Ahoy, squirts. Quint here with a couple reviews of Wolfgang Peterson's TROY. While the below reviews vary a tad, they both say that the film is high on entertainment, but light on actual accuracy to the Greek Myths the film is based on. I, for one, can not wait to see this film. Peterson has had me since I was a child and bawled my eyeballs out when Artax gave in to the Swamps of Sadness... Damn that NEVERENDING STORY!!!
Anyway, of the two reviews, one is extremely spoiler-heavy (I must admit I myself stopped reading it after a few key plot points were given away) and the other proclaims to be "Spoiler-free." That one is up first, then the super spoiler one! Here's "Len."
Okay, I just got back from a sneak preview of Troy at Cal tonight. Some drama and conflict in the showing itself, but you guys don't care about that, so let's get to it.
This is a review, not a summary. I'm not telling the story after Warner Bros spent so much money doing it. Nothing but bad karma waiting along that path.
And let me preface this as saying I'm a bit of a myth geek. The Greek myths were some of the first things I remember reading as a kid (okay, the more sanitized ones), and I love the stories and the richness of those tales, especially those of the Heroic age. But, I'm also realistic. I wasn't expecting a great degree of accuracy. I was hoping for some degree of intelligence, but I really went in just expecting a fun, slice-em-up excuse to turn my brain off for two hours.
Expectations, 1. Hopes, 0. Ah well, story of my life.
Seriously, this does not seem to be a movie made by extremely smart people. It's a blast to watch, but it's not Homer, it's not myth, and in all respects, it's very distant from its source material. The context and background information is changed, the character's motivations are changed, (okay, maybe not Paris, he's still mostly just a horny bastard) and even who lives and dies changes. (No spoilers for you!) The filmmakers do an extremely efficient job of stripping out any shades of grey in the conflict, making it very much a "Heroes and Villains" piece.
Now, there's nothing wrong with heroes and villains, except for something like the Trojan War. This is a story of heroes, plain and simple, with their flaws and conflicts, but they all earn their titles in some way. The portrayal of Menelaos and Agamemnon that way is bordering on criminal, especially given the way the film sets up Menelaos at the beginning of the movie, with some complexity that had lot of potential, and that is promptly and conveniently forgotten twenty minutes in. They're two dimensional, but granted, they're written that way, so it's not entirely the actors' faults. I like Brian Cox, but he's in full on megalomaniac mode for this one, and really, not an interesting character at all. Brendan Gleeson is Menalaos, and nothing more than a brute flunky for his brother king. He's written with all the subtlety of a cinder block. They could have put a sign around his neck that read "You don't like this guy. Trust us." and been on equal ground. Thus, we have our villains. Well-acted, but thin.
The flick does a bit better when it decides on the heroes, though. Brad Pitt's performance as Achilles is okay, I guess. His faux-exotic-aristocratic-Brit accent is interesting, but not terrible. It didn't pull me out of the movie, anyway. He does shine in the action sequences, and the fight coordinator gets mad props (I can't believe I used that phrase) for his work throughout. Orlando Bloom's Paris is decidedly not a hero, no matter how hard the actor tries, and I think the movie did a good job of showing his folly. Decent performance, nothing spectacular. He just looks completely clueless a lot of the time, though. And I wonder if he should worry about being typecast after his role in the last act. Eric Bana owned as Hector. Yes, both bold and italics are necessary. He's the only character that I kinda cared about for most of the movie. In a better production, he might be average, but among all the elements of Troy, he shines. Sean Bean's Odysseus is great, too, but much underutilized. The personified brains of the Achaeans is alive and well in this script, even if a bit scarce, and Bean does what he can with it. He's likeable and sympathetic, and the one character among the Greeks whose motives are as deep as they are understandable. With the others, it's very cause-and-effect. Agamamnon's is greed, Menalaos wants revenge, Achilles wants glory, and the soldiers are along for the ride. Odysseus has depth and conflicts, even if they're on screen but briefly. Priam's nobility really comes across in Peter O'Toole's performance, even if the character is a little overplayed at times. He puts Brad to shame in their scene together. Though O'Toole really should have closed his eyes a bit. His eyeballs looked ready to pop out of their sockets in every scene, but I'm willing to bet he was directed that way. Subtlety in acting doesn't seem to be Troy's forte.
