Hey folks, Harry here... If there is anyone in the world that is depressed as hell that Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen don't suck in a NEW YORK MINUTE, it's Eli Roth. Why just earlier tonight we were talking about how he had bought his tub of vaseline for the premiere. However, his twin-bagging dream is probably up there with Richard Kelly's cowboy dreams of riding a mighty steed along a mountainside... utterly unattainable. It just could never happen. That'd be like me and a large t-shirt... something, that'll just never fit. Here's a reader that is braver than you or I, but nowhere near as eager as Mr. Roth to see these babies in action. Here you go...

Hey there Harry - long time reader, first time writer... you know the drill.    

Anyhoo, got to see an advance screening of Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen's new flick New York Minute the other day in Los Angeles.  I know: this doesn't necessarily mix with the usual action/sci-fi fanboy lust that gets submitted.  But I figure there's a bunch of people out there who check out your site regularly after going to any of the dozens of sites that count down when the twins turn 18 ('bout two months by my count).  And let's face it - they've been ALL OVER the place the last coupla months, and it's gonna get worse before it gets better.    

I'll admit that I haven't earned any credibility with you or your minions yet - and I may lose any chance at that after this.  But here goes.  My three-word review of the movie... Not Half Bad.    

Okay, not such a ringing endorsement - but the film is better than you expect (if you expect anything at all).    

Don't get me wrong - there's nothing (NOTHING) original here.  If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the movie.  Ten-cent plot: estranged twin sisters overcome obstacles and each other during one wacky day in Manhattan.  In the end (and this isn't really a spoiler since the film's as predictable and formulaic as you think it is) the sisters reconnect with each other and overcome the stresses of the day that forced them into the hijinks.    

In truth - the movie is a hybridized version of two good movies: After Hours and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, with each Olsen taking one of the movies for their story.  Ashley plays the uptight, college bound good girl who really needs to relax - she's our Griffin Dunne in After Hours (Murphy's Law x 10 makes for a long day).  Mary-Kate is the rocker-chick (no, not a typo) slacker type ditching school with a very determined truant officer (a very hammy, but not altogether hilarious Eugene Levy) on her tail: read Ferris Bueller.    

Along with Levy, there's some big name comedy talent along for the ride: Andy Richter, Darrell Hammond and Andrea Martin.  Hammond, especially, plays well.  Richter ain't bad.  Martin ain't bad either.  But no one is really stretching any comedy chops here.    

More than anything - I think the flick is more part of the Olsen girls' attempt to move into mainstream.  And here's the weird part - they'll probably make the jump well.  While there's nothing original, and all the material is safe, people will be pleasantly surprised.  There are a couple of genuinely funny moments, and some truly tender ones as well.  The girls pull it off pretty well - especially the comedy.  I know, I was shocked.  But they're not too bad - I guess when you've been acting since the womb you pick up a thing or two after 18 years.    

Long story, short: Is it worth it?  Oddly enough, probably.  Again, it's mindless, unoriginal and totally predictable.  But it's very earnest.  The girls will probaly get some well-deserved respect from this.     

Basically, it doesn't suck.  And given what many people's expectations were when they heard the Olsens were hitting the big screen, that may just be enough for them to get some street cred.  

If you use this, call me Groover