AICN COMICS! @$$Holes Review SUPERMAN/BATMAN, FANTASTIC FOUR, ABADAZAD, RUNAWAYS, and Vroom

Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Great stuff this week, and I must admit to having stolen Village Idiot’s layout for my own DVD column. As always, a pleasure, guys.

Hey everybody, Village Idiot here.

Let me just take an opportunity to thank you all again for whatever patience and determination it took for you to get this page up. We never know what will be posted the same morning we are; whether it'll be more news about Frank Darabount writing something, another dispatch from a film festival, or God forbid, a STAR WARS or BATMAN tidbit of some kind.

But what we do know is that even if you're tempted to get your movie news elsewhere, AICN is the only place you'll find our inimitable brand of mildly amusing, middle-brow comic reviews. So when you're deciding whether to click that reload button one more time, remember: There is no @$$hole at Dark Horizons.

And now, speaking of reviews...

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Table of Contents
(Click title to go directly to the review)
RUNAWAYS #13
ABADAZAD #2
FANTASTIC FOUR #511
NEGATION WAR #1
THE WALKING DEAD #5
SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8
Cheap Shots!
Tales from the Crevice - CEREBUS, Part V

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RUNAWAYS #13
Writer: Brian K. Vaughan
Penciler: Adrian Alphona
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Sleazy G

Y'know, I don't know what your problem is. I mean, seriously. We've been telling you to buy RUNAWAYS since the beginning. In fact, all of the reviewers and critics have been telling you to buy RUNAWAYS. Hell, the other writers and editors at Marvel have been telling you to buy RUNAWAYS. Everybody who reads this book knows it's one of the best-written books on the market today. A quick glance as the sales figures, though, tells me you guys aren't listening to any of us. Enough already. Brian K. Vaughan has just started the second year of this series with a perfect jumping-on point for new readers, so quit crappin' around and start buying RUNAWAYS. Now.

What? Still here? You guys really don't listen, huh? Fine. We'll go through this again so that you guys can get a better idea what you're missing out on. This is a book that has everything you need in a comic. You've got a secret criminal organization, aliens, black magic, time travel, a pet raptor, action, drama, laughs...there's practically nothing missing. It sounds like so much it could become overwhelming, but the writing is so good that it's always easy to follow and loads of fun.

Here are the basics: there are six kids ranging in age from around seven or eight up to their mid-teens. These six kids come from six different families, and after witnessing their parents commit murder they go on the run. Their parents, being criminals, are more than a little concerned that their children are gone and may know too much. It turns out the parents are far more influential than the kids realized, however, and they're able to manipulate local law enforcement, so the kids have to go to ground. They gradually discover more about their parents, and some of them find they have special abilities, tools or pets. They find a place to hide while they try and figure out how to avoid their parents and put their new discoveries to use fighting crime. They bicker and squabble, they defend each other against outsiders, and they struggle with what they're slowly uncovering about themselves, their families, and their abilities. Unlike some books with large casts, each one of these kids has their own distinct personalities, and Vaughan does a great job of giving each of them the face time they deserve.

In issue 13, Vaughan drops a lot of new information on the kids (and us by extension). It turns out the brains of the operation, Alex, has finally managed to start deciphering the written abstract of their parents' organization, The Pride. It turns out their parents weren't always criminal masterminds; each pair of parents was mystically summoned 20 years ago from completely different walks of life. They were summoned by the Gibborim, mythical evil six-fingered giants who are thousands of years old. The Gibborim are too weak to enact their plan to wipe out humanity and restore the world to the way it was when they still dominated. The Gibborim make an offer to the families: help us regain power and you will be greatly rewarded for the next 25 years, at which time only half a dozen of you will be chosen to survive while the other half perish with the rest of humanity. The kids are shocked to discover, though, that at some point the parents decided they would all sacrifice their chance at survival in favor of having their kids take their places. Vaughan manages to introduce all of these elements into the story with the same deft writing that has made this book a standout from the beginning.