Enough about the actors, how was the movie? Good. Fun. Mindless. Again, not the Iliad, but when the credits say "Inspired by" you really should be warned then and there. The one-on-one fight scenes were great. When the focus is on the heroes, the direction shines. I want to see the Hector/Achilles fight again, so I'll probably end up actually buying a ticket to see the movie in a couple of weeks. All of them are a bit video-game-fighting'ish, but it works. Unfortunately, when they focus on the other 500,000-odd people there, the action suffers. The standing army shots are all nice and impressive (tres Return of the King, maybe, but I guess that's to be expected) but the actual battles are kinda dumb. Jump-cuts are back in force. Things are so frenetic that most of the time it feels like you just see the sword flying across the scene without any real knowledge of the consequences. It works well enough, but the direction is simply sub-par in some of them. Instead of the confusion of war it can feel like a bad music video that's been muted. In other words, unimpressive and vaguely unsatisfying. Also, on a side note, these are the stupidest armies ever. Wait for the dawn attack scene. (The one that looks like something happened to the projector because the film seems to blank and get really washed out.) No, check that, wait for the end of the dawn attack scene, and wonder why the hell the armies just do what they do without question.
On that note, unintentional comedy abounds. Be it from cheesiness, ham-fisted handling of the material ("See! See! There's an actual reference! I diid read the epics! ...Cliff's notes."), some bad lines, or Orlando or Brad looking genuinely confused for a few seconds of should've-been-edited scene.
The sets were amazing, and to a lesser extent, so was the costuming. You could feel the majesty of Troy. Basically, production values were high across the board, with only a few rough edges effects-wise. The matte paintings/digital matte landscape scenes were also well done, and low-key. Not low key, on the other hand, was the gratuitous semi-nudity. No payoff for we gents, however, as we're teased with back shots or ones juuuust north of where we want 'em. The ladies get a lot of back shots as well, and plenty of shirtlessness to satisfy them. Hopehopehope you're not sitting around the ones who'll swoon and scream, although the odds are really against that possibility.
All in all, a good flick. Fun to watch with friends on a Friday night. Maybe one to avoid as a date movie, so that your date won't be thinking about naked actors for the rest of the night. The much-vaunted love story here is really just a pretense, and an aside to the real action revolving around Hector and Achilles.
One of my favorite moments is when Hector has some parting words for li'l bro Paris before Hector goes to meet Achilles. The line is forgettable, but the visual dichotomy between Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom just enhances their character traits. Paris looks like a fourteen-year old innocent punk next to Hector, and the scene just stuck with me. Other favorite scene: Hector/Achilles fight! (Must resist temptation to yell "Soryuken!" every time Pitt does his jump-stab. You'll know which one.)
Also, Ajax needed more ass-kicking time (or a story, but that's crazy talk!), but that's just my opinion. Watch and see if you agree. I figure when they go that far, they should just run with it.
Thanks,
-Len
And now for "Kaylee Frye's" spoilerific and a little more negative look at the film!
Hi Harry!
Just got back from an advance screening of Troy. The theatre was full of rowdy college students who were looking for a good time. What we got was a really cheesy movie that made us laugh throughout...unintentionally.
There are some spoilers ahead...
The two biggest things that were wrong with this movie were the dialogue and the casting.
Who was bad:
Brad Pitt cannot play an ancient Greek hero. His voice sounds really silly saying these epic lines. Pitt is a decent actor. I really liked him in Spy Game. But I didn't buy him for one second as Achilles. I also remember Achilles in the book as being this burly ugly guy. Achilles should be a burly ugly guy. It makes a lot more sense. And well...Pitt ain't either one of those.
