Full report from Camp HacknSlash (minor spoilers)  

Well.. that was a LOT of fun

as many of you are aware, a friend and I went to the special world premiere screening of Freddy vs Jason at an all-day/all-night "summer camp" yesterday and today.

It was put on by the "Alamo Drafthouse" "Rolling Roadshow" -- that's where the theatre brings their inflatable screen someplace cool, and has a special screening (the last one they did was "the Goonies" with special guest Corey Feldman, shown in an underground cavern!

We arrived at camp (actually Camp Ben McCullugh a 30 minute drive from downtown) at 1pm on Sat for check in.

there was a HUGE line of cars to get in, and I was surprised to see so many had showed up right on time.

We stood in line after parking, and got registered. We were each issued a powder blue Tshirt (see pic attached) and a pair of colored tube socks. The tube socks were supposed to be used for the Tribal councils and campfire songs, but those things never happened -- oh well.. these things never go EXACTLY as planned

The shirt and socks were to be worn w/ blue short-shorts. . these were the Camp uniforms, and prevented gate-crashers from showing up (you couldn't participate unless you were wearing the uniform).

We looked over the activities available, and discovered that each camper was allowed to participate in 3 activities (activities started at 3, and ran an each hour, until 8 pm -- so after doing your 3 activites, there was gonna be some time to kill, since you could only do three).

Having shown up on-time, we had our choices of all activities (since they hadn't filled up yet). .we chose to do Freddy Glove Making at 3, Human Fat Candle Making at 4, and Scull Bead Sculpting at 5.

Since it was only 1:30, my freind immediately broke into our cooler, and started drinking Rum, while I stuck w/ water for the time being.

Luckily, despite it having been in the 107 - 110 range over the past few days, it got overcast on Sat. morning (60% chance of rain) so the temperature stayed into the 90's, and there was a decent breeze).

We hung out w/ other campers, and made a bunch of new friends, until 3pm, when we went to Freddy Glove making. By 3, we were both already a little lit, and the "camp counsellor" dubbed our table "trouble" hehe. . . we hung out w/ our new friends and made absolutely terrible Freddy Gloves out of styrofoam plates and duck Tape. LOL . .they truly were horrible, but the newscrews on site were shooting pictures of them, so perhaps my terrible creation will be on tv?

Russell was getting a bit loopy by this time (and a bit obnoxious), but we stumbled our way across the screening feild to the candle making, and had a blast doing that. (of course, despite everyone esle's candles coming out looking like giant tampons (due to the string/dipping way of doing it), mine started to look like a penis. It was unintentional, but even our Candle Counsellor was lauging at how funny it came out. (I kept it, but it got a bit smooshed in my bag).

Luckily, the bead making was at the picnic tables right next to the Candles, becasuse by this time, Russell could barely walk (LOL). . in fact, he stumbled back to the car to get more Rum, and got lost on his way back. . . I had to go over to Indian Leg Wresting and lead him back to the bead table, because he "forgot" that we were making beads. (hehehe).

We had wanted to set up on the screening field, since we had shown up on time, but the Camp Organizers said that they were going to be handing out ribbons for certain events, and those that had ribbons would get first choice at seating.

We hadn't entered in anything that could get us ribbons (like the Hot dog eating contest, dodgeball, or Coloring Contest), but I had found a second place ribbon on the ground.

By now, it was 6pm, but we had already done our 3 activites, so we wandered around and took pictures (when I get them developed, I'll post some), and I was absolutely drooling over the gorgeous skinny straight and tattooed men wandering around nearly naked (I took pics of many of the goth girls too. . since they were also great looking, but with so many guys wearing short-shorts? . . there were a LOT of "testicular-escapes". . so I was doing a lot of looking

We watched some Slosh-ball (which is basically softball, but with a keg of beer as second base, and you can't continue on until you down a cup of beer), and soem Dodge-ball. . these folks are HARD CORE. . hell. .get a bunch of straight guys showing off for thier girlfriends? they were nailing each other with that ball!

Russell needed to sit down, and so we went to the car, and got all our stuff, and kinda sorta set up by the side of the viewing area and started hanging out again w/ some new folks we met (some drove up from Waco, and one couple came down form Kansas to attend).

