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Table of Contents
(Click title to go directly to the review)
AQUAMAN #14
HAWKMAN #23
JUDGMENT DAY (TPB)
THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
PUNISHER #1
FALLEN ANGEL #7
"4"
Cheap Shots!
Tales from the Crevice: DEATH OF AN AARDVARK, PART II
And if any of this doesn't work, don't blame us. Blame SCIENCE!
AQUAMAN #14
Writer: John Ostrander
Penciller: Tom Grummett
Inker: Wade Von Grawbadger
Publisher: DC Comics
Release date: 01/14/04
Reviewer: Sleazy G
Aquaman is a notoriously hard character to write. He’s been the butt of all the jokes in fandom. Hell, even John Belushi ragged on the guy. He’s been done well enough at times, I suppose, but for some reason people find any randomly selected flying dude a lot more interesting than a mighty, ass-kickin’ underwater king...who talks to starfish. Recent writer Rich Veitch helped prove just how hard a character Arthur Curry is to do well with the first 12 issues of Aquaman’s latest relaunch. He proved it by writing a year’s worth of dismally wretched dreck.
I was ready to give up on the series entirely until I heard that Veitch was leaving the series, to be followed by John Ostrander for two issues and H-E-R-O’s Will Pfeifer from then on. I’ve enjoyed Pfeifer’s work over on H-E-R-O, and I’ve long been a fan of John Ostrander. He’s never been known as one of comic’s flashier or more popular writers like the Byrnes and the Claremonts or the Waids or the Loebs. Thing is, he’s *better*. He’s never been a show-off, and he’s never done stuff for the sake of “cool” or to draw attention to himself by doing stories with big, dumb ‘splosions. Everything Ostrander does, he does with class, intelligence and style. He does it in the service of the story and the characters. I seem to remember Ostrander having a theater background here in Chicago, and that pays off when he tells a story. He understands the right way to construct a tale with multiple threads, and he knows how to build tension. He also understands that he’s writing spandex books, and the readers want a little excitement in their stories.
Ostrander’s run on THE SPECTRE was a solid, compelling tale, and a hell of a long run, too. He showed us how The Spectre was meant to be done, and then J.M. DeMatteis showed how it really shouldn’t. In the same way, after a year of Rick Veitch showing us exactly how *not* to do Aquaman, Ostrander came in and showed us exactly how it *should* be done. Seriously, folks, if you don’t have AQUAMAN #13, go back to the store and get it. It has pathos, heroism, and an ending I was honestly shocked to read. We’ve all seen these kinds of stories before, where we get perspective on the hero through the eyes of a civilian. This one, though, is different, as we get to see the pain that results when a hero gives everything they have and still fails. It really put Arthur through the wringer, and the reader along with him. John Ostrander told a better story in that 22 pages than you could stitch together from the entire previous year’s worth of stories.
Then he followed it up with AQUAMAN #14. This one doesn’t show Arthur from just one civilian’s perspective. Instead, we see it from several. This story is a little lighter than its predecessor, but of the same high a quality. It has some heavy moments, but they’re offset by some great laughs, too. The plot device in this issue is a writer tasked to come up with a story about Aquaman for a magazine article. The first place he goes for help is a class full of little kids. Each of the kids has a completely different perspective on who and what Aquaman is, but they’re all right - they just choose to focus on different aspects of him. He then meets with women his own age, including his sister and “the ex”. Turns out “the ex” comes up with a completely BS story about Aquaman just to piss the poor guy off, but he doesn’t take the bait. Instead he talks to a bunch of firemen who have a story about how early on in his career, before anybody knew who Aquaman was or what he could do, he helped them save people from a burning building. It wraps up with the reporter talking to the girl he *should* have dated (and may yet) about her run-in with Aquaman and the trouble he helped her through. This all sounds fairly typical, I’ll grant you. In Ostrander’s hands, though, every single one of these stories served to highlight not just the many different directions this character has been taken over the years, but the way they come together again to form a protagonist we can understand and relate to.
I have to make a point of mentioning the art in this issue. I liked what Grummett and von Grawbadger did all the way through. In particular, though, I was blown away by the artwork near the beginning in the comic-book story drawn by one of the little kids. I actually laughed out loud at every single panel. They nailed what it used to look like when we were young and tried to draw and color our own stories. The huge splash title-page, “Aquaman vs. Octo-man...IN COLOR!” gave me flashbacks to my old coloring books. *This*, my friends, is the kind of comic art I’d love to buy and frame if I had the money. They follow it up on the very next page by drawing some panels in a more “Superfriends” meets Sea-Monkeys style, and then a page of the “Obsidian Age” Arthur-wave. These pages, with their rapid style changes and overall lightness, are a delightful balance for the heavier moments that come later, (although the book ends on a hopeful note).
