Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
It’s funny... when it rains, it pours. Most days, we having nothing that’s directly comic related on the site, and on the day we’ve got at least two other comic stories, the TalkBack League shows up with their weekly missive. Figures, don’t it?
Well, hello there, TalkBackers. Ambush Bug here from the TalkBack League of @$$holes. This column has it all. We’ve got samurai bunnies, scooter-drivin’ hipsters, monkey-shagging aliens, and more super heroes and villains than you can count. We cover releases from the Big Two companies, some indies, and a few publishers that I have never even heard of. So sit back and read the reviews and then gripe about it all in the TalkBacks, you back-talking TalkBackers. Here’s my pal Buzz to start us off.
THE ETERNAL # 1
Written by Chuck Austen
Art by Kev Walker and Simon Coleby
Published by MAX
&
THE ETERNALS #1
Art and writing by Jack Kirby
Published by Marvel
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Compared and contrasted for Ms. Taylor's English class by Buzzy M., Grade 7, Stanley Leiber Junior High School, Beejai CA.
Old Fart Note: The summer of 2003 is shaping up to be the summer of 1976 all over again. Led Zeppelin has just released the live, 3 CD set HOW THE WEST WAS WON, and Marvel Comics' MAX imprint has just issued THE ETERNAL #1. In 1976, I was 12 years old and spent all my money on rock albums, comic books, and pot. Many of these albums were by Led Zeppelin and one of the comic books was THE ETERNALS #1 by Jack Kirby, who had made his bittersweet return to the House O' Ideas the previous year. Now I'm 39 years old and I only get high on life ... and crack. But I can crank up HOW THE WEST WAS WON, read THE ETERNAL #1 and imagine how early puberty Buzz would react to all of this...
THE ETERNAL #1 and THE ETERNALS #1 are both comic books. They are both about gods from outer space who are really aliens from outer space who turn monkeys into people. In THE ETERNALS # 1, the guy who draws the Fantastic Four in MARVEL'S GREATEST COMICS has the Space Gods turn the monkeys into humans, and into monsters called Deviants and into superheroes called The Eternals.
In THE ETERNAL # 1, the Eternals turn monkeys into chicks and do it with them. I guess I could get over Farrah, Kate, Jackie, Lynda Carter and Ms. Taylor having once been monkeys. Also, if my friend Rog's Mom used to be a monkey, I still wouldn't mind. Ditto for the older sister on ONE DAY AT A TIME (I know the younger sister's cuter, but the older one seems like she'd be willing to do anything ). But if that chick, Tanya, who I once made out with on my way home from baseball practice, had ever been a monkey, I would have broken up with her even faster than I did. I probably wouldn't have made out with her at all, but we went in together to buy a nickel bag from that guy named Royal who was kicked out of the ninth grade for lighting up a joint on the school bus.
Anyway, the guy who draws Captain America in MARVEL DOUBLE FEATURE doesn't have his Eternal doing it with an ex-monkey chick. His Eternal just runs around an Inca tomb and talks a lot. I recognize a lot of this stuff from that book CHARIOTS OF THE GODS that I borrowed from the guy up the street who has the CONAN mural painted on the side of his van. That reminds me, I have to return the book when I go over there to learn how to make bongs this Saturday.
In both THE ETERNAL and THE ETERNALS, the Eternal is kind of cold and distant. Sort of like my Dad. I like the Deviants better in both books. In THE ETERNALS, the Deviants are weird looking monsters who are out to stop the Space Gods from returning (which seems like a good idea to me) and in THE ETERNAL, the Deviants are naked chicks (which seems like a good idea to me). The Eternal drawn by the guy who drew the THOR MARVEL TREASURE EDITION fights the Deviants. The new Eternal does it with the Deviants.
Please excuse all the eraser marks but I doodled some pot leaves and naked chicks without thinking, which probably wouldn't have been too cool.
SCOOTER GIRL #1
By Chynna Clugston-Major
Oni Press
Reviewed by: Lizzybeth
Chynna Clugston-Major, writer-artist of the uproariously funny BLUE MONDAY, takes a break from her regular series to produce this mini-series that’s… exactly like BLUE MONDAY?
It may seem strange for me to complain about this, considering how much I enjoy her other high school hipster comedy, but I was hoping for something a little bit different this time out. Instead, I find the same basic setting, the same personality types (the haplessly smitten boys, the sassy and oblivious girls), and the same accessories (the same clothes, records, and modes of transportation), attached to characters not nearly so immediately distinctive and likable as her previous creations.
The continued references to scooters don’t help. I know that scooters were supposedly cool at some point, and are supposedly retro-ironic cool in some places now, but I have yet to see an actual person on one of those slow-mobiles who didn’t look like a giant tool. As Alan’s mode of transport in BLUE MONDAY, it was still a nice character detail, especially knowing that he only bought the thing to impress his Mod crush, Bleu. But here they’re popping up all over the place, as the prized possessions of our two fashionable lead characters, and are more of a substitute for characterization than an enhancement of it. Fashion doesn’t make a good premise for a series in itself, not even when you put it in the title.