The art has been fantastic on this book from day one as well. The characters are all easily identifiable, the action scenes look great, the coloring is fantastic...there just hasn't been a single badly drawn panel yet. Vaughan's clearly putting the art team through the wringer, asking them to draw interdimensional portals and evil giants and vampires and dinosaurs and...and it seems like no matter what ideas he throws out the art team just nails it. I was especially impressed by the designs on the newly introduced Gibborim. They have a look completely unlike anything else we've seen so far in the title, and it feels right because it helps reinforce their otherworldly nature. The pet raptor is always impressive as well, often drawn with the intelligence you see when your pet dog gives you that questioning head-tilt. The dino can go from cuddly pet to scary attack creature pretty quickly, and the artists always manage to capture that as well. It's a very impressive and appealing book visually.

We've all made the mistake of buying books out of habit even though we're not enjoying them anymore. Maybe it's because the letter X is in the title, or because we've always bought the book and don't want to drop it just because it's been lousy for three or four years. Then we've all sat around and complained about the drop in quality and said we wished there were better books out there. Well, here it is—a Better Book. A fun, exciting, interesting, well-written and drawn book. This is the kind of book we all say we want to read. Pick up a few issues and give RUNAWAYS a shot—you'll suddenly find out why we've all been praising it so highly for 13 issues now. If you can't bring yourself to do it because you can't afford to pick up a new title, then you need to seriously consider dropping that book you haven't been enjoying for a year or two now anyway and replacing it with this one. It's consistently one of the best reads of the month, and I'd hate for any of you to keep missing out on it. I'd also hate to lose this book to low readership, because I'd miss it dearly every month. I find myself reading the last page of every issue and wishing I didn't have to wait four weeks to get more, and that feeling is what hooked me on comics to begin with. RUNAWAYS helps remind me of what the medium is capable of and why I fell in love with it as a kid, and that's something worth working to save.

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ABADAZAD #2
Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Artist: Mike Ploog
Publisher: CrossGen Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant

Back when I was a loveable little urchin of a kid, I made a yearly ritual out of watching THE WIZARD OF OZ when it ran on network TV. These weren't quite pre-VCR days, but they were pre-my-family-buying-a-VCR days, and there was definitely something special about a movie that only aired once a year. Didn't hurt that it was a great movie – visually astounding, a little creepy, and backed by some pretty witty musical numbers to boot. Eventually my fondness for the movie went a step further and I started reading the Oz books. What surprised me then, and what many folks still don't know, is that Frank Baum actually wrote fourteen Oz books between 1900 and 1920. You can even read 'em for free here – thank you public domain, the legal version of file sharing!

Alright, the books were a little girly - I admit it - but the descriptions of beautiful dresses and gemstone cities were pleasantly counterbalanced by creepy villains like the Nome King and moments of fantasy violence as when the Wizard (he eventually learned real magic in the books and was a sort of dapper badass) chopped a vegetable man in two with a sword. Fun stuff, and even when the writing was just so-so, there was always this sense that Baum was writing about a real place. Trippy, very trippy!

This is my long-winded way of saying CrossGen's ABADAZAD is pretty much a perfect fit for my sensibilities. The setting is the magical land of Abadazad, very much an Oz/Wonderland analog (with a touch of LITTLE NEMO IN SLUMBERLAND for good measure), but the approach is such that adults have just as much an entry point as kids. In the previous issue we met our heroine, Kate, a very real young girl dealing with a broken single-parent home and the disappearance several years prior of the younger brother she doted on. He'd always been enraptured with the Abadazad books which Kate read to him, and at the close of issue one Kate learned he might somehow be alive – alive but trapped in the magical world of Abadazad by the villainous Lanky Man. According to the kooky old African American woman living across the way from the apartment where Kate lived with her mother, Abadazad was real, and in her younger days she had been the inspiration for the "Little Martha" who was the star of the books. Of course, Little Martha was described in the books as a white girl with red hair and green eyes – the first of many changes the series' author apparently made to suit the period. Interesting twist!