At 7pm, the Salt Lick (a local Bar-B-Que place) set up the dinner catering and folks started to line up for dinner.

as people started getting their food, they started sitting down on the viewing field. . despite the Counsellors telling folks that the people w/ Ribbons got first choice, people continued to go on the field -- so our little group (which by now was 8 folks we had been talking to) said, "screw it". . and went out to the middle of the field and ploped down in prime a prime viewing spot

Then we went and got in line to get food.

While we were waiting in line, the guy from the Alamo Drafthouse came on the mike and announced that there were nearly 1000 folks in attendance!

They introduced a local horror host and his two assistants. . and they did some horrible songs about Jason and Freddy. . and he hosted a Jason/Freddy trivia contest (that he had given all the answers to in his summary of the series). Oh well. . at least he made it interesting by asking the Jason fans Freddy questions, and the Freddy fans, Jason questions.

Since everyone was allready sitting on the grass in front of the inflatable screen, I guess they scuttled the plans for the tribal coucils. . .no point in breaking people up into groups if they already are sitting w/ thier friends

They announced it was time for the wet T-shirt Contest. I'd say they had about 26 entries, and about a third were guys (most of whom had put dixie cups under thier tops). Things were going well. . with cold water being dumped onto thin white shirts . . until the fourth contestant (I think it was the fourth) a guy -- decided to completely drop his pants and wave his privates at the 1000 people sitting in the audience

The organizers, of course, immediately said they didn't have permission from the park's owners and cancelled the rest of the contest (understandable). I wasn't too upset. . but some did seem disappointed that they didn't get to see most of the girls

Since the Wet T-shirt contest was cancelled (and the Tribal Council skipped) there was about an hour of free time prior to the film starting. . so one of the local horror host's assistants came out and did a damn impressive fire-dance. . including a bunch of firebreathing. . she was very good (yay)

everyone then just sat and ate/drank/talked until it got dark, and Tim (owner of the Alamo Drafthouse) and Harry Knowles came out and addressed the crowd. They asked everyone to please turn off any recording equpment, and begged that NO ONE give away the ending to the film -- since New Line had only allowed the complete film to be shown on the condition that "who wins" is not given away prior to the film opening nationally (next weekend).

Anyways. . they left the stage, the screen lit up, and we saw trailers for every Friday the 13 movie (except for part VI) and every Nightmare on Elm Street move (except for part III) -- I guess the ones we didn't see, they weren't able to get the trailers for?

Then the film started. "Freddy vs. Jason"

EXCELLENT start, right off the bat, setting up the story basically telling us all "this is gonna be a REAL slasher film"

Unfortunately, the film goes downhill from there:

It takes too long to really get things going, most of the main characters are not very likable, several of the devices to get the plot to move forward make no sense (other than if the character DIDN'T do this, the plot gets stuck), and a few huge plot holes (such as kids escaping from a mental institution, and the Police not being able to find them -- despite them being at home, in their rooms!).

My biggest problem with it was the lead acress simply is not very good. Yes, she looks pretty, but she is a terrible actress! Even I had a hard time believing her up there on the screen.

Another problem is that Freddy really gets the short shift here. . he kills ONE time in this flick. Jason racks up the bodies, and Freddy gets one kill? damn. . who'd he piss off at New line?

Was anything good?

OH yes: the main idea -- basically, Freddy has lost his power, because the children of Elm street have forgotten him. . so he manipulates Jason thru dreams to killing a few children to get them fearing Freddy again (no one realizes it's Jason doing the killing). . but once Freddy is up to full strength again, Jason doesn't want to leave Elm Street (remember, Jason lives to kill )

Jason's rampage thru the Rave is also destined to be remembered as one of the Friday the 13th series' highlights.

The Freddy/Jason fight in the dream world , and the SECOND Jason/Freddy Fight at Crystal Lake are both showstoppers. Not only well done, but possibly the bloodiest thing I've ever seen on screen -- in other words, they were GREAT!

Oh, and yes, there is a definate winner. . but I won't reveal the ending, because we were asked not to.

I would give this film 1 1/2 to 2 stars. Yeah, it was a bit disappointing. . but it was better than several of the Friday films, and better than the last few Nightmare films as well (but I think Jason X was better than this one).

After the film (which got a standing ovation -- I guess it's all about what audience you are showing it to), Robert Englund (Freddy) Donny Wu (the Director), Ken Kurtzinger (Jason), and Sean Cunningham (the Friday producer) came out for a 1/2 hour Q&A.

the crowd went nuts, and it WAS rather cool to have them there at the screening. Some very interesting questions. . most of which I cant remember but the "biggest" news, I guess, was Englund sauying that there is a script boppig around New Line for a Nightmare prequel, called "Elm Street: the first Murders". . sounds like it could be interesting if it gets made. (I guess they'll wait to see how "Freddy vs. Jason" does.

