Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
I’ve missed these columns while I’ve been on the road. What a pleasure to be back and able to read it first, before anybody else. Now that I’ve had my fun, I guess I can share...
Hi-how-are-yah? Ambush Bug here from the Talkback League of @$$holes. One of the most common complaints we hear is that we are wordy sumbitches when it comes to talkin’ comics. Well, yeah. We do like to talk a lot about comics. You’re right. Wanna cookie? This week, your pal and mine Buzz Maverik waxes on and off about a cool Kirby trade. I ramble about ROBIN. And coming up first, Vroom cooks up a delicious review of Iron Wok Jan. Plus we have a pair of reports from the San Diego Comic Con from a pair of @$$holes in our @$$HOLES ABROAD section. So with out further ado… on with them wordy-@$$ reviews!
IRON WOK JAN! Vol. 5
Shinji Saijyo: Creator
ComicsOne: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Kitchen Staff Supervisor
This is one of those titles that’s been making the rounds among the @$$holes. Both Cormorant and Superninja have praised previous volumes, and now the book has hooked me. Of the three of us, I’ve probably got the largest background in the culinary arts. Before he was the terror of the cancer ward, my dad Biff Socko was the head chef at one or two restaurants in our humble burg, and is now the head of catering at one of the swankier hotels. Growing up in a chef’s house, you pick up all sorts of cooking information; I knew the difference between a bay leaf and a béchamel before I learned to ride a bike. So I can tell you right from the start that Shinji Saijyo knows his cooking. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This volume features the conclusion of the Chinese Cuisine Cooking Contest (say that five times fast.) The three finalists are Jan Akiyama, Kiriko Gobancho, and Celine Yang. Jan, the title character, is what I’d imagine Russell Crowe would be like if he’d become a chef. He’s arrogant, vicious, and a total asshole, but he’s got the skill to back up his attitude. He sees all forms of cooking as a competition, and he’s determined to become the best there is. Kiriko, his fellow trainee at the Gobancho Restaurant, has been Jan’s fiercest rival since day one. She believes that cooking is first and foremost about heart, the love of preparing a meal. Her determination to prove this to Jan is the driving force behind much of this book. Of course, Celine is a competitor who shouldn’t be taken lightly, as her Western background makes her an extremely innovative opponent.
The theme of this final battle is Dessert, and the three chefs are each using their own main ingredient. Kiriko, the points leader, is working with watermelon. Celine is making a papaya-based pudding. Jan, whose lack of originality in the first round has him in third place, is pulling out all the stops.
His dish is made with blood.
Fresh blood, in fact. Jan uses this to play with the audience’s expectations. What sort of dessert can be made with blood? How will it taste? Will it be good enough to overcome his point deficit? The crowd goes absolutely gaga for what Jan is making, as his boss looks on, providing an informative narrative to those readers who have trouble just boiling water.
You’d think that a comic focused on cooking wouldn’t be this enthralling, and yet it is. While TV shows, and even movies can make the process of making a meal look like fun, comics are another story. Iron Wok Jan works, I think, because the subject matter is taken so seriously. These are some of the most driven characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to come across. Jan’s single-minded determination is on par with Batman’s, and Kiriko isn’t that far behind him.
There are going to be 27 volumes in total of Iron Wok Jan! and I simply can’t wait for the next one. I want to see what the repercussions of the competition do to the restaurant. I want Celine to make another appearance. I want to see if Kiriko will ever realize that her attempts to prove that cooking is about heart, not competition, will continue to fail. (What do you expect? She’s trying to prove her belief by competing with Jan. Oh, what irony!)
This is the sort of book that you can’t help but love. If your local comic shop doesn’t have it, then you must hound the owner mercilessly until they do. As for me, I’m headed to Chinatown to pick up some ingredients. Reading this book has me in the mood to do a little cooking myself.
ROBIN #116
Writer: Jon Lewis
Pencils: Pete Woods
Inks: Andrew Pepoy
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Frikkin’ weird. That’s the only set of words I can use to describe the monthly comic featuring Batman’s teenage sidekick. Sometimes a comic comes along and just leaves you scratching your head and muttering those words. Lately, ROBIN has been such a comic.
