Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
My vacation led to this one sitting on the shelf collecting dust... my fault entirely. And that’s a shame, cause there’s some great stuff here this week. Dig in, and we’ll have another column in the next few days...
Cormorant here! Last week, we @$$holes tested out our new "Cheap Shots" feature – Lilliputian reviews and editorial comments that weren't quite substantive enough to build full reviews around, but that we wanted to blab about anyway. Seems like it went over well, and obviously we're horny for the concept. I mean, just look at the section this week – there's fifteen o' them bastards! Consider 'em desert, though, and hold off on them until after the full-review entrees have been served. We begin tonight's meal with an offering from Jon Quixote, the comic review equivalent of…umm…a burrito. A Canadian burrito.
SPIDER-MAN/DOCTOR OCTOPUS: NEGATIVE EXPOSURE #1 (of 5)
Written by Brian K. Vaughan
Pencils by Staz Johnson; Inks by Danny Miki
Published by Marvel Comics
A Jon Quixote snapshot.
There’s a fight in this book. An actual superhero versus his arch-nemesis slugfest. Doc Ock is robbing a museum, Spider-Man shows up, they fight, and at the end, Doc Ock gets sent to jail. All in one issue. And it’s only issue #1.
Are they allowed to do that?
Shouldn’t Ock be in jail when the book starts, so he can stare out of his cell menacingly for three or four issues, and, y’know, build anticipation? But he’s right there, at the beginning of the issue, doing stuff! Shouldn’t Spider-Man, er sorry, shouldn’t Peter Parker sit around and have some angst before he’s allowed to put on his suit? Twelve pages in and suddenly he’s in the spandex and a page or two later, he’s fighting? And not fighting his angst, like a good superhero, but actually punching! And what happened to the speech, the speech Ock is supposed to give, where he draws things out so that Spidey only shows up on the last page. Then we’d know, oh-ho, the real reason we bought this issue is ‘cause next issue, or possibly the one after that, is going to kick some serious ass! I refuse to believe they just ran out of ways to stall and had to get to the action …HELLO, they’re called splash pages! Throw one of those puppies in every three pages or so and badda-bing, badda-boom before you know it, your 22 pages are gone faster than your scholarship money on a Vegas trip. But noooooooooooo, they actually have panels, and at the end, where Doc Ock actually says something menacing and foreboding, it only takes up a third of the page! WTF? Don’t these guys know when something says or does or thinks something important, it needs a splash page? How the heck are we supposed to know it’s important?
Well, at least Doc Ock is drawn to look like Penn (or is it Teller? The fat one). This book is crazy enough as it is without me knowing what celebrities would play the characters in the movie.
But as topsy-turvy as this comic is, I have to admit…I think I kind of like it!
You know how you read a comic book, and then you buy the next one, and the next one, and so on because you want to see something actually happen, and if you give up waiting after two or five issues, you’re just a schmuck who has flushed his money on a bunch of nothing? Well, I read this comic and things happened, so you’d think I would hit the end and go, well that’s that, no reason to buy anymore, I’m all full up with happenin’.
No, I’m buying the next issue because I want to see what happens…next!
I know, I know…I’m freakin’ out over here too.
Oh oh oh, and get this: There’s this new character, right? And he’s a photographer and he works with Peter Parker at the Bugle, but he’s jealous ‘cause Peter gets all these great Spider-Man pictures and buddy gets squat all the time, and…
…and that’s it. That’s all I really know. I don’t know what his childhood was like. I don’t know who his parents are. I don’t know why he became a photographer. I don’t know how he started working at the Bugle. There’s, like, all this stuff I don’t know about him. And now you’re thinking, “that’s what Issue #1’s are for.” I can meet this guy, find out everything I need to know about him, and then we can get the story started.
Nope! We just meet this guy when BAM! Plot kicks off, without so much of a mention of what sort of DVD's he likes, or when he had his first kiss. It’s like here’s this guy, andHereComesTheStory!!!!!!!
The craziest part: I was able to still tell what was going on! I wasn’t lost or nothing. I kept up! I even kind of liked this new character guy, and felt a little sorry for him. I don’t know if I should…I mean, who is this guy? He could be a pederast or a cokehead or something. And yet, here I am, kind of liking him and kind of sympathizing with him.
I don’t know how that makes me feel. But I betcha you’re starting to freak out like I am.
Buddy, it gets crazier.
Okay, say you’re writing a comic book, and you want to show your character’s character - what he’s feeling, what makes him tick, etc. What do you do…? You have him talk about it, right? You sit him down with his best friend or his girlfriend and then he can “say” what you want him to say, talk about himself and, y’know, what’s giving him angst right now. And then the reader can read that and see that the character is Happy, or the character is Angry, or the character is Having Angst. And then, once you’ve adequately “characterized”, if you have pages left, and it’s not too early in the arc, you can close with a fight or something.
Okay, remember that fight I told you about? I’m sure you’re thinking, “oh well if this is a fighting book, I guess we ain’t gonna have any character stuff.” But brace yourself: while they’re fighting…we’re also getting character stuff!