Issue two picks up with Kate having just magically transported to Abadazad – yep, it's real! - where a younger incarnation of Martha serves as her guide. Of course, Kate's portrayed as a modern, skeptical Gen Y'er, with writer J.M. DeMatteis almost taking her sarcasm to annoying levels. Still, I think its an accurate reflection of real kids in abstract, if not perfectly in idiom. DeMatteis's real talent here is in showcasing the wondrous elements of Abadazad even as he reveals the somewhat menacing elements that didn't make the final cut in the kids' books. We're not talking Philip Jose Farmer adult revisionism here, but imagine if Oz's darker elements were a touch more sinister and its magical elements a bit more sublime – that's Abadazad.

A huge contributor to the overall effect of this book is artist Mike Ploog. Guy's channeling the detailed, illustrative style of ALICE IN WONDERLAND's John Tenniel and OZ's John R. Neill. As with their work, Ploog's art would look gorgeous in pure black and white, but the vivid CrossGen coloring works its gleaming magic ala the Technicolor of the WIZARD OF OZ movie. Love that black and white, but sometimes color is really what you want. Among the most impressive scenes is the ride on the Living Staircase, a sentient platform with the temperament of the FF's Ben Grimm and the ability to unfurl itself thousands of feet into the sky as a giant, twisting staircase. It takes Kate and Martha to the capital of Abadazad, a floating city that looks a little like a baroque version of the spaceship at the end of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. And Ploog's characters are just as impressive, from the three-eyed queen of the realm with her Vishnu-blue skin to the cartoonishly villainous Lanky Man with his six insect-like arms.

Right now, ABADAZAD has posed far more questions than it's answered, but I'm enjoying the whirlwind tour of the kingdom we're getting as we head toward the answers. Part of that tour involves the occasional text page meant to be straight from the original dawn-of-the-20th-century Abadazad books. These are wittily written in the Oz/Wonderland tradition and serve as an artful means of setting the stage for encounters to come. They're typical of the smart planning that's gone into this series, a series I happily recommend to fans of any of the books from which it took inspiration and to anyone looking for a comic for a son or daughter, a younger brother or sister. Kate's coming-of-age story makes ABADAZAD something of an ASTRO CITY tale for the HARRY POTTER set, but there's more than enough straightforward adventuring to appease younger readers too.

Truly all-ages comics – who woulda thunk it?

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FANTASTIC FOUR #511, "Hereafter" Part 3 of 3
Mark Waid - Writer
Mike Wieringo - Pencils
Karl Kesel - Inks
Published by Marvel Comics A JonQuixote Review

God is the perfect poet,
Who in his person acts his own creations.
- Paracelsus (pt. II), Robert Browning

I had the ending of "Hereafter" Part 3 of 3 spoiled for me, much as I'm about to do for you. One of the dangers of spending too much time on the internet before making that weekly trek to the local comic shop. And, as such, upon picking up FANTASTIC FOUR #511, I was inclined not only to dislike this issue, but as to feel greatly disappointed.

And, upon first reading, my expectations were met.

Up until this point, I had been in awe of Waid and Company's run on FANTASTIC FOUR. Frankly, I think we have been seeing not only a landmark FF run, but some of the greatest comic books ever produced. And this 18-issue run that started with "Unthinkable" and ended with "Hereafter" has been nothing if not a true epic. Epic in scope, and epic in journey.

And to end it on a note of metafiction, to end it so pat…

But as I walked away from the issue, I discovered I couldn't escape it. It would not get out of my mind. I reconsidered it, and thought that if the last year or so of FANTASTIC FOUR is as big as stories get, and it is, then what possible bigger ending than the Fantastic Four meeting God? And, if so, what better choice of God for the Fantastic Four?

Honestly, there is none and there is none. And though I'm naturally inclined to dislike metafiction, Reed's journey, the engine that has driven this epic, is concluded before the fourth wall comes crumbling down. And yes, it's pat, but it's also sincere, and it's also time to move on.

Reed, Sue, and Johnny have gone to heaven in order to resurrect Ben Grimm. Something is holding Ben back, and though it's first thought to be Reed's unwillingness to let Ben go, as it turns out that it's Ben, unwilling to abandon his friends. Before the characters get to this realization, there must be catharsis. Reed's arc - Faust by way of Paraclesus – culminates with him finally breaking, and needing to be rescued by the love and friendship of his family. And with that, with Reed realizing that he does not need to be isolated by his role as thinker and scientist, the Four are ready to continue their journey. And do so by meeting God.

