Father Geek back again with another of our week ending reports from the land of the Wallebee and other strange and twisted lil' creatures like our foundering editor Latauro. Speaking of which... I think I hear his self pity'n murmuring issuing forth from the muck and stagnant mere of Dagorlad now...

"Tricksy Lights! Candles of Corpses! Wicked Lights!"...

...While I try to comprehend a world in which Aaron Sorkin is unemployed, distractions are key. So, to ease the numbness I feel while I gaze upon what could be the last season of The Melissa Fitzgerald Power Hour, here is this week’s...

AICN-DOWNUNDER

I won’t ramble on too much here. My weekend has just begun and I need to fit in as much DOING NOTHING as I possibly can. In the meantime, I can tell you that next week AICN-Downunder will be printing a very large piece of news that many have been speculating over for a while... Cryptic? Well, yes. But all will be revealed soon...

NEWS

* My old muck Peter Jackson is in need of 200 extras for RETURN OF THE KING pickups. The extras need to have that classic Rohan look, so if you’re Nordic looking, have long blonde or red hair, or (if you’re a dude) have a bald head and/or a beard, you’re the one they’re looking for. Preferably men over sixteen and women over fifty-five are being sought to work at very short notice; between two and six days’ work from May 20 until the end of June. If this is your groove thang, you need to be at the Lane Park Community Auditorium in Upper Hutt between 11am and 3pm on Saturday the 10th of May (which may have been and gone, depending on when this report goes up!).

* Speaking of (as we do so often) LORD OF THE RINGS, there’s talk that the world premiere might not be happening in Wellington after all. New Line are planning on moving it to either London or Manhattan if the council withdraw plans for a $7million upgrade to the Embassy Theatre. Apparently the cinema is fine for the Australasian premiere, but doesn’t quite cut it for the world premiere (or the Universe premiere... let’s be honest here). The council is meeting on whether they can raise the funds or not. The final decision will be made in the next few weeks.

* With NED KELLY raking in the cash, TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG out the window, and THE SASH gearing up for production, it’s clear that what the industry needs now is a forth Ned Kelly film. Well, never say never. Local actor Drew Forsythe (he of all 21 years) has written, directed, and starred in NED, a spoof on the Kelly legend. Reports from the set are good, so there’s a good chance this could be that mysterious rarity: an Australian comedy that’s actually funny. We’ll know for sure on May 22 when NED opens across Australia. (In the meantime, go check out www.nedthemovie.com for more.)

* Okay, there’s been some kerfuffle (a very, very cool word – I expect to see it appearing in talkback subject lines for years to come) over the TONGAN NINJA address. I posted a web address a few weeks ago that isn’t actually the official site (despite appearances). The site you want to go to is www.tonganninjathemovie.com, which will open on May 14 to coincide with the Cannes Film Market.

* Director Philippe Mora (SNIDE AND PREJUDICE) and producer Sue Milliken (SIRENS, ‘Farscape’) will bring $10million feature WHEN WE WERE MODERN to the big screen. The story is set in the Melbourne art world of the 1940s.

* AICN-D mentioned some weeks back that an adaptation of Robin Klein’s HATING ALISON ASHLEY was in the works. Well, Film Finance Corporation Australia has just agreed to front up the money, so the lights are green and the film is gearing up for a September start date.

* Director Ray Lawrence will helm JINDABYNE, revolving around a group of people in a New South Wales ski town. The quote being bandied around is that it’s a “thought-provoking and mesmerizing psychological mystery that portrays the frailty of marriage and human relationships”. Sounds like a giant wank, but then this is the man who brought us LANTANA, remember? The film, inspired by a short story by Raymond Carver, will be produced by Cate Jarman, EPed by Bruce Davey and Barrie M. Osbourne, and scripted by Beatrix Christian. Icon Film Distribution Australia will handle local release, while Icon Entertainment International will send it out around the globe.

* Baz Lurhmann’s ALEXANDER THE GREAT project will now lens in Australia, after problems with insurance, wars and various global epidemics made an international shoot somewhat unfeasible. Despite Oliver Stone’s ALEXANDER project hitting cinemas a year before the Bazmark version, producers claim the project is still going ahead full steam.