EEEEEEEEEK!!!
There’s like this weird dynamic going on between Spidey & Ock, where Ock’s playing the Peter Parker role and Spidey’s playing the Flash Thompson role, and we can see that Ock sees Spidey as the same sort of bully that Spidey hates. So it’s like, they’re the same, but they’re different, and we get into Ock’s head a little bit and see his angst, and we get into Spidey’s head and see how he’s able to use his understanding of Ock/Himself in order to get the advantage, and…it’s like all happening during a fight scene, and…
I dunno, man. I’m still seeing spots over here. But you gotta check it out for yourself. It’s crazy. The whole damn book is crazy!
Who knew comics could do this sort of thing?
BORN #1-4
Words by Garth Ennis
Pictures by Darrick Robertson
Reviewed by The Comedian
You know there was a pretty harrowing tale to be told with the origin of The Punisher. What could twist a man’s soul so black that he ceases to be human, that he would become a lifeless, hollow killing machine? Now this may sound like a shot in the dark, but maybe seeing his wife and kids mowed down by some low-level goombah creeps in Central Park in broad daylight would do the trick, right? It worked for Charles Bronson. That kind of loss could easily push someone over the edge to the point where (as my friend and colleague Ambush Bug suggested) every bullet, every glob of lead pumped into creep after creep would have the name of one of his children carved into it and no matter how much human garbage he removes from the face of the earth there’d be no filling of that hollow, empty void. The transformation from a guy with everything he thought he ever wanted to Death’s clean-up man - that would make for great human tragedy, you’d think.
Instead we got an okay Vietnam war story about a sociopath who in the end either makes a pact with the Grim Reaper himself or, far worse, subconsciously actually puts his wife and two children in harm's way on purpose to fulfill some delusional self-evolution fantasy.
Originally I was planning on giving this mini-series an overall good review because I was just beside myself to finally be reading a serious Punisher story from Garth Ennis - no crazed cartoon violence, idiotic supporting characters, hermaphroditic cyborgs or cabbie crime lords seemingly pulled from the collective consciousness of a homeroom full of twelve-year-olds on Ritalin. What made me take a step back was when I realized that I still walked away from this mini with no greater insight into Frank Castle beyond the notion that he was a psycho way before that fateful day in the park. That cockamamie “deal with death” plot point at the end just seemed tacked on. Ennis got so lost in the jungles of Vietnam with poor Stevie Goodwin and his junkie buddy Angel that he forgot to tell the tale he was supposed to be spinning in the first place. Sure, Stevie Goodwin going off to heaven on the wings of a big bird full of hot stewardesses and cold, cold beer was easily one of the most memorable panels we’ve seen in some time, but Frank Castle was for the most part little more than a supporting character in his own origin.
Some day maybe someone will do something interesting to make me care about this character again. Till then we’ll have to settle for “Jason Voorhees in Kevlar.” Still, I don’t think I’d want to read a monthly book about a nut that’d rather mow down purse-snatchers with an Uzi than watch his children grow up. In a “realistic” world those guys usually blow their own brains out anyway.
CHANGERS #2 (of 2)
Ezra Claytan Daniels
Dream Chocolate Confections
reviewed by: Lizzybeth
It’s strange how seldom you see real science fiction in comics today. It’s true that most comics are genre titles, and genre elements like aliens and clones are a mainstream staple, but the vast majority of series are Earth-bound and adventure-oriented. Many of the most successful projects in comics have been on the fantasy end of the spectrum, and the standard superhero comic of today, although it could easily be played either way, tends towards the mystical rather than the molecular. (See also: Star Wars) Gamma rays, energy beams, and super-powers are evoked like magic spells, and the characters tend to follow Campbell’s hero path even when ostensibly scientists themselves. I have no idea why this would be - is it just more fun to draw elves, vampires and wonder women?
Aside from the occasional robot, I don’t see much sci-fi around. Which is probably why CHANGERS seems so startlingly fresh.
CHANGERS hinges on one of the old sci-fi standards: time travel. But it’s not playing by the same rules of the time-travel stories I’ve seen, and consequently isn’t as tired. Geaza and Bizzo are time travelers visiting the near-present from the peak of human society – not decades into the future, not centuries into the future, but a few million years into the future. They've been sent back to do what every other science fiction story tells us not to do – muck around with the past. You see, although human society has changed considerably by the era of our protagonists (and there are a number of fascinating prose inserts detailing some of what’s happened in the interim) it seems to have reached a plateau. All of the great achievements were made long ago, and nothing new has presented itself under the sun for a considerable length of time. What’s more, while Earth’s other creatures have modified their physical and intellectual characteristics through the millennia to adapt to the world the humans have bent to their will, humankind stopped evolving long ago. Having used technology for so long rather than relying on instinct and physical capabilities to survive, the species itself has reached a sort of stasis, while watching their neighbors (felines, for example) slowly catch up. Their restless drive to achieve thwarted, Earth’s most brilliant scientists have devised a plan for the ultimate achievement – to remake humankind entirely. Geaza and Bisso, although they look much like humans do today, have been specifically engineered to make subtle alterations to their environment throughout their lifespan in the 21st century. The changes they bring will be quickly spread through the crowded population of this era, kicking off a gradual modification of the human genome to produce the next iteration of homo sapiens. Sort of like a do-it-yourself X-Men. These changes will allow humans to continue to evolve indefinitely, and assure the survival of Earth’s societies for all time.