As usual, Clugston-Major does a fabulous job of putting across the snarky attitude and stylish look of her hipster kids, with her manga-influenced vivid expressions, vibrant design, and creative layouts. But SCOOTER GIRL isn’t nearly as funny as her other work, and not so jam-packed with mischief and energy either. Maybe it will end up being a different animal after all, down the road. After all, the main character does do the unthinkable and actually graduate from high school at the end of this issue (comics characters can age? Wonders never cease), so I will be interested to see where the series goes from here. Leaving the academic setting would be a vast improvement, as this first issue loses all momentum as soon as it turns away from our suave hero’s nightlife to his bumbling school days. Why, after that terrific party splash page, would we want to go back to school?
But I don’t mean to be harsh in my criticism for an artist that I find consistently delightful, even in an outing that’s lesser by comparison. Perhaps SCOOTER GIRL simply has the misfortune of being the follow-up, settling all too well into Clugston-Major’s already-recognizable style, when I was hoping to see her stretch a little. The cover, at least, is her best effort to date, with a very attractive color scheme and design that promises something much more fun and intriguing than the pages within can deliver on, just yet.
THE FLASH #198
Geoff Johns - Writer
Scott Kolins - Penciller
Doug Hazelwood - Inker
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
One of the more over-utilized anecdotes for describing the limitations of "convenience sampling" for polling data is The Infamous Pauline Kael Story, a favorite in statistics and sociology classes everywhere (or at least it was in mine). As the story goes, New Yorker film critic Kael was absolutely stunned upon hearing about Richard Nixon's landslide victory over George McGovern in 1972. She just didn't think it was possible, she explained. "Nobody I know voted for him."
I bring this up because I have a similar problem as Ms. Kael when it comes to one of my favorite comics, THE FLASH. To wit, I can't understand why THE FLASH is ranked at #63 on Diamond's Top 300 ranking; everybody I know likes it. Everyone that I have managed to successfully turn on to THE FLASH likes it; a list that ranges from Jamie, the grizzled, Marvel-loving comic store owner, to AICN's somewhat less-grizzled Jon Quixote. Sure, there are occasional gripers out there on message boards, but in terms of my overall numbers, those people are statistically insignificant; like people who don't like chocolate.
So according to the 2003 Village Idiot Convenience Sample FLASH Popularity Study, THE FLASH should be in the top ten. And yet there it is, down at #63.
What is the matter with you people?
Of course, when I stop to think about it, I know what's the matter with you people. Some of you are turned off to the idea of an old-school, costume-wearing, only mildly post-modern super-hero like The Flash. Some of you are drawn more towards the edge of Bendis and Morrison, and not towards the fantasy and fun of Johns. Some of you are die-hard fans of New Marvel, and DC books are a tough sell. And some of you are just mean.
Look, it's okay to like the other stuff, that's fine. I like ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN too. But there are other books out there that can still give you another flavor of fun, perhaps even more fun than anything else you're reading right now. THE FLASH is one of those books.
#198 is a great example. The Flash, Wally West, has gathered his family and friends together so he and his wife can tell them that she's pregnant. (I know that at least one of you TalkBackers will be happy to hear that there's a super-hero filled barbecue in the story, and nobody is wearing a costume. Imagine that.) But before they can actually celebrate, a series of sonic booms begin to tear up Central City. Wally and Jay Garrick, the original Golden Age Flash, run out to investigate, only to find bad, bizarre stuff going down - stuff that's happening so fast, even THEY can't see it. Things quickly go from bad to critical as Jay, Wally's mentor, gets smacked around in thin air while Wally can only watch helplessly.
Of course, we know what's at the bottom of everything. We know all the mayhem is being caused by Zoom, the Reverse Flash, and he's creating the sonic booms by merely snapping his fingers together. Who is Zoom? To Wally, he's a ghost; he's the only villain killed by Barry Allen, the pre-crisis Flash. But we know that the mantle of Zoom has been taken up by a former FBI super-villain profiler and good friend of Wally's who's gone insane from self-pity and a flush of speed powers. He's crazy. He's pissed. And his one unstoppable goal is to hurt The Flash as deeply as he can. The fact that he looks like a bizarre evil doppelganger and that he's beating Wally at his own game makes the story feel like some kind of surreal nightmare. To put it simply, this is actually some pretty scary stuff.
So enough excuses, it's time to give it a shot. And if you've already tried it, give it another shot. THE FLASH is headed for issue #200 with this storyline, and they're supposed to be gearing up for something really big. It's still early enough to get on board at the beginning; and if you want the entire low-down on Zoom, last month's entire issue is devoted to him. So what do you say?
I mean, come on.