I’m really excited to see John Ostrander back in the DCU. He’s a consistently strong, entertaining writer who takes the development of the characters seriously. It would be a wonderful thing if these two issues got him more work at DC. I write a lot of negative reviews here, so I’m asking you folks to take notice here. Help the writer, the book and the character by buying AQUAMAN #13 and #14. You’ll get to read two damned good stories in the process.
HAWKMAN #23
Geoff Johns - Writer
Rags Morales - Penciller
Michael Bair - Inker
Published by DC Comics
Release Date - 01/14/04
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Way back in JLA #74, the last page featured a fairly busy group shot of the villains, with a large Golem-like character holding up a battered and bloody Flash. "Oh, well, there's Flash," I thought to myself, and went on my merry way. It wasn't until I got online and found people on message boards talking about that last page that I found out that Flash's legs had been torn off. I went back and sure enough, there was Flash, sans legs. In fairness to me, the inker, Tom Nguyen, had made the comment that he hadn't noticed that Flash's legs were missing until he had to ink that part of the picture (which may say something about the quality of the picture in the first place), but I swore I'd never miss another comic book dismemberment again.
Well, I'm sad to report that I missed another one. It wasn't until I REread HAWKMAN #23 a few minutes ago that I realized that at a certain point, Hawkman actually chops the villain's arm off. I can remember being a little confused when I first read it by the squish Hawkman made as he approached the character (he was walking through his blood), but it wasn't until I gave the whole scene full attention and really looked at a particular panel that I figured out what had happened. Of course, the panel where the arm is revealed is heavily shadowed, and as with JLA, it was tricky to catch. I'm telling you, it's not my fault.
So now, let me take this opportunity to appeal to DC to make all future appendage severances as clear as possible. I mean, if you go to the trouble of including a scene as shocking and graphic as the loss of a limb, you might as well go for it. We want to see your severed arms and legs. We want to see your chopped-off heads. But mainly, we just want to know what's happening in your comic books, and we'd rather not have to find out about it later from some guy named Zillagod37.
Sillyness aside, I think HAWKMAN #23 was really an issue of JSA. Which is actually okay, because I like JSA.
The JSA gang have all decided to meet in St. Roch during what appears to be Mardi Gras, even though St. Roch is neither New Orleans or Rio de Janeiro. As they wander through their little night out on the town, we get a glimpse into the characters and their subplots, including Hourman struggling to hold back his addictive personality, and Power Girl struggling to hold back her breasts. By the end of the issue, the JSA have been alerted to the exploits of Black Adam and his team which took place in JSA #53 (BA and friends mopped the floor with DC's latest Iraq proxy). The JSA are on the case! -- but not without some internal power-struggles on the horizon.
Again, this was really an issue of JSA, with the relationships among this family of superheroes taking center stage. Nice to see some follow through on some story threads, including acknowledging the disturbing aspect of having Captain Marvel, who appears as a full-grown man, courting the teenage Stargirl. Other vignettes may not have gone down so well; for example, there was something about Dr. Mid-Nite saving the prostitute from her killer pimp which felt a little too easy. But the thing about these "character moment" issues is that if one vignette isn't working, another one will come down the pike that will. And if you're a JSA fan, and you've lived with these characters for a while, there comes a point where you simply enjoy being around them. Kudos to Geoff Johns (and the departed James Robinson) for creating that kind of loyalty.
But the really stand-out aspect of this issue for me was Rags Morales. Despite my taking three paragraphs to gripe about the fact I couldn't discern something from the art in the issue, I really did like the art in the issue. Morales has a dark shading and texture to his work that kinda reminds me of "comix" and the work of guys like R. Crumb. A really terrific feel to what he's doing; a lot of personality. This is one of those times where I'm going to suggest that the next time you're in the comic store, you pick up the issue and at least look at the art to see what I'm talking about. I loved it.
Well, except maybe for Power Girl. My fellow reviewer Ambush Bug was a big fan of PG in this issue, a HUGE fan, but when the gal starts looking like Chyna, I have to get off the bus. In fact, there almost seems to be a disturbing trend at DC to make all the buxom women look like linebackers. (Over at JLA, Wonder Woman's been looking positively anabolic.) So let me take this opportunity to appeal to DC to stop making their women so muscular. Just stop it. Fit is good, we like fit. But the shoulders on PG in this issue? Come on.
Remember DC, less muscle-bound women and clearer dismemberment. Is that really so much to ask?
JUDGEMENT DAY (TPB)
Writer: Alan Moore
Artist: Rob Liefeld
Contributing Artists: Too Long To List
Published by: Checker Book Publishing Group
Release date: 1/14/2004
Reviewed by: superninja
The funny thing about reading Alan Moore's take on these Image characters is that you can clearly see the early incarnations of his storytelling style that would eventually define his America's Best Comics line. Specifically, Alan Moore's inclination to see ancient gods and heroes, pulp adventurers and superheroes, all as a part of the cosmic tapestry of mythmaking.