I deem the first hundred issues of this series as a classic run by writing guru, Chuck Dixon. Dixon allowed Robin to grow, to fail, to learn, and to eventually triumph. He made ROBIN the most accessible character in comics for a while. You could read ROBIN and experience what it would be like to be a hero because he was pretty much like you or me. But Dixon left and indie writer, Jon Lewis jumped on. For sixteen issues, I read it and didn't really say much about it. I wanted to see where this Lewis guy was taking Robin. Once again, looking back on the past year and a half’s worth of issues, the only words that come to mind are “frikkin’ weird.” Gone are Robin’s antics at his boarding school. Gone are the high octane kung fu battles and innumerable threats at the revelation of Robin’s secret identity. Jon Lewis has thrown Robin into the Twilight Zone and I don’t know if it’s the right fit for the character.
Lewis’ first run pitted Robin against a possible hypnotic songstress in an underground Gotham night club. This arc lacked power and action. It failed to keep my interest. It dragged on for way too long and relied on too many pop cultural references. But as it came to a close, I decided to stick with the title for a few more issues, writing off Lewis’ weak start as a sort of “getting to know you” time between writer and his character. After that arc, we had a few issues with the Spoiler and her adventures that showed some promise. And then it got…well, you know.
With the conclusion of the last arc we saw Valkyries emerging from record players, the Riddler in his jammies, cannibals, alien twins, forests using wormhole technology, leering elevator doormen, and warped religious sects. Robin has seen enough weird shit in the last four issues to make David Lynch scratch his head and say, “Whatdafrikkin’fuck?” Robin is no longer the accessible character he was during his first hundred issues. Now, courtesy of Jon Lewis, Robin fraternizes with the weird and I think this takes away some of Robin’s appeal.
Issue #116 begins with Robin (literally) dropping out of the wormhole forest. Returning to Gotham tired, bruised, and battered from his past adventure, Robin fails to realize that his birthday is but a few days away. This was a nice little issue focusing more on Robin, the character, and less on the kookiness that has become the norm in this title. Lewis handles the normalcy aspect of the character well. It’s nice to see Tim unwind with family and friends during his surprise party. He watches videos, eats pizza, and opens presents. The quiet moments he shares with his girlfriend and family almost make you forget that it was only in the last issue that Robin fought a protoplasmic, otherworldly blob and a community of cannibals. For a second, Tim gets to be a kid. For a second, those old themes that made Tim so accessible come to the surface. And then it gets frikkin’ weird again.
The main problem I have with this title is that the weirdness and the normalcy are clumsily sloshed together. One minute, Tim worries about his doorman’s infatuation with his girlfriend, and then a hologram of a half-mechanical Alfred shows up. I guess my real problem with Lewis’ take on the Boy Wonder has to do with the “reality” of Gotham and how well it works with its protectors. Batman and his ilk meld well with stories where natural rules apply. Gotham has been depicted as an almost real world type setting. The heroes and villains don’t fly. Bullets don’t bounce off of them. I guess, to me, Gotham and its protectors are always done best when they are fighting mysteries that are capable of being solved by realistic means (means such as clenched fists, clever deduction, and a well-flung batarang). As soon as magic and time travel is introduced, all of those rules don’t apply and there’s a certain charm that is taken away from these Gothamites. Lewis is littering ROBIN with this weirdness. In some ways, this can be seen as a refreshing way to see how this character reacts in unrealistic situations. But it is the uneven way Lewis attempts to mix these elements and the sheer kookiness of these elements that don’t sit well with me.
When Lewis focuses on the more normal (well, as normal as Gotham gets) aspects of Robin, he does a really good job. There’s a great character moment between Robin and Two-Face that shows how alike Batman and Robin are and another great one with Batman and Robin in the Batcave that shows how different they are. These moments shine in this book, but they are few and far between. It is obvious Lewis is liking the way he puts Robin on a trip through the weird. You can just tell that he sits at his keyboard and taps with devilish glee thinking up one bizarre obstacle after another to throw at the character. I admire his desire to put something new in this title, but I still am not sold that this is the type of Robin I want to be reading and recommending to others.
JIMMY OLSEN ADVENTURES (TPB)
Written & drawn by Jack Kirby
Published by DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I'm grateful to DC for reissuing Jack Kirby's Fourth World work from the early 1970's. Four black and white volumes consisting of FOREVER PEOPLE, NEW GODS, MR. MIRACLE, THE FOURTH WORLD ( a second Mr. Miracle trade) have been released in the last few years. All are highly compelling, beautiful, awe inspiring, hyper-imaginative and seriously muddled, adjectives that apply to JIMMY OLSEN ADVENTURES as well. At least this book is in color, the only proper way to appreciate Kirby.
