Father Geek here with an important edition of our regular weekly Downunder Report from Latauro... Great political coverage by the way... buuuuut I'm having second thoughts on how much freedom you've been given as editor down there as a result of that CATWOMAN review... then again there's all that censorship downunder, maybe you've just been brain laundered a bit too much... their washing seems to be working on the general public too... Just look at those box office winners for the last few weeks...

It's overtime!

THE AICN-DOWNUNDER PRE-ELECTION SPECIAL

It's one week until the Australian Federal Election. On October 9th, we'll know if we have three more years of John Howard, or a new PM in Mark Latham.

But, Latauro, AICN is all about the movies! Why are you going on about politics (unless you're somehow leading into a Michael Moore-related rant)? Well, I think that the film geek community has a right to know who its leaders are. And I'm not talking about their positions on the Free Trade Agreement or their funding to the Arts. No, I'm talking about the real issues. The important ones.

A few years ago, I saw an article appear on AICN that was analysing the favourite movie, TV show, etc of the US presidential candidates. I thought, yes! That's what we need for this election!

Unfortunately, John Howard and Mark Latham didn't agree. Neither of them got back to me in the month-and-a-half since I sent the questions.

So who did? Andrew Bartlett, leader of the Australian Democrats, and Bob Brown, leader of the Greens Party. Australia has a two-party system, but over the past few years both the Democrats and the Greens have become major forces in Australian politics.

But what do they stand for?

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FILM?

Senator Bartlett: Brazil or Trust

Senator Brown: Howard's End

Interesting choices here. BRAZIL is all about one man against the state, about someone trying to do the right thing but coming up against impossible bureaucracy. But does Senator Bartlett prefer the studio cut or the director's cut? Does he believe in a happy ending or a melancholy one? Or is it the journey that matters, the battle itself? I looked up TRUST on imdb.com and a few different choices came up. I'm going to assume that the Senator is talking about the Hal Hartley film from 1990, a satire that, according to one review, "brings into question the monotony of dreary jobs, thankless relationship and bad parenting".

Senator Bob Brown's choice of HOWARD'S END doesn't seem to make a point about his political or social leanings, but does speak to his aesthetic tastes. The Merchant Ivory production is beautifully-shot, contains superb performances, and has a wonderful pace. But it is interesting that the leader of a party that is as progressive as the Greens would pick a period piece as his favourite film.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TELEVISION PROGRAMME?

Senator Bartlett: Buffy the Vampire Slayer or West Wing

Senator Brown: wildlife programmes

Senator Bartlett's responses came back very quickly, therefore I doubt he had time research my own personal preferences and respond in like. Yes, he picked the two shows that I would pick if asked the same question. But what do these shows say about him as a politician? Well, "Buffy" is a show that was ridiculed by all before it even came out (I, myself, also initially mocked anyone who would ever watch such a programme). But then it began to win people over. The show turned out to have something to say, it contained messages. Messages which were being discussed with greater intelligence than any "serious dramas". No show or film has ever dealt with what it's like to lose a family member with the skill that the season five episode "The Body" did. "Buffy" is a show that was not taken seriously, but contained real substance. "West Wing", on the other hand, speaks more to his political leanings. "WW" is, I admit, propaganda, but not for any existing political body: it is idealistic propaganda, a "what if?" that promotes what government *should* be, not what it is. Although maybe I'm reading too much into that: Senator Bartlett said his favourite quote from the show was "Let Bartlet Be Bartlet"... and it all falls into place!

Senator Brown's pick wasn't surprising. The Greens started off as a party solely committed to the environment. Now, they've moved into all areas of politics but without losing sight of their original mission statement: the preservation of the environment. Bob Brown comes from Tasmania, one of the most ridiculously beautiful places in Australia, and whose old growth forests are under threat from logging. Is Senator Brown's answer a political statement, or a genuine revelation of his viewing preferences? I'd say both.

WHAT IS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?

Senator Bartlett: a Tropfest short film called Layover (co-written by one of my staff)

Senator Brown: Fahrenheit 9/11

LAYOVER didn't make it to the final finals, but was featured in a screening of short-listed entries from 2004. So I can't speak to the film's quality, but there are two elements to this: one is that the film screened back in April, so the Senator hasn't seen a film since then (which is good if you consider that he's probably too busy with his job, or bad if you're more concerned with him being one-of-us); the second element is that the co-writer is a member of his staff, so does that speak to loyalty?

