Hey folks... Harry here with the first reviews on THE HAUNTED MANSION and it sounds that the feelings we all get from the trailers are dead on. Everything production design and from the ride seems to rule, but Eddie Murphy and the BS-plot they've concocted rots faster than a cadaver in water. This truly sounds like pain to me. The first reviewer had a decent time, the 2nd and 3rd though... Cheese Grater fun...
What's up movie geeks! I just got back from a screening of Disney's "The Haunted Mansion" in the exotic land of Pasadena here in sunny California and thought it deserved a review for the aint it cool site. I have written reviews here before, one of which was for a God awful screening of The Two Towers last December which was ruined by MTV Moviehouse when they stormed the theater during Helms Deep with obnoxious blaring lights attached to cameras to blind us for 30 minutes! Suffice to say I am still burning from the experience. Thankfully, MTV was not there to ruin the experience tonight.
So what can you say about the Haunted Mansion? The film has it's good points and it's very bad points. But thankfully, the good points outweigh the bad points. Ahhhh hell, I'll just ramble.
I suppose the best place to start is with the story, which is decent enough for a film based on a Disneyland attraction. The film opens with some imagery that quickly explains the basis for the entire movie. Starting with a familiar ballroom scene we discover that the owner of the famed mansion is in love with a girl by the name of Elizabeth who kills herself because she does not love the man she is to marry. Finding her suicide note, out of sadness and anger, the owner hangs himself from the banisters. A very similar set of banisters just like in the sinking elevator opening of the ride.
Quickly we meet Eddie Murphy's character who plays a real estate agent by the name of Evers who does not hesitate to quip,"Here at Evers and Evers real estate we wanna make sure your happy for-EVERS and EVERS!" Eddie's character is so obsessed with his job that his wife, who he runs the company with complains that he has been too busy for his own son and daughter. Soon, Miss Evers gets a suspicious call from The Haunted Mansion begging for her alone to come appraise the house. Eddie's character, knowing the mansion sits in a high value area, never wanting to miss a sale, jumps at the chance deciding to make the stop at the mansion a mere speedbump on the way to a lake vacation.
Upon arriving at the house we meet the real star of this film. Terrence (ZOD) Stamp as The Butler. Simply awesome. With an amazing attention to detail and a monotonous deadpan accent, Terrence manages to steal the show much like Johnny Depp in the Pirates movie. Ofcourse soon we find that the mansion is haunted and apparitions and spooks decide to show up to feed the frenzy.
We also meet the owner of the mansion and discover that Mrs. Evers looks exactly like his long lost love Elizabeth. The goal is to have her dead so that the owner may marry her and lift the curse from the manor forever. Eddie's character soon pulls a bust head statue and finds a secret door which takes him on a journey into and around the highways and bi ways of the haunted mansion.
It is here that the film truly takes off as Eddie and the kids journey through the ghostly world and get to the bottom of the mystery. We meet Madame Liotta (played for some reason by Jennifer Tilly) who helps tell Eddie where to go, we meet the ghosts in the cellar, one of which is played by a very funny Wallace Shawn (INCONCIEVABLE! guy from The Princess Bride). And finally, when the film pays full homage to the ride- Eddie and the kids are pulled on a stage buggy through the backyard graveyard where we run into some favorite moments from the attraction. We see the hitchhiking ghosts, the singing bust guys, seesaw spooks, the bicycle ghosts, the moving tombstones-it's all here! This film is definitely at it's best during the moments when they tip their hat to the ride.
Ofcourse, after a rough adventure, good prevails, the bad guy gets it, and all in the mansion live.......(sigh).....happily ever after. It's Disney what can you do?
Eddie Murphy gives an appropriately over the top performance that suits the mood of the film well. I honestly thought he was going to ruin this movie but he actually made it pretty enjoyable.
The person who did NOT make it enjoyable was Eddie's 13 year old daughter in the film played by I- am-an-awful-actress-who-should-never-make-another-film-again. I shit you not, that's her name, it's in the credits. This character steps in quite often to ruin the flow of many scenes. Her horrible sarcasm even when a ghost is right on her tail, her bad line delivery...it goes on and on. There is one point when evil skeletons have Eddie and her surrounded and quickly she decides- pick me up and "spin me" like you did when I was younger! And sure enough, here we are watching a 90 pound chick spin-kill all the bad skeleton zombies! Awful. Okay, maybe that was more the filmmaker's decision, but come on! Almost as bad as the scene in "Lost World" when Goldblum's daughter gymnastic-kills all the raptors at Site B!
On the other hand, the actor who plays Eddie's 8 year old son is great and gives a lot of great reactions and comic relief. The Owner is pretty good. Wallace Shawn is hilarious. I already mentioned how kick ass Terrence Stamp was. Eddie's wife does good with a not too meaty part. Jennifer Tilly is good but feels totally out of place for her role. Don't get me wrong she has plenty of funny moments but I don't see why a unknown could not have been cast to play this part. Many of us are just too familiar with the girl on the ride and Tilly looks nothing like the girl from the ride.
The bad thing about this film is that it never really wants to scare you too much. When you are a kid and you go on The Haunted Mansion for the first time it scares the shit outta you! Waiting in line, standing in that sinking elevator, checking for exits, your heart beating fast, hands sweaty-I wanted that feeling when I saw this movie! Sure you get a few jumps, a few scary looking skeletons but that is pretty much it.
But.....listening to the kids around me I heard them laughing and a few of them seemed to be kind of scared.
The music was great, assuming we heard the soundtrack that will be in the finished film. The FX although some unfinished were tight. Rick Baker's make up was sweet as always. And the cinematogaphy was great too. Interesting lighting, clean shots, taking great advantage of 2:35.