The name Jack Kirby is always spoken with reverence, as it should be. This man was the main visual creator of 98% of the Marvel icons, their various enemies, supporting casts and general universe. He probably conceptually co-created all the Marvel icons except Spider-Man (which he gave himself credit for) and Dr. Strange (who might not be considered an icon but is a character that I really like). Artistically he was a master storyteller and the power of his imagination could make comic pages seem like a hallucinatory other-realm.
But like today's great visual professional imagineer, George Lucas, Jack couldn't actually write. While Stan Lee's great gift was making one-dimensional characters two-dimensional, Jack's characters always came off as half-dimensional when they spoke. In this book, the kid who never takes off his scuba-gear always says stuff like, "Water's where it's at for me, Flippa Dippa!" Nobody ever talked like that, not even in the other comics published in 1970. A couple of Jack's essays are also included and are even less comprehensible than this review.
The oddest thing about Jack's writing is how disjointed it seems. Personally, I've never been able to understand how someone could write "Marvel style" with the artist plotting and drawing the story first, and the writer adding captions and dialogue to correspond with the penciled pages. It worked for Stan Lee, which is why he was able to write up to 35 comics a month sometimes but today's most prolific guys, Geoff Johns and Brian Michael Bendis, seem a little strained with a half dozen books. The new guys write actual scripts.
Kirby's writing here seems like somebody else drew the books and the writer tried to make sense of what he was presented and things never gelled. It's like Kirby the writer didn't understand what Kirby the artist was doing.
Okay, that's the negative! The positive is that you've got powerhouse visual storytelling with a kinetic thrust that you will not see in today's dead ass comics. Jack's art was slightly cartoony by the DC standards of the time as defined by artists like Carmine Infantino, Curt Swan and Gil Kane. In many ways, though, just as the Kirby style defined the early days of Marvel, it also prefigured much of today's exaggerated art styles.
Jack gives us big bombastic stuff, ideas that are almost ahead of our time much less 1970. Your X-FILES, CLONE WARS and ROAD WARRIOR are all in these pages. And the Superman here is a wonderful interpretation. Jack made one of comicdoms oldest, most well known characters interesting by placing him in events that are too big (and occasionally too obscure) for him. An enormous, undefined conspiracy is going on and Superman is reduced to just another player.
Mixed up in all of this, you've got Jack's relaunch of his 1940's characters, The Newsboy Legion. Unfortunately, they're the sons of the original legion and to make matters more confusing, their dads show up. Fathers and sons look and act exactly alike and you're grateful that once in awhile Jack draws one of the fathers smoking a pipe so you can sort out who is who. You've also got Dubbilex, a laboratory-created alien who is introduced (and even featured on the book's cover) then immediately abandoned. You've got Superman, Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion joining a bunch of hippie clones called the Hairies on a sonic "acid trip" through splash pages of badly reproduced photos that Kirby sampled from magazines.
Worst of all, you have Don Rickels and his lookalike Goody Rickels guest starring. I was prepared to love this. If Don Rickels were to call me a moron, it would be one of my proudest moments. But it's never clear what Goody Rickels is saying or why he's in a superhero costume. Normally, I like stuff like this, but the "Rickels" stuff I couldn't even enjoy as camp or what Comic Book Resources' Scott Shaw calls ODDBALL COMICS.
Comic book writer and historian Mark Evanier, who as a teenager was Jack's assistant when these comics were created, writes an informative introduction. It is almost inconceivable that the suits at Marvel would offer Jack an insulting, ridiculous contract. I mean, he only created everything, so screw him, right? And it's equally unbelievable that the DC suits had other artists redraw Superman and Jimmy Olsen on the Kirby pages, resulting in what Evanier correctly calls "bland, lifeless Supermans and Olsens".
Okay, I've criticized and worshipped the legend. But to clarify my feelings about this book, I'll tell you that this is Vol. 1 of Jack Kirby's work on JIMMY OLSEN and I can't wait for Vol. 2. And if Marvel would reissue all of Kirby's odd work for them after his return to company in the mid-70's, I'd snap them all up without reservation.