I'm sure all of you love and remember Youngblood: filled with characters already strangely familiar, but ya just couldn't put your finger on it! You know, Shaft (the poor man's Hawkeye), Sentinel (the poor man's Iron Man), Vogue (the poor woman's Black Widow)…ugly costumes all. Before Image fell apart and before Awesome Entertainment brought Moore in to attempt to resurrect them, these characters were blatant rip-offs and always have been. There is nothing particularly special about them, but to give credit where it's due, Moore always finds something interesting say about them. As in his revision of the Supreme character (out now in a trade titled Supreme: The Return) he manages to take a character that's a swipe (let's just use Superman, for an example) and turn it into something unexpected and imaginative. But that's Alan Moore for you. Which is why I picked up Judgement Day.
This collection is a series of Youngblood stories (and a few short stories tagged on at the end) where Alan Moore tries to work his magic. I say tries, because Youngblood are not archetypes like Supreme or Glory. So Moore has to make these characters fit into the larger framework of another one of his engaging, time tripping stories. In this case, a superhero murder that results in a superhero on trial. It's unsuccessful as a Youngblood story, but quite interesting on its own.
Alan Moore's character Promethea, being many things, is in part about the gift of language and the written word to allow the imagination to be freed from the realm of the mind and to have power in the here and now. That's what's Judgement Day is in a nutshell. Sure, it's dressed up like a superhero trial, but at its heart it's the story of a Book that was given to man by a god during pre-history. Passing its way from Conan to Tarzan, from the Lone Ranger to Nick Fury and his Howlin' Commandos, from hand to hand at times, bringing with it both curses and blessings up into the present. It's what made Eve take a bite from the apple in the Garden of Eden; it's something terrifying and amazing all at once and a temptation to those whose hands it passes through. What's interesting about this story is how Moore brings together all of these myths and legends and weaves them up to the present to solve the superhero murder mystery. Amusingly, Moore even uses the Book to explain the superhero deconstruction wave all the while pulling the past into the present.
I can't finish this review without mentioning the art. As humorous as I find Liefeld's art (“Find the nose!”, “Where did her foot go?” and “Hide the cantaloupes!” are all diverting games…), his art really isn't terribly distracting here. Some of the collaborators include Steve Skroce, Chris Sprouse, Dan Jurgens, Ian Churchill and Keith Giffen. Whether you like all of these artists or not, there is a wide variety to be found in Judgement Day and some of it damn fine stuff.
If you like Alan Moore and if you want to see the early building blocks of ABC, it's worth checking out.
THE BOOK OF BUNNY SUICIDES
(Little Fluffy Rabbits Who Just Don’t Want to Live Anymore)
By Andy Riley
Plume Books / Penguin publishing
Reviewed by Lizzybeth
Okay, when I look at a bunny rabbit, generally I’m not imagining ways that they could die. But I’m not Andy Riley. Andy Riley not only envisions a couple dozen variations of bunny death, he envisions ways for them to off themselves, should they decide to end it all. Why a cute, fluffy bunny should have a death wish is not addressed here - maybe they’re in bunny adolescence (a delicate couple of weeks), or they just can’t face another year of presidential campaigns, I don’t know. All I know is, this book is nothing at all but pages and pages of bunny massacre, and it’s very, very wrong, and very, very funny.
Please don’t call the ASPCA. I like rabbits, really. I just can’t help giggling at these simple little white cartoon bunnies with brilliantly deadpan faces scheming their way into death and dismemberment like demented little Bugs Bunnys. The methods range from the simple and direct (sitting below a wobbly stalagmite) to ridiculously complicated Wile E. Coyote plots. There’s death by bottle opener, death by space shuttle, death by Leaning Tower of Piza, death by Nazis, and my favorite, death by Galaga. Riley’s mix of the deeply silly and the deeply disturbed is reminiscent of, yes, The Far Side, along with the aforementioned Warner Brothers tradition of convoluted injuries. His cartooning shows great promise; the guy can really set up a gag, and his drawings are simple but capable, and of course, funny. The concept does wear a little thin by the end of this 80+ page booklet, but you can’t beat it as a coffee table book. You can test your friends - not by whether they laugh, but how guilty they look when they do.
PUNISHER #1
Writer: Garth Ennis
Pencils: Lewis Larosa
Inks: Tom Palmer
Publisher: Marvel MAX
Released: 1/14/04
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Well, slap my monkey! I honestly can’t believe I am writing this review. When I picked up the first issue of the MAX version of THE PUNISHER, I was expecting more of the same shit that I have come to expect from the Marvel version of Garth Ennis. Since I’ve began reviewing for the @$$Holes, I’ve been pretty hard on Garth and his take on the Judge, Jury, and Executioner of the Marvel U. I pleaded with Garth to retire from the book here. I called him a mongoloid monkey with syphilis here. And just a few weeks ago, I gave the book another Cheap Shot to the groin here.