STARTLING STORIES -- THE THING : NIGHT FALLS ON YANCY STREET # 1
Written by Evan Dorkin
Art by Dean Haspiel
Published by Marvel
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
A black screen. Orlando Bloom, doing an American accent, roars: "Flame on!" For a split second, we see the young actor CGI'ing into a being made of flame. Then, he jets into the night between the gleaming skyscrapers. A line of flame cuts through the blackness at an angle. Johnny Depp's voice, somewhere between Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands, tells us: "It was a simple matter of circumventing space time to divert the fallout into an area of sub-space I call the Negative Zone." Suddenly, a CGI Depp stretches his body the length of a debris-strewn city block, swinging a fist the size of a Volkswagen into our faces. Back in black, the firebolt slams past us as we hear Robert Carlisle with a vaguely Eastern European accent : "Today belongs to Doom!" And a metal covered man-fiend, cloaked in a green hood, strides triumphantly into the retro-futuristic lobby of the Baxter Building. Again, the streak of flame races upward across the darkness. A resolute Maria Bello is heard to say, "No one hurts my family! No one!" A barrage of tiny missiles descend on the Baxter Building rooftop, where Ms. Bello, spectacular in blue leather, looks up from the wreckage of a shattered Fantasticar. As if slamming into an invisible barrier, the missiles explode one by one, brilliant and harmless. Between the blasts and the glare, we see the woman fade into nothingness. The wild fire unleashes its final fury. Matt Dillon's New York accent, heavy with attitude, growls: "Awright! That does it! It's clobberin' time!" A CGI orange behemoth hauls himself out of a deep impact crater in Central Park and charges the camera ... A huge number 4, made entirely of fire, fills the black screen. The announcer: "From director Buzz Maverik. May, 2005. This film is not yet rated."
Hey, it could happen.
Writer Evan Dorkin gives us one of the best portrayals of Benjamin Jacob Grimm, the Thing, that we've had in a long time. As in last year's THING: FREAKSHOW by Geoff Johns and Scott Kolins, the Thing is an intelligent, troubled character, believable as a former street kid, college football hero and astronaut. Too often, writers make the Thing come across as a wisecracking Hulk. Dorkin shows us that the character is a human being...an angry, miserable human being.
The interesting thing about Ben Grimm's character is that before the Fantastic Four made that original, illegal flight into the cosmic ray storm, he would have been the glamorous one. A tough brawler admired by men and desired by women (and some men, this is 2003). An athlete talented enough to earn a full college scholarship. Smart enough to excel in the necessary physics and engineering courses to earn at least an MS degree. A military pilot (I don't think the comics have ever told us, but I always picture Grimm as a Naval aviator) among the elite. Compare that with Reed Nerdlinger, whose one saving grace is an I.Q. twice the size of Einstein's. Or with Johnny Storm, a kid too crazy to fear anything. It should have been Ben Grimm marrying Sue Storm.
Instead, Grimm became a hideous, awesomely powerful monster. In many ways, even the Hulk got a better deal, because at least when Banner turns huge and green, he forgets the lousy situation he's in. One of the things I liked best about this book is that we gained a new insight into Grimm's relationship with his blind girlfriend Alicia Masters. Deep down, he resents her because she pities him and she can never love the real him.
During the course of the issue, the Thing meets a strange girl who can see him quite clearly. As Clarence said to Alabama in TRUE ROMANCE, "I knew there was no way you could like me that much." You guys are geeks. Admit it. You're taken aback a little when you meet a girl who actually seems to like you. Dorkin communicates this perfectly.
Dean Haspiel draws a cool Thing. His mass destruction is highly convincing without any John Byrnian overkill. This is an artist who can give us Super-Apes, Egyptian pyramids and ferris wheels all with equal style over the course of a few pages.
I don't trust the new lady in Ben's life. And I think I know who that ominous shadow belongs to in the last panel. But that's not the point here. I want to see what happens with Ben and whatever he goes through, we fans will do well to go along with him.
USAGI YOJIMBO #66
Writer/Artist: Stan Sakai
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
It was roughly ten years ago that I first came across Stan Sakai's saga of a wandering bunny samurai. Now the only time I'd ever seen a cartoon bunny that was meant to be taken seriously was in the animated adaptation of WATERSHIP DOWN, but that blood-soaked tale of heroic survival left an indelible impression on me, so I was at least open to the possibilities of "bunny cool." This, coupled with fond memories of sword-wielding turtles in the early, black-and-white years of the Ninja Turtle craze led me to flip through an issue. The first page I flipped to just happened to have the titular Usagi - a masterless samurai - performing crude surgery to remove a broken arrow shaft from a semi-conscious comrade. There were three or four grueling panels of this poor bastard being held down (thankfully off-screen) while Usagi fished around in his stomach to dislodge the arrow. Afterwards, a heated sword blade was pressed to the wound to cauterize it.
Disney this book ain't.
