Father Geek here with another week-ending, or is that week-beginning, dose of our man downunder Latauro... lots of coolness as is the usual, buuuuut this week he's thrown several reviews into the mix as well. Ol' Father Geek like that touch, hope he keeps it up...

Latauro here once again... If a film studio put their money in the bank instead of investing in films, wouldn’t the interest make them a bigger profit than the box office? Especially given only ten per cent of films actually turn a profit? Ignoring the logistics and legalities of the reality in which we live, the answer is a resounding YES. So, while you ponder that circular illogic, here is this ridiculously long week’s...

AICN-DOWNUNDER

Some misc stats...

• 30% action
• 17% comedy
• 13% Good versus Evil
• 12% love/sex/romance
• 10 % special effects
• 8% music

* Add one Harvey Weinstein Oscar campaign, a dash of holiday weekend and a Time Magazine cover story. Allow to sit until the DVD release. Serve with an extras-laden bonus disc.

With the exception of the self-consciously ha-ha last paragraph, that is the formula the University of London’s Sue Clayton is touting as the formula for a successful film. Sponsored by Diet Coke in an effort to identify the most successful product-placement contenders, Clayton has listed the admittedly-perfect TOY STORY 2 as the film that best fits the recipe. SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE apparently comes second, although misses out from its lack of special effects.

This has put many noses out of joint, including that of Carole Sklan, development manager for the Australian Film Commission. “Any successful film needs consummate cinematic skills in storytelling, lashing of imagination, creative ambition, an abundance of bold ideas, a strong sense of emotional truth, compelling characters, etc...” Despite the fact it sounded like Sklan was herself listing a formula for good filmmaking, she went on to comment: “These qualities are not something that can be produced to formula. A film that is constructed to a formula can seem superficial and sterile and fail to inspire or excite.”

On the other hand, Clayton only accounted for 90% of a film’s ingredients, leaving a full 10% of creative freedom up for grabs.

I feel better already.

NEWS

* Rest of the World, prepare to have your minds blown. Cate Blanchett will play the lead in the cunningly-titled UNTITLED BEATRIX POTTER BIOPIC. The author of such classic children’s books featuring gumdrop babies and Peter Rabbit (who had a serious hand in raising Latauro... and if nobody could read anything dirty into that statement, it’d be much appreciated) faced family and social constraints, which is prime movie material. Bruce Beresford will direct.

* One of AICN-D’s trusty anonymous scoopers (what’s with you guys and your precious anonymity? bah...) has written in about a recent event... “Have just attended a function at NIDA in which the students celebrated a tour to the Prague Quadrinale (Theatre Design Exhibition) and guest of honour was double Oscar winner Catherine Martin, wife of Baz Lurhmann. She held an hour-long Q & A session in which she talked of her life in art etc, and chatted freely about the work process with her husband. Amongst all this, info on ALEXANDER THE GREAT was thrown in. Anecdotal as it was, I guess I can say that the script is at Draft 1 stage, and I heard from a friend of mine that research into the period etc was already heavily under way. It will be non-musical (the fact that someone even brought that question up was weird) but where it is at now is merely in the concept stages, which is probably the result of the theatre-style working relationship that the two have together (ie, Baz sees himself as a storyteller, in that true theatre meaning of the word).” Oliver Stone still hasn’t thrown them off? Good... I suppose.

* As always, some Peter Jackson-related stuff... Another scooper confirms the re-working of the orc costumes for RETURN OF THE KING. Although the reasons for the new designs differ from scoop to scoop, the contention seems to be that these orcs are going to beat the shit out of anything we’ve seen so far.

And as for the big giant ape, KING KONG will definitely contain some ‘period-referencing’ to the 1930s, which should please those of us who fondly recall the original. (Incidentally, the 30s KING KONG was the first film Latauro ever saw at the cinema. Age of three, and I still remember running out to the foyer ’cos I was scared.)

* Don’t expect to see Ned Kelly comedy NED in the US anytime soon. Someone who’s seen a preview of the film has called the film “funny as hell, but also incredibly crude”. Lots of toilet humour, but also some spot-on comic timing, according to our scooper. The film will open in Australia next week.

* Director Jeff Balsmeyer’s DANNY DECKCHAIR (starring NOTTING HILL’s Rhys Ifans and LORD OF THE RINGS’ Miranda Otto) will grace Australian screens in July. The good news is that an international release has been confirmed. Lions Gate will distribute the film (concerning the adventures of a truck driver who ties helium balloons to his deck chair and floats away) in the US later this year.

* So rarely is the phrase ‘one of the best surfing dramas of all time’ uttered, it seemed a shame not to include it here. (Clears throat.) One of the breast turfing bananas of tall lime is doing the festival circuit, to much audience and critical acclaim. Director Phil Avalon’s LIQUID BRIDGE features ‘the biggest rideable wave in the world’ (off the Island of Maui in Hawaii, apparently), and, according to the press release, was released nationally across Australia on May 22. Anyone who comes into contact with it should contact local authorities immediately.

