Father Geek back with another week ending edition of our regular column from the Land Beyond Beyond... and our editor Latauro . Make sure to keep him filled in on all the industry news down there folks, and MIFF, set this guy up with press passes to your fest... let the world hear what's happening in Melbourne this summer...

We won’t know until November whether 2003 really *is* the Year of the Matrix or not, but one thing is for sure: it’s definitely the Year of Latauro ! Aware that I have nothing to back that up with, here is this week’s...

AICN-DOWNUNDER

It’s interesting (and uncharacteristic) that I should be more excited about seeing a double of one-shot feature film RUSSIAN ARK and restored SF classic METROPOLIS than I am about seeing MATRIX RELOADED. Is it all the negative reviews, or is it just lacking that classic hook? As impressive as the effects look, are there any new ideas in the film? Is there anything revolutionary... or need we wait for the third film for that (namesake and all) ? I’ll be seeing the new Neo tautology this weekend, and will give you my thoughts next week.

Onto more exciting things... When AICN-D broke the KING KONG story (you’d think I’d be tired of reminding everybody about that, but apparently not), Peter Jackson said he was hard at work on a BAR-*COUGH!* project. Not just clever subterfuge, but a clue as to one of his many upcoming projects.

For the past several weeks our legions of AICN-D spies have been sorting through a virtual minefield of rumours, laid out by Jackson and WETA, to try and find out what this mysterious film is all about. Though we don’t yet know the title (any day now, I promise), we have uncovered some small details...

NEWS

* Peter Jackson’s personal little BAR-*COUGH!* project will shoot directly before KONG, although a few sources say directly after KING KONG. Here’s what we know:

- it may well be animated to look in the "old" school style

- it’s a war movie

- it’s low-budget (comparatively speaking)

- Peter Jackson owns a line of cool war toys called “Bayonets and Barbed Wire”... and though we don’t yet know the title of this top secret project, it’s definitely not BARBED WIRE... AICN-D’s sources will continue to dig up the dirt, but rest assured: you’ll be seeing BAR-*COUGH!* in cinemas as surely as you’ll be seeing KING-*COUGH!*.

* While we’re on the Jackson Jive, remember the differences between the normal orcs and the Moria orcs (or goblins, as they are sometimes referred to )? RETURN OF THE KING will up the ante with ‘all-new, extra-mega-shit-your-pants scary Mordor orcs’, as AICN-D scooper Johnny Bartlett describes them. How long before we get a glimpse of these guys?

* Paul Hogan (CROCODILE DUNDEE, as if you needed reminding) will join Michael Caton (THE CASTLE) in the comedy STRANGE BEDFELLOWS. The film tells the story of two ageing straight guys who pretend to be a gay couple in order to avoid paying taxes. The film also stars local legend Bert Newton and British actor Pete Postlethwaite, and will be directed by Dean Murphy (producer of TIL HUMAN VOICES WAKE US).

* The makers of currently-in-Cannes flick JAPANESE STORY will make comedy-drama DRIVING BACK TO DUBBO. The film follows a teenage girl who steals $20,000 from her father and runs away from home. The film will be directed by Alison Tilson and produced by Sue Maslin.

* Aussie girl Rahda Mitchell will join Denzel Washington, Christopher Walken and Robert Downey Jr in MAN ON FIRE. The film is written by Brian Helgeland (LA CONFIDENTIAL) and directed by Tony Scott (TOP GUN). The much-reported film about Sinatra’s disastrous 1974 trip to Australia will make its worldwide debut in Australia on August 2003. Dennis Hopper plays Sinatra, and David Field plays ex-prime minister Bob Hawke.

* Rumours are circulating that MATRIX RELOADED will *not* be playing on IMAX screens across Australia. Despite the increase of IMAX revenue over the past couple of years, distributors have been unable to secure a deal for the sure-fire hit. Looks like we’ll have to resort to watching it on 35mm, people...

* Tidbit of industry news for you: the Australian Film Commission (AFC) will merge with ScreenSound Australia on July 1.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

2003 NATIONAL AWARDS FOR CINEMATOGRAPHY

The top honour this year went to Martin McGrath at the May 10 ceremony. McGrath received the Milli award for Cinematographer of the Year for his work on local feature SWIMMING UPSTREAM.

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

If anyone out there connected to the Festival feels like donating a festival ticket, or all access Press Pass to AICN-DOWNUNDER, they’re more than welcome. Just contact Latauro and I'll see to it that the fest gets tons of Worldwide coverage on the front page of AICN. Un Certain Regard contender JAPANESE STORY will open the festival in July.

BOX OFFICE

The mutants crushed all competition, but in a heartening display of palette-cleansing, the Kiwi coming-of-age drama WHALE RIDER took out second spot. Hollywood’s Paint-By-Number Fillers coloured in the following three spots.

Here they are...

• 1. X2
• 2. WHALE RIDER
• 3. HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS
• 4. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• 5. NATIONAL SECURITY

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Joel Silver gets his spoon/bar metaphors mixed up, English lass Pauline Collins incites senior citizen rebellion, Martin Lawrence gets another $20 million that really should have been used for landfill, and Michael Caine goes round-for-round with Martin Landau.

Annnnd the New Releases are:

• MATRIX RELOADED
• MRS CALDICOT’S CABBAGE WAR
• NATIONAL SECURITY
• SHINER

NEXT WEEK...

- James E. Reilly unveils plans for PASSIONS: THE MOTION PICTURE (with Timmy the talking doll brought to life with CGI)

- Avi Arad announces new Marvel spin-off film based on a DAREDEVIL extra who was cut from the theatrical release

- Conspiracy nuts prove Paul Walker is the oft-rumoured long-lost fifth Baldwin brother

Peace out,

Latauro