I immediately became a dedicated follower of the series, collecting back issues in trades and following the series as it migrated from Fantagraphics to Mirage before finally finding it's current home at Dark Horse. Ostensibly the series is "all ages," and indeed, it's the kind of comic I'd have killed to have known about when I was in grade school, but the grim scene I described is not atypical. The influence of Akira Kurosawa casts a long shadow over the cartoony characters of the series, and tales of violence, tales of class struggles, of war and of rape, have all been told. Throughout, Stan Sakai has infused the book with heavy doses of Japanese feudal history and daily life, lending it an effortless and painless didactic undertone. Every once in a while, though, Sakai breaks from the epics for a bit of fun: murder mysteries, horror stories steeped in Japanese folklore, or, in the case of the current issue, Stan's tribute to Japan's tradition of giant monster stories!
"You mean…he fights Godzilla?"
Well, not quite, but we do get no less than two fights with giant monsters in this opening chapter Рnothing to sneeze at. As Usagi is traveling between towns with his son, Jotaro, he first encounters a giant centipede and later, a "Mothra"-inspired giant moth who causes windstorms with the flapping of his big honkin' wings. Needless to say, swords are drawn and monsters hacked! The good guys also find themselves aided by a former ally, the demon-hunter, Sasuk̩. Sasuk̩'s a handy guy because he knows how to do outrageous stuff like lick his arrows before firing them into the eyes of the big centipede. Hey, it's just common sense if you know your Japanese folklore, smart-ass, saliva apparently being poison to these things. Sasuk̩ even knows the source of the monsters: a cursed brush-and-ink set from which any image drawn becomes reality. He's got a good guess that the artist behind them is in the area, too; children have been disappearing and, gruesomely, the blood of children is precisely what's needed to make the magicked ink.
WEIRD!
But cool. And the story of how something so innocuous as a brush-and-ink set could become cursed turns out to be pretty entertaining in and of itself. Most mythology geeks know Greek and Norse mythology, maybe a little Egyptian stuff for good measure, but Japanese myths and folklore remain unknown to most Westerners, and are appealingly exotic in books like USAGI YOJIMBO. As a bonus, Sakai includes some text history on the letters page, concerning both Japanese pen-and-ink drawings and legit "giant monster" folklore.
Sakai's visuals are instantly inviting, and not dissimilar to the detailed, textured work of Sergio Aragonés, whose goofy classic, GROO, Sakai has always lettered. Sakai's work is manga-influenced in its cinematic staging and perfect grasp of the black-and-white aesthetic, but "American" enough that the stories and action scenes don't beat around the bush. Remember - this single issue has not one, but two monster fights! In your face, trendy decompressed storytelling! Take notice, too, of the total lack of "special effects" like digital blurring or even pre-made halftones. Gives the book the sort of purity that comes from knowing that one artist did everything.
So what's up with the "funny animal" designs? I've always assumed that Stan decided to make USAGI an anthropomorphic-themed comic for the same reasons Disney and Warner Brothers use animal characters – the wild designs make characters instantly recognizable and are innately appealing to kids. That Usagi has rabbit characteristics, and others the features of bats, snakes, or foxes doesn't signify anything about their personalities – these are just distinctive visual flourishes, and fun ones at that. Reading this book doesn't make you a "furry" (pop culture slang for the folks who fixate on anthropomorphic characters, sometimes even in…*cringe*…naughty ways), nor does it reveal kiddified tastes. Trust me. The USAGI trades have featured introductions from professionals as disparate as Paul Dini, Will Eisner, James Robinson, and Alexandro Jodorowsky. You don't rally that kind of support without having truly wide-ranging appeal.
The only downside to this new arc is that it's fairly light on characterization, being more of an action showcase than one of the series' epics. Interested newcomers are therefore advised to seek out the early Fantagraphics trades (also a timely means of helping Fantagraphics out of their current economic crisis!). I especially recommend Book 4, "The Dragon Bellow Conspiracy," an epic-length adventure uniting Usagi and a host of heroes and scoundrels against a conspiracy to overthrow the Shogun. On the other hand, it doesn't have giant moths getting plugged with fire-arrows, so maybe you should check out this latest issue after all.
JSA ALL STARS #2 (of 8)
Writers: Geoff Johns, David Goyer, Jeph Loeb
Artists: Phil Winslade, Tim Sale
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Take a look at the names behind this book. Geoff Loeb, arguably THE best superhero writer on the stands today. David Goyer, screenwriter of both BLADE films. Phil Winslade, underrated uber-artist behind the recent HOWARD THE DUCK series and one of my all-time favorite Vertigo miniseries, GODDESS. Jeph Loeb, current scribe of BATMAN and writer of such comic book classics as DAREDEVIL: YELLOW, SUPERMAN: FOR ALL SEASONS, and BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN. And Tim Sale, Loeb’s partner in crime and artist of all of his works listed above. With credits like this, this comic should ooze coolness. It should exemplify what a good old, classic comic book can and should be. When I heard about this miniseries, I was excited to see what these comic greats could achieve when they put their heads together. So I bought JSA ALL STARS #2. And I read it. And all I have to say is…
Eh.