BIRDS OF PREY #57
Gail Simone - Writer
Ed Benes - Penciller
Alex Lei - Inker
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
So I showed BIRDS OF PREY #57 to my 18 year old, non-comic reading, punk rock nephew last night (my own Jess Lemon; but I assure you, Aaron is real), and one of the first comments out of his mouth was in reference to all the geeks who'd be putting the issue to use in a similar manner to how one might put, say, a Playboy magazine to use. And he's right. Ed Benes draws the sexiest babes in comics right now, and by the end of this issue, to quote Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra, I really wanted to take The Huntress out and buy her a steak dinner. Nice art.
But of course, sexy babes alone do not a good comic book make. You've got to look at the story, and for that we turn to Gail Simone. Gail Simone is something of a favorite around here; I sometimes think that if we could somehow find a way to splice her genes with Geoff Johns, the @$$holes could retire.
So did Simone come through this week? Yes and no. BIRDS OF PREY #57 has some really interesting, engaging moments, but on the whole, I have yet to be wowed. I find I'm respecting BIRDS OF PREY more than I'm actually enjoying it, which is not to say that I'm not enjoying it, I'm just not enjoying it as much as I want to.
Black Canary has been captured by the crazy metahuman Savant and his henchman, punched in the throat so she can't use her sonic scream, and tied down to a bed. Oracle, Black Canary's wheelchair-bound, computer whiz partner desperately but somewhat reluctantly recruits the help of The Huntress, a crimefighter with a mixed Batman/Catholic motif. But before Huntress can help out, she must finish the case she's currently involved in, rescuing a kidnapped baby. Meanwhile, Black Canary tries to con her way out of her predicament, and when that doesn't work, she resolves to take drastic, painful action.
So what's Simone up to here? Reference are sprinkled in here and there to Black Canary's past abduction, and I recently found via Gail Simone's own website, Women in Refrigerators, a site devoted to examining the victimization of female superheroes in comics, that Black Canary had been "tortured, made infertile, depowered." So I think something's being worked out here. That's fine, although after a bit of reflection, I'm a little worried about these themes being explored in light of the element that my nephew mentioned, i.e., unintentional bondage exploitation. But then again, this was something I only picked up on reflection.
As I said, the book has some interesting moments. Savant was really crazy, but self aware about it, even in the midst of his delusions. Simone was able to bring out the sheer cold-bloodedness of the Savant's henchman pretty effectively with some well-written dialog. Black Canary's internal dialog and her solution in the end worked for me too.
Yet most of the issue really belonged to Huntress and Ed Benes. As I was reading, it occurred to me that if I was a bad guy in the midst of getting my ass kicked by Huntress, at some point I would have to remark upon the fact that not only was I getting my ass kicked, I was getting my ass kicked by an amazingly hot babe. I can't tell whether that fact would make the situation better or worse, but it would definitely make it worth commenting on. Nevertheless, one of the best moments from the issue came from Ed Benes with an upside-down Huntress hanging from a fire escape. Nice, well executed stuff.
And yet, nothing really pushed the needle on the enjoyment meter into the red zone. I'm interested but not gripped, involved but not too excited. Perhaps this is because the story so far has kept a pretty modest scale; nothing fantastic has happened yet and the action has stayed pretty hard-boiled rather than amazing. On the other hand, the story is obviously building towards something. I'm on board to find out what that is. If your looking for a comic with snappy repartee and snazzy art, with a bit of a low key feel, maybe you should hop on board too. If you're looking for something a little more high octane, keep your eyes open for future reviews, or maybe wait for the trade paperback.
THE THING: NIGHT FALLS ON YANCY STREET #3 (of 4)
Writer: Evan Dorkin
Artist: Dean Haspiel
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
So with all the backlash against 80's nostalgia books (critically, if not commercially), would it be hypocritical of me to recommend with wild abandon a book that's essentially a 60's nostalgia book?
Too late, doin' it anyway.
I'm counting on you, our discerning readers, to recognize that a comic book homage to Stan Lee's genius FANTASTIC FOUR of the 60's might have a little more merit than the umpteenth retread of an 80's toy/cartoon/comic merchandising phenomenon. At the same time, I recognize and acknowledge that most homages of any sort are boring as dirt. Hell, just within the last year or two, Erik Larsen spearheaded a 12-issue maxi-series that was an homage to Lee and Kirby's FF, and it had all the excitement of reading tax forms. I made it through about three issues - with artists including Bruce Timm no less! - before determining that the series was actually sapping my love for the Fantastic Four. So I bailed. Same thing happened with Kurt Busiek and Steve Rude's recent THOR: GODSTORM - very pretty art, but the Lee/Kirby pastiche was almost too respectful, adding nothing to the mix.