At least, that was the plan.
The first volume of CHANGERS introduces us to Geaza and Bisso, who are adapting to life in the 21st century. Living in the United States, they claim to be from Greenland – a country that no one seems to know much about. In this way they can explain away their strange names, accents, and behaviors, even though it’s almost unnecessary. They have been carefully prepared for every eventuality, and soon have assimilated themselves.
Soon they meet another time-traveler, who comes from the alternate future created by their presence in this century. At first they are thrilled by his appearance, as it indicates the success of their mission. Oscar (as he is redubbed) seems a peaceful, pleasant creature, and is in awe of Bisso and Geaza who he knows to be his creators. But he describes for them a future thrown into chaos by a sudden onslaught of random physical mutations, a hundred-year period known as the Nightmare Century that collapsed all recognizable human civilization. Oscar’s people escaped into the ocean, where they developed an aquatic civilization completely alien to the humans’ experience. Bisso and Geaza begin to argue, wondering if their mission should be continued in light of the pain and destruction they will cause. But it’s not that simple – they can’t just change their minds now. They have no way to return to their own time, and the only way to cancel out the chemical process they were designed to complete is for both of them to die before a full life-span has elapsed. And even if they were to do that, it would mean that Oscar, who they have come to like, and his people will never have a chance to exist.
It’s a complicated premise that unfolds in a thoughtful and lively way, so unique in its execution that I’m inclined to forgive any weaknesses of its plot. Like the first volume, CHANGERS #2 (“Our Obligation to the Future”) is a small 95-page volume with a green-and-white color scheme. The green ink doesn’t interfere with readability; it actually gives the book a very distinctive, and attractive, look. With its non-traditional panel shapes and prose interludes, reading CHANGERS is a consistently engaging experience. As much as I admire the look of this comic, it’s true that the page layout needs some work. I like the jigsaw variation of the panels, but it’s not worth the dead space inserted to make the pieces fit. At first Daniels utilizes this space to insert narrative details such as the time and location, which is a cool idea, but by the second volume he’s dispensed with this habit almost entirely and the green blocks are just sitting there. The second volume is not as strong as the first and does not pick up on some of the plot lines that intrigued me previously (the “mystery organ” episode, for example). “Evolution is Our Right" covered the exposition so well that volume two can only embroider the details of Daniels’ future-verse while pushing the plot along. Still, the plot does move briskly and leads to an unexpected but fair conclusion that inspired me to read back through both volumes again. I encourage all of you sci-fi junkies to give CHANGERS a try; there just aren’t enough comics like it.
Books 1 and 2 of CHANGERS are available for order from Dream Chocolate, where there is also a preview. It’s available through Diamond as well, so if you don’t like internet ordering you can always ask your local shop to get this one in.
ALIAS #27
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Michael Gaydos
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Sleazy G.
Wow. I mean, if you’ve been reading this book, then you already know, but yeah. Wow.
It’s just that Jessica Jones has been through so much already, y’know? I mean, it’s only been a couple years since we met her, but…damn, she just can’t catch a break. Seriously. She’s just had one thing, I mean, one bad thing after another, and…it’s just really really shitty. She really tried so hard for so long to just fucking forget about all the crap she went through when she was a superhero for like a goddamn month and a half or whatever. And instead of letting her move on, all anybody ever does is keep bringing it up, and…I mean, do you know what that does to somebody? To go through that constantly? When all you want to do is fucking move on with your fucking life?
It’s bad enough when it’s just the spandex set, right? I mean, working for Matt Murdock, and running to Luke Cage whenever she’s fucked up about something, and being friends with Carol Danvers (although I’m not always sure “friend” is the word), it just throws it all back in her face. I mean, they’re all doing it, y’know? Being successful heroes, and inspiring people, and they’re okay with it. And she tried, she really did, but she just…she just didn’t have it (whatever “it” is), what it took, or at least she didn’t think she did, and that’s kinda the same thing, really.
And then, as if that isn’t bad enough, there’s all these people. And they’re all victims, really, just like Jessica is. I mean, not like “Today on ‘Oprah’” kind of victims, but real victims. Victims of The Purple Man, who’s a complete bastard, and no, he’s not dead anymore, because his daughter accidentally brought him back to life. So they ask her to help them, because they know she had a run-in with him, and they figure she’ll be motivated by that, I guess. Well that doesn’t really work out so well at first, ‘cause it turns out he’s the one who really broke Jessica. I mean, really broke her and left her the self-destructive mess that she is now. But finally Jessica realizes this might be a chance for her to get some closure, and she can’t really tell these people “no,” and so she goes to see him in prison. It doesn’t go too well, though, ‘cause he’s such a vile piece of shit that he just refuses to help even one of these people deal with what he did.