* The Screen Producers Association of Australia (SPAA) has been doing some serious negotiating with the Motion Picture Association (MPA) in the South of France. After some heated debate over the treatment of Australian film and television in the proposed US/Australia Free Trade Agreement, MPA President Jack Valenti is conceding that Australia should be allowed to retain its ‘local regulations’. Those who recall last year’s heated debate over the Screen Actors Guild’s controversial Global Rule One will see a pattern emerging...

More bad news for SPAA... If they don’t settle pay negotiations with the Media Entertainment and Arts Alliance (MEAA) by June 30, strikes could bring many of Australia’s dramas to a halt. (Although anyone who’s really going to miss “All Saints” probably shouldn’t be reading this site...)

* Nicole Kidman has announced she will star in the oft-rumoured sequels to DOGVILLE. Lars Von Trier is going to try and get second film MANDERLAY shot this coming US winter, and will conclude the trilogy with WASINGTON. Kidman is currently in Cannes to promote DOGVILLE and bum cigarettes off Stellan Skarsgard.

* Rumours are floating around that casting for the REVELATIONS trilogy is beginning, with Jessica Alba and Orlando Bloom receiving offers. The films – which, if other rumours are true, will lens in Melbourne in 2004 – are based on the series of popular novels. Rumoured directors include Tobe Hooper, Michael Rymer, Russell Mulcahy.

* Geoffrey Rush has joined Eric Idle’s THE REMAINS OF THE PIANO. To be frank, Rush being Australian is really just an excuse for me to include a bit about this film in this column. If the title makes you laugh as much as I did, then Orlando Bloom playing a character called Daniel Day-Lewis should make you wet your jodhpurs. The film should start lensing in the Isles soon.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

50TH SYDNEY FILM FESTIVAL (June 6-20)

Sydney’s popular annual festival has announced (or rather, spokespeople for the festival have announced – festivals can’t talk, you know) the following guests: German filmmaker Mark Ottiker, Kim In-sik (director of Korea’s controversial first-ever gay-themed film), Canadian director Wiebke von Carolsfeld, and Kiwi doco maker Brita McVeigh. They join India’s Buddhadeb Dasgupta and China’s Li Yang.

ST KILDA FILM FESTIVAL

This coming Saturday (May 31) will play host to a variety of the country’s best short films. If you’re in the Melbourne area and want a night of great entertainment, go directly to This Location for ticket info.

One of the festival’s short listed films, EMPTY PALLETTE, has a poster up at the following link: Just Click Here

BOX OFFICE

Hands up everyone who’s surprised by this result. Put your hand down, idiot. MATRIX RELOADED is predictably smashing records everywhere, including the Australian record for biggest ever three-day weekend. In Australia alone, the bullet-time extravaganza made $11 070 000 from opening moment (Thursday at 12:01am) through to Sunday eve. Making up the following slots is something of a facsimile of last week’s tally.

Annnnd the winners are...

• 1. MATRIX RELOADED
• 2. X2
• 3. WHALE RIDER
• 4. HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN TEN DAYS
• 5. ANGER MANAGEMENT

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Cedric the Entertainer gives OTHER people advice on hairstyles, Gael Garcia Bernal + sex = let’s watch, director Stavros Kazantzidis proves that Australians can make comedies at least as funny as anything Larry Clark produces, Kevin Spacey yells passionate things at metal bars, one of the test smurfing lamas of ball chime bodyboards quietly onto the big screen, and Joel Schumacher finally graduates to ‘watchable’.

Annnnnnnd here they are...

• BARBERSHOP
• EL CRIMEN DEL PADRE AMARO (THE CRIME OF FATHER AMARO)
• HORSEPLAY
• THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE
• LIQUID BRIDGE
• PHONE BOOTH

REVIEWS

Latauro's trip on the RUSSIAN ARK...

A few years ago, I and others won a One Shot Film Festival with a film that went for twelve minutes. The camera went over fences, up ladders, under water... but we attempted to make the *story* enjoyable as well, 'cos style over substance gets really boring after a while. I went to see RUSSIAN ARK for the style and the spectacle; I knew nothing about the story. I was there for the technical accomplishment (technical accomplishment alone got MATRIX RELOADED a bunch of money this past week), the idea that there might be a plot hadn't really occurred to me.

RUSSIAN ARK is an amazing piece of art that transcended any and all expectations I had. To give you a quick rundown, the camera takes on the point of view of a disconcerted character as he moves through time and space, encounters figures from history, angels, and a mysterious European figure dressed in black. There's an impressively unpretentious discussion of Italian art and Russian culture; the way the characters interact with one another is mesmerising; this is a film that actually has something important to say. It requires repeat viewings and digestion.