But someone finally got it right, and that someone is indie comics boy, Evan Dorkin. He's the acidic humorist behind DORK! and everyone's favorite sentient, murderous dairy products, Milk and Cheese. I feel all but certain that Marvel expected some sort of subversive, deconstructionist take on the FF from him, but very likely to their chagrin, the Dorkin's work just percolates with affection for the over-the-top old stuff. He opened the first issue with a classic FF riff – The Thing getting pissed off at life and going stomping through the city to blow off some steam. Typical scene or not, Dorkin nailed the Thing's angst as few writers have in recent years, and where he stirred up the pot was in bringing in a new romantic interest for the big lug, a street smart artist named Hazel. Watch 'em bonding during a volunteer clean-up on this page. Awww! Sure, Ben's on the verge of two-timing his blind girlfriend, Alicia (and he knows it), but still…awww!
Modern, "paced for the trade" Marvel probably woulda stretched this love triangle story out for the entirety of the miniseries, but in the melodramatic tradition of Stan Lee, Dorkin revealed in the second issue that Hazel was also the ex-girlfriend of bad-guy-turned-good, The Sandman. 'Cept this story's set in an indeterminate past – the past of pre-reform, all roughneck bruiser Sandman - and when he found The Thing makin' time with his girl, hoo boy, the shit hit the fan. The fisticuffs that followed were brutal, innovative, and exhausting, just like Stan used to write in his prime. Dorkin brings just a touch of edge to the proceedings – slightly rougher language, harsher emotional realism, and grittier rumbles – but all filtered through the hyperbolic style of Lee and Kirby. It's that edge, though, and the spectacular action scenes, that set this miniseries apart from most retro-stories. And speaking of action…
As if the Sandman wasn't bad enough by himself, his old partners in crime from the Frightful Four show up looking to bring him in on a new score. Yeah, the Frightful Four, a hypothetically goofy lot including The Wizard, The Absorbing Man, and the guy with the super-glue-guns, The Trapster (née Paste Pot Pete). I know what you're thinking: "Those old villains are laaaaame! Why can't The Thing fight real villains, like terrorists and…uh…terrorists! Well fuck those boring terrorists! The reality the bring with 'em is an awkward fit in superhero fantasy anyway, and besides, Dorkin makes the Frightful Four genuinely frightful, worthy opponents of an upper-tier hero like The Thing. Dorkin even lets 'em show off a bit on an approaching S.W.A.T. unit, with the Trapster glue-gunning a pack of speeding police cars and sending the cops smashing through car windshields, and the Absorbing Man busting skulls with his giant wrecking ball. No blood 'n' guts, but you can definitely feel the bone-crunching impacts. It's the perfect antidote to staid talkfests and plotfests like recent issues of DAREDEVIL and THE HULK.
Well, the Frightful Four do a number on ol' Benjamin J. Grimm, but I'll leave the specifics of their scheme for readers to discover. Suffice to say, it's a simple but effective plan, and in the process of all the brutality, readers will once again be reminded why The Thing is one of the finest characters in Marvel's pantheon. Along the way, Dorkin serves up a fun Stan Lee writing pastiche alongside several instances of his own sharp wit: the Sandman yells at his ex-girlfriend for taking up "rock-climbin'", The Thing wises off against the bad guys for holing up in a bowling alley ("Let me guess – today League Night, tomorrow the world?"), and when the Wizard condescendingly explains to the captured Thing what "quid pro quo" means, the response is a candidate for best comic book line of the year (aw, just read the damn book!).
Witticisms aside, this penultimate issue is devoted to putting The Thing in one of the roughest spots of his career. If you've got any sort of appreciation for traditional FF adventure…if you can remember what it's like to be a kid and get caught up in a superhero cliffhanger…or if you just plain like The Thing…you're gonna want to put your hands on this miniseries. It's not postmodern enough to be a big seller, so back issues should be plentiful. Nab 'em, because there probably won't be a trade, and this little gem is too cool to pass up. It doesn't hurt that Dean Haspiel's art draws as much on Kirby as on some of the other great artists he admires, from C.C. Beck to Alex Toth to Frank Miller. In particular, he draws The Wizard as one mean sonofabitch, and with all the colorful characters running around, every page is one I'd consider buying the orignal art for. You know, if I had money.