The thing is, though, is that out of all this shit in her life, all this complete bullshit, there’s been one good thing that happened, and that’s Scott. Scott Lang, you know? The other Ant Man. Great guy. The best. He’s been perfect for Jessica, really, exactly what she needed. He’s just always there for her when she’s losing it. And he’s calm, and he’s supportive, and he’s just so...so…centered, I guess (god, that just sounds so cornball) and it’s the only thing that’s worked for her in so long. And now, for this to happen, I mean, FUCK. It’s just so fucking…so…I mean…(huuhh)…I just…I don’t know what to say. It’s just, holy shit, y’know? I still can’t fucking believe it. Seriously. I mean, I CAN’T believe it. It can’t be real. Not with, like, one issue left. To have the series just end next month, and with this happening, it’s just so goddamn wrong, and…I just…I really, really need it to not be this. It’s a dream sequence, or it’s mind control, or it’s a nightmare, or some other goddamned thing. It has to be. Because I like Jessica Jones (I really do) and I just don’t know now. With all the crap she’s been through, she’s already so close to breaking, and she had to work so hard for so long just to get to where she is, and now…I mean, how is she supposed to get through this? It’s too…it’s just, it’s too fucking much. Just please let it be something else, for Jessica’s sake, but don’t let it end like this.
NEW X-MEN #147
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Phil Jimenez
Inker: Andy Lanning
Colors: Chris Chuckry
Reviewed by: superninja
I didn’t expect this to follow the last issue.
Without revealing too much of the events that take place here, I will say this - it definitely grabbed my attention - leaving me uneasy and more than a little disgusted. To be up front, I haven’t been bowled over by Morrison’s work on New X-Men. While some people view his take on 30+ years of continuity as exciting and fresh, I tend to think "psychedelic and ambiguous."
So as Morrison nears the end of his run on New X-Men (with #154) we get Part 2 of his 'Planet X' storyline, which I’ll let Morrison describe in his own words:
"'Planet X' is my dissolution of the classic X-Men dialectic…" (You can read the rest of the interview here which also includes a short retrospective of the run and hints on his last arc - thanks to Sleazy for the link.)
That classic dialectic of course being Xavier’s MLK, Jr. to Magneto’s Malcolm X and their differing worldviews. This seems to be Morrison’s final say on the subject and one thing you know for sure with Morrison is that he never does anything by halves.
Based on discussing this book with some of my fellow @$$holes, I think reaction to this issue might depend on whether or not one believes Magneto redeemable. I grew up reading a Magneto that was deeply conflicted, trying to reconcile his own hatred and arrogance with the possibility of accepting Xavier's dream. And I have a fondness for that "spark of hope" version of Magneto, which is why this issue upset me. But, that's not Morrison's New X-Men, which often operates on shock factor.
Here Morrison focuses on Magneto taken to his Ultimatized extreme - a last battle where Magneto is a killing machine fueled by the designer drug Kick and backed by a new Brotherhood. This includes Toad and members of Xavier’s School for the Gifted, including the Stepford sister Esme and other members of Xorn’s class (in case you live under a moon rock, Xorn was revealed to be Magneto in the last issue). With Morrison writing, of course, Magneto gets to say interesting things like, “It's Magneto! 'Erik' is the name our oppressors gave me!” and "Brother Mutants. The great day has come." (Don’t miss next issue when Magneto sports a purple dashiki and lectures at Cornell!)
I haven’t read Morrison’s ‘E For Extinction,’ in which the Mutant homeland of Genosha was destroyed by sentinels. My bud Sleazy suggests that Magneto is retaliating for the destruction of Genosha. Perhaps, but there is something more unsettling to me in Magneto making the final transition in becoming that which he hates. That danger has always been there with the character, but it is disturbing to see it finally taken there. For me, it's an ending to the character. He's no longer redeemable.
Phil Jimenez does some impressive visual work here that goes above and beyond in rendering the destructive force of Magneto. I’ve really enjoyed Phil's work on this story arc. The new costumes are fun: Magneto sports his movie costume, the Toad is redesigned, Angel looks like Pam Grier, and Esme appears to have raided Paris Hilton's closet.
So what's next? The obvious confrontation coming between the missing X-Men and Magneto and the Brotherhood. I am curious about it for a single reason. All of the readers have thought this character dead and now Morrison brings him back in the most horrific incarnation possible. I wonder, in the end, if it will have resonance or if this is just another of Morrison's excesses?
DETECTIVE COMICS #787
Writer: Brian K. Vaughan
Pencils: Rick Burchett
Inks: John Lowe
Publisher: DC COMICS
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
The Mad Hatter was always my favorite Batman villain. There isn’t another foe in Batman’s rogue’s gallery that has the untapped potential that this foe has. Lewis Carroll’s stories of Alice and her trip through Wonderland have always struck a chord with me. Carroll painted a world dripping with illogic and lunacy, filled with scores of bizarre characters — characters who are just waiting to be depicted in Batman’s dark world where lunacy and reality collide. Loeb and Sale’s MADNESS one-shot featuring a First Year Batman’s race against time to save a young Barbara Gordon from the Mad Hatter goes down as one of my all-time favorite Batman stories. You may understand, then, my bit-chomping to read uber-talented Vertigo/Tsunami writer, Brian K. Vaughan’s story pitting these two adversaries against one another.