It wasn’t a horrible issue. It focuses on Hawkgirl and Hawkman. The first story deals with the ongoing threat that ties this eight issue mini-series together. An unseen menace has kidnapped the elder members of the JSA and if they are to be saved, the rest of the team must face their pasts and deal with things left undone. A pretty ambiguous set-up, huh? One that leaves a lot of room for some talented creators to create interesting stories, but so far, these stories are nowhere to be found.
The good part is that it’s Johns writing the JSA. This team is his baby. He has practically re-created these characters. He knows what makes them tick and how to write a good yarn around them. The Hawkgirl story, entitled “Flying High,” begins by throwing us smack dab into the middle of the action. The scene is fast-paced and brutal, everything one would expect from a Hawkgirl adventure in the sky. She swoops like her namesake and swings her mace like a homerun hitter, smashing jet-glider-pack wearing baddies and sending them falling to the earth. Johns and Goyer write this scene well. You can feel the action. Goyer’s cinematic expertise is evident here. From one panel to the next, the scene plays out like an elaborate action movie sequence of high caliber. Winslade’s art is equally impressive. His thick lines and attention to detail remind me of Butch Guice’s superb art from the RESURRECTION MAN series (a Bug favorite from a while back). Hawkgirl defies gravity and Winslade communicates that feeling by making you question which way is up in every panel.
Unfortunately, Winslade was the only creator that didn’t disappoint me in this issue. Once the action scene is over and the plot begins to kick in, the story sinks like a lead balloon. The thing is, since Hawkgirl was re-introduced, the driving force behind her rage and personal struggles has had to do with the death of her parents. Johns has spent a great amount of time dealing with this issue in both JSA and HAWKMAN. One would think that, given the opportunity to learn and rectify past mistakes (the driving force behind the plot of this series), Hawkgirl would focus on this past tragedy. Well, one would be wrong. Instead, Johns and Goyer toss a tale of unwanted pregnancies and abandoned daughters into Hawkgirl’s origin from out of nowhere. It’s poorly handled. It’s sappy. It’s rushed. It’s a shameless and awkward attempt to pull at the heartstrings.
I wouldn’t have minded this new revelation in Hawkgirl’s backstory if it had been revealed in her own book or in JSA, but to have this story come out in this mini-series just tells me that these creators are wedging in this dilemma to pad an issue and support the paper-thin plot. Had Johns and Goyer spent more time developing the sentimental moments and less time trying to thrill us with an eight page action sequence, this story may have had the emotional impact that they intended. But they didn’t, so you come away remembering the opening action scene instead of the supposed poignant moments that end the story.
The second tale, “The Same Thing Happens Every Night,” is equally flimsy. It’s a "Times Past" tale depicting Hawkman trying to get home in time for dinner. Of course, like telemarketers, criminals don’t respect the dinner hour, and Hawkman is forced to fight crime instead of enjoying his wife’s home cookin’. It’s a light tale, the type of filler one would expect from the back pages of a SECRET FILES or an annual, but not the type of stuff one would expect to see Loeb and Sale’s name attached to. This story is a throw-away. The writing is vapid and forgetful. The art is sloppy and looks as if it were done an hour before press time.
Loeb, Sale, Goyer, Johns - I expected more from you guys. I’m a huge fan of the work these guys have done on their respective, regular titles, but they seem to be cruising through this series without a lot of feeling or motivation. Six issues to go and this mini-series has slowed to a crawl. More top creators are set to tell stories of the JSA. Let’s hope they stop phoning it in and actually try to make the rest of the series worth reading.
STRANGEHAVEN #15
Gary Spencer Millidge
Abiogenesis Press
Reviewed by: Lizzybeth
It’s the great dilemma of indie comics. Readers want to see a title come out on a somewhat regular basis, a not-unreasonable request. Writer/artists want to do things like eat and pay bills, and let’s face it, comic book making isn’t the most effective way to do so. Without a major company to distribute, advertise, and provide steady payment and benefits, it’s no way to make a living. But any artist who wants to own his own creations has limited options at the larger publishers. Finding and maintaining some sort of compromise long enough build up an enduring series is a difficult accomplishment. It’s much of the reason why so many indie titles dwindle away before they can finish their story, much less reach their potential.
