Ahoy, squirts. Quint, the currently fuming seaman, here with a review of Ehren Kruger's "adaptation" of Stephen King and Peter Straub's THE TALISMAN. This draft is dated July 13th, 2003 and I know there has been some work done to it since... matter of fact, I've been informed that Kruger has been rewritten by Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro (who have scripted John Dahl's upcoming GHOST SOLDIERS) and that they were brought in to make his drafts "more like the book."
I feel sorry for Bernard and Miro because based on the script I read, they had to rewrite all 145 pages to make it "more like the book."
BUT, before I start digging into Kruger's butcher job, I have a bit of news for you. Ed Zwick has taken over the director's chair, left open by Vadim Perelman. Zwick is best known as the director of flicks like GLORY, LEGENDS OF THE FALL and THE LAST SAMURAI. I saw Ed Zwick on a panel in Santa Barbara (funnily enough it was on the same panel as Vadim Perelman) and he came across as a really cool guy and very respectful of film. I didn't think THE LAST SAMURAI was the best movie ever made, but you can't deny that Zwick knows how to make epic stories with very intimate characters. I'm excited about him taking on the project and I'd be willing to bet he'll take a stab at reworking this script...
It certainly needs it. But, I have to bring up one bit of information... I've heard from a source, who I trust to know and respect the original material, that Kruger's first draft was a beautiful and faithful adaptation of King and Straub's book. There is no evidence left in the July 13th draft to suggest that is the case, but I trust this source... So, before all the TALISMAN freaks out there read the below and see red... don't go raiding Kruger's home just yet. It's possible that either studio interference or even Perelman's script notes could be responsible for the mess I read.
When I started Kruger's script I had come off of reading Richard LaGravenese's '93 draft, which was a disaster. In LaGravenese's draft gone was Speedy Parker, the Talisman itself rested in a storage house and was used to literally "rewrite" the evil out of existence. But you know what? He nailed the Sunlight Home, the wretched hellhole run by the dastardly faux-priest Sunlight Gardner. That's the point in the story where the bad guys finally get some comeuppance, courtesy of Wolf. It's my favorite part of the book and I'd even venture to say that it's one of the best sequences King and Straub have ever written.
The opening of the script gave me some hope. Kruger seems to really understand the character of Jack and shows us a lot of his personality in the hectic move to the lonely Alhambra Hotel. He also really nails Jack's loving, but strained relationship with his mom, an ailing and aging B movie star of the '70s. Shortly after Jack meets Speedy Parker and is given his quest any similarity between the script and the original novel, with the exception of character names, disappear.
Let's start with "The Quest." In the novel, the quest young Jack is put on is to travel from the East Coast to the West Coast to liberate The Talisman from an evil house. He can then use this Talisman to heal his mother and by doing so, will heal The Queen of the Territories. In the book, there are certain people who have "Twinners" which are alternate versions of that person that exist in the Territories. Lily Cavanaugh's "Twinner" is the fair Queen of the Territories. If she dies, the Territories will be overrun by an evil bastard known as Morgan of Orris, who has an equally slimy and evil "Twinner" in Jack's world by the name of Morgan Sloat, ex-partner of Jack's father and Uncle to the boy. And if the Queen dies, so does Lily.
In Kruger's screenplay, Jack STARTS OUT with the Talisman (contained in a guitar case given to the boy by Speedy Parker) and has to carry it to the Queen, who is held captive in a castle on the West Coast. This castle is the property of "The Alchemist," an evil man by the name of Morgan Strong. There is no Morgan Sloat (thus no Richard Sloat, either, for you fans) or Morgan of Orris... just this Morgan Strong who doesn't have half the menace of either of the two characters in the original novel.
In the screenplay, Morgan Strong has figured out a way to travel between worlds and is trying to use this power to woo the Queen, whom he loves. She'll have no part of him and is slowly starving herself to death while held captive by the Alchemist. Oh, and as an added insult to the fans of the book Jack Sawyer's father is revealed to be Morgan Strong... He couldn't sweet talk the Queen, so he traveled between worlds and got the second best thing: Jack's mom.
I know, I know... that change is really stupid and completely unnecessary, but the insanity doesn't stop there.
For a fantasy story, this script sure has very little fantasy involved. Of the 145 pages, I'd say roughly 10 of them takes place in the Territories and most of those happen at the very end of the script during the ridiculous raid on Morgan's castle. That's right, they took out the fantasy realm and set Jack's journey almost 100% in the real world.
That leads me to Wolf, one of King and Straub's most faithful and loveable characters. One, we never see Wolf in the Territories. Not once. Kruger also writes his dialogue as if he were half Autistic and half Mongoloid. It really is upsetting to see Wolf written this way. There are a few moments where Kruger does nail Wolf's temperament, but hardly enough to make it count. It also feels like Kruger took all the bonding of Wolf and Jack out of the story and decided to keep in all the whiney Jack-pissed-at-Wolf stuff instead. I never really bought their friendship in this script and as that's one of the strongest threads in the original book it came as a huge disappointment to me.
How about the bad guy you love to hate... Sunlight Gardner. Gardner appears very, very early on in the story (he tracks down Speedy and snatches him up) and is the constant threat, always two steps behind Jack Sawyer on his journey. I understand the need to give Jack's quest a sense of urgency, but they turn Sunlight Gardner into more of an evil detective than the quietly malevolent threat that the character needs to be. Gardner is threatening in the way he manipulates the people around him, not because he's plowing through cornfields in a limo with his two bumbling henchmen...
Oh, yes... The bumbling henchmen... Sissy and Roy are their names, but they're just creatures wearing human masks. So much of their stuff isn't played threateningly, like the Oately Tunnel sequence is in the book, but rather silly. They are fishes out of water and constantly make American pop culture mistakes... Terrible!
There's so much that doesn't work... the train sequence with Wolf's transformation, the "hypno-ring," the rescue of the Queen, the revelation of who Jack's father is... And you know why it doesn't work? Because it shares absolutely no relation whatsoever to the book. Are screenwriter's egos so fragile that they can't be faithful to the original material, even just a little bit? No matter what your opinion of the LOTR films are, you have to admire how Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and the Queen of the Geeks pulled the film out of the novels. What was added not only aided in telling the story, but also stayed true to character and tone. What was changed was necessary to a successful film version. Not so with this abortion.
So, now THE TALISMAN has a new director. I must plead with Mr. Zwick... This draft may not be the newest draft (I have my feelers out for the newest draft, but feel free to drop me an email if want to share), but if this is the course that the film version is traveling, it needs to be stopped. I don't ask for much. Stay true to the tone and structure of the book. You can tell this script is written by someone who knows the art of screenwriting, but if you're not going to stay true to the novel, then there is no point in making this movie.
This plea doesn't just go out to Ed Zwick, but also to Mr. Spielberg, Mr. Katzenberg and Mr. Gefen. I know Spielberg loved the book because he bought the rights to it back in the '80s. Mr. Spielberg, remember why you felt you had to buy up the rights in the first place. Don't settle for anything less than a great adaptation. It'll keep asshole fans like me from ranting and raving. There's a classic film for everyone in the family to be made from this book. Don't settle for OK.
And for the love of god and everything that is holy, put the Sunlight Home back in and make it as bloody as PG-13 will allow!
That's it from me, squirts. I could blow off a little more steam about this script, but I think I've made my point. Plus, this most certainly won't be the shooting draft. Hopefully I'll be able to come back in the following weeks and alleviate your fears about this adaptation. I want for nothing more. Please leave talkbacks below if, like me, you feel strongly about not butchering this book. Let 'em know how much this story means to you. It can only help.