Eric Bana was boring! Why do they keep taming this guy down? He is given nothing memorable to do except die. His wife too, played by the beautiful Saffron Burrows, is also given no dimension to her character. These two are very generic. There's even a scene right before Hector goes out to face Achilles where their tiny baby outacts both of them. I remember the look on the baby's face right after Hector kisses him on the forehead far better than any of Hector's lines. And that's not a good thing.
The person who suffers the most is Orlando Bloom. Yes, he's playing a scum bag. Yes, Paris is a total tool. But the audience laughed the most at him. The lines this guy has been given! No actor could say some of his lines without looking like a total buffoon. I give him props for keeping a straight face. Peterson also gives Bloom a lot of close-ups, which is great cause Bloom is a very handsome guy. But Bloom always looks confused! It's like he didn't know the camera was on half the time and he's waiting for some direction, any direction. Poor guy. In addition, none of his love scenes were very convincing at all. But I don't know, maybe that's because Benioff never bothers explaining why Paris fell in love with Helen in the first place. Paris does have a semi-interesting scene where he grips Hector's leg right after Brendan Gleeson kicks his ass and hands it to him. The boy can look whipped like a champ.
Who made no impression at all:
Diane Kruger
Rose Byrne
The middle schooler playing Patroclus
Julie Christie (What kind of movie gives Julie fucking Christie one five minute scene??)
Nestor and Ajax (Ajax gets one scene before he dies. And I could have sworn that Nestor was played by the same guy who played Electra's father in Daredevil and was the leader of the slaves in Stargate. But he's not. But I could have sworn he was! And how cool is Stargate?)
Who was decent:
Peter O'Toole as Priam. Although he's given some crap lines, at least he's dignified about the whole ordeal. But what's with him dying at the siege of Troy? That's a silly addition.
Brendan Gleeson and Brian Cox. These two guys are too cool for school. Cox is so over the top but it works because Agamemnon is a crazy over the top guy. He sells it. I'm on board. Gleeson is also playing a scum bag and he works it. The audience's favorite scene was Menaleus ripping Paris a new asshole. Who doesn't want to see Paris get his ass handed it to him and Gleeson tackles his role with aplomb. But then he dies. And the fun guy leaves the picture.
And, despite the last review you posted, I really liked Sean Bean as Odysseus. He is given the best line in the whole damn piece ("It is no insult to say that a dead man...is dead."). Moreover, he is not given enough to do by a long shot. He's interesting and calculating and Bean can make any character intriguing. But he just isn't given enough to do. The screenplay doesn't help by never even mentioning Odysseus by name (Are we just supposed to assume? That's the lamest thing imaginable!) and by not even showing his greatest contribution to the war. Yes it shows the Trojan Horse and a short silly scene where Odysseus gets the idea for it. But we never get any sort of pitch. Instead, we awkwardly cut from Hector's funeral ( or somewhere around there I'm not quite sure) to a scene of a man running towards the Trojan gates. On the screen is a title card that says "12 days later". The Trojans then just find the horse on the beach. It's an extremely awkward cut. I wanted to see Odysseus go up to Agamemnon and say "So I got this idea..." I wanted to see a meeting about this. I wanted to hear the ancient Greek version of "It's so crazy it just might work." I wanted to see them build it! That would have been far more interesting than the lagging battle scenes, which played like Helm's Deep only without the emotional resonance. Instead we get diddly squat!
Benioff did not know how to handle an epic. He did not know what this movie was about. We are never given a clear indication of who any of these people are. Despite their buff bods, (And trust me, much naked man flesh is shown. But no butt of Brad. We get beheadings and throat slashings and no butt of Brad. Sigh.) I don't care what happens to these people. And isn't that what good epics do? Make us care about these little people with their ginormous problems and big stories?
I was disappointed. The audience was disappointed. I'm on board with this trend of sword n' sandal epic, but I'm not impressed yet.
If you post this, call me Kaylee Frye.
Thanks!
P.S. The digital tears were painfully obvious. Oy.
Hrmmm... Not very encouraging that one... I hope I disagree... I want this movie to kick my ass, but I guess I'll find out on the 10th when I see the flick. This is Quint signing off.