Meanwhile, Senator Brown's choice is the ultimate political film. The one that has divided everyone in the political spectrum. Senator Brown is an outspoken critic of President Bush (even getting himself thrown out of parliament when GWB came to speak!), and this is perhaps his most important answer. If you know where you stand on F9/11, then you'll have a good idea of where you stand with the Greens.

So, given that all of your decisions in life should be influenced (if not totally dictated) by Ain't It Cool News, where does that leave you? Well, neither John Howard or Mark Latham saw fit to answer, so your choice must really be between Andrew Bartlett and Bob Brown! Are you a Gilliam person or a Merchant Ivory person? Do you prefer Buffy or nature? Shorts or politics?

On Saturday October 9, go to the polls and vote with the most important barometer you have: your love of film!

NEWS

* FULL MONTY director Peter Cattaneo is in South Australia at the moment, shooting POBBY AND DINGAN, starring Vince Colosimo (LANTANA) and Jacqueline McKenzie ("The 4400"). The film is about a young girl and her relationship with her imaginary friends in outback Australia.

* It looks like GHOST RIDER will shoot at the Melbourne Dockland Studios next year, with Nicolas Cage still attached to star. The film will be shooting at roughly the same time as CHARLOTTE'S WEB, which has almost finished its local casting.

* If you're Melbourne-based and think that starring in a new "urban horror feature" called HOOD is what your career needs, then you should contact 35Central and shout "I AM A THESPIAN! HEAR ME THESP!". They're looking for people between the age of 18 and 25, and want to go with a "European, multicultural" flavour. If you're interested, enquiries are welcomed on 0410 405 444.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

46TH AUSTRALIAN FILM INSTITUTE AWARDS

The nominees for this year's AFIs came out this week, with SOMERSAULT picking up the most nominations. Other nominees included TOM WHITE and ONE PERFECT DAY.

2004 QUEENSLAND PREMIER'S AWARD

Writer and Director Sarah Watt received the award for Best Screenplay for her feature film debut LOOK BOTH WAYS.

52ND SAN SEBASTIAN FILM FESTIVAL

New Zealand film IN MY FATHER'S DEN (directed by Brad McGann) is going great guns at the moment, having just picked up the Mercedes Benz Youth Jury Prize at the Spanish film festival.

TEMECULA VALLEY INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

The Californian film festival, now in its tenth year, awarded Australian cinematographer John Radel as Best Cinematographer for his work on the short film BLACK BERRIES.

BOX OFFICE

You know there's something seriously wrong when the far-and-away best film in the top five is DODGEBALL.

Sigh...

• 1. SHARK TALE
• 2. GARFIELD
• 3. DODGEBALL
• 4. THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2
• 5. A CINDERELLA STORY

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Dominique Pinon and Danny Glover go head-to-head, the TITANIC-beating box office hit finally leaves Greece, Mira Nair adapts a glossy magazine, we get yet ANOTHER film about nomadic shepherds in the Gobi Desert, Paul Bettany does his best Hugh Grant (and does an even better Kirstin Dunst), and a dance film about paralegals hits the street.

Here's what's new downunder...

• ALIEN VS PREDATOR
• A TOUCH OF SPICE
• VANITY FAIR
• THE WEEPING CAMEL
• WIMBLEDON
• YOU GOT SERVED

REVIEWS

(I didn't review A TOUCH OF SPICE, which is coming out on a staggered release around Australia over the coming weeks, but I point you here http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=16716 to my original review that appeared at the tail end of 2003. Do not miss this film.)

CATWOMAN

CATWOMAN is one of the most important pieces of postmodern art from the last twenty-seven years.

This is a film is not just about a cat-woman, but about all women. Can women be empowered? Can they stand up to their male oppressors? It's a bold statement, and certainly one that most filmmakers are afraid of. We clearly live in a male-centric manocracy, and the thought of a female hero fills most of us with fear. But that didn't scare off director Pitof or sceeenwriters Theresa Rebeck, John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris, and John Rogers. They went where no one else has dared to go, in film, television, text or paintings.

The film's central plotline, its major twist, its inherent contradiction is also its genius. Patience Phillips (Academy Award winner Halle Berry) starts off as a meek, but well-meaning, girl who is stepped on by her evil bosses. But when they kill her, she comes back as a self-confident, smart, sexy woman. It's a tour-de-force part, and requires someone with Berry's skills to pull it off, to make us believe it. By the end, I forgot I was in a film. Pitof's direction and Berry's performance had woven such a brilliantly subtle tale of transformation and empowerment, it almost went beyond normal cinema. This is what I imagine it must have been like when Mozart invented classical music.