Jack Kirby.

And before sending them home, to further adventures unknown, Jack wraps up a few loose ends. And yes, it's pat. But the voyage is over, and it's time to move on to the next one. The rest, really, is just details.

The Creator absolves Reed. He helps the Four understand their purpose. He reminds them that they are in control of their own destinies. And he gives them a souvenir. A beautiful souvenir; one that, if you think about it, provides a perfect ending to what has been a fantastic journey.

It took a little bit of work on my part, and a little bit of faith, but I got it. And it, in turn, got me. The last panel, it got me. And if you're lucky, it will get you too.

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NEGATION WAR #1
Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Paul Pelletier
Inks: Dave Meikis
Publisher: Crossgen Reviewer: Ambush Bug

I have never read an issue of Crossgen's Sigil titles. I've heard the little yellow and orange Ying Yang symbol was a way to make the Crossgen Universe cohesive with histories and path's that crossed, overlapped, and intertwined. I heard a lot of blood, sweat, and tears were applied by the creators behind Crossgen to make it a universe for comic book fans who yearned for strong writing; for those who were sick of all of the fluff that drove these creators away from the Big Two companies. I heard all of this, but I never read a Sigil book and now I'm kind of disappointed that I missed out on it. After reading NEGATION WAR and reviewing ABADAZAD a few weeks back, I have to dub Crossgen as the Lil' Comic Book Company that Could. Despite low sales, canceled titles, and creator evacuations, the company still manages to churn out some rock solid comics.

NEGATION WAR #1 is everything a Marvel and DC comic should be but isn't. It's got world threatening menaces, guys in capes and cowls, team-ups, and all kinds of classic-stylee superheroics. Let me ask you this: When was the last time you read a Marvel comic that had two powerful beings fighting each other with such intensity and force, it destroys an entire city block? Think about it. That type of shit used to happen on a monthly basis, but now Marvel is so ashamed that they are writing about guys wearing spandex that they would rather have them mope around in plain clothes all of the time and tackle real world menaces like Fidel Castro, the Yakuza, and Congress. Well, all of that shit that used to make you run to the comic book store as a kid is in NEGATION WAR. These guys aren't ashamed that they are writing fiction about brightly colored heroes and villains. These guys aren't afraid to intersperse action into every other page of their books. Reading this book reminded why I loved comics in the first place. It had me wishing that I had been reading about these characters from their inception, so that I could be more invested in the story. It had me wishing that the guys running the show at Crossgen would stage a major coup at the Big Two and bring on another Golden Age of Comics for me to enjoy.

But enough with the wishing. In and of itself, NEGATION WAR #1 was an extremely strong read. It had me interested from page one. It's friendly to those who have never picked up a Sigil book (i.e., me) and I'm sure it'll be rewarding for those who have been reading CG from day one. The story is pretty straight forward: A powerful menace, Charon, is decimating his way through the cosmos. His next stop is Earth. His former partner and now foe, Appolyon, has gathered a group of heroes to thwart Charon's plans. Of course, Appolyon isn't that much of a do-gooder himself, so whoever wins, the good guys still lose. Plus Danik, a Trickster God, is causing another set of problems for everyone. This story has layers of evil, fallen heroes, and a group of misfits with a slim chance of hope and salvation. It's the stuff that good adventures are made of. I don't remember reading Tony Bedard's work before, but this guy knows how to tell a big budget story that overflows with superhero goodness.

Paul Pelletier and Dave Meikis' art is another reason I am strongly recommending this book. Crisp, clean, and classically rendered. This art team reminds me of a cross between Alan Davis and John Byrne when they were in their prime. This is how superhero stories should be told; with vivid camera angles, sharp lines, attention to detail, and boundless imagination. This art team could make any story read well. The panels are that dynamic. Fortunately, the story and art are equally top notch here.

