Although, I must admit that the second Series line is much cooler, but doesn't come out until February. It includes Quagmire (with blow-up doll), Mutant Stewie, Death and more. The toys can be found around $10-$14 bucks. I had a hard time tracking down a good site to link, but I've seen them at Suncoast and Spencer's Gifts. I'm sure Toys 'R Us would have 'em, too.

MODERATE

I got a lot of emails about this one. This is an adjustable helmet that can change your voice into the one and only real Sith Lord, Darth Vader. I would have shit myself to have this as a kid. I can link you to Wal-Mart and Toys R Us via Amazon, but they're all sold out. I've seen this in-store at both Wal-Mart and Target recently, so if you want one be sure to check the nearest Wal-Target near you. The price is between $28 and $35.

PRICEY

I keep getting emails about Robosapien, a dancing/slave worker robot. This sucker can be commanded to do many things (including farting) and has sensors that detect things in its path. It can do kung-fu and picks shit up around your house. Even though I think it's a bad idea to teach a robot Kung-Fu, especially one made to clean up your mess like a slave, this is still pretty damn cool. Best Buy has him on sale at $79.99.

????????????????

This is a special price category unique to this one product. I have no earthly idea how much this toy is. I know it's a custom built toy, so it's probably in the Expensive to For the Super Rich Only price range. If you've been reading AICN for the last year or so, you'll notice we've been pimping a film called OLDBOY pretty hard. If someone can read and write Korean and wants to figure out how much this toy is (or how expensive the toymaker is to hire), by all means let us know! This is the site where I found the below.

VIDEO GAMES

GIVEAWAY #1

UPDATED!!! All 10 copies have been given out! Thanks for the flood of entries and for those that missed out, better luck on the next one!

I'm starting the Video game bit off with a giveaway. The good folks at THQ are giving 10 of you lucky readers THE INCREDIBLES game for X-Box (yes, it is X-Box Live enabled)! To win all you have to do is email me here with the subject line INCREDIBLES GIVEAWAY with the answer to these questions: 1) Who voiced Edna Mode in THE INCREDIBLES? 2) What's Frozone's secret identity? and 3) Who voiced Violet and what does she do for a living? The first 10 I get with the correct answers will get the game under their tree or in their stocking this year!!!

MODERATE

For those who don't win an INCREDIBLES game you can pick up a copy at Best Buy for $39.99.

There's also a PC game that I have not played, but am told it's the best FPS out there. HALF-LIFE 2 has gotten rave after rave after rave and I got at least 20 emails about it for this article. If there's a PC gamer in your family odds are they have this already or want it real bad. $39.99 at Best Buy.

For the PS2 nutball GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS is probably on the top of their want list. I've only gotten to play it for about 10 minutes, myself, but that's because my girlfriend loves that game (and PS2) more than almost anything else and physically threatened my well-being if I took up her shooting random people and sniping whores time. I liked what I got to play, but I haven't gotten a chance to fully explore the game or play any of the story mode. If it's half as fun as Vice City, then count me in. $49.99 at Best Buy.

There's also an 8-disc soundtrack box set for GTA:SA for $46.99 at Amazon. Each disc represents a different radio station, complete with the hilariously vulgar commercial parodies. There's something for everyone in this set, so if you have a friend or relative with eclectic music tastes, this wouldn't be a bad idea as a gift. Especially if they dig GTA. There's Country, Rap, Classic Rock, Funk, R&B and much more, each with its own disc.

PRICEY

I'm a massive HALO fan. It took a few days playing HALO 2 to get used to it, as it's not a carbon copy of the first game, for good or ill, but still towers above all other console games I've played this year for me. The campaign is way too short, but the multiplayer is top notch, especially on X-Box Live, which I don't have, but have played as guest to my buddy, Kraken. I've seen what X-Box live has done to that poor bastard, so I'm hesitant to dip in for fear of becoming a recluse. $54.99 for the Collector's Edition (with pretty metal case and bonus DVD with a behind the scenes look at the making of the game) at Best Buy.

STATUES

GIVEAWAY #2

UPDATED!!! This one was picked up about 3 minutes after I posted the story! Congrats to Baldwin Hsu for having quite the trigger finger! Sorry if you entered and didn't get it, but there's bound to be more Weta giveaways on this site, so keep your eyes peeled!

Now this is really cool. One of you lucky buggers will get this beautiful LOTR statue from Sideshow/Weta:

I love the Rohan sword stickin' outta his gut! I have only one of these to give away. To enter, just email me here with the subject line WETA GIVEAWAY. To make things interesting, I'm going to take the very first entry I get as the winner. No questions, just the subject line and the words "QUINT RULES! I WANT THAT BADASS ROTK STATUE!!!" So click quick!!!