Issue #787, titled “Mimsy Were the Borogoves,” was a mixed bag of “ehh” and “hmm” with a big ol’ “wow” at the end. I knew from reading Vaughan’s previous stories for DC and Marvel, that we were not going to get your typical Batman story. But as I flipped through the pages, an all-too typical Batman story is exactly what I read. Sure there were interesting moments like when Batman faced a stubborn doctor at Arkham Asylum who wouldn't let him in to investigate the Mad Hatter’s cell, but this story read like your average BATMAN ADVENTURES issue or BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES TV episode. The clues were a little obvious, the twists were a little convenient, and the way Batman figured out the mystery was a little contrived. It would seem that Vaughan was a fan of that series and the TV show, because he makes sure to wrap up this story with a little bow in the end. The day’s been saved, the Hatter has been captured, roll credits.
But look a little deeper into the looking glass, my little TalkBackers. Below the surface, there is actually a poignant tale of madness and understanding. I knew the writer of Y: THE LAST MAN and RUNAWAYS wouldn’t fail to please. Let me lift my online reviewing mask slightly for a moment and reveal that by day, I am in the helping profession (we @$$Holes have to pay the bills somehow). I work with people who, in the comic book world, might habituate at Arkham Asylum. There was a time when psychologists, therapists, and counselors would sit behind large oak desks on their high-horse and judge their clients from afar, but that is not the case in this day and age. Today, the key word is understanding. One must understand where the client is coming from in order to help them through their problems because, in a lot of ways, you can’t truly help someone without seeing the world through his or her eyes. And that’s what this story is all about. Issue #787 uses the typical BATMAN ANIMATED SERIES format that has been used time and time again, but makes it meaningful. It may not depict shrinking spousal abuse or rampaging radioactive rapists (that seems to be what the kiddies like these days), but it is a tale that forces the main character and the reader to understand and even sympathize with these insane and extreme characters that haunt Gotham, these people who so often receive a fist to the face instead of an ounce of understanding.
One detraction from this truly thought-provoking story was the art. I like Rick Burchett’s art in the context of cartoony animated adaptations for comics, but I think this story would have had more heft to it had it been drawn in a more realistic fashion. The Mad Hatter, who has gone through more appearance changes than Michael Jackson, looks particularly goofy in this issue. I would have preferred the more diabolical version of the Hatter from the Tim Sale sketched cover of this book. Burchett’s version failed to impress me with his buffoon-ish looks and cartoony movements. It could be argued that both the writer and the artist wanted to lure the reader in with a more straightforward, cartoony direction and then really pop them with a moral that means much more in the end. In some ways, Burchett’s style compliments the innocent, yet misguided, motifs of the Hatter. But I think that, too often, this type of art isn’t taken seriously and may cause people to overlook a story like this with the misunderstanding that it's a light and fluffy tale. It’s not. It may look like a cartoon, but after reading this issue, no one can accuse this story of being light and fluffy.
The back up feature is part three of “Dogcatcher,” an interesting little tale written by Rick Spears with art by Rob G. about a Gotham dog catcher who finds the Joker’s “dog” and worries about what would happen to him if he has to put it to sleep. The tale has been moving along well and next issue’s finale seems like it’s going to be fun.
So pick up DETECTIVE COMICS #787 if you want to see just how good a writer Brian K. Vaughan really is. As I read it, I thought I knew what was going on and how it would all work out, but instead of zigging, the story zagged me big time as I read the final pages. It’s got decent action and intrigue, but at the end of the story, it is the moral that gets Batman and the reader thinking and realizing that what just happened is something pretty special.
ASTRO CITY: LOCAL HEROES #4
Kurt Busiek: Writer
Brent Anderson: Artist
DC/Homage Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Pro Bono Reviewer
I love me the legalese. Kicking back and watching Law & Order together is one of those things the Socko clan does on a regular basis, along with the occasional episode of The Practice. Biff Socko also has some strange fondness for Ally McBeal, but don’t ask me to explain why. In any case, legal dramas are a lot of fun to watch. In the instance of the latest Astro City, they’re also fun to read. In fact, this may be the best courtroom comic I’ve ever read.
Set in the year 1974, the story follows a lawyer named Vincent who’s had the great misfortune to be assigned an impossible case. He must defend the son of one of Astro City’s most prominent mobsters. It’s no help that the defendant is on trial for a murder he committed in a crowded nightclub in front of dozens of witnesses. And that’s just the headache Vince has to suffer during the day. At night he has dreams about the Blue Knight, a ghostly vigilante style killer who wears the uniform of a riot cop and has the face of a skull.
The 70’s setting is no accident. The undercurrent behind the events of this issue is all about post-Nixon cynicism and distrust. There’s a scene where Vincent and his family are having a picnic lunch in Centennial Park, and Astro City hero, the N-Forcer shows up, warning everyone to evacuate the park before a spaceship crashes there. The people evacuate, but not without an undue amount of bitching and moaning at the N-Forcer for making them leave, even as the danger becomes visible.