I was at the end of my rope, hating every single page Ennis wrote about a character that, on one hand, is admittedly not the deepest character in comics, but on the other hand, is a character nonetheless and has the potential to be written well, if in fact, the writer actually gives a shit about the character. By the end of the last PUNISHER series, I was convinced that Garth in fact couldn’t give a half a shit about the character and merely wanted a fat paycheck and an outlet to shat forth bad dialog, piss poor plots, and vacant characterization. I knew Garth was better than what I was reading in THE PUNISHER from month to month. PREACHER, HITMAN, GODDESS, PRIDE & JOY, UNKNOWN SOLDIER, and DEMON were all testament to this. When I picked up the first issue of Marvel MAX’s latest series, I was preparing myself for the same old shit. But like I said before, albeit less eloquently, I was totally surprised at what I saw.
In this issue, Garth Ennis actually writes a story about the Punisher, from the Punisher’s perspective, respecting the Punisher’s character and the Punisher’s history, and makes it an entertaining Punisher story without succumbing the lowest form of gross-out humor that ran rampant throughout the last Punisher series! Okay, I may have used a few too many Punisher’s in that last sentence, but gimme a break, I’m frikkin’ excited! Finally, we get to see Garth tackle Frank Castle with a bit of depth. Sure there is a lot of blood, guts, and grue. I don’t mind that. Never did. But when it’s played solely for laughs and shock value, it wears pretty thin. It definitely was worn thin in the previous series. The carnage that takes place in this issue is very real. Through the Punisher’s eyes, we see the gory death of his wife and children. We see why he does what he does. Then we see him do it. Eventually, we do see Ennis’ trademark panels with noses and arms blown off in a melee of bullets and explosives, but the action never feels like a cartoon. This is a grim world that the Punisher doles out his form of justice in and Garth handles it perfectly.
My positive reaction to this book may have a lot to do with the art. Ennis’s artistic standbys John McCrea and Steve Dillon have their strengths, but they also cannot help themselves from veering towards the realm of caricature and satirical art. As much as I like these artists, I feel that their art takes away from the serious themes of the Punisher’s world. The art team of Lewis Larosa and Tom Palmer is different. There is tangible terror in Frank’s daughter’s eyes, utter dismay and confusion in the faces of the Punisher’s victims, and cold, dead hatred seething from every shot of Frank Castle. There isn’t one funny bit in the intense shots as the Punisher storms the mob boss’ party. I’m glad there isn’t. The Punisher is an anti-hero. His actions shouldn’t be laughed at. He’s doing terrible things because terrible things were done to him. This is an interesting concept to explore, but too often in recent years, the horror of this violence has been overshadowed by comedy. Instead of responsibly dealing with a book that centers around a homicidal killer and the ramifications and outcomes that come from this violence, Marvel and Ennis made the violence a joke; reveling in the variety with which death comes and forgetting that this is a medium that is very influential to its readers (at least it was when I was growing up and reading comics). I’m glad Marvel and Ennis seem to have realized this may not be the most responsible message to send out to their readers and the violence is depicted in a more serious fashion in this issue. This art is not the most beautiful or poetic or detailed, and it shouldn’t be. Larosa and Palmer draw a bleak, dark world highlighted with blood and explosions. The perfect type of art to visualize Frank’s world.
Another thing that really kicked my ass was the fact that this was a damn near perfect and proper way to start a series. There’s an introduction which not only allows those who don’t know the character to get a little back story, but also keeps those of us who have read the Punisher for years entertained as well. Then there’s an ultra-violent action scene that flows seamlessly from the intro. Something actually happens in this issue. And the main character does it. And it’s a Marvel book (believe me, I checked the cover a few times as I read it to make sure). This was the first Marvel intro issue that I have read in a long time that did not feel as if it were paced solely for trade. To top it all off, this standalone story offers tiny tidbits in the middle and at the end which tease the reader to come back for more next issue. I’m not going to reveal the surprise guest star at the end, but I will say that he’s a person from the Punisher’s past, he should be dead, and Garth better have a damn good reason behind his apparent resurrection. I know continuity is not king at MARVEL MAX, but I hope this good start to this series isn’t ruined for me by having Garth totally ignore the death of this integral character in the Punisher’s history.
Having read the last PUNISHER series, I never thought I’d be recommending this new one. Who’da thought Garth would’ve done this much of a turn around in one month. And I might be proven wrong. Who knows? Garth may be back with transvestite Russian bodybuilders and Wolverine-bashing in the next issue. But as long as Garth stays on the path he started with this new MAX series, he’s got a fan in me. The thing is, I’ve always been a fan; a fan who always knew that Garth could write the Punisher better than the crap from the previous series. In PUNISHER #1, Garth proved me right.