Me, I’m pretty forgiving of comic book lateness, especially such a pleasurable read as Strangehaven. Knowing how much trouble I have just writing about comics on a regular basis, I can hardly complain about the intricate and surely time-consuming artwork involved in a book like Strangehaven. Yes, a year between issues is a bit excessive, and I was getting fairly annoyed with the delay by the time this issue appeared. But it’s surprising how easily I can slip back into this book. Fortunately for Millidge, he’s come up with a premise that can hold up through the long waits. His secluded village, magicked into the English countryside, has the kind of unhurried pace that almost calls for a laconic storytelling ethic. It is his skill, also, in constructing each individual issue, that makes a single outing a satisfying story in itself and the wait between issues endurable. The continuing mystery of the series, the secret of the village that prevents any visitors from leaving, permits Millidge to leave other details and mysteries dangling between issues without being overtly manipulative. Everyone has secrets in Strangehaven; that’s part of its charm. So what’s a few unresolved plot points?
This issue has some particularly entertaining situations that are impressive in how gradually they have been built up over time. In one darkly funny twist, the doctor’s wife, who has been trying to escape her marriage almost from the get-go, is now trying to murder her hubby. She is no more successful in these efforts than she was in persuading him to dump her by sleeping with his brother (he didn’t find it convincing). I was laughing out loud at the result of her efforts; I can’t imagine what she’ll do next. Another similarly bizarre segment – The policeman had struck me in the past as one of the few sane fellows in the book until this issue, when I noticed he was dictating his theories on the town’s latest murder case to his teddy bear. And then there’s the sinister turn concerning the Brotherhood, after Alex’s pricelessly incredulous reaction to their invitation for membership. The hyper-realistic art only heightens the comedy, making for Millidge’s funniest outing yet, without losing the tension lurking beneath the surface.
In both plot and artwork, Strangehaven shows a level of craft that is a step above most comics on the market. It would be a shame for this book to disappear, and the delays more than anything make me fear for the future of the series. I hope that comic shops are continuing to stock the title, and that readers are doing as I have and inquired after the book at their local stores. Clearly it’s less than ideal to wait so long for your comics fix, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s better late than never. For a comic this good, I’m willing to wait…well, not forever, but for awhile.
(note: Gary Spencer Millidge also edited the brand-new Alan Moore tribute book, full of comics and essays honoring this most famous of comic book writers. If you feel like commemorating the upcoming League of Extraordinary Gentlemen flick, pick up this volume – I haven’t read the whole thing yet, but what I’ve seen is very good.)
SUPREME: THE STORY O' THE YEAR (TPB)
Written by Alan Moore
Art by Joe Bennett, Rick Veitch, Alex Ross, Keith Giffen, Chris Sprouse, Dan Jurgens, Mark Pajarillo, J. Morrigan, J.J. Bennett, Richard Horie
Published by Checker
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Late at night, when all the other @$$holes are sleeping, spooned in our Dr. Seussian bed-built-for-nine, I like to get up, light a stogie, tap a goblet from the nearest keg, and wander around Our Hall O' Greatness! Ah, the history! The grandeur! The tradition! The stench!
I suppose it starts with the Golden Age @$$holes, also known as The @$$embled @$$holes of America. That version of the @$$holes was doing its part for the war effort by making fun of Hitler and making sure the women on the homefront didn't get too lonely. It was an era of innocence and fun, marred only by the member called Jap-Attack Bug and the fact that Golden Age Super-Ninja was sent to an internment camp because her name sounded too Nazi (Uber?) and contained a Japanese word.
The relics from the '50s @$$holes are equally interesting. The rotted corpse of the Old @$$keeper still gives me the finger each time I walk by, just as he gave Dr. Wertham and Senator Kefauver the finger at those Senate hearings. The '60s @$$holes are represented by the therapist's couch from the new Heroes With Problems Era and by the @$$mobile and huge POW! and BAM! signs from the campy T.V. series @$$HOLE & TALKBACKER. I won't even get into all the mementos from the '70s Blaxploitation Kung Fu Barbarian Exorcist @$$holes. Or the early '80s Secret Crisis Cro$$over @$$holes. There are a few nuclear shadows from the grim 'n' gritty, cold-blooded mid-80's @$$holes, but you've probably seen those because they still linger in many comics today.
I get a headache when I run into the exhibit of multi-variant, polybagged @$$holes from the early '90s. It gets worse when you come to all of those dozens of X-@$$holes in the mid-to-late 90s. The new wing, for the leather-clad, goateed Ultimate @$$holes of today is still being built. The funny thing is, not a lot seems to happen over there. But a lot of talking goes on. A lot of talking.
In November of this year, Alan Moore turns half-a-hundred. A few years ago, before he deluded himself that working for Wildstorm wasn't the same as working for DC, he refused to work for both of the Big Two comic publishers. That left indie stuff and Image mostly. He hooked up with Rob Liefeld on a Liefeld-created project called SUPREME. If you missed most of Liefeld's creations, the art was never as bad as everyone said after they finished saying how great it was, but the characters were straight out of all our seventh grade margin doodling. He'd draw a set of muscles and give it a name that was usually from an action movie like DIE HARD or DEADPOOL, or was a verb or adjective. SUPREME was one of the adjective characters.