But the big draw, for me at least, is the courtroom scenes. I have no intention of spoiling the exact nature of the defense Vincent comes up with, but it’s absolutely brilliant. It’s the sort of thing that, once you read it, you realize you’ve been waiting for it to appear all your superhero reading life. Yet it’s so simple, so obvious, that nobody has even considered it before. It’s a typical Astro City story, in other words.
It should be noted that while the Local Heroes series was intended to be a series of one-shots, this story has been expanded into two issues. We @$$holes probably do the loudest bitching about storylines being, or at the very least feeling stretched out into longer story arcs than is needed, but that isn’t the case here. There isn’t a single panel, or even a single word balloon that feels like added fat. I can’t say for certain until the next issue, but I'm betting this story wouldn't have been as strong without the two-issue expansion.
While this past week was an excellent one for comic readers, the latest Astro City: Local Heroes was one of the best. Sure, it didn’t have the drama of Supreme Power, or the thrill of Ultimate Six, or the sheer mindfuckery of Alias. But it was the comic that made me smile the most, and that counts for a lot.
SUPERMAN: THE MAN OF STEEL Vol. 2 (TPB)
Writers: John Byrne & Marv Wolfman
Artists: John Byrne & Jerry Ordway
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Let's say some disgruntled Marvel Zombie finally tracks me down, puts a shotgun to my head, and demands with violent fury, "Why the holy hell would anyone give a damn about that boring asswipe, Superman?!"
Folks, these are the kind of hypothetical scenarios that keep me up at night.
But I've got an answer for this scattergun-wielding nutball, and the MAN OF STEEL Vol. 2 trade is it. Wondering where volume one is? For reasons one can only scratch one's head over, it somehow got delayed until October 15th - yes, after volume two's release - but don't let that spoil your good time. See, volume one reprints John Byrne's actual MAN OF STEEL miniseries that relaunched the character in '86, and while it's smashingly good, volume two here reprints the first three issues of the three series that miniseries inspired - SUPERMAN, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, and ACTION COMICS - and these tales stand on their own with no background necessary.
So did I really say that these stories could make a believer of the many non-Superman fans? Damn straight, friend. I know because these were the stories that made me, a former Marvel Zombie m'self, a believer. What makes 'em so great where most Superman stories for the last decade have been lacking? There's no one single answer, but rather a host of 'em. By the numbers, then…
1) Superman is smart in these stories - I love, I fricking love that Superman's intelligence is the deciding factor in many of the confrontations in this trade. Fans have falsely characterized Supes as an all-brawn, no-brains character in recent years, and writers have done little to dissuade them, but here the big guy is always thinking. In the first story, for instance, we see Superman investigating a curious murder at an abandoned lab, checking fingerprints with his microscopic vision, noting a broken neck with his X-ray vision, and then doing something only he could possibly do: he burrows under the ground, separating the lab complex from the earth, uses his heat vision to fuse the silicates in the ground into a steel-hard "bowl," and lifts the entire thing into space where the lack of atmosphere will perfectly preserve the crime scene until he can return to it. He even stations it at the "Lagrange Point," the point between Earth and the moon where their mutual gravities cancel each other out and there's an area of stability. HOW FRICKIN' COOL IS ALL THAT?!
2) Many of these stories are self-contained or just two-parters - Shortly after Byrne left the Superman line, DC got it in its head to have all three Superman titles crossing over endlessly with each other - the multi-part epic being the new darling - but unlike the Batman franchise, there were never any real successes. A real shame, because these done-in-one (or two) stories, like the Superman 'toons of the 90's, pack a nice punch. From Superman's brutal first confrontation with Metallo to a team-up with the Teen Titans to a grueling showdown with a terrorist war machine, these stories move fast and are unabashedly plot-driven. Speaking of which…
3) Plot-driven stories! - Yes, today character is king, but there's nothing wrong with a fast-paced action story as long as it's delivered with intelligence and characterization isn't forgotten. Again, think of the much-loved Batman and Superman cartoons of the 90's. Those shows never slowed down for introspection, but they still gave us strong, memorable characters, and so it is here. You just get characterization mixed with action, and usually action built around an interesting mystery of some sort.
4) Superman's not all-powerful - Make no mistake, Superman is the heavyweight of the DC Universe, but he gets no easy victories in this collection. Metallo hands him his ass, a psychic parasite takes control of his motor reflexes and forces him to fly into the miles-wide fire pits of the planet Apokolips, and he has to struggle like a Frank Miller character to get past the pain of electrocution when a robot slaps him with an electrified coil.