FALLEN ANGEL #7
Writer: Peter David
Artist: David Lopez
Publisher: DC Comics
Release Date: 1/14/04
Reviewed by Cormorant
Peter David’s gothic Casablanca, FALLEN ANGEL, opened strong with the first two issues devoted to punchy, self contained stories. Characters established, mysteries begun, pump primed. Issues three through six marked the first extended story, a grisly affair involving a powerful demonic entity taking up residence in Bete Noir and...err...making women explode in gory chunks. A solid journey, I thought, with many an excellent moment, but a dissatisfying conclusion. The precise nature of the creature was revealed only in the broadest generalities, and our heroine’s means of dispatching it was utterly confusing to this reader.
Of the few criticisms I’ve heard levied against FALLEN ANGEL, the “too much ambiguity” one is finally starting to seem valid too me. It was absolutely a hook for me initially, and I still like the slow-burn revelations about Lee - the titular “Fallen Angel - and the town of Bete Noir, described by one character as “the city that shapes the world.” The problem is that there’s too much ambiguity going around for the reader to quite become attached to anything or anyone. The atmosphere, the individual “bits,” and the rogues gallery of characters have easily managed to maintain my interest, but as a new arc dawns with issue #7, I find my patience with the big mysteries finally being tested.
The story opens with a flashback: Lee’s first confrontation with her villainous opposite in Bete Noir - “Black Mariah.” If the name means anything beyond a reference to the character’s ethnicity (she is black), it’s gone over my head. Based on a quick Google search, I’ve determined that “black mariah” is a card game similar to hearts, the name of a Tom Waits song, a fat drug-peddling villainess from an old issue of LUKE CAGE, HERO FOR HIRE, and a kind of throwing dart.
Hunh.
In FALLEN ANGEL, though, she’s an attractive black woman who, like many of the shadowy players in Bete Noir, is involved in some kind of bad business - precise nature unknown. What we do know is that she shares a sort of smart-ass pleasure in going about her badness (we see her enjoy killing a potentially traitorous underling in the flashback), and that she has some sort of power to burn people with just the touch of her hands (that’s how she offs him).
From past issues, we know that driving Black Mariah from Bete Noir was the act that put Lee on the map in the city, and that Mariah quietly made her way back during the previous arc. I like the character. She’s cool and confident, and she actually seems to care for her lover, a beefy Brit (or is he an Aussie?) who works for the city’s vice lord, Dr. Juris. Love is always redemptive, even when the character in question is a murderess, and given that Lee seems to love no one - even her sexual partner, who happens to be Juris himself - I find myself actually liking Black Mariah over our eternally moody and distant lead. Intentional on David’s part? Not sure, but it’s interesting.
So: we see the pair come to blows in the flashback, Mariah scarring Lee’s arms and in doing so explaining one of the book’s smaller mysteries (the ninja-style straps Lee wears on her forearms). Jumping to the present, we get a curious scene of Lee’s “day job” - women’s soccer coach at the local community college - where, as in past issues, she does a pretty poor job of playing den mother to her girls. I really can’t tell what David’s playing at in showing her awkwardness and insensitivity in dispensing advice. Lee’s morals are always cloudy, her successes never clear-cut, but to get down to brass tacks: what’s the point? These are interesting scenes in and of themselves, but if we’re meant to see a theme developing (beyond, say, “it’s a harsh world”) or some sort of meta-context to all this...well, let’s just say I could use the Cliff Notes right now.
The meat of the issue’s plot involves a quid pro quo deal Black Mariah offers Lee. It relates to a mysterious ancient relic from Lee’s unchronicled first adventure in Bete Noir, and while there’s some ruthless fisticuffs over it and a double-cross or two, I hit the last page of the issue understanding little about its nature or why I should be emotionally invested in the conflict.
It’s frustrating to say the least, because up until recent issues I was having a ball with the book’s “no status quo” status quo. I love a mystery, even a persistent one, but if there’s one thing I learned in wasting a year and a half reading Bruce Jones’ X-FILES-themed INCREDIBLE HULK, it’s that I need some goddamn answers doled out periodically. I still love the rogues gallery of characters in FALLEN ANGEL, from the refined and oddly sentimental Dr. Juris to pidgin-English-speaking drug dealer Asia Minor to Black Mariah herself. I like the dark atmosphere. I like the unflinching, somewhat lurid depictions of sex and violence. I like the concept that Bete Noir is some sort of metaphysical seismograph to the world. I like the confident, mildly stylized art of David Lopez, vaguely reminiscent of Argentinean artists like Eduardo Risso and Leandro Fernandez. I like that Lee, the Fallen Angel, wears a blood-red cloak when she’s in action, suggestive of a pulp hero on the order of The Shadow. And I still like that Hitler, a man all but synonymous with evil, is both bartender and father figure for Lee.