The technical aspect is what will draw most people to this film, and it is one to be marveled at. This is not some motion control rig set up to effortlessly move from close up to wide shot without a single bump. There is no ROPE-style disappearing-behind-a-dark-object, nor is there PANIC ROOM-style CGI. It's a guy with a Stedicam, and he carries the bastard around for eighty full minutes. It's slow moving, but beautiful.

I was looking forward to this film, but I wasn't expecting it to affect me the way it did. See it.

Latauro's take on MATRIX RELOADED...

Okay. Like most, I'm a fan of the original. I saw it a couple of times, had fun, etc... But it didn't blow me away the way it did others. The plot was okay, but it's been done. The dialogue was pretty fucking awful. The massive logic holes left me confounded, but I let it go. It was visual candy, and I've watched it dozens of times because it's big dumb fun, and a classic in its own right.

MATRIX RELOADED is pretty much the same, only every element has been pushed to extremes. They've got a much larger budget to play with, so the effects are much more impressive. They're bigger, louder, and the choreography has definitely stepped up from the first. But the plot holes are bigger. The dialogue is worse. The logic gaps are more annoying.

I'll start with the dialogue. Unlike most, I found the scene with the Architect to be a giant wank. For me, the film ground to a halt during these scenes, and the dialogue scraped new depths of non-sensical pretension. It was only when I read the internet transcript of what he'd actually said that I understood the point of the scene. His point (which is actually a pretty interesting one) could have been made in half the time, and should have been rewritten by someone with a basic understanding of sentence structure. Someone who's not out to prove how clever they are by using big words (I thought we were done with that after Cyrus the Virus).

I'm being more vitriolic than I'd intended, because when it gets down to it, I really enjoyed this film. I'm going to see it again. I'm going to get it on DVD, 'cos it's a blast to watch. It's really fun, and the much-touted action scenes are, on the whole, mind-blowing. Agent Smith's character is intriguing, the Merangpie had some nice moments, and... well, the fight scenes are cool.

But this film should have been better. We were promised better. We were promised a complete lack of bar. My biggest beef? The so-called "cliffhanger". A cliffhanger is meant to give us new information. It's meant to turn everything we know on its head. It's meant to be THE moment that enhances everything that came before and promises bigger and better in the next film. This is the theory. The cliffhanger to RELOADED is a small camera movement to reveal (spoilers a-comin') the guy who we ALREADY KNOW Agent Smith inhabits. We saw Smith go into this guy. We saw him try to kill Neo. We heard him talk like Smith. When we were told someone was sabotaging Zion, we knew who it was. There is no surprise in this moment. There is no spectacle in this moment. It's a spectacular anti-climax. What would have been better? The rumoured destruction of Zion? Trinity's death? The guy on the bench being Cypher? Well, anything. Something SHOCKING. Something that makes me think, "Fuck me, I'm so there for the next film". Not something that makes me think "Well, yeah... you already told me that... twice." (The ending to the first movie had a better cliffhanger, and that was BEFORE they had the sequels greenlit.)

Despite my disappointment, I am actually on the fence about it. But the bottom line is you're all going to see it and you're all going to have different opinions. Which is good. But if you want amazing effects and a plot with some actual depth to it...

Latauro checks out the totally restored FRITZ LANG’S METROPOLIS

Australia is notorious for getting films well after their US release date, but METROPOLIS is a German film from 1927... you’d think Village could have got off its arse and released this a little sooner.

Labouring aside, this is the third time I’ve seen this film, the first time I’ve seen it on the big screen, and the first time I’ve seen this film. Why? How? When? Where? Who? What? Whether? Whenceforth? Whither? Well, for those of you who are into silent-era German expressionism as much as yours truly, you’ll know that every few months a brand new definitive re-edit of Fritz Lang’s METROPOLIS is released.

The Peter Osbourne-score version (1998) was cool. The Giorgio Moroder-score version (1984) needed muting. This is far and away the best version of what is probably the best science fiction film of all time. Has any film balanced left-wing and right-wing views as evenly as this? Has any film shown the upper- and lower-classes to be as equally fallible as this? Has any other film PREDICTED something as accurate and far-off as video phones? They didn’t have television when this film was made, and we’re only just starting to get video phones on our mobiles (cell phones).

It’s interesting watching this film days after seeing MATRIX RELOADED, which I tore into above. The films make very similar points about machines taking over our lives... and yet METROPOLIS made the point in an infinitely better way. It was subtle, it was effective, and it featured the over-emoting of Gustav Frohlich.

Look, you’ve all seen this film, and if you haven’t, fucking see it now. The image quality in this release is far and away better than (possibly excluding the lost original copy) any version before it (fifteen of ’em, apparently). According to the promotions, this current release uses the original score for the film. It’s, quite frankly, the best treatment this film has ever had. Find it on the big screen.

NEXT WEEK...

- Steven Soderbergh falls out with long-time collaborator Peter Andrews

- The Coen Brothers fire editor Roderick Jaynes

- The ghost of Gene Roddenberry bitch-slaps Rick Berman

Peace out,

Latauro