I know what you're going to say. A recommendation for a Crossgen book? Whatever man. That shit ain't cool, it's boring. No. That's not boring. Boring is a book filled with non-stop talking heads and pulse-less plot movement where the hero who's name is on the cover doesn't appear until the very last page of the book laying on his ass in plain clothes and balling like a school girl (see last week's DAREDEVIL, or any other recent Marvel book for that matter). NEGATION WAR is comic book storytelling done right. It looks like a comic book, it reads like a comic book, and it got this Crossgen avoidant to take interested in how it's all going to pan out. Sick of Nu pacing, deconstruction, and shamed self awareness? Give NEGATION WAR a try.

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THE WALKING DEAD #5
Writer: Robert Kirkman
Artist: Tony Moore
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant

Just caught the remake of the new DAWN OF THE DEAD last night, and I'm happy for two reasons. I'm happy because it was a pretty damn good zombie shindig in its own right, and I'm happy because it might just point some folks to the best zombie comic ever - THE WALKING DEAD.

What's that? It's the only zombie comic? Well, not quite, but yeah, it's one of the few relatively high profile zombie comics ever produced. Image isn't Marvel or DC, but it's still one of the top four publishers, so don't gimme no guff. The key thing here is that even if there'd been a lot of zombie comics over the years, a book like THE WALKING DEAD would be the holy grail – the only one fans would say is written by the guy who "gets it."

Robert Kirkman gets it. He gets that the zombie apocalypse genre is one of the more surprisingly human horror genres, as much about everyday folks under extraordinary pressures as the juvenile appeal of desiccated corpses shambling about. And we get to know our band of survivors much better in this latest issue. The ragtag group of a dozen gathers around a campfire and, using the patented "round robin" style which you might remember from such films as THE BREAKFAST CLUB, exchanges stories about their lives...before. It's a touch conventional, a touch contrived, but with artist Tony Moore's gorgeous gray tones creating the eerie calm of a nighttime snowfall as each member speaks in turn, I found myself drawn into it. There's our lead, a former cop who's currently in hot water with his wife because he's decided to let their seven year old son carry a gun for protection. There's the young guy who used to deliver pizza, who was up to his ears in debt but would give anything to return to those days now.

And then there's the pudgy old retired salesman with the camper – his wife died during the initial chaos, but he's been sharing his camper with two college age girls he picked up on the road in the post-zombie chaos. Donna, a judgmental battleship of a woman, is sure his intentions are "impure," but he insists their being around and keeping the camper up just reminds him in a small way of how things used to be with his wife. His perpetually melancholy features suggest he's telling the truth, but the question does linger – one of the series many small moral dilemmas.

And, yes, there are zombies in this issue. Kirkman's made the point – and I agree with him – that an ongoing series set in this world needn't be jam-packed with undead throwdowns each and every issue, but man do we get one here. It's unexpected and grisly – a reminder that even though these zombies aren't the predatory runners of 28 DAYS LATER and the DAWN remake, their human prey can still find themselves in a world of shit if they get boxed in.

I have a minor complaint about the lettering on the gunshot sound effects (of which there are many in this issue) – they're a little too "superhero." Specifically the font seems to be derived from Walt Simonson's distinctive style of "THOOM!" sound effects, and it creates a small disconnect for me. Horror needs a sort of purity for maximum impact, but these sound effects speak to the larger-than-life qualities of superhero comics and it's an uneasy mix. Likewise, I noticed a few hokey scream sound effects, including the cornball classic, "yeargh!" when someone got zombie-chomped. Could do without those, and as for the lettering fonts, maybe something less polished and more organic would work better.

But this book is still a helluva package deal. Kirkman and Moore are a muy simpatico team, and these boys give you your money's worth too. The book opens up to four and five-panel pages for action sequences, but many's the page with seven or eight panels, and Kirkman imparts a lot of dialogue and characterization with those panels. This ain't one of those flimsy comics you breeze through in mere two minutes...nosiree, this is a post-Mexican dinner bathroom read, my friends!

And I really don't think I can come up with higher praise than that. Zombie fans, chow down.