Moore turned SUPREME into a self-aware doppelganger of SUPERMAN. It is a great way of looking a Superman through the ages and comics in general, and seeing what has gone wrong and what was done right. Moore's Supreme knows he's a relaunch but doesn't know much else. He spends the series, in this superior trade, discovering his past - his versions of the Fortress of Solitude, Smallville, the JLA, The Legion, Supergirl, Lois Lane, Lana Lang, and Jimmy Olsen. Radar the Hound Supreme will even make you dig Krypto.
LOBO UNBOUND #1
Keith Giffen was the Main Man who wrote it.
Alex Horley drew the fraggin’ thing.
The bastiches at DC published it.
And Ambush Bug reviewed the fucker.
You know, some people like to think of comics as an art form. They want their stories to have deep meaning and social relevance. They see comics not as fodder for children and teenage boys, but as serialized fiction in illustrated form. They tout such works as MAUS, FROM HELL, ROAD TO PERDITION, and THE WATCHMEN and say “Lookee here, nay-sayers. Look at how these books transcend the genre and communicate meaningful stories to the masses.” These people cringe at the term “funny books” and wish to bring maturity and respect to the comic book medium.
These people are not going to like LOBO UNBOUND #1. Or maybe they will like it. Let me explain.
Because there isn’t enough crude, WWF-style, brainless machismo in comics today, LOBO has been UNBOUND. Normally, I would be one of those who shudder at another “crude 'n’ rude” comic - the kind of comic that attempts to push the term "gross-out" to its limits and tries its hardest to say or do something to offend just about everyone - but I have to admit that I liked this book.
A baby Lobo slaughters the doctor that births him, his mother, his adoptive parents, and just about everyone who crosses his path as a toddler; all to a rhyme reminiscent of a Dr. Seussian tale.
An alien repeatedly swings his over-sized testicles like a ball and chain over his head and pummels Lobo with them.
Lobo has a conversation with a sentient case of crabs who take residence in an alien prostitute.
Offended yet? Well, if you aren’t, give this book a try. It ain’t pretty, but writer Keith Giffen, seems to be having a lot of fun with one of the characters that put his name on the map. I think the thing that makes this book appealing to me was the nostalgia factor. I remember when Lobo was first popular. Out of all of the antiheroes of the late 80’s and 90’s, Lobo didn’t really evolve much. Venom and Sabretooth went through their own heroic phases, but Lobo was always one mean bastich through and through. Of course, there was Peter David’s Slo-bo, a teenage version of Lobo who annoyed the hell out of readers of YOUNG JUSTICE, but I think it is best that we all forget about him. Giffen surely does since the transition from Slo-bo to the Main Man we all know and love is never mentioned once in this book.
I remember reading the LOBO miniseries, LOBO’S BACK, and the LOBO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, and laughing my ass off. I was a teenager back then and loved that type of over the top, violent shit. This was before PREACHER or THE AUTHORITY thrilled the fans of ultra-violence, swears, and carnage. Back then, violence had one name, two syllables, and carried a meat hook on a chain. Lobo wasn’t classic comics, but it was a hell of a lot of fun to read. And that’s why I liked this book. It reminds one where all of this type of violence in comics came from. Lobo didn’t start it all, but it sure pushed the limits of what comics could get away with. Back then, Lobo was the original badass and Giffen harnesses that feeling again in UNBOUND #1, as if he never left the character.
Artist Alex Horley seems to remember those old LOBO comics. His art in LOBO UNBOUND assures me that somehow, Horley is the bastard son of Simon Bisley. The Biz became famous drawing savage renditions of Lobo performing eviscerations and raising hell. Horley is a worthy predecessor. His art has a painterly feel, with subtle hues and colors. But the images are far from subtle. Horley knows what he has to do in this comic and does it. He makes the violence hard and always makes Lobo look cool. Fans of Bisley will love Horley’s work.
It’s the 80’s all over again at DC. The JLI is coming back later this summer with its original team of creators (Giffen included) in FORMERLY KNOWN AS JUSTICE LEAGUE. The TITANS are back to the TEEN TITANS. Hell, even THE OUTSIDERS are giving it another try. And now we have LOBO. Giffen missed the boat last year with a limp SUICIDE SQUAD relaunch that failed to please critics and fans alike. He seemed out of his depth with that series, not knowing whether to take the material seriously or to get kooky with it. Giffen seems more at home with LOBO. He’s having a ball (no pun intended) by putting the ultra-grizzly Lobo into one ludicrous situation after the next. Lobo is not at the top of his game. His reputation is wounded and now he has to prove all over again that he is the Main Man. That’s the plot. It’s not deep. It’s not heavy. No life-changing morals are going to be learned by reading this book. But this book will be a trip and a half for those of you who remember Lobo’s glory days and are itchin’ for some more shit of that fraggin’ sort.