After a quick intermission (during which we went and cashed in our coupons for s'mores they started a few more trailers, and we went right into the second film "Sleepaway Camp".

I'd never seen it, and neither had any of the folks around us.

it was so bad, it was brilliant. It was bad in a good way. . LOL. . .and since we had never seen it, the "twist" ending was fresh to all of us.

This was easily the most homo-erotic film I have ever seen that wasn't a porno!. . . . Long , loving shots of upclose men's legs, guys wearing short-shorts -- with the camera lingering on thier (underwear-less (apparently)) crotches, Up camera angles of men in short-shorts having a shirtless waterballoon fight on a rooftop, even a gay-for-no-reason parental tryst that seems thrown in for the hell of it. . LOL Oh yeah, there's also a killer running around killing every camper and counsellor who is mean to Amanda (and her cousin Mark (I think that was his name)).

In other words. . it was GREAT!

After the film, they brought out the actor who played 'mark' and mentioned that "amanda" had also planned to attend, but she had taken ill and sent her regrets.

Of course, almost every question was about the homo-content of the film (LOL), and it was great watching him try not to "out" the director as he tip-toed around the answers ("no, really, we didnt' think there was anything homo-erotic about it while we were filming it" -- heh. . did he not WATCH the film???).

after another quick break, the third film started Madman (Marz)

Tim had announced that he had never seen it, and that it came out only a year after the first Friday the 13th, so he had a feeling it was bad. . but perhaps there were some "hidden gems" in it.

LOL. . this was awful!. . . but there were parts that were so bad it was good: The killer "Madman Marz" looked liks a sasquatch crossed w/ Ozzy from the Bark at the Moon Video. Why? Who knows, it isn't explained. . LOL

A long. . . LONG. . segment where the characters "TP" and (blond chick who's name I forge) "seduce" each other in a hot tub . . I swear, they were circling each other for so long in the hot tub, I finally said "what? are they caught in the current?" (getting big laughs from all around us) Poor "TP" got heckled even after his death. . he was hung. . so there were constant comments about TP being hung in the bathroom. . hehehe

My fave scene is a woman who is being chased (and these chase scenes were at least 10 minutes long -- so long, that people cheered when they finally got killed) anyways, she's being chased, and she goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge. . pulls out the shelves (thowing them on the floor) and HIDES IN THE FRIDGE. . . LOL LOL. . and the creature cant find her! despite the shelves being on the floor. . . heh. I was kinda hoping that she would get stuck in there and suffocate, like our Moms always used to warn us about refrigerators

to make the film instantly bad tho. . one only needs to watch the first 4 minutes. . yep the film opens w/ "TP" singing a song around the campfire, about dying in the woods talk about taking out any suspense whatsoever!

dud.. .but it was so bad in parts that it was fun to make fun of it.  

by this time, it was 4am, and the sky was starting to fill up w/ LOTS of ligtening.

Despite a light sprinkle. . . we went on to the final film Wet , Hot American Summer . eh. . I mean, I get what the film was trying to do, but it just didn't move along fast enough (or funny enough) for my tastes. . .

If anyone has seen it tho, could you please tell me who was playing Ben? I recognized the actor, but couldn't place him. . is that that same actor who plays Will on "Alias"? (hehe. .I'll admit it was HOT watching him kiss another guy onscreen). at just after 5:15, the sky simply opened up, and it started to POUR. . not just sprinkles, but pouring rain.

Tim, apologized, but said they had to stop, to save the equipment, but if anyone wanted to see the last 25 minutes of the film , they would re-show it tonight at midnight at the theater.

We decided that the film wasn't good enough for us to bother, so we scrambled to pack everything up, and headed out (along w/ the other 400 or so who had stayed the whole night).

We missed out on the breakfast tacos we had been promised -- but what can you do? if it's raining, you have to cancel. . . (besides, the tacos werent' to be served until 6:30, and we didn't want to wait around an hour wet).

We headed home, and I tried to sleep all day, but I only ended up w/ 4 hours. I'll be going to bed early.

All in all. . . .

Despite not loving the films, I had a fantastic time, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat! (we might too. .Harry implied they might do something similar for the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake coming out in Oct.).

bert