Now let's be honest: if you don't have any love for the era Haspiel and Dorkin are saluting, then you probably won't have much vested interest in this series. But I'll also say this: if you're willing to take a risk on it, you might just end up understanding why Marvel's 60's material is so revered by all those old geezers.
@$$HOLES ABROAD!
Hey, guys n’ gals. Ambush Bug here again. Every now and then, we @$$holes like to shut off our computers, put on some clothes, set down our comics, and venture out into the bright light of the real world. This section will log our exploits and adventures as we spread that sweet @$$hole goodness to comic book conventions and events near you and around the world. This time around, Village Idiot chimes in about that OTHER Batman film being shown at the San Diego Comic Con. Take it away, VI!
BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN
Starring Kevin Conroy and Regis sidekick Kelly Ripa
Directed by Curt Geda and Tim Maltby
Released by Warner Brothers Animation
Reviewed by Village Idiot
As most of you know, the San Diego Comic Con took place a while back, and being intrepid internet comic reviewer that I am, I made sure I attended all the panels and presentations that you're dying to hear about. THE MODERN AND POSTMODERN SUPERHERO? I was there. SUPERMAN ON THE COUCH: A PSYCHOLOGICL EXAMINATION OF THE SUPERHERO. Wouldn't miss it. AN APPRECIATION OF CURT SWAN? I was in the third row.
I'm sure you're positively frantic with anticipation for me a detailed breakdown of each of those panels (and seriously, I did go to them, and some of them were actually quite good), but you're just going to have to wait. Right now, I need to get a few things off my chest about the Batman movie that was shown at the Con. No, not the 8 minute one with Boner from GROWING PAINS, the other one: the new WB animated film, BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN.
The good news: BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN was as good as the TV show. The bad news: BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN was only as good as the TV show.
Where the live-action movies have failed us time and time again, the WB Batman/Superman cartoons have usually come through, sometimes even capturing the spirit of the character better than the comics themselves. Sure, the JLA may have appeared a little cheesy in the early episodes, and at first blush, BATMAN BEYOND seemed downright ill conceived. But the stories and animation have always been entertaining and a cut above anything Marvel has been able to serve up - and yes, that includes the recently introduced SPIDER-MAN on MTV (where everybody looks like they're doing the robot).
On the other hand, DC's record was cast into serious doubt with the debut of TEEN TITANS the other night. Did you see that thing? Eurahh!
Luckily, MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN was generally up to par with the cartoons we've come to expect and enjoy from the WB animation gang. The movie seemed like a really good episode of the TV show. On the other hand, MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN was presented like a movie, and as such, the aim should be a little higher, perhaps on the order of BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM. And, well, it didn't quite make it that high.
The movie opens with an extended action sequence on the streets of Gotham, where a truck carrying a shipment of arms is attacked by a gray costumed figure with a bat motif. And breasts. And a reckless disregard for human life. Batman and Robin arrive on the scene to straighten things out, but the mysterious "Batwoman" gets away. Batman is on the case!
Soon we learn that the arms shipment was part of a deal among a villainous trio of gangsters: Rupert Thorne, the Penguin, and an African American crime lord named Du Kane. The Batwoman appears to have a grudge against these men, and she exacts her revenge throughout the movie with Batman hot on her tail. To the filmmaker's credit, they really did try giving the "mystery" to the story a shot, with three suspects that all seem equally eligible to be our girl. Is it Du Kane's sassy daughter Kathy? Is it the Michelle Pfeifer-esque the scatterbrained R & D girl at Wayne Tech? Or how about the new detective assigned to pair up with regular supporting cast member Harvey Bullock? The situation becomes all the more complicated when Bruce starts to take a romantic interest in one of the women, Du Kane's daughter.
Eventually, Batwoman proves to be such nuisance for Penguin and Thorne, they decide to call in the big guns: Bane - all juiced up and ready to go. With 4 villains of varying degree, 3 possible Batwomen, and, of course, Batman and Robin, you've got all the ingredients for a big fat climax on a big boat. And yeah, that's kind of what we got.