5) Lex Luthor = the man you love to hate - Oh, he's a bastard all right! In the third story, he has Lana Lang tortured for information when he discovers she has a link to Superman. Then when Superman shows up ready to rip Lex's head off, he calmly breaks out his newly forged Kryptonite ring for a test run. Superman collapses in horrible agony, and after Lex drags him to the door, gloating all the way, he offers the nastiest of parting shots, "Now get out of my office…before I call a cop!" And that ring of his? Acquired from the Kryptonite "heart" that once powered Metallo. Luthor's lab boys have Metallo restrained for observation, and when they explain to Luthor that they can't seem to find a way to remove the Kryptonite without killing him…Luthor happily wrenches Metallo's heart out right on the spot. Beautiful. Did I mention that he also sleeps around with his female staffers and has the Kents shot? Mean. Mean, mean, mean!
6) The art - Say what you will of Byrne's art these days, there's little contention that he was on fire when he returned Superman to glory. His Superman is a true icon, humanized as Clark Kent, but every bit the Christopher Reeve hero you want to salute when the costume goes on. He's ably assisted by former UNCANNY X-MEN inker, Terry Austin, and legendary artist/inker, Dick Giordano, making this some of his finest work in my humble opinion. Jerry Ordway's segments are a little more down-to-earth, a little more grounded in blood, sweat, and multi-light-sourced shadows, and make for a strong counterpoint to Byrne's work.
Honestly, if you can read these stories and the stories in the forthcoming MAN OF STEEL Vol.1 without recognizing the coolness of Superman, then I won't try any further to convince you. I'll readily cop to the fact that most modern Superman stories are mediocre-to-terrible, and the same goes for the Silver Age tales that somehow made this character an icon, but here…here you have the closest the comics have come to matching the potential of the first Superman movie by Richard Donner, a high-water mark indeed.
Downsides? I noticed some thought balloon exposition that didn't bother me as a kid but feels a little too "Silver Agey" now. I'm also not a big fan of the re-coloring, which mostly matches the colors of the original issues, but cranks up their intensity to match the crisper white paper. It's a wee bit garish at times.
I guess that when all is said and done, the big question is: are there any problems notable enough stop me from giving this trade my unqualified recommendation for anyone who's ever wondered what makes Superman cool?
Absolutely not.
CHEAP SHOTS!
ULTIMATE SIX #2: It’s not that I’m not enjoying this mini-series, ‘cause I am. But if Marvel doesn’t feel that it’s important for Spider-Man to make an appearance between the covers of the first two issues of this series, then why do they feel that it’s important that Spider-Man make an appearance on the covers of the first two issues of this series? - Jon Quixote
BLUE MONDAY: INBETWEEN DAYS: The most flat-out fun comic on the stands has a new collection, pulling together the holiday-themed issues of the last year, plus a few little extras. We see how Bleu and Clover met! Victor's hilarious Goth makeover! Chynna Clugston-Major's awesome Halloween tributes! Get ready for the new miniseries by catching up with Bleu and the gang. You know you want it. - Lizzybeth
NEW MUTANTS #5: Oh my God…things actually happened in this issue. I don't know whether Marvel's easing up on its "paced for the trade" guidelines or the writers just needed some time to get their groove on, but this tale of the new students bumpings heads with classic New Mutants foe, Donald Pierce, wasn't bad at all. Art's still a bit rough, but I got some yuks, got some action, got some memorable character moments, and got a good cliffhanger. Bring in a stronger artist and this book officially has potential again. - Cormorant
SUPERMAN/BATMAN: SECRET FILES AND ORIGINS: Pretty good little story by Geoff Johns, some cheesy profile pages, an awkward story by Mark Waid (this Smallville-fusion stuff is getting ridiculous), more cheesy profile pages, and a really neat little story (and I do mean little) by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale. I suppose the Johns story provided some useful background information, but was it worth the dough? Probably not. - Village Idiot
SUPREME POWER #3: This is the best book Marvel's putting out right now, period. There's a kookie irony that it's a riff on DC since DC's where the real stories are being told nowadays anyway. Straczynski makes the Nu-Marvel pacing work for him since he's actually telling a layered story here with sympathetic multi-dimensional characters and not merely posing. Hyperion's realization that his life is a lie and he's nothing more than a tool is one of the most bittersweet, sad moments we've seen in comics this year. Waid and Leinil can keep their Ultimate/Smallville hybrid - this is a far superior modern riff on Big Blue. Yes, it's darker to be sure but it's far more engaging. I know anytime a deconstructionist book comes out nowadays people always have to drag Watchmen out for the easy-peasy comparisons. This is the first series I've read that's actually earning that right. - Comedian
SLEEPER #9: The cool premise of the latest issue: the supervillain Mafia knows they've got a mole, and while the mole's outside contact is dead as Kennedy, the bad guys have a good idea of where the contact might've hidden documents to bring the mole out of the cold. Assigned to the superpowered task force seeking the documents? The very mole himself, Holden Carver. This one'll have you sweatin', folks, and it even works as a jumping-on issue for newbies. Look for scene-stealing badguy, Genocide, to once again provide some great black humor, this time via a handful of darts. - Cormorant