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SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8
Written by Jeph Loeb
Art by Micheal Turner
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot

The internet has become so connected with comic reading these days, for a lot of us, it's almost a part of the experience. Comic reading is now interactive: The first part is reading the story, the next is to go online to read and talk about it.

If you go online to read about SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 on one of the gazillion comic message boards, you're bound to find someone complaining about all the untranslated Kryptonian dialog in the issue -- even though there's usually either a full translation or at least a link to one in the very same thread where the person is complaining. Of course, this doesn't do much for the poor guy who lives in the Ozarks and isn't online. I think that the translation is an important part of enjoying the issue, and because he doesn't have access to that translation, his comic simply wasn't as good as mine. And really, on basic principle, with SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8, comics and the internet aren't merely complementary; in a way, the comic is actually dependent on the net. That can't be good, can it?

And yet despite all this, I thought SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 was good; in fact I thought it was pretty great. I thought SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 managed to combine mystery, grand dramatic moments, even pathos, in a book that's bound to warm the cockles sentimental DC hearts everywhere. But what really set SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 apart was the fact that it's practically two book in one, with the untranslated and translated version. I thought this was pretty neat, and made the book something special.

Of course, the issue is already special, or at least notable for bringing back Kara Zor-El, the original Kryptonian cousin of Superman, aka Supergirl. Depending on the point of view, Jeph Loeb should either be lionized or burned in effigy for "bringing back the Silver Age." A month ago it was Luthor's battlesuit (technically from the Bronze Age, but why quibble?), before that it was Krypto, Bizarro, and the Silver Age Krypton. Now it's Kara/Supergirl. But really, even if some elements of the character are the same, Kara was never introduced like this before: Half-naked and going on a rampage through Gotham City. (On the other hand, it's not as though we've never seen anything like this before, that is, the powerful, naked nymph walking through the city, gettin' into trouble: SPLASH, SPECIES, even Tobe Hooper's LIFEFORCE.)

And speaking of naked, that's another topic of conversation around the net: the fact that Supergirl is presented so unclothed. If I thought Kara was presented in a way that was particularly sexual, I'd be agreeing with them. But although Kara flashes a fair amount of skin, I felt the vibe was more pretty than sexy, so I'm more inclined to give it a pass. (I mean it's not like we're talking about high school girl's locker rooms or upskirt shots -- like in Peter David's recent pseudo-revival of Kara in the last few issues of his SUPERGIRL series.)

And Kara wasn't the only thing pretty about the issue. In fact, the whole thing was kinda pretty. I went into this issue without too much experience with Michael Turner, but I'm now getting a sense of his appeal (an appeal that I'll wager drew a lot of people to this issue). His work in this book reminds me a bit of Jim Lee, but then again, my senses may be dulled by the razzmatazz of the shiny paper. And come to think of it, his faces were much more angular than Lee's; Superman's chin is so sharp, you can set your watch by it. Still, everything had a polish to it that reminded me of what I was dealing with on "Hush."

But for me, the most interesting aspect of the issue goes back to the Kryptonian dialog. When you first read SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8, sans translation, you experience the story from only a partially informed perspective. Arguably, we're getting the story from the average human's perspective, or perhaps even Batman's perspective. Kara's a little chatterbox while she's tearing up the city, and she's clearly scared, but we don't know what she's really saying; thus her behavior was a little mysterious. Later in the story, a page is devoted to a Kryptonian conversation between Kara and Superman, (which pays off in English). Perhaps here Loeb is pushing things to their limit. On the other hand, comics are primarily a visual medium, and I don't think for Loeb to ask us to experience that story on that basis for a couple of pages, to read the faces of the characters instead of the dialog, was too much to ask.

After we get the translation, the issue reads from Kara's perspective. We understand a little more clearly why she seemed so aggressive, in fact we feel more acutely sorry for her. And we understand how and why the payoff in the end of the book happened. Again, it's like we get two different comic books for the price of one. This was a neat trick.