PROPOSITION PLAYER (TPB)
Writer: Bill Willingham
Artists: Bill Willingham & Paul Guinan
Publisher: DC Comics/Vertigo
Reviewed by Cormorant
The scoundrel hero, exemplified by rogues as disparate as Han Solo, Rick from CASABLANCA, and Huckleberry Finn, has always enjoyed a favored spot in the hearts of audiences. Taken a step further, we get the bastard hero. That's the lead who might find himself doing the right thing, but never at the expense of his morally ambiguous inclinations and nasty habits. Think John Constantine, Clint Eastwood's "Man With No Name," ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK's Snake Plissken, and add to that list PROPOSITION PLAYER's Joey Martin.
But first, a handy definition of the phrase "proposition player" for other folks like me whose only experience with gambling is with McDonald's Monopoly:
Proposition Player: A proposition player, or "prop," is a player who is paid by a cardroom to play poker, usually in order to keep games going when they get shorthanded, or to get games started. Props are paid a salary, but they gamble with their own money. Props either learn how to play pretty solid poker or they run out of money.
Joey Martin's a ballsy proposition player at a Las Vegas casino. He's been at it for "five awful years." He's also an asshole. He smarts off to annoying players, ignores warnings from his boss because he knows that good proposition players are hard to find, and treats his girlfriend co-worker like shit. And yet…and yet…he's somehow likeable in his unrepentant smart-assedness, one of the defining traits of the bastard hero. Joey's got plans, too – he's pinching pennies to save up to make his fortune on high stakes poker games, and he just might be canny enough to do it. This being a Vertigo book, though, you can be damn sure that that's not gonna happen before some devils and angels show up to make things weird. Indeed, a barroom bet gone awry lands Joey in possession of thirty-two souls (no shit), and so begins a darkly comedic battle of wits as forces from Heaven, Hell, and various discredited pantheons of the ancient world vie for possession of them.
With only one notable caveat, I had a blast with this story. It's a wild and umpredictable ride, packed to the gills with all the double-crosses and bluffs you'd expect from the best gambling yarns. Although the miniseries this trade is comprised of preceded writer Bill Willingham's current series, FABLES, the two series share Willingham's trademark penchant for black humor, sly characterization, literate references, and the occasional instance of harsh violence (more on this later). If Willingham's depiction of the emissaries of Heaven and Hell are perhaps too Vertigo-clichéd (that is, Heaven's not so nice, Hell not so evil), then Willingham manages to make up for it with a scores of innovative moments and memorable lines of dialogue. Odin's legendary ravens proffer advise to Joey with the mannerisms of a modern-day Heckle and Jeckel; a dead friend of Joey's turns up in his apartment, the de facto "afterlife" since Joey owns his soul; and dog-headed god of death, Anubis, prowls the casinos of Vegas in a Hawaiian shirt, quite certain that gamblers will just assume he's part of some Egyptian attraction. It all builds to a riotous and unexpected conclusion that borders on genius.
Now about that caveat. I haven't followed enough of Willingham's work to talk authoritatively about his writing patterns, but in the handful of series I've read (CONVENTRY, FABLES, and now PROPOSITION PLAYER), I've noticed a somewhat disarming pattern of bad things happening to women. Now make no mistake – bad things happen to da boys, too, like the nice guy in PROPOSITION PLAYER who gets flattened when a wall falls on him, but the violence against women seems a little more…calculated, perhaps? I'll skip the details (most of the nastiness is implied, anyway, though no less unpleasant for it), but suffice to say that some very bad things happen to Joey's girlfriend, and coupled with the general spotlight on a bastard hero as the lead and the other stories I've read from Willingham…I got a bit of a misogyny vibe. Real or imagined, it left a bad taste in my mouth, and honestly came close to ruining a story I was otherwise really enjoying. I won't discount the book based on it, though. I'm still recommending PROPOSITION PLAYER, especially to fans of FABLES, but I can't give it the unqualified push I wanted to.
The art is standard Vertigo stuff, which means that it's technically superior but underwhelming when it comes to style. The coloring's a little "blah," too, and one particular effect – an overly defined "highlight sheen" that gives characters the plastic look last seen in early Image comics – weakens the art of the first few chapters before, blessedly, disappearing in later ones. In the back of the trade, there are reprints of John Bolton's original painted covers for the miniseries, and they're just gorgeous. Almost made me wish he'd painted the entire series, at least until I remembered that most painted comics blow chunks.
Still and all, I'm quite happy I picked this trade up, and see it as one of those books I'll be lending out to non-comics-reading friends in the near future. The premise is quirky and approachable, the humor of the "laugh out loud" variety, and the package altogether satisfying. No missed beats here, and if Hollywood had enough faith in creativity to adapt it, it'd be a hit with audiences. Alas, with the likes of BAD BOYS II, DUMB & DUMBERER, and FREDDY VS. JASON headed our way, that seems less and less likely, so it's time again to be thankful for comics - the other visual medium.