ACTION COMICS #808: Joe Kelly's "Supergirls" storyline mercifully comes to an end. Steel's daughter, a scantily clad hip-hop Asian magician, and Superman's daughter, Supergirl team up to take on some sort of an angry Japanese warrior/ghost. They win, and then all hop in bed together. That's normal, right? Word has it that this may spin-off into an upcoming series for Kelly, taking the place of Peter David's cancelled SUPERGIRL. I'd think hard about that, DC. - Village Idiot
CHRONICLES OF CONAN Vol.1 (TPB): Reprinting the earliest Marvel Conan stories from Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith, this trade is the hairiest, he-manliest, most testosteroniest comic you're likely to read this year. Full review to follow next week, but really…just buy the sumbitch. -Cormorant
QUEEN AND COUNTRY #18: Yeah, Greg Rucka and Carla Speed McNeil are my kind of super-powered team-up. But it's kind of an odd result. Rucka's espionage thriller has always been a little bit more West Wing than James Bond, but Speed's pencils carry the title even further away from what we expect from a spy story. It's anti-noir, leaving no shadow for the little details to hide in. The action scenes, especially in this issue, are unfortunately rather a clumsy fit, but McNeil's character renditions are spot-on, right down to the bags under Crocker's eyes. Office intrigue was never so, well, intriguing. But we'll have to wait for the end of the arc to see if there's still a thriller here to go with all these spies. - Lizzybeth
SUPERMAN: BIRTHRIGHT #4 - Events reach a crescendo in this retelling of Superman's origin, with Superman finally making an appearance. It's a very reasonable crescendo; heroic poses and daring-do, but nothing too pulse pounding; and in fact I felt a little detached: with so many helicopters blown around, I lost track of the action. This issue also marks the return of mild-mannered Clark Kent, MIA since 1986. Welcome back, Clark. - Village Idiot
HAWKMAN #20 - There are those who have lost interest in this book, but I'm not one of them. Johns continues to successfully counterbalance the "Conan of the skies" and Indiana Jones aspects of the character of Hawkman. This issue is a good jumping-on point for new readers with the introduction of an interesting and deadly new villain. The action reads fast and the story races along, but carries an underlying tone of love that is lost and found and lost again. Plus we get a chance to see another Atom and Hawkman team-up. Although brief, these panels made the issue for me. - Ambush Bug
FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE #4: More mayhem with the Superbuddies. (Boy I wish DC would have let them use "Superfriends.") A little more miss than hit this time. Maybe it's just dawning on me that Giffen and DeMatteis don't plan on putting any real stakes, and REAL bad guys, in the story, and the scale is tipping too far away from superhero story, and too far into farce. - Village Idiot
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #47: Absolutely cannot read this book without at least once stopping to complain to myself that they didn't make the movie this good. Usually it's when Bendis makes Peter funny. Man, I do enjoy this comic. (Except for when Aunt May sees her therapist. Even I have my limits.) - Village Idiot
BART SIMPSON'S TREEHOUSE OF HORROR #9: Most Simpsons comics are mediocre, which means they're still better than the current TV show. The yearly Halloween specials always seem to have at least one really funny story, though, and this year it's the fully-painted issue opener, a whacked out LORD OF THE RINGS send-up. A qualified recommendation for most, an unqualified recommendation for LOTR geeks. You know who you are. -Cormorant
THOR #69: Read THOR. Just read it. How many times do I have to tell you? After the epic conclusion to the Lord of Asgard storyline, Asgard has fallen to Earth, destroying New York City. The humans fought back against the power-mad Thor and lost. Thor's wrath was unleashed and now he has been deemed unworthy to wield his hammer, Mjolnir. Now it is 2170 and the gods have taken over. You may think you know Dan Jurgens' writing. You may think you hate it. But give THOR a chance. This is the best stuff Jurgens has ever done (and I'm a staunch hater of Elseworlds tales). Even though it is now inevitable that a reset button will eventually be pressed, I'm sticking around for this ride till the end. Plus, the title finally has a regular artist, Scott Eaton, and he ain't bad neither. The cover shot of an Odin-esque Thor with Captain America's shattered shield above him is worth the price alone. - Ambush Bug
And before we close out the Cheap Shots for this week, lovable curmudgeon, Sleazy G, has some words of advice for you mugs out there who complain about the "same ol', same ol'" from Marvel and DC…
Some of us have been championing BLACK PANTHER and then THE CREW. Priest is easily one of the most underrated writers in comics. His books are intelligent, complicated, funny and action-packed, but you guys didn't listen, so THE CREW is cancelled, and his fans are pissed. We're looking forward, though, to a new assignment at Marvel Priest said was just too good to pass up. This time, don't blow it, huh? Start buying with his first issue, and don't stop. He's talented as hell and it's high time we showed the guy some love.
That said, START BUYING ED BRUBAKER'S BOOKS. SLEEPER is deftly written and as tense as they come. Brubaker's doing some amazing work with Batman's world, first in DETECTIVE COMICS and now in CATWOMAN. Brubaker reveals Loeb's writing and characterization as the pointless, hollow sham it is. As if those books aren't enough, Brubaker is set to take over THE AUTHORITY soon as well. This guy knows noir, and his prose and dialogue ring true. Don't miss out on smart, engrossing fiction in favor of more Flavor Of The Month.