Of course, Loeb also included the captions - again. Readers of this column know that Loeb's captions in SUPERMAN/BATMAN have been on the verge of giving me an aneurysm for some time now. Rather than provide effective emotional underpinning, I think these captions relentlessly subvert the action of the story. Argh. SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 seemed to go a little easier on the captions, yet I still felt there were a few instances when they weren't needed (and where they were a little melodramatic to boot). And yet none of it was enough to get me too down on the issue.

So I thought it was a good comic book. And in addition to everything else, I think there's enough of a pre-CRISIS sentimentalist in me who's happy to see the real Supergirl back. Of course, sentiment alone is not enough to make a good comic. Luckily SUPERMAN/BATMAN #8 was fun and interesting enough in it's own right to be worth checking out even if you've never heard of the Silver Age. So check it out.

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Cheap Shots! (Mostly Cormorant edition)

SUPERMAN: SECRET IDENTITY #3 (of 4) - And the best-written Superman comic of the moment is of course...not one of the core Superman books! ASTRO CITY fans, if you're not reading this book, you need to get off your ass and check it out. Busiek's working some of his strongest, most humanistic writing in years with the tale of a "real world" guy whose parents saddled him with the name Clark Kent because they found it charming...only to find himself somehow developing Superman's precise powers later in life. Like Paul Chadwick's masterwork, CONCRETE, the exact how and why of things is far less important than the ensuing stories. This latest issue sees Clark trying to come to terms with a highly suspicious U.S. government, but it's the character moments with his wife that steal the show. - Cormorant

DAREDEVIL #58 - Uh, Mr. Bendis? You write great cop interrogation scenes – we get it. PLEASE DON'T PUT THEM IN EVERY SINGLE COMIC YOU PUT OUT. How many does this make between ALIAS and DAREDEVIL? Six? Eight? Are interrogation scenes the new fight scenes in superhero comics and I didn't get the memo? And Maleev - go a little easier on with the goddamn copy machine, eh? The cameo from vintage Marvel romance character Night Nurse was vaguely amusing, but I think I saw the same picture of her face about FIVE TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF TWO PAGES. The issue gets the barest of passes because the meeting between Ben Urich and Matt Murdock was well-played. And I'm sorry to be so snotty, but if editors aren't gonna call Bendis and company on their stupid bad habits, fandom's gotta get a little nervy. He's not god, folks – just a talented bastard who could be better still. - Cormorant

SILENT HILL #2 - I gave a moderately positive review of the first issue of this series based on the delightfully macabre video game series of the same name. I goofed. It's actually pretty bad. - Cormorant

KISS KISS BANG BANG #3 - C'mon, you've gotta give it up for a book where a hitman cloned from Adolph Hitler attacks with a martial arts strike based on the "Sieg heil!" salute! In other good news, agent Shelley, who was largely victimized in the first issue, has been shown to be an effective badass in subsequent issues (this one included). Better yet, insufferable Bond analog Charles Basildon gets a painful comeuppance. The series at times skirts a little too close to the very material it seeks to subvert, but I remain a fan. Good readin' when you want to get you '60s spy mojo on. Great artwork. Hot chicks. - Cormorant

NEW X-MEN #154 - It's Grant's last issue! I've enjoyed about 80% of his run very much! This last arc falls under the other 20%! Yes, friends, this is precisely the kind of story that the internet shorthand "WTF" was invented for. WTF indeed.

AQUAMAN #16 - In the last issue, the big reveal is that people survived the flooding of San Diego by turning into fish people. In this issue, the big reveal is that people survived the flooding of San Diego by turning into fish people, and that Aquaman resents having to go to the moon for JLA headquarters. Two issues in, and I feel like I'm reading the most stretched out series in the history of comics. I mean come on. - Village Idiot

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Death of an Aardvark: Postmortem

A Tales From the Crevice Special
by Vroom Socko

Well, as of the tenth of this month, it's all over. CEREBUS the comic has seen it's last issue, and Cerebus the character has gone into the light. It's over. He's dead, Jim. It's fitting then, I suppose, that this installment covers the final third of this story, which is when the book actually started dying.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of great stuff in the final hundred, especially in GUYS, the first arc. Following the events of MINDS, Cerebus spends what appears to be decades hanging out in a bar getting drunk with his friend Bear. Sim even pokes fun at himself a bit in one scene, where Cerebus wanders over to talk to a new visitor to the pub. After three READS-like pages of dense dialogue, Cerebus heads back to the bar to listen to Bear tell a dick joke. In fact, all the scene's with Bear are excellent, especially one where he tells Cerebus off. It's one of the most natural moments in the book.