Being a poor writer I only have a couple of the Sideshow/Weta LOTR statues and those were given to me as presents, but can vouche for how cool these suckers look. Visit Sideshow/Weta's website and have a look around at mostly sold out stuff!

MODERATE

How about something that deserves to be on the shelf of almost every reader or contributor to this site?

For only $35 from Sideshow you can have the best... bust... ever!

EXPENSIVE

In keeping on THE INCREDIBLES kick, I saw that Neca toys is putting out a near 16" tall statue of Mr. Incredible himself. Looks sweet, but it's pretty expensive. The suggested retail price is $239.00, but I've seen it on Ebay for around $150. Check him out:

For $295.00 you can get this really neat pewter recreation of Gandalf Vs Saruman from the Noble Collection. Click here to check this badboy out!!!

For those with more dough to drop, how about this limited edition Alien Head signed by H.R. Giger?

That's damn sweet, but it's also $999.99 at this site. Big bucks, but damn if it isn't cool.

REPLICAS

MODERATE

This category is for movie prop replicas. Usually this category is limited to lightsabers, but I found some damn cool replicas for this year's article, even one that fits in the "MODERATE" category! This one is actually really nice for only $49.00 at Noble Collection. It's Hermione's Time Turner from HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN and it comes in a nice looking case.

At the Noble Collection's site, you can also get Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasely's wands for a mere $29.50 apiece. If you got a son/daughter/niece/nephew Harry Potter nutter, they'd flip for one of these.

PRICEY

"You throw me the idol, I throw you the whip!!!" Good ol' Doc Ock before he gained his extra appendages lost his life trying to rob Indiana Jones of this sucker, but what was briefly his can now be yours for $85.

This comes from a place called THE HAUNTED STUDIOS, who I've had no dealings with and haven't really heard of, so you may want to do a little digging before you plop down your $85, but it certainly looks cool!

EXPENSIVE

Now this one is really geeky cool. You remember the Batman TV show from the '60s? That's right, classic Adam West and Burt Ward. Remember how Batman opened the secret door to the fire station pole to slide down into the Batcave?

You can use Mr. Shakespeare in much the same way... This $299 beauty can hook up to most anything... you can press the button and turn on a lamp or a stereo with a little hook-uping. Unfortunately, it seems to have been put on backorder since I bookmarked it, but if you dig it you may want to search around a bit.

Now this is the replica that really made me shout, "Coooooollll!!!" It's expensive at $399, but it'd make any true geek cream his/her jeans to hold in their hands. It comes with a TV moniter, authentic sound effects, but not Bill Paxton, unfortunately. "I'm readin' in right, man! Look!"

Looks a little plain in that pic, but having your own Motion Tracker would rule the earth. Supposedly, the video plays for 30 seconds showing movement slowly surrounding you with the PING-PING-PING from the movie. You can take a closer look at Master Replicas' website.

Just now I got a call from Peter Billingsley, known the world-round as Ralphie from A CHRISTMAS STORY. He asked what I was up to and how this article has eaten up my life for the last 4 or 5 days and he said that I should include this really cool item. You know how places like Suncoast have those too-small replica Leg Lamps from A CHRISTMAS STORY? Well, there's a company that puts out a better quality replica Leg Lamp that is actually shipped in a box marked Fragile in the same style as the one in the movie. They have a limited edition version signed by all 5 kids from the movie, yes including Scut Farcus, Flick and Randy!!!

This is a whopping $499.95 from LegLamp.com (the non-autographed one is $214.95), but wouldn't it look great in the front window this Christmas?

BOND VILLAIN EQUIPMENT

FOR THE SUPER RICH ONLY

Finally, I have the most expensive item on this or any Holiday list. This particular bit of coolness is seriously, with no exaggeration, for the Super Rich only. Clocking in at an amazing $19.7 million, I give you... your very own, customized luxury submarine. Give a click to the link below and google at how the other half lives!!! Or rather the upper 2% of the upper 2%.

CLICK IT HERE FOR SUBMARINE GOODNESS

Well, that's what I got for this year. Hope you found some goodies in the above. This is far from an end-all, be-all list, just some bits that caught my fancy. I'm sure there will be plenty of talkbackers below with even more suggestions, so enjoy! I know there was a lot of expensive stuff that most of us could never afford, but I love to window shop and I hope you had fun looking at that pretty stuff! Have a safe and happy holiday, squirts! I'll be back soon with my own personal run-ins with Giant Robots and Big Monkeys, so keep an eye on the site, squirts!

-Quint