I like all of these things, but if David continues to hold readers at a distance from the true nature of his characters and the enticing city he’s built for them, I’m not sure if I can continue to like this book.
“4”
Written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
Illustration by Steve McNiven
Reviewed by The Comedian
Release Date 2/11/04
“Realism.” We’ve had that term rammed down our collective throats by Marvel as an excuse for shoddy, half-assed story telling for three years now, haven’t we? Iconic costumes have been ditched for hipster leather jackets. Wings have been removed from heads. Entire issues have been wasted on conversations about who would play whom in a movie and on supporting characters visiting psychiatrists. Worst of all we’ve had to consume a lot of sensationalist, bastardized, shock value dribble hiding behind the cop-out of realism. The very oxymoron of the “realistic superhero book” has been debated on message board, in comic shops and in these very talkbacks time and again. All of this for the most part was blamed on a meandering, outsider, exhibitionist jackass who’d taken over the House of Ideas and was despised by the readers in a manner reminiscent of the hatred the fat kids in “Heavyweights” had for Ben Stiller. But that era is thankfully over.
“4” is a prime example of the “new” realism that’s becoming prominent with the post-Jemas Marvel. In “4” the FF are essentially being written as real people with real problems but without all of the glitz and shock value pandering to the lowest common denominator. The issue starts off with a birthday party for Franklin with a goofy out-of-place cameo by Marvel’s poster boy for all their fucked up previous attempts at realism in all his chainmailed, wing-headed glory. The rest of the issue is about the FF finding out that they’ve been ripped off by their embezzling accountant and forced to go out and find real jobs. I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s actually very well written except for the annoying narration that ends each character moment. “Reed Richards. Mr. Fantastic. Brilliant Scientist. Intrepid Explorer. Stay-at-home dad?” Yeech. The characterizations are true to their roots unlike previous “realistic” takes on icons. Aguirre-Sacasa keeps the FF true to who they are. By putting them up against these real life problems he brings new levels to these characters and they shine all the brighter in this context. His Johnny Storm is tired of not being taken seriously but still too much of a spoiled, ego-crazed brat to do anything about it. The scenes with Sue in particular work well to this effect. I’m guessing that what he’s going for is the original Lee/Kirby feel for these characters as real people.
The only problem is with all these realistic problems and situations there's not much time for actual super-heroism. It’s kind of the opposite of the old school where the heroes would try to be doing something normal and then Ultron or Magneto would crash their softball game or Arcade would ruin Colossus and Nightcrawler’s double date. This kind of storytelling has the real life stuff interrupting the adventure. Between this and Morales’ Captain America (which I like and think is a big step in the right direction but damnit, I need to see Cap actually fighting someone), Marvel Knights is slowly turning into the “Guys who stand around and talk” imprint. I guess they’re taking a page from the success that Bendis had with this formula on Daredevil. I just don’t know if I can read a whole issue about Spiderman having to pay his light bill.
Still, with Waid writing what some say is the definitive Reed Richards in the regular book and Millar and Bendis ironically enough turning the FF into the Power Pack of the Ultimate Universe, this book has just as much of a right to be on the shelves. And speaking as someone who’s never really been all that into the FF and all its overlapping fantasy elements of the three, it’s the one book I’d actually consider picking up every month.
Cheap Shots!
CAPTAIN AMERICA #22 (1/14/04) Not great, not horrible. Morales at least isn't making Cap a whiner but I think the whole political nature of the story is suspect as it's obvious where Morales' politics lie. MODOK and the Serpent Society can't show up fast enough! - superninja
BLACK HOLE #11 (1/14/04) Another year, another issue of BLACK HOLE. This being the next-to-last issue, perhaps now isn’t the best time to use a new cover motif and logo... but that’s the only thing to criticize about this book, even for an @$$hole. Tiny plot recap: a sexually transmitted plague strikes an average ‘70s town, rapidly infecting the teenage population with spontaneous and groteque mutations such as tails, scales and extra eyes. Infected teens form an outcast subgroup in the town’s outskirts, shunned by friends and families, fumbling with drugs and living arrangements, and mysteriously gunned down by one of their own. Definately not a teen sex romp; more of an anti-nostalgic kick in the gut. Still, there’s something touching about the attachments formed here, the way the kids attempt to take care of each other in the midst of creeping horror. Charles Burns’ incredible inks more than justify picking up this book. Sure, you could wait for the collection, and it’s sure to be a good one, but you could be waiting another year for the trade. 11/12ths of the series is already on the shelves, and every issue's a keeper. Check this thing out. - Lizzybeth
