I am – Hercules!!

Maybe!! Because that’s where Jane Espenson, for Herc’s money the best “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” writer not named Joss Whedon, is headed next season. (“She can’t help!” you scoff? Remember how much better “Star Trek” got after Rick Berman hired Michael Piller, Ron Moore and Ira Behr for TNG’s third season??)

To (mostly) recap, here’s where the former Buffiverse writers have landed so far:

Jeff Bell (Joss Whedon’s co-writer on the spectacular just-aired “Angel” series finale) is headed to “Alias.”

Liz Craft & Sarah Fain (they scripted Hamilton’s introduction in the five-star “Underneath”) have been asked to join “The Shield.”

Steve DeKnight (he co-scripted the hilarious Italy-set “Angel” that aired two weeks ago) is headed to “Smallville.”

Jane Espenson (“Earshot,” “The Replacement,” “I Was Made To Love You”), who worked on both “The O.C.” and “Gilmore Girls” last year, is joining “Tru Calling.”

Drew Goddard (DeKnight’s co-writer on “The Girl in Question”) is headed to “Alias.”

Drew Z. Greenberg (“Him,” “The Killer in Me,” “Empty Places”), who was scripting “Smallville” last season, is joining “The O.C.”

Rebecca Rand Kirshner (“Help,” “Touched”), a "Freaks & Geeks" vet who was on “Las Vegas” this season, is joining “Gilmore Girls.”

Doug Petrie ("As You Were," "End of Days"), who worked on both "Tru Calling" and an aborted "Lost in Space" series for the WB this season, is said to be taking the year off from TV next season to work on movie projects (Petrie, some will recall, wrote "Harriet the Spy" and drafted an early screenplay for "The Fantastic Four").

Buffiverse mastermind Joss Whedon, who wrote more “Angel” teleplays this season than ever before, is directing the big-screen “Firefly” movie, “Serenity.”

If you, constant reader, have heard of any employment motion among the other Buffiverse writer-types, drop us a line. For this just-concluding season Tim Minear was at “Wonderfalls,” David Greenwalt at “Jake 2.0,” David Fury at “Angel,” Marti Noxon at (the still unaired Fox drama) “Still Life,” and Mere Smith at “Tarzan.”

I am – Hercules!!

Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!