What we didn't get was the flair, innovation, or depth we got with MASK OF THE PHANTASM or RETURN OF THE JOKER. Unlike PHANTASM, the scale of BATWOMAN was not particularly epic. That's not a requirement for these kinds of movies, but it helps. The visuals didn't seem quite that ambitious either. While in PHANTASM, directors Eric Radomski and Bruce Timm threw some interesting shots at us (I remember a close-up of Batman's face in that movie that almost looked painted), BATWOMAN directors Curt Geda and Tim Maltby kept things pretty straightforward. The action scenes were solid and fun; and when Bruce Wayne took Kathy Du Kane to the Penguin's swanky nightclub, there was a unique dance floor sequence that seemed almost rotoscoped. But beyond that, nothing happened in the presentation that was unusually exciting (or excitingly unusual).
The story wasn't terribly deep either, but that's okay: I don't think depth is what they were shooting for this time out. Sure, Bruce had what amounted to another star-crossed romance, but the story seemed to give more time to the mystery. Now I'm sure many of the more canny readers out there think they've figured out who the Batwoman is from what I've told you in this review. Well, not so fast there, pardner: the story throws a couple of red herrings our way, and perhaps the fact that a character is named "Kathy (Du) Kane" is one of them. Perhaps. Rest assured that whatever the case, she doesn't look like this
So, BATMAN: MYSTERY OF THE BATWOMAN was a very good cartoon, probably as good as any superhero cartoon you're liable to find these days. It's fun and exciting, just like some of the better episodes of the TV show; but in the final analysis it doesn't rise quite as high as MASK OF THE PHANTASM. My understanding is that the movie will be released directly to DVD, which is the probably the perfect medium for it. If you're a serious Batman fan, this is one you'll want to add to your collection. If you're a more casual Batman fan, rent this when you're in the mood for some meat and potatoes superhero action.
And here’s Mr. "Tales From the Crevice himself," Vroom Socko, with a behind the scenes San Diego Comic Con report. Over to you, Vroom!
Greetings from the TL@ Clubhouse Bar & Grill. Vroom Socko here. Around this time last week, I left my humble home for the city of San Diego, site of Comic Con International 2003. This was my first visit to Comic Con, and now that it’s over I truly know what it means to be exhausted. Much of the news from the Con has already been reported both here and elsewhere, but I’ll try to give you guys something worth reading anyway. Here’s the Reader’s Digest version of the really Cool news I picked up:
Thumbelina will be appearing in issue 18 of Fables; as far as the cast is concerned, the production of the fifth season of Farscape is inevitable; the only returning member of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen in series three will be Mina, and it’ll be set initially in 1910; all male comics creators are dumpy looking; all female comics creators (including Vertigo editor Shelly Bond,) are hot looking; Dave McKean owns an exploding koi pond; and Dr. Tran will fuck you up.
MY COMPANIONS
First, I should mention the company I kept during this little outing, the pair of fellow @$$hole The Village Idiot and his pal BizarroMark. These two are, to put it bluntly, Superman fiends. Anytime we were together, in the car, at a bar, at the beach, these two would be talking about the Big Blue Boy Scout. I mentioned this to them sometime on the second day, and the next thing I knew I was in a scene from City Slickers:
VI: Are you saying you don’t like Superman?
Me: I like Superman just fine; I just don’t feel the need to discuss him all day. I mean, I’ve read his books, but I don’t remember the first issue that featured… oh, Bizarro.
BM & VI: Action Comics #254.
BM: Beat you. Here, you want to see the cover?
And I swear to god, BizarroMark reached into his bag, and pulled out a copy of Action 254! Then the Idiot starts talking about the Composite Superman, and he pulled out every single appearance of the sonuvabitch from who knows where. Around this time I fled the room screaming.
THE PANELS
While there were several panels of the DC/CrossGen/Todd McFarlane presents variety, I tended to avoid those. I wasn’t interested in any sort of Mark Alessi arrogance extravaganza, and The Idiot tells me I didn’t miss much at the DC panel. According to him, most, if not all questions were answered with the phrase “We’ll be announcing that at the Chicago Con.” Also, The Idiot says that with the exception of Mark Waid, everyone on the panel was acting like they were on drugs.
So what panels did I hit? Well, the first one was all about Seduction of the Innocent, the book by Dr. Fredric Wertham that killed comics fifty years ago. Just being in the same room with panelist and EC great Al Feldstein would have been enough to make this panel memorable, but there were two absolutely astonishing video’s shown. The first was William Gaines testimony before the senate, where he compared proving the value of comics to people like Dr. Wertham to explaining love to a frigid old woman. The second was an appearance by Dr. Wertham on the old Mike Douglas show, where he debated violence in the media with, I swear on my twice signed copy of Good Omens, Vincent Price and Adam West. And yes, it’s actually funnier than it sounds.
