Hey folks, Harry here - Here's Quint with an eclectic series of reviews on the work in progress screening of SURVIVING EDEN and a ton of stuff about short films. That being said, he's decided to keep a secret out of his attending of Jonathan Demme's panel, where he found out all sorts of useful knowledge which he apparently doesn't feel the need to share... the rat bastard! Here ya go...
Ahoy, squirts. Today was a rainy, asshole of a day... a perfect day to watch movies! Well, it would have been the perfect day to watch movies if everyone wasn't behind schedule and all 40,000 or so badgeholders decided they wanted to see every movie I wanted to see, thus making for fun "stand in the rain" times.
But I did get a lot in today. None of the films I saw were note perfect, but all that I'm talking about here were successes in their own ways. Let's start with The Dink's flick:
SURVIVING EDEN
I didn't know anything about the plot of this, only that the one, the great, the damn living legend Peter Dinklage had a role in the film and that it was directed by Greg Pritikin, who directed DUMMY. I missed DUMMY last year at SXSW and haven't had a chance to give it a go on DVD, so I had no basis to judge whether or not the film was worth getting only 6 hours of sleep for instead of the 8 I was hoping for. I went for The Dink.
And I found a genuinely funny mockumentary. It pokes fun at the instant celebrity given to ordinary schmucks by these reality shows like SURVIVOR and THE REAL WORLD, but goes in a rather unique direction that keeps it from being another riff on the same old material. We never really see any of the show, GARDEN OF EDEN, just meet the contestants before the show, see the winner and how that person's life changes...
The film stars Michael Panes (ANNIVERSARY PARTY) who shares a freakishly uncanny resemblance to Peter Sellers... It's not a "Hmm... he kinda looks..." It's more a "HOLY SHIT! He's not dead!" And he's a good actor! Why the hell Steve Martin is starring in the new PINK PANTHER flick with Sellers's living clone is out in this world, I can not understand.
The performances are good all across the board. The Dink (not a nickname he endorses, I'm sure, but I'll keep calling him that until he shows up one day and beats the hell out of me) damn near steals the film, though. What's great about Peter Dinklage is he's a genuinely good actor whose humor doesn't just come from his size. When The Dink drops out of the film for a solid 20 or so minutes... well, that's where it started to slow down. Cheri Otari is actually really funny. She can be hit and miss on SNL, but at the beginning of the film she had me cracking up. Her character gets kinda old real quick, but she gives it her all and managed to pull some belly-laughs outta me.
The rest of the cast is great... including Jane Lynch (BEST IN SHOW, MIGHTY WIND) and Sam Robards (A.I.) who are the sleazy producers behind the reality show. The bounce off each other with some of the best energy in the film.
Panes plays a super fat introvert who has only two friends in his life: his roommate (The Dink!) and his pig. As a goof, The Dink sends off a tape of Panes humiliating himself and bam... Panes is picked to be a contestant on GARDEN OF EDEN, where he spends 3 months (that we don't see) losing all his weight due to lack of powdered donuts and making it to the final round.
For the first quarter of the film, it is absolutely perfect. The laughs come at a steady pace and you really get drawn into the film. About halfway through the film, though, the brakes are hit and it just kinda idles until the ending. I have to say this was a very early screening, though. The film doesn't have a score in place, final music and is still being tweaked.
As it stands right now, the film is a pretty good movie. If they can tighten it up and somehow give the second half the pacing and non-stop gags of the first half, then this will be a classic mockumentary, up there with the likes of THIS IS SPINAL TAP. I mean... it has The Dink getting attacked by a pig not once, but twice! C'mon! That's comedy gold!
SHORTS
I saw the midnight shorts run at the wonderful Alamo Drafthouse tonight. Some were hits, some were misses, but there were a few that really made me smile, so I thought I'd tell you fine folks about them.
I AM STAMOS
Oh, hell yes. This is what short films are all about. The running time was 17 minutes, but it felt like it went by in about 4. The flick is about a character actor (Robert Peters) who is tired of the bumbling best friend/neighbor roles. At an audition, he tries to read for the lead and gets shot down immediately, told they're looking for a more George Clooney type... Or even a John Stamos type.
That night is Peters's birthday party, attended by a whole slew of character actors (including the always wonderful--Unless directed by Uwe Boll--Clint Howard!)... He blows out the candles wishing that he can become John Stamos... You can guess the rest... Let's just say that the real Stamos isn't too happy by the situation that arises and gets pissed off.
This short was fun, funny and the prime example of what a short film can be: entertaining, fresh, well acted and well shot. A must see!
WALKENTALK
Not as successfully achieved as STAMOS (they would have had to have gotten Walken himself for a cameo to make that happen), but for a Christopher Walken fanatic like myself... well, they pushed the right buttons with me. The short is all about a guy who is obsessed with Walken, to the point where every single word that exits his mouth is a quote from a Walken film or SNL appearance. Shot and shown on BEAUTIFUL FILM, this flick really made me smile. Give it a view if it's playing at a fest near you!
MILTON IS A SHITBAG
The seaman award for best title of the film festival thus far, MILTON IS A SHITBAG is an animated flick produced, written and directed by Courtney Davis about the love/hate relationship between a woman and her evil, Pat Buchanan loving cat. It's only 5 minutes long and well worth your time! Expect to see this one screened at a Spike and Mike's in the near future!
That's it from me, squirts. I have a big day full of Kevin Smith goodness and heroic devil-men fighting HP Lovecraft monstrosities around Prague! I'll be back soon with the good word on that stuff! 'Til that day, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