But when Bear isn't around, hoo boy. Part of the problem, for me at least, is Sim's overuse of analogues. When it was just Lord Julius/Groucho Marx, it was one thing. After all, his assistant Baskin was a help in fleshing his character out more. But here, we get characters based on George Harrison and Marty Feldman, among others. Why? Because Sim wants to write a bunch of Marty Feldman gags, apparently. Thank god for Bear.

But soon, even Bear is gone, as Sim gets in some more cheap shots at the collective womanhood. By the beginning of RICK'S STORY it's as if we never left READS, as Jaka's ex husband reenters Cerebus's life. Rick is now writing a book on how women manipulate men, and he seems to be going a bit loopy as well. There's really not much worth discussing in this chapter, except that this is when Sim first starts to go on his religious kick.

Then, in GOING HOME, Cerebus and Jaka are reunited, and set out on a long trip together. This volume, and FORM & VOID after it, illustrate that while these two most definitely love each other, their lives are too different to sustain a relationship. Cerebus is a barbarian, after all, while Jaka is an aristocrat. The thing is, though, that this is nothing we didn't already learn in MINDS. Here, we spend over thirty issues waiting for their inevitable split. It's up to the non-relationship moments to make the story shine, but unfortunately all we gat are more analogues, starting with F. Scott Fitzgerald, then going into Ernest Hemmingway. These volumes are heavily annotated with biographical info on both men. Thorough, yes, but to be perfectly frank if I wanted to read a Hemmingway biography I'd go fucking buy one. Thankfully, that section is saved by the absolutely stunning artwork. While I'd rather be reading a Cerebus book, the story of the Hemmingways trip to Africa looks and feels amazing. Had it been published on it's own…

In any case, those pieces are the last truly great moments in CEREBUS. What follows, LATTER DAYS, is garbage. Overindulgent garbage. It's here that Sim begins his monumental treatise on religion, which is nowhere near as brilliant as his sendup of the politics of religion in CHURCH & STATE. What can you really say about a book that's only bright point is a series of SPAWN gags that are about six years too late, not to mention the jokes about Todd's balls. Those never get old, no siree bob. While there is a pretty good gag at the expense of the Comics Journal, it involves Sim's parody of Ennis's PREACHER, which really only helps to illustrate just how that book's take on religion was superior to this.

By the time this penultimate volume reaches the halfway point, it barely resembles a comic book anymore. With a mass of text shown in the smallest of fonts, not to mention a storyline that's borderline incomprehensible as well as insane, and this comic has now turned into John Doe's journals from the movie SE7EN. This stuff is nuts. I'm talking Unabomber nuts. I read this junk, and I picture Sim establishing his own cult, a la the Branch Davidians. This is before reading yet MORE annotations, where Sim has reams more pages, in even smaller text, to ramble on and on, all the while coming across as a man consumed by paranoia and an overextended sense of self worth.

So that's it then. I have yet to read the entirety of the final twelve issues, but what else can be said. The little gray fucker is dead, and the story that started with a gag, built up with a bang, and collapsed into a brain fart is dead with him. Even so, you have to respect the achievement. Dave Sim spent twenty-six years giving us a monthly dose of CEREBUS. That's the bulk of my lifetime. Hell, it's the bulk of HIS lifetime. Sure, it might have been better for the story (and Sim's mind,) if this had been 250 issues instead of 300, but the man told one of the biggest stories in comics, and he did it on his own terms. Wherever you are right now, (and I can only picture him in one of three places; asleep for the next month, in a karaoke bar singing "My way," or at the highest point in Kitchener with a 30.06,) I salute you Dave. You freaking lunatic.

Question for Discussion

What do you think is the single greatest storytelling achievement in comics?