My second panel on the first day was on historical fiction, featuring Eric Shanower of Age of Bronze, artist Thomas Yeates, and Hawaiian Dick’s B. Clay Moore and Steven Griffin. The discussion mostly covered the area of research, one of those topics that either interests you or it doesn’t. It interests me very much, and I learned quite a deal.
The last panel I attended on Thursday was the premier of A Short Film About John Bolton, an intriguing look at an artist whose work I’ve always enjoyed, and will now look at in a much different light. This is the film that Neil Gaiman made when Dave McKean suggested he get some practice in before directing Death: The High Cost of Living. If you have any opportunity to see this great little documentary, take it at once.
After the first day, most of the panels start to blur together, mainly because Neil Gaiman was on half of them. The Farscape panel was a blast. We learned that many of the show’s actors would be headed to the stage, Wayne Pygram is going to be hitting the skins with his band, and Ben Browder will host a show on major battles through the ages for The History Channel. However, every single person on the panel, and everyone in the audience remains convinced that the return of Farscape is a matter of when, not if. The Alan Moore and Bill Willingham panels were fun, if a bit light. The Marvel Blockbuster panel was worth it just to be in the same room as J. Michael Straczynski and Brian Michael Bendis, and both gentlemen were great fun to listen to. The crown jewel, however, was Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, who spent an hour and a half riffing off one another the way only two friends who’ve known each other for twenty years can. Neil would make fun of Dave’s koi pond, and then Dave would make a derogatory comment about Neil’s writing style, and on, and on. It was easily the funniest panel of the con.
THE PROS
This was where the real fun was to be had: meeting and speaking to the people responsible for the products we @$$holes spend way too much time discussing. I especially enjoyed talking to people whose work has appeared in my Tales From the Crevice feature. Old acquaintances Tyson and Ian Smith were fun as always, and the preview art for their new book, Emily and the Intergalactic Lemonade Stand looks to have the same sort of screwball humor as Oddjob, their previous book. And She’s A Nightmare creator Jesse Chen was just about the most enthusiastic person I ran into. By the way, Chen recently finished up his second storyline, which is available right here. It’s more of the same film noir/comedy style that can be found in the first volume, but with more action sequences, a squad of assassins that bear a striking resemblance to Nsync, and the single best closing page I’ve ever read in my life.
Of the other pros I met, Craig Thompson and Chynna Clugston-Major were the most curious about the reviews we @$$holes provide for this site. Bendis was rather delighted to meet me, saying he gets a kick out of the site, although he had to convince his lawyers that suing Hercules The Strong for threatening him with bodily harm just wasn’t worth it. He also said that when he has the time he’d love to sit down with me for an interview, so you guys can look forward to seeing that in a month or so.
The best, though, was Usagi Yojimbo creator Stan Sakai. He struck me as being very much one with his creation. Sakai has the soft, cuddly nature of a bunny, as well as the quiet grace of a samurai. And he was pleasantly surprised to meet a contributor to “that website with King Kong on it,” as he put it.
THE MOST FUN PART
What really made the week such a blast, what made me want to go again next year even if I have to sell a kidney to pay for it, was simply being there. It was the stuff that normally doesn’t make Con reports that I loved. Stuff like seeing George Pérez at the CrossGen booth, signing for a colossal line while looking happier than any person has a right to. Oddities like J. Michael Straczynski appearing to have a petite mall seizure whenever someone mentioned his work on Masters of the Universe. Moments like Sean Astin running up on stage in the middle of the Marvel Blockbuster panel. There’s the woman in the skintight Black Cat costume, or watching the hilariously mad short Dr. Tran at the Sick and Twisted, or finding this or that book I’d been looking for (or not finding. I’m beginning to think there’s no such thing as The Maxx #13.) If I had to pick an instance that best describes just what it is that made this so special, I’d say two things. The first was standing at one end of the Exhibit hall and realizing that I couldn’t see the other end. The second was sitting at the airport reading The Liberty Project, and realizing that it’s author, Kurt Busiek, was sitting across from me.
Wizard World Chicago is coming up on August 8-10th, and July 22-25th of next year in San Diego looks to be even bigger than this year. I tell you now, find your way to one or the other, because just reading about it is a very poor substitute.