* MY FIANCEE, WHATSERNAME is a romantic comedy that will begin filming halfway through the year. Financed by private investors, the producers are currently soliciting resumes and reels for crew positions. They’re after a DOP, a Line Producer, lighting personnel, grips, PAs, et al. If you’re interested (or even if you’re not and you got time to kill), check out www.myfianceethemovie.com for more info.

* News so good we left it ’til last... Casting has begun on ANACONDA 2. The film will lens exteriors in Fiji. Best of my knowledge, this hasn’t been reported anywhere else. Consider yourselves ‘privileged’.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

50th SYDNEY FILM FESTIVAL

THE HONOURABLE WALLY NORMAN (directed by Ted Emery and starring Kevin Harrington, Shaun Micallef and Roz Hammon) will premiere as the opening film at this year’s SFF. The festival will run from June 6 to June 20. The closing night film will be SWIMMING POOL (directed by 8 FEMMES’ Francois Ozon and starring Charlotte Rampling, Charles Dance and Ludivine Sagnier). For details, head to www.sydney-filmfestival.org

46th SAN FRANSISCO FILM FESTIVAL

New Zealand feature WHALE RIDER tied for first place in the audience award, alongside Russian comedy THE CUCKOO. Australian short films THE WAY BACK and PAINTING WITH LIGHT IN A DARK WORLD have also garnished awards at the May 1st close of the San Francisco Film Festival.

BIG SCREEN 2003 TRAVELLING AUSTRALIAN FILM FESTIVAL

The Australian Film Commission and ScreenSound Australia have begun their floating festival, beginning on May 3 in the Victoria/NSW border town of Echuca and continuing around the country to fourteen other regional centres. Films include new Aussie features ALEXANDRA’S PROJECT and HORSEPLAY, as well as WALKING ON WATER, BENEATH CLOUDS, TIL HUMAN VOICES WAKE US and THE TRACKER.

AUSTRALIAN EFFECTS AND ANIMATION FESTIVAL

This event, taking place at ACMIE (the Australian Centre for the Moving Image at Melbourne’s Federation Square), will feature WETA’s Jim Rygiel, ILM’s Cliff Plummer, and a host of other speakers. It takes place from May 12 to May 13, and will cover effects used in LORD OF THE RINGS, HARRY POTTER and THE CORE, to name a few. An absolute must for those interested in the VFX industry.

SPAA CONFERENCE

The dates for this year’s SPAA conference have been shifted. The conference, held at ACMI, will now take place from November 18 to November 21.

BOX OFFICE

No shock to see that the mutants took top spot this week, but it was heartening to see WHALE RIDER knock WHAT A GIRL WANTS down to number six on previews alone. These films had better collect the coin in the next week, ’cos next week we head to bullet time heaven.

Here they are...

• 1. X2
• 2. HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS
• 3. ANGER MANAGEMENT
• 4. JOHNNY ENGLISH
• 5. WHALE RIDER

RELEASED THIS WEEK

Rolf de Heer empowers women, the complete set of Animatrix shorts heads into selected cinemas, IMAX shows that big mountains look big in 70mm, the Greeks prove they can make films that don’t revolve around weddings, Cronenberg messes with Ralph Fiennes’ head, a New Zealand girl sets out to prove something about her heritage, and Tim Allen proves that there IS life beyond Home Improvement... it’s just not a particularly funny one.

Here's the new ones...

• ALEXANDRA’S PROJECT
• THE ANIMATRIX
• KILAMANJARO
• SILICON TEARS
• SPIDER
• WHALE RIDER
• WHO IS CLETIS TOUT?

* Also, for those of you lucky enough to be living in SARS-free-for-the-time-being Melbourne, The Astor theatre (whose virtues are continually extolled in this column) will be playing a brand new print of METROPOLIS for the next few weeks.

NEXT WEEK...

- John Travolta and Faye Dunaway to star in docu-thriller FACE/LIFT

- Sylvester Stallone and Kris Kristofferson to reunite on BO-TOX

- Madonna and Renny Harlin to combine aerobics with seafaring adventure in PILATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

Peace out,

Latauro