Hey folks, Harry here... I've noticed in many of the stories we've posted, that there was a large amount of unfamiliarity with the HELLBOY comics. So, instead of illustrating Mr Beaks' report with pictures we've all seen on HELLBOY the movie, I'm gonna provide clickable images of Mignola's books that can help educate you for this upcoming comic-film event. Meanwhile, be sure to also check out Smilin' Jack Ruby's HELLBOY report on CHUD while you're at it! Here's Beaks...
More than Vincent, more than One, more than Angel de la Guardia, Ron Perlman was born to bellow, “Aw, crap.”
After watching a good bit of HELLBOY the other day, this was my first note to its director, Guillermo Del Toro, who, when he’s not performing cinematic oral on Herr Knowles, is currently putting the finishing touches on one of the most ambitious studio comic book adaptation to date. And while many have scoffed at the idea of Ron Perlman headlining a $60 million mini-event flick, he carries this sucker with a heretofore unseen mixture of badass brio and eager, boyish charm. His Hellboy is a lovelorn teenager packed into the body of He-Man. Sure, we knew he had the requisite physiognomy for the role, but I don’t think anyone was expecting a performance this nuanced.
This is just one of the many surprises in store from del Toro and company. What’s most impressive is how I walked out of the post facilities buzzing off the high of heartfelt character interaction rather than reduce-a-city-block-to-rubble set pieces. This is partly because del Toro withheld a lot of the major action sequences due to unfinished f/x (though I did successfully badger him to show me the spectacular pre-credit set-up taken from “Seed of Destruction” – more on that later), but it’s mostly due to how perfectly he’s captured the emotionally fragile Hellboy, the worn down Liz Sherman (the never-better, and future Mrs. Beaks, Selma Blair) and the dorky, but likeable FBI Agent, John T. Myers (Rupert Evans). They’re all human in a very tangible sense, and we cling to them in the midst of this dire, supernatural whirlwind.
The first sequence shown to me was Myers arrival at the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) headquarters, which begins with an amusing lead-in from Dr. Tom Manning’s (a sublimely flustered Jeffrey Tambor) appearance on a talk show where he’s been forced, once again, to debunk rumors of Hellboy’s existence after yet another, unapproved topside jaunt by the big red guy. Before Myers descends into the freakish universe of the BPRD, he’s just like the rest of the world, secure in his belief that Hellboy is little more than folklore kin to Bigfoot and the Yeti. His mind is swiftly blown, then, by his introduction to Professor Broom (John Hurt), head of the Bureau, and keeper of freaks like the erudite psychic man-fish, Abe Sapien (body of Doug Jones, voiced by David Hyde Pierce). After a brief introduction to the rotten egg eating Sapien, Myers is taken to meet his charge, Hellboy, who has been “grounded” by Broom for his latest unauthorized excursion.
Myers is suitably shocked to discover that Hellboy actually exists, but his awe is deftly undercut by the humorous manner in which del Toro depicts big red’s messy, cat-cluttered (the guy’s got a thing for cats) living quarters. Hellboy is immediately suspicious of Myers, who certainly doesn’t help his cause by staring at Hellboy’s horns (which are filed-down in a poignantly futile attempt to better fit in with normal society); however, a pair of Baby Ruth bars helps smooth things over, and Hellboy begrudgingly accepts Myers as his chaperone.
Getting back to the horn issue, this is a subtly effective way into Hellboy’s torment at his inability to join Liz, for whom he’s long harbored a painful crush, in the world outside of the BPRD compound. Though she will forever be “cursed” with her pyrokinetic powers, Liz can, at the very least, suppress them to a degree that will allow her to mingle unbeknownst with the rest of society. It’s in the context of this doomed romance that Hellboy’s obsession with his horns becomes all the more heartbreaking, and it’s handled with such sweet-natured nuance by del Toro that it really stays with you. Brian Singer has flirted with this kind of agonized, outcast resonance in his X-MEN movies, but he’s often limited by the unwieldy size of his cast. Though del Toro is also juggling his share of characters, he’s far more adroit at nailing those grace notes that deepen the experience beyond that of just another pulpy thrill ride.
Enough with this obsessing on sissy character development. The most pertinent question is: does HELLBOY bring the pain? Um, yes. Big time. Like Ray Lewis on Super Bowl Sunday when his team isn’t playing. Hellboy’s first mission requires him to take down a hellbeast known as Sammael, a real nasty bugger who, before tangling with our hero, makes a raw meal out of four police officers. As in the comic book, Hellboy cracks wise with the creature, offering to talk through their differences in a peaceful manner before proceeding to wreck shop with his impossibly high-caliber pistol. Of course, Hellboy gets a little too cocky, and, after turning his back on the downed beast, Abe informs him that this is a demon of resurrection. “Aw, crap.”
The proceeding melee ends up stretching from a museum to a busy city street (it’s here we see that spectacular shot of Hellboy flipping that SUV with a well-placed fist to the hood – “Red means stop!”) to a subway track, where Hellboy ends up on the business end of a speeding train. It’s an exquisitely staged piece of sustained mayhem, and it’s just an appetizer for the destruction to come (later in the film, Hellboy and another demon will lay waste to an entire train station; sadly, I didn’t get to see this). Eventually, Hellboy’s carelessness will draw the ire of Manning, who will demand that the big guy be kept under wraps for good.
Meanwhile, Liz returns to the fold after an incendiary mishap at her hospital, which brightens Hellboy’s mood until Myers begins to hit it off with his lady love. This leads to a wonderfully comic sequence that finds an insanely jealous Hellboy stalking Liz and Myers throughout the city, hopping from building to building with his trademark inelegance, and inadvertently drawing the attention of a little boy, who serves him cookies and milk as if he’s a Satanic Santa Claus, while they eavesdrop on a couple of dangerous “spies”.
And what of the bad guys? Rasputin (Karel Roden) and, in particular, Kroenen are a deliciously nasty one-two punch of devil worshipping, Nazi villainy. They’re both nicely set-up in the pre-credit sequence on that Scottish Isle during WWII, where U.S. troops, acting on intelligence from a young Broom, storm their demon summoning ceremony, consigning Rasputin to his portal to the underworld. Rasputin will later be resurrected by his blond Nazi lover (named Ilsa, of course), while Kroenen will become a decaying corpse kept alive by an intricate, clock-like machine that serves as his metallic (and, as we see later, bulletproof) exoskeleton. Kroenen is also outfitted with a pair of retractable blades that spring out from either arm (for my eight fellow HUDSON HAWK fans out there, think Alfred). Though Rasputin ably provides the menace, it’s Kroenen who does the real damage. His climactic set-to with Hellboy was, chronologically, the last scene shown to me by del Toro, and it’s a real fucking bruiser of a duel.
Much of the fun of HELLBOY is watching our hero take some unbelievably devastating licks before dishing out his counterpunches tenfold, but what sets it apart is our affection for this Hell-sent outcast. This is all established at the opening, where Broom’s priestly compassion compels him to spare the damned creature, and raise him as his own son. It helps that the baby Hellboy is, despite his innate grotesqueness, a real cutie, but it’s the idea that this beast, despite its evil origin, can aspire to and attain a nobler purpose. It’s his touching father-son relationship with Broom, his unlikely friendship with Myers, and, most of all, his unrequited love for Liz Sherman that imbues him with the unshakable conviction that right must be done.
And if a building or two has to be leveled in the process, so be it.
HELLBOY will open, and own your existence, on April 2nd, 2004. Thanks to Guillermo del Toro for his generosity, and to Smilin’ Jack Ruby for bein’ a pal.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
Ok... Officially - if Guillermo had stopped the film where he did for Beaks, I'd punch him, cuz Beaks didn't see any of the cool stuff! I mean, that's just the warm up. Guess, El Futuro Flaco is trying to keep a lid on the parts where this thing ramps up to being bigger than anything this report has even hinted at. Poor Beaks, he's gonna have geek blue balls for months!