In the end I think they have come up with a decent film that the whole family can enjoy. If I were a father taking my kid to this movie I think I would leave satisfied with what I saw. Hell, in my opinion it's worth the price of admission for the hitchhiking ghosts scene!
So all in all....a pretty good film.
Call me Goose....my broken ass neck would have been in the mansion too
if Maverick didn't toss my dogtags in the middle of the ocean!
Ok - a mixed to positive review... well, prepare to hear the worst...
Tonight I caught the First Test Screening Of Haunted Mansion. I went in with low expectations.....well...Because its Live Action Eddie Murphy.........and I was disappointed.......THE MOVIE BLEW CHUNKS!!!!!
What went wrong? They took a great ride and made shit out of it......Hell......They did a kick ass job with Pirates.....why couldnt they make a decent film here. This was worse than Beethoven 4(not that I saw it)!
Basic Plot:
Eddie Murphy and Wife are a real estate team.....Eddie is always putting business before family. He promises his wife a weekend at the lake with the family. On the way to the lake....they stop at this old mansion to see about selling the house( someone from the house called them the day before and wanted to deal with Eddies wife). Once at the mansion they are greeted by the Butler(Terrence Stamp) who gives them the lowdown.....Raining floods out the roads so they have to stay the night. Mysterious things happen.....eventually you find out that Eddie's wife looks just like the homeowners old girlfriend who commited suicide and He wants to marry her.....but he wasnt expecting the family to show up.
Eventually the family tries to solve the puzzle of whats going on.......and eventually there is a big happy ending with Ghosts going to heaven because Eddie And Family lifted the CURSE!
What worked for me:
Terrence Stamp was the Best Actor in the film.
THe Makeup by Rick Baker Kicked Ass!
Almost all Ride refernces KICKED MAJOR FUCKING ASS! (The 2 men in the Duel, The 3 Ghosts at the end of the Ride, The singing busts in the graveyard)
hmmmmm......thats about it.
What didnt work for me:
Eddie Murphy! Disney is trying to make a cheesy kid friendly film. Eddie Lost his edge somewhere in the mid 1980's and hasn't found it yet. He and Rob Minkoff should stick to doing Animated movies.
Jennifer Tilly as Madame Leota(the bodyless green head in the glass fortune teller from the ride) She totally ruined this for me....cracking jokes and becoming a bad comedy sidekick. They ever drive away at the end with her green glass fortune ball strapped into the seat. What a great way to fuck up a great character.
This plot is so paper thin that I cant even get a paper cut.......Ill admit that Pirates didnt have the greatest plot.....but it worked......THIS MOVIE IS A FUCKING MESS!
What the Fuck was with that Sappy and fucked up cheesey ending......there are better endings in live action Disney films from the 1970's... AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
End Notes
The Movie ran about an Hour and 40 minutes. It was a digital projection and many effects shots still needed work. I think little kids will think its fantastic.....but it aint no PIRATES. This movie will explode opening weekend and fade quickly once word gets around. DISNEY should be ashamed that it created a piece of shit out of a great ride. This movie makes Casper look like Shakesphere. Shame on you disney.......maybe Eisner got wind of this when he said there would be no more Ride Adaptions after Pirates 2!.........If anyone has any desire to see this.....do yourself a favor and take a $10 bill out of your wallet and wipe your ass with it......it will have the same effect and you will have saved 2 hours of your life!
Sign me.....Death By Gimli!
Ouch -- the pain continues...
Harry,
Samwyse here. Long time reader, and first time writer. Love the site.
Last night, being the 23 of Sept. I was fortunate enough to attend a sneak preview of Disney's The Haunted Mansion. After the movie however, I was doubting just how fortunate I really was.
This movie is awful. Not just bad, awful. Everything the TalkBacker's have said about Eddie Murphy screwing this thing up were 100% on the nose. All the care and attention that obviously went into Pirate's of the Carribean was completly devoid of this steamer.
The story was just terrible. Eddie Murphy is taught to love his family with the help of 999 happy haunts is true. That's pretty much what this movie sets out to do. I think I liked this movie better when it was called "Casper". Sure there's a little sappy love story/mystery thrown into it, but even all those elements could help this. And by the way, the number 999 doesn't even come up once.
The visuals in this were mediocre. Nothing really fascinating or burning imprints of it's image on my retinas. The singing heads were pretty cool because they were done in stop motion in time with the actors. Which I thought was pretty nifty. Most dissapointingly though is that all the great ghost characters that made the ride so famous were hardly in it. Just in brief cameo as Eddie Murphy went traveling through the grave yard. I could see all these wonderful characters at Disneyland Park.
The "Fight" scenes, if they so could be called "Fight" scenes were severely disappointing. In a crypt grave yard battle between Eddie, and his daughter against what appears to be left over costumes and masks from "Army of Darkness" was just plain laughable. Like a bad improv scene. "Quick dad, spin me like you used to when I was a baby." And then he does, and goddamn it, it fends off the evil horde.
The only reason one would have to see this flop is Wallace Shawn, (Rex from Toy Story, and the "Inconceivable" guy from Princess Bride.) He plays just about every major character from the ride, has the best lines, and is just plain entertaining to watch.
I can't recommend strongly enough to fear this movie at all costs. It is not going to be the 8+ dollars to view when it hits theaters in November. Whereas attention to detail and story were so vital to Pirate's success, the overwhelming feeling that Mansion was filmed over the course of a weekend will be it's downfall.
Call me Samwyse. And if it so pleases, http://www.angelfire.com/realm/oftheone