SUPERMAN: SECRET IDENTITY #1 (1/14/04) It started out really great and by the end was just good. A solid read, but nothing to crow about. It sort of feels like Busiek gave up something special about this concept too early, but I'm sure he'll make the other installments interesting. I'm a little disappointed, but in a good way. - superninja
IRON WOK JAN does it again. I always tell myself they have to run out of ideas eventually, but this issue was another fun ride. And this time, I went out and had Chinese after reading it. No spring rolls, though. - superninja
HOW LOATHSOME #4 (9/24/03) Nooooooooooooo! The last issue? But I just found this book! It’s the only goth comic out there that’s actually good! It finally puts Ted Naifeh’s striking character work to good use! And instead of being about vampires and fairies and voodoo girls and magic, it’s about their real-world equivalents: drug addicts, rent boys, drag queens, and the people who love them! Of course, this kinky underground travelogue was for grown-ups only (you must be this tall to ride - does the idea of tranny-chasers, heroin-addled club-hoppers and various sexual misadventures leave you curled up in a corner sucking on your thumb, and not in the good way? Then do not enter!) and so perhaps is not built to last in the same way as, say, COURTNEY CRUMRIN. Still, this series was so refreshingly different and startlingly humane that it put other so-called “mature audiences” comics to shame. More please! - Lizzybeth
1602 #6 (1/14/04) I thought Gaiman was being a little long-winded and vague in building upon the story in earlier issues of this series. In this issue, the real payoff of all of that setup begins, and it's exciting, adventurous stuff (including a twist I never expected). I'm glad that I've stuck with this series, instead of letting my ADD take over and abandoning it. Gaiman dealing out the story in small doses and building to a storm has worked its magic on me, but I can't help but think that it will read much better collected and that it should've been a trade to begin with. - superninja
INCREDIBLE HULK #65 (1/14/04) - What can I say about this series that I haven't said before? It's still God awful. Remember how successful clones were in Spider-Man a few years back in MAXIMUM CLONAGE? Apparently, writer Bruce Jones doesn't because there are more clones in this book than you can shake a gamma-irradiated stick at. Once again, Jones counteracts each and every thing we believe to be true with another counteraction. No one knows the truth. No one knows what's going on. All of a sudden Banner clones are trying to rape people. No one knows which Hulk is in this book (Stupid Hulk? Banner-Hulk? Clown-Hulk?). And guess what? NO ONE CARES! Why does Marvel continue to punish us with Jones' HULK month after month? Did Quesada lose a bet or something? One positive thing about this book: After four months, they finally spelled Doc Samson right in the intro page. Way-ta-go, Axel Alonso! - Ambush Bug
TEEN TITANS #7 (1/14/04) Okay issue. However, I really liked the generation gap stuff between Clark and Conner. I've never cared for Superboy, but Geoff Johns has made him extremely likeable to me and he feels like a teenager trying to come to grips with his own identity. Actually, they all have at times, but this issue it's Superboy's turn. - superninja
NIGHTWING #89 (1/14/04) - Billed as the most shocking single issue published this year! This issue may not live up to that hype, but it was pretty good. In two issues, Blockbuster has destroyed every aspect of Nightwing's life. Last issue, he burned down the circus that Dick grew up in, and in this issue, he takes care of the rest of his life. In this new storyline, Nightwing's life is the stuff that bad country songs are made of. All he needs now is for someone to run over his dog. Barbara Gordon dumped him. He was fired from his job as a police officer. And now the events of this issue make it so that Dick's life as he knew it is gone forever. Devin Grayson always said she wanted to write NIGHTWING. After a relatively slow start, this series has really picked up in the last few issues and it doesn't look like the pace is slowing with the promise of a rematch with Nightwing's arch-nemesis, Shrike, in the next issue. Patrick Zircher and Andy Owens supply surprisingly phenomenal art. - Ambush Bug
GOTHAM CENTRAL #15 (1/14/04) This is one of the best Joker stories to come down the pike in a long time, and he gets pumped full of lead at the end, not just thrown into Arkham after taunting Batman for the 100th time. A smartly written issue and the artist did a fantastic job with the Joker - particularly on that first page. You can just feel the evil emanating from him in that panel. - superninja
Death of an Aardvark II: The Quickening
A Tales From the Crevice Special by Vroom Socko
Welcome to part two of my obituary for Cerebus the Aardvark, the massive 300-issue achievement by writer/artist Dave Sim. Part One is right here, for those of you that missed it. In this installment, we have the 1,200 plus page behemoth story arc called Church & State. Taking on such topics as religion, politics, and the politics of religion, this is where Cerebus really takes off as a narrative.
C&S begins with Cerebus putting together a book on the fundamentals of governing, written in the style of Og Mandino by way of Attila the Hun. His work is soon interrupted, unfortunately, by the return of the Bug. Now calling himself Wolveroach, he regales us with his brand-new-never-before-revealed-origin, then vanishes and returns with an even-newer-never-before-revealed-this-time-it’s-for-real-origin. And somehow it all manages to make more sense than the actual “origins” given to Marvel’s favorite cash cow.
Once Cerebus rids himself of the Roach, he finds an even bigger obstacle in his way: President Weisshaupt. Thanks to a plot involving Red Sophia (and her very frightening mother), Weisshaupt has reduced the position of Prime Minister of Iest to little more than a figurehead, forcing Cerebus to act as his puppet. This results in one pissed off aardvark, not to mention a hilarious sight gag involving his pants.
The new powers of the President soon bring Weisshaupt into conflict with the Church of Tarim, who see themselves as the true leaders of Iest. The current head of the church, Bishop Powers, intends to circumvent the power base of the President through the selection of a new Pope, one who can be manipulated yet still be seen as a man of the people.
Guess who becomes the new pontiff?
Cerebus, it turns out, is a lifelong orthodox Tarimite, who sees the position of Pope as the height of personal power. Forsaking both Powers and Weisshaupt, he moves into a small hotel on the mountainside of Iest. There, he begins preaching a sermon akin to the work of Oral Roberts, demanding that everyone in the city-state surrender their gold to him in two weeks time, or else Tarim will destroy the world.
This section is one of my favorites, introducing the characters of Boobah and Bear, two mercenary friends from Cerebus’ days in the army. We are also introduced to Gerhard, Sim’s new artistic partner. These two just gel together perfectly, especially in the dream sequence seen near the end of volume one. This dream is strikingly beautiful, innovative, complex, and above all haunting.
Then there’s the return of Jaka. Goddamn. This section is so filled with loving despair, with angst, that it’s almost a thing of beauty. Their conversation is raw pain personified. These two want to be together, but that possibility is destroyed by his position and power and her recent marriage to a man she cares for but doesn’t quite love. Cerebus is a right bastard, certainly, but when Jaka leaves you just can’t help but feel sorry for the little fucker. The look on his face as he waves goodbye is just heartbreaking.
But then we move into volume two, and the shit really starts to hit the fan. The Roach returns as the Secret Sacred Wars Roach, who quickly starts talking to himself a la Frank Miller’s Dark Knight. It was funny back when that perspective on superheroes was new, and now that it’s a cliché it’s even funnier. There’s also the first glimpse of socialite stoners Mick and Keef, and the return of several familiar faces from the barbarian stories.
But the bulk of volume two is taken up by two events. The first is the arrest and trial of Astoria. Charging her with treason and blasphemy, Cerebus himself stands in judgment over his former benefactor. It’s during this scene that both Pope and prisoner are subjected to a series of visions, echoes actually, of the same trial set in another era with similar participants. This is when the phrase “something fell” shows up, words that Sim uses both here and later on as shorthand for “you think you know what’s going on, but I’m about to turn everything on it’s head, as well as fuck with yours.” What the something is, or how or why it fell, is never really touched on, and is in fact one of the more interesting sources of debate among Cerebus fans.
The second major event in volume two occurs when Cerebus, with the help of Weisshaupt and Bob Burden’s Flaming Carrot, ascends into the heavens. Expecting to meet with Tarim himself, Cerebus instead finds himself on the surface of the moon. There the Judge, a strange cross between the Watcher and Judge Crater, greets him. The Judge then gives him a lecture on the history of the universe, the arrogance of man, and tells Cerebus his fate before sending him back to Earth. Much of what the Judge says will eventually become the groundwork for the text pieces in Reads, where it’s revealed that the Judge is either misleading Cerebus or doesn’t know as much as he thinks.
Taking up over 60 issues, Church & State is the granddaddy of story arcs. It features some amazing twists and turns, astonishing art, and pitch perfect storytelling.
Except…
There’s one moment that feels more than a bit off. In fact, it’s quite disgusting. After Astoria is arrested, there’s a section where Cerebus is interrogating her in private. After some verbal sparring, Astoria begins to tease the pope a bit. Cerebus responds by gagging and blindfolding her. Then he rapes her.
Now, I don’t think that rape is something that shouldn’t be shown or discussed in comics, but neither do I think that it should be treated lightly. That our “hero” rapes Astoria doesn’t disgust me, but her response does. While she is being treated to the most damaging abuse known, (physically, mentally and emotionally), all she can think is, “I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.” As if having every fiber of your body violated is comparable to showing up at a formal dinner in the same dress as the hostess. The real sick part, however, involves the origins of Astoria’s character. You see, she was based on Sim’s wife Deni, who divorced him about a year or so before Astoria was assaulted. Make of that what you will.
This is, of course, a sign of things to come. However, it’s only a small part of this otherwise amazing, thought provoking arc. The next section, though, is where Cerebus reaches its creative zenith, with the absolutely amazing one-two punch of Jaka’s Story and Melmoth. Until then, here’s the…
Question For Discussion:
What comic do you think has made the best use of religious themes?