But it doesn't just stop with women. The character of "Lance", portrayed by Berend McKenzie, will be remembered as the Rosa Parks of homosexuality. When you watch the film again, keep an eye on him. He's a co-worker of Patience Phillips, and so subtle in his portrayal of a "gay" who has fit neatly into society, I would not be surprised if he subconsciously changed the minds of every homophobic heterosexual in the audience. And, possibly, changed their preference as well.

This work of art does not fail in acknowledging its inspirations to those eagle-eyed and educated enough to get them. It's inspired by the works of Hitchcock, of De Mille, of Spielberg, of the Shaw Brothers. It could not have existed without the work of Fritz Lang or Orson Welles, or of its main cinematic inspiration, Stan Brackage. And yet, somehow, it evolves beyond those works, respectfully leaving them behind to eat its dust. It's a film that could not have existed without them, but is so important in the history of humanity that it would undoubtedly have existed whether they'd come before or not.

Further inspirations from the works of Saussure, Lacan, Freud, Wittgenstein, Levi-Strauss and, of course, Derrida. These earth-shattering philosophies have now been surpassed by a film that not only shakes the very foundations of cinema, but the very foundations of the Universe.

SHARK TALE

It's extraordinary how much this film sucks. I went along with the vague hope it would be, at very least, better than SHREK. It wasn't.

SHARK TALE is one of the laziest films to come out in recent memory. The plot is incomprehensible. No, scratch that. The plot is easy. The *story* is incomprehensible. The difference? The plot is about a small fish who everyone thinks killed a shark. He then becomes a celebrity. Easy enough, yeah? The story - which is the way the plot unfolds on screen - is the most unnecessarily convoluted thing I've witnessed. And this is supposed to be a kid's film? Pixar films (and it's impossible to talk about computer animation without drawing comparisons) are complex. They are not complicated. Dreamworks is the exact opposite.

We are subjected to characters who have no personality beyond the actors they've cast. Oscar is simply the character Will Smith plays in every film. Robert De Niro's shark is Robert De Niro. Fair enough, Jack Black actually put some work into his performance, but he's the only one. Anjelina Jolie's fish not only doesn't have a character... she doesn't have a plot. It seems like she's put in there to fill out the roster of big name actors that Dreamworks is preoccupied with snagging. Lola should have been left out many drafts ago.

Even minor characters, like the little shrimp in the restaurant (who is, clearly, cynically designed to be the next Little Green Man from TOY STORY or Gingerbread Man from SHREK) are confusing and irrelevant. Like everything else in the film, the shrimp's story of hardship isn't even close to being as funny as the filmmakers think it is, and the setup for revenge is hard to miss. But here's the thing: the revenge doesn't come. There's some brief reference to the shrimp when they try to delay Don Lino at the end, but it's absolutely nothing. It's the most pointless setup in any film.

"Geez, Lat, get over yourself! Stop being a self-important critic! As long as there are some jokes and the film looks pretty, let the kids have their fun." Well, no. I believe that just because kids are going to enjoy anything bright and shiny, doesn't mean we can just plant them in front of any old shite. Besides which, it doesn't look pretty. The visuals are horrendous. The animation is as ugly as anything PDI has ever done. There is nothing funny in the entire film. The film endorses graffiti-ng for crying out loud! And a dance-off to the tune of "Car Wash"? Are you kidding me?

Local note: Australian morning TV presenter Tracey Grimshaw appears in place of Katie Courie. Aside from the fact that people in the audience (kids included) are just as likely to know Grimshaw as they are Courie, the character is still called Katie Current! And isn't it supposed to be a character anyway? If it's a character, then who cares who plays the voice? Honest to God, you wonder who makes these decisions.

I suppose it doesn't help SHARK TALE that I've seen FINDING NEMO more than a few times. It probably doesn't help that a few hours after the film finished I went to see a double of the Miyazaki films LAPUTA: CASTLE IN THE SKY and KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE. Both hand-drawn animation. Both infinitely superior to SHARK TALE.

Do not, under any circumstances, see this film. Do not recommend it to anybody. Discourage people from seeing it. Not suitable for anyone.

NEXT WEEK

- Colin Farrell to play a franchise bookstore owner who decides to bring the wonders of books/cds/dvds/coffee to the war-torn third world in BORDERS WITHOUT BORDERS

- Kelis to make her feature film debut in MILKSHAKE, about a woman who makes a magic milk drink that has an effect on men, from a script by Akiva Goldsman

- The long-awaited AICN-Downunder biopic goes ahead with Studio Ghibli at the helm, for MY NEIGHBOUR LATAURO

Peace out,

Latauro

AICNDownunder@